Almost Married (2014) Movie Script

We made it! Arrived!
- Cease Fire
- Damn!
Jesus Christ!
Where's our clothes?
- Where is the damn clothes?
- It's the wrong shelter.
- Shelter wrong?
- I drew an incorrect map.
Jarvis, damn criminal!
Should be the other.
What other?
That there.
You son of a bitch!
I finger you popped!
Hey, Jarvis, put on your mask,
fucking idiot!
- Damn! It's broken!
- No, no, no.
Without the masks on,
can not shoot.
Cease fire!
Marshall, masks are broken!
Do not be chicken, Kyle
Can not shoot.
Could lose an eye.
What do you prefer,
lose an eye or the balls?
How did you think this was a good idea?
Be a funny memory.
Are bullshit.
- Do you have ammunition?
- A little.
Give them to me and I'll cover you.
You should cover my last time!
- That I did.
- Ran away, damn it!
- I was not defending the front.
- Yes?
You could defend there,
catching clothes, and return
Not going to let me shoot.
You're the one getting married!
Go together.
Go together.
- Ready?
- Si.
'll Edit it for the wedding.
I'll put music.
Le add some balls big as mine.
Here is Butch Cassidy!
Butch Cassidy.
What's the matter?
Relief Enjoying a good piss.
It feels so good, that sometimes
bids over the account, right?
It happens frequently.
Not that, friend.
It felt a little weird.
Like... If burned.
Did you use one of these?
'll Drink something while you try.
When you're ready.
Take your time.
I calmly taking the medicine, right?
Shut up!
Hey this.
Falls flowing again!
How does it feel?
As something sharp such as nettle.
Seriously, dude, I know what you mean.
You must have crabs.
Burns like hell.
Be strong.
No, burn.
Shit, yeah that burns!
We've all been so, man.
We've all been there.
"Sexual Health Clinic"
genital Herpes.
Is dangerous.
Very dangerous.
What are you complaining?
This waiting room is not like in my day.
You get in trouble putting
together all these...
sexual predators.
I think take a powder is the
last thing they are thinking.
F-638, please.
Yes, I forgot.
Here you are just a number.
- As in jail.
- Would you like to wait in the van?
The latter was not bad.
In fact, it was good,
pretty good.
I would give.
Is that what you came?
To pick up women in a sexual health clinic?
Is a place as any.
- In what fucking way? - First,
obviously enjoy love.
Is obvious.
Second, not all sick like you.
Almost all are clean,
with seal of approval.
The porn star, for example,
require regular checkups,
a general medical examination.
- And you ensure a clean copy.
- Exactly.
The latter looked clean.
Perhaps a vaginal infection,
but no big deal.
A vaginal infection.
Do you feel it?
- CF-3330, please
- What is it?
Beard and a bald head.
Must have genital warts,
a recurring event.
And there?
Gonorrhea and vaginal infection.
And they
Have a seat, please
This is easy.
They go together, right?
- We.
- Yes, but they are gays.
May think the same of us.
Even you're my boyfriend.
But I'm not gay.
may think that you have AIDS.
I'm not a fucking gay!
I was not talking about him.
I like the homosexuals.
- I'll wait in the van.
- Yes.
Remember have used this?
Then use this!
Now in easy to open packs
HIV What if it were you?
I just avoided pregnancy
Shows signs of infectious nodes.
I will prescribe some antibiotics.
Will results in a week.
The Silent Disease
Damage to testes and ovaries
You will not believe the day I've had
What are you doing?
Nothing, just...
- You look guilty.
- No.
Were you looking Porn?
And so? Something you did.
I realize.
Yes, I was watching porn, yes.
No I was jerking.
I do not care if you pajeas.
But do not lie.
Been drinking.
I told you I had a bad day.
Ask me what happened.
What happened?
First, Mark still pushing at me
the contract.
- Is an asshole.
- It's not.
Okay, it's not.
And second?
The DJ has two requests for
July 18.
Well, move the other
to another day.
He really is an idiot.
What did you say?
You do not want anything.
Be hard to find another
in such a short time.
We have a couple of months.
And he made me think...
That maybe...
We can compose a rap about our plans.
- No, no. - Is not it weird that
we have not thought before?
I have enough, avoiding lawsuits
in my family,
Jarvis not offend everyone and...
vegans do not eat the crap that can not
I will not do music too.
So music
have a real meaning for us.
You can do it for me.
- Yes And you can help..
- No.
You provide the music.
My contribution will be in the bedroom.
You can enjoy a preview.
Lydia, I...
Not in the mood.
But you just watching porn.
Yes, but...
Then show me.
Show me what you looked.
Please, I want to see.
- Do not you want to see that.
- Yes I do! Come on, please.
I can not.
Do not be shy.
We have already seen porn.
Seriously, I can not.
Do not like.
Era dwarf porn.
Dwarf Porn?
Yeah, like elves porn.
Are you serious?
I was curious.
Me sick.
Well, it was fun...
More than erotic!
- Damn idiot, Jarvis!
- Maybe you need another hand!
Is my fucking sandwich?
What eat for lunch?
- How many "C" is in "action"
- Two?
Not fit two.
Looks bad.
Who is dyslexic, you or me?
I got one.
Three letters, starts with "V",
ending in "H".
Sexually Transmitted Disease.
- VAH... VUH...
- Almost complete the panel?
Only missing a hand, Dave.
