Cat Run 2 (2014) Movie Script
(MAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
No matter what, I can't
believe he'd do this to me.
Three women at once?
Two girls and.
Who is she'? Their fucking grandmother?
I mean, what?
The man is a sick bastard.
He's not that bad.
It was on his business card.
It was a joke.
(SCOFFS)
You're better off
without him. Okay?
Now can we change the subject?
We've been talking about your
ex since we left Pristina.
(DOOR CLATTERS)
(MAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
Whoa!
What the fuck are you doing?
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
(INAUDIBLE)
WOMAN: Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo!.!
Hey, ifs time to go.
We got to get out of here.
Wilson, let's go!
Private, we're leaving!
CORDRAY: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hang tight.
Not seeing anything you like?
Our orders are very specific.
We're looking for something
a little more high-grade.
I got two smoke shows coming up.
Brand-new, fresh
fucking racehorses.
Sit down, give me two minutes.
(WOMAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
You need some positive male
attention for a change.
I mean...
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
Move on.
Hey, you two Polacks are up.
Let's go.
Now! Let's go! Come on!
CORDRAY: All right, all right.
Gentlemen, give it up
for our next act.
We got some European
beauties for you.
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
High-grade enough for you?
DUQUESNE: Yeah,
these two will work.
OFFICER: Look at
those fake titties.
Well, there you go.
(GRUNTING)
Oh, yeah.
OFFICER 1: Damn, I could
tear that shit up'
OFFICER 2; Yeah.
FREDERICKSON: Beautiful.
Oh, my gosh.
OFFICER: Grind on her,
baby, come on now.
Put her down nice and soft.
FREDERICKSON: Excellent
taste as always, Sergeant.
OFFICER' Grind on her.
Grind it' baby!
Sergeant, good job. Good job.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
I need to pee.
FREDERICKSON: Pee'? Wait, wait, wait.
Don't go.
You can pee on me. (GRUNTS)
You dirty little boy.
Oh!
(LAUGHING)
I love you, baby. I love you!
OFFICER: Dirty dog.
You're a sicko.
You're sick, dog.
Private, accompany
our guest to the latrine.
Thank you.
Right this way, ma'am'
Thank you for the escort.
(BEEPING)
That's a long-ass piss.
(KEYPAD BEEPING)
(BEEPING)
(DOOR CLOSES)
MAN: (LAUGHING) My turn.
What's your status?
Two minutes,
but I may not have n.
Hold your position, I'm coming.
MAN: Oh' my God.
We'll rendezvous later.
Mina. Just do it!
Activity in Sector C.
MAN ON RADIO: Copy that.
(KNOCKING)
Ma'am.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Ma'am.
Oh!
Security, we have a civ
unaccompanied on the base.
I repeat, a civ
unaccompanied on the base.
Where the fuck did she go? You
were supposed to be with her.
I don't know'
she just disappeared.
(BEEPING)
What the hell are
you doing in here?
Just me.
(GROANS)
SOLDIER: Drop your weapon!
(GROANING)
MAN ON PA: We are Code Orange in Sector 3.
This is not a drill.
(GRUNTING)
SOLDIER: Show me
your fucking hands!
(GROANS)
Mina!
(GROANS)
Don't move!
Put your fucking hands up!
Get 'em up!
What do you want?
Who sent you?
It's nothing personal.
What isn't personal?
(GROANS)
This.
Mina, where are you?
MINA: Tatiana, go, save yourself.
It's too hot.
TATIANA: Mina.
(OPERA MUSIC PLAYING)
So, what's it gonna be?
What's what gonna be?
The new name of the restaurant?
I think the space is
too small for
"Bitch Who Broke My Heart
and Took Half of My Shit."
Dude. What? Too soon?
You can change it to
Catalina Spanish Bitch-re.
You know what you need, man?
You need to get out of Brooklyn.
Cat's gone, Jules, that's a fact
whether I'm here
or somewhere else.
JULIAN: That's right, but, look,
we need to go somewhere' too.
Take your mind off the whole
restaurant thing and this chick.
Emmett' cut that on the bias. On the bias.
You know better.
Yeah, chop, chop.
Hi' Michelle. Let's see what you've got.
JULIAN: Looks good.
Needs acid. Just a little
bit, though' okay?
MICHELLE: Sure.
JULIAN: It needs sea salt.
Hey, man. Uh.
You ever thought
about making short ribs
or cooking burritos
or something? Mmm?
ANTHONY: Why don't you go
clean the dishes for me, man?
Really? Come on, lazy ass.
The dishes? Watch out.
This ain't 12 Years a Slave.
HOSTESS: Brown.
(KEYPAD CLICKING)
Party of two for Friday.
That's correct.
I am looking for
Mr. Anthony Hester.
HOSTESS: I'm sorry,
sir, we're closed.
I would like for it
to be a surprise.
We're closed, sir.
You can't go back there.
Don't even try it!
Whoa' whoa. Please. Take
your hand out, slowly.
Slowly. DIMITRI: Okay, please.
Dimitri Vetrok.
Cooking Network.
I am here about a food
expo in New Orleans.
You are a contestant m this
year's final cook-off.
No, I'm not.
Try again, you fuck.
My fault, I got
your chest all wet.
No, you are. You're in there.
I entered you in the contest.
What? JULIAN; Yeah.
You did? Yeah.
I am? Yes.
Congratulations.
You're in there.
ANTHONY: Man, what's
the matter with you?
You signed me up
for the Louisiana
Bayou to Bourbon
Street Food Expo?
And I entered you
in the final cook-off.
First place, 50 large.
Yeah? I got nowhere to stay.
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
I got us. You forget I got
family down in New Orleans.
That's my culture.
Culture? Yeah.
Who that said, "They're
going to beat them Saints?
You know, Mama gonna cook you
a big shrimp basket. Sorry.
You know what? Hey, remember this?
Mmm.
JULIAN: Mardi Gras, '99.
ANTHONY: Oh, shit.
JULIAN Remember I was
throwing all those beads
to eighth-grade honeys
with the flat chests?
ANTHONY: You remember that.
That was good.
You remember, uh,
Ms. Hogan's class?
JULIAN: Oh, epic breasts. Epic.
(SIGHS) You know, she
confiscated all my beads,
didn't show me as much as a.
Mmm' but that was a Fat Tuesday.
(CHUCKLES)
So what's it gonna be?
Look, my uncle can put us up
and give us a home
base for the expo.
All right. Fuck it, New Orleans.
Ah' one word.
N'awlins.
Say it with me...
BOTH: N'awlins.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Look at that
We in the Big Easy, baby.
(INAUDIBLE)
(ALL CHEERING)
They didn't have that
last time we were here.
(ALL CHEERING)
JULIAN: Oh, I'm ready. You ready?
(SIREN WAILING)
(INAUDIBLE)
Right? Nice.
JULIAN: Hey! Jackhole.
JULIAN: Big Ray.
What's up, man? Hey, baby.
Good to see you.
Looking good, brother.
Always. What'd you expect?
Man' the whip is nice.
RAY: Absolutely.
Let me get these
bags real quick.
DRIVER: Yeah, right here.
ANTHONY: Thanks, man,
I appreciate it.
This is, uh, my friend and
business partner, Anthony Hester.
How you doing, man'? Anthony.
Hey. Ray Boudreaux.
Welcome to the Big Easy.
Love it.
Ain't that big, ain't
always easy, but it's home.
Yeah. So, uh, what happened
to Jenkins' corner store?
He retired. But your little friend
Simone, she's staying in there.
Whoa. "Big Bone" Simone, huh?
Yeah, that big girl. What?
Okay, she used to eat all
the gumbo and everything.
Jambalaya. All the gumbo.
Everything,
The dirty rice. Ate it all up.
Went to the ass. To the hips?
Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah...
Well, yeah.
In fact, she said one of
you guys can stay with her
'cause I only got
one couch upstairs.
Okay, well, then, uh, look, I'm
gonna stay upstairs with Big Ray.
Yeah, that's all right.
And' uh, you know...
Go on and take
that for the team.
Stay with Simone. Okay.
But she's good. She's
big, but she's sweet.
You'll like her.
So that's not her?
(SCREAMING)
I missed you! Wow! Look at you!
You look great! Uh.
Look at... You got so big.
And you got so small.
But like a good small, though.
Yeah? You look so good.
Oh. Is this your friend?
Anthony, nice to meet you.
I think I'm staying with you.
Oh, I was just telling
Anthony (CLEARS THROAT)
that you're gonna be staying
with Big Ray upstairs.
Well, whatever you guys want'
JULIAN: I know what I want.
Want me to show you inside?
Cool, all right. I'M
go ahead and, uh...
See you at dinner' huh?
Yeah, take care. All right.
Uh, you know, Antoine,
guests in my house
don't have to cook.
Oh, it's Anthony, please.
It's my pleasure. I like
to earn my keep' you know?
You want to come over here
and taste this stuff?
Ah, no, no, no, no. (LAUGHING)
I'm looking forward.
MAN". Big Ray.
Um' listen, y'all
might want to bring
a little something
extra to eat tonight.
No, no. Just bring a
little somethin'- somethin'
RAY: All right. Come on m. Get
this food in here. Come on.
Angie?
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
Is any of this vegetarian?
RAY: All right, come on.
ANTHONY: All right,
who wants the good stuff?
Antoine, he made these ribs.
Okay? Come on. (ALL CHEERING)
MAN: Lord, we would
like to thank you for
bringing this strong
family together today.
And thank you for the bounty
that you have placed upon us.
In Jesus' name, amen.
(RAY SNORES)
JULIAN: And thanks
for bringing the beer.
So rude!
Who made all this?
(INAUDIBLE)
I miss food. Yeah.
ANTHONY: Hey, Big Ray, you tried
that sauce with the ribs?
Oh, yeah. The sauce
was wonderful.
ANTHONY: Right? Mmm-hmm.
Did you try that sauce?
Did y'all try
the barbecue sauce?
What are you doing with
yourself these days, Jackhole?
Jay, um, lives in New York.
I'm a private investigator.
A what? RAY: A private dick.
(ALL LAUGHING)
JULIAN: And, uh..
Private detective, or dick.
I'm a dick, okay?
I'm a dick. All right?
Bullshit. (ALL LAUGHING)
I don't know why
it's so funny. It's true.
We have an office space
we just leased out.
We solve cases.
Yes, we some oases.
We've gotten cases.
How many cases? A lot of cases.
Yeah, we... A lot of cases.
We had one big case
that put us on the map.
But then all of the rest of them
were like little branch cases.
Uh, cheating husbands, alimony
checks not being there.
Child support things, those cases.
We had a murder case.
RAY: So' you're in people's
drawers and pocketbooks?
Something like that. You know.
Hey, sex sells'
(ALL LAUGHING)
What's the name of
this crackerjack outfit?
It's called the Juan
Detective Agency.
You and who else?
You and who?
You and me.
That's okay, Jackhole,
y'all probably just
in it for the pussy.
But that's a good reason
to be in anything.
Ain't that right, baby'?
That's what I'm talking about.
(ALL LAUGHING)
RAY: Hey' Hey.
What's going on?
From the Halls of Montezuma.
Wilson.
Hey, hey.
JULIAN: What's up, man?
I was wondering when
you were showing up.
What's going on, man?
You all right, brother?
Hey, come and have a seat, man.
WILSON: Excuse me for being rude.
I'm sorry.
My military friend here, Nina.
ALL: Hi.
RAY: Pleased to meet you.
Welcome.
Come on in.
JULIAN: So you don't
remember anything?
It's just a blank.
(SIGHS)
Doctors say that it probably
won't ever come back.
But I saw the official story,
and it just doesn't
make any sense.
They said it was
a training exercise.
What kind of training exercise kills
the three highest-ranking officers,
his sergeant and a doggone.
Civilian.
RAY: Yeah, a civilian.
Civilian?
Stripper.
There's rumors going
around that she was...
You know me' Jay.
I love the ladies' but I
would never hurt nobody.
You know that
JULIAN: Now, they're saying it's
some kind of gang rape gone wrong.
Now, look, my cousin
may have blue balls
and absolutely zero game,
but he's no rapist.
So you want to clear his name?
Yeah, and it wouldn't
hurt to gain some points
with the southern relations.
Look, I know I got you into this
competition, and now I'm asking you to.
Nah, man, don't worry about that.
I'll drop out
No, I'm not saying that
I'm saying we do both.
I say we clear my cousin's
name and win the contest.
What do you think?
I say we got our next case.
My man.
Let's go inside, it's cold.
BOJAN: You have failed
in your mission'
The Wolf still needs the plans.
(TATIANA SPEAKING OTHER
LANGUAGE ON PHONE)
BOJAN: That is courteous,
but unnecessary.
Mina's body and personal effects
have been moved off base.
(TATIANA SPEAKING
OTHER LANGUAGE)
For the moment, I do not know.
But that will change.
Mina's body cannot be autopsied
or the nature of our gifts
will become known.
And this will bring
unwanted attention.
Is that clear? Mmm.
Expect my call.
Mina.
MINA: You need some positive
male attention for a change.
(INAUDIBLE)
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
Hi, welcome to
Uptown Speed Dating.
Hi-.
So, are you ready to mingle?
TATIANA: Um...
Yes. Okay, great. So
what's your name?
Um...
My name is Ludmila.
Hi, it's really nice to meet you.
I'm Andrew.
Nice to meet you, too.
How's it going? Jeff. Gabriel.
Bobby. Very nice to meet you.
