Boone: The Bounty Hunter (2017) Movie Script
1
Get on the ground!
Come on!
Ooh, surf's up.
You're goin' down, Sorbo.
Run for your life, goober!
Ha-ha!
Whoo!
Stop chasing me, you freak!
Ahh!
Pardon us, ma'am.
Oh!
Yeah! Oh!
Keep running.
Just parking tickets.
Come on!
I'm only an actor.
Go, dude!
Denny, here he comes.
Dude, why you lookin'
at the copter?
Run!
Run!
Booney!
Welcome to Boone county.
Ha-ha!
Jackson.
Already there.
Oh, oh, oh!
How did I go from hunting
Hussein to Hercules?
I've done a lot of other
movies and TV shows
since that was on
the air, buddy.
But that was your best work.
This sucks.
Ow, that hurt.
Ugh.
The only legendary journey
you're gonna be taking is...
Your face to the floor.
Don't make me laugh, man.
That's not funny.
Kevin Sorbo,
you just got Boone'd.
America, you're welcome.
Overseas, he served our country.
Kicked ass in Baghdad.
Time to get outta here.
Now, he's back home,
serving ass whoopings
to d-bags here in America.
Whoo!
"Boone the bounty hunter."
You just got Boone'd.
America, you're welcome.
Stop!
It's just a parking ticket!
Get off me.
Hey, there you go!
Son of a bitch!
Damn.
You guys are about
to get Boone'd.
It's radical action.
He's putting
bad guys in traction.
Seven unpaid parking tickets.
What are you talking about, man?
Parking tickets.
Dude, I live in Beverly hills.
Plans are for goobers.
Starring... Boone.
Surf's up, dirtbag.
Whoo, I got Boone'd!
Yeah!
Also starring Denny,
Jackson, and Kat.
Here comes the Boone.
America, you're welcome.
Good job, everybody.
Let's finish strong.
Get up.
Ow!
You dislocated my shoulder.
Ahh!
It's Boone from TV!
Boone be the glory.
Need these?
Yeah.
Crazy.
Zeus would be disappointed.
Oh, stop it with
the Hercules references.
Can I have your autograph?
Hey, ladies.
Autograph?
I could write a poem
on these things.
Amazing, just amazing.
That was way,
way too rough, man.
Shut up.
Totally unnecessary!
God!
Hey, hey, hey, this is
gonna air before my movie
comes out next month, right?
I'm sure it will.
Okay, good.
Hercules.
It's Hercules.
Boone fans, your Van's
waiting across the street.
Come on, and, uh, don't forget
to sign your release forms.
Hey, tweet me later, okay?
Hashtag...
You okay, foxy grandma?
Yeah.
Listen, if anything
back there was damaged,
let me know.
I'll get production to cover it.
You-you-you're
the bounty hunter from TV.
In the flesh.
And if there's anything
I can do for you,
just name it.
Maybe I could get a autograph.
Absolutely.
Hey, wicked party, Ryan.
You're welcome.
No, no, no, no.
Shh.
Yes, yes, yes.
I've already had way too much.
Oh, this is good for you.
Yo, Ryan, your guy is here.
Dominic, my favorite customer.
Champagne?
No, wait, sorry.
This one's special.
Ryan, I didn't come to drink.
Oh, you came
to hang out with me?
That's so sweet.
You didn't get it again,
did you?
Oh, wait, uh, did you...
Did you come here for...
This?
There's nothin' else like it...
Pure, potent,
and undetectable to dogs.
Not too much.
My daddy makes it extra strong.
Oh, hey, that was mine,
you bad girl.
You know that's expensive.
Don't waste it.
Damn it.
A couple big cases
came out last night,
and we need a season finale.
No more c-listers,
not unless it's for a felony.
Kathy Griffin...
She skipped four counts
of indecent exposure.
Hey, that's a crime
against humanity.
So, you want Boone
to tackle Kathy Griffin?
She'd put a better fight
than Kevin Sorbo.
Let's be serious, people.
Our ratings are down.
We need big numbers
to guarantee season six.
Olivia.
The network is on hold for you.
I'll be right back.
Just pick one.
Well, anything new?
No, it's just
the same crap as usual.
Hey, I got somethin' new.
An Rf camera with
a five-mile range,
and it follows
whoever wears this.
Hey.
I think it likes you, Denny.
Yeah.
All right.
That's pretty cool.
You know how our cameras
sometimes tip off the skip?
Well, if we know
a location beforehand,
we hide these before
anyone gets there.
What kinda movies
you makin', man?
Oh, yeah, yeah,
you know you like it.
Boone!
Hallway.
Now, please?
What is it this time?
Execs wanna cancel the show.
They're bluffing.
Just some suits trying to
score a better deal.
It's real, Boone.
Our numbers are way down
two years in a row.
Next season will be our last.
What if our last episode
does huge numbers?
It's not going to, Boone.
People don't care anymore.
They think this is staged.
Well, then go back
to how we started.
Let's find a real bad guy.
Make headlines.
Boone, I'm sorry.
Cage Bickle.
Hey, colonel, what's crackin'?
Boone?
Yep.
I need some help.
Get a therapist.
With a case.
Remember that favor you owe me?
All right, look, Boone, you
know you're not supposed to be
calling me here at the office.
Well, if you picked up
your cell...
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I am super busy with some
monster cases, right now.
Yeah, look, I get it.
In fact, my cell is ringin'.
Look, Boone, I gotta go.
I gotta take this call.
Give me two minutes.
I wish I could.
I'll call you back.
I promise.
This is cage.
Hey, colonel, long time no talk.
What the hell do you want?
A case, somethin' hot.
Is this for your TV show?
I'm still a bounty hunter first,
the best you ever worked with.
You know DEA can't be
sharing intel with civilians.
I'm good at keepin' secrets.
You know that.
And after this, we're even?
What do ya got?
Get in, babe.
Let's test your
snorkeling skills.
It feels fizzy.
Taste it.
Like, now you're afraid
of what goes in your mouth?
Come on.
Try it.
Champagne infused.
Costs me 12 large every
time I fill it up.
Ryan!
Oh, damn it.
Just if he asks
you any questions,
you don't speak English.
Ryan!
Jump on in.
You, too, sexy tessy.
Did you share anything with her?
Oh, a couple times.
She's a grand an hour.
You really think
I would waste a second
talking about my dad?
You're Cole Davenport?
Oh, come on, shut it.
No, no, no.
Please, I-i want to know
more about my son's friends.
She's not a friend.
She's a whore.
Even better.
Ryan was telling me
about your new product.
I have people high up
in distribution
who could really...
Oh, my god!
Now, I have to drain
the whole thing!
That's not water, dad!
That's wasteful!
You wanna talk about waste?
Waste is when you have
a warehouse full of people
slaving for ten months
to produce enough product
for one massive shipment,
and then I have my son
steal some of the product,
use it with his girlfriend,
and now she's dead on the floor!
That was an accident.
Well, you know what?
Your accident now has my product
in her bloodstream.
You know what that means?
The feds know what to look for.
So, I want you to get
your ass out of that pool,
because I need to go
down to the plant
to speed up production,
and you are comin' with me.
No!
I can't have you mouthin'
off to the FBI.
I mean...
Come on, I wouldn't
rat on you, dad.
No, dumbass.
You never will.
Tess here has invited
the Cardoza brothers.
I guarantee you they will
take care of you.
Oh, come on, I don't
need babysitters.
No more parties, no more whores,
no more loose ends.
No more screw-ups.
Ryan Davenport,
trust fund kid charged with
the second degree murder
of candy Charley.
Cops found her body
on the side of route 101
with enough rohypnol
in her system
to knock out a rhinoceros.
And... get this.
They found a new designer drug
in her system, too.
I'm telling you guys,
we nab this weasel,
and he leads them to
the snoopy sauce.
It's huge.
Hey, uh, Boone,
this is a real case.
Yeah, this isn't
hog-tying Kardashians.
We're a TV show.
We were a TV show.
You didn't tell them?
This is our last episode.
Damn.
Not if we score massive
ratings by Booneing
a spoiled d-bag who buys
his way out of trouble.
Okay, his trial starts tomorrow.
How do you even
know he's gonna skip?
He already did, this morning.
He left the state?
Oh, yeah, he's a skipper.
Where-where'd
you get these?
A friend at the DEA.
Hmm.
So, you know where he went?
Grab your margaritas, senoritas.
We're going to Mexico.
We could be there by morning
and back by sunset.
Morning, like tomorrow morning?
No way.
We need intel on
this guy, this town.
We need gear.
Mexico is a stopover
for this creep.
We gotta strike fast.
Come on, man.
You know Mexico don't
like bounty hunters.
He's right.
They'll let Davenport go
and charge us with abduction.
We're just nicely
asking the murderer
if he'll take a ride
back to L.A. with us.
If we get busted,
which we won't,
we all know it's just
a matter of pesos
to get us out.
We don't have a budget anymore.
The bail was 10 mil.
That's a million dollar bounty.
