Cabin In The Woods, The (2011) Movie Script
It's hormonal.
I mean, I don't usually fall
back on.. It's women's issues.
But child-proofed how?
Gates and stuff?
Dude, she did the drawers.
We don't even know if this
whole fertility thing's gonna work..
she's screwed in these little jobbies
where you can't even open the drawers.
At all?
No. They open an inch,
then you gotta dig your finger in.
- It's a nightmare.
-I guess sooner or later..
Yeah, a lot later.
She did the upper cabinets.
Kid will be 30 before he can
reach them, assuming we have a kid.
It is natural for
her to feel protective.
Don't even.. You have women's issues.
Please. You of all people.
Oh, come on. It's a jinx.
It guarantees that
we won't get pregnant.
And it takes me about 20
minutes to get a fucking beer.
Guys. Guys!
Stockholm went south.
Seriously?
I thought they were looking good.
What cracked?
I haven't seen the footage.
Word's just going around
Well, that's never
been a stable scenario.
Everyone knows you can't trust Swedes.
That means there's just Japan.
Japan and us.
It's not the first time
it's come down to that.
Japan has a perfect record.
We're number two. We try harder.
If we fail, then..
Please. We haven't
had a glitch since '98.
We know what we're doing, Lin.
Or we have it written down..
somewhere.
You guys better not
be messing around in there.
Does this mean you're not in
the betting pool this year? Big money.
I'm just saying, it's a key scenario.
No, I hear what you're saying.
In '98, it was the chem
department's fault, right?
Where do you work, again?
Wait. It's coming back to me, now.
It's gonna be a long weekend
if everyone's that puckered up.
You wanna come over Monday night?
I'm gonna pick up some power drills.
Liberate my cabinets.
Are you even listening to me?
Professor fuckwad.
Why haven't you stuck that asshole's
picture on the dartboard yet?
It's not that simple
Oh, my God!
Your hair. It's blonde.
- Very fabulous, no?
I can't believe you did it.
-But very fabulous, right?
Hurry up with the "very fabulous."
I'm getting insecure about it now.
No, it looks awesome.
Curt's gonna lose it.
Curt's gonna thank me.
And so will you..
while we're burning this picture.
Not ready.
Seriously, this isn't his fault.
What's not his fault?
Fucking his student or
breaking up with her by email?
I knew what I was getting into.
Oh, please.
You know what you're
getting into this weekend?
This.
And if Holden's as
cute as Curt says he is..
possibly getting out of it.
That is the last thing that I want.
If you treat this like a setup,
I'm gonna have no fun at all.
I'm not pushing..
but we're packing this!
Which means we definitely
won't have room for..
What if I get bored?
These will help?
Soviet Economic Structures?
Aftermath of the..
No! We have a lake and a keg.
No more learning!
-Think fast.
Faster than that.
Sorry. Sorry. Move along.
Nice!
-Is that Holden?
We'll be right down.
He just transferred from State.
Best hands on the team.
He's a sweet guy.
And he's good with his hands.
I'm kinda seeing this girl..
but you're way blonder than she is.
But I was thinking, you know, maybe..
What is this?
What.. this?
What are you doing with these?
Okay, I get it. I'll leave the books.
No, who gave you these?
Who taught you about these?
I learned it from you, okay?
I learned it from watching you!
Seriously, Professor Bennett, he
covers this whole book in his lectures.
You should read this.
Gurovsky. Now this is way
more interesting.
Also, Bennett doesn't
know it by heart..
so he'll think you're insightful.
And you have no pants.
Oh, shit!
- That pretty much it?
-Fucking better be.
You know, Jules,
it's a weekend, not an evacuation.
Trust me when I say there
is nothing in those cases..
you won't be glad I brought.
I'm shutting' right up.
Oh, my God.
Marty!
Fuck is wrong with you, bro?
People in this town drive
in a very counterintuitive manner.
That's what I have to say.
Do you wanna spend
the weekend in jail?
We'd all like to check
out my cousin's country home.
Honey, that's not okay.
Statistical fact..
Cops will never pull over
a man with a huge bong in his car.
Why?
They fear this man.
They know he sees further than they..
and he will bind them
with ancient logics.
Have you gone gray?
You're not bringing
that thing in the Rambler.
What?
A giant bong in your father's van?
What are you, stoned?
Hey, man.
Dana, you fetching minx!
You have any food?
Everybody ready?
- Yeah!
Yeah?
- Okay, I'm ready!
Let's get this show on the road!
Nest is empty. We're right on time.
I hope this is the right road.
It doesn't even show up on the GPS.
It is unworthy of global positioning.
That's the whole point.
Get off the grid, right?
No cell phone reception..
no traffic cameras.
Go someplace for one goddamn
weekend where they can't..
globally position my ass, man.
This is the whole issue.
Is society crumbling, Marty?
No. Society is binding. Right?
It's filling in the
cracks with concrete.
Everything's filed or
recorded or blogged, right?
Chips in our kids' heads
so they won't get lost.
Society needs to crumble.
We're all just too
chicken-shit to let it.
I've missed your rants.
You will come to see things my way.
Identification, please.
Mr. Sitterson.
Mr. Hadley.
- Thank you.
What's your name?
- Daniel Truman, sir.
This isn't the military.
You can drop the "sir".
But Sitterson does
like to be called "ma'am."
Or "honey toes."
- He'll also answer to "honey toes."
You clear on what's
gonna be happening here?
I've been prepped. Extensively.
Did they tell you that being prepped
is not the same as being prepared?
They told me.
I'll hold my post, Mr. Hadley.
Good man.
Okay. System's online.
Acquiring target.
Let's see what we got.
I'm thinking this thing
doesn't take credit cards.
I don't think it knows about money.
I think it's barter gas.
Hello?
Hey, Holden.
Holden!
- I don't think there's gonna be..
You come here uninvited?
- Fuck!
Sign says "closed."
Yeah, we were looking to buy some gas.
Does this pump work?
If you know how to work it.
We also wanted to get directions.
We're looking for.. What's it called?
Tillerman Road.
Do you know if it's this way?
Tillerman Road takes
you up the hill, there.
Dead-ends at the old Buckner place.
My cousin bought a house up there.
You go through a mountain tunnel,
there's a lake.
Would that be the..
- Buckner place.
Always someone looking
to sell that plot.
You knew the original owners.
Yeah, not the first.
I seen plenty come and go.
Hell, I been here since the war.
- Which war?
- You know damn well which war!
Would that have been with
the blue and some in gray?
Brother, perhaps,
fighting against brother in that war?
You sassing me, boy?
You were rude to my friend.
That whore?
What'd you say?
-I think we got enough gas.
You got enough to get you there.
Getting back..
that's your concern.
Well, good luck with
your business, sir.
I know the railroad's coming
through here any day, now.
That's gonna be big.
Streets paved with actual street.
Fucker.
This must be it.
Oh, my God. It's.. beautiful.
One spider and I'm
sleeping in the Rambler.
I mean it.
Come on. Give me a hand.
This is awesome.
It is kind of cool.
You gonna kill us a raccoon to eat?
I will use its skin to make a cap.
Everybody get your suits on. In
Yeah.
I was not informed there
would be calisthenics.
Yeah, I don't think so.
Whoa.
No way.
Ah, shit.
This is happening.
Hold up!
You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
That's just creepy.
It was pioneer days.
People had to make their
own interrogation rooms.
Who did your cousin
buy this place from?
We should check the rest of the rooms,
make sure this is the only one.
'Cause you know Marty wants
to watch us pounding away.
I didn't even like hearing that.
How about we switch?
Not that I'd..
I mean, I'd put the picture back but you
might feel better if we switched rooms?
