Charley's Aunt (1941) Movie Script
GOOD AFTERNOON,
MR. REDCLIFFE.
OH, GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. REDCLIFFE.
JUST IN TIME FOR TEA, SIR.
WE HAVE A SERVING AS SOON
AS THE BELL STRIKES 4:00.
SPLENDID, BRASSETT.
I SAY, WHAT'S THE SCORE?
WE'VE GOT 12
TO THEIR 88, SIR.
OH. NIP AND TUCK, EH?
OH, YES, SIR. VERY CLOSE.
GOOD,
HARD-FOUGHT BATTLE.
OUR INNINGS, EH? WHO'S
BATTING? LORD FANCOURT BABBERLY.
YOU'RE RATHER FUNNY
THIS AFTERNOON.
NOW, DON'T GET ANGRY,
MOTHER.
DON'T "MOTHER" ME. I'M SORRY.
I WAS ONLY REHEARSING MY LINES.
AFTER ALL, YOU ARE MY MOTHER
IN THE VARSITY PLAY, AREN'T YOU?
AND THAT'S WHERE
IT ENDS, SIR.
ALL RIGHT,
IF YOU'RE GOING TO QUIBBLE.
IT SEEMS TO BE
COMING THIS WAY.
SOMEBODY GET SOME WATER.
LET ME HELP.
OH, I'M FRIGHTFULLY SORRY,
MR. REDCLIFFE. ARE YOU HURT?
THAT IS ONE OF THE SILLIEST QUESTIONS
I'VE EVER HEARD FROM A STUDENT.
YOU HIT ME ON THE HEAD
WITH A HARD CRICKET BALL,
CREATING A CONDITION OF
TORTICOLLIS- A STIFF NECK, TO YOU-
THEN YOU ASK ME
WHETHER I'M HURT.
WELL, I ASSURE YOU, I WAS ENTIRELY ACCIDENTAL.
JUST A LUCKY HIT.
THAT'S ALL. I MEAN A-
BABBS, I THINK YOU'D
BETTER GO BACK TO THE GAME.
YES, BEFORE
YOU SAY ANYTHING MORE.
AM I HURT.
DO YOU REALIZE, BRASSETT, SOMEDAY THA YOUNG IDIOT WILL SIT IN THE HOUSE OF LORDS?
YES, SIR.
GOD SAVE THE QUEEN.
DON'T LET I UNNERVE YOU, OLD MAN.
COME ON, BABBS. HIT UP
SOME SIXES. YOU CAN DO IT.
VERY WELL.
LOOK. THERE ARE
THE GIRLS.
YES, BUT OLD SPETTIGUE
IS WITH THEM.
WHAT'S THE SCORE NOW?
THAT GIVES US 60
TO THEIR 88.
JOVE. THAT MAKES IT CLOSE,
DOESN'T IT? IT DOES, RATHER, YES.
TEA!
GOOD OLD TEA.
GOOD ON YOU, BABBS.
GREAT HITTING. WELL PLAYED,
BABBS. WELL PLAYED, BABBS.
SUGAR, OLD MAN?
WHERE'S OLD REDCLIFFE?
MAYBE IF I BROUGHT HIM SOME TEA, HE'D
CALM DOWN A BIT. HE'S OVER THERE, BABBS.
OH, YES.
THANK YOU-
I'M EXCEEDINGLY SORRY, SIR.
ANOTHER LUCKY HIT, EH?
YES, SIR.
I MEAN, NO, SIR.
I RATHER LIKE FIRES, DON'T YOU? RATHER.
NOTHING LIKE A JOLLY
OLD FIRE, I ALWAYS SAY.
OH, THAT'S INTERESTING.
I'VE ALWAYS HAD A BIT OF A
PASSION FOR THEM MYSELF. REALLY?
WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE
HAVE ANOTHER SPOT OF TEA...
AND SEE WHAT'S BURNING?
OH, PERFECT.
LORD BABBERLY.
LORD BABBERLY!
HUH?
WHAT HAPPENED?
THAT IS WHAT I INTEND
TO FIND OUT IN MY STUDY...
