B*A*P*S (BAPS) (1997) Movie Script

All right, y'all, you're jammin' with Dr. D...
on the number one station in Decatur,
I want to see y'all down at my club...
the Gold Tooth...
the place to be on Saturday night
with Dr. D.
Coming up next, we're going to give you...
the 411 from MTV vj Idalis,
so stay where you're at.
Why did you have to burn my toast, baby?
Now, you know you said
you wanted everything well-done.
And you know I didn't.
All right there, Nate.
Girl, don't pay him no mind.
He think he dolomite.
What's good on the menu?
There you go, Nate.
Just the way you like it.
Hey, Georgia, this is Idalis from MTV...
with a hot tip from you Southern gals.
Heavy D is looking for one special girl
who can dance...
has a great spirit, and loves to travel...
to be the video dance girl of the world
for his new video.
And get this, the lucky winner gets
$10,000 in cash.
You heard that right.
Auditions are this week in L. A...
So get a pen and paper...
You're daydreaming again.
No, no, no, I was taking their order.
Uh-uh. It's my second time
I done told you.
I'm taking $10 out of your doggone pay.
Ohh, Mr. Johnson!
I don't want to hear nothing, Nisi.
Not another word, another phrase,
another syllable.
Hey! Shut up!
I'm the captain of this doggone ship.
If it's too hot in the kitchen, Nisi, leave.
If the shoe fit, wear it.
If it too tight, take it off!
I can't believe Ali and James
stand us up again.
I'm through with them, girl.
Now, you see what I mean?
I ain't got nothing to lose.
What you mean you ain't got
nothing to lose?
You talking about
using all the money we have...
to go to some audition in California.
Nisi, you ain't even a dancer.
I am a dancer,
and I'll be dancin' my butt off...
for some $10,000.
Now, if I get this job, Mick...
we're going to have
more than enough money...
for the salon and the restaurant.
You ain't using our life savings...
to go to California on
some maybe mission.
Your life is right here.
We don't deserve this.
We deserve the best.
That's why you got me.
And you... You got me.
Aw, come on, baby, I'm sorry I'm late...
but, you know, sometimes
businessmen stuff can't wait.
Well, you can just keep your '"Sorry'"...
because you're a sorry excuse
for a boyfriend.
Hold on, hold on, hold on now.
You ain't know why we late, girl.
I don't know that y'all couldn't show up
here on time...
to walk us home from work.
We've been checking out
this classic 1935 Ford...
Eric's grandfather's selling.
That's right, and he's gonna sell it to us...
half the price.
If he was giving it away,
it still wouldn't matter.
Y'all ain't got no jobs.
We've been thinking about
putting applications in...
for the last month, baby...
but, you know,
the buses don't run everywhere.
But, look here, we're gonna buy the car...
and we're gonna start our own...
page-a-cab luxury cab company.
Oh, no. Come on, Mick.
Hey, come on, come on.
Nisi, why you act like that?
Ali, I guess I'm tired...
of hearing about all your pipe dreams.
If you really cared about me...
you would get rid of that tired perm...
I've been telling you about forever.
Oh, I don't cut my hair!
I ain't cutting the hair, no.
If anything, I'm gonna bring
the perm back.
I was so mad, I just walked out.
And he said that was his cousin?
That's what he said.
Bopping around here with that
cracked up perm he got.
You know he's wrong.
Girl, why won't he let you cut his hair?
I don't know. I've been trying forever.
Now, I'm a hairdresser, right?
And my man walking around here...
Iooking like a broke-down Superfly.
No. No, Superfly's little brother.
Right, right. Superflea.
- Ow! - Be still then!
Shoot, you said you wanted
these pompoms, so you got 'em.
Girl, we need to move on...
and we need to get us some new jobs.
Hey, what's up, kids?
Idalis kickin' it MTV style.
Listen, y'all, I got the inside scoop...
on the biggest video audition
to hit the airwaves...
since the artist formerly
known as Prince...
was looking for that special girl
for his video...
The Most Beautiful Girl in the World.
Remember that?
Well, Heavy D is doing
a unique video himself.
He's going to be shooting this video
all over the world...
in beautiful, exotic places
like Brazil and Italy.
He's looking for that oh, so special girl...
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Go back.
A great body, a great smile...
and that twinkle in her eye.
He's looking for...
- Look! - Huh?
So, that's the same audition!
I think it's a sign from God.
My mama always told me
good things come in 3.
I heard it on the radio,
now read it in a magazine...
and now it's on TV!
This is it, Mick!
Nisi, you buggin'.
But what if I ain't?
Come on, Mick. Let's go to L.A.
Let's do it.
Hell, yeah...
'cause there ain't nothing
but some fine young rich men in L.A.
I feel like partying right now. Come on.
Partying? We've got to try to
save every penny now.
Uh-uh. It's Tuesday night.
You know what that means.
Ladies night at the Gold Tooth.
We get in free!
Go, go. Git it, git it.
Go, go. Git it, git it.
I want everyone to have their I.D.s. Ready.
It's just so ridiculous.
Everybody in here want to be a player,
pimp, hustler.
Not me.
I just want a simple woman.
That's you. I'm telling you it's you.
Oh, really?
You're very special to me.
You see, I never met nobody like you
before in my life.