I really would.
Thanks. For being decent.
It's the least I could do..
since Curt and Jules
sold you to me for marriage.
They're not subtle.
Well, I'll just be flattered
and keep it to myself.
Yeah, I'm not looking for..
But, I'm still grateful
that you're not a creep.
Hey, let's not jump
to any conclusions there.
I had kind of an internal
debate about showing you the mirror.
Shouting on both sides.
Blood was spilled.
So, you're bleeding internally?
Pretty bad.
Well, Jules is pre-med.
You should probably talk to her.
Okay.
Wow.
Yeah, I don't think so.
Places everyone.
We are live.
Engineering, we got a room change.
Polk is now in two, McCrea is in four.
Operations, do you copy?
We need a scenario adjustment.
Miss Lin.
We've got the blood work
back on Louden. Her levels are good.
But we're recommending
a fifty-milligram bump..
of Rhohyptase to increase libido.
- Sold. - Do we pipe it in,
or do you wanna do it orally?
Ask me that again, only slower.
You're a pig.
Guess how we're
slowing down cognition.
I don't know.
The hair dye.
Dumb blonde. Very artistic.
Works its way into the blood,
through the scalp. Very gradual.
Chem department keeps their end up.
I'll see it when I believe it.
Control?
- Yeah, go ahead.
I have the harbinger on line two.
Oh, Christ. Can you take a message?
I don't think so. He's really pushy.
To be honest,
he's kind of freaking me out.
Okay. Put him on.
Mordecai, baby, what's happening?
How's the weather up top?
The lambs have passed through the gate.
They are come to the killing floor.
Well, you're doing
a great job out there.
By the numbers, man.
You got us started off just right.
So, we'll talk to you later, okay?
Their blind eyes see nothing
of the horrors to come.
Their ears are stopped.
They are the gods' fools.
Well, that's.. how it works.
Cleanse them. Cleanse the
world of their ignorance and sin.
Bathe them in the crimson of..
Am I on speakerphone?
No. Absolutely not.
Speakerphone, no.
No, I wouldn't do that.
Yes, I am. I can hear the echo.
Oh, my God. You're right.
Hang on one second, I'll take you off.
That's rude.
I don't know who's in the room.
Fine. There. You're off.
Thank you.
Don't take this lightly, boy.
It wasn't all by your numbers.
The fool nearly derailed
the invocation with his insolence.
The ancient ones see everything.
And they will not be..
I'm still on speakerphone, aren't I?
Oh, my God. Mordecai.
I can't believe it. I did it again!
Mordy?
What happens next?
Oh! That's cold!
How cold? Is it worth it?
Come on, Jules. Life is risk.
Yeah, I might just risk
lying out in the sun for a while.
Boo.
Hey, what is that?
- What?
In the lake, right there.
Oh, come on. - No you guys,
I'm serious. Right there.
There! There!
God, looks just like my girlfriend!
Oh, my God!
There's something else in the lake!
It's a gorgeous man!
- I'm gonna kill you!
Don't kill the gorgeous man!
We're endangered!
All right. Last chance.
It's post time. Dig deep, people.
Betting windows are closing. Okay.
Okay, who's still out?
Let's see. We got engineering,
we got R & D, and we got electrical.
Did you see who they picked?
They're practically
giving their money away.
You should talk, Aquaman.
What do you mean?
- Ah, nothing.
Okay, all right.
I'm not even sure
we have one of these.
Zoology swears we do.
They'd know. Okay. All right, people.
Hey, what do you got?
No, they've already been picked.
What? No. Who took them?
Maintenance.
Maintenance?
They pick the same thing every year.
What do you want from me?
If they were creative,
they wouldn't be in maintenance.
You're gonna have to split
this if you win. You wanna switch?
I don't know, I don't know.
What do you think?
More than anything,
I just want this moment to end.
Not betting?
Not for me. Thanks.
Seems a little harsh, doesn't it?
It's just people letting off steam.
This job isn't easy,
however those clowns may behave.
Does the director.
Do they know about this downstairs?
The director doesn't
care about this stuff.
As long as everything
goes smoothly upstairs..
as long as the kids
do as they're told.
But then it's fixed.
No, no, no.
How can you wager on this
when you control the outcome?
No, we just get 'em in the cellar.
They take it from there.
No, they have to make the
choice of their own free will.
Otherwise the system doesn't work.
It's like the harbinger.
It's this creepy old fuck, practically
wears a sign, "You will die."
Why do we put him there? The system.
They have to choose to ignore him..
and they have to choose
what happens in the cellar.
Yeah, we rig the game
as much as we need to..
but in the end,
they don't transgress..
hey can't be punished.
So what's it gonna be, Truman?
You in? Window's closing.
I'm fine.
Okay.
That's it, gang!
The board is locked!
Oh, let's get this party started!
Let's get this party started!
There you go.
Okay, my turn.
Jules.
Truth or dare?
Let's go dare.
All right.
I dare you to make out with..
Please say "Dana," please say "Dana."
That moose, over there.
Marty..
have you ever seen a moose before?
Whatever that mysterious beast is.
That's a wolf.
I'm living in a womb of reefer,
leave me alone.
Jules..
I dare you to make out with that wolf.
No problem.
Who?
Me?
Well, yes, I am new in town.
How did you know?
Oh, my God.
That is so sweet of you to say.
I just colored it, in fact.
No, no, no.
There's no need to huff and puff.
I'll let you come in.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Now,...
Dana.
Truth.
What's that supposed to mean?
I'm just skipping ahead.
You're gonna say dare.
She's gonna dare you to
do something you don't like..
and then you'll puss out and
say that you wanted truth all along.
Really?
Okay, Jules.
Dare.
What the hell was that?
It's the cellar door.
The wind must've blown it open.
That makes what kinda sense?
What do you think is down there?
Why don't we find out?
Dana.
I dare you.
How long do I have to stay down here?
Oh, you know, just 'til morning.
Dana.
You okay?
Yeah.
Sorry, I just scared myself.
Well, you called for help.
That voids the dare.
Take your top off.
What?
I don't make up the rules.
Oh, my God.
Look at all this.
Guys..
I'm not sure it's
awesome to be down here.
Guys?
Dude, seriously,
your cousin is into some weird shit.
I'm pretty sure this ain't his.
Maybe it was the people
who put in that mirror thing.
Some of this stuff looks really old.
It's beautiful.
Maybe we should go back upstairs.
I dare you all to go upstairs.
Guys?
Guys, listen to this.
"April fourth.
"Father was cross with me
and said I lacked the true faith.
"I wish I could prove my devotion..
"as Judah and Matthew
proved on those travelers."
What is that?
Diary of Anna Patience Buckner, 1903.
"Mama screamed most of the night.
"I prayed that she might find faith..
"but she only stopped
when Papa cut her belly..
"and stuffed the coals in.
"Judah told me in my dream..
"that Matthew took him to the
black room, so I know he is killed.
"I want to understand the
glory of the pain like Matthew..
"but cutting the flesh makes
him have a husband's bulge..
"and I do not get like that."
- Jesus. Can we not?
- No. Go on.
- Why?
-I want to know.
"I have found it..
"in the oldest books,
the way of saving our family.
"My good arm is hacked up..
"and et,
so I hope this will be readable.
"That a believer will come
and speak this to our spirits.
"Then we will be restored
and the great pain will return."
And then there's something in Latin.
Okay, I'm drawing a line
in the fucking sand, here.
Do not read the Latin.
What the fuck?
- Dolor..
- No, no.
- Stop being a fucking baby.
- Curt!
It's a diary.
It doesn't even mean anything.
- Dana!
- "Dolor supervivo caro.
"Dolor sublimis caro.