AT HALF-PAST 10:00
IN THE MORNING.
DISGRACEFUL CONDUCT.
WORST STUDENT AT OXFORD.
DARLING KITTY-
MY DEAR KITTY.
DARLING KITTY.
KITTY, MY DARLING, I-
WANT SOMETHING, BABBS?
NO, NO. I JUST CAME
TO BORROW MY WHITE TIE...
YOU BORROWED FROM ME
LAST NOVEMBER.
DO YOU MIND?
I SHAN'T KEEP IT LONG.
NO, NOT AT ALL, MAN.
GO RIGHT AHEAD.
IT'S THE ONE
WITH THE CHERRY STAIN ON IT.
KITTY, MY DARLING.
I SAY, JACK, WHERE
DO YOU KEEP MY TIES?
PLEASE, BABBS.
I'M THINKING.
I'M TRYING TO PU A SPEECH TOGETHER.
AND I'M TRYING TO PUT MYSELF
TOGETHER. WHERE'S MY TIE?
KITTY, MY DARLING.
IN ALL THIS WORLD, THERE
IS NO ONE QUITE LIKE YOU.
FLATTERY WON'T HELP YOU ANY.
I WANT MY TIE.
OH, I WASN'T SPEAKING TO
YOU. I'M REHEARSING A SPEECH.
KITTY'S COMING TO LUNCH, AND I'VE
GOT TO PROPOSE TO HER DIRECTLY AFTER.
THAT'S ALL VERY INTERESTING,
BUT I WANT MY TIE.
I'VE GOT TO WORK FAST.
OLD SPETTIGUE'S TAKING KITTY
AND AMY OFF TO SCOTLAND TONIGHT.
HE WANTS TO GET THEM
AWAY FROM CHARLEY AND ME.
WHAT'S THE MATTER? AFRAID YOU WON' MARRY THEM? NO, HE'S AFRAID THAT WE WILL.
YOU SEE, HE'S THEIR GUARDIAN.
GETS A SALARY FOR IT.
AS SOON AS THEY MARRY,
HIS INCOME STOPS.
AND THERE'S MY BAG.
I KNEW I DIDN'T PAWN IT.
IF YOU DON'T MIND, OLD MAN, I
THINK I'LL KEEP IT A LITTLE LONGER.
I'M GOING AWAY NEXT WEEKEND. SO AM I.
OH, NOW, DON'T BE A BOUNDER,
BABBS. WE'LL TOSS A COIN FOR IT.
HELLO.
OH, HELLO, CHARLEY.
HAVE YOU MET YOUR AUN ALREADY? NO, I'M ON MY WAY NOW.
I DREAD IT. IT'S BAD ENOUGH
MEETING AN AUNT YOU KNOW,
BUT TO MEET ONE YOU DON'T KNOW-
HER NAME'S ENOUGH TO SCARE ME-
- DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ.
- THAT'S NOT AN AUNT. THAT'S A CIGAR.
IMAGINE. HE DOESN'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE.
IT'S NOT MY FAULT. SHE WEN TO BRAZIL BEFORE I WAS BORN.
BE PREPARED, CHARLEY.
SHE'S PROBABLY A HIDEOUS OLD
LADY WITH SUFFRAGETTE TENDENCIES.
I WOULDN'T EVEN BOTHER
MEETING HER.
WELL, HIDEOUS OR NOT,
SHE DID ALL RIGHT DOWN THERE.
MARRIED SOME BRAZILIAN
ON HIS DEATHBED...
AND CAME AWAY WITH MILLIONS.
MILLIONS?
WHY, CHARLEY, WHAT ARE YOU
STANDING HERE FOR?
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE I IF YOU WERE A LITTLE OLD LADY...
AND HAD TO WAI AT THE STATION ALL ALONE?
GO AND FETCH HER, CHARLEY.
THERE'S PLENTY OF TIME.
OH, IS THERE? NOW, MIND
YOU, DON'T MISS HER.
YOU KNOW HOW STRIC KITTY AND AMY ARE.