How are you doing?
Where are you from?
I'm from Croatia.
Mmm, Russia.
I am from Czech Republic.
I like to play soccer.
You like soccer?
I love dancing.
And skiing.
And, uh...
Do you like Chekhov'?
Who's Chekhov?
Yes, the original series Chekov.
Not that douche from the J.J.
Abrams reboot.
My favorite of his would have
to be The Cherry Orchard.
(SNAPS FINGERS)
Up here. Yeah?
Yes.
Switch.
I am a professional gambler.
I'm an actor.
I am hoping to be m
real estate one day.
Do you like real estate?
Um, I'd like to have
a house on the beach.
You look like someone who would
do very well on a beach.
That was very awkward.
I shouldn't say it that way.
I'm just a fitness buff,
a gambling fiend.
Go out every night and
try to pick up women.
Uh, I'm a fashion designer.
A gym teacher.
I work with children,
sick children.
Switch.
I love your eyes and your teeth'
Your smile is very pretty.
Your chin is amazing. My chin?
It's a strong chin.
I don't like these girls
who have the chins,
they start over here
and go all the way down.
I like your eyes a lot.
My eyes or my ass?
You have the most amazing
eyes I've ever seen.
And I'm not a breast guy,
so I think we might work out.
Switch!
You don't have a nametag.
I'm Eric.
This is Cody and Dustin.
Always bring your buddies
with you on a date?
My cousins.
Family is very important to me.
I see.
What do you like to do, Eric'?
Wind-surfing, cooking classes,
watching movies in bed.
Killing people?
Depending on the threat
they pose to my employer.
Yes.
You have the blueprint
of the American exo-armor.
Give them to us,
and you won't have to die.
That's gentlemanly of you, Eric'
MODERATOR; Switch!
I do try.
MODERATOR: Sir, you need
to switch your table,
You only get five minutes.
I know she's pretty, but.
Speed dating, you
have to, like, move.
Come on, buddy, time's up'
I know she's really pretty.
Come on.
Bye.
STEVE: Can't seem to find
normal people at these things.
(CHUCKLES FORCEFULLY)
(CLEARS THROAT)
Okay, um, I'm Sieve.
I'm recently divorced.
(SIGHS)
Boy, you are beautiful.
I'm sorry.
I've been out of the game
for a while, I guess.
You know what,
I don't like this place.
Do you want to go
back to your place?
Whoa.
Uh, yeah.
What do you think? Nice.
Beautiful day
for a beautiful girl.
Why don't you have a seat, and
I'll go get some stuff for us.
Okay!
(GLASS CLATTERS)
(GRUNTING)
(GROANING)
Toad style. (GRUNTS)
(GRUNTING)
I see you know scorpion style.
(GRUNTING)
Seriously, you're
cramping my style.
(TATIANA GRUNTING)
(GROANING)
Here we go. Yoo-hoo!
Do you have a blanket?
It's a little chilly.
Yeah, of course.
(BLOWS KISS)
(GRUNTS)
She likes you, it's okay.
She likes you' really.
(GRUNTING)
(SNIFFING)
(GRUNTING)
Shh.
Is everything okay?
TATIANA Yeah, everything's fine!
(WHISPERING) Quiet!
I'm on a date, okay'?
A kiss of Tainted Love.
(SNIFFS)
(GRUNTING)
Your girlfriend is very lucky.
(GROANING)
All right. Red or white?
Um' whiskey.
Whiskey? Yeah. Yeah.
(CHUCKLING)
(GROANING)
(GRUNTING)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(GRUNTING)
TATIANA: Steve!
Could you change the music?
What would you like to hear?
TATIANA: Just play
something different
(GRUNTING)
(GROANING)
(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
Is that good?
I'm really not
into country music.
Do you have any classical?
I'll see what I can
find on the radio.
TATIANA: Thank you!
(STRAINING)
(GRUNTS)
We shall meet again.
Hi-.
You know, maybe we should have
drinks inside. It's a little cold.
(SIGHS)
Look, Ludmila. Yes?
You seem like
a really nice girl.
I mean, maybe
a little high-maintenance,
but I don't think
I'm ready for this.
Sorry.
Okay?-
JAMES; Pull!
So, Mr. LaMonde.
How's the richest
redneck I know?
Yeah. I know where that is.
Oh, yeah. What do
you know about it?
I didn't want any
forensics tampered with.
God bless the Corps,
but their brass
ain't above
covering their asses.
(sum COCKS)
Plus, we got
appropriations coming up'
Got to keep things clean.
Pull!
(sun COCKS) (LAUGHS)
Well, we'll have to
pick this up next time.
Who?
Coroner. Plaquemines Parish.
She'll be safe there.
Pull!
ANTHONY: Ongoing investigation.
(GRUNTS)
Dead end.
Ah, not necessarily.
I asked him where a guy could go
to pay for some tail around here.
She She's'? Strip club?
I think so.
Big booties? Big booties'
You got singles?
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
(SNIFFING)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hello.
Yeah, I see 'em.
Private eyes?
I'll be back in a sec.
Hey, okay, now.
Ooh. Don't throw it on me.
It's my birthday.
(SNIFFS)
JULIAN: (WHISPERING)
He's got a beard.
CORDRAY: What the fuck
do you want?
You run this spot?
It's my club. We don't
allow dicks back here.
Especially no private dicks.
What do you boys want?
We want to know
about that escort
that was killed at Fort Polk.
We got dancers here.
Artistes.
Girls want to push pussy on their
own time, that's their business.
Kindly go fuck yourselves.
You know anybody
that'd want to hurt her?
What did I say, motherfucker?
Let's get out of here.
No, no, no. Hold up.
One of the men that was wounded
that night was my cousin.
Now somebody gonna give
me some damn information.
I don't give a fuck if it
was your mama in drag.
MY mama?
(GRUNTING)
Um, right by the balls.
(CORDRAY GROANING)
(GRUNTING)
W Wm gun.
Get your ass on your knees.
Get on your knees.
Hey, big man! Put him down.
Get on your knees, too. Come
on, corn-fed. Hurry up.
Uh...
You can go on and go. It
might get a little bloody.
Get a little blood
on your two-piece.
I'm gonna send you a friend
request, though. Okay.
Here, go on and take the gun.
That don't smell right.
All right. I'm about to go
Helen Bingham on his ass.
All right. Talk. Mmm.
Talk. (GROANING)
It was two white girls. Russians,
come in from Galveston'
It wasn't supposed
to go down like that
ANTHONY: What else,
motherfucker?
I don't know shit
about the other girl.
The one that got killed. They
moved her to Plaquemines Parish.
Who told you that?
Ifs professional courtesy to.
JULIAN: Professional courtesy?
Fuck! It was Beau LaMonde.
He's got a gator farm up
in Lake Pontchartrain.
He loves to run his mouth when
his drawers getting worked on.
I swear that's all I got!
That's all you got? Huh?
Mmm? (GROANING)
Huh? CORDRAY: That's all I got.
You got a thong on, too.
Stay on your fucking knees.
JULIAN: Yeah.
Why you got a gold thong on?
CORDRAY: Fucking bastard.
ANTHONY: Let's go, man. Come on.
Let's get out of here.
(SIGHS)
We got to make a right or left?
You got a GPS, man?
(JULIAN WHISTLING)
(KEYPAD BEEPING)
(SWITCH CLICKS)
(JULIAN EXCLAIMS)
ANTHONY: "Mid 20s, excellent
physical condition.
"Signs of pre-mortem
intercourse.
"Contusions, head and neck.
"Multiple bullet wounds.
One fatal shot to the head."
What are you doing, man?
What? Looking for
identifying marks'
No tan lines, nice body.
Oh. Fully shaven. Brazilian.
Vag piercings.
Not a stripper.
Why do you say that?
Well, because there's
too much hardware
that gets tn the way
of the software.
The piercings get caught
in a guy's teeth,
sounds like a door knocker.
(CLICKING TONGUE)
He'd knock a nipple off.
Catastrophe, he can't
make it ram like that.
Pretty good hands, nice hands.
No nail polish.
Hmm.
This tattoo though.
I've seen it before.
ANTHONY: Where?
I don't remember. (WHIRRING)
Um...
(SHUSHING)
(WHISPERING) Hit the lights.
Hit the lights!
Uh...
Hey, man, let me m.
Come on, man!
There's no room, man.
Get the fuck out of here.
Come on, man!
JULIAN: Damn n.
Whoa...
Goodness! Oh, okay.
Okay?-
(GRUNTING)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
Oh, Lord.
(JULIAN GROANING)
Oh, man.
(INHALING)
(DOOR OPENING)
Hey, what you waiting for?
Those girls definitely weren't strippers.
Yeah. I told you.
I had to lay next to a dead guy.
He was musty.
Bucket list, man. (GRUNTS)
(GUNSHOT)
JULIAN: Shit! Get down!
ANTHONY: Watch it!
JULIAN: Hurry up!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(GUNSHOTS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Oh, I think I got hit.
(GROANS) Okay.
(WINCES)
Jay?
Oh! Hey!
What happened?
Uh, just a little
complication in the case.
Complication?
Yeah. It's all good.
Do you need some help with that?
Maybe. Okay, great.
Sit. Just sit down. Okay.
I'll be right back. Okay.
All right. (CHUCKLES)
(EXHALES)
(WHISPERING) Breathe, breathe.
What are you doing?
Take your pants off.
I've seen you with less
clothes on than that before.
All right. Uh, okay. Okay.
I remember when you used to give
me looks when we were kids.
(GROANS)
I guess I was a little chubby
chaser back then, right?
No, I mean, but
you've changed, girl!
Tattoos and everything. I can do tats.
That's what I do now.
Well, I admire a man
who will risk his life
to save his family.
What can I say? That's what I do.
I risk for the family.
You really grew up.
(INAUDIBLE)
ANTHONY: So, that's it. Julian's
cousin's completely innocent'
Mmm, I knew n.
But if you're just gonna
whack the top brass,
why go somewhere
where you're guaranteed
to get caught
and killed yourself?
I think they were at the
base for something else.
We just don't know what it is yet.
(LAUGHING)
My man.
So, what's the bad news?
What's the bad news?
RAY: You and Jackhole let some
motherfucker shoot up my goddamn car?
Oh, son of a bitch!
If it makes you feel any better,
Jules got a flesh wound.
Good, God damn it!
Where's your motherfucking
flesh wound?
If it wasn't the Chinese,
who were they?
I don't know.
But they obviously had
the same intel we did.
(BOJAN SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
Whoever" they were, you will
have to deal with them.
And your former
employer, Mr, Cordray.
I will inform the Wolf that
these plans are incomplete.
We will have to
find another way.
Boss. (TAPPING)
Boss, wake up. Boss.
What? Camera three.
CORDRAY: (SNIFFS)
Go check it out.
(SIGHS)
(GUNSHOT)
CORDRAY: Casey?
Casey?
(GROANING)
Oh, fuck!
Bitch!
Two men who came by,
who were they?
(sum-nus)
Who were they?
Couple pie-ass Pls
from New York.
I didn't tell them nothing.
I know what you told them.
You fucking shot me.
I have something for the pain.
(CORDRAY SNIFFLES)
This is how I'm going out?
Yes.
No bitches on my hp?
Is that better?
Actually, yeah.
I want you to know
it's nothing personal.
I don't give a...
(SCATTING)
(GUITAR STRUMMING)
(SCATTING CONTINUES)
Sounds good.
(CHUCKLING) Thank you, partner.
Hey, Big Ray,
let me ask you a question.
Hit me, Antoine.
Remember those, uh,
ribs that I made?
Yeah.
What was wrong with them?
Well, there was nothing
wrong with them exactly.
In fact, I don't think I've ever
had a rib sauce so precise.
What they lacked was
passion, spontaneity.
See, there's three things
in life you got to riff,
Cooking, playing jazz,
and fucking.
So, what do I do'?
Man, you know how
to fuck, don't you?
Good-looking white boy like
you must get plenty of tail.
See, you got to...
You got to give
yourself over to it.
Just riff' brother. Just riff.
I don't really do that
Yeah. Well, the levees
wasn't built in a day.
I can help you with
the cooking and the jazz,
but the fucking you got to
do on your own. (LAUGHING)
See, it's like this. It's about the...
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
About the... (HUMMING)
When you get the good
food, you say...
(STRUMS) Mmm.
Right? And when you get
the good jazz, you say...
Mmm! Mmm!
And, boy' you get
that good pussy,
it's sure gonna make you say.
Mmm! Mmm!
Let's go back to the...
(HUMMING)
Come on. (HUMMING)
That's what I'm talking about.
Then you got to say.
Mmm!
I feel dirty. I feel dirty now.
Grab your nuts. Grab your nuts.
Hold on to them nuts,
say... Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
One more time, say...
Mmm!
(SINGING) Baby, you go!
that good pussy
Oh, yeah, that's what
I'm talking about
Spread them pretty legs And let
me sink between them, yeah
(LAUGHS)
Oh, baby!
Oh, baby!
I think I'm ready.
I think I'm ready.
Let me hear that fucking.
(GUITAR STRUMS) Mmm!
Ow! Ow!
And finally you say.
(BOTH HUMMING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
All right, all right.
You got it, baby. (LAUGHING)
Thank you. I appreciate it.
Let me make you some breakfast, yeah?
All right.
What do you want?
What do you want?
Some pussy. (CHUCKLES)
(BEEPING)
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
GUY: Welcome to
the Barataria Bayou Barn!