"Dolor ignio annivos."
We have a winner!
It's the Buckners,
ladies and gentlemen!
The Buckners pull a 'W'.
All right. That means that
congratulations go to Maintenance!
Who share the pot
with Ronald the intern.
Yeah!
That's not fair. I had zombies, too.
Yes, you did. You had zombies.
But this is
"Zombie Redneck Torture Family," see?
They're entirely separate species.
Like the difference between
an elephant and an elephant seal.
There's always next year.
They're like something
from a nightmare.
No. They're something
nightmares are from.
Everything in our stable
is remnant of the old world..
courtesy of you-know-who.
Monsters. Magic.
Gods.
You get used to it.
Should you?
Oh, man. I'm sorry.
- He had the conch in his hands.
- I know.
A couple more minutes,
who knows what might've happened?
I am never gonna see a merman. Ever.
Dude, be thankful.
Those things are terrifying.
And the cleanup on
them is a nightmare.
So, the Buckners.
Yeah, well, they may be zombified,
pain-worshipping, backwoods idiots..
But they're our zombified,
pain-worshipping, backwoods idiots.
With a hundred percent clearance rate.
True. So should we call Japan?
Tell them to take the
rest of the weekend off?
Yeah, right. They're Japanese.
What are they gonna do? Relax?
I'd just like to see them
fall on their asses, for once.
Oh, God, don't even joke.
Every other branch has air-balled.
We need the Japanese crew to get it
done. There's too much riding on this.
Fuck, yeah, baby.
This is so classy.
Come on, like you wouldn't
want a piece of that.
Can we not talk about people
in pieces any more tonight?
Are you feeling lonely, Marty?
Marty and I were sweeties
in our freshman hall.
We made out once.
I never did buy that ring.
But we're still..
close.
I have a theory about all this.
That's our cue to bail.
Tommy Chong here has a theory.
Come on, baby.
Don't worry,
you can tell it to Egghead, here..
if he's not too busy
devirginizing Dana.
Jules, do you wanna go lie down?
That's exactly the point.
Come on. Mush. Mush.
Don't push me around.
Not around, baby. Straight line.
You seriously believe
nothing weird is going on?
Conspiracy?
The way everybody's acting.
Why is Jules suddenly a celebu-tard?
And since when does Curt
pull this alpha-male bullshit?
I mean, he's a sociology major.
He's on full academic scholarship..
and now he's calling
his friend an egghead?
Curt's just drunk.
I've seen Curt drunk.
Jules, too.
Well, then, maybe it's something else.
You're not seeing
what you don't wanna see.
Puppeteers.
Puppeteers?
Pop-Tarts?
Did you say you have Pop-Tarts?
Marty, I love you,
but you're really high.
We are not who we are.
I'm gonna go read
a book with pictures.
Thank you.
- "The pain outlives the flesh.
"The flesh returns.. "
or "has a meeting place."
What is that?
The Latin that you
read in the basement.
You speak Latin?
Not well. Not since tenth grade.
Weird how it all comes back.
Well, it's a weird kind of night.
I'm sorry about tonight.
Everybody..
Do I lose points if I tell
you I'm having a pretty nice time?
No. You can tell me that.
What are you running away for?
Don't spill on me!
Did I get a little beer on your shirt?
I guess it'll have to come off, huh?
Not here.
Baby, come on.
We're all alone.
I'm chilly.
Okay, guys. That's it.
Let's go. We've got a job to do.
Your basic human needs disgust me.
Get out of here.
- Do we have temperature
control in this sector? - On it.
Engaging pheromone mists.
It's so dark.
Take me inside?
Come on. This is why we came here.
It's romantic.
Okay, baby. Let's see some boobies.
Show us the goods.
Does it really matter if we see her..
We're not the only ones watching, kid.
Gotta keep the customer satisfied.
You understand what's at stake, here?
Score.
Jules!
This we offer in humility and fear.
For the blessed peace
of your eternal slumber.
As it ever was.
As it ever was.
Nemo, man, you gotta wake up.
Your shit is topsy-turvy.
I'm gonna go for a walk.
Okay. I swear to fucking God,
somebody is talking.
Or I'm pretty sure someone is.
I'm gonna go for a walk.
Enough!
What are you saying?
What do you want?
You think I'm a puppet, huh?
You think I'm a puppet.
Gonna do a little..
fucking puppet dance!
I'm the boss of my own brain,
so give it up.
I'm gonna go for a walk.
I don't wanna..
I mean, I've never..
I don't mean "never"..
Hey.
Nothing you don't want.
He's got a husband bulge.
I thought there'd be stars.
We are abandoned.
- Fuck!
- Fucking run!
Curt!
Dead bitch!
Jesus, what happened?
The fuck!
Curt, what the fuck?
Where are you hurt?
Is all of this from you?
It's okay! Curt, you're okay!
Where's Jules?
She's gone.
We've gotta get out of here.
No. No.
Dana, don't open that..
I'm not leaving here without Jules.
That dead girl's out there!
Dana, come on!
What is that thing?
Fuck!
I don't know,
but there's more of them.
More of them?
I saw a young girl.
All zombied like him..
but she was missing an arm.
Oh, my God. Patience.
The diary.
- We gotta lock this place down.
-He's right.
We'll go room by room.
Barricade every window and door.
We gotta play it safe. No matter what
happens, we have to stay together.
Fuck!
Calm down.
Watch the master work.
This isn't right.
What? What's the matter?
This isn't right. We should split up.
We can cover more ground that way.
Yeah.
Yeah. Good idea.
Really?
All right,
you guys, get in your rooms.
Lock them in.
What the fuck?
What the..?
What the fuck?
That's not good.
Out of the way. Out of the way.
Out of the way.
Chem department,
I need 500 CCs of Thorazine..
pumped into room three.
No, no, no.
Stand by, Chem.
Judah Buckner to the rescue.
What the fuck?
Fuck! What the fuck?
Oh, my God.
I'm on a reality TV show.
My parents are gonna
think I'm such a burnout.
Help me! Help me!
Must be getting excited downstairs.
Greatest show on Earth.
Somebody help!
Come on!
Use the bed!
- Come on! Come on!
It's empty.
- Go.
Curt?
- Unlock the door.
I can't. Get down to the basement.
This is the black room.
Nice.
From the diary.
This is where he killed them.
This is where he kills us.
No way. No.
He's not gonna kill us
We just gotta find a door.
Okay?
Let's just check the walls, okay?
Curt?
I mean, there's gotta be..
You like pain?
How's that work for you?
These fucking zombies.
Remember when you could
just throw a girl in a volcano?
How old do you think I am?
Let's move! Come on! Come on! Go!
What about Marty?
They got him.
The devil is defeated.
Now Kiko's spirit will
live in the happy frog!
Fuck you!
Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!
- You seeing this?
- Perfect record, huh?
The Japan crew should've
had this in the bag. They fucked us.
How hard is it to kill nine-year-olds?
Zero fatality. Total wash.
You want good product,
you gotta buy American.
Any word from downstairs?
Downstairs doesn't care about Japan.
The director trusts us.
You just sweat the chem, Lin.
While these morons are singing
What a Friend We Have in Shinto..
we are bringing the pain.
Yeah, and what the fuck's
up with this guy's pot, anyway?
He's supposed to be drooling
and instead he almost makes us?
We treated the shit out of it.
Okay, we've got the Rambler
heading toward the tunnel.
The fool's toast anyway.
And so are we if you
don't get this under control.
Shit.
- What? "Shit" why?
Gotta go. Work to do.
You guys are humanity's last hope.
If the ancients rise..
There's no cave-in.
- What?
The fucking tunnel's open!