IF YOUR AUNT ISN'T THERE TO
CHAPERONE THEM, NO LUNCHEON.
DON'T WORRY. I WON' MISS HER. OH, I SAY, JACK.
DO YOU MIND IF I BORROW
A FEW OF THESE?
I'M EXPECTING SOME FRIENDS IN THIS
AFTERNOON. OH, I'M SORRY, BABBS,
BUT WE'LL NEED EVERY
DROP FOR LUNCHEON.
OH, THAT REMINDS ME.
I'VE GOT TO BE CHANGING.
WELL, THAT'S GRATITUDE-
BORROWS MY TIES AND MY SWEATERS.
THE MOMENT I ASK FOR A FEW
BOTTLES OF CHAMPAGNE-
YES, BRASSETT? I JUST RAN
INTO MR. WIGGINS, MILORD.
HE'D LIKE YOU TO STOP BY HIS SHOP
AND TRY ON YOUR VARSITY SHOW COSTUME.
OH, I HAVEN'T TIME FOR THA NOW. I TELL YOU WHAT YOU DO.
YOU GO FETCH THE COSTUME, BRING I TO MY ROOMS, AND I'LL TRY IT ON LATER.
IT'S A BIT OF A DISTANCE,
MILORD, WITH A BUNDLE.
I'M AFRAID I'LL HAVE
TO TAKE A CAB.
OH, A CAB. OF COURSE.
A CAB. UH, JUST A MOMENT. I'LL GET IT.
OH, I SAY, CHARLEY. COULD YOU
LEND ME A HALF CROWN, PLEASE?
SORRY, BABBS. I'M FLAT.
I'LL GET IT FOR YOU THOUGH.
JACK?
HMM?
HAVE YOU, UH,
HALF A CROWN?
NOT A HA'PENNY.
JUST A MOMENT.
LEND ME HALF A CROWN, WILL
YOU, BRASSETT? CERTAINLY, SIR.
THANK YOU.
HERE YOU ARE, CHARLEY.
OH, THANKS, OLD MAN.
HERE WE ARE. THANK YOU,
CHARLEY. AWFULLY DECENT OF YOU.
THE CAB WILL BE TWO SHILLINGS.
KEEP THE CHANGE, BRASSETT.
OH, THANK YOU, MILORD.
THANK YOU.
THERE YOU ARE.
OH, BUT THAT'S
SUCH A BOTHER, SIR.
NO BOTHER AT ALL.
"ENTERED ST. OLDE'S COLLEGE,
MICHAELMAS TERM, 1880."
SO FAR YOUR RECORD IS MOS ADMIRABLE. THANK YOU, SIR.
LET'S SEE NOW.
MY WORD.
YOU'VE BEEN HERE
A LONG TIME.
HOPE YOU REALIZE THERE'S
A REGULATION...
WHICH SAYS A STUDEN MAY COMPLETE THE COURSE...
IN NOT LESS THAN THREE YEARS
AND NOT MORE THAN 15.
BUT I'M ONLY IN
MY TENTH YEAR, SIR.
WHAT IS THIS?
OH, I DIDN'T KNOW
SHE WAS MARRIED, SIR.
WHEN I SAID YOU WERE TO
BE RUSTICATED, I WAS WRONG.
THANK YOU, SIR. YOU, SIR, ARE NO
LONGER A MEMBER OF THIS UNIVERSITY.
YOU'RE EXPELLED!
EXPELLED?
OH, BUT PLEASE, SIR.
I MUST GET MY DEGREE.
YOU SEE, I'M DUE TO JOIN
MY UNCLE'S FIRM IN THE FALL-
HOGARTH, HAWKS AND BABBERLY-
THE FAMOUS LONDON SOLICITORS.
THEY'VE HANDLED SEVERAL
SENSATIONAL MURDER TRIALS,
AND I'M SURE, MR. REDCLIFFE, IF YOU
EVER HAVE OCCASION TO COMMIT MURDER,
I CAN GET THEM
TO HANDLE YOUR CASE.