Your name is etched in my heart.
Shakima, right?
I went to school with her.
All right, step forward.
Ooh, damn!
Fine and vivacious and beautiful.
Y'all look gooda-than-a-mug!
That's what he's trying to say.
Thank you.
Nisi, ain't you thirsty?
Yeah, let me get 4 hurricanes, bro.
Ooh, now, y'all look good
not like these hootchy girls.
Y'all got class.
Like waitresses or something.
That'll be $16 even.
Hell, no. Let's go. I ain't thirsty.
Come on, let's go to the bathroom.
Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute.
Hold it... hold it, girl.
Now, look, it was ladies night, right?
Y'all didn't have to pay to get in.
Y'all could have bought our drinks.
Uh, not in this life.
Now, hold on.
I ain't finished talking to you.
Will you let go of her arm?
You ain't her damn daddy.
Shut your ass up, you playa-hatin' heifer.
Get off me.
Hey, what you... what did I do?
Oh, what you gonna do,
captain save-a-ho? Humm?
Oh, no, it's on now, brother.
Get on up!
I'll knock your ass back down again.
Come on, here.
I swallowed my gold tooth!
Coming through here.
Ladies, ladies, ladies.
Hey, my man...
let me hear 4 of them hurricanes, partner.
Oh, he good for it. They good for it.
That'll be $16 even.
Oh, hell, no! Come on, Mick.
Come on, it's ladies night!
- Nisi! - Y'all got in free.
What's your problem?
Why you treating me like some stepchild?
Because I deserve better than this, Ali.
Don't you think I know that, baby?
I'm a businessman.
I'm trying to make things happen.
You've been trying to
make things happen forever now.
You can't even keep a job.
I want a real man...
a man with ambition, goals, real dreams.
I got dreams.
What you think my page-a-cab
luxury cab service is?
You ain't even got a driver's license.
Like your dreams are just wired
for sound...
and ready to roll, right?
Owning a hair salon.
That's you and Mickey's problem.
You need to get a grip on life.
I ain't never heard somebody
owning a restaurant...
with a hair salon in back.
What kind of bullshit is that?
Oh... all right.
Well, that's gonna happen.
You'll see.
Nisi, Nisi, Nisi...
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Come on, baby.
They're playing our song.
Used to be our song.
Nisi, do you think you overdid it
with our hair?
Mm-mmm. Nope.
I sure don't because
we're going to Beverly Hills.
Now, if I'm going to do good
at that audition...
we've got to look like stars.
- Nisi! - What, girl?
Can't you see I'm trying to read up
on our manners?
I know, but we're going to need
more than manners...
because right here it says...
that the rich and famous people
hang out at the Polo Lounge.
- So?! Oh, shit.
We don't know nothin' about playing
no damn polo.
Then look up in the book...
and see if you can find
a basketball lounge.
- Yeah! - Yeah!
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
Our in-flight movie is about to begin.
Please lower your shade
if you're sitting next to a window.
Thank you.
- Where my thing at?
- Hey, I can't see.
What's going on?
What's blocking the screen?
- I paid money to see this.
- I can't see!
Please, can I have another seat?
I'll pay you any amount of money.
I'm sorry. The flight is all booked up.
Aw, fuck!
Ladies, would you mind
lowering your hair?
No problem.
It's beautiful.
Maybe you overdid it just a little bit.
Maybe I did, huh?
Can I get my money back
for these headphones?
Oh, there, there. That's much better.
The white zone is for
the immediate loading and unloading...
Oh, shit, lady, look!
Nis, look!
- LL! LL! - LL! LL!
Damn! Lady love in the flesh!
Ain't nothing like a brother
who practices what he preaches.
Remember we read in
right on magazine...
he done married his baby's mama!
- Sure did!
- You're a good man, too.
I know that hoochie's been
throwing that ass at you, too.
I know! Remember when tit-tit said
she slept with him?
Precious, too!
She said he got it goin' on!
She sure did!
Ladies, ladies, ladies, it's nice to
meet y'all, but I got to go to the studio.
I'm gonna be in the Heavy D video!
I'm about to blow up!
Boo yeah! She is!
Well, check it out.
I don't mean to be rude or anything...
but, unfortunately, I gotta go.
I'm running late, OK?
OK, uncle L. OK.
- OK, baby.
- Keep licking them lips!
Oh, and I know you're with
your baby's mama...
but if the shit don't work out
you know you can come...
Girl! Let's go get our luggage! Go!
Girl, you said good things come in 3s.
That's sure what my mama said.
Ow! If I see LL 2 more times, it's on!
Come on! We just saw LL!
Ring my bell!
We're the first ones here.
For real? You're about to get his job, girl!
You're gonna get this!
Will number 865 please step up?
Will number 865
please join the group over there?
Oh, girl, I'm gonna blow this audition up!
You got to, 'cause we only have
enough money...
for one night in a motel room.
I'm gonna get this. Get this.
Oh, look at her trying to show out.
Come on. Mm-hmm.
She thinks she got it going on.
You the bomb.
- Oh, yeah. - I got this.
No problem.
Eww, she wrong for that.
Uh, uh, that was good...
but you might want to go on home now
'cause I'm here.
No, stay, 'cause we're going to need
a few extras in the video.