(APPLAUSE)
I'm Guy Mancini.
And this is Americana Chophouse!
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
Today on the Chophouse,
we are going to feed you
the filet mignon of the bayou.
The American alligator.
We are going to cue 'em
and stew 'em and feed
'em to you good folks.
And this particular gator that
we're going to enjoy today
came right out of
the bayous behind us.
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
(APPLAUSE)
Before we go any further though,
I would also like to say thanks
to the man who provided us with
the space and the game today,
Mr. Beau LaMonde. (APPLAUSE)
Looking very sharp back there.
(WHISPERING)Wail.
Isn't he the one.
Cordray mentioned. Probably
tipped off the assassins.
Go try and get close to him.
GUY: Well, first things first
Got to have a nice, sharp knife.
So, we're going to
start up here, high.
Can you hang on to it for me?
ANTHONY: Yeah.
Keep this thing from
spinning right here.
It's like that saying.
"Bravest man I ever saw, the
first to eat an oyster raw."
I'd like to see the first guy who
wrestled one of these things
and go, "I'm hungry."
(ALL LAUGHING)
You got to go on in there, you
got to go through the rib cage.
But you don't want to
bypass the stomach either.
'Cause we found a 12-pound
catfish in one of them one time.
We smoked it up with some pecan shells.
It was delicious.
Okay, here we go.
Feel around in the stomach right there.
You see it?
See the stomach right there?
Feel around, see if you can
find anything in there.
You feel anything?
I got something solid.
Well, it could be a turtle.
They eat those whole.
You can make a soup out of that
No, I don't think it's a turtle.
Let's see. Can you get it out?
It's not a turtle.
Hmm.
Oh-ho!
ANTHONY; Fuck.
GUY: Whoa, that's not a turtle.
Let's, uh, put that in a pan.
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
Never found one of those before.
That's... Getting a little
too curious about...
GUY: What is it?
Are you missing somebody?
MAN: Whoa, what's up,
Beau? What is that?
GUY: I'm cutting open a gator, I'm cooking
this food. What the hell is that?
ANTHONY: That was definitely that
girl from the morgue's hand.
She had the tattoo.
She also had these
weird metallic implants.
Wasn't on the coroner's report.
JULIAN: That ought to raise
a red flag at Homicide.
ANTHONY: Or not.
JULIAN; What was that?
That's Louisiana justice.
We got to get by that water, man
There's going to be more
evidence around there.
The water? Like, where
the gators are? Yeah.
And they're doing gator shit,
like devouring human parts?
You know what we gotta do over
there, right? We're gonna look.
No, you going
to look over there.
Hell' no, I'm not going there.
We're both going over.
Come on. Let's go. What?
Man' I hate gators.
SECURITY' Sir,
I can't understand you.
What?
Could you speak English please?
ANTHONY: They probably dumped
the body over by the bridge.
(JULIAN MURMURS)
ANTHONY: Just keep
your eyes open, all right?
JULIAN: I got 'em open.
I'm looking.
I don't like the look
of this water.
Shit, look. It's right there.
See?
JULIAN: See what?
You want me to what?
Like kill 'em?
You understand that?
I'm going to send
the other two dudes.
We got two creepers on the
northwest side of Upper Kenter.
Take 'em out.
Them two dudes.
Look at 'em.
Little mini steps.
Creeping-
I can't get wet.
I can't believe you're
making me do this, man.
I thought our friendship
meant more.
You know the largest gator ever
found was 1809, Louisiana.
JULIAN: Really? ANTHONY:
19 feet, 1,000 pounds.
Okay, that's not cool, man.
Wrong timing.
Give me your hand.
ANTHONY: Oh, fuck!
JULIAN: Reach.
ANTHONY: Pull, pull!
You need more than that. JULIAN:
It was your idea, you know.
ANTHONY: Dude, don't
let me fucking...
Grab it. I got it. Fuck.
Dude, this is the same one that
we found in that girl's hand.
Pull me out, man.
Hey, is that a gator?
(GRUNTING)
Pull me, man! Pull me!
(GRUNTING)
Oh, Shit! Shit! Pull!
Go, go, go, man! Come on!
JULIAN: Come on. Come on!
Come on, run!
Come on.
Come on.
You know how to drive one of these?
My cousin had one.
Come on, come on. Lay low!
Push, man, push! Come on!
(GUNSHOTS)
Where should we go? I don't know!
Just keep going!
Hey, skeletal augmentation
with titanium alloy.
These are not ordinary
assassins, man.
Who's that? Can you see?
Holy shit!
JULIAN: She's shooting.
Go this way! Go down that canal.
ANTHONY: Fuck, I don't Know
where this leads, man.
(TATIANA SPEAKING
OTHER LANGUAGE)
Push it faster!
Anthony' faster!
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
You missed us, bitch!
We're out of here!
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
ANTHONY: Wait a minute.
She's gaining on us.
She's got the scope. Come on!
You gotta go side to side. Side to side!
We gotta shake them!
JULIAN: We're not losing her!
I think there's something up here.
Make a left.
Hold on, man! Hold on!
(SCREECHES)
ANTHONY: Hold on! Hold on!
JULIAN: Can't this thing
go faster?
ANTHONY: Big bump! Hold on!
(GRUNTS)
Motherfucker! Yeah! Whoo!
Fuck!
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
ANTHONY: Bio-enhanced assassins.
That's some real black ops shit.
Who are they? What did
they want at Fort Polk?
I've been thinking,
maybe it's some kind of
ultra high-tech weapons system.
JULIAN: And I've been
thinking about that tattoo.
I know I've seen it
somewhere, like, on a woman.
I'm gonna need your
help remembering that.
Yeah.
Last year, my physics
adviser had a meeting
with some researchers
at Fort Pork'
and he came back and he...
JULIAN: Simone.
You mind if we talk
about this later?
Okay, sure.
I'm gonna be in my room.
All right. You ready
to get to work?
Yeah. Cue the music,
let's do it.
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
(JULIAN MOANING)
Baby, get it right there.
Oh.
Hey.
What is going on here?
Ah, how do I say this?
Julian's got what he calls
a pornographic memory.
You mean photographic memory?
ANTHONY; No.
Total sexual recall. He says he can
literally never forget a fuck.
I need quiet.
ANTHONY: Right now he's going
through his memory banks.
For fun?
For the job. (SCOFFS)
Okay, okay.
You're saying he's going
into this memory of his
and recalling all the girls
he's ever slept with?
How long could
that possibly take?
Oh. Ooh.
(PANTING)
You got 15 minutes.
(JULIAN MOANING)
Oh, do that right there.
Ooh, girl!
Oh, yeah, I remember that night.
She had so many tattoos.
She had, like,
Egyptian hieroglyphics.
"Savage North or "South,"
or something like that.
No. That's not it.
Jessica, I remember her.
Yeah. She kind of had
a little mustache, but...
No, that wasn't a tattoo.
Ah, twerking Tina. TINA: Yeah.
JULIAN: Yes. Twerking Tina.
Where's that tattoo?
No, she had a buttery. Oh!
My Asian persuasion.
The tramp stamp.
And the sleeve.
Oh, but she would slap so hard.
No, damn it!
Ooh.
Flapjacks. Yes, I know
she had a tattoo.
Oh, it was a rose.
I'm looking for
that damn scorpion.
Oh, yes!
The two wild shippers.
They had a lot of tattoos.
What were their tattoos'?
Oh, that's right.
What did she have, like a
magic dragon or something?
No, it wasn't a scorpion.
Oh, but she was
working her body.
Then we went to Pinkberry
after that.
Ooh, Simone. (MOANS)
JULIAN' Girl, you slimmed up.
What was you doing, Herbalife?
Oh, yeah. She had a fire dragon.
It was like a phoenix.
(GASPS) No!
You are so bad.
JULIAN: She didn't have a tattoo,
why is she in this sequence?
Get me out of here! (GASPS)
Oh!
How long was I under?
ANTHONY: Three hours. Any luck?
No, wrong context
Simone, you said you,
uh, know a professor
who did some work at Fort Polk?
Oh, yeah. My physics advisor.
He wanted to get physical.
I didn't do it.
I could've got an A.
They offered me a lot of money for a
few equations, and I turned them down.
So, uh, what they were making
was pretty expensive, huh?
It was revolutionary. (CHUCKLES)
But by now I'm sure
it's being developed
by every industrialized country
and every big corporation
with a robotics division.
I heard the Chinese
are particularly interested.
Enough to hire assassins
to infiltrate a US base?
That's about as much as
I'm comfortable saying.
Anyway, remind Simone she
owes me, uh, extra credit.
Okay. Thanks for your time.
Appreciate n. Mmm-hmm.
All right. Get that
extra credit, huh?
(HANNAH PLAYING PIANO)
(LAPTOP BEEPING)
Ms. Wollcrofl.
Professor Gussain.
How can I help you?
Thefts of ballistic software
in Mumbai seven months ago,
Stockholm two months ago, now a
failed attempt at Fort Polk'
HANNAH: Is there
a question here?
I want to know what
you people are up to.
Ask yourself if that's something
you'd really like to Know.
Because I can oblige you.
Others are beginning
10 find out.
Do yourself a favor, Professor,
leave others to
the professionals.
Good day.
BOJAN: It is gone.
Worried about your safety?
That is good. You should be.
The Wolf needs you.
To do what?
Extrapolate from
incomplete blueprints.
Fill in what we are missing.
As of this morning, Fort
Polk will no longer house
the military's exo-project.
Security there is about as
tight as my wife's rear end.
I had a feeling
you'd ask me that
Turns out that girl's body
up and walked off after all.
Right after I told you
where she was.
Now you, son,
are not your daddy.
Frankly, I don't know
what you are.
I do Know your
ambitions go beyond his,
and it's got you mixed up with
folks he wouldn't approve of.
(CHUCKLES)
As chair of the Senate committee
on national security,
I know a hell of a lot.
Take my advice,
don't leave the country.
Wouldn't want to have
to serve an indictment
to some spider hole somewhere.
Go on, we're done here.
Go on with you now. Go on.
(ENGINE STARTS)
Motherfucker.
(DOOR CLOSES)
(DOG BARKING)
(ON PHONE)
Yes, this is Dragovic.
Keep working.
BOJAN: What did you say?
What did you say'!?
What did you say'!?
(BARKING)
(GROWLING)
(GRUNTING)
(CELL PHONE CHIMING)
(EXHALES)
Yeah.
BOJAN: New orders from the Wolf.
You are going to pay a
visit to Senator Barnes.
And thus time, Tatiana,
do not fuck it up.
ANTHONY: Who has jurisdiction over
Fort Polk? Non-military, I mean.
Senator James Barnes.
ANTHONY: All right, we're
gonna hit Barnes' office
in Baton Rouge in the morning'
Wait, Barnes is in
town this weekend.
Today's the annual
gala for Tulane alumni.
Gussain is supposed to go.
Hmm.
JULIAN: Whoa! She got
those Helen Binghams.
Wow. You really
don't stop, do you?
What? Hang on, no. I know
where I saw that tattoo.
Oh, shit. Bingham.
Pay attention. I have a
little business to attend to.
Catalina, take this.
Look after Mummy, will you?
ANTHONY: Of course. The Order
of the Ghost Scorpion.
Order of the what now?
It was this
post-Cold War experiment,
an attempt to fill the power
vacuum after the Wall came down'
An international consortium
of assassins. (G ROANS)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Here.
HELEN: Do you need a moment?
(GUNSHOT)
BOJAN: What did you
say your name was?
Bingham. Helen Bingham.
ANTHONY'. Bojan Dragovic
was a godfather and guru.
An expert in irregular warfare
and bio-enhancement
technologies.
The titanium bones.
That's right.
He created a cadre
of super-assassins.
After the oligarchs bought
out Russian intelligence,
Dragovic brought the organization
into the private sector,
working with whoever
was willing to pay.
Most recently, a financier
known as the Wolf.
How do you know all this?
I just know where to look,
Tor, Deep Web' Wikipedia.
(TYPING)
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
What? What is it?
Uh, it's Professor Gussain.
Mmm. It's for you.
The Wolf plans to
kill Barnes today.
I got to get this number to Barnes'
security, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Gussain contacted us.
So what?
That means he's too scared
to contact anyone else.
Even the Senator's security.
The Wolf's got
people everywhere.
If we're going to do something,
we've got to do it on our own.
Where's this gala at?
Still so much like the intern
I took on 20 years ago.
You couldn't take no for
an answer then either.
I suppose that's part of your
appeal to your investors.
I'm glad you made
it tonight' James.
After our last meeting.
Oh, oh, oh.
Even old friends don't
always see eye-to-eye.
I hope you don't need my
affirmation anymore, Hannah.
No' but I'll always
need your vote, Senator.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
Ah.
If you'll excuse me. Of course.
This is Hannah Wollcrcft.
Yes, I'll take the call.
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
Hey, what time
are we starting at?
Already started, man.
Oh, shit.
Play it cool. Play it cool.
Play it cool.
I need to see some IDs.
(CLEARS THROAT) You
know, she got my ID.
Oh! You got the.
I keep 'em in here.
(CHUCKLES) Mmm-hmm.
Yeah, I left them at home. What?
Girl, check the left titty.
Check the left titty.
You need ID just to get
into a wedding reception?
Oh, no, wedding reception
is right around this corner.
First floor, the Bayou Room.
ANTHONY: Great, thank you.
Take care, guys. Let
me see your ID, man.
You really work here?