Need the van to bring yogurt to Scotland.
I will not be here. When finished,
Take the rest of the week.
And do what?
Become a straw.
Make two.
Moreover, what if
jack off each other?
I'm giving a couple of days
. They should thank me.
Will paid days, Dave?
No, Jarvis, thought
straw sponsor them shared.
Five per head.
What do you think?
Come, help unload.
How many "C" is in "action"?
- I'll help with yogurt.
- What?
I said I'll help with yogurt.
Removing lead paint?
I have a friend there.
- Where? The north of Scotland?
- Si.
Saving for your wedding.
Right, friend?
- There will be the normal pay.
- But cash, right?
Go on, then.
Then do not complain.
That only takes a couple of days.
What if I am not healed by then?
Chlamydia cured with a few pills.
Yes, but what if the test is positive?
Another thing.
Something seriously.
Not so.
Do not torment yourself.
In a few days we will laugh
all this.
And guests when
hear my best man speech.
Shut up, it's coming.
Thank you, baby.
Not have plans for this weekend.
I already made a commitment.
But bought meat and all.
I bought many things.
'll Help you with it if you want, Lydia.
Should have told me before.
- You say I'm guilty...
- It's not anyone's fault.
Can you come home at night?
'll Be miles away.
Dedicate myself to refuel.
- Can also help.
- Fuck you, Jarvis.
Not that not need the money.
Do you think it will make a difference?
What do you mean by that?
Gano much as you.
Yes, when you have work.
'm Going to smoke a cigarette,
she bores me.
Maybe you remember
or where we were a year ago.
In Edinburgh.
May you remember where
you proposed marriage.
Where was, as I scary shit.
- Stay this weekend.
- Disappointed many people.
Do decepcionaras?
No I said in that tone.
I'm afraid has contracted chlamydia.
I do not have AIDS?
Both HIV tests were negative.
- And hepatitis A, B, and C...?
- No. You have chlamydia.
That thought when I came last week...
I see you've been prescribed
a course of antibiotics.
Means I'm cured, right?
Well, have you followed the instructions?
Two a day, no sex.
Symptoms diminished?
Your penis feels as if cold?
How stuffy nose, sore throat?
My penis feels much better, thanks.
- Although we do not yet speak.
- Have a question?
Why not told me over the phone?
Keep politics.
That frightens patients.
Well, it helps us to put people back and...
can help the other party.
The carrier.
Well, actually it is not...
- Accessible.
- Through a friend, perhaps?
If I could, I would
believe me, Doctor.
See, chlamydia can be difficult to detect
in women.
I know, the silent disease.
I read on the Internet.
- It's good to show interest.
- It's not a hobby.
If he
contact with the carrier, as you call it,
would do us a great service,
her and us.
Hey, I'll be honest with you.
I had sex with a prostitute.
It was my first and only time and...
you know, was totally drunk.
I know it's no excuse, but...
I do not know what I do.
urinating strange things overnight as...
The radiator or closet once.
O on the computer.
When I wake up in the morning,
I remember nothing.
To find a puddle around the house.
Anyway, it was my bachelor party.
Just a brothel and...
You know, just hoping, because Jarvis...
Jarvis is my godfather.
He said there can be smoked.
Just remember.
- I'm surprised that I have stopped.
- In your file says you're single..
Does your girlfriend...?
That is, his fiancee,
you know about all this?
Do you plan to tell?
In his search Internet
did you read about the
different incubation periods?
Periods? What the...?
Incubation periods, the time
hidden disease testing.
Why say that?
You had unprotected sex with a sex worker.
At high risk of new infections are facing,
can not be detected immediately.
But I am cured.
For a test to be 100% conclusive
for diseases such
elapse a certain amount of time.
How long?
Some 90 days.
19 days?
90 days! Twelve weeks
if preferred.
I prefer the shorter.
90 days, 12 weeks, 3 months.
Three months.
- We will be married before that.
- I'm a dead man.
Stay positive.
Negative, stay negative.
Look, we will resolve this soon.
You and I...
Taking and thinking.
- Can not have sex with Lydia
for 3 months? - Lower your voice!
- What about oral sex?
- No!
With hand?
Jerk off with her tits?
Just curious, is all.
And condoms are not a solution...
After 6 years,
is like a confession.
So you just have
the "abstinacin".
- Abstinence!
- Whatever you call those rare.
We need to find out why they do it.
Or do not?
Is for religion.
By religion, I know.
You ask Lydia,
Do you want to avoid sex
for the wedding night...
something special?
Very deep you,
Jarvis, but forget...
I can not have sex or
my wedding night.
Do not know anyone who
"close the deal" on the wedding night.
I got this. Not in the mood
or pull a smile,
much less...
What about the honeymoon?
Do you also will be there?
I have a room?
I'm screwed!
Tan fucked!
Is stress!
You stressed!
Do not tell me?
Stress what makes you?
- Takes you to suicide?
- Yes, yes, I know.
And before that?
I dunno. Threats, self-injury,
attempted suicide.
- Impotence!
- Christ
Look, Lydia's sex drive
encourage her to try to cure me,
but impotence is a problem...
I do not got.
'd Better cut it.
No, no.
I do not mean cut it, but...
What are you
lock on the fly or something?
I add a few days, but 3 months.
I pour a cup of tea.
I know!
You put a piercing is infected and
all, as Wayne's nose.