Excuse me.
That's my girl! That's my girl!
Yeah. Yeah!
Baby, we got this!
Girl, can you believe he gonna accuse
me of hitting everybody with my hair?
I didn't hit nobody with my hair.
I did hit a few of them, though...
because I was rooting for you.
I wanted you to win.
I ain't like that song no way.
Come on, let's just find a hotel
so we can get out of here in the morning.
Where are we going to find a taxi
around here anyway?
Excuse me. Excuse me.
I couldn't help to notice you earlier.
You are a very good dancer.
Uh-huh. Well, they ain't think so.
My boss is doing a music video.
I thought you'd be perfect for it.
Hold up. How many C-notes
we talking here?
Uh, C-notes?
Cash money?
Room and board
in his Beverly Hills mansion...
and $10,000.
- A mansion? - $10,000?
Where he at?
Follow me.
Come on, girl.
We got to take care of business.
Wait, wait, wait! Don't!
Don't ring the doorbell yet.
It say right here in my etiquette notes...
that if they say, '"How are you? '" We say...
Livin' large and takin' charge, big boy!
I don't want you doing that kind of stuff.
We're in Beverly Hills...
so when they say, '"How are you,'"
We smile sweetly...
And said, '"Very well, thank you.
And yourself? '"
You cool?
Ring the doorbell.
How did you get past security
at the gate?
Begging is not permitted in Beverly Hills.
Oh, well, that's cool,
because where we come from.
Crackheads be beggin' all the time.
Snap! We can't even
walk down the street...
Oh, no, see, it's on!
- It's on now in Beverly Hills!
- Mick, we're not doin' no fighting...
Ladies, welcome.
I'm Isaac Blakemore, and you are?
I'm Denise, and this is my friend Tamika.
You can just call me Nisi and her Mickey.
Uh, sorry. Please, come on in.
I'm sorry. How very rude of me.
I just have to finish up
a phone conversation.
You know, just looking at you...
I can tell you're exactly
what I've been looking for.
So, I got the job?
Well, yeah. It certainly seems that way,
doesn't it?
Well, Manley here will be happy
to show you up to your room.
You can just relax, you know,
freshen up a little bit.
Just make yourself at home,
then we'll meet again shortly...
to go over the terms of your contract.
Thank you.
Oh, good. Good, good, good.
I'll see you in a bit.
Thank you. Thank you.
Follow me.
Mickey, look!
Ooh, he got a little one!
Ooh, look! Check this out!
It's a real famous piece.
They done pay crazy cash for this.
For that?
Some ugly woman he tried to hook up?
If she was ugly,
he should have left her ugly.
She look like Loquisha Jenkins
with a bad hair weave.
You need some throat lozenges
or something?
Lead the way, Alfred.
The name is Mr. Manley.
Manley will do very nicely, thank you.
Who is Alfred?
You know. Batman's homeboy.
Oh, you right, girl.
I see what you're saying.
You would be so good in the sequel!
- Oh, he'd be phat! - He would!
And you'd have to do is say,
'"Batman to the cave! '"
And everybody would
lose their job that day.
And you'd get that job!
To the batcave!
Ask him to say it, Mick.
You do it. I already called the man Alfred.
Oh, come on.
No, I just want to know
where we're sleeping tonight.
Wait in there.
What kind of welcome is that?
- Wait in there. - Come on.
Mick! Come in here. Look at this.
Ooh, it's pretty, ain't it?
It's beautiful.
Why they got 2 toilets?
You know how rich folks is.
They got to feel like they got a choice
in everything they do.
Now, that one right there...
Iook like it's for number one...
And that one look like it's for number 2.
How do you flush number one?
You just turn these 2 handles right here.
Oh, no, girl!
What did you do?
The water's getting all over the floor!
Do something! Hurry!
I'm trying!
Turn it off, Nisi! Turn it off! Turn it off!
- Nis, let me! - OK!
I'm gonna turn it off!
Mick, sit on it! Sit on it, Mick!
They're gonna throw us out of here, Mick!
Come on! Come on! OK! OK!
Girl, that's my back!
Girl, that's my back!
Girl, you're on my back!
You're on my back, girl!
Come on now!
Is everything all right in there?
- I say, is everything all right in there?
- Mick, the intercom!
Hurry up, girl!
Come on now!
Hello? Hello, ladies?
C'mon, shit!
Are you all right in there?
Damn! Talk to the man!
Is everything all right in there?
Yes... everything is fine.
Have you got a mop?
Mr. Isaac will see you now.
Mm-hmm. We'll be down in 5 minutes.
5 hours!
Shut up, Mick!
Over here.
Wait, wait. Slow down. Slow down.
I don't want you to trip.
Hi. Please have a seat.
How do you like your room?
Oh, snap! This whole place is the bomb!
It's lovely.
Now, uh, before we begin...
well, there's just one little thing
I have to tell you.
I'm not making a music video.
I just didn't know how else
I was going to find...
an actress like yourself.
I can act, too!
This job involves...
And old man who is dying from cancer.
Oh, that's sad.
Know what's even sadder?
He was never able to marry...
the one woman that he truly loved.
Why come?
Because he's white...
and she was black.
She was the housekeeper
at the family's estate.
Her name was Lily.