Control to Demolition.
We're dark on the whole sector.
Try to bypass it.
- What the fuck do you think I'm doing?
-Open the door.
Look out!
Get out of the way! Make a hole!
What the fuck's going on?
- We don't know.
Electrical said there
was a glitch up top.
That tunnel should've blown hours ago.
-We didn't get the order.
Hadley, what is going on?
Hadley?
Why hasn't the tunnel blown?
No, no. No fucking way!
Can't believe this, man.
This ain't happening.
It's right there.
All right.
We got any climbing gear? Ropes?
Yeah. In my fucking dorm room.
We can't go back.
There's no way across.
What're we gonna do? Jump?
Dude.
What?
Curt, are you sure about this?
I've done bigger jumps than this.
You've got a smooth run..
and maybe a five foot
differential on the other side.
But you've gotta give it everything.
Curt.
Look, you guys,
you stay in the Rambler.
I'll get help.
If I wipe out,
I'll fucking limp for help.
But I'm coming back here.
I'm coming back with
cops and choppers..
and large fucking guns,
and those things are gonna pay.
For Jules.
Don't hold back.
Never do.
No!
Curt!
Oh, God!
He hit something.
There's nothing. What'd he hit?
Puppeteers.
Marty was right.
Get in the van.
Dana.
Marty was right.
You're going back.
I'm going through.
And we'll just drive.
There's gotta be another road.
Another way out of here.
-It won't work.
Something will happen.
It will collapse, it will wash away.
Then we just leave
the roads altogether.
Drive as far as we can into the
forest and we go on foot from there.
You're missing the point.
Please, do not go nuts on me,
okay, Dana? You're all I've got, now.
I'm okay.
Good, okay, 'cause I need you calm.
Okay, no matter what happens,
we gotta stay..
Goddamn, that was close!
Yeah, photo-fucking-finish.
I don't understand.
You're celebrating?
They're celebrating. I'm drinking.
But she's still alive.
How can the ritual be complete?
The virgin's death is optional,
as long as it's last.
Main thing is that she suffers.
That she did.
It's so strange.
I'm actually rooting for this girl.
She's got so much heart.
And you think of
all the pain and the..
Tequila is my lady! My lady!
Come on in, guys!
Come on in. You're welcome.
Tequila!
From darkness, there is light!
I wish that I could do what you do.
Oh, my God.
-Yeah, it's masterful.
I don't know.
Tonight was solid. I don't know.
Are you kidding? Classic denouement.
When the van hits the lake..
I screamed.
And the water rushing in,
and the zombies..
just think it would've
been cooler with a merman.
Do you know if we get
the overtime bonus on this one?
Accounting's over there. Ask them.
I don't need to.
I already know the answer.
I'm an intern.
So I don't qualify for OT.
It's funny that you like the ballet..
because I happen to have
two tickets to your favorite..
You knuckleheads.
You almost gave me a
heart attack with that tunnel.
Like I said, it wasn't our fault.
We didn't get the order.
I'm just giving you a hard time.
Come on. Give us a hug.
No, seriously. That wasn't our fault.
There was a glitch.
Power re-route from upstairs.
What do you mean, upstairs?
Turn the fucking music off.
Hello?
That's impossible. Everything
was done within the guidelines.
The virgin's the only one..
No. I am not doubting you.
Which one?
Marty.
-Hi.
Dana, come on.
Marty. Wait.
We're going in the grave?
Dana, come on!
What is this place?
Yeah. I had to dismember
that guy with a trowel.
What have you been up to?
Nobody else, huh?
Yeah, I figured.
You figured everything.
Oh, not at all.
But, I do know some stuff.
As in..
It's an elevator.
Somebody sent those dead
fucks up here to get us.
Now, there's no controls inside, but
there's maintenance overrides in there.
And I think I can get it to go down.
Do we wanna go down?
Where else are we gonna go?
Come on. Get in.
Come on!
Fucking zombie arm.
Oh, shit.
We chose.
What? What?
Fuck!
All that shit we were playing with.
They made us choose.
They made us choose how we die.
We saw them go down the access drop.
They have to be in one of these.
Internal security can..
I don't care if it's not protocol.
Are you fucking high?
It's the fool! Do not touch the girl.
If he outlives her,
this whole thing goes to hell.
Take him out first.
Cleanup says the prep team
missed one of the kid's stashes.
Whatever he's been smoking's
been immunizing him to all our shit.
How does that help us right now? What?
No, if you have a confirmed kill,
take her out, too.
There.
Gotcha.
Bring 'em down.
Step out of the elevator!
Step out of the elevator!
Why are you trying to kill us?
- Step out! Just the girl!
What? -Just me?
Do it!
Good work, zombie arm.
You shouldn't be here.
This should've gone differently.
Ended more quickly.
I can only imagine
your pain and confusion.
But know this.
What's happening to you
is part of something bigger.
Something older than anything known.
You've seen horrible things.
An army of nightmare creatures.
But they are nothing
compared to what came before.
What lies below.
It's our task to placate
the ancient ones.
As it's yours to
be offered up to them.
Forgive us.
And let us get it over with.
Come on. Go in that room.
Army of nightmares, huh?
Let's get this party started.
Hold fire!
Oh, shit.
Go! Go! Go!
Lead officer Truman
to security command.
Requesting immediate reinforcements.
Code black. I repeat, code black.
Where the fuck are you guys?
Sector 12, down. Sector 8, down.
Sector 3, down. Jesus Christ!
Why aren't the defenses working?
Where's the fucking gas?
Something chewed through the
connections in the utility shaft.
Something which?
- Something scary!
The north exit is blocked.
You can't go there.
Go, go, go!
Fuck! We're running out of time!
It's on lockdown,
I'm trying to bypass.
Hadley!
Oh, come on!
It's you.
No, no, no. Please, please.
Kill him.
Okay, Dana, come on.
Dana.
Here. It's easier with this.
Look at these.
Five of them.
What are they?
Us.
I should have seen it like you did.
This is part of a ritual.
A ritual sacrifice?
Great.
You tie someone to a stone, get a
fancy dagger and a bunch of robes.
Is that that complicated?
- No.
It's simple.
They don't just want to see us killed.
They want to see us punished.
Punished for what?
For being young.
It's different in every culture.
And it has changed over the years..
but it has always required youth.
There must be at least five.
The whore.
She's corrupted.
She dies first.
The athlete.
The scholar.
The fool.
All suffer and die at the hands of..
whatever horror they have raised..
leaving the last, to live or die..
.. as fate decides.
The virgin.
Me?
Virgin?
We work with what we have.
But what if you don't pull it off?
They rise.
Who does?
What's beneath us?
The ancient ones.
The gods that used to rule the Earth.
As long as they accept
our sacrifice, they remain below.
But the other rituals have all failed.
The sun is coming up in eight minutes.
If you live to see it,
the world will end.
Maybe that's the way it should be.
If you've got to kill all
my friends to survive..
maybe it's time for a change.
We're not talking about change.
We're talking about the agonizing death
of every human soul on the planet.
Including you.
You can die with them..
or you can die for them.
Gosh, they're both so enticing.
The whole world, Marty.
Is in your hands, Dana.
There is no other way.
You have to be strong.
Yeah, Dana..
you feeling strong?
I'm sorry.
So am I.
Marty..
Marty!
Hey.
You know..
I don't think Curt even has a cousin.
How are you?
Going away.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry I almost shot you.
I probably wouldn't have.
Hey, no. No.
I totally get it.
I'm sorry I let you get attacked by
a werewolf and then ended the world.
No.
Hey, you were right.
Humanity..
It's time to give
someone else a chance.
Giant evil gods.
I wish I could've seen them.