We're not going...
End of discussion.
Yo, Boone!
Never was good at
following orders.
That's why you love me, right?
Yeah, you're right,
but I'm still not goin'.
What?
And you guys shouldn't, either.
Denny, you know this is crazy.
Boone says it's an easy score.
Kat.
Hey, since I'm out of a job,
I could use the million bucks,
and somebody needs
to watch their asses.
Let's grab the last
of our gear, Denny.
I might not be able to stop
them from following you,
but maybe I can stop you from
leading them into trouble.
Come on, man.
I thought you liked trouble.
I like my wife and my kids more.
Are they the type of kids
that like to eat?
Man, I'm trying to
save our jobs.
Maybe it's time to
find new jobs.
Doing what?
Watching the door
at some club on sunset?
No, man, we worked
too hard for too long.
You think we're gonna
find another gig
that pays this well
to crush bad guys?
Oh, is-is that
what we're doin'?
Yeah.
Look, you're the best soldier
I ever fought with.
But, Boone,
trust me on this one.
You're making a huge
mistake this time.
Talking about going to Mexico.
You don't know that place.
Think.
I am thinking.
I can take care of myself.
You're supposed to take care
of everyone else, too.
It's official.
We're completely off the grid.
What? Damn it.
How am I supposed to
tweet this epic selfie
to the Booneatics?
How will the twitverse survive?
You know, Kat,
I've been thinkin'.
Don't hurt yourself.
We need to relieve the
sexual tension between us.
When we get back
to L.A.,
I think you should
come over to my place.
We'll crack open some beers
and watch some pro wrestling.
Come over.
I'll-I'll show you
some moves.
We could do
some Pilates, some yoga,
you know, Wednesday night stuff.
A showmance could
help the ratings.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I'd do it to save
everyone's jobs.
Fine.
If it'll help the show,
I'll just hook up with Denny.
Look, there are people
in this town.
Yeah, two.
Where is everybody?
What the hell?
Oh, what's this guy's story?
Hey, want some water?
Agua?
Yeah.
Uh, no.
No, take it, man.
You need it.
No.
And some lip balm.
Okay, but if you get thirsty
and change your mind,
it's right there.
Hey, what's the sign say?
It means lazy.
You're Boone the hunter.
See?
They do know me down here.
What's with him?
He broke the rules.
You're here to stop the bad men?
That's right, one of the worst.
What's your name, kid?
Miguel.
So, Miguel...
How would you like to be
a deputy bounty hunter?
Any new gringos come
to town yesterday?
No.
Calm down, chief.
I got a card for you, too.
You want senor Davenport.
The kid said this is the place.
Camera one online and recording.
Come on.
Let's be ready to rock.
Boone cam set.
Boone cam check.
Gross.
Okay, got Denny cam.
Denny cam check.
Blaaah.
Grosser.
Can you give me some levels?
Ryan Davenport,
the weatherman's predicting
hail in your future
because I'm about to come at ya
like a bag of quarters
in a strip club.
Perfect.
Kat cam is hot.
We've got the remotes.
Just remember we gotta
stay half a mile
from the Van so we can
record the feeds.
Incoming.
Yahtzee.
We got him.
How do we handle them?
Hmm.
Looks like these guys
found a buy one,
get one free sale
on polyester goon suits.
Denny can take 'em.
Hey, look...
He's ditching his bodyguards.
Now is our chance.
Wait, wait, hold up
a sec, Kittycat.
What?
Why?
Boone, let's go.
We can cut him off before
they catch up.
Davenport's still in the bar.
Kid went in wearing
lucchese boots
worth at least 11 thou.
The guy that came out
was in sneakers.
I guess being a fashion diva
has its perks.
Yep.
Let's go Boone this chump stain.
Boone voyage, Ryan Davenport.
Group Boone.
Let's Boone him.
All right, guys.
Let's Boone this kid.
Settle down on the
Boone-Boone phrases.
Boone... I'm
gonna Boone this kid
into next Tuesday.
Hmm.
You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Probably not as advanced.
You two set the cameras.
I'll probe her for information.
At least that
won't take too long.
Well, hello, muscles.
Is it hot in here,
or is it just you?
What can I do for you?
And remember,
I can do everything.
I'm lookin' for somebody.
Oh, perfect.
I'm a somebody.
What type of place
is this anyway?
The kind where you
don't ask questions.
Where is Ryan Davenport?
See, that's a question,
and here's the only answer
that matters in this town.
Don't mess with anyone
named Davenport.
Margarita, blended,
half sugar,
half salt on the rim.
Interesting place, homey.
What's going on?
Fiesta? Rodeo?
Chicas back there,
dudes with hats?
Hablo Ingles?
No? Okay.
Whoa.
What's up with your face?
My name is Boone
the bounty hunter.
I'm lookin' for a piece of trash
named Ryan Davenport.
You know where Ryan is, chief?
Thirsty, huh?
This round is on me.
Speak English?
Do you know where Ryan is?
I don't think so, brother.
You don't think so.
Yeah.
He doesn't think so.
Okay, then.
Ha-ha!
A-Boone-a-matata,
goober.
Ahh!
I had him!
Where's Ryan?
Upstairs.
Where's the stairs?
Over there.
Hello, Ryan, ladies.
Who the hell are you?
I'm the trash collector.
Do you have any idea who I am?
Yeah, you're the trash.
So, I'm guessing you
haven't seen my show.
The bad guys always run.
Hmm.
I'm keeping the Chipotle card.
I'll go get the Van.
Yah.
Good job, Boone.
I'm gonna cuff him.
No, no, no.
This is our season finale.
We still gotta Boone the crap
out of the roofie kid here.
I think we're gonna
win an Emmy for this.
I don't know, Boone.
He doesn't look so good.
He's okay.
Yep, yep.
See? See?
What about the police?
Maybe we should just drive.
You guys drive.
I'll run.
Here comes justice, Davenprick.
Yeah!
Hey, man!
Is that all you got?
That looks fun.
I haven't seen a man like that
around here in ten years.
A man without a brain?
A man who doesn't know
he's already dead?
He ain't your savior, Sylvia.
Damn it, Walker.
Cole Davenport takes
everything from us.
Haven't you had enough?
No, and you wanna know why?
Why?
Because I don't start
fights I can't win.
Boone-a-gram
for Ryan Davenport.
Yeah!
You're gonna get Boone'd.
Ryan Davenport,
you just got Boone'd.
America, you're welcome.
Okay.
We gotta get outta here.
Hands up!
Uh, bad things...
Bad things are happening.
How many cops are there?
Forget it, Boone.
We can't assault officers.
Just get Ryan out of here.
Boone, just hide.
Just hide.
They're coming.
Don't get negative.
Stay positive, okay?
Glass is half full.
Worst case scenario,
you go to jail for a few days.
I-I don't think that's
the worst case scenario.
Remember that guy on the street?
He was just being lazy.
I'm gonna take the Davenport kid
across the border,
cash in the bounty.
Wait... you're gonna
go home without us?
Then we'll have a million
bucks to get you out.
Tell them that.
Tell them you can pay.
Guera, out.
Yeah, sorry.
Mr. Victor.
Mr. Davenport,
how are you?
Huh? So, you
finally did somethin'
I told you to do, huh?
You gave 'em
extra food and water.
That's good.
And everybody is very
appreciative, sir.
Yeah, they are?
Well, why the hell are we
behind schedule, Victor?
The-the-the crew,
they're working
around the clock.
Yeah?
And there's nothing
more we can do.
Yeah? Okay.
All right, you say...
No, you touch him,
I'll knock you out.
But he's very sick.
Yeah, he's sick.
Everybody is sick.
Look at him.
If we treat one of 'em,
we have to treat all of 'em.
Do you understand that?
They'll stop working.
Then what do we have, huh?
I want you to keep him there, so
everybody can see as an example.
People, tomorrow we go home,
but tonight we finish.
I said send the car.
What is it?
It's Ryan.
Ryan, again?
Again.
Victor!
Leave him alone.
This supposed to be a chokehold?
'Cause I really shouldn't
be able to talk.
Let me go, or I'll kill you.
Let me know when I'm dead.
Ahh!
Helicopter ride.
You better not have
just gave me rabies,
or I'll drag you all
the way to the border.
Nice escape, monkey nuts.
All right, stop screwing around.
Time to get up and walk,
you little d-bag.
You really don't get it.
My dad owns this whole town,
including the cops.
Your friends, they're dead,
dead unless you
take me back, now!
It's 300 miles
to the border, moron.
You really think
you're gonna carry me
the whole way?
Whoo!
Smells like hell.
You might as well
get used to it.
No point in wearing
your voice out.
No tracks out here
but ours, so...
Yeah, I'll miss you, too.
Perfect place for a little turd.
Oh, god.
Oh, this was so dumb,
but I love...
I love how Boone manages
to get out just fine.
Yeah.
Think he's all right?
I am, uh, comandante Munoz.
Are you both okay?
Yeah, I think we're all right.