- Oh, that's who I'm going to play?
- Well, not quite.
When his family
discovered their relationship...
they separated them.
They immediately married him off
to a white woman.
And he never saw Lily again.
Anyway, he's dying...
and the only family that he has left
is his nephew.
That's me.
Sorry. I'm his nephew.
Uh, and when I learned...
that he has less than 2 weeks to live...
well, I decided that maybe I should try
and find the love of his life. Find Lily.
That is so sweet of you.
Well, it was also impossible.
But, seems I have managed to find...
Lily's granddaughter.
- Oh, that's who I'm going to play.
- Yes. Yes, exactly.
Well, my idea was...
You know how much
your grandmother loved him...
so, you show up here...
out of the goodness of your heart.
You just do anything and everything
that you can...
to make sure that his final days...
are filled with... with kindness and love.
- Bravo. - Man.
- That's beautiful.
- Aw, I'm glad you think so.
So, if you'd be so kind as to follow me.
Right this way.
Uncle Don, I have a surprise for you.
I'd like you to meet Denise.
Denise is Lily's granddaughter.
Why didn't you tell me they were coming?
How dare you bring them in like this.
How dare you!
Put... get... get out. Get out.
Nisi, let's not get scared.
We can handle that old man.
We gonna get this $10,000
and make all our dreams come true.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my god.
This is the bomb.
It's the bomb.
We going to get this money.
Let's go to dinner.
He said it was this way.
Come on!
I'm sorry I scared you.
I meant it as a surprise.
It's all right, Isaac.
Just don't ever do that to me again.
I won't.
Well, hello there.
Have a seat.
Forgive me for my behavior earlier.
I'm sorry if I was rude.
I... I don't like surprises.
I can't tell you how happy I am
to have you in my home.
The first years of my life were touched
by the magic of Lily.
I welcome you.
I suppose she told you all about life
on the estate.
Yeah, she did.
What exactly did she say?
Uh, well, she... told me about the trees.
There were wonderful trees.
There was this beautiful, majestic oak
as you drove...
That's the one. The oak.
She told us about the oak, didn't she?
Ah, here's dinner.
Thank you, Manley.
What's this?
I'm only permitted to eat certain foods.
No wonder why you sick.
I don't mean to be rude,
but you ain't dead yet.
You can still eat hearty.
What she mean is...
you can still eat hearty
and be healthy, too.
You sound just like Lily.
There's no food like soul food.
You right about that.
Ain't no food like soul food. Excuse me.
- Give me your plate. - What?
Give me your plate.
92.3 The Beat with Jesse Collins.
Off the request lines from L.A.
Do you think Ali and James miss us?
I don't know, but I know I miss my man.
You need to scoot over,
because I ain't got no problem...
sleeping on this expensive white carpet
because I know it's poodle hair.
Excuse me.
I must talk to you.
Oh, yes, Antonio! I'm coming!
Hold on.
- Antonio. - Mickey.
- Antonio. - Mickey.
Perhaps we can go someplace private.
Hold on.
You need to go take a cold shower
like I told you to.
Come with me, bellissima.
Hey, hey!
You said we came down here to talk.
No more lies.
I felt that maybe you were feeling
the same thing that I feel for you.
You were?
We are destiny, I'm convinced.
- We are? - Si, bellissima.
But I have a secret.
Well, got on ahead, Antonio.
You can tell me.
My family is very wealthy.
For real?
I came to America to find somebody
who likes me for me.
Somebody like you.
You got some money?
More money than you can spend
in one lifetime.
Oh, please let me try
in this lifetime, please.
I will. I promise.
I need to go now.
Until we meet again.
Aria derchi to you, too.
And some mozzarella and fettuccini.
Hell, yeah.
I swear to God it ain't no dream.
I know you think he's just hired help
but it's all an act.
Well, if he's so rich...
why did he have to come
all the way to America to find his wife?
I don't know.
But I ain't got no rock on my finger...
so I say we keep shopping
for our babies' daddies.
And may the fattest wallet him.
I tell you, Master Isaac,
they're disrupting M. Blakemore's diet.
They're poisoning him
with this soul food as he calls it.
Mm-mmm, he love Mickey's soul food.
My soul food is created
to nourish the soul, OK?
I ain't used pork
since Thelma was on Good Times...
about to marry Ebay the African prince,
'cause he didn't eat pork in his food
and I said no, no, no.
I'm waiting on my African prince...
to be my baby's daddy,
so I stopped using pork...
because I started using chicken broth.
I could be doing that.
So I don't know what you talking about.
See, what I cook is much healthier than
that bird stuff Alfred is cooking for him.
The name is Manley, thank you.
I spoke with the nutritionist this morning.
And he warned me that
this so-called soul food...
has been know to clog the arteries,
cramp the colon...
and eventually stop the heart.
Is that true?
Mm-mmm, not the way she do it.
- Good grief, would you look at that?
- Yes.
Let me have that from you.
You're alarming me a little bit.
I want you to relax.
I think you're overreacting.
Ladies, I want you to continue to cook...
whatever you think is going to
make my uncle happy.
And if there's anything else you need
from the store...
well, I'm sure that Manley will be
more than delighted to go get it for you.
Oh, you think he could go
by the record store?
Oh, sure.