SIMONE: Bye!
JULIAN: And these spots normally
have rooms we can cut through, so...
ANTHONY: Yeah, we'll go. We'll
find another way through.
JULIAN; All right.
BEST MAN: Whoever would've guessed me
tossing Terrible Timmy out of the ring
would literally land
him in the lap of love?
(APPLAUSE)
Look at this couple,
aren't they great?
Hey, man, high five.
Look at this hot couple.
I mean, come on. (APPLAUSE)
Enough of me and the word games.
Let's hear some of
Tina and Tim's friends'
words of encouragement and love.
You, sir, you. Red tie,
come here for a second.
Me? BEST MAN: You. Come here.
You sure you want me?
BEST MAN: Just say something
about this great couple.
No, you. (CHUCKLES)
(ALL CHEERING)
Well, uh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
What can I say about the
bride and groom, right,
that hasn't already
been said, huh?
Well, I met...
Tim. Tim?
Met Tim in a, uh..
A mini-bar in Little Tokyo,
and we got into some small
talk' had some short ribs.
And what can I say
about the bride, right?
She's so effervescent.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Tina? (MOANING)
Tina? Yeah.
Twerking Tina?
It is a small world.
(STUTTERING)
You know what I mean.
(CHUCKLES)
Tina and I, uh,
met at a strip club...
Mall. Strip mall,
met at a strip mall.
And, um...
I always said,
with that kind of ass.
Assets. She has many assets
that work in her favor.
And I always thought that she
was destined for big things.
Obviously, we all know that big
things come in small packages.
Or smaller packages, right?
Anyways, do you
still have that tattoo?
She has a great
tattoo of a cowgirl
holding a lasso.
So every time she'd twerk,
the lasso would just.
It would whip like that.
It would just do
a little whip like that
It was a pelvic thrust
that she would do.
Anyways, we all have a style.
I have a style.
You all have a style.
Breaking Bad, you have a style.
And if tiny Tim can handle that,
then more power to you,
and if he can't...
Then, girl' you need to call me.
All right, okay.
(MIC FEEDBACK)
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
(GRUNTING)
JULIAN: Ah!
This isn't a fair fight!
How many of y'all want some?
ANTHONY: Come on. Dump this shit.
MAN: Switch!
(SCREAMING)
JULIAN: Okay, okay!
Hold up! He got my ribs!
My balls.
Get off of him now!
(SCREAMING)
TINA; Put him down!
JULIAN: Oh, you...
JULIAN: Let me get mine! Let
me get on my feet. (GRUNTS)
Y'all lucky I don't
call my cousins!
You know you're
the only one I love.
All right, come on.
SIMONE: What was that?
What? I got caught in
my pornographic memory mode.
Worlds collide, okay?
Hey' will you guys knock it off?
We got a life to save.
We gotta find the Senator.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
HANNAH: All assets are in place.
You are weapons free.
(WHISTLING) TATIANA: Excuse me.
Remember me?
Mmm'?
Oh, shit.
TATIANA: Relax. (JULIAN GROANS)
TATIANA: Everything's
going to be fine.
(JULIAN'S HEART THUMPING)
Close your eyes.
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
Almost there.
TATIANA: I have eyes on him.
The Order has lowered
its standards, huh?
No more world
powers for clients.
No more finger on
the pulse of history.
Now you're just
another corporate tool.
A cog in the wheel.
Shut up, Mr Hester.
Whoa.
SIMONE: Jay?
Jay?
Hello'? Jay? Wake up, baby.
Come on.
Wake up!
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
Do you like Chekhov'?
You don't mean chief navigator
of the Enterprise,
so Cherry Orchard,
Uncle Vanya, Three Sisters...
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
A little college Russian.
Tatiana, kill him.
I want you to know
it's nothing personal.
I think it is.
Ah, for fuck's sake, Tatiana.
(HANNAH SPEAKING MANDARIN)
Stand down,
I repeat, stand down.
Report back for instructions.
BOJAN: How dare you
interrupt our work!
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
Is our deal off?
No. Our deal is no
longer necessary.
(GUNSHOT)
The Olsen twins
are waiting for you.
(MUTTERING) Right? Right?
Sh.
Listen, I'm going to
try to go get some help,
'cause he needs to
go to the hospital.
Keep that head up.
Hey, hey' hey!
Mmm.
Come here. Come here.
The Wolf wants
to see both of you.
Now.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Dragno?
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
(SCOFFS)
And here I thought all this
daddy-issue, killer-cow
bullshit was just a sales ploy.
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
Only because I can
see you're hurting.
Tonight, our chief
Chinese competitor,
having developed
their own exo-project
in parallel with
the US military,
agreed to a merger.
We no longer need the US
government or their exo-armor.
We have our own.
It's so much more civilized
that way, don't you think?
Our Chinese counterpart made the
merger conditional in dissolving
all of our previous
entanglements.
Which unfortunately
means all of you.
Dispose of them.
ANTHONY: If a black
market weapons dealer
fucked the madam of a
cripples-only orphanage
while Gordon Gekko
came on their faces,
the thing they'd make
would be you'
The Wolf.
You flatter me.
This time make sure the
bodies are never found.
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
Your handler got
what he deserves.
So will you.
My handler?
He was the only father
I've ever known.
I lost my family.
No one fucking cares.
And no more talking. We're
almost to the drop zone.
There's no reason to go on.
Yeah?
There's always stripping, if
you need a reason to live.
Jules' you okay, man? Yeah.
Non-lethal dose of Propofol.
But he's going to wish
he didn't wake up.
You need a reason to go
on, now about vengeance?
We'll help you.
Hey, man.
So the bodies don't float.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
PILOT: Hey, what's going
on back there' guys?
Hey, man, I don't
approve of all of that.
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
What was it, the stripping
or the vengeance?
All right, I need a little help.
Need a little help, guys!
Tony, get him out!
You know what you're doing?
TATIANA: I learned in the army.
Tank's been shot.
We're losing fuel fast.
We'll have just enough
to reach our destination.
What's that?
Vengeance.
We're going to the Wolf's den.
JULIAN: The Wolf's Den?
Is that a strip club?
(EXHALES)
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
We have severed all ties.
So it's a dean start.
(MR. LIAO SPEAKING MANDARIN)
We're very happy
And now, Ms. Wollcroft,
3 present to you,
proof of concept and a
token of our friendship.
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
(LAPTOP BEEPS)
(WHIRRING CONTINUES)
HANNAH: They're not
slowing down.
(SIGHS) Take care of it.
GUARD: Yes, ma'am.
(GUNSHOTS)
JULIAN: All right, what's the plan?
What's the plan?
You jump. I'll crash land.
Crash? You ain't got
a better plan than that?
There's got to be a better plan.
If things had been different.
I know, it would've been great.
(GUNSHOTS)
JULIAN: Come on, man,
we got to go.
We're jumping, man.
Go, go. Jump.
I'm scared of heights.
(SCREAMING)
O-M-G!
(SPUTTERING)
(JULIAN EXCLAIMS)
JULIAN: Whoo! Whoo!
Come on, man. Go, go!
Go! Move! Move! Go!
I don't wanna die!
Go! Go! Go! Go!
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on! Come on, man!
JULIAN: Oh, God!
Fuck!
Get down, man! Get down!
We got to move. (GRUNTING)
Stay down! Stay the fuck down!
JULIAN: Oh, my God!
(GUNSHOTS)
(GUN CLICKING)
(PANTING)
What happened?
What happened?
You see something?
ANTHONY; Shit.
(GASPS) They're dead.
MAN: Stop right there!
(GROANING)
(ARMOR WHIRRING)
You're enhanced, I'm enhanced.
So why don't we just fight this
out like civilized people?
(GRUNTS)
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
You have a lifetime of training
on me, I'll give you that.
But I have the best combat
software money can buy.
(GRUNTS)
(BONES CRACKING) (GROANING)
What is it you always say?
It's nothing personal.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(BEEPING)
This time it is, bitch.
(BEEPING)
(GRUNTS)
(BEEPING) (GASPS)
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
Hey!
POLICE: Drop your weapons!
ANTHONY: We're
private detectives!
Hands where we can see 'em!
JULIAN: We're on the same team!
Wait! Stop! They're the good guys.
They're with me.
Hey! Oh, my God!
POLICE: Come on, guys, sweep the house.
Come on in.
Are you okay? POLICE:
Sweep the house.
Go on and sweep the house, bro.
There's some bad guys in there.
It was crazy. I had to slide.
I picked up a gun.
I started shooting back.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Thank you. SIMONE: Are you okay?
New W!'
Just want you to know,
I blamed it all on you.
Good, 'cause
I blamed it on you' too.
Dam!
SIMONE: They found
Dr. Gussain this morning.
ANTHONY: Yeah? SIMON E; Alive.
Mmm.
Get him down! Get him down!
Watch it!
Let's get him out of here.
Oh, and they arrested
Beau LaMonde.
Oh, see? It's good.
POLICE: Show me your hands, now!
(CHUCKLING) Guess there's
nothing left to do but
go get on a plane
back to New York, huh'?
No, we're not going nowhere, you still
got a competition to win. Let's go.
All right, Anthony. (LAUGHING)
Take care of yourself. You, too.
Take care. Hey.
You cleared Wilson's name and you
caught some really bad folks.
You done us proud.
Thanks, Big Ray.
Maybe I can visit more often.
Oh, hell no.
But listen, you are gonna kick out
for the bodywork on that Caddy,
Mr. Big Fancy Pl.
And you tell Antoine I
said, "Riff that shit up."
Big Ray, man.
It's you, man. You the man.
Take care. SIMONE: Nice sweater.
You know what, fuck you.
GUY: And the action
is fast and furious here
as our chefs are preparing
their catfish courtbouillon.
It's gonna be some
seriously good food here.
It's already smelling wonderful,
and we haven't even
lit the fire yet.
We'll be back here on
Bayou to Bourbon Street
right after this.
(BELL RINGING)
GUY: Can we get some
stage hands up here
and push this table
out of the way?
JULIAN: Sorry, coming through.
Excuse us.
MAN: Anthony, where you been?
You're a little late.
GUY: Is this our chef?
Hey, how y'all doing?
Hi, Anthony Hester.
Sorry about that.
Hi, Chef Tardy, how are you'?
Who's this? Are Batman
and Robin gonna cook?
No, I'm just his manager.
Manager?
You could've managed to get
him here quicker, you think?
I love this guy, right?
JULIAN: You got this.
ANTHONY: Shit, man, I
haven't had any prep time.
What? What are you
talking about?
Remember what Big Ray said, "Let
it flow, just let it flow."
(BELL RINGS)
MAN: Back in five, people.
All right, let it flow.
Flow on out of here.
Four, three, two.
Off the stage.
Calm down, Chef Boyardee.
And we're back here on
Bayou 10 Bourbon Street,
and the action is
fast and furious.
I'm Guy Mancini, and you can
see our chefs are really
flying into ii.
Yeah, and what do
we see over here?
Jamie is Knocking out. It looks
like Jamie is making a mirepoix.
Yeah, all of our chefs are really...
Jay, what's he doing?
GUY: ...really getting involved.
Oh, he's focusing his energy.
He'll be all right.
Tearing it up over here as they
prepare their catfish courtbouillon.
He looks paralyzed.
No, no, no. He knows
what he's doing.
RAY". You got to give
yourself over to it.
Just riff, brother. Just riff.
JULIAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do that.
GUY: We've got a lot
of action going on.
Let's see what he
does with his fish,
'cause everybody else
is so far ahead of him.
JULIAN: Come on, Anthony.
SIMONE: Looking good, Anthony.
GUY: I know
you can't really rush art,
but we are gonna rush our catfish
courtbouillons over here.
JULIAN: Oh, there it is.
Looking at him.
GUY: Scoring his fish.
(JULIAN WHOOPING)
Oh, Jesus, it's a fire!
Anybody ever seen anything like
this before? (CROWD CHEERING)
Ladies and gentlemen,
you're looking at a winner.
GUY: Wow, it's smelling
really good, too.
JULIAN: You're the best!
Around.
GUY: And next up is Chef
Anthony Hester's new creation
of, uh, catfish amandine.
We'll start with you, Carol.
I see some...
This dish is superb.
...real soul in here.
I can taste the
passion in this dish.
This dish is very complex,
to the point of being dangerous.
ANNOUNCER". Crotch crickets
ruining your love life?
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Consult your doctor.
GUY: And our judges
have conferred.
And after tasting all
of our entries today,
they have come to a conclusion.
JUDGE: And the winner of today's
Bayou to Bourbon Street Festival
is none other than.
Alligator cheesecake? Mmm-hmm.
We can do that.
Okay?-
Yeah, and if you see Big
Ray, tell him I said hi.
Okay, I love you.
SIMONE: I love you.
How's Simone? Hey. She's good.
I told her maybe I'll fly
down for Mardi Gras. Ah!
Anthony Hester. (APPLAUSE)
(JULIAN WHOOPING)
I understand that you have
a restaurant up in New York.
Yes. What's the name of it?
Give it a plug.
Uh... Uh...
GUY". Name. Name
of the restaurant.
ANTHONY: It's... Hey,
man, I like the new name.
ANTHONY: I'm kind of in between names.
Thanks, Jules.
Okay, here we go right here.
Your marinated kale.
And that is your fresh salad.
All right, it's good. Come, come.
Go, go, go, Table 3.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(WHIRRING)
Mr. Hester.
I have no weapons.
Your whole body is a weapon.