I know.
That would have been a fun weekend.
I mean, I don't usually fall
back on.. It's women's issues.
But child-proofed how?
Gates and stuff?
Dude, she did the drawers.
We don't even know if this
whole fertility thing's gonna work..
she's screwed in these little jobbies
where you can't even open the drawers.
At all?
No. They open an inch,
then you gotta dig your finger in.
- It's a nightmare.
-I guess sooner or later..
Yeah, a lot later.
She did the upper cabinets.
Kid will be 30 before he can
reach them, assuming we have a kid.
It is natural for
her to feel protective.
Don't even.. You have women's issues.
Please. You of all people.
Oh, come on. It's a jinx.
It guarantees that
we won't get pregnant.
And it takes me about 20
minutes to get a fucking beer.
Guys. Guys!
Stockholm went south.
Seriously?
I thought they were looking good.
What cracked?
I haven't seen the footage.
Word's just going around
Well, that's never
been a stable scenario.
Everyone knows you can't trust Swedes.
That means there's just Japan.
Japan and us.
It's not the first time
it's come down to that.
Japan has a perfect record.
We're number two. We try harder.
If we fail, then..
Please. We haven't
had a glitch since '98.
We know what we're doing, Lin.
Or we have it written down..
somewhere.
You guys better not
be messing around in there.
Does this mean you're not in
the betting pool this year? Big money.
I'm just saying, it's a key scenario.
No, I hear what you're saying.
In '98, it was the chem
department's fault, right?
Where do you work, again?
Wait. It's coming back to me, now.
It's gonna be a long weekend
if everyone's that puckered up.
You wanna come over Monday night?
I'm gonna pick up some power drills.
Liberate my cabinets.
Are you even listening to me?
Professor fuckwad.
Why haven't you stuck that asshole's
picture on the dartboard yet?
It's not that simple
Oh, my God!
Your hair. It's blonde.
- Very fabulous, no?
I can't believe you did it.
-But very fabulous, right?
Hurry up with the "very fabulous."
I'm getting insecure about it now.
No, it looks awesome.
Curt's gonna lose it.
Curt's gonna thank me.
And so will you..
while we're burning this picture.
Not ready.
Seriously, this isn't his fault.
What's not his fault?
Fucking his student or
breaking up with her by email?
I knew what I was getting into.
Oh, please.
You know what you're
getting into this weekend?
This.
And if Holden's as
cute as Curt says he is..
possibly getting out of it.
That is the last thing that I want.
If you treat this like a setup,
I'm gonna have no fun at all.
I'm not pushing..
but we're packing this!
Which means we definitely
won't have room for..
What if I get bored?
These will help?
Soviet Economic Structures?
Aftermath of the..
No! We have a lake and a keg.
No more learning!
-Think fast.
Faster than that.
Sorry. Sorry. Move along.
Nice!
-Is that Holden?
We'll be right down.
He just transferred from State.
Best hands on the team.
He's a sweet guy.
And he's good with his hands.
I'm kinda seeing this girl..
but you're way blonder than she is.
But I was thinking, you know, maybe..
What is this?
What.. this?
What are you doing with these?
Okay, I get it. I'll leave the books.
No, who gave you these?
Who taught you about these?
I learned it from you, okay?
I learned it from watching you!
Seriously, Professor Bennett, he
covers this whole book in his lectures.
You should read this.
Gurovsky. Now this is way
more interesting.
Also, Bennett doesn't
know it by heart..
so he'll think you're insightful.
And you have no pants.
Oh, shit!
- That pretty much it?
-Fucking better be.
You know, Jules,
it's a weekend, not an evacuation.
Trust me when I say there
is nothing in those cases..
you won't be glad I brought.
I'm shutting' right up.
Oh, my God.
Marty!
Fuck is wrong with you, bro?
People in this town drive
in a very counterintuitive manner.
That's what I have to say.
Do you wanna spend
the weekend in jail?
We'd all like to check
out my cousin's country home.
Honey, that's not okay.
Statistical fact..
Cops will never pull over
a man with a huge bong in his car.
Why?
They fear this man.
They know he sees further than they..
and he will bind them
with ancient logics.
Have you gone gray?
You're not bringing
that thing in the Rambler.
What?
A giant bong in your father's van?
What are you, stoned?
Hey, man.
Dana, you fetching minx!
You have any food?
Everybody ready?
- Yeah!
Yeah?
- Okay, I'm ready!
Let's get this show on the road!
Nest is empty. We're right on time.
I hope this is the right road.
It doesn't even show up on the GPS.
It is unworthy of global positioning.
That's the whole point.
Get off the grid, right?
No cell phone reception..
no traffic cameras.
Go someplace for one goddamn
weekend where they can't..
globally position my ass, man.
This is the whole issue.
Is society crumbling, Marty?
No. Society is binding. Right?
It's filling in the
cracks with concrete.
Everything's filed or
recorded or blogged, right?
Chips in our kids' heads
so they won't get lost.
Society needs to crumble.
We're all just too
chicken-shit to let it.
I've missed your rants.
You will come to see things my way.
Identification, please.
Mr. Sitterson.
Mr. Hadley.
- Thank you.
What's your name?
- Daniel Truman, sir.
This isn't the military.
You can drop the "sir".
But Sitterson does
like to be called "ma'am."
Or "honey toes."
- He'll also answer to "honey toes."
You clear on what's
gonna be happening here?
I've been prepped. Extensively.
Did they tell you that being prepped
is not the same as being prepared?
They told me.
I'll hold my post, Mr. Hadley.
Good man.
Okay. System's online.
Acquiring target.
Let's see what we got.
I'm thinking this thing
doesn't take credit cards.
I don't think it knows about money.
I think it's barter gas.
Hello?
Hey, Holden.
Holden!
- I don't think there's gonna be..
You come here uninvited?
- Fuck!
Sign says "closed."
Yeah, we were looking to buy some gas.
Does this pump work?
If you know how to work it.
We also wanted to get directions.
We're looking for.. What's it called?
Tillerman Road.
Do you know if it's this way?
Tillerman Road takes
you up the hill, there.
Dead-ends at the old Buckner place.
My cousin bought a house up there.
You go through a mountain tunnel,
there's a lake.
Would that be the..
- Buckner place.
Always someone looking
to sell that plot.
You knew the original owners.
Yeah, not the first.
I seen plenty come and go.
Hell, I been here since the war.
- Which war?
- You know damn well which war!
Would that have been with
the blue and some in gray?
Brother, perhaps,
fighting against brother in that war?
You sassing me, boy?
You were rude to my friend.
That whore?
What'd you say?
-I think we got enough gas.
You got enough to get you there.
Getting back..
that's your concern.
Well, good luck with
your business, sir.
I know the railroad's coming
through here any day, now.
That's gonna be big.
Streets paved with actual street.
Fucker.
This must be it.
Oh, my God. It's.. beautiful.
One spider and I'm
sleeping in the Rambler.
I mean it.
Come on. Give me a hand.
This is awesome.
It is kind of cool.
You gonna kill us a raccoon to eat?
I will use its skin to make a cap.
Everybody get your suits on. In
Yeah.
I was not informed there
would be calisthenics.
Yeah, I don't think so.
Whoa.
No way.
Ah, shit.
This is happening.
Hold up!
You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
That's just creepy.
It was pioneer days.
People had to make their
own interrogation rooms.
Who did your cousin
buy this place from?
We should check the rest of the rooms,
make sure this is the only one.
'Cause you know Marty wants
to watch us pounding away.
I didn't even like hearing that.
How about we switch?
Not that I'd..
I mean, I'd put the picture back but you
might feel better if we switched rooms?
I really would.
Thanks. For being decent.