And don't forget my Ice Cube cd, Manley.
Good morning, everybody.
How are you? Isaac, good to see you.
Ah, I don't know
what you put in that meal last night...
but I feel great.
Excuse me.
What's for breakfast?
Excuse me.
Excuse me, please.
I wonder if you could help me.
Oh, yeah, yeah. You're looking for the
classical section, back there by the jazz.
No, no, no, no.
I am not looking for the classical section.
I'm looking for the rap section as follows:
2 Pac, Too Short, the Dogg Pound...
Ice Cube, Ice T,
Bitch Betta Have My Money...
and Pull Up to the Bumper, Baby.
All right, right, right.
OK, you trying to get your groove on.
Right this way, dog.
Got that Too Short player's style
right there. Yeah.
What else? We got that Mack 10,
baby, yeah.
West Side!
Yeah, what you know about that?
Got that east coast Busta Rhymes
in the house.
What you know, boy?
Yeah, what else we got here?
An, got that Miami Bass, baby.
What you know about
that Luke Skywalker, huh?
Uhh-uhh, get it, get it
Get it, get it
Check it out.
We got the bomb in the back, though.
- Hey, you know Dre left Death Row, right?
- What?
Now who's got the ball?
I hear you.
Ah ah, I got the ball now.
You can't shoot from there.
My shot!
- Mr. B shoots. - 2, chalk upo 2!
- Tie score. - I shot 2.
4 seconds, 3 seconds.
Here we go around.
You all right?
My hair.
My hair got wet! Oh, God!
I told that girl
she should wear a swimming cap!
What's the problem?
She done got her hair wet.
Now she's mad
because she going to be nappy.
I tell you what, send for the car...
and make an appointment
at a hair salon I know.
Have them call me
and charge it to my account.
Wait, I got a better idea.
I can use some new clothes.
What say we... we go on
a shopping spree?
A shopping spree?
Today must be my lucky day!
I'm going on a shopping spree.
I never been on a shopping spree.
I'm going on a shopping spree!
I... yeah, yeah, yeah.
Would you relax?
Stop worrying about those girls.
Because they're idiots.
They're not going to suspect anything.
No, they won't.
Look... look, all you have to do...
just be set up on your end.
Everything's going to be fine.
Because I know it will.
I already have all the pictures
I'm going to need.
Just get a grip on yourself.
You're going to be very wealthy
very, very soon.
Yeah, that's true.
I won't be so badly off myself.
Look, I'll talk to you later.
OK, bye.
Ohh, you trippin'.
You diggin' hard on Antonio, ain't you?
I wish I could find me a man.
You will. You will.
Well, I ain't found one yet.
And we leaving here
as soon as Mr. B die.
I can't believe we waiting around
for some man to die.
It don't feel right.
- And he's such good people, too.
- I know.
Ooh, we done missed
our stories today, girl.
Ooh, and today was the day
we was going to find out...
who killed Adam's wife.
I know. It was the housekeeper.
No, it was the stepdaughter
because she jealous.
No, no, she ain't smart enough.
No, it was that ho Jillian.
That Jillian.
She is a nasty piece of work, isn't she?
You watch the stories?
Oh, yes.
I videotape every episode.
Get the fuck out of here.
I beg your pardon?
Who killed Adam's wife?
It was that dirty,
rotten swine Dr. Matthew.
I always did suspect him.
I knew it. I knew he did it.
- Dr. Matthew. - Thank you, Alfred.
I'll take your ticket, sir.
Nice to see you, Mr. Blakemore.
Don Blakemore...
I haven't seen you
at the golf course lately.
Mr. Blakemore, good evening! Welcome!
Thanks for coming. How are you?
Alex, always good to see you.
Now, I want one of your choice tables
for me and my guests.
That'll be no problem. Ladies?
Excuse me, I'm going to
wash my hands, ladies.
OK, follow me. Right this way.
Here we go. Right up here.
Howard Hewitt!
Oh, I been a fan of yours for so long.
Since you was with Shalimar
and you had the big afro.
Oh, I'm such a big fan of yours.
You got to sing for me.
- You got to sing something.
- Not here.
Oh, yo, yeah, here. I ain't letting you go
till you sing something for me.
OK, OK, OK, listen.
You know I love you, baby.
Wunderbar. The show is over.
Thank you very much.
I'm so sorry, Mr. Hewitt.
It was nice that you sang.
- Oh, bless you for that.
- Listen here...
you can't be acting like no fool, OK?
We in a fancy place.
We got to have class.
We in a classy place.
Oh, Leon!
Ooh, I loved you in Waiting to Exhale.
I want to exhale. I want to exhale.
Please, please, let him exhale.
Oh, Mr. Leon, I'm so sorry.
Please... thank you for coming!
Ooh, girl. Leon.
Your table is ready.
- You got us in trouble.
- You getting us in trouble.
- I know how to act.
- I know how to act, too.
- Look. Oh! - Heavy D!
Heavy D!
Ooh, Heavy, Heavy, Heavy!
You the main reason that we here in L.A.
At that audition,
I didn't do the best I could.
Wait a minute.
Ain't you that girl that hit the other girl
in the face with your hair?
Oh, I seen all you can do, hon.
No, she can really dance.
No, I seen all she can do.