What other parts
of you are enhanced?
Want me to show you?
No matter what, I can't
believe he'd do this to me.
Three women at once?
Two girls and.
Who is she'? Their fucking grandmother?
I mean, what?
The man is a sick bastard.
He's not that bad.
It was on his business card.
It was a joke.
(SCOFFS)
You're better off
without him. Okay?
Now can we change the subject?
We've been talking about your
ex since we left Pristina.
(DOOR CLATTERS)
(MAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
Whoa!
What the fuck are you doing?
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
(INAUDIBLE)
WOMAN: Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo!.!
Hey, ifs time to go.
We got to get out of here.
Wilson, let's go!
Private, we're leaving!
CORDRAY: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hang tight.
Not seeing anything you like?
Our orders are very specific.
We're looking for something
a little more high-grade.
I got two smoke shows coming up.
Brand-new, fresh
fucking racehorses.
Sit down, give me two minutes.
(WOMAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
You need some positive male
attention for a change.
I mean...
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
Move on.
Hey, you two Polacks are up.
Let's go.
Now! Let's go! Come on!
CORDRAY: All right, all right.
Gentlemen, give it up
for our next act.
We got some European
beauties for you.
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
High-grade enough for you?
DUQUESNE: Yeah,
these two will work.
OFFICER: Look at
those fake titties.
Well, there you go.
(GRUNTING)
Oh, yeah.
OFFICER 1: Damn, I could
tear that shit up'
OFFICER 2; Yeah.
FREDERICKSON: Beautiful.
Oh, my gosh.
OFFICER: Grind on her,
baby, come on now.
Put her down nice and soft.
FREDERICKSON: Excellent
taste as always, Sergeant.
OFFICER' Grind on her.
Grind it' baby!
Sergeant, good job. Good job.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
I need to pee.
FREDERICKSON: Pee'? Wait, wait, wait.
Don't go.
You can pee on me. (GRUNTS)
You dirty little boy.
Oh!
(LAUGHING)
I love you, baby. I love you!
OFFICER: Dirty dog.
You're a sicko.
You're sick, dog.
Private, accompany
our guest to the latrine.
Thank you.
Right this way, ma'am'
Thank you for the escort.
(BEEPING)
That's a long-ass piss.
(KEYPAD BEEPING)
(BEEPING)
(DOOR CLOSES)
MAN: (LAUGHING) My turn.
What's your status?
Two minutes,
but I may not have n.
Hold your position, I'm coming.
MAN: Oh' my God.
We'll rendezvous later.
Mina. Just do it!
Activity in Sector C.
MAN ON RADIO: Copy that.
(KNOCKING)
Ma'am.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Ma'am.
Oh!
Security, we have a civ
unaccompanied on the base.
I repeat, a civ
unaccompanied on the base.
Where the fuck did she go? You
were supposed to be with her.
I don't know'
she just disappeared.
(BEEPING)
What the hell are
you doing in here?
Just me.
(GROANS)
SOLDIER: Drop your weapon!
(GROANING)
MAN ON PA: We are Code Orange in Sector 3.
This is not a drill.
(GRUNTING)
SOLDIER: Show me
your fucking hands!
(GROANS)
Mina!
(GROANS)
Don't move!
Put your fucking hands up!
Get 'em up!
What do you want?
Who sent you?
It's nothing personal.
What isn't personal?
(GROANS)
This.
Mina, where are you?
MINA: Tatiana, go, save yourself.
It's too hot.
TATIANA: Mina.
(OPERA MUSIC PLAYING)
So, what's it gonna be?
What's what gonna be?
The new name of the restaurant?
I think the space is
too small for
"Bitch Who Broke My Heart
and Took Half of My Shit."
Dude. What? Too soon?
You can change it to
Catalina Spanish Bitch-re.
You know what you need, man?
You need to get out of Brooklyn.
Cat's gone, Jules, that's a fact
whether I'm here
or somewhere else.
JULIAN: That's right, but, look,
we need to go somewhere' too.
Take your mind off the whole
restaurant thing and this chick.
Emmett' cut that on the bias. On the bias.
You know better.
Yeah, chop, chop.
Hi' Michelle. Let's see what you've got.
JULIAN: Looks good.
Needs acid. Just a little
bit, though' okay?
MICHELLE: Sure.
JULIAN: It needs sea salt.
Hey, man. Uh.
You ever thought
about making short ribs
or cooking burritos
or something? Mmm?
ANTHONY: Why don't you go
clean the dishes for me, man?
Really? Come on, lazy ass.
The dishes? Watch out.
This ain't 12 Years a Slave.
HOSTESS: Brown.
(KEYPAD CLICKING)
Party of two for Friday.
That's correct.
I am looking for
Mr. Anthony Hester.
HOSTESS: I'm sorry,
sir, we're closed.
I would like for it
to be a surprise.
We're closed, sir.
You can't go back there.
Don't even try it!
Whoa' whoa. Please. Take
your hand out, slowly.
Slowly. DIMITRI: Okay, please.
Dimitri Vetrok.
Cooking Network.
I am here about a food
expo in New Orleans.
You are a contestant m this
year's final cook-off.
No, I'm not.
Try again, you fuck.
My fault, I got
your chest all wet.
No, you are. You're in there.
I entered you in the contest.
What? JULIAN; Yeah.
You did? Yeah.
I am? Yes.
Congratulations.
You're in there.
ANTHONY: Man, what's
the matter with you?
You signed me up
for the Louisiana
Bayou to Bourbon
Street Food Expo?
And I entered you
in the final cook-off.
First place, 50 large.
Yeah? I got nowhere to stay.
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
I got us. You forget I got
family down in New Orleans.
That's my culture.
Culture? Yeah.
Who that said, "They're
going to beat them Saints?
You know, Mama gonna cook you
a big shrimp basket. Sorry.
You know what? Hey, remember this?
Mmm.
JULIAN: Mardi Gras, '99.
ANTHONY: Oh, shit.
JULIAN Remember I was
throwing all those beads
to eighth-grade honeys
with the flat chests?
ANTHONY: You remember that.
That was good.
You remember, uh,
Ms. Hogan's class?
JULIAN: Oh, epic breasts. Epic.
(SIGHS) You know, she
confiscated all my beads,
didn't show me as much as a.
Mmm' but that was a Fat Tuesday.
(CHUCKLES)
So what's it gonna be?
Look, my uncle can put us up
and give us a home
base for the expo.
All right. Fuck it, New Orleans.
Ah' one word.
N'awlins.
Say it with me...
BOTH: N'awlins.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Look at that
We in the Big Easy, baby.
(INAUDIBLE)
(ALL CHEERING)
They didn't have that
last time we were here.
(ALL CHEERING)
JULIAN: Oh, I'm ready. You ready?
(SIREN WAILING)
(INAUDIBLE)
Right? Nice.
JULIAN: Hey! Jackhole.
JULIAN: Big Ray.
What's up, man? Hey, baby.
Good to see you.
Looking good, brother.
Always. What'd you expect?
Man' the whip is nice.
RAY: Absolutely.
Let me get these
bags real quick.
DRIVER: Yeah, right here.
ANTHONY: Thanks, man,
I appreciate it.
This is, uh, my friend and
business partner, Anthony Hester.
How you doing, man'? Anthony.
Hey. Ray Boudreaux.
Welcome to the Big Easy.
Love it.
Ain't that big, ain't
always easy, but it's home.
Yeah. So, uh, what happened
to Jenkins' corner store?
He retired. But your little friend
Simone, she's staying in there.
Whoa. "Big Bone" Simone, huh?
Yeah, that big girl. What?
Okay, she used to eat all
the gumbo and everything.
Jambalaya. All the gumbo.
Everything,
The dirty rice. Ate it all up.
Went to the ass. To the hips?
Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah...
Well, yeah.
In fact, she said one of
you guys can stay with her
'cause I only got
one couch upstairs.
Okay, well, then, uh, look, I'm
gonna stay upstairs with Big Ray.
Yeah, that's all right.
And' uh, you know...
Go on and take
that for the team.
Stay with Simone. Okay.
But she's good. She's
big, but she's sweet.
You'll like her.
So that's not her?
(SCREAMING)
I missed you! Wow! Look at you!
You look great! Uh.
Look at... You got so big.
And you got so small.
But like a good small, though.
Yeah? You look so good.
Oh. Is this your friend?
Anthony, nice to meet you.
I think I'm staying with you.
Oh, I was just telling
Anthony (CLEARS THROAT)
that you're gonna be staying
with Big Ray upstairs.
Well, whatever you guys want'
JULIAN: I know what I want.
Want me to show you inside?
Cool, all right. I'M
go ahead and, uh...
See you at dinner' huh?
Yeah, take care. All right.
Uh, you know, Antoine,
guests in my house
don't have to cook.
Oh, it's Anthony, please.
It's my pleasure. I like
to earn my keep' you know?
You want to come over here
and taste this stuff?
Ah, no, no, no, no. (LAUGHING)
I'm looking forward.
MAN". Big Ray.
Um' listen, y'all
might want to bring
a little something
extra to eat tonight.
No, no. Just bring a
little somethin'- somethin'
RAY: All right. Come on m. Get
this food in here. Come on.
Angie?
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
Is any of this vegetarian?
RAY: All right, come on.
ANTHONY: All right,
who wants the good stuff?
Antoine, he made these ribs.
Okay? Come on. (ALL CHEERING)
MAN: Lord, we would
like to thank you for
bringing this strong
family together today.
And thank you for the bounty
that you have placed upon us.
In Jesus' name, amen.
(RAY SNORES)
JULIAN: And thanks
for bringing the beer.
So rude!
Who made all this?
(INAUDIBLE)
I miss food. Yeah.
ANTHONY: Hey, Big Ray, you tried
that sauce with the ribs?
Oh, yeah. The sauce
was wonderful.
ANTHONY: Right? Mmm-hmm.
Did you try that sauce?
Did y'all try
the barbecue sauce?
What are you doing with
yourself these days, Jackhole?
Jay, um, lives in New York.
I'm a private investigator.
A what? RAY: A private dick.
(ALL LAUGHING)
JULIAN: And, uh..
Private detective, or dick.
I'm a dick, okay?
I'm a dick. All right?
Bullshit. (ALL LAUGHING)
I don't know why
it's so funny. It's true.
We have an office space
we just leased out.
We solve cases.
Yes, we some oases.
We've gotten cases.
How many cases? A lot of cases.
Yeah, we... A lot of cases.
We had one big case
that put us on the map.
But then all of the rest of them
were like little branch cases.
Uh, cheating husbands, alimony
checks not being there.
Child support things, those cases.
We had a murder case.
RAY: So' you're in people's
drawers and pocketbooks?
Something like that. You know.
Hey, sex sells'
(ALL LAUGHING)
What's the name of
this crackerjack outfit?
It's called the Juan
Detective Agency.
You and who else?
You and who?
You and me.
That's okay, Jackhole,
y'all probably just
in it for the pussy.
But that's a good reason
to be in anything.
Ain't that right, baby'?
That's what I'm talking about.
(ALL LAUGHING)
RAY: Hey' Hey.
What's going on?
From the Halls of Montezuma.
Wilson.
Hey, hey.
JULIAN: What's up, man?
I was wondering when
you were showing up.
What's going on, man?
You all right, brother?
Hey, come and have a seat, man.
WILSON: Excuse me for being rude.
I'm sorry.
My military friend here, Nina.
ALL: Hi.
RAY: Pleased to meet you.
Welcome.
Come on in.
JULIAN: So you don't
remember anything?
It's just a blank.
(SIGHS)
Doctors say that it probably
won't ever come back.
But I saw the official story,
and it just doesn't
make any sense.
They said it was
a training exercise.
What kind of training exercise kills
the three highest-ranking officers,
his sergeant and a doggone.
Civilian.
RAY: Yeah, a civilian.
Civilian?
Stripper.
There's rumors going
around that she was...
You know me' Jay.
I love the ladies' but I
would never hurt nobody.
You know that
JULIAN: Now, they're saying it's
some kind of gang rape gone wrong.
Now, look, my cousin
may have blue balls
and absolutely zero game,
but he's no rapist.
So you want to clear his name?
Yeah, and it wouldn't
hurt to gain some points
with the southern relations.
Look, I know I got you into this
competition, and now I'm asking you to.
Nah, man, don't worry about that.
I'll drop out
No, I'm not saying that
I'm saying we do both.
I say we clear my cousin's
name and win the contest.
What do you think?
I say we got our next case.
My man.
Let's go inside, it's cold.
BOJAN: You have failed
in your mission'
The Wolf still needs the plans.
(TATIANA SPEAKING OTHER
LANGUAGE ON PHONE)
BOJAN: That is courteous,
but unnecessary.
Mina's body and personal effects
have been moved off base.
(TATIANA SPEAKING
OTHER LANGUAGE)
For the moment, I do not know.
But that will change.
Mina's body cannot be autopsied
or the nature of our gifts
will become known.
And this will bring
unwanted attention.
Is that clear? Mmm.
Expect my call.
Mina.
MINA: You need some positive
male attention for a change.
(INAUDIBLE)
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
Hi, welcome to
Uptown Speed Dating.
Hi-.
So, are you ready to mingle?
TATIANA: Um...
Yes. Okay, great. So
what's your name?
Um...
My name is Ludmila.
Hi, it's really nice to meet you.
I'm Andrew.
Nice to meet you, too.
How's it going? Jeff. Gabriel.
Bobby. Very nice to meet you.