It's the least I could do..
since Curt and Jules
sold you to me for marriage.
They're not subtle.
Well, I'll just be flattered
and keep it to myself.
Yeah, I'm not looking for..
But, I'm still grateful
that you're not a creep.
Hey, let's not jump
to any conclusions there.
I had kind of an internal
debate about showing you the mirror.
Shouting on both sides.
Blood was spilled.
So, you're bleeding internally?
Pretty bad.
Well, Jules is pre-med.
You should probably talk to her.
Okay.
Wow.
Yeah, I don't think so.
Places everyone.
We are live.
Engineering, we got a room change.
Polk is now in two, McCrea is in four.
Operations, do you copy?
We need a scenario adjustment.
Miss Lin.
We've got the blood work
back on Louden. Her levels are good.
But we're recommending
a fifty-milligram bump..
of Rhohyptase to increase libido.
- Sold. - Do we pipe it in,
or do you wanna do it orally?
Ask me that again, only slower.
You're a pig.
Guess how we're
slowing down cognition.
I don't know.
The hair dye.
Dumb blonde. Very artistic.
Works its way into the blood,
through the scalp. Very gradual.
Chem department keeps their end up.
I'll see it when I believe it.
Control?
- Yeah, go ahead.
I have the harbinger on line two.
Oh, Christ. Can you take a message?
I don't think so. He's really pushy.
To be honest,
he's kind of freaking me out.
Okay. Put him on.
Mordecai, baby, what's happening?
How's the weather up top?
The lambs have passed through the gate.
They are come to the killing floor.
Well, you're doing
a great job out there.
By the numbers, man.
You got us started off just right.
So, we'll talk to you later, okay?
Their blind eyes see nothing
of the horrors to come.
Their ears are stopped.
They are the gods' fools.
Well, that's.. how it works.
Cleanse them. Cleanse the
world of their ignorance and sin.
Bathe them in the crimson of..
Am I on speakerphone?
No. Absolutely not.
Speakerphone, no.
No, I wouldn't do that.
Yes, I am. I can hear the echo.
Oh, my God. You're right.
Hang on one second, I'll take you off.
That's rude.
I don't know who's in the room.
Fine. There. You're off.
Thank you.
Don't take this lightly, boy.
It wasn't all by your numbers.
The fool nearly derailed
the invocation with his insolence.
The ancient ones see everything.
And they will not be..
I'm still on speakerphone, aren't I?
Oh, my God. Mordecai.
I can't believe it. I did it again!
Mordy?
What happens next?
Oh! That's cold!
How cold? Is it worth it?
Come on, Jules. Life is risk.
Yeah, I might just risk
lying out in the sun for a while.
Boo.
Hey, what is that?
- What?
In the lake, right there.
Oh, come on. - No you guys,
I'm serious. Right there.
There! There!
God, looks just like my girlfriend!
Oh, my God!
There's something else in the lake!
It's a gorgeous man!
- I'm gonna kill you!
Don't kill the gorgeous man!
We're endangered!
All right. Last chance.
It's post time. Dig deep, people.
Betting windows are closing. Okay.
Okay, who's still out?
Let's see. We got engineering,
we got R & D, and we got electrical.
Did you see who they picked?
They're practically
giving their money away.
You should talk, Aquaman.
What do you mean?
- Ah, nothing.
Okay, all right.
I'm not even sure
we have one of these.
Zoology swears we do.
They'd know. Okay. All right, people.
Hey, what do you got?
No, they've already been picked.
What? No. Who took them?
Maintenance.
Maintenance?
They pick the same thing every year.
What do you want from me?
If they were creative,
they wouldn't be in maintenance.
You're gonna have to split
this if you win. You wanna switch?
I don't know, I don't know.
What do you think?
More than anything,
I just want this moment to end.
Not betting?
Not for me. Thanks.
Seems a little harsh, doesn't it?
It's just people letting off steam.
This job isn't easy,
however those clowns may behave.
Does the director.
Do they know about this downstairs?
The director doesn't
care about this stuff.
As long as everything
goes smoothly upstairs..
as long as the kids
do as they're told.
But then it's fixed.
No, no, no.
How can you wager on this
when you control the outcome?
No, we just get 'em in the cellar.
They take it from there.
No, they have to make the
choice of their own free will.
Otherwise the system doesn't work.
It's like the harbinger.
It's this creepy old fuck, practically
wears a sign, "You will die."
Why do we put him there? The system.
They have to choose to ignore him..
and they have to choose
what happens in the cellar.
Yeah, we rig the game
as much as we need to..
but in the end,
they don't transgress..
hey can't be punished.
So what's it gonna be, Truman?
You in? Window's closing.
I'm fine.
Okay.
That's it, gang!
The board is locked!
Oh, let's get this party started!
Let's get this party started!
There you go.
Okay, my turn.
Jules.
Truth or dare?
Let's go dare.
All right.
I dare you to make out with..
Please say "Dana," please say "Dana."
That moose, over there.
Marty..
have you ever seen a moose before?
Whatever that mysterious beast is.
That's a wolf.
I'm living in a womb of reefer,
leave me alone.
Jules..
I dare you to make out with that wolf.
No problem.
Who?
Me?
Well, yes, I am new in town.
How did you know?
Oh, my God.
That is so sweet of you to say.
I just colored it, in fact.
No, no, no.
There's no need to huff and puff.
I'll let you come in.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Now,...
Dana.
Truth.
What's that supposed to mean?
I'm just skipping ahead.
You're gonna say dare.
She's gonna dare you to
do something you don't like..
and then you'll puss out and
say that you wanted truth all along.
Really?
Okay, Jules.
Dare.
What the hell was that?
It's the cellar door.
The wind must've blown it open.
That makes what kinda sense?
What do you think is down there?
Why don't we find out?
Dana.
I dare you.
How long do I have to stay down here?
Oh, you know, just 'til morning.
Dana.
You okay?
Yeah.
Sorry, I just scared myself.
Well, you called for help.
That voids the dare.
Take your top off.
What?
I don't make up the rules.
Oh, my God.
Look at all this.
Guys..
I'm not sure it's
awesome to be down here.
Guys?
Dude, seriously,
your cousin is into some weird shit.
I'm pretty sure this ain't his.
Maybe it was the people
who put in that mirror thing.
Some of this stuff looks really old.
It's beautiful.
Maybe we should go back upstairs.
I dare you all to go upstairs.
Guys?
Guys, listen to this.
"April fourth.
"Father was cross with me
and said I lacked the true faith.
"I wish I could prove my devotion..
"as Judah and Matthew
proved on those travelers."
What is that?
Diary of Anna Patience Buckner, 1903.
"Mama screamed most of the night.
"I prayed that she might find faith..
"but she only stopped
when Papa cut her belly..
"and stuffed the coals in.
"Judah told me in my dream..
"that Matthew took him to the
black room, so I know he is killed.
"I want to understand the
glory of the pain like Matthew..
"but cutting the flesh makes
him have a husband's bulge..
"and I do not get like that."
- Jesus. Can we not?
- No. Go on.
- Why?
-I want to know.
"I have found it..
"in the oldest books,
the way of saving our family.
"My good arm is hacked up..
"and et,
so I hope this will be readable.
"That a believer will come
and speak this to our spirits.
"Then we will be restored
and the great pain will return."
And then there's something in Latin.
Okay, I'm drawing a line
in the fucking sand, here.
Do not read the Latin.
What the fuck?
- Dolor..
- No, no.
- Stop being a fucking baby.
- Curt!
It's a diary.
It doesn't even mean anything.
- Dana!
- "Dolor supervivo caro.
"Dolor sublimis caro.
"Dolor ignio annivos."