I'm sorry that we don't
have nicer accommodations.
Uh, hopefully, we'll
clear this up quickly.
Thank you.
I, uh, I think there's
been a misunderstanding.
You see, our friend,
Ryan Davenport,
he invited us down here,
but now they're saying...
Don't lie, miss Sanders.
I have seen your
television show.
I actually enjoy it very much.
Well, then you know
the man we're pursuing
was to go on trial today
for murdering a young woman.
Check on this story.
I find this very troubling.
If true, we will pursue
his extradition,
but it must be done through
Mexican authorities,
and to do that, we must
bring Ryan in
before anyone is hurt.
Perhaps, with your technology,
you might be able to contact
or locate your friend.
You-you know, if he's
still wearing his transmitter,
I can find him.
I-I'll just need
my laptop from the Van.
I'll see what I can do.
Denny, he's lying.
I know.
Maybe he'll keep playing nice
if he thinks we're helping.
Yes, punch buggy Boone.
How am I the only one
that doesn't know
how to hotwire a car?
Boone yeah.
Come on.
There's your problem.
No engine.
That's a nice truck.
Milli, Vanilli.
Ooh, this is gonna be sick.
I just wish they
had the cameras here.
Oh, no bueno.
Where is Ryan?
He's in the crapper.
Hey.
Okay, okay, let's talk, guys.
Let go of my vest!
Officers!
Hey, hey, okay.
I'm actually glad you're here.
What are you doing?
Don't kill him.
We need him to find Ryan.
Only way you can
follow me is on Twitter.
You better hope
we find this kid.
Okay, I should be able to
pinpoint his transmitter,
but I'm gonna have
to remote the signal
through our office
in Los Angeles,
and that means I'm gonna
have to give my producer
a call to Grant access.
Okay.
We'll call later.
Okay.
There's some new plans.
Come on.
Let's talk.
Sure.
I got some good news
and some bad news.
Let's go! Let's go!
Back in the cell!
Sit down!
See somethin' you like?
You'll be so beautiful
when you're dead.
As the comandante was saying,
there is good news,
and there is bad news.
Preference?
First starting with bad.
I'm afraid that
your friend, Boone,
is dead.
I'm sorry.
I made a terrible mistake.
That was the good news.
The bad news is,
they haven't found my son,
and that's especially
bad for you
because we don't
need you anymore.
You're done.
What about Jackson?
Jackson?
He must have gotten away
with Ryan.
Jackson?
I-I've seen their show.
There-there's
usually another.
Let us call Jackson.
We can arrange a trade,
us for Ryan.
You do that.
Tess, come on!
When they find Ryan, we're dead.
Help, help, help, help!
Help!
Boone?
Boone?
Ugh!
Oh, you're okay.
America.
Sleep with your lights on.
This ain't flipper.
This is jaws.
Mmm...
I smell tacos.
Boone! Boone!
I see him! I see him!
Ahh!
Come on.
You're in big trouble, tiny.
Boone, I'm about to serve you up
a piece of humble pie.
I hope you're hungry
for some rocky road,
'cause this marshmallow
is about to kick
some chocolate nuts.
This one's called
a ghetto massage.
You like that, huh?
Senor Boone!
They call that
the Boone special.
You did this?
My dad.
He's the best doctor in town.
You're awake.
Yeah.
Thanks for patching me up, doc.
You're very lucky.
The bullet hit something
on your vest.
Here.
Well, that's what
I call a great headshot.
Seems like Miguelito was
following you today,
fortunately for you.
Nice work, deputy.
You've been unconscious
for about three hours now.
I need to go.
No, no, no.
You need to eat, all right?
One moment.
I'll be right back.
Hey, Miguel.
Are there any phones in town?
Not many.
, senor Davenport's.
I know they're at
the police station.
And that one.
Boone the bounty hunter.
Boone!
Where the hell are you?
Hey, look.
I'll be outta here
any minute, okay?
My-my producer
is gonna call back,
and then I'm gone.
Okay.
Um, how much for
that old pickup?
Name your price.
My producer can wire money
within the hour.
If they catch you in my truck,
they'll know we helped you.
Then all your money
will mean nothing.
Uh, excuse me.
You can use my bike.
Thanks, deputy.
Two hundred miles of seat rash
might be the way to go.
Your mom is not really
a Boone fan, is she?
She doesn't understand
that you're here
to save us.
Here, take these.
If you're gonna be
a bounty hunter,
you should start
lookin' the part.
Hey, uh, kid, thanks
for everything.
Your parents are good people.
You should listen to 'em, okay?
And, uh, and-and-and
at school,
if someone offers you drugs,
don't do drugs,
'cause drugs can hurt
your brain development.
It-it's not good
for you.
It's gonna get in the way
of doin' what you wanna do,
get in the way of your dreams.
And if you have a dream,
you gotta follow your dreams
and don't take no for an answer.
Unless you're
with a-a-a senorita,
and, in that case, no means no.
And when you're out
in the desert, if it...
If it's windy,
you don't pee into the wind,
because you never
wanna pee in the wind.
You don't wanna pee
on yourself at all.
You know, that's gross.
Unless you get stung
by a jellyfish.
In that case, you-you
could pee on yourself
'cause that's
what you should do.
I think that works
for-for dog bites, also.
But if you're walking around
with pee on your pants,
people aren't gonna like that,
and it happened
to me once 'cause...
No, no.
Bueno.
Hold, please.
What's going on?
They're not there, Boone.
The local authorities
don't have them.
They let them go.
No.
They're saying
that Kat and Denny
were never in custody.
They're denying ever
having seen them.
Then you got the wrong town.
Right town!
And, Boone, they're
looking for you.
Something about
a bar fight this morning.
Yeah.
It was pretty wicked.
Boone, Kat and Denny
are in Mexican prison,
and the Federales are denying
ever having seen them.
They could be hurt, or in serious danger.
Olivia! Olivia!
Relax, okay?
Have you tried throwing
money at this?
Of course I have!
Well, then throw more.
Fricking catapult cash at this.
You're gonna have
a million extra bucks soon.
Boone, I told you not to go.
Maybe we should call the feds.
To do what?
Invade Mexico?
To put pressure on, you know?
If the cops have Kat
and Denny, then...
They'll just deny it!
They can't deny it, okay?
They can't.
The whole thing was
caught on tape.
You have the footage?
It's on Denny's computer.
I don't believe it's true,
Mr. Davenport.
No one at San Borracho
saw a fourth man.
I don't know who's
calling the Americans,
but I will find out.
It's Boone.
He must be calling.
Even if it was him,
we can't depend on him, Denny.
Hey, what's happening?
I'm tired of these games
you're playing, miss Sanders.
It's time for the truth.
Please, stop.
You, come out.
No, no.
No, no, no.
You need... you need us.
You need us to get Ryan.
All right,
we-we can fix this.
You don't... you don't have
to hurt me, all right?
Look, uh, come on.
Look, I-i can tell you...
I can tell you where
they are, all right?
Kat!
Kat, you okay?
Come on.
Cables, dry stuff.
Why did we bring
this big-ass light?
Damn it.
Guys.
Boone.
Kat, you gonna put the gun down?
I'm still deciding.
He came back for us, Kat.
He came back for the Van.
No, just prepping
the getaway vehicle.
Give me the keys.
Wait...
What are you doing in there?
I was looking for the...
You looking for this?
Yes, yes, and Denny
saves the show.
That's why you came back.
What? No.
I knew you guys
would both be okay.
You jackass.
Get in the Van, Denny.
We almost died today,
and nothing else should
have mattered to you!
Get in the Van, you guys.
Is he alive?
He's in shock.
Soaked the shoulder.
Nothing vital,
but it's a gusher.
He won't last long like that.
Boone the bounty hunter.
You're not gonna Boone me!
All right, Schlesinger,
you just got booned.
Where is he?
Who? Who?
It's just us.
Hey, hey, what are you doing?
We know he called
from this number!
He broke in.
Tried to kill us.
I swear.
You have to protect us.
He said, if we said
anything at all to anyone,
he would come back for our son.
You just got Boone'd.
America, you're welcome.
Their bullet pierced
through the cooling hose.
It should be an easy fix.
And our other patient?
We have to stop the bleeding.
I'll have to stitch him up.
How long to do both?
I don't know, 20,
maybe 30 minutes.
Way to go, bro.
We did it.
Did what?
Almost die?
We're back together.
I mean, Denny's got
a cool new scar
to attract the babes.
We still have footage
for a killer show.
We just need to pick up
the ending and go home.
The ending?
I got the Davenport kid stashed
in a crapper south of town.
We'll pick him up and...
Stop, okay?
Do you see any cameras, Boone?
Just turn it off.
Stop being this.
We're not getting
Ryan Davenport.
I'm trying to save
everyone's jobs, okay?
You just said 20 or 30 minutes.
I mean, I'll get Ryan.
You fix Denny and the Van.
This could be a good thing.
Don't get negative.
The glass isn't always
half full, Boone.
Hey, my glass is
always half full.