She could hurt somebody.
No, she can dance.
And I'm the next Monifa.
She is.
Oh, you're the next Monifa?
Yeah. Look, the Mickey remix.
Check us out.
Oh, no, this is not necess...
It's been too long since you been gone
Feels good when I'm with you
I miss you
Please, no, with the booty!
Oh, Mr. Heavy D, I'm so sorry.
I did not mean for this to be heavy.
You know what I mean?
It's OK. It's all right.
No problem. No problem.
Your table is waiting!
I'm sorry.
It's fine. It's fine.
I didn't mean it.
I just wanted to show you.
We'll call the office.
Have a good night.
Diddle-lee-dee, diddle lee-dee.
- C.E.O. - C.E.O.
- C.E.O. - C.E.O.
Oh, good to see you again,
Mr. Blakemore.
Whoa, no, what a night.
Will there be anything else for you,
Mr. Blakemore?
No, thank you, Albert.
- I'll have the check, though.
- Thank you.
You know what, Mr. B?
This food ain't all that.
They should've had Mickey up
in the kitchen.
Nisi, do you cook?
Mm-mmm. I do hair. That's my thing.
- Really? So did Lily. - Who?
Oh, grandma. Yeah, Lily.
Grandma could grease a scalp,
couldn't she?
Tell me more about her. It's been so long.
Let's see.
Oh, Lily, she have a big...
Take care, Mr. Blakemore.
I hope everything was
to your satisfaction.
Thank you.
Oh, Ali, stop.
Mmm-hmm, I miss you, too.
You know, I'm sorry things got
kind of crazy before I left, you know?
But that's how that go.
Oh, so you think I'm going to
come crawling back?
I hope them negative words
taste real good rolling off your lips...
because one day
you're going to have to eat them.
Is everything all right, Miss?
Now, then, who could be calling
at this time of night?
It's my boyfriend.
Shall I answer?
This is the Blakemore residence.
One moment, please.
It's for you.
You tell him I'm through with his sorry ass.
Go on, tell him.
Hello, sir.
She's through with your sorry ass.
I wonder, would you mind
repeating that, sir?
Thank you.
He says you're tripping
because you're in Hollywood...
and he hopes you don't get played.
Oh, I'm tripping, and he hope
I don't get played?
Tell him he better hop his mama
don't get played.
Hello, sir.
She hopes your mama don't get played.
Wait a moment, sir.
- Yes, she is, as a matter of fact.
- What?
He asked if you were biting your lip.
Yes, yes.
But that's truly extraordinary, isn't it?
All right, sir, I will.
Good night now.
What he say?
Well, he said he's sorry,
maybe he's tripping...
but he misses you very much on the real.
Good night, Miss.
On the real.
This little piggy ate the ravioli.
Why you wearing them gloves
in the house?
Because, my love, your skin is too soft...
to suffer the roughness
of my hard-working hands.
You are so sweet.
Wait, wait, wait, whoa. Wait.
I ain't doing that till I get married.
You putting a ring on this finger?
A ring?
I already have a ring.
You do?
Come with me.
Mr. Blakemore was kind enough
to let me keep the ring safe in here.
- Ready? - Yes.
I can't open it.
Oh, OK. Well, let me try. Let me try.
What's the combo?
- 5 left. - 5 left.
- Zero right. - Zero right.
And 10 left.
10 left.
It's not opening, is it?
That's not it.
It's all right, bellissima.
I will verify the code
with Mr. Blakemore in the morning.
Have a good night.
Sleep tight.
Welcome to
the British Overseas Network.
The following BBC program
can be heard again on Thursday at...
Oh, so you stealing, huh?
I'm going to have to beat you
like you stole something then.
Oh, I'm going to have to hit you hard,
like Tyson.
Ooh, what?
Ooh! Ha ha ha. What?
Tyson wouldn't hit him like that.
He wouldn't?
No. He'd hit him like this.
Oh, no, no, no.
You ain't seen his last fight...
'cause you was in the kitchen
getting popcorn.
Tyson... would do it like...
No, Tyson...
Would really hit him like...
- this! - This!
Yeah, come on.
What's going on here?
What is this?
Help me out.
Help you out?
I'm calling the police.
The three of you are stealing
from my uncle.
No, the girls had nothing to do with it.
- It was Antonio. - Antonio?
Isaac, our plan can still work.
It will be our words against theirs.
Her fingerprints are still on the safe, man.
I beg your pardon?
I don't know what you're talking about.
What plan?
I'm calling the police.
Oh, my dear, I'm so sorry.
Look what you've done,
you little skeezers!
Now, I'm going to have to
spank that ass like Tyson.
I said come on!
And stay on your feet!
And he was there,
and he hit me from behind.
Well, that was that.
I'll report more fully to you in the morning
and, I promise I'll be there as early as I can.
Thank you so much, officer.
Oh, for goodness sake, let's go.
I'll read you your rights.
You have the right to remain silent.
Hello? You there?
Come on, look at me. Look at me!
Did you say right or fight?
Right. You have the right to remain slient.
Anything you say can and will be used
against you in a court of law.
I don't know how he slept through all that.
You think he's still alive?
I don't know.
Maybe we should check his pulse.
Wait a minute, you took a CPR class,
didn't you?