Do you remember Wayne's nose?
Toast was put out.
Picture it in your nose.
"Oh, do not come near me."
I bet it would.
Bet that dirty accept treatment.
It's okay.
- Breaking your frenulum of the glans.
- What?
- Do not. The frenulum of the glans.
- I do not know what it is.
Jarvis, sit!
I will below the table.
Look, look, look.
Ah, that.
I met an old which broke in two.
It was fucking a fat,
leaning against a trash can and fell.
Had dick in a sling for months.
Cock in a sling?
Who is the guy?
How is it called? It's called...
I think it starts with "P" P....
Do you know him?
No, but the story is true.
And even if it were not,
the idea is very good.
We should consider it.
Chlamydia is like chickenpox.
If the fuck is normally
before 10 years.
With other diseases, large,
do not know anyone.
Do not walk around bragging.
Not a ban on transit.
What are the odds?
Well, he said Dr.
I had unprotected sex with a sex worker.
Yes, but once.
Likely 1,000 to 1, 100 to 1 maybe
People make infidelities.
99% do not what you've done.
I cleaned, researched,
a clean job.
Still, you feel guilty.
That is, it is something terrible.
Something very, very terrible.
What do you think?
Forget it.
Acts as if nothing had happened.
Turn that damn light.
- Are you awake?
- I'm asleep.
I'm sorry.
- What are you doing?
- Hello.
Kiss me.
No, I have to get up early.
I will fast.
Know that rapid scalding me, no.
- Is not it amazing?
- No...
centuries ago.
Go brush your teeth.
Go brush your teeth.
Inside the toilet, Kyle
In the toilet, Kyle
Are you sure you're gonna be okay?
- You sure.
- I can not!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Thank you.
Make Alfie go to the front.
You get dizzy in the back seat.
- Yes - Just like his uncle Kyle..
Come on, Alfie,
a race to the car.
You will be the co-pilot.
You good with Alfie.
Is a haven for pedophiles.
You always have to think the worst?
Yes, you have to be vigilant.
Look at that man.
Seems to be his father.
And you can not have so many children.
So go play with Alfie.
I do not want them to
think I'm a pedophile.
Are you so paranoid?
That shit happens!
Nothing bad words!
He can not speak.
But when you learn,
I do not want his first word is "shit."
Maybe better than "pedophile".
We shall not be well with our children.
Yeah, you know.
Let's take care of, right?
Was thinking... Maybe...
stopping the pill?
A pregnancy can take up to 2 years.
Look at Lee and Laura.
If luckily we did immediately,
will not be noticed before the wedding.
're Sweating.
I do not know, is the Jalfrezi.
That got me hot.
Announce it would be amazing wedding.
- Where's the waiter with my beer?
- Kyle?
Yes, it would be amazing, yes.
You're right.
Could take time.
We'll have fun trying.
I go to the bathroom.
Thank you.
I'm dying a cup of tea.
Do you want one?
Come on, shake me, Kyle!
What? What?
Kyle, my pussy is burning me.
I burning pussy!
Are you okay?
What did you do to me?
Not me.
- I think it was the Jalfrezi.
- It was your fucking hand.
I'm sorry.
Feels good.
Feels great.
Better than sex, huh?
I leave you alone.
- You say it was for you.
- Yes, I will admit guilt.
I'm sorry.
Hope you do not get
so late on your big day.
I'm sorry.
I will love you, I comfort you,
honor and protect you and
I'll be true as life has.
- Here comes the part of the vote...
- Now step rings.
- Wait.
- Sorry, do not want to ruin anything, is all.
Sorry to interrupt.
- I assume you are the future
Mr. White.? - That's right.
I think so.
I understand that there
is a small problem...
With the DJ. Already
was solved?
My future husband will take care of that.
Great, great. And...
- Do you know how come vegans?
- Vegans?
- There will be four.
- Four very well.
- Duncan. - Hi.
- Sorry. I'm the godfather.
Can I apply a video projector?
- Clear.
- You can not show that!
- You know how long it took me to edit?
- Jarvis, my grandparents come.
There will be kids there!
Honestly do not see anything.
Only pubis blurred.
- Talk about that later.
- Sorry for the interruption.
No we decided on the flowers.
No problem.
If you are visiting this weekend,
room will be decorated
with lilies, Saturday,
orchids and Sunday.
Sounds good.
Right, Kyle?
This Weekend?
I can not.
'll Go fishing and Jarvis.
Sport Fishing.
- Fishing is our hobby.
- It will be only for men.
Work together five days a week.
When you are married,
will be all yours.
- As long as you...
- I'm pressuring,
but I have a husband to look after,
could we?
- I'll see you this weekend.
- Of course.
Thank you.
I appeal to those present,
a witness that I, Lydia...
- Ah, love! Are you okay?
- Lydia.
No, really, I'm fine.
Do you know?
Rather have a hamster...
nipping the frenulum of the glans
to spend the weekend
sitting by a lake...
In a fucking fish!
Better get used to it,
because I will be doing many times.
Lydia already suspected
my new interest in politics late at night.
And I can not keep "helping"
every night with the speech,
even if you're dyslexic.
I guess things are good
- What?
- Nothing.
What did you say?
- You said I was dyslexic.
- You are!
- And you're good contagindote
things. - Yeah, well...
It would not have happened...
godfather if my course I
had not been to a brothel.