We have a winner!
It's the Buckners,
ladies and gentlemen!
The Buckners pull a 'W'.
All right. That means that
congratulations go to Maintenance!
Who share the pot
with Ronald the intern.
Yeah!
That's not fair. I had zombies, too.
Yes, you did. You had zombies.
But this is
"Zombie Redneck Torture Family," see?
They're entirely separate species.
Like the difference between
an elephant and an elephant seal.
There's always next year.
They're like something
from a nightmare.
No. They're something
nightmares are from.
Everything in our stable
is remnant of the old world..
courtesy of you-know-who.
Monsters. Magic.
Gods.
You get used to it.
Should you?
Oh, man. I'm sorry.
- He had the conch in his hands.
- I know.
A couple more minutes,
who knows what might've happened?
I am never gonna see a merman. Ever.
Dude, be thankful.
Those things are terrifying.
And the cleanup on
them is a nightmare.
So, the Buckners.
Yeah, well, they may be zombified,
pain-worshipping, backwoods idiots..
But they're our zombified,
pain-worshipping, backwoods idiots.
With a hundred percent clearance rate.
True. So should we call Japan?
Tell them to take the
rest of the weekend off?
Yeah, right. They're Japanese.
What are they gonna do? Relax?
I'd just like to see them
fall on their asses, for once.
Oh, God, don't even joke.
Every other branch has air-balled.
We need the Japanese crew to get it
done. There's too much riding on this.
Fuck, yeah, baby.
This is so classy.
Come on, like you wouldn't
want a piece of that.
Can we not talk about people
in pieces any more tonight?
Are you feeling lonely, Marty?
Marty and I were sweeties
in our freshman hall.
We made out once.
I never did buy that ring.
But we're still..
close.
I have a theory about all this.
That's our cue to bail.
Tommy Chong here has a theory.
Come on, baby.
Don't worry,
you can tell it to Egghead, here..
if he's not too busy
devirginizing Dana.
Jules, do you wanna go lie down?
That's exactly the point.
Come on. Mush. Mush.
Don't push me around.
Not around, baby. Straight line.
You seriously believe
nothing weird is going on?
Conspiracy?
The way everybody's acting.
Why is Jules suddenly a celebu-tard?
And since when does Curt
pull this alpha-male bullshit?
I mean, he's a sociology major.
He's on full academic scholarship..
and now he's calling
his friend an egghead?
Curt's just drunk.
I've seen Curt drunk.
Jules, too.
Well, then, maybe it's something else.
You're not seeing
what you don't wanna see.
Puppeteers.
Puppeteers?
Pop-Tarts?
Did you say you have Pop-Tarts?
Marty, I love you,
but you're really high.
We are not who we are.
I'm gonna go read
a book with pictures.
Thank you.
- "The pain outlives the flesh.
"The flesh returns.. "
or "has a meeting place."
What is that?
The Latin that you
read in the basement.
You speak Latin?
Not well. Not since tenth grade.
Weird how it all comes back.
Well, it's a weird kind of night.
I'm sorry about tonight.
Everybody..
Do I lose points if I tell
you I'm having a pretty nice time?
No. You can tell me that.
What are you running away for?
Don't spill on me!
Did I get a little beer on your shirt?
I guess it'll have to come off, huh?
Not here.
Baby, come on.
We're all alone.
I'm chilly.
Okay, guys. That's it.
Let's go. We've got a job to do.
Your basic human needs disgust me.
Get out of here.
- Do we have temperature
control in this sector? - On it.
Engaging pheromone mists.
It's so dark.
Take me inside?
Come on. This is why we came here.
It's romantic.
Okay, baby. Let's see some boobies.
Show us the goods.
Does it really matter if we see her..
We're not the only ones watching, kid.
Gotta keep the customer satisfied.
You understand what's at stake, here?
Score.
Jules!
This we offer in humility and fear.
For the blessed peace
of your eternal slumber.
As it ever was.
As it ever was.
Nemo, man, you gotta wake up.
Your shit is topsy-turvy.
I'm gonna go for a walk.
Okay. I swear to fucking God,
somebody is talking.
Or I'm pretty sure someone is.
I'm gonna go for a walk.
Enough!
What are you saying?
What do you want?
You think I'm a puppet, huh?
You think I'm a puppet.
Gonna do a little..
fucking puppet dance!
I'm the boss of my own brain,
so give it up.
I'm gonna go for a walk.
I don't wanna..
I mean, I've never..
I don't mean "never"..
Hey.
Nothing you don't want.
He's got a husband bulge.
I thought there'd be stars.
We are abandoned.
- Fuck!
- Fucking run!
Curt!
Dead bitch!
Jesus, what happened?
The fuck!
Curt, what the fuck?
Where are you hurt?
Is all of this from you?
It's okay! Curt, you're okay!
Where's Jules?
She's gone.
We've gotta get out of here.
No. No.
Dana, don't open that..
I'm not leaving here without Jules.
That dead girl's out there!
Dana, come on!
What is that thing?
Fuck!
I don't know,
but there's more of them.
More of them?
I saw a young girl.
All zombied like him..
but she was missing an arm.
Oh, my God. Patience.
The diary.
- We gotta lock this place down.
-He's right.
We'll go room by room.
Barricade every window and door.
We gotta play it safe. No matter what
happens, we have to stay together.
Fuck!
Calm down.
Watch the master work.
This isn't right.
What? What's the matter?
This isn't right. We should split up.
We can cover more ground that way.
Yeah.
Yeah. Good idea.
Really?
All right,
you guys, get in your rooms.
Lock them in.
What the fuck?
What the..?
What the fuck?
That's not good.
Out of the way. Out of the way.
Out of the way.
Chem department,
I need 500 CCs of Thorazine..
pumped into room three.
No, no, no.
Stand by, Chem.
Judah Buckner to the rescue.
What the fuck?
Fuck! What the fuck?
Oh, my God.
I'm on a reality TV show.
My parents are gonna
think I'm such a burnout.
Help me! Help me!
Must be getting excited downstairs.
Greatest show on Earth.
Somebody help!
Come on!
Use the bed!
- Come on! Come on!
It's empty.
- Go.
Curt?
- Unlock the door.
I can't. Get down to the basement.
This is the black room.
Nice.
From the diary.
This is where he killed them.
This is where he kills us.
No way. No.
He's not gonna kill us
We just gotta find a door.
Okay?
Let's just check the walls, okay?
Curt?
I mean, there's gotta be..
You like pain?
How's that work for you?
These fucking zombies.
Remember when you could
just throw a girl in a volcano?
How old do you think I am?
Let's move! Come on! Come on! Go!
What about Marty?
They got him.
The devil is defeated.
Now Kiko's spirit will
live in the happy frog!
Fuck you!
Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!
- You seeing this?
- Perfect record, huh?
The Japan crew should've
had this in the bag. They fucked us.
How hard is it to kill nine-year-olds?
Zero fatality. Total wash.
You want good product,
you gotta buy American.
Any word from downstairs?
Downstairs doesn't care about Japan.
The director trusts us.
You just sweat the chem, Lin.
While these morons are singing
What a Friend We Have in Shinto..
we are bringing the pain.
Yeah, and what the fuck's
up with this guy's pot, anyway?
He's supposed to be drooling
and instead he almost makes us?
We treated the shit out of it.
Okay, we've got the Rambler
heading toward the tunnel.
The fool's toast anyway.
And so are we if you
don't get this under control.
Shit.
- What? "Shit" why?
Gotta go. Work to do.
You guys are humanity's last hope.
If the ancients rise..
There's no cave-in.
- What?
The fucking tunnel's open!
Control to Demolition.
We're dark on the whole sector.