Yeah. 'Cause all the cute guys
was in there.
No! Didn't you learn anything?
No. But I did meet James.
We're going to check his heart
to see if it's still beating.
Go on, you check it.
You check it.
- You check it. - You check it.
You check it.
It's on your side.
He's alive.
I'm going to bed.
That's OK. We got it.
Hello. Good morning.
I'm Tracy Shaw,
Mr. Blakemore's attorney.
Look, here, we ain't had nothing to do
with what happened last night.
I swear to God.
Oh, I know.
And if anybody says differently...
you make sure you have them call me.
Everything is OK now.
Thank God we caught this
before Isaac went too far.
I received this package
from his attorney this morning.
Mr. Blakemore...
Isaac has filed documents
of incompetency against you.
I guess once he got the photos
he needed...
this girls were no longer of
any value to him.
He claims you befriended two girls
from the ghetto...
after you caught them
trying to break into your home.
You then moved the girls into your home...
and, for a lack of a better phrase...
you've been allowing them
to rob you blind.
How dare he!
Girl, I can't believe
Isaac would do this to Mr. Blakemore.
Yeah, that is kind of messed up.
Mickey, Nisi, it was a pleasure
meeting the both of you.
How's he doing?
Does he want something to eat?
I think he just needs to rest right now.
- He will be fine. Good-bye. - Bye.
All he needs is energy.
Remember when I told you...
my grandmama used to make
my granddaddy a special drink...
that would get him going?
But didn't you tell me
that is not only got him up...
but that it got him... up?
Up is up.
I don't know how we're going to
get him to drink all them egg yolks.
The same way my grandmama did.
Ladies, I didn't hear you come in.
- Hi. - Hi.
We decided to make you
a breakfast drink.
You didn't have to do that.
But we wanted to.
We're sorry about what happened
last night.
Yeah, so am I.
Please have a seat.
Money makes people
do the strangest things.
Isaac brought you here
for his own selfish reasons...
but did he promise you anything?
Like a fee?
- Wasn't no fee involved, was there?
- No.
We here because we want to be.
Which is all the more reason
why you should have these.
- $50,000? - Holy shit!
I mean shoot.
Uh-uh, Mr. B.
Ain't no way we could take this.
We're here because we want to be.
You know, until this very second...
the only person I ever totally trusted
in my entire life was Lily.
I feel like dancing.
Go, go! Get it! Get it!
Let's get this party jumpin'!
West Side!
The roof! The roof!
The roof is on fire!
Mr. B, you OK?
Let's go sit down.
You don't look so good.
You feeling kind of dizzy?
Let's sit him down right here.
Right here.
OK, I'm fine, really.
You sure?
I just got a little short of breath
for a second. I'm OK.
You was getting down out there, Mr. B.
I think it's time for us to go home.
Yeah, 'cause Manley's embarrassing us.
So that's why we made you fall out.
Let's go.
Come on.
We had no idea
you could dance like that, Mr. B.
I haven't had this much fun
since I used to dance with Lily.
You girls are truly amazing.
Ah, Lily.
Lily, what a lady.
What a lady.
Oh, I'm sorry you didn't meet
the man of your dreams tonight...
but maybe next time.
That's OK.
I've known him since high school anyway.
His name is Ali.
He's back in Georgia.
I really love him, too.
What's the problem, then?
Ali don't have no dreams...
no drive, no ambition.
Just like me.
No, it's true.
I almost lost all of my dreams
when I was a very young man.
Fortunately, there was a...
a skinny, bowlegged girl
who was filled with dreams.
Everything I have today
is because of her.
I mean, I had no ambition.
But she had enough for the both of us.
What do you mean by that?
Well, she always dreamt about
becoming a clothing designer...
and I loved her so much that...
Oh, so that's how you got interested in
the fabric business.
Well, who was she?
Your grandmother.
See, that's what I'm... talking about.
- Ali is different. - Nisi...
This is no fortune worth
the loss of a true love.
Some things are priceless.
Where have you been?
You know, you've been acting strange
ever since we got home.
What's up with you, Nisi?
What? I've been thinking, OK...
about how we going to get up out of here.
- What?
- Don't act like you don't know, Mickey.
The guilt... the guilt of what we doing.
Now, that old man down
there is a nice old man.
And he ain't got nothing around him
but people trying to use him...
like you and me.
I know. Why do you think
I got up and left.
We should've been done got up and left.
D, don't you think that
we could at least say good-bye?
- We can't. - Why?
Cause if I go to him and I say we leaving...
he going to say, '"Why? '"
And I'm going to have to tell him...
that you and me been
a part of this whole big lie.
I can't do it.
So we're going to write him a letter...
and we're going to
tell him the truth, everything.
- Everything? - Everything!
What time is it?
Why are you still up?
I guess I can't sleep.
You go on, go back to bed.
Flight don't leave for another 7 hours.
I'm going to be downstairs.
Hey, D...
what we going to do
when we get off that plane?
We ain't got no money,
no apartment, nothin'.
We worse than when we started out.
Maybe, but maybe not.
Some things is priceless,
you know, Mick?
Excuse me, Miss.
It was never my intention
to involve myself in your private affairs...
or to come off like a player-hater...
but I have become
a kind of a middleman...
and I think it's high time...
that you two talked with each other,
face to face.