How are you doing?
Where are you from?
I'm from Croatia.
Mmm, Russia.
I am from Czech Republic.
I like to play soccer.
You like soccer?
I love dancing.
And skiing.
And, uh...
Do you like Chekhov'?
Who's Chekhov?
Yes, the original series Chekov.
Not that douche from the J.J.
Abrams reboot.
My favorite of his would have
to be The Cherry Orchard.
(SNAPS FINGERS)
Up here. Yeah?
Yes.
Switch.
I am a professional gambler.
I'm an actor.
I am hoping to be m
real estate one day.
Do you like real estate?
Um, I'd like to have
a house on the beach.
You look like someone who would
do very well on a beach.
That was very awkward.
I shouldn't say it that way.
I'm just a fitness buff,
a gambling fiend.
Go out every night and
try to pick up women.
Uh, I'm a fashion designer.
A gym teacher.
I work with children,
sick children.
Switch.
I love your eyes and your teeth'
Your smile is very pretty.
Your chin is amazing. My chin?
It's a strong chin.
I don't like these girls
who have the chins,
they start over here
and go all the way down.
I like your eyes a lot.
My eyes or my ass?
You have the most amazing
eyes I've ever seen.
And I'm not a breast guy,
so I think we might work out.
Switch!
You don't have a nametag.
I'm Eric.
This is Cody and Dustin.
Always bring your buddies
with you on a date?
My cousins.
Family is very important to me.
I see.
What do you like to do, Eric'?
Wind-surfing, cooking classes,
watching movies in bed.
Killing people?
Depending on the threat
they pose to my employer.
Yes.
You have the blueprint
of the American exo-armor.
Give them to us,
and you won't have to die.
That's gentlemanly of you, Eric'
MODERATOR; Switch!
I do try.
MODERATOR: Sir, you need
to switch your table,
You only get five minutes.
I know she's pretty, but.
Speed dating, you
have to, like, move.
Come on, buddy, time's up'
I know she's really pretty.
Come on.
Bye.
STEVE: Can't seem to find
normal people at these things.
(CHUCKLES FORCEFULLY)
(CLEARS THROAT)
Okay, um, I'm Sieve.
I'm recently divorced.
(SIGHS)
Boy, you are beautiful.
I'm sorry.
I've been out of the game
for a while, I guess.
You know what,
I don't like this place.
Do you want to go
back to your place?
Whoa.
Uh, yeah.
What do you think? Nice.
Beautiful day
for a beautiful girl.
Why don't you have a seat, and
I'll go get some stuff for us.
Okay!
(GLASS CLATTERS)
(GRUNTING)
(GROANING)
Toad style. (GRUNTS)
(GRUNTING)
I see you know scorpion style.
(GRUNTING)
Seriously, you're
cramping my style.
(TATIANA GRUNTING)
(GROANING)
Here we go. Yoo-hoo!
Do you have a blanket?
It's a little chilly.
Yeah, of course.
(BLOWS KISS)
(GRUNTS)
She likes you, it's okay.
She likes you' really.
(GRUNTING)
(SNIFFING)
(GRUNTING)
Shh.
Is everything okay?
TATIANA Yeah, everything's fine!
(WHISPERING) Quiet!
I'm on a date, okay'?
A kiss of Tainted Love.
(SNIFFS)
(GRUNTING)
Your girlfriend is very lucky.
(GROANING)
All right. Red or white?
Um' whiskey.
Whiskey? Yeah. Yeah.
(CHUCKLING)
(GROANING)
(GRUNTING)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(GRUNTING)
TATIANA: Steve!
Could you change the music?
What would you like to hear?
TATIANA: Just play
something different
(GRUNTING)
(GROANING)
(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
Is that good?
I'm really not
into country music.
Do you have any classical?
I'll see what I can
find on the radio.
TATIANA: Thank you!
(STRAINING)
(GRUNTS)
We shall meet again.
Hi-.
You know, maybe we should have
drinks inside. It's a little cold.
(SIGHS)
Look, Ludmila. Yes?
You seem like
a really nice girl.
I mean, maybe
a little high-maintenance,
but I don't think
I'm ready for this.
Sorry.
Okay?-
JAMES; Pull!
So, Mr. LaMonde.
How's the richest
redneck I know?
Yeah. I know where that is.
Oh, yeah. What do
you know about it?
I didn't want any
forensics tampered with.
God bless the Corps,
but their brass
ain't above
covering their asses.
(sum COCKS)
Plus, we got
appropriations coming up'
Got to keep things clean.
Pull!
(sun COCKS) (LAUGHS)
Well, we'll have to
pick this up next time.
Who?
Coroner. Plaquemines Parish.
She'll be safe there.
Pull!
ANTHONY: Ongoing investigation.
(GRUNTS)
Dead end.
Ah, not necessarily.
I asked him where a guy could go
to pay for some tail around here.
She She's'? Strip club?
I think so.
Big booties? Big booties'
You got singles?
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
(SNIFFING)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hello.
Yeah, I see 'em.
Private eyes?
I'll be back in a sec.
Hey, okay, now.
Ooh. Don't throw it on me.
It's my birthday.
(SNIFFS)
JULIAN: (WHISPERING)
He's got a beard.
CORDRAY: What the fuck
do you want?
You run this spot?
It's my club. We don't
allow dicks back here.
Especially no private dicks.
What do you boys want?
We want to know
about that escort
that was killed at Fort Polk.
We got dancers here.
Artistes.
Girls want to push pussy on their
own time, that's their business.
Kindly go fuck yourselves.
You know anybody
that'd want to hurt her?
What did I say, motherfucker?
Let's get out of here.
No, no, no. Hold up.
One of the men that was wounded
that night was my cousin.
Now somebody gonna give
me some damn information.
I don't give a fuck if it
was your mama in drag.
MY mama?
(GRUNTING)
Um, right by the balls.
(CORDRAY GROANING)
(GRUNTING)
W Wm gun.
Get your ass on your knees.
Get on your knees.
Hey, big man! Put him down.
Get on your knees, too. Come
on, corn-fed. Hurry up.
Uh...
You can go on and go. It
might get a little bloody.
Get a little blood
on your two-piece.
I'm gonna send you a friend
request, though. Okay.
Here, go on and take the gun.
That don't smell right.
All right. I'm about to go
Helen Bingham on his ass.
All right. Talk. Mmm.
Talk. (GROANING)
It was two white girls. Russians,
come in from Galveston'
It wasn't supposed
to go down like that
ANTHONY: What else,
motherfucker?
I don't know shit
about the other girl.
The one that got killed. They
moved her to Plaquemines Parish.
Who told you that?
Ifs professional courtesy to.
JULIAN: Professional courtesy?
Fuck! It was Beau LaMonde.
He's got a gator farm up
in Lake Pontchartrain.
He loves to run his mouth when
his drawers getting worked on.
I swear that's all I got!
That's all you got? Huh?
Mmm? (GROANING)
Huh? CORDRAY: That's all I got.
You got a thong on, too.
Stay on your fucking knees.
JULIAN: Yeah.
Why you got a gold thong on?
CORDRAY: Fucking bastard.
ANTHONY: Let's go, man. Come on.
Let's get out of here.
(SIGHS)
We got to make a right or left?
You got a GPS, man?
(JULIAN WHISTLING)
(KEYPAD BEEPING)
(SWITCH CLICKS)
(JULIAN EXCLAIMS)
ANTHONY: "Mid 20s, excellent
physical condition.
"Signs of pre-mortem
intercourse.
"Contusions, head and neck.
"Multiple bullet wounds.
One fatal shot to the head."
What are you doing, man?
What? Looking for
identifying marks'
No tan lines, nice body.
Oh. Fully shaven. Brazilian.
Vag piercings.
Not a stripper.
Why do you say that?
Well, because there's
too much hardware
that gets tn the way
of the software.
The piercings get caught
in a guy's teeth,
sounds like a door knocker.
(CLICKING TONGUE)
He'd knock a nipple off.
Catastrophe, he can't
make it ram like that.
Pretty good hands, nice hands.
No nail polish.
Hmm.
This tattoo though.
I've seen it before.
ANTHONY: Where?
I don't remember. (WHIRRING)
Um...
(SHUSHING)
(WHISPERING) Hit the lights.
Hit the lights!
Uh...
Hey, man, let me m.
Come on, man!
There's no room, man.
Get the fuck out of here.
Come on, man!
JULIAN: Damn n.
Whoa...
Goodness! Oh, okay.
Okay?-
(GRUNTING)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
Oh, Lord.
(JULIAN GROANING)
Oh, man.
(INHALING)
(DOOR OPENING)
Hey, what you waiting for?
Those girls definitely weren't strippers.
Yeah. I told you.
I had to lay next to a dead guy.
He was musty.
Bucket list, man. (GRUNTS)
(GUNSHOT)
JULIAN: Shit! Get down!
ANTHONY: Watch it!
JULIAN: Hurry up!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(GUNSHOTS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Oh, I think I got hit.
(GROANS) Okay.
(WINCES)
Jay?
Oh! Hey!
What happened?
Uh, just a little
complication in the case.
Complication?
Yeah. It's all good.
Do you need some help with that?
Maybe. Okay, great.
Sit. Just sit down. Okay.
I'll be right back. Okay.
All right. (CHUCKLES)
(EXHALES)
(WHISPERING) Breathe, breathe.
What are you doing?
Take your pants off.
I've seen you with less
clothes on than that before.
All right. Uh, okay. Okay.
I remember when you used to give
me looks when we were kids.
(GROANS)
I guess I was a little chubby
chaser back then, right?
No, I mean, but
you've changed, girl!
Tattoos and everything. I can do tats.
That's what I do now.
Well, I admire a man
who will risk his life
to save his family.
What can I say? That's what I do.
I risk for the family.
You really grew up.
(INAUDIBLE)
ANTHONY: So, that's it. Julian's
cousin's completely innocent'
Mmm, I knew n.
But if you're just gonna
whack the top brass,
why go somewhere
where you're guaranteed
to get caught
and killed yourself?
I think they were at the
base for something else.
We just don't know what it is yet.
(LAUGHING)
My man.
So, what's the bad news?
What's the bad news?
RAY: You and Jackhole let some
motherfucker shoot up my goddamn car?
Oh, son of a bitch!
If it makes you feel any better,
Jules got a flesh wound.
Good, God damn it!
Where's your motherfucking
flesh wound?
If it wasn't the Chinese,
who were they?
I don't know.
But they obviously had
the same intel we did.
(BOJAN SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
Whoever" they were, you will
have to deal with them.
And your former
employer, Mr, Cordray.
I will inform the Wolf that
these plans are incomplete.
We will have to
find another way.
Boss. (TAPPING)
Boss, wake up. Boss.
What? Camera three.
CORDRAY: (SNIFFS)
Go check it out.
(SIGHS)
(GUNSHOT)
CORDRAY: Casey?
Casey?
(GROANING)
Oh, fuck!
Bitch!
Two men who came by,
who were they?
(sum-nus)
Who were they?
Couple pie-ass Pls
from New York.
I didn't tell them nothing.
I know what you told them.
You fucking shot me.
I have something for the pain.
(CORDRAY SNIFFLES)
This is how I'm going out?
Yes.
No bitches on my hp?
Is that better?
Actually, yeah.
I want you to know
it's nothing personal.
I don't give a...
(SCATTING)
(GUITAR STRUMMING)
(SCATTING CONTINUES)
Sounds good.
(CHUCKLING) Thank you, partner.
Hey, Big Ray,
let me ask you a question.
Hit me, Antoine.
Remember those, uh,
ribs that I made?
Yeah.
What was wrong with them?
Well, there was nothing
wrong with them exactly.
In fact, I don't think I've ever
had a rib sauce so precise.
What they lacked was
passion, spontaneity.
See, there's three things
in life you got to riff,
Cooking, playing jazz,
and fucking.
So, what do I do'?
Man, you know how
to fuck, don't you?
Good-looking white boy like
you must get plenty of tail.
See, you got to...
You got to give
yourself over to it.
Just riff' brother. Just riff.
I don't really do that
Yeah. Well, the levees
wasn't built in a day.
I can help you with
the cooking and the jazz,
but the fucking you got to
do on your own. (LAUGHING)
See, it's like this. It's about the...
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
About the... (HUMMING)
When you get the good
food, you say...
(STRUMS) Mmm.
Right? And when you get
the good jazz, you say...
Mmm! Mmm!
And, boy' you get
that good pussy,
it's sure gonna make you say.
Mmm! Mmm!
Let's go back to the...
(HUMMING)
Come on. (HUMMING)
That's what I'm talking about.
Then you got to say.
Mmm!
I feel dirty. I feel dirty now.
Grab your nuts. Grab your nuts.
Hold on to them nuts,
say... Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm! Mmm!
One more time, say...
Mmm!
(SINGING) Baby, you go!
that good pussy
Oh, yeah, that's what
I'm talking about
Spread them pretty legs And let
me sink between them, yeah
(LAUGHS)
Oh, baby!
Oh, baby!
I think I'm ready.
I think I'm ready.
Let me hear that fucking.
(GUITAR STRUMS) Mmm!
Ow! Ow!
And finally you say.
(BOTH HUMMING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
All right, all right.
You got it, baby. (LAUGHING)
Thank you. I appreciate it.
Let me make you some breakfast, yeah?
All right.
What do you want?
What do you want?
Some pussy. (CHUCKLES)
(BEEPING)
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
GUY: Welcome to
the Barataria Bayou Barn!