Even when it's all the way full,
it's at half full.
I'm getting Davenport.
I quit.
I quit, too.
You picked a bad time
to wake up.
This is gonna hurt like hell.
Just do it fast.
Here, I'll hold him down.
Don't touch me, Boone.
Just go away.
Fine, I'll get back
to L.A. on my own.
A million bucks says
I get there first.
Oh, god.
What are you doin' here?
I need a ride.
And then I need
to borrow your car.
Leave.
Are you okay?
You have no idea
what you've done.
They're all here.
You've got to go.
Who? Davenport's men?
No.
Wait, wait, no.
Pedro.
You!
They-they come for you.
They said we help you.
They have taken Miguelito.
Why? Why?
Why you do this?
I can help.
I can fix this!
Damn it, Walker. Do somethin'.
I can fix this.
Oh!
Come on!
Wait!
What was that?
It's Boone.
He's back at the bar.
I think you better leave.
You're letting him go?
He'll live with his regrets
just like the rest of us.
No.
I'm getting Miguel.
M-Miguel?
Is that the kid?
Oh, my god.
How?
I have something
Davenport wants.
I have his son.
Davenport will never let
you and that boy out alive.
Then just Miguel.
You and your friends
should have never come.
My friends aren't
a part of this.
They didn't do anything
wrong except trust me.
I should have trusted them.
So, you're attacking
Davenport all alone.
If I have to, yeah.
I wanna do something right.
Cole Davenport running
this town is about
as wrong as-as that
spelling of liquor.
It just ain't right.
Wait.
For 13 years,
I've been telling myself
the best way to stay alive
is to do nothin'.
How many have we watched
suffer and die
so that we can tell ourselves
that this is living?
I'm with ya.
Us, too.
Yeah, somebody's gotta
watch your back.
Well, bounty hunter, you got us.
What do you want us to do?
Let's just hope turd junior
is where I left him.
Oh, yes, bubbles...
Bubbles, bubbles, bubble.
Hey, hey, hey!
It's me, Ryan Davenport!
Let me out!
I'll give you $10,000
if you just let me out!
That's like a billion pesos!
Ten thou?
I got leather pants
that cost more than that.
Shit!
The Van has entered
the site perimeter.
Grab the kid.
You stink so bad.
Hilarious.
Enjoy your last
few minutes of life.
Let the kid go.
As soon as he clears
the horizon,
you can have back Ryan.
I like the boy.
I don't think so.
The only way you're
gettin' your son back
is if you let the kid go.
I don't want him back.
What?
Well, that plan
didn't last long.
- What do you wanna do?
- Phase two.
Walker and his guys
aren't in position yet.
Improvise.
Okay, just give me 30 seconds.
Dad, come on.
Dad, shoot him!
You're bluffing.
You don't get it, jungle boy.
None of you, including my son,
will ever go back
to the United States.
They're all yours.
Have fun with it.
Come on.
What is that?
There.
What is that?
Move, move!
Now, now!
All right, you better
get outta the way!
Run!
He's on the side
of the main building.
You good?
Mm-hmm.
Boom, there it is.
Come on, folks.
Move, move, move,
let's go!
Boone, we got your back, man.
Get the kid.
Denny, a little help?
All right, I'm on their network.
Security feed is coming on now.
Denny, did Davenport
get these guys
on Craig's list?
And there we go.
I got ya.
Boone, duck!
Ahh!
Where to?
Stand by.
There you are.
They're heading up.
Davenport's got Miguel
in the stairway.
What now?
Down this hallway.
To your right.
You should never pull
a knife in a Boone fight.
Boone, get Miguel.
You can't take her yourself.
We've met.
She's not that good.
Damn, I wish I could watch this.
You ready?
To the roof.
They're going to the helipad.
Boone, turn left here.
All right. Now, at
the end of the hallway,
there's gonna be a packing room.
Go through it.
Find the stairway.
Go all the way up.
Copy that.
I don't have time for this.
Hey!
Dad, wait!
Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait!
It's me.
Wait, dad!
Dad.
Dad! Dad?
Get over here!
Boone, Miguel got away,
but now Ryan's after him.
They're heading your way.
Boone, hurry!
Denny, you're gonna
have to send someone else
to get Miguel.
There is no one else.
I'm sorry, Denny.
I should have
listened to Jackson.
Hold on, Boone!
Help's comin'.
Okay, I'll read
to you next time.
I promise.
Get some sleep.
Denny.
D-Denny?
Jackson, turn on your computer!
Boone needs you!
Hold on. Hold on.
Slow-slow down.
Now, wait. What?
Denny? I think someone's
trying to get in the Van.
Denny?
Oh, man.
Boone?
You alive?
Jackson?
Are you okay?
You were right, man.
I'm sorry.
We're all good, bro.
I just need you to listen to me.
Get ready to scoot to the left
and take out this big guy
that's coming to you, right now.
In two, one...
Now, Boone, now!
Yes!
Get the hell outta there!
Why are you slowing down?
- Run!
- Where?
Away.
Turn this son of a bitch around.
Those guys are trained fighters.
You can't fight them
straight up.
You gotta Boone them.
Towards the 3 o'clock.
Go!
Pick these guys apart, man.
Do some of that flippy stuff
you do, man.
Behind you.
Here comes milli.
Sack him.
Drop kick.
Yeah, that's it!
That's it.
You got it.
Find a way to
get him off his feet.
To your right!
Got it.
Kick the barrel.
Remember that time you
Boone'd carrot top?
Same move!
Hit it, now.
Yeah!
He's hurt, man.
He's hurt bad.
No!
One down, one to go.
Oh, damn. Get out.
Get out.
Get the hell outta there.
Time to die, you bastards.
Come around.
Helicopter.
No.
I knew you had this.
Good job, Boone.
Thanks, bro.
Bring everyone home.
Hell yeah.
One, two, three.
Holy crap.
Get back here!
It's over, Ryan!
Ryan, don't.
Let him go.
It's the only way
you're gonna get
outta here alive.
Good show,
Boone the bounty hunter,
but this episode will
not have a happy ending!
That's too bad.
I was really hoping this
could be a Boone special.
Senor Davenport,
you got Boone'd!
Nice work, deputy.
A-team is right here.
Solid!
Hey!
Hey.
Hey.
You all right, bro?
Yeah, how's your leg?
All right, there, man.
Hey, I-i hope
you guys don't mind,
but when I was tapping into
the security cameras,
I, uh...
I hit record.
It's an all new season
of "Boone
the bounty hunter."
You just got Boone'd.
America, you're welcome.
Starring Denny.
Bad things are happening.
Boone, duck!
Kat.
Incoming.
Jackson.
Yeah!
And Boone.
Bad guys always run.
You can't take her yourself.
We've met.
She's not that good.
It's real action.
Boone cam.
I knew you had this.
Couldn't do it without my team.
They're putting bad guys
in traction, again.
"Boone the bounty hunter,"
an all new season this fall.
Oh, there you are.
We are all set.
With Davenport
out of the picture,
the territory is wide open.
I just made you a very rich man.
When can you move in?
Here we go.
Shooting now.
Ready and action.
Boone time!
Whoo!
Run, you goober.
Kevin Sorbo,
you just got booned.
It's a lot better
than being boned.
Pardon us, ma'am.
At least, well,
at least, you-you know,
being a fashion diva pays off.
Yes. Booned by ya...
How do you say that sh...
Boone voyage.
Just a parking ticket!
Get off me.
You want some excitement?
Three, two, one, action.
Perfect timing.
Boone. Boone.
Boone. Boone. Boone.
Boone. Boone.
Boone. Boone. Boone.
Boone.
Ooh, yeah.
Cut!
Cut, cut, cut.
Camera cut.
Cut.
Welcome to Boone county,
population you.
Kick him in the nuts!
In the nuts!
Oh.
Dude, you good?
Back to one.
And reset and rolling.
Give me the gun.
Where is the glass?
Huh? Okay.
You don't mess with me!
There you go.
Three.
And drink your milk
and eat your veggies.
Keep 'em separate, though.
You don't make friends
if you smell like farts.
Never pet a porcupine in
the wrong direction.
Don't wear the same clothes
more than three days in a row.
You wanna get a Jimmy hat.
Don't ride a motorcycle
with your mouth open.
Don't do drugs.
Hold on. Hold on.
Haven't you had enough?
No.
And you wanna know why?
'Cause I don't start
fights I can't lose.
No, that's not it.
That's not it at all.
But it sounded convincing.
Well, fine.
If it'll help the show,
I'll just hook up with Denny.
What?
M'Kay.
All right, sorry.
I messed up that...
Here comes the Boone.
You got this, Boone.
Okay, now.
Get off me!
Shut up, Chavo.
Hey!
Okay, let's get him.
You got the handcuffs, right?
Oh, no. Damn.
I forgot the handcuffs.
Again, Boone?
Again?
How am I gonna fit handcuffs
into leather pants, bro?
Hey, just let him go.
Just let him go.
Okay, let's let him go.