I took your advice
and decided to help myself.
How did you get here, Ali?
Your boy Alfred hooked me up.
He called me late last night and
insisted that we come out right away.
- We? James here, too? - Yeah.
Nisi, I don't know if you want to stay here...
if you want to go home,
or what you want to do.
All I know is I've had one dream...
and one dream only since high school...
And that's... and that's to be with you.
Come on, they're playing our song.
You know what?
Everything you said about me was true.
I do need to change.
So from now on...
I promise you, I'm going to change.
For real?
For real.
This... this is the kind of stuff
you deserve.
But I just... I just can't give it to you.
I mean, you... you deserve nice stuff.
You deserve a big old house...
and... and... you... you...
you... you... deserve your...
your own backyard.
And... every... everybody else
got a little white dog.
Why... why you can't have one?
I want to take you out to dinner...
and... and every time we go out,
we got to watch...
other people eat.
Hell, I want to eat, too.
And you need... you need some clothes.
Why... why should you have to wear
your Sunday clothes...
on... on Wednesday?
Now, look, girl...
don't think... don't think
the brother a punk...
because he crying like a little girl, but...
You're my queen.
I... love... Love you!
James, you ain't never said
nothing like this.
- Don't say it if you don't mean it.
- I mean it!
Girl, what's wrong with you?
I'm sorry, James!
I said I mean it!
Come on!
Oh, dear. Hurry, hurry. Oh, oh!
Thank you! Thank you!
Sir, please, can I get in there?
It's all right. It's all right.
Don't panic. Manley's here.
Nisi, hurry up.
They just took Mr. B to the hospital.
Come on, hurry!
I'm glad you came.
I... I want to thank you for everything
that you've done.
I, uh...
You was the one
who was about the money, not us.
I can't believe that Mr. B is related...
Speaking of relatives, how's Lily?
Oh, Mickey, Nisi, come, please.
You're going to be OK.
Mr. B...
I, uh, um...
I ain't Lily's...
Mr. B?
We're losing him.
Get Dr. Russell in here now.
Get me Dr. Jennings
down here immediately.
Give me a hand, will you, doctor?
Uh, nurse, get a respirator over here.
Mr. Blakemore, can you hear me?
- Oxygen, oxygen. - Mr. Blakemore?
I didn't get a chance to tell him.
About Lily?
You didn't have to.
He already knew.
You see, Lily never had any children.
Go up there and look at the picture.
Look at the picture.
Now, who the picture remind you of?
Loquisha Jenkins!
Yecch, that's so ugly.
There she go, right there.
This all your stuff here?
Don't drag it.
I'm not gonna drag it.
You ready to go?
Wait a minute.
I wish you a very pleasant journey.
Flying first class
is extremely comfortable.
So I've been told.
We shall miss you.
We're gonna miss you, too.
Thank you for everything.
Alfred will do very nicely, thank you.
We should get going.
Not yet.
I'm glad I caught you.
This will only take a second.
Please, follow me.
I just have a document.
I'd like to review with you all.
Good morning to you.
Oh, you're still here?
Good morning, Isaac.
This is Mr. Blakemore's last will
and testament.
'"First... '"
Mr. Blakemore states...
'"I'd like to thank my B.A.P. S
Nisi and Mickey...
'"for making the last days of my life
as pleasant as my first year.'"
Oh, that's sweet.
B.A.P. S?
Black American Princesses.
Uh, yeah. Please continue.
They have a plane to catch.
Of course.
'"Second, I, Donald William Blakemore...
Being of sound heart and mind...
Hereby request the affairs
of my estate...
To be incontestably implemented
as follows:
To my B.A.P. S I leave... '"
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm Jesse Collins...
and we are broadcasting live...
at the only salon-restaurant
in Beverly Hills.
There are the owners.
Let's give 'em a big round of applause.
- I am this impressed! - Roger that.
Brother, check out the name.
What the name say, huh?
And we got numerous slogans like...
Now, if you really must be there...
but you feel you're underage...
Don't hesitate to give one of us a page.
And if you're tired of riding
that raggedy-ass bus...
I ain't got a problem with you pagin' us.
Now step to the side
while we hit the street...
then turn to your left and check the fleet.
This is the grand opening of Lily'Z...
the only spot in Beverly Hills
where you can get...
bangs 'n' bacon, weaves 'n' waffles
and eggs and extensions.
Whoa! Rod-man!
You know, I'm gonna have to
take you blue.
You ever get tired of that guy
who has the beeper company...
beep me. I'll take care of you.
I'm tired. Already.
Can we talk about the girls?
Oh, the girls are enchanting!
Yes, they are.
Ahh! There you are!
The telephones haven't stopped ringing.
They want an exclusive...
on the grand opening
in New York next month.
Well, tell E. T,
they can have the Paris opening.
Absolutely. And give MTV New York.
And please make sure that
everybody comes...
to the grand opening
in Decatur, Georgia.
Ahh, of course.
Welcome again, ladies and gentlemen...
the owners of the place to be
in Beverly Hills... Lily'Z!
Now that the owners are here,
Nisi and Mickey...
it's time to kick off the grand opening!
Ladies, come on up here.
Come and get in your party!