YOU CANNOT BRIBE ME, SIR. LORD
BABBERLY, YOU'RE EXPELLED. OH, NO, SIR.
THEY WON'T TAKE ME IN
WITHOUT AN OXFORD DEGREE.
IT'S TRADITION,
YOU KNOW.
YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF ALL
THAT BEFORE YOU RANG THE FIRE BELL.
BUT I DIDN' DO IT PURPOSELY.
I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS.
I WAS UNCONSCIOUS.
JUDGING FROM YOUR SCHOLASTIC
RECORD, I SHOULD THINK IT...
EXTREMELY DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO DETERMINE
WHETHER YOU WERE UNCONSCIOUS OR NOT.
I ASSURE YOU, SIR,
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
I TRIPPED.
I- I HAVE WITNESSES.
AND WHO ARE THE WITNESSES?
WELL, CHARLES WYKEHAM
AND JACK CHESNEY.
WYKEHAM AND CHESNEY? THEY'RE
TWO VERY REPUTABLE GENTLEMEN.
WILL THEY TESTIFY TO THAT?
OH, I'M SURE THEY WILL, SIR.
THEY WERE RIGHT THERE
WHEN IT HAPPENED,
AND I KNOW I CAN
REFRESH THEIR MEMORY.
VERY WELL. BRING THEM HERE A HALF-PAST 10:00 IN THE MORNING.
IF THEY CORROBORATE YOUR
STORY, I'LL RECONSIDER. IF NOT-
OH, THANK YOU, SIR. THANK
YOU SO MUCH. GOOD DAY.
GOOD DAY, SIR.
GOOD DAY.
DID HE SAY 10:00
OR HALF-PAST?
MY NECK!
SO AS YOUR SOLICITOR, DONNA
LUCIA, I THOUGHT IT ONLY FAIR...
TO ACQUAINT YOU WITH THE
FACTS. AND I'M MOST GRATEFUL.
OF COURSE, I DON'T MIND
CHARLEY FALLING IN LOVE,
BUT AS HIS ONLY LIVING RELATIVE,
I DO HOPE IT'S THE RIGHT GIRL.
EXACTLY. NOW, I DON'T SAY THAT THE
GIRL IS A FORTUNE-HUNTER, MIND YOU,
BUT I WOULDN'T PUT I BEYOND HER GUARDIAN.
MR. SPETTIGUE'S REPUTATION
IS NONE TOO SAVORY.
IF I COULD ONLY
MEET THE YOUNG LADY...
AND JUDGE FOR MYSELF, I'D-
- SUPPOSE I WENT INCOGNITO?
- SPLENDID.
YES, BUT HOW WOULD I
GET ABOUT UNESCORTED?
OH, I CAN FIX THAT.
I'LL GIVE YOU A LETTER TO MY
NEPHEW, LORD FANCOURT BABBERLY,
AND ASK HIM TO SHOW YOU
AROUND OXFORD.
YES?
OH, NO. NO.
- NO?
- NO, THAT WON'T DO.
HE'S A FRIEND OF CHARLEY'S
AND HE MIGHT WARN HIM.
BUT DON'T TELL HIM WHO
I AM. SAY THAT I'M, UH-
I'M, UH,
MRS. BEVERLY SMITH.
RIPPING! OH-
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WELL, I'M JUST THINKING-
"SMITH. SMITH."
RATHER AN ORDINARY NAME...
FOR A FIRM OF OUR REPUTATION TO
BE CONNECTED WITH, DON'T YOU THINK?
WELL, HOW ABOU MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE?
OH, NOW-
NOW, THAT'S MUCH BETTER.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
OH, JACK?
I SAY, JACK?
OH, JACK?
HELLO, CHARLEY.
DID YOU MEET MY UNCLE?
I MEAN, YOUR AUNT?
NO. SHE WASN'T ON THE
11:00. WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD.
I HOPE SHE, UH-
I HOPE SHE ISN'T LOST.
SHE'LL PROBABLY BE IN
ON THE 12:15.
NOW, BABBS, THAT'S NO VERY SPORTING OF YOU.