You're welcome.
And cut!
Get on the ground!
Come on!
Ooh, surf's up.
You're goin' down, Sorbo.
Run for your life, goober!
Ha-ha!
Whoo!
Stop chasing me, you freak!
Ahh!
Pardon us, ma'am.
Oh!
Yeah! Oh!
Keep running.
Just parking tickets.
Come on!
I'm only an actor.
Go, dude!
Denny, here he comes.
Dude, why you lookin'
at the copter?
Run!
Run!
Booney!
Welcome to Boone county.
Ha-ha!
Jackson.
Already there.
Oh, oh, oh!
How did I go from hunting
Hussein to Hercules?
I've done a lot of other
movies and TV shows
since that was on
the air, buddy.
But that was your best work.
This sucks.
Ow, that hurt.
Ugh.
The only legendary journey
you're gonna be taking is...
Your face to the floor.
Don't make me laugh, man.
That's not funny.
Kevin Sorbo,
you just got Boone'd.
America, you're welcome.
Overseas, he served our country.
Kicked ass in Baghdad.
Time to get outta here.
Now, he's back home,
serving ass whoopings
to d-bags here in America.
Whoo!
"Boone the bounty hunter."
You just got Boone'd.
America, you're welcome.
Stop!
It's just a parking ticket!
Get off me.
Hey, there you go!
Son of a bitch!
Damn.
You guys are about
to get Boone'd.
It's radical action.
He's putting
bad guys in traction.
Seven unpaid parking tickets.
What are you talking about, man?
Parking tickets.
Dude, I live in Beverly hills.
Plans are for goobers.
Starring... Boone.
Surf's up, dirtbag.
Whoo, I got Boone'd!
Yeah!
Also starring Denny,
Jackson, and Kat.
Here comes the Boone.
America, you're welcome.
Good job, everybody.
Let's finish strong.
Get up.
Ow!
You dislocated my shoulder.
Ahh!
It's Boone from TV!
Boone be the glory.
Need these?
Yeah.
Crazy.
Zeus would be disappointed.
Oh, stop it with
the Hercules references.
Can I have your autograph?
Hey, ladies.
Autograph?
I could write a poem
on these things.
Amazing, just amazing.
That was way,
way too rough, man.
Shut up.
Totally unnecessary!
God!
Hey, hey, hey, this is
gonna air before my movie
comes out next month, right?
I'm sure it will.
Okay, good.
Hercules.
It's Hercules.
Boone fans, your Van's
waiting across the street.
Come on, and, uh, don't forget
to sign your release forms.
Hey, tweet me later, okay?
Hashtag...
You okay, foxy grandma?
Yeah.
Listen, if anything
back there was damaged,
let me know.
I'll get production to cover it.
You-you-you're
the bounty hunter from TV.
In the flesh.
And if there's anything
I can do for you,
just name it.
Maybe I could get a autograph.
Absolutely.
Hey, wicked party, Ryan.
You're welcome.
No, no, no, no.
Shh.
Yes, yes, yes.
I've already had way too much.
Oh, this is good for you.
Yo, Ryan, your guy is here.
Dominic, my favorite customer.
Champagne?
No, wait, sorry.
This one's special.
Ryan, I didn't come to drink.
Oh, you came
to hang out with me?
That's so sweet.
You didn't get it again,
did you?
Oh, wait, uh, did you...
Did you come here for...
This?
There's nothin' else like it...
Pure, potent,
and undetectable to dogs.
Not too much.
My daddy makes it extra strong.
Oh, hey, that was mine,
you bad girl.
You know that's expensive.
Don't waste it.
Damn it.
A couple big cases
came out last night,
and we need a season finale.
No more c-listers,
not unless it's for a felony.
Kathy Griffin...
She skipped four counts
of indecent exposure.
Hey, that's a crime
against humanity.
So, you want Boone
to tackle Kathy Griffin?
She'd put a better fight
than Kevin Sorbo.
Let's be serious, people.
Our ratings are down.
We need big numbers
to guarantee season six.
Olivia.
The network is on hold for you.
I'll be right back.
Just pick one.
Well, anything new?
No, it's just
the same crap as usual.
Hey, I got somethin' new.
An Rf camera with
a five-mile range,
and it follows
whoever wears this.
Hey.
I think it likes you, Denny.
Yeah.
All right.
That's pretty cool.
You know how our cameras
sometimes tip off the skip?
Well, if we know
a location beforehand,
we hide these before
anyone gets there.
What kinda movies
you makin', man?
Oh, yeah, yeah,
you know you like it.
Boone!
Hallway.
Now, please?
What is it this time?
Execs wanna cancel the show.
They're bluffing.
Just some suits trying to
score a better deal.
It's real, Boone.
Our numbers are way down
two years in a row.
Next season will be our last.
What if our last episode
does huge numbers?
It's not going to, Boone.
People don't care anymore.
They think this is staged.
Well, then go back
to how we started.
Let's find a real bad guy.
Make headlines.
Boone, I'm sorry.
Cage Bickle.
Hey, colonel, what's crackin'?
Boone?
Yep.
I need some help.
Get a therapist.
With a case.
Remember that favor you owe me?
All right, look, Boone, you
know you're not supposed to be
calling me here at the office.
Well, if you picked up
your cell...
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I am super busy with some
monster cases, right now.
Yeah, look, I get it.
In fact, my cell is ringin'.
Look, Boone, I gotta go.
I gotta take this call.
Give me two minutes.
I wish I could.
I'll call you back.
I promise.
This is cage.
Hey, colonel, long time no talk.
What the hell do you want?
A case, somethin' hot.
Is this for your TV show?
I'm still a bounty hunter first,
the best you ever worked with.
You know DEA can't be
sharing intel with civilians.
I'm good at keepin' secrets.
You know that.
And after this, we're even?
What do ya got?
Get in, babe.
Let's test your
snorkeling skills.
It feels fizzy.
Taste it.
Like, now you're afraid
of what goes in your mouth?
Come on.
Try it.
Champagne infused.
Costs me 12 large every
time I fill it up.
Ryan!
Oh, damn it.
Just if he asks
you any questions,
you don't speak English.
Ryan!
Jump on in.
You, too, sexy tessy.
Did you share anything with her?
Oh, a couple times.
She's a grand an hour.
You really think
I would waste a second
talking about my dad?
You're Cole Davenport?
Oh, come on, shut it.
No, no, no.
Please, I-i want to know
more about my son's friends.
She's not a friend.
She's a whore.
Even better.
Ryan was telling me
about your new product.
I have people high up
in distribution
who could really...
Oh, my god!
Now, I have to drain
the whole thing!
That's not water, dad!
That's wasteful!
You wanna talk about waste?
Waste is when you have
a warehouse full of people
slaving for ten months
to produce enough product
for one massive shipment,
and then I have my son
steal some of the product,
use it with his girlfriend,
and now she's dead on the floor!
That was an accident.
Well, you know what?
Your accident now has my product
in her bloodstream.
You know what that means?
The feds know what to look for.
So, I want you to get
your ass out of that pool,
because I need to go
down to the plant
to speed up production,
and you are comin' with me.
No!
I can't have you mouthin'
off to the FBI.
I mean...
Come on, I wouldn't
rat on you, dad.
No, dumbass.
You never will.
Tess here has invited
the Cardoza brothers.
I guarantee you they will
take care of you.
Oh, come on, I don't
need babysitters.
No more parties, no more whores,
no more loose ends.
No more screw-ups.
Ryan Davenport,
trust fund kid charged with
the second degree murder
of candy Charley.
Cops found her body
on the side of route 101
with enough rohypnol
in her system
to knock out a rhinoceros.
And... get this.
They found a new designer drug
in her system, too.
I'm telling you guys,
we nab this weasel,
and he leads them to
the snoopy sauce.
It's huge.
Hey, uh, Boone,
this is a real case.
Yeah, this isn't
hog-tying Kardashians.
We're a TV show.
We were a TV show.
You didn't tell them?
This is our last episode.
Damn.
Not if we score massive
ratings by Booneing
a spoiled d-bag who buys
his way out of trouble.
Okay, his trial starts tomorrow.
How do you even
know he's gonna skip?
He already did, this morning.
He left the state?
Oh, yeah, he's a skipper.
Where-where'd
you get these?
A friend at the DEA.
Hmm.
So, you know where he went?
Grab your margaritas, senoritas.
We're going to Mexico.
We could be there by morning
and back by sunset.
Morning, like tomorrow morning?
No way.
We need intel on
this guy, this town.
We need gear.
Mexico is a stopover
for this creep.
We gotta strike fast.
Come on, man.
You know Mexico don't
like bounty hunters.
He's right.
They'll let Davenport go
and charge us with abduction.
We're just nicely
asking the murderer
if he'll take a ride
back to L.A. with us.
If we get busted,
which we won't,
we all know it's just
a matter of pesos
to get us out.
We don't have a budget anymore.
The bail was 10 mil.
That's a million dollar bounty.
We're not going...
End of discussion.