Try to bypass it.
- What the fuck do you think I'm doing?
-Open the door.
Look out!
Get out of the way! Make a hole!
What the fuck's going on?
- We don't know.
Electrical said there
was a glitch up top.
That tunnel should've blown hours ago.
-We didn't get the order.
Hadley, what is going on?
Hadley?
Why hasn't the tunnel blown?
No, no. No fucking way!
Can't believe this, man.
This ain't happening.
It's right there.
All right.
We got any climbing gear? Ropes?
Yeah. In my fucking dorm room.
We can't go back.
There's no way across.
What're we gonna do? Jump?
Dude.
What?
Curt, are you sure about this?
I've done bigger jumps than this.
You've got a smooth run..
and maybe a five foot
differential on the other side.
But you've gotta give it everything.
Curt.
Look, you guys,
you stay in the Rambler.
I'll get help.
If I wipe out,
I'll fucking limp for help.
But I'm coming back here.
I'm coming back with
cops and choppers..
and large fucking guns,
and those things are gonna pay.
For Jules.
Don't hold back.
Never do.
No!
Curt!
Oh, God!
He hit something.
There's nothing. What'd he hit?
Puppeteers.
Marty was right.
Get in the van.
Dana.
Marty was right.
You're going back.
I'm going through.
And we'll just drive.
There's gotta be another road.
Another way out of here.
-It won't work.
Something will happen.
It will collapse, it will wash away.
Then we just leave
the roads altogether.
Drive as far as we can into the
forest and we go on foot from there.
You're missing the point.
Please, do not go nuts on me,
okay, Dana? You're all I've got, now.
I'm okay.
Good, okay, 'cause I need you calm.
Okay, no matter what happens,
we gotta stay..
Goddamn, that was close!
Yeah, photo-fucking-finish.
I don't understand.
You're celebrating?
They're celebrating. I'm drinking.
But she's still alive.
How can the ritual be complete?
The virgin's death is optional,
as long as it's last.
Main thing is that she suffers.
That she did.
It's so strange.
I'm actually rooting for this girl.
She's got so much heart.
And you think of
all the pain and the..
Tequila is my lady! My lady!
Come on in, guys!
Come on in. You're welcome.
Tequila!
From darkness, there is light!
I wish that I could do what you do.
Oh, my God.
-Yeah, it's masterful.
I don't know.
Tonight was solid. I don't know.
Are you kidding? Classic denouement.
When the van hits the lake..
I screamed.
And the water rushing in,
and the zombies..
just think it would've
been cooler with a merman.
Do you know if we get
the overtime bonus on this one?
Accounting's over there. Ask them.
I don't need to.
I already know the answer.
I'm an intern.
So I don't qualify for OT.
It's funny that you like the ballet..
because I happen to have
two tickets to your favorite..
You knuckleheads.
You almost gave me a
heart attack with that tunnel.
Like I said, it wasn't our fault.
We didn't get the order.
I'm just giving you a hard time.
Come on. Give us a hug.
No, seriously. That wasn't our fault.
There was a glitch.
Power re-route from upstairs.
What do you mean, upstairs?
Turn the fucking music off.
Hello?
That's impossible. Everything
was done within the guidelines.
The virgin's the only one..
No. I am not doubting you.
Which one?
Marty.
-Hi.
Dana, come on.
Marty. Wait.
We're going in the grave?
Dana, come on!
What is this place?
Yeah. I had to dismember
that guy with a trowel.
What have you been up to?
Nobody else, huh?
Yeah, I figured.
You figured everything.
Oh, not at all.
But, I do know some stuff.
As in..
It's an elevator.
Somebody sent those dead
fucks up here to get us.
Now, there's no controls inside, but
there's maintenance overrides in there.
And I think I can get it to go down.
Do we wanna go down?
Where else are we gonna go?
Come on. Get in.
Come on!
Fucking zombie arm.
Oh, shit.
We chose.
What? What?
Fuck!
All that shit we were playing with.
They made us choose.
They made us choose how we die.
We saw them go down the access drop.
They have to be in one of these.
Internal security can..
I don't care if it's not protocol.
Are you fucking high?
It's the fool! Do not touch the girl.
If he outlives her,
this whole thing goes to hell.
Take him out first.
Cleanup says the prep team
missed one of the kid's stashes.
Whatever he's been smoking's
been immunizing him to all our shit.
How does that help us right now? What?
No, if you have a confirmed kill,
take her out, too.
There.
Gotcha.
Bring 'em down.
Step out of the elevator!
Step out of the elevator!
Why are you trying to kill us?
- Step out! Just the girl!
What? -Just me?
Do it!
Good work, zombie arm.
You shouldn't be here.
This should've gone differently.
Ended more quickly.
I can only imagine
your pain and confusion.
But know this.
What's happening to you
is part of something bigger.
Something older than anything known.
You've seen horrible things.
An army of nightmare creatures.
But they are nothing
compared to what came before.
What lies below.
It's our task to placate
the ancient ones.
As it's yours to
be offered up to them.
Forgive us.
And let us get it over with.
Come on. Go in that room.
Army of nightmares, huh?
Let's get this party started.
Hold fire!
Oh, shit.
Go! Go! Go!
Lead officer Truman
to security command.
Requesting immediate reinforcements.
Code black. I repeat, code black.
Where the fuck are you guys?
Sector 12, down. Sector 8, down.
Sector 3, down. Jesus Christ!
Why aren't the defenses working?
Where's the fucking gas?
Something chewed through the
connections in the utility shaft.
Something which?
- Something scary!
The north exit is blocked.
You can't go there.
Go, go, go!
Fuck! We're running out of time!
It's on lockdown,
I'm trying to bypass.
Hadley!
Oh, come on!
It's you.
No, no, no. Please, please.
Kill him.
Okay, Dana, come on.
Dana.
Here. It's easier with this.
Look at these.
Five of them.
What are they?
Us.
I should have seen it like you did.
This is part of a ritual.
A ritual sacrifice?
Great.
You tie someone to a stone, get a
fancy dagger and a bunch of robes.
Is that that complicated?
- No.
It's simple.
They don't just want to see us killed.
They want to see us punished.
Punished for what?
For being young.
It's different in every culture.
And it has changed over the years..
but it has always required youth.
There must be at least five.
The whore.
She's corrupted.
She dies first.
The athlete.
The scholar.
The fool.
All suffer and die at the hands of..
whatever horror they have raised..
leaving the last, to live or die..
.. as fate decides.
The virgin.
Me?
Virgin?
We work with what we have.
But what if you don't pull it off?
They rise.
Who does?
What's beneath us?
The ancient ones.
The gods that used to rule the Earth.
As long as they accept
our sacrifice, they remain below.
But the other rituals have all failed.
The sun is coming up in eight minutes.
If you live to see it,
the world will end.
Maybe that's the way it should be.
If you've got to kill all
my friends to survive..
maybe it's time for a change.
We're not talking about change.
We're talking about the agonizing death
of every human soul on the planet.
Including you.
You can die with them..
or you can die for them.
Gosh, they're both so enticing.
The whole world, Marty.
Is in your hands, Dana.
There is no other way.
You have to be strong.
Yeah, Dana..
you feeling strong?
I'm sorry.
So am I.
Marty..
Marty!
Hey.
You know..
I don't think Curt even has a cousin.
How are you?
Going away.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry I almost shot you.
I probably wouldn't have.
Hey, no. No.
I totally get it.
I'm sorry I let you get attacked by
a werewolf and then ended the world.
No.
Hey, you were right.
Humanity..
It's time to give
someone else a chance.
Giant evil gods.
I wish I could've seen them.
I know.
That would have been a fun weekend.