YOU SAID I MIGHT KEEP I OVER THE WEEKEND. I DID NOT.
AND BESIDES, I WANT TO HAVE MY INITIALS
PUT ON IT. THAT CAN WAIT TILL MONDAY.
JACK, LOOK OUT!
THAT'S MY BAG.
CHARLEY, THAT'S MY BAG.
LOOK OUT.
I OUGHT TO BASH
YOUR CRUMPET.
YOU MIGHT HAVE
CRACKED THE LEATHER.
I SAY, YOU ARE IN A TEMPER. WHA HAPPENED? DID OLD REDCLIFFE FINE YOU?
FINE ME? HE'S GONNA SEND ME DOWN. WHAT?
YOU'D THINK YOUNG STAFFORD WOULD BE SPOR ENOUGH TO ADMIT HE'D KNOCKED YOU OUT.
HE DIDN'T KNOCK ME OUT.
I TRIPPED-
AND I'VE GOT WITNESSES
TO PROVE IT. REALLY? WHO?
YOU AND CHARLEY.
ME?
I WASN'T ANYWHERE NEAR THE PLACE.
AND I WAS ON THE CRICKET FIELD.
YOU WERE BOTH SITTING
ON THE TOP STEP,
AND DON'T FORGET THAT IN
REDCLIFFE'S OFFICE TOMORROW.
SO THAT'S IT.
OH, NOW I REMEMBER.
WE WERE SITTING ON
THE TOP STEP. EXACTLY.
YES, AND I WAS SITTING IN
YOUR LAP. OH, STOP SPOOFING.
OH, I SAY, CHARLEY. YOU CAN' BE THERE TOMORROW MORNING.
OH, NO. OF COURSE. I SHALL
BE DRAGGING MY AUNTIE ABOUT.
BUT, CHARLEY- AND I'VE GO TO SEE THE VICE-CHANCELLOR.
FELLOWS, YOU CAN'T DO THIS.
IT'S A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH.
IF YOU'RE NOT THERE
TOMORROW, I'LL BE SENT DOWN,
AND THEN MY UNCLE WON' TAKE ME INTO THE FIRM.
AND THEN MY FAMILY WILL SEND ME BACK
TO THAT SHEEP RANCH IN NEW ZEALAND.
AND WHEN I ARRIVE THERE, THEY'LL ALL
BE WAITING FOR ME AND CALLING TO ME.
WHO?
THE SHEEP-
THIRTY-FIVE THOUSAND
DIRTY, SMELLY SHEEP.
AND EVERY ONE OF THEM SAYING,
"BABBS! BABBS!"
WHAT'S SO FUNNY
ABOUT THAT?
WE WERE ONLY JOKING.
DON'T WORRY, BABBS. WE WON' LET YOU DOWN. YOU BETTER NOT.
THE LAST TIME
I WAS RUSTICATED,
MY FAMILY KEPT ME IN NEW
ZEALAND FOR TWO YEARS.
IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN, I'LL BE A
SHEEPHERDER THE REST OF MY LIFE.
SHEEPHERDER.
COME IN!
BEG PARDON, MILORD.
I'VE JUST COME FROM MR.
WIGGINS WITH YOUR COSTUME.
IT'S READY TO TRY ON. I'LL DO
IT RIGHT AWAY. NOW SEE HERE.
YOU CAN START LAYING THE LUNCHEON
TABLE AT ANY TIME, BRASSETT.
YES, SIR.
AND BRASSETT-
- FETCH ME SIX-PENNY WORTH OF
HAIRPINS. - HAIRPINS, MILORD?
HAIRPINS.
VERY GOOD, MILORD.
TAKE IT OUT OF THAT HALF CROWN
I GAVE YOU THIS MORNING.
YES, MILORD.
BEG PARDON, SIR.
COME IN!
DON'T SHOUT AT ME, SON. I'M
BRINGING YOU YOUR ALLOWANCE.
DAD!
HOW ARE YOU, JACK?
SPLENDID, SIR. CHARLEY,
I WANT YOU TO MEET MY DAD.