Yo, Boone!
Never was good at
following orders.
That's why you love me, right?
Yeah, you're right,
but I'm still not goin'.
What?
And you guys shouldn't, either.
Denny, you know this is crazy.
Boone says it's an easy score.
Kat.
Hey, since I'm out of a job,
I could use the million bucks,
and somebody needs
to watch their asses.
Let's grab the last
of our gear, Denny.
I might not be able to stop
them from following you,
but maybe I can stop you from
leading them into trouble.
Come on, man.
I thought you liked trouble.
I like my wife and my kids more.
Are they the type of kids
that like to eat?
Man, I'm trying to
save our jobs.
Maybe it's time to
find new jobs.
Doing what?
Watching the door
at some club on sunset?
No, man, we worked
too hard for too long.
You think we're gonna
find another gig
that pays this well
to crush bad guys?
Oh, is-is that
what we're doin'?
Yeah.
Look, you're the best soldier
I ever fought with.
But, Boone,
trust me on this one.
You're making a huge
mistake this time.
Talking about going to Mexico.
You don't know that place.
Think.
I am thinking.
I can take care of myself.
You're supposed to take care
of everyone else, too.
It's official.
We're completely off the grid.
What? Damn it.
How am I supposed to
tweet this epic selfie
to the Booneatics?
How will the twitverse survive?
You know, Kat,
I've been thinkin'.
Don't hurt yourself.
We need to relieve the
sexual tension between us.
When we get back
to L.A.,
I think you should
come over to my place.
We'll crack open some beers
and watch some pro wrestling.
Come over.
I'll-I'll show you
some moves.
We could do
some Pilates, some yoga,
you know, Wednesday night stuff.
A showmance could
help the ratings.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I'd do it to save
everyone's jobs.
Fine.
If it'll help the show,
I'll just hook up with Denny.
Look, there are people
in this town.
Yeah, two.
Where is everybody?
What the hell?
Oh, what's this guy's story?
Hey, want some water?
Agua?
Yeah.
Uh, no.
No, take it, man.
You need it.
No.
And some lip balm.
Okay, but if you get thirsty
and change your mind,
it's right there.
Hey, what's the sign say?
It means lazy.
You're Boone the hunter.
See?
They do know me down here.
What's with him?
He broke the rules.
You're here to stop the bad men?
That's right, one of the worst.
What's your name, kid?
Miguel.
So, Miguel...
How would you like to be
a deputy bounty hunter?
Any new gringos come
to town yesterday?
No.
Calm down, chief.
I got a card for you, too.
You want senor Davenport.
The kid said this is the place.
Camera one online and recording.
Come on.
Let's be ready to rock.
Boone cam set.
Boone cam check.
Gross.
Okay, got Denny cam.
Denny cam check.
Blaaah.
Grosser.
Can you give me some levels?
Ryan Davenport,
the weatherman's predicting
hail in your future
because I'm about to come at ya
like a bag of quarters
in a strip club.
Perfect.
Kat cam is hot.
We've got the remotes.
Just remember we gotta
stay half a mile
from the Van so we can
record the feeds.
Incoming.
Yahtzee.
We got him.
How do we handle them?
Hmm.
Looks like these guys
found a buy one,
get one free sale
on polyester goon suits.
Denny can take 'em.
Hey, look...
He's ditching his bodyguards.
Now is our chance.
Wait, wait, hold up
a sec, Kittycat.
What?
Why?
Boone, let's go.
We can cut him off before
they catch up.
Davenport's still in the bar.
Kid went in wearing
lucchese boots
worth at least 11 thou.
The guy that came out
was in sneakers.
I guess being a fashion diva
has its perks.
Yep.
Let's go Boone this chump stain.
Boone voyage, Ryan Davenport.
Group Boone.
Let's Boone him.
All right, guys.
Let's Boone this kid.
Settle down on the
Boone-Boone phrases.
Boone... I'm
gonna Boone this kid
into next Tuesday.
Hmm.
You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Probably not as advanced.
You two set the cameras.
I'll probe her for information.
At least that
won't take too long.
Well, hello, muscles.
Is it hot in here,
or is it just you?
What can I do for you?
And remember,
I can do everything.
I'm lookin' for somebody.
Oh, perfect.
I'm a somebody.
What type of place
is this anyway?
The kind where you
don't ask questions.
Where is Ryan Davenport?
See, that's a question,
and here's the only answer
that matters in this town.
Don't mess with anyone
named Davenport.
Margarita, blended,
half sugar,
half salt on the rim.
Interesting place, homey.
What's going on?
Fiesta? Rodeo?
Chicas back there,
dudes with hats?
Hablo Ingles?
No? Okay.
Whoa.
What's up with your face?
My name is Boone
the bounty hunter.
I'm lookin' for a piece of trash
named Ryan Davenport.
You know where Ryan is, chief?
Thirsty, huh?
This round is on me.
Speak English?
Do you know where Ryan is?
I don't think so, brother.
You don't think so.
Yeah.
He doesn't think so.
Okay, then.
Ha-ha!
A-Boone-a-matata,
goober.
Ahh!
I had him!
Where's Ryan?
Upstairs.
Where's the stairs?
Over there.
Hello, Ryan, ladies.
Who the hell are you?
I'm the trash collector.
Do you have any idea who I am?
Yeah, you're the trash.
So, I'm guessing you
haven't seen my show.
The bad guys always run.
Hmm.
I'm keeping the Chipotle card.
I'll go get the Van.
Yah.
Good job, Boone.
I'm gonna cuff him.
No, no, no.
This is our season finale.
We still gotta Boone the crap
out of the roofie kid here.
I think we're gonna
win an Emmy for this.
I don't know, Boone.
He doesn't look so good.
He's okay.
Yep, yep.
See? See?
What about the police?
Maybe we should just drive.
You guys drive.
I'll run.
Here comes justice, Davenprick.
Yeah!
Hey, man!
Is that all you got?
That looks fun.
I haven't seen a man like that
around here in ten years.
A man without a brain?
A man who doesn't know
he's already dead?
He ain't your savior, Sylvia.
Damn it, Walker.
Cole Davenport takes
everything from us.
Haven't you had enough?
No, and you wanna know why?
Why?
Because I don't start
fights I can't win.
Boone-a-gram
for Ryan Davenport.
Yeah!
You're gonna get Boone'd.
Ryan Davenport,
you just got Boone'd.
America, you're welcome.
Okay.
We gotta get outta here.
Hands up!
Uh, bad things...
Bad things are happening.
How many cops are there?
Forget it, Boone.
We can't assault officers.
Just get Ryan out of here.
Boone, just hide.
Just hide.
They're coming.
Don't get negative.
Stay positive, okay?
Glass is half full.
Worst case scenario,
you go to jail for a few days.
I-I don't think that's
the worst case scenario.
Remember that guy on the street?
He was just being lazy.
I'm gonna take the Davenport kid
across the border,
cash in the bounty.
Wait... you're gonna
go home without us?
Then we'll have a million
bucks to get you out.
Tell them that.
Tell them you can pay.
Guera, out.
Yeah, sorry.
Mr. Victor.
Mr. Davenport,
how are you?
Huh? So, you
finally did somethin'
I told you to do, huh?
You gave 'em
extra food and water.
That's good.
And everybody is very
appreciative, sir.
Yeah, they are?
Well, why the hell are we
behind schedule, Victor?
The-the-the crew,
they're working
around the clock.
Yeah?
And there's nothing
more we can do.
Yeah? Okay.
All right, you say...
No, you touch him,
I'll knock you out.
But he's very sick.
Yeah, he's sick.
Everybody is sick.
Look at him.
If we treat one of 'em,
we have to treat all of 'em.
Do you understand that?
They'll stop working.
Then what do we have, huh?
I want you to keep him there, so
everybody can see as an example.
People, tomorrow we go home,
but tonight we finish.
I said send the car.
What is it?
It's Ryan.
Ryan, again?
Again.
Victor!
Leave him alone.
This supposed to be a chokehold?
'Cause I really shouldn't
be able to talk.
Let me go, or I'll kill you.
Let me know when I'm dead.
Ahh!
Helicopter ride.
You better not have
just gave me rabies,
or I'll drag you all
the way to the border.
Nice escape, monkey nuts.
All right, stop screwing around.
Time to get up and walk,
you little d-bag.
You really don't get it.
My dad owns this whole town,
including the cops.
Your friends, they're dead,
dead unless you
take me back, now!
It's 300 miles
to the border, moron.
You really think
you're gonna carry me
the whole way?
Whoo!
Smells like hell.
You might as well
get used to it.
No point in wearing
your voice out.
No tracks out here
but ours, so...
Yeah, I'll miss you, too.
Perfect place for a little turd.
Oh, god.
Oh, this was so dumb,
but I love...
I love how Boone manages
to get out just fine.
Yeah.
Think he's all right?
I am, uh, comandante Munoz.
Are you both okay?
Yeah, I think we're all right.
I'm sorry that we don't
have nicer accommodations.