- And you wanted.
- I was drunk!
- Me too!
- I supposed you'd take care!
You could not do a worse job!
Look, Kyle, sorry.
Kyle, mate, sorry!
Are you at home.
I'm asleep.
Where is Jarvis?
I know you're somewhere, Jarvis!
Out, come out, wherever you are!
What's the matter?
How do I look?
- I'm supposed to look sexy.
That told me. - Who?
're Jealous.
Drink some more and come to bed.
Have no right to be jealous
, Kyle White.
I'm yours and I do not even want.
I love you, Lydia.
Do not tell me.
Prove it.
Fuck me or do something, please!
I'm sorry.
You better.
- Why do you make me feel this way?
- Not you.
- I swear.
- So what?
- Preguntas?
- No!
- Because I do.
- What?
I said.
I have doubts.
And you know what?
I'm glad I said.
It's bad enough that I do not touch
. I do not even talk.
Can we talk, baby, still do.
Let's Talk!
Tell me you do not have doubts.
I'm sure!
But you doubt.
I think is normal.
Healthy, maybe.
Is a very serious decision.
Give up everything. And that of...
A cock, a pussy, forever.
Do you think that someday
you might feel tempted?
- Never.
- We are human.
Y makes mistakes.
- Yes, I know, but... - Look how many
divorces and infidelities, anywhere.
I think so, yes.
Do you think you can be unfaithful
still being very much in love?
I do not know.
You've been unfaithful?
I can not lie to that face.
Sure you can.
Just rehearse.
You have been unfaithful?
- I've never cheated.
- You blew it again.
Never repeat the question.
You can tell you're lying because
Have you been unfaithful?
No, I've never cheated.
I would never do. I love you...
It was fatal!
Do not feel compelled to fill the silence.
Envulvenos Only.
You've been unfaithful?
All right.
feel safe returning the question.
Ask me again.
You've been unfaithful?
I swear...
for the health and welfare...
all those who appreciate,
I have never cheated.
- It was OK, right?
- I thought.
You have to be spontaneous,
speak from the heart.
I'll give a little
imagination, be creative.
Do you understand?
You tricked me?
I swear, for our unborn children
I have never cheated.
I'll get a glass of water.
It's okay.
Did you ever consider a gas grill, Kyle?
coal are more efficient. Right, son?
Yes, they are very good.
Calls on your wedding list.
- Are expensive, right?
- I do not know.
Anyone can afford.
Kyle? Would you show your van
Says you killed a rhino with her.
I did not say that.
I said I could do it.
- Are you telling him shit!
- Exactly.
Were in the petting zoo.
He got scared with the large animals.
The van is falling apart.
Do not kill even a cow,
less a fucking rhino.
- What would you have said?
It depends on what you tell him.
The rhino was white or black?
What does that matter?
Can not kill one black.
If I remember correctly,
are the species most endangered.
No, not that.
Is racist. Racist.
Hey, Alfie!
Already they decided with flowers?
Yes, Mom and I chose lilies.
- Still the same beautician.
- Yes!
When men go to the last
appointment with the tailor?
Are on the calendar.
My outfit was not me
the day of my wedding.
No, honey, I left much fat
before the wedding.
Was that.
Seems that Kyle has lost weight.
Is stress, for sure!
Do not know how it is, folks!
Yes, it's true.
You must stand in front of all those people
Say wise things about the
joy of being married,
and then go to the master suite, where
expect the performance of your life.
That does not take away my sleep.
I alone.
'll Go check on the boys.
So a person thinks a verb,
and the others try to guess
asking questions.
But the question must replace
verb for the word "tea".
- Tea? - With that word you
substitute the verb in the sentence.
Better play poker?
God, Michael!
It will be fun!
A small demonstration, right?
'm Thinking of a verb.
Questions should be me.
And if they are wrong,
must have a drink.
We are no longer in school.
I start.
Thou "tetereas" every day?
- Yes, I "tetereo" every day.
- Like "teterear"?
Yes, I love "teterear".
The verb should be conjugated.
- You "tetereas" alone?
- Good question!
Yes, I "tetereo" alone.
Do you have a question, Mic?
Yeah yeah.
I have a.
- Where do you keep the "teapot"?
- Drink!
Maybe I did not explained me well.
The word is a verb.
- Better leave him out.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Forget swallow.
- No, no. Okay, okay.
I have another question.
The "teapot", what color is it?
Is a verb, dad,
as eating or walking.
- Cagada
- That's a noun!
No, okay. "She shits"!
"She shits" is a verb.
He does it every day.
Solito, enjoy it.
I have a question, Roger.
Do you read the newspaper...?
While you have a "teapot"?
Ha! Bravo! Well done, Michael!
I understand, you see? Well done.
The verb is read.
- I'm good at this. Who's next?
- Yo!
When "teterea" people?
"Tetereas" at any time, night or day.
How long does a "tetereo"?
Can last a few hours or more.
What feels "teterear"?
Depends, can be good or
bad, until satisfactory.
But it can be boring.
Almost always, is a natural act.
Do you have to learn to "teterear"?
Yeah yeah.
I'll give you a hint.
You taught me everything I know about
You and Kyle "teterean" together?
Not recently.
In fact, we have no "tetereado"
in a while.
- Like "teterear"?
- I love "teterear".
I love.
Hopefully "tetereramos"
more often.
Do men think more
"teterear" than women?