(APPLAUSE)
I'm Guy Mancini.
And this is Americana Chophouse!
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
Today on the Chophouse,
we are going to feed you
the filet mignon of the bayou.
The American alligator.
We are going to cue 'em
and stew 'em and feed
'em to you good folks.
And this particular gator that
we're going to enjoy today
came right out of
the bayous behind us.
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
(APPLAUSE)
Before we go any further though,
I would also like to say thanks
to the man who provided us with
the space and the game today,
Mr. Beau LaMonde. (APPLAUSE)
Looking very sharp back there.
(WHISPERING)Wail.
Isn't he the one.
Cordray mentioned. Probably
tipped off the assassins.
Go try and get close to him.
GUY: Well, first things first
Got to have a nice, sharp knife.
So, we're going to
start up here, high.
Can you hang on to it for me?
ANTHONY: Yeah.
Keep this thing from
spinning right here.
It's like that saying.
"Bravest man I ever saw, the
first to eat an oyster raw."
I'd like to see the first guy who
wrestled one of these things
and go, "I'm hungry."
(ALL LAUGHING)
You got to go on in there, you
got to go through the rib cage.
But you don't want to
bypass the stomach either.
'Cause we found a 12-pound
catfish in one of them one time.
We smoked it up with some pecan shells.
It was delicious.
Okay, here we go.
Feel around in the stomach right there.
You see it?
See the stomach right there?
Feel around, see if you can
find anything in there.
You feel anything?
I got something solid.
Well, it could be a turtle.
They eat those whole.
You can make a soup out of that
No, I don't think it's a turtle.
Let's see. Can you get it out?
It's not a turtle.
Hmm.
Oh-ho!
ANTHONY; Fuck.
GUY: Whoa, that's not a turtle.
Let's, uh, put that in a pan.
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
Never found one of those before.
That's... Getting a little
too curious about...
GUY: What is it?
Are you missing somebody?
MAN: Whoa, what's up,
Beau? What is that?
GUY: I'm cutting open a gator, I'm cooking
this food. What the hell is that?
ANTHONY: That was definitely that
girl from the morgue's hand.
She had the tattoo.
She also had these
weird metallic implants.
Wasn't on the coroner's report.
JULIAN: That ought to raise
a red flag at Homicide.
ANTHONY: Or not.
JULIAN; What was that?
That's Louisiana justice.
We got to get by that water, man
There's going to be more
evidence around there.
The water? Like, where
the gators are? Yeah.
And they're doing gator shit,
like devouring human parts?
You know what we gotta do over
there, right? We're gonna look.
No, you going
to look over there.
Hell' no, I'm not going there.
We're both going over.
Come on. Let's go. What?
Man' I hate gators.
SECURITY' Sir,
I can't understand you.
What?
Could you speak English please?
ANTHONY: They probably dumped
the body over by the bridge.
(JULIAN MURMURS)
ANTHONY: Just keep
your eyes open, all right?
JULIAN: I got 'em open.
I'm looking.
I don't like the look
of this water.
Shit, look. It's right there.
See?
JULIAN: See what?
You want me to what?
Like kill 'em?
You understand that?
I'm going to send
the other two dudes.
We got two creepers on the
northwest side of Upper Kenter.
Take 'em out.
Them two dudes.
Look at 'em.
Little mini steps.
Creeping-
I can't get wet.
I can't believe you're
making me do this, man.
I thought our friendship
meant more.
You know the largest gator ever
found was 1809, Louisiana.
JULIAN: Really? ANTHONY:
19 feet, 1,000 pounds.
Okay, that's not cool, man.
Wrong timing.
Give me your hand.
ANTHONY: Oh, fuck!
JULIAN: Reach.
ANTHONY: Pull, pull!
You need more than that. JULIAN:
It was your idea, you know.
ANTHONY: Dude, don't
let me fucking...
Grab it. I got it. Fuck.
Dude, this is the same one that
we found in that girl's hand.
Pull me out, man.
Hey, is that a gator?
(GRUNTING)
Pull me, man! Pull me!
(GRUNTING)
Oh, Shit! Shit! Pull!
Go, go, go, man! Come on!
JULIAN: Come on. Come on!
Come on, run!
Come on.
Come on.
You know how to drive one of these?
My cousin had one.
Come on, come on. Lay low!
Push, man, push! Come on!
(GUNSHOTS)
Where should we go? I don't know!
Just keep going!
Hey, skeletal augmentation
with titanium alloy.
These are not ordinary
assassins, man.
Who's that? Can you see?
Holy shit!
JULIAN: She's shooting.
Go this way! Go down that canal.
ANTHONY: Fuck, I don't Know
where this leads, man.
(TATIANA SPEAKING
OTHER LANGUAGE)
Push it faster!
Anthony' faster!
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
You missed us, bitch!
We're out of here!
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
ANTHONY: Wait a minute.
She's gaining on us.
She's got the scope. Come on!
You gotta go side to side. Side to side!
We gotta shake them!
JULIAN: We're not losing her!
I think there's something up here.
Make a left.
Hold on, man! Hold on!
(SCREECHES)
ANTHONY: Hold on! Hold on!
JULIAN: Can't this thing
go faster?
ANTHONY: Big bump! Hold on!
(GRUNTS)
Motherfucker! Yeah! Whoo!
Fuck!
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
ANTHONY: Bio-enhanced assassins.
That's some real black ops shit.
Who are they? What did
they want at Fort Polk?
I've been thinking,
maybe it's some kind of
ultra high-tech weapons system.
JULIAN: And I've been
thinking about that tattoo.
I know I've seen it
somewhere, like, on a woman.
I'm gonna need your
help remembering that.
Yeah.
Last year, my physics
adviser had a meeting
with some researchers
at Fort Pork'
and he came back and he...
JULIAN: Simone.
You mind if we talk
about this later?
Okay, sure.
I'm gonna be in my room.
All right. You ready
to get to work?
Yeah. Cue the music,
let's do it.
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
(JULIAN MOANING)
Baby, get it right there.
Oh.
Hey.
What is going on here?
Ah, how do I say this?
Julian's got what he calls
a pornographic memory.
You mean photographic memory?
ANTHONY; No.
Total sexual recall. He says he can
literally never forget a fuck.
I need quiet.
ANTHONY: Right now he's going
through his memory banks.
For fun?
For the job. (SCOFFS)
Okay, okay.
You're saying he's going
into this memory of his
and recalling all the girls
he's ever slept with?
How long could
that possibly take?
Oh. Ooh.
(PANTING)
You got 15 minutes.
(JULIAN MOANING)
Oh, do that right there.
Ooh, girl!
Oh, yeah, I remember that night.
She had so many tattoos.
She had, like,
Egyptian hieroglyphics.
"Savage North or "South,"
or something like that.
No. That's not it.
Jessica, I remember her.
Yeah. She kind of had
a little mustache, but...
No, that wasn't a tattoo.
Ah, twerking Tina. TINA: Yeah.
JULIAN: Yes. Twerking Tina.
Where's that tattoo?
No, she had a buttery. Oh!
My Asian persuasion.
The tramp stamp.
And the sleeve.
Oh, but she would slap so hard.
No, damn it!
Ooh.
Flapjacks. Yes, I know
she had a tattoo.
Oh, it was a rose.
I'm looking for
that damn scorpion.
Oh, yes!
The two wild shippers.
They had a lot of tattoos.
What were their tattoos'?
Oh, that's right.
What did she have, like a
magic dragon or something?
No, it wasn't a scorpion.
Oh, but she was
working her body.
Then we went to Pinkberry
after that.
Ooh, Simone. (MOANS)
JULIAN' Girl, you slimmed up.
What was you doing, Herbalife?
Oh, yeah. She had a fire dragon.
It was like a phoenix.
(GASPS) No!
You are so bad.
JULIAN: She didn't have a tattoo,
why is she in this sequence?
Get me out of here! (GASPS)
Oh!
How long was I under?
ANTHONY: Three hours. Any luck?
No, wrong context
Simone, you said you,
uh, know a professor
who did some work at Fort Polk?
Oh, yeah. My physics advisor.
He wanted to get physical.
I didn't do it.
I could've got an A.
They offered me a lot of money for a
few equations, and I turned them down.
So, uh, what they were making
was pretty expensive, huh?
It was revolutionary. (CHUCKLES)
But by now I'm sure
it's being developed
by every industrialized country
and every big corporation
with a robotics division.
I heard the Chinese
are particularly interested.
Enough to hire assassins
to infiltrate a US base?
That's about as much as
I'm comfortable saying.
Anyway, remind Simone she
owes me, uh, extra credit.
Okay. Thanks for your time.
Appreciate n. Mmm-hmm.
All right. Get that
extra credit, huh?
(HANNAH PLAYING PIANO)
(LAPTOP BEEPING)
Ms. Wollcrofl.
Professor Gussain.
How can I help you?
Thefts of ballistic software
in Mumbai seven months ago,
Stockholm two months ago, now a
failed attempt at Fort Polk'
HANNAH: Is there
a question here?
I want to know what
you people are up to.
Ask yourself if that's something
you'd really like to Know.
Because I can oblige you.
Others are beginning
10 find out.
Do yourself a favor, Professor,
leave others to
the professionals.
Good day.
BOJAN: It is gone.
Worried about your safety?
That is good. You should be.
The Wolf needs you.
To do what?
Extrapolate from
incomplete blueprints.
Fill in what we are missing.
As of this morning, Fort
Polk will no longer house
the military's exo-project.
Security there is about as
tight as my wife's rear end.
I had a feeling
you'd ask me that
Turns out that girl's body
up and walked off after all.
Right after I told you
where she was.
Now you, son,
are not your daddy.
Frankly, I don't know
what you are.
I do Know your
ambitions go beyond his,
and it's got you mixed up with
folks he wouldn't approve of.
(CHUCKLES)
As chair of the Senate committee
on national security,
I know a hell of a lot.
Take my advice,
don't leave the country.
Wouldn't want to have
to serve an indictment
to some spider hole somewhere.
Go on, we're done here.
Go on with you now. Go on.
(ENGINE STARTS)
Motherfucker.
(DOOR CLOSES)
(DOG BARKING)
(ON PHONE)
Yes, this is Dragovic.
Keep working.
BOJAN: What did you say?
What did you say'!?
What did you say'!?
(BARKING)
(GROWLING)
(GRUNTING)
(CELL PHONE CHIMING)
(EXHALES)
Yeah.
BOJAN: New orders from the Wolf.
You are going to pay a
visit to Senator Barnes.
And thus time, Tatiana,
do not fuck it up.
ANTHONY: Who has jurisdiction over
Fort Polk? Non-military, I mean.
Senator James Barnes.
ANTHONY: All right, we're
gonna hit Barnes' office
in Baton Rouge in the morning'
Wait, Barnes is in
town this weekend.
Today's the annual
gala for Tulane alumni.
Gussain is supposed to go.
Hmm.
JULIAN: Whoa! She got
those Helen Binghams.
Wow. You really
don't stop, do you?
What? Hang on, no. I know
where I saw that tattoo.
Oh, shit. Bingham.
Pay attention. I have a
little business to attend to.
Catalina, take this.
Look after Mummy, will you?
ANTHONY: Of course. The Order
of the Ghost Scorpion.
Order of the what now?
It was this
post-Cold War experiment,
an attempt to fill the power
vacuum after the Wall came down'
An international consortium
of assassins. (G ROANS)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Here.
HELEN: Do you need a moment?
(GUNSHOT)
BOJAN: What did you
say your name was?
Bingham. Helen Bingham.
ANTHONY'. Bojan Dragovic
was a godfather and guru.
An expert in irregular warfare
and bio-enhancement
technologies.
The titanium bones.
That's right.
He created a cadre
of super-assassins.
After the oligarchs bought
out Russian intelligence,
Dragovic brought the organization
into the private sector,
working with whoever
was willing to pay.
Most recently, a financier
known as the Wolf.
How do you know all this?
I just know where to look,
Tor, Deep Web' Wikipedia.
(TYPING)
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
What? What is it?
Uh, it's Professor Gussain.
Mmm. It's for you.
The Wolf plans to
kill Barnes today.
I got to get this number to Barnes'
security, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Gussain contacted us.
So what?
That means he's too scared
to contact anyone else.
Even the Senator's security.
The Wolf's got
people everywhere.
If we're going to do something,
we've got to do it on our own.
Where's this gala at?
Still so much like the intern
I took on 20 years ago.
You couldn't take no for
an answer then either.
I suppose that's part of your
appeal to your investors.
I'm glad you made
it tonight' James.
After our last meeting.
Oh, oh, oh.
Even old friends don't
always see eye-to-eye.
I hope you don't need my
affirmation anymore, Hannah.
No' but I'll always
need your vote, Senator.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
Ah.
If you'll excuse me. Of course.
This is Hannah Wollcrcft.
Yes, I'll take the call.
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
Hey, what time
are we starting at?
Already started, man.
Oh, shit.
Play it cool. Play it cool.
Play it cool.
I need to see some IDs.
(CLEARS THROAT) You
know, she got my ID.
Oh! You got the.
I keep 'em in here.
(CHUCKLES) Mmm-hmm.
Yeah, I left them at home. What?
Girl, check the left titty.
Check the left titty.
You need ID just to get
into a wedding reception?
Oh, no, wedding reception
is right around this corner.
First floor, the Bayou Room.
ANTHONY: Great, thank you.
Take care, guys. Let
me see your ID, man.