DAD, THIS IS CHARLEY WYKEHAM.
HOW DO YOU DO, SIR FRANCIS?
HELLO, WYKEHAM.
WELL, I'LL RUN ALONG.
I'LL BE IN MY ROOMS
IF YOU WANT ME, JACK.
GOOD-BYE, SIR FRANCIS.
GOOD-BYE, WYKEHAM.
I SAY, YOU ARE
A HANDSOME DEVIL.
NOT BAD FOR 51, EH? NO
ONE WOULD EVER BELIEVE IT-
GOOD-LOOKING, CHARMING,
DEBONAIR.
NO NEED GOING ON, JACK. YOUR
CHECK'S ALREADY MADE OUT.
YOU KNOW, DAD, I DON' SEE HALF ENOUGH OF YOU.
I WISH I COULD AFFORD
CIGARS LIKE THESE.
WELL, CAN'T YOU?
NO.
NOW THAT I'VE COME INTO
THE FAMILY TITLE,
I HAVE ALSO COME INTO
THE FAMILY DEBTS. DEBTS?
MM. YOU KNOW
- RED INK AND ALL THAT SORT OF THING.
I'M AFRAID, JACK,
FOR THE NEXT FEW YEARS...
WE'RE GOING TO BE KNOWN AS
CHARMING, EDUCATED, CULTURED PAUPERS.
WELL.
THAT RUINS ME WITH KITTY. HMM?
WHAT'S THAT? OH, NOTHING, NOTHING. I-
JUST THINKING ALOUD.
THERE'S ONE RAY
OF HOPE THOUGH. I-
I THINK I HAVE AN APPOINTMEN FOR YOU IN NEW ZEALAND.
NEW ZEALAND?
MM-HMM. WONDERFUL PLACE.
GREAT SHEEP-RAISING COUNTRY.
YES.
I'VE HEARD
ALL ABOUT IT.
SAY, DAD.
I'VE AN IDEA.
COULDN'T THIS ALL BE SETTLED
BY A WEALTHY MARRIAGE?
OH, NO. I RATHER DISLIKE
THAT SORT OF THING, JACK.
IF I WERE YOU-
LISTEN.
CHARLEY WYKEHAM'S AUNT,
DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ,
IS COMING HERE
TO LUNCH TODAY.
SHE'S A WEALTHY WIDOW-
NO, DON'T DO IT, JACK.
I WOULDN'T ADVISE
YOUR MARRYING JUST FOR MONEY.
BUT NOT ME, DAD. YOU. ME?
OH, YOU YOUNG DEVIL.
I'LL GET ALONG, SON.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
I WASN'T, SIR.
I'M AFRAID I WAS BEING
VERY SELFISH.
WHAT?
YOU SEE, DAD,
I'M IN LOVE-
FRIGHTFULLY, DEVASTATINGLY.
BUT WITHOUT ANY MONEY,
I HAVEN'T THE RIGHT.
WHAT'S SHE LIKE?
OH, SHE-
SHE'S LIKE THE STARS,
THE MOON AND THE SUN.
IS SHE NOW?
SOUNDS LIKE THE REAL THING.
IT IS, SIR.
I WAS GOING TO PROPOSE TO
HER AT LUNCH TODAY, BUT-
HOW ARE THE SHEEP
IN NEW ZEALAND?
PRETTY BAD.
RATHER SMELLY TOO.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, JACK?
WON'T SHE WAIT?
OH, I THINK
SHE WOULD, SIR,
BUT SHE HAS A GUARDIAN.
OH.
YOUR MOTHER AND I ELOPED
UNDER SIMILAR CIRCUMSTANCES-
BUT OF COURSE AT THE TIME
I HAD A LITTLE INCOME.
YES, AN INCOME CAN BE
A WONDERFUL THING.
IT CERTAINLY CAN.
UH, HOW OLD IS THIS,
UH, CHARLEY'S AUNT?
OH, I DON'T KNOW. PROBABLY
90, LIKE MOST AUNTS.
WELL, AT 90
THEY DON'T BOTHER YOU MUCH.