Men think it every 3 seconds?
I think some do.
I think I got it!
That's the verb, right?
No, it's not fucking.
Honey, it's getting late.
You should go home.
Me back with you.
What did you say, honey?
I have a meeting in the morning.
I have to get up early.
- 'll Walk from home.
- I thought you said.
No problem, Mom and Dad?
- Both are always welcome!
- Kyle has to work.
Just pick a few things.
What is this meeting?
- You left them alone again.
- Yes, I left.
You leave me alone.
- Voice down.
- Is that what this is about?
Do not make me mourn.
Kyle We're leaving, love
Go and Tend.
Send them away, please!
Go and Tend, seriously!
'll Call you tomorrow.
The word was "fish", right?
Hi, this is Lydia. . Thanks for calling
Leave your name and number
I will answer as soon as I can
Thanks, bye ..
Where are you, motherfucker?
I'm going to kill myself.
- Kyle
- I hate myself?
I hate you more if you commit suicide.
Lydia sent me a text saying he needs time.
Listen, friend
Sarah, Amy, Leanne.
All said the same shit.
But they all left.
Suicide is not the answer,
Is a permanent solution
to a temporary problem.
- AIDS is a continuing problem.
- You do not have AIDS
I feel as if I did.
Everyone says I've lost weight, and...
I'm cold since went fishing.
Kyle, you can overcome it.
Why? That is,
life ends in total disaster,
Prison, divorce,
suicide, homelessness...
Look at your family.
Do not do personal friend.
- Seriously, can not stand feeling this way.
- Okay, I'm coming.
Fucking wanker!
- What?
- No, not you, friend.
Are you okay?
'm A wanker.
I pajear eternally
now I have AIDS.
'm A horrible fag.
Look, I can not talk now,
friend Kyle.
Are you peeing?
Jarvis, are you there?
You tell me why I sent stop.
Belt, mobile phone, return "U".
I see no belt.
No, but I'm very honest.
So you must believe me when I tell you...
I lead an exceptional hurry.
I do not care if it's life or death.
- It is.
- Do not be funny.
No, I'm serious.
My friend is going to commit suicide.
What friend is that?
With the speaker phone.
You can talk to him if you want.
- If me you're kidding...
- Jarvis, are you there
Hello, this is Officer Walker?
Who is this, please?
- What the fuck?
- I think he's taken.
Again, your name, please.
Who fucked you?
Kyle, do not be a moron!
Kyle Walker says the official.
Your friend Mr....
Mr. Jarvis argues in its defense
a litany of traffic violations,
you is about to commit suicide..
Is that correct?
- I said I was thinking.
- Fuck me, Kyle!
You just say you're going to kill yourself!
It's okay.
Then I'll kill myself!
Kyle, calm down!
As a police officer, my duty is to take
that threat...
Threat against a person, including yourself
is a criminal offense.
Have fun dragging my carcass to court.
Where you are, please?
Do you have a pen, officer?
I Get that up your ass!
- Your address, please.
- 61 Maple Avenue.
- Cursed snitch, Jarvis!
- Do not hang up.
Are you satisfied, Jarvis?
It's all your damn fault!
Sorry, Kyle.
Suicide in Progress .
Answer the damn phone!
Where the hell are you?
Kyle, no, no!
Fuck no!
Cursed criminal!
You're the criminal.
I almost arrested for you!
I should kill you!
- I love you, man!
- I love you, man.
Do not ever do this again.
Who uses that purple dildo?
Let's finish this...
Prostitute three months.
What if you postpone the wedding?
Any idea what it costs Wedding?
It's amazing that we did not think before.
Because it is more painful than
break the frenulum of the glans.
Is it more painful to lose
life or a couple of fingers?
- Who said anything about fingers?
- Toast the wedding.
Come to my office.
That will give me tetanus!
Are you worried about tetanus?
Thought you had AIDS.
Total, has no edge.
- I do not mind waiting.
- Do I have to wait?
You can not do it alone.
No good.
Total, you sew
fingers in a heartbeat.
- You will leave in a couple of days.
- I will not cut your hands!
Fagot coward!
Can not be something less
severe, as an overdose?
That looks like a suicide. The only
more fag, suicide
is a suicide attempt.
If you look closely,
is a declaration of love.
What if I make a tattoo?
I do not want to bleed to death.
Do not bleed to death.
Only you are going to faint.
O you will fall into a coma.
A comma sounds good.
A coma.
How do you induce a coma?
Certainly are not alone.
The world is full of desperate wretches.
Dreaming into a coma to
escape the misery...
Yes, but how is it done?
Risky Luce.
A thin line between...
coma death.
Click on this.
Pajate into a coma.
That I'm not going to help.
Fucking Internet.
I just need something to get
me out of circulation...
for a few weeks.
Something that does not kill you,
Doctors and that fixed easily.
Can burn.
Skin grafts taken forever.
Do you remember Neil?
- In the accident with artificial fires
? - Ah, yes.
Took pieces of ass...
and stuck them in the face.
Neil "ass face".
- That was unfair.
- It was! A face fucking ass!
It became traumatized.
You are sick in the head.
Can burn, it tonight.
We use fire.
A good burned with fire!
Use gas heater.
Does not matter. You burn...
With boiling water.
If we do not fire, boiling water
miss you.
All right.
You're cooking.
- What? - You're cooking.
- Yes, cooking what?