Uh, hopefully, we'll
clear this up quickly.
Thank you.
I, uh, I think there's
been a misunderstanding.
You see, our friend,
Ryan Davenport,
he invited us down here,
but now they're saying...
Don't lie, miss Sanders.
I have seen your
television show.
I actually enjoy it very much.
Well, then you know
the man we're pursuing
was to go on trial today
for murdering a young woman.
Check on this story.
I find this very troubling.
If true, we will pursue
his extradition,
but it must be done through
Mexican authorities,
and to do that, we must
bring Ryan in
before anyone is hurt.
Perhaps, with your technology,
you might be able to contact
or locate your friend.
You-you know, if he's
still wearing his transmitter,
I can find him.
I-I'll just need
my laptop from the Van.
I'll see what I can do.
Denny, he's lying.
I know.
Maybe he'll keep playing nice
if he thinks we're helping.
Yes, punch buggy Boone.
How am I the only one
that doesn't know
how to hotwire a car?
Boone yeah.
Come on.
There's your problem.
No engine.
That's a nice truck.
Milli, Vanilli.
Ooh, this is gonna be sick.
I just wish they
had the cameras here.
Oh, no bueno.
Where is Ryan?
He's in the crapper.
Hey.
Okay, okay, let's talk, guys.
Let go of my vest!
Officers!
Hey, hey, okay.
I'm actually glad you're here.
What are you doing?
Don't kill him.
We need him to find Ryan.
Only way you can
follow me is on Twitter.
You better hope
we find this kid.
Okay, I should be able to
pinpoint his transmitter,
but I'm gonna have
to remote the signal
through our office
in Los Angeles,
and that means I'm gonna
have to give my producer
a call to Grant access.
Okay.
We'll call later.
Okay.
There's some new plans.
Come on.
Let's talk.
Sure.
I got some good news
and some bad news.
Let's go! Let's go!
Back in the cell!
Sit down!
See somethin' you like?
You'll be so beautiful
when you're dead.
As the comandante was saying,
there is good news,
and there is bad news.
Preference?
First starting with bad.
I'm afraid that
your friend, Boone,
is dead.
I'm sorry.
I made a terrible mistake.
That was the good news.
The bad news is,
they haven't found my son,
and that's especially
bad for you
because we don't
need you anymore.
You're done.
What about Jackson?
Jackson?
He must have gotten away
with Ryan.
Jackson?
I-I've seen their show.
There-there's
usually another.
Let us call Jackson.
We can arrange a trade,
us for Ryan.
You do that.
Tess, come on!
When they find Ryan, we're dead.
Help, help, help, help!
Help!
Boone?
Boone?
Ugh!
Oh, you're okay.
America.
Sleep with your lights on.
This ain't flipper.
This is jaws.
Mmm...
I smell tacos.
Boone! Boone!
I see him! I see him!
Ahh!
Come on.
You're in big trouble, tiny.
Boone, I'm about to serve you up
a piece of humble pie.
I hope you're hungry
for some rocky road,
'cause this marshmallow
is about to kick
some chocolate nuts.
This one's called
a ghetto massage.
You like that, huh?
Senor Boone!
They call that
the Boone special.
You did this?
My dad.
He's the best doctor in town.
You're awake.
Yeah.
Thanks for patching me up, doc.
You're very lucky.
The bullet hit something
on your vest.
Here.
Well, that's what
I call a great headshot.
Seems like Miguelito was
following you today,
fortunately for you.
Nice work, deputy.
You've been unconscious
for about three hours now.
I need to go.
No, no, no.
You need to eat, all right?
One moment.
I'll be right back.
Hey, Miguel.
Are there any phones in town?
Not many.
, senor Davenport's.
I know they're at
the police station.
And that one.
Boone the bounty hunter.
Boone!
Where the hell are you?
Hey, look.
I'll be outta here
any minute, okay?
My-my producer
is gonna call back,
and then I'm gone.
Okay.
Um, how much for
that old pickup?
Name your price.
My producer can wire money
within the hour.
If they catch you in my truck,
they'll know we helped you.
Then all your money
will mean nothing.
Uh, excuse me.
You can use my bike.
Thanks, deputy.
Two hundred miles of seat rash
might be the way to go.
Your mom is not really
a Boone fan, is she?
She doesn't understand
that you're here
to save us.
Here, take these.
If you're gonna be
a bounty hunter,
you should start
lookin' the part.
Hey, uh, kid, thanks
for everything.
Your parents are good people.
You should listen to 'em, okay?
And, uh, and-and-and
at school,
if someone offers you drugs,
don't do drugs,
'cause drugs can hurt
your brain development.
It-it's not good
for you.
It's gonna get in the way
of doin' what you wanna do,
get in the way of your dreams.
And if you have a dream,
you gotta follow your dreams
and don't take no for an answer.
Unless you're
with a-a-a senorita,
and, in that case, no means no.
And when you're out
in the desert, if it...
If it's windy,
you don't pee into the wind,
because you never
wanna pee in the wind.
You don't wanna pee
on yourself at all.
You know, that's gross.
Unless you get stung
by a jellyfish.
In that case, you-you
could pee on yourself
'cause that's
what you should do.
I think that works
for-for dog bites, also.
But if you're walking around
with pee on your pants,
people aren't gonna like that,
and it happened
to me once 'cause...
No, no.
Bueno.
Hold, please.
What's going on?
They're not there, Boone.
The local authorities
don't have them.
They let them go.
No.
They're saying
that Kat and Denny
were never in custody.
They're denying ever
having seen them.
Then you got the wrong town.
Right town!
And, Boone, they're
looking for you.
Something about
a bar fight this morning.
Yeah.
It was pretty wicked.
Boone, Kat and Denny
are in Mexican prison,
and the Federales are denying
ever having seen them.
They could be hurt, or in serious danger.
Olivia! Olivia!
Relax, okay?
Have you tried throwing
money at this?
Of course I have!
Well, then throw more.
Fricking catapult cash at this.
You're gonna have
a million extra bucks soon.
Boone, I told you not to go.
Maybe we should call the feds.
To do what?
Invade Mexico?
To put pressure on, you know?
If the cops have Kat
and Denny, then...
They'll just deny it!
They can't deny it, okay?
They can't.
The whole thing was
caught on tape.
You have the footage?
It's on Denny's computer.
I don't believe it's true,
Mr. Davenport.
No one at San Borracho
saw a fourth man.
I don't know who's
calling the Americans,
but I will find out.
It's Boone.
He must be calling.
Even if it was him,
we can't depend on him, Denny.
Hey, what's happening?
I'm tired of these games
you're playing, miss Sanders.
It's time for the truth.
Please, stop.
You, come out.
No, no.
No, no, no.
You need... you need us.
You need us to get Ryan.
All right,
we-we can fix this.
You don't... you don't have
to hurt me, all right?
Look, uh, come on.
Look, I-i can tell you...
I can tell you where
they are, all right?
Kat!
Kat, you okay?
Come on.
Cables, dry stuff.
Why did we bring
this big-ass light?
Damn it.
Guys.
Boone.
Kat, you gonna put the gun down?
I'm still deciding.
He came back for us, Kat.
He came back for the Van.
No, just prepping
the getaway vehicle.
Give me the keys.
Wait...
What are you doing in there?
I was looking for the...
You looking for this?
Yes, yes, and Denny
saves the show.
That's why you came back.
What? No.
I knew you guys
would both be okay.
You jackass.
Get in the Van, Denny.
We almost died today,
and nothing else should
have mattered to you!
Get in the Van, you guys.
Is he alive?
He's in shock.
Soaked the shoulder.
Nothing vital,
but it's a gusher.
He won't last long like that.
Boone the bounty hunter.
You're not gonna Boone me!
All right, Schlesinger,
you just got booned.
Where is he?
Who? Who?
It's just us.
Hey, hey, what are you doing?
We know he called
from this number!
He broke in.
Tried to kill us.
I swear.
You have to protect us.
He said, if we said
anything at all to anyone,
he would come back for our son.
You just got Boone'd.
America, you're welcome.
Their bullet pierced
through the cooling hose.
It should be an easy fix.
And our other patient?
We have to stop the bleeding.
I'll have to stitch him up.
How long to do both?
I don't know, 20,
maybe 30 minutes.
Way to go, bro.
We did it.
Did what?
Almost die?
We're back together.
I mean, Denny's got
a cool new scar
to attract the babes.
We still have footage
for a killer show.
We just need to pick up
the ending and go home.
The ending?
I got the Davenport kid stashed
in a crapper south of town.
We'll pick him up and...
Stop, okay?
Do you see any cameras, Boone?
Just turn it off.
Stop being this.
We're not getting
Ryan Davenport.
I'm trying to save
everyone's jobs, okay?
You just said 20 or 30 minutes.
I mean, I'll get Ryan.
You fix Denny and the Van.
This could be a good thing.
Don't get negative.
The glass isn't always
half full, Boone.
Hey, my glass is
always half full.
Even when it's all the way full,
it's at half full.