You really work here?
SIMONE: Bye!
JULIAN: And these spots normally
have rooms we can cut through, so...
ANTHONY: Yeah, we'll go. We'll
find another way through.
JULIAN; All right.
BEST MAN: Whoever would've guessed me
tossing Terrible Timmy out of the ring
would literally land
him in the lap of love?
(APPLAUSE)
Look at this couple,
aren't they great?
Hey, man, high five.
Look at this hot couple.
I mean, come on. (APPLAUSE)
Enough of me and the word games.
Let's hear some of
Tina and Tim's friends'
words of encouragement and love.
You, sir, you. Red tie,
come here for a second.
Me? BEST MAN: You. Come here.
You sure you want me?
BEST MAN: Just say something
about this great couple.
No, you. (CHUCKLES)
(ALL CHEERING)
Well, uh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
What can I say about the
bride and groom, right,
that hasn't already
been said, huh?
Well, I met...
Tim. Tim?
Met Tim in a, uh..
A mini-bar in Little Tokyo,
and we got into some small
talk' had some short ribs.
And what can I say
about the bride, right?
She's so effervescent.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Tina? (MOANING)
Tina? Yeah.
Twerking Tina?
It is a small world.
(STUTTERING)
You know what I mean.
(CHUCKLES)
Tina and I, uh,
met at a strip club...
Mall. Strip mall,
met at a strip mall.
And, um...
I always said,
with that kind of ass.
Assets. She has many assets
that work in her favor.
And I always thought that she
was destined for big things.
Obviously, we all know that big
things come in small packages.
Or smaller packages, right?
Anyways, do you
still have that tattoo?
She has a great
tattoo of a cowgirl
holding a lasso.
So every time she'd twerk,
the lasso would just.
It would whip like that.
It would just do
a little whip like that
It was a pelvic thrust
that she would do.
Anyways, we all have a style.
I have a style.
You all have a style.
Breaking Bad, you have a style.
And if tiny Tim can handle that,
then more power to you,
and if he can't...
Then, girl' you need to call me.
All right, okay.
(MIC FEEDBACK)
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
(GRUNTING)
JULIAN: Ah!
This isn't a fair fight!
How many of y'all want some?
ANTHONY: Come on. Dump this shit.
MAN: Switch!
(SCREAMING)
JULIAN: Okay, okay!
Hold up! He got my ribs!
My balls.
Get off of him now!
(SCREAMING)
TINA; Put him down!
JULIAN: Oh, you...
JULIAN: Let me get mine! Let
me get on my feet. (GRUNTS)
Y'all lucky I don't
call my cousins!
You know you're
the only one I love.
All right, come on.
SIMONE: What was that?
What? I got caught in
my pornographic memory mode.
Worlds collide, okay?
Hey' will you guys knock it off?
We got a life to save.
We gotta find the Senator.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
HANNAH: All assets are in place.
You are weapons free.
(WHISTLING) TATIANA: Excuse me.
Remember me?
Mmm'?
Oh, shit.
TATIANA: Relax. (JULIAN GROANS)
TATIANA: Everything's
going to be fine.
(JULIAN'S HEART THUMPING)
Close your eyes.
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
Almost there.
TATIANA: I have eyes on him.
The Order has lowered
its standards, huh?
No more world
powers for clients.
No more finger on
the pulse of history.
Now you're just
another corporate tool.
A cog in the wheel.
Shut up, Mr Hester.
Whoa.
SIMONE: Jay?
Jay?
Hello'? Jay? Wake up, baby.
Come on.
Wake up!
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
Do you like Chekhov'?
You don't mean chief navigator
of the Enterprise,
so Cherry Orchard,
Uncle Vanya, Three Sisters...
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
A little college Russian.
Tatiana, kill him.
I want you to know
it's nothing personal.
I think it is.
Ah, for fuck's sake, Tatiana.
(HANNAH SPEAKING MANDARIN)
Stand down,
I repeat, stand down.
Report back for instructions.
BOJAN: How dare you
interrupt our work!
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
Is our deal off?
No. Our deal is no
longer necessary.
(GUNSHOT)
The Olsen twins
are waiting for you.
(MUTTERING) Right? Right?
Sh.
Listen, I'm going to
try to go get some help,
'cause he needs to
go to the hospital.
Keep that head up.
Hey, hey' hey!
Mmm.
Come here. Come here.
The Wolf wants
to see both of you.
Now.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Dragno?
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
(SCOFFS)
And here I thought all this
daddy-issue, killer-cow
bullshit was just a sales ploy.
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
Only because I can
see you're hurting.
Tonight, our chief
Chinese competitor,
having developed
their own exo-project
in parallel with
the US military,
agreed to a merger.
We no longer need the US
government or their exo-armor.
We have our own.
It's so much more civilized
that way, don't you think?
Our Chinese counterpart made the
merger conditional in dissolving
all of our previous
entanglements.
Which unfortunately
means all of you.
Dispose of them.
ANTHONY: If a black
market weapons dealer
fucked the madam of a
cripples-only orphanage
while Gordon Gekko
came on their faces,
the thing they'd make
would be you'
The Wolf.
You flatter me.
This time make sure the
bodies are never found.
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
Your handler got
what he deserves.
So will you.
My handler?
He was the only father
I've ever known.
I lost my family.
No one fucking cares.
And no more talking. We're
almost to the drop zone.
There's no reason to go on.
Yeah?
There's always stripping, if
you need a reason to live.
Jules' you okay, man? Yeah.
Non-lethal dose of Propofol.
But he's going to wish
he didn't wake up.
You need a reason to go
on, now about vengeance?
We'll help you.
Hey, man.
So the bodies don't float.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
PILOT: Hey, what's going
on back there' guys?
Hey, man, I don't
approve of all of that.
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
What was it, the stripping
or the vengeance?
All right, I need a little help.
Need a little help, guys!
Tony, get him out!
You know what you're doing?
TATIANA: I learned in the army.
Tank's been shot.
We're losing fuel fast.
We'll have just enough
to reach our destination.
What's that?
Vengeance.
We're going to the Wolf's den.
JULIAN: The Wolf's Den?
Is that a strip club?
(EXHALES)
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
We have severed all ties.
So it's a dean start.
(MR. LIAO SPEAKING MANDARIN)
We're very happy
And now, Ms. Wollcroft,
3 present to you,
proof of concept and a
token of our friendship.
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
(LAPTOP BEEPS)
(WHIRRING CONTINUES)
HANNAH: They're not
slowing down.
(SIGHS) Take care of it.
GUARD: Yes, ma'am.
(GUNSHOTS)
JULIAN: All right, what's the plan?
What's the plan?
You jump. I'll crash land.
Crash? You ain't got
a better plan than that?
There's got to be a better plan.
If things had been different.
I know, it would've been great.
(GUNSHOTS)
JULIAN: Come on, man,
we got to go.
We're jumping, man.
Go, go. Jump.
I'm scared of heights.
(SCREAMING)
O-M-G!
(SPUTTERING)
(JULIAN EXCLAIMS)
JULIAN: Whoo! Whoo!
Come on, man. Go, go!
Go! Move! Move! Go!
I don't wanna die!
Go! Go! Go! Go!
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on! Come on, man!
JULIAN: Oh, God!
Fuck!
Get down, man! Get down!
We got to move. (GRUNTING)
Stay down! Stay the fuck down!
JULIAN: Oh, my God!
(GUNSHOTS)
(GUN CLICKING)
(PANTING)
What happened?
What happened?
You see something?
ANTHONY; Shit.
(GASPS) They're dead.
MAN: Stop right there!
(GROANING)
(ARMOR WHIRRING)
You're enhanced, I'm enhanced.
So why don't we just fight this
out like civilized people?
(GRUNTS)
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
You have a lifetime of training
on me, I'll give you that.
But I have the best combat
software money can buy.
(GRUNTS)
(BONES CRACKING) (GROANING)
What is it you always say?
It's nothing personal.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(BEEPING)
This time it is, bitch.
(BEEPING)
(GRUNTS)
(BEEPING) (GASPS)
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
Hey!
POLICE: Drop your weapons!
ANTHONY: We're
private detectives!
Hands where we can see 'em!
JULIAN: We're on the same team!
Wait! Stop! They're the good guys.
They're with me.
Hey! Oh, my God!
POLICE: Come on, guys, sweep the house.
Come on in.
Are you okay? POLICE:
Sweep the house.
Go on and sweep the house, bro.
There's some bad guys in there.
It was crazy. I had to slide.
I picked up a gun.
I started shooting back.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Thank you. SIMONE: Are you okay?
New W!'
Just want you to know,
I blamed it all on you.
Good, 'cause
I blamed it on you' too.
Dam!
SIMONE: They found
Dr. Gussain this morning.
ANTHONY: Yeah? SIMON E; Alive.
Mmm.
Get him down! Get him down!
Watch it!
Let's get him out of here.
Oh, and they arrested
Beau LaMonde.
Oh, see? It's good.
POLICE: Show me your hands, now!
(CHUCKLING) Guess there's
nothing left to do but
go get on a plane
back to New York, huh'?
No, we're not going nowhere, you still
got a competition to win. Let's go.
All right, Anthony. (LAUGHING)
Take care of yourself. You, too.
Take care. Hey.
You cleared Wilson's name and you
caught some really bad folks.
You done us proud.
Thanks, Big Ray.
Maybe I can visit more often.
Oh, hell no.
But listen, you are gonna kick out
for the bodywork on that Caddy,
Mr. Big Fancy Pl.
And you tell Antoine I
said, "Riff that shit up."
Big Ray, man.
It's you, man. You the man.
Take care. SIMONE: Nice sweater.
You know what, fuck you.
GUY: And the action
is fast and furious here
as our chefs are preparing
their catfish courtbouillon.
It's gonna be some
seriously good food here.
It's already smelling wonderful,
and we haven't even
lit the fire yet.
We'll be back here on
Bayou to Bourbon Street
right after this.
(BELL RINGING)
GUY: Can we get some
stage hands up here
and push this table
out of the way?
JULIAN: Sorry, coming through.
Excuse us.
MAN: Anthony, where you been?
You're a little late.
GUY: Is this our chef?
Hey, how y'all doing?
Hi, Anthony Hester.
Sorry about that.
Hi, Chef Tardy, how are you'?
Who's this? Are Batman
and Robin gonna cook?
No, I'm just his manager.
Manager?
You could've managed to get
him here quicker, you think?
I love this guy, right?
JULIAN: You got this.
ANTHONY: Shit, man, I
haven't had any prep time.
What? What are you
talking about?
Remember what Big Ray said, "Let
it flow, just let it flow."
(BELL RINGS)
MAN: Back in five, people.
All right, let it flow.
Flow on out of here.
Four, three, two.
Off the stage.
Calm down, Chef Boyardee.
And we're back here on
Bayou 10 Bourbon Street,
and the action is
fast and furious.
I'm Guy Mancini, and you can
see our chefs are really
flying into ii.
Yeah, and what do
we see over here?
Jamie is Knocking out. It looks
like Jamie is making a mirepoix.
Yeah, all of our chefs are really...
Jay, what's he doing?
GUY: ...really getting involved.
Oh, he's focusing his energy.
He'll be all right.
Tearing it up over here as they
prepare their catfish courtbouillon.
He looks paralyzed.
No, no, no. He knows
what he's doing.
RAY". You got to give
yourself over to it.
Just riff, brother. Just riff.
JULIAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do that.
GUY: We've got a lot
of action going on.
Let's see what he
does with his fish,
'cause everybody else
is so far ahead of him.
JULIAN: Come on, Anthony.
SIMONE: Looking good, Anthony.
GUY: I know
you can't really rush art,
but we are gonna rush our catfish
courtbouillons over here.
JULIAN: Oh, there it is.
Looking at him.
GUY: Scoring his fish.
(JULIAN WHOOPING)
Oh, Jesus, it's a fire!
Anybody ever seen anything like
this before? (CROWD CHEERING)
Ladies and gentlemen,
you're looking at a winner.
GUY: Wow, it's smelling
really good, too.
JULIAN: You're the best!
Around.
GUY: And next up is Chef
Anthony Hester's new creation
of, uh, catfish amandine.
We'll start with you, Carol.
I see some...
This dish is superb.
...real soul in here.
I can taste the
passion in this dish.
This dish is very complex,
to the point of being dangerous.
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GUY: And our judges
have conferred.
And after tasting all
of our entries today,
they have come to a conclusion.
JUDGE: And the winner of today's
Bayou to Bourbon Street Festival
is none other than.
Alligator cheesecake? Mmm-hmm.
We can do that.
Okay?-
Yeah, and if you see Big
Ray, tell him I said hi.
Okay, I love you.
SIMONE: I love you.
How's Simone? Hey. She's good.
I told her maybe I'll fly
down for Mardi Gras. Ah!
Anthony Hester. (APPLAUSE)
(JULIAN WHOOPING)
I understand that you have
a restaurant up in New York.
Yes. What's the name of it?
Give it a plug.
Uh... Uh...
GUY". Name. Name
of the restaurant.
ANTHONY: It's... Hey,
man, I like the new name.
ANTHONY: I'm kind of in between names.
Thanks, Jules.
Okay, here we go right here.
Your marinated kale.
And that is your fresh salad.
All right, it's good. Come, come.
Go, go, go, Table 3.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(WHIRRING)
Mr. Hester.
I have no weapons.
Your whole body is a weapon.
What other parts
of you are enhanced?
Want me to show you?