Pasta, potatoes, whatever.
All right.
You took a few shots,
you bend over to pick something up,
bump into the handle of the pan...
and the water is spilled
you in the head.
No, anywhere but the head.
- Then on your back.
- Yes
Kyle "Back of ass"..
Listen, I'll wait in the other room.
And when you hear...
I'll call...
Do you really want to?
Have to.
Must be another way.
There is not.
Lydia only knew how much you loved her.
Better not put this in your speech.
I do not wear it.
I do not wear it.
Kyle! Wait, wait!
It occurred to me something good!
Check this out! We can not make
exams before the wedding,
because 10 weeks is not enough.
What if we look at it?
To whom?
A sex worker with whom you
had unprotected intercourse.
Stop describe it well.
No, if examined and cleaned out,
means that you are clean.
Do not be a contamination
AIDS from someone who does not.
Look at me.
back to the brothel,
find the carrier,
and we do an AIDS test.
How do we find the place?
To whom?
Tourist Information
do not guide to brothels.
We cross our path.
Easier said than I do.
We had a few drinks in the hotel bar.
Then we went to a pub.
A cheap place.
A few more drinks.
I know.
We went to the Internet and look
massage parlors in Newcastle.
We search Google.
That will be a big hassle.
"Newcastle brothel".
I did wrong.
That's it.
El Santuario... Bubbles...
"Foxy Break Knights".
I like it as it sounds.
- It will take an eternity.
- We can not, take a virtual tour...
from brothels.
Visit our oasis of mad passion."
Lower your voice!
Experienced ladies that will
fulfill all your cravings.
Shut up!
Look at the photos.
Was she blonde or brunette?
It was not blonde.
What do you remember accurately?
Was pretty... Robusta.
- Gorda.
- No, like... voluptuous.
- I think he had a tattoo.
- A big tattoo.
We have two blondes, too skinny.
We write down the address and explored.
Do you have a pen?
Not Here in the van.
It's okay.
Where is the printer?
You can not print that!
Someone is printing?
You a complete idiot!
Someone is printing?
Then say something.
- I have someone document.
- Say something, damn it!
Is printing a document.
- Is someone?
- Yes!
Are two sailing
pounds and 25 per page.
Are one, two...
2.50, here. My change...
They closed at Foxy's about 3 months ago.
- All right.
- This is better. - Yes
- What is Sanctuary?
- Jarvis!
- This is The Sanctuary.
- Maybe it's cute inside.
- Then I'll tell you.
- What do you mean?
- I'm not going with you?
- Not required.
No... It's for your safety.
You will not go alone.
No. 5 for Sanctuary.
Do you have a reservation?
No, no reserve.
- Sue?
- Yes
Not have reservation.
Does not matter, let them in
All right, guys?
Had they come earlier?
Perhaps yes.
Do you want a drink while you wait?
- No thanks.
- I'd kill for a cup of tea.
Somebody turn on the kettle!
Girls come soon.
- Are you sure it was not her?
- No.
- Hi, my name is Magali.
- Hello, Magali.
- My name is Victoria.
- Victoria.
Hi, my name is Aura.
Do you see something you like?
Put out that cigarette!
We operate in a smoke free environment.
I see.
For which decided?
Gives us a minute?
To confer.
Come on, girls.
- This is not the place.
- What are you talking about?
You could smoke.
I remember.
Well, elimination.
We progressed a little.
We progressed,
but what the hell do we do now?
- What are you talking about?
- How do we get out?
Not believe that suddenly
do not want sex.
Say that the van is parked wrong.
They let you out at the same time.
I will say that I forgot my wallet.
What about me?
- I see.
- What?
I get it.
- I get it.
- What are you complaining about?
No, okay.
Do not worry.
No, if necessary,
I sacrifice for both.
Okay, guys.
Have you already decided?
All are beautiful and...
I'm going with the No. 1
Magali, Magalin,
Mogli, Magli, how is it?
And for your friend?
No, no.
He is only going to pay.
You can take my tea.
Hello, Magali.
bought the painting of cats?
Thank you very much.
A mint?
The things I do for you.
- No need to thank me.
- It cost me 80 pounds.
If not for me, both be there.
How noble of you.
You sacrificed, right?
- Only talk.
- Yes? Lie!
No payment for the passes you talking...
each establishment we visit.
Are not you glad that only one visit is?
Magali told me...
there is only one open late brothel...
- Hungry boyfriends for sex.
- What?
Want to know?
Do not be silly.
- I'm sorry.
- Why?
- I dunno.
- Why use me?
Do you have any idea how dirty I feel?
You said you just spoke.
And it was.
- Turn off the light.
- Okay.
This way, gentlemen.
Make sure your friend does not vomit.
Do not worry.
- Anything to drink?
- Beer, please.
Do you mind if I smoke?
As long as it's not crack.
Is here.
This is the place!
Are you sure it was not her?
Hi. I'm Miranda.
Hi. My name is Roxy.
Hello dolls.
I'm Crystal.
Yes sure.
Good night.
My name is Monica.
Can not be.
Not any of them.
Would you sacrifice me again?
- Want to take another look?
- No, not any of them.
Has to be more.
Maybe he's on vacation.
O is sick.
In particular, if you have...
Sorry, pal.
You walk alone?
My partner is up losing virginity.
Hello dolls.
Have you already decided?
Can we wait for
the one with your friend?