I'm getting Davenport.
I quit.
I quit, too.
You picked a bad time
to wake up.
This is gonna hurt like hell.
Just do it fast.
Here, I'll hold him down.
Don't touch me, Boone.
Just go away.
Fine, I'll get back
to L.A. on my own.
A million bucks says
I get there first.
Oh, god.
What are you doin' here?
I need a ride.
And then I need
to borrow your car.
Leave.
Are you okay?
You have no idea
what you've done.
They're all here.
You've got to go.
Who? Davenport's men?
No.
Wait, wait, no.
Pedro.
You!
They-they come for you.
They said we help you.
They have taken Miguelito.
Why? Why?
Why you do this?
I can help.
I can fix this!
Damn it, Walker. Do somethin'.
I can fix this.
Oh!
Come on!
Wait!
What was that?
It's Boone.
He's back at the bar.
I think you better leave.
You're letting him go?
He'll live with his regrets
just like the rest of us.
No.
I'm getting Miguel.
M-Miguel?
Is that the kid?
Oh, my god.
How?
I have something
Davenport wants.
I have his son.
Davenport will never let
you and that boy out alive.
Then just Miguel.
You and your friends
should have never come.
My friends aren't
a part of this.
They didn't do anything
wrong except trust me.
I should have trusted them.
So, you're attacking
Davenport all alone.
If I have to, yeah.
I wanna do something right.
Cole Davenport running
this town is about
as wrong as-as that
spelling of liquor.
It just ain't right.
Wait.
For 13 years,
I've been telling myself
the best way to stay alive
is to do nothin'.
How many have we watched
suffer and die
so that we can tell ourselves
that this is living?
I'm with ya.
Us, too.
Yeah, somebody's gotta
watch your back.
Well, bounty hunter, you got us.
What do you want us to do?
Let's just hope turd junior
is where I left him.
Oh, yes, bubbles...
Bubbles, bubbles, bubble.
Hey, hey, hey!
It's me, Ryan Davenport!
Let me out!
I'll give you $10,000
if you just let me out!
That's like a billion pesos!
Ten thou?
I got leather pants
that cost more than that.
Shit!
The Van has entered
the site perimeter.
Grab the kid.
You stink so bad.
Hilarious.
Enjoy your last
few minutes of life.
Let the kid go.
As soon as he clears
the horizon,
you can have back Ryan.
I like the boy.
I don't think so.
The only way you're
gettin' your son back
is if you let the kid go.
I don't want him back.
What?
Well, that plan
didn't last long.
- What do you wanna do?
- Phase two.
Walker and his guys
aren't in position yet.
Improvise.
Okay, just give me 30 seconds.
Dad, come on.
Dad, shoot him!
You're bluffing.
You don't get it, jungle boy.
None of you, including my son,
will ever go back
to the United States.
They're all yours.
Have fun with it.
Come on.
What is that?
There.
What is that?
Move, move!
Now, now!
All right, you better
get outta the way!
Run!
He's on the side
of the main building.
You good?
Mm-hmm.
Boom, there it is.
Come on, folks.
Move, move, move,
let's go!
Boone, we got your back, man.
Get the kid.
Denny, a little help?
All right, I'm on their network.
Security feed is coming on now.
Denny, did Davenport
get these guys
on Craig's list?
And there we go.
I got ya.
Boone, duck!
Ahh!
Where to?
Stand by.
There you are.
They're heading up.
Davenport's got Miguel
in the stairway.
What now?
Down this hallway.
To your right.
You should never pull
a knife in a Boone fight.
Boone, get Miguel.
You can't take her yourself.
We've met.
She's not that good.
Damn, I wish I could watch this.
You ready?
To the roof.
They're going to the helipad.
Boone, turn left here.
All right. Now, at
the end of the hallway,
there's gonna be a packing room.
Go through it.
Find the stairway.
Go all the way up.
Copy that.
I don't have time for this.
Hey!
Dad, wait!
Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait!
It's me.
Wait, dad!
Dad.
Dad! Dad?
Get over here!
Boone, Miguel got away,
but now Ryan's after him.
They're heading your way.
Boone, hurry!
Denny, you're gonna
have to send someone else
to get Miguel.
There is no one else.
I'm sorry, Denny.
I should have
listened to Jackson.
Hold on, Boone!
Help's comin'.
Okay, I'll read
to you next time.
I promise.
Get some sleep.
Denny.
D-Denny?
Jackson, turn on your computer!
Boone needs you!
Hold on. Hold on.
Slow-slow down.
Now, wait. What?
Denny? I think someone's
trying to get in the Van.
Denny?
Oh, man.
Boone?
You alive?
Jackson?
Are you okay?
You were right, man.
I'm sorry.
We're all good, bro.
I just need you to listen to me.
Get ready to scoot to the left
and take out this big guy
that's coming to you, right now.
In two, one...
Now, Boone, now!
Yes!
Get the hell outta there!
Why are you slowing down?
- Run!
- Where?
Away.
Turn this son of a bitch around.
Those guys are trained fighters.
You can't fight them
straight up.
You gotta Boone them.
Towards the 3 o'clock.
Go!
Pick these guys apart, man.
Do some of that flippy stuff
you do, man.
Behind you.
Here comes milli.
Sack him.
Drop kick.
Yeah, that's it!
That's it.
You got it.
Find a way to
get him off his feet.
To your right!
Got it.
Kick the barrel.
Remember that time you
Boone'd carrot top?
Same move!
Hit it, now.
Yeah!
He's hurt, man.
He's hurt bad.
No!
One down, one to go.
Oh, damn. Get out.
Get out.
Get the hell outta there.
Time to die, you bastards.
Come around.
Helicopter.
No.
I knew you had this.
Good job, Boone.
Thanks, bro.
Bring everyone home.
Hell yeah.
One, two, three.
Holy crap.
Get back here!
It's over, Ryan!
Ryan, don't.
Let him go.
It's the only way
you're gonna get
outta here alive.
Good show,
Boone the bounty hunter,
but this episode will
not have a happy ending!
That's too bad.
I was really hoping this
could be a Boone special.
Senor Davenport,
you got Boone'd!
Nice work, deputy.
A-team is right here.
Solid!
Hey!
Hey.
Hey.
You all right, bro?
Yeah, how's your leg?
All right, there, man.
Hey, I-i hope
you guys don't mind,
but when I was tapping into
the security cameras,
I, uh...
I hit record.
It's an all new season
of "Boone
the bounty hunter."
You just got Boone'd.
America, you're welcome.
Starring Denny.
Bad things are happening.
Boone, duck!
Kat.
Incoming.
Jackson.
Yeah!
And Boone.
Bad guys always run.
You can't take her yourself.
We've met.
She's not that good.
It's real action.
Boone cam.
I knew you had this.
Couldn't do it without my team.
They're putting bad guys
in traction, again.
"Boone the bounty hunter,"
an all new season this fall.
Oh, there you are.
We are all set.
With Davenport
out of the picture,
the territory is wide open.
I just made you a very rich man.
When can you move in?
Here we go.
Shooting now.
Ready and action.
Boone time!
Whoo!
Run, you goober.
Kevin Sorbo,
you just got booned.
It's a lot better
than being boned.
Pardon us, ma'am.
At least, well,
at least, you-you know,
being a fashion diva pays off.
Yes. Booned by ya...
How do you say that sh...
Boone voyage.
Just a parking ticket!
Get off me.
You want some excitement?
Three, two, one, action.
Perfect timing.
Boone. Boone.
Boone. Boone. Boone.
Boone. Boone.
Boone. Boone. Boone.
Boone.
Ooh, yeah.
Cut!
Cut, cut, cut.
Camera cut.
Cut.
Welcome to Boone county,
population you.
Kick him in the nuts!
In the nuts!
Oh.
Dude, you good?
Back to one.
And reset and rolling.
Give me the gun.
Where is the glass?
Huh? Okay.
You don't mess with me!
There you go.
Three.
And drink your milk
and eat your veggies.
Keep 'em separate, though.
You don't make friends
if you smell like farts.
Never pet a porcupine in
the wrong direction.
Don't wear the same clothes
more than three days in a row.
You wanna get a Jimmy hat.
Don't ride a motorcycle
with your mouth open.
Don't do drugs.
Hold on. Hold on.
Haven't you had enough?
No.
And you wanna know why?
'Cause I don't start
fights I can't lose.
No, that's not it.
That's not it at all.
But it sounded convincing.
Well, fine.
If it'll help the show,
I'll just hook up with Denny.
What?
M'Kay.
All right, sorry.
I messed up that...
Here comes the Boone.
You got this, Boone.
Okay, now.
Get off me!
Shut up, Chavo.
Hey!
Okay, let's get him.
You got the handcuffs, right?
Oh, no. Damn.
I forgot the handcuffs.
Again, Boone?
Again?
How am I gonna fit handcuffs
into leather pants, bro?
Hey, just let him go.
Just let him go.
Okay, let's let him go.
You're welcome.
And cut!