AND YOU SAY
SHE'S VERY WEALTHY?
THEY SAY
SHE HAS MILLIONS.
I'M SURE YOUR MOTHER
WOULD UNDERSTAND. HMM?
WELL, I'LL HAVE LUNCHEON
WITH YOU TODAY. OH, NO, DAD.
I COULDN'T LET YOU DO
ANYTHING LIKE THIS FOR ME.
A LOVELESS MARRIAGE? BU I'M DOING IT FOR LOVE, SON.
I THINK I'LL RUN ALONG
AND GET SHAVED.
NO MAN SHOULD PROPOSE
ON A FULL BEARD.
AFTER ALL, IT WOULD BE
RATHER NICE TO HAVE THE STARS,
THE SUN AND THE MOON
FOR A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW.
WHAT DID YOU SAY HER
NAME WAS, JACK? KITTY.
KITTY.
THAT'S A LOVELY NAME, JACK.
YES, SIR. IT IS.
KITTY.
THANK YOU.
JACK? JACK!
SHE'S NOT COMING.
DON'T TELL ME THAT.
BUT SHE MUST COME.
WE'RE EXPECTING HER.
SEND HER A WIRE. TELL HER
- THERE'S NOT TIME ENOUGH.
THE GIRLS WON'T STAY
WITHOUT A CHAPERONE.
MAYBE THE REGISTRAR'S WIFE WILL
- JACK!
LOOK.
COME IN.
COME IN!
OH, I BEG YOUR PARDON.
CAN I HELP YOU?
WELL, BOYS, HOW DO YOU
LIKE ME? WHAT THE DICKENS-
BABBS!
AUNTIE.
- WHERE IS SHE?
SHE COULDN'T COME.
SO WE'VE GOT TO GE ANOTHER CHAPERONE.
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
ASK MRS.-
OH, NO, YOU DON'T!
OH, YES, WE DO!
NOW, STOP IT! STOP IT, YOU
BLACKGUARDS. STOP IT, I SAY.
STOP IT, YOU FELLOWS.
STOP IT, I SAY.
IF YOU CAN FOOL US, YOU CAN
FOOL THE GIRLS. COME ON, BABBS.
BE A SPORT. I WON'T BE A
LADY FOR YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE.
KEEP YOUR DISTANCE.
AND I MEAN IT.
VERY WELL. YOU KNOW, CHARLEY,
I'VE JUST BEEN THINKING.
I DON'T REMEMBER SEEING BABBS
TRIP ON THE STAIRS LAST NIGHT.
COME TO THINK OF IT,
I DON'T EITHER.
AND IF WE DIDN'T SEE HIM, WE COULDN' VERY WELL TELL REDCLIFFE THAT WE DID.
OH, OF COURSE NOT.
THAT WOULD BE LYING.
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO. HE'LL
SEND ME DOWN IF YOU DON'T.
THEN YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SEE
ALL THOSE LOVELY SHEEP.
THIS IS BLACKMAIL.
YES.
IT'S VERY SIMPLE. YOU HELP
US, AND WE'LL HELP YOU.
OH.
SHH! WE MUST TIDY UP THE ROOM.
JUST A MOMENT.
YOU'D BETTER MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
BUT FELLOWS, THIS IS-
THIS IS ALL SO UNFAIR.
ALL RIGHT, LITTLE BO PEEP, IF
YOU WANT YOUR SHEEP BACK AGAIN-
BUT YOU PROMISED.
ARE YOU GONNA TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF AN OLD FRIENDSHIP?
THE ANSWER IS YES.
WELL? I CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH
IT. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
JUST KEEP YOUR VOICE UP
AND YOUR DRESS DOWN.
COME IN.
HOW DO YOU DO? SO NICE OF YOU TO COME.
ARE WE TOO EARLY,
MR. WYKEHAM?
OH, NO. YOU DIDN'T MENTION
ANY TIME, MR. CHESNEY,
SO WE
- SO WE CAME DIRECTLY. MR. SPETTIGUE LEFT THE HOUSE.
WON'T YOU SIT DOWN?