It's okay.
Melanie, honey!
Hasten the ass, will you?
- Well, gentlemen, I'm Melanie.
- Melanie.
A second.
Can I see you back, please?
I think I've seen.
Been here a few weeks ago.
- Do you remember me?
- I do not remember them all, but...
You're hard to forget.
Can we...
go upstairs?
If necessary.
60 per half hour, 100 for one. Use
uniforms, make characters,
is extra.
I think it will only take me half an hour.
I will below. When I return, I love you
naked and in bed.
The bathrooms are down the hall.
- I satisfy the desire of patience.
- Yes, I know...
Maybe we can just...
You look nervous.
Let me give you a massage.
Can I put me jeans?
If the pants are dirty...
No, of course not!
Believe me, I've seen around here.
- No, they are clean, I swear.
- Let me see. Let me see!
Well, now lie.
Try to relax.
- Not here to give me a massage.
- It is to get fit.
- I did not mean that.
- Try to relax!
The number of knots is not normal.
I'm a little stressed.
For a final display?
I'm getting married.
want to marry,
I can not.
Why not?
Because I'm sick.
You're not sick.
Just male needs.
I am sick.
I'm dying.
maybe I'm dying.
Can you do a review of AIDS
When I was here I was
infected with chlamydia.
I thought if you were taking and returning
could have sex again with my fiancee
And save my wedding!
I retract,
I have not seen everything.
For starters, I do not have chlamydia.
They call
silent disease and symptoms can be latent.
Thank you, doctor.
I already know.
I check regularly, because
I act in films.
Sales in all these!
Do not remember anything, right?
Honey... We had sex.
- What?
- You could not.
Mean... What I did not want?
No, yes you wanted.
But you could not, even if I tried.
It was like trying to get jelly.
I left only with DVDs and
penis ring. When I returned, you were...
making improper use of the site.
Remember I peed in the shower?
Then we had sex?
That's good, right?
Is clear. If I was not
cheating, I can not have...
But if...
What the...
Who else you slept?
I add some balls huge as mine
- Come, let us go.
- Wait, friend.
- We're going. Now!
- Is everything okay?
No, nothing is right!
Does not she...?
Do not the test be done?
- Do not tell me you have HIV.
- Worst.
- Already developed the disease?
- Worst!
What is worse than the fucking
have developed AIDS?
Lydia was unfaithful.
I do not understand.
I did not have sex. I'm not unfaithful.
Will not stop me.
- I thought you said...
- No, it does not matter.
What matters...
I do not got it from chlamydia here.
It was at home.
At least, I understand how you feel.
And you're right to feel
hurt, angry,
- betrayed...
- Quiet.
're In a massage parlor.
- I did nothing.
- But you tried.
But I did not.
If it makes you feel better,
go up and we get hand.
Is a great idea.
No thanks. Step.
No, take them with both.
A real revenge.
If I'm up to the circumstances...
Prefer to remain innocent in all this.
This is unbelievable.
I'll get even.
Do not know yet, but I will.
And if you try to forgive?
I can not.
I have this image in my mind,
returning and returns.
A picture of what?
his girlfriend having sex with another?
- Yes, of course.
- Who do you think is?
May be several people.
- Anda from bed to bed?
- No!
Mean, someone
among several people.
- Maybe they gang raped.
- Many girls decide to have fun...
before the big day.
- Maybe having an affair.
- Then do not love me, right?
- Do not be stupid.
Are you saying that men
can trick the woman they love,
but not women?
So maybe not the master.
Of course you love her.
Would you have gone through all this
if not loved?
Seriously, girls,
the things that happened...
to not give you an STD.
All Prince Charming.
And Lydia?
She infected me, is not it?
May not know they have it.
The Silent Disease.
Remember, doctor?
You'll have to tell him.
I'd pay to speak.
I'll tell you.
Do not worry.
I do not think it's a good idea.
If the test is not done,
can ruin your fertility.
I know Lydia. Want to have children
with whom you are sleeping.
- Can you send a text or something?
- What?
And give you the opportunity
to make up an excuse?
Your Parents need to know why
the wedding is canceled.
Do your parents?
No, they do not.
Kyle, man!
Think about it.
- Want to marry her.
- Wanted.
Until I knew someone
his cock buried him sick.
That spoiled my plans a little.
- Not the car of your parents?
- Yes
I want to do this once.
Hey, wait!
I will not let you do this!
- Listen to...
- Yes, but this time I have reason!
Hey, do not.
For Me!
Hey, did I,
a certified dyslexic,
write my best man speech at all.
Save it for my upcoming wedding.
Yes, but listen!
What paintball video?
I took forever editing.
- Put it on the fucking Internet.
- Kyle, no!
What is this about?
We were not expecting.
Do not just stand there, Kyle.
Come inside.
Hello, love.
How are you?
Waited in the door as Jehovah's Witnesses.
- How you make us go through this?
- No problem.
It is, if you already were going to dinner.
Anne made a casserole and there are
more than enough, is not it, honey?
Freeze planned for Mom.
Did not get to eat in the geriatric?
do not want to cause problems.
It's no problem.
In addition, we are already family, right?
Drink to that!
And what do we owe the honor?
There is something
important I want to tell.
- Come in.
- Lydia must be present.
- Is she here?
- Go there. Lydia!
I'm on the phone
I will not say anything until she drops.
Ah, I see.
No, dad, you do not.
- Yes, son, of course.
- No, Dad. I tell you no.
Security fetched
champagne to make the announcement.
It Cool!
- Let's start.
- This looks delicious.
- Kyle.
- I feel nauseous.
- Kyle!
- You had a bad night?
Do not look good at all.
Is women who
ill with this, are you, Roger?
- Sorry to take me much.
- Here she is.
Do not kiss me.
Not feeling well, poor thing.
- It's OK.
- Hi, honey.
Could you pass wine please Mic?
Are you sure?
So health!
So you feel good, Lydia?
- Yes, I'm fine.
- No complaint?
Not at all.
- No symptoms?
- Symptoms?
Yes, like a rash or swelling.
Painful urination stuff.
That's news to me.
No, I'm fine.
- It's delicious, Anne.
- I'll pass the recipe.
Anne is a very good cook.
I'm glad you feel good.
I would not wish my illness
You know what, Kyle? If you do not
feel well, you should go to bed,
Have you seen a doctor?
In fact, I did.
You were with who have acne.
Dr. Clifford.
No, I saw a specialist.
A specialist?
In what area?
- Genitourinary Medical...
- is not a topic for dinner.
Genitourinary, Dad.
A doctor cock.
We're eating.
Yes! And I'm telling you about my visit...
the doctor cocks.
- Kyle.
I went to the clinic and
had to show my cock.
The nurse examined me
looking warts, lesions, fluids.
Kyle, please!
Then used a giant pipe cleaners,
stuffed it in my cock,
dirty and sent for analysis swab.
- What's wrong?
- And guess what.
I have a sexually transmitted disease.
And I thought I was pregnant.
I do not talk about that
in front of my parents.
They have every right to know...
Why wedding is canceled.
- What?
Can not cancel the wedding!
I can and I will.
Y on very solid foundations.
But paid deposits!
Not fair to lose money.
Kyle did nothing wrong.
- I did not do anything wrong.
- Hit me chlamydia!
- That's impossible!
- The proof exams!
There must be a mistake.
My tearful cock
thinks otherwise!
Must sorry infected someone else.
Yes, of course, how easy.
Blame me, attack me.
There must be an explanation
logic. I mean...
Do not know if you know, Kyle, but...
infections can remain like this...
dormant in the body.
Very good point, Roger, and...
a couple of months ago, no,
did not know.
But it can not be
dormant for 6 years.
Is the time I've been in a...
monogamous relationship.
Do these things do not normally
get to sit on dirty toilets?
Only if you use it as a big hole
pleasure, Anne.
- Then I'll explain.
- Wait a minute.
Dress Dr.
Cock a couple of months ago.
Two months.
Not what you had not said anything?
Well I do not...
Two months is enough time to...
keep quiet and I believe
VD, Kyle.
- I wanted to be sure.
- Sure of what?
That you were the...
Carrier. Wait a minute,
if you knew you had it,
must have been sure that I too.
Unless someone has caught you.
Is that, right?
You were not sure it was me, right?
Not 100%.
The deposit went to shit.
See. Can you ask him who will
- Stop repeating each question!
- Whose side are you, Mom?
That depends on how you respond.
Answer the jod...!
Doomed question.
Okay, I'll answer.
We celebrated my bachelor party.
We went to a massage parlor,
but I did nothing!
You expect me to believe that?
It's true.
- Not true, son.
- It's the damn truth, Dad!
Control your language.
Just want to say,
for me, paying for sex with prostitutes is
Leave the damn drama, woman!
'm Just saying...
not rape if...
Well, if it is consensual
sex between two adults,
You know.
It's what I'm saying.
I'm not a rapist, Anne.
Because I could not.
Should know that
was so drunk, I could not even...
- Satisfied?
- Overwhelmed, love.
I mean, believe me
I believe you, son.
Stephen Hawkings has more
activity down there,
when I'm drunk.
Right, Roger?
I usually do not get to be so drunk.
I would not say that, honey.
Not much to
round you fall in bed.
Easier vomit on the bed, making love.
I think you understand, darling.
not understand that no matter what you are
stop with a prostitute.
No, I think it does not matter.
But at least test
that contagiaste me.
Will you tell us how?
This is the case of immaculate infection?
Well, there may be something.
- Really? Adelante!
- Not in front of my parents.
Our parents think I'm impotent rapist.
Is fair to listen your version.
- I've heard enough.
- I.
- I have not finished eating.
- I'm staying. - Yes.
Judge for yourself, Dad.
A while back,
a girl from work
gave a party at his house.
A lingerie party.
I remember...
I bought...
bodice... - Yes, yes, I remember.
Not only sell lingerie.
Also accessories for the bedroom.
- Electric blankets and stuff.
- No, dildos, anal beads.
Well, I've heard enough.
Michael, would you accompany
me to study for a whiskey?
Finish this and I'll be there.
It's okay.
The girls had drunk a little,
including me and...
started... You know,
to prove things.
Yes, things
passed from hand to hand, the exchanged.
It seems that one of the
girls had something.
The big purple dildo?
Yes, there wine.
You're telling me...
tricked me with a dildo?
If you call that cheating, yes.
Do you swear it's true?
Swear by the health and welfare of all
those who appreciate...
that's the truth.
What did you say?
I said I swear by the health and
welfare of all those to appreciation,
That's the truth.
Kyle, where are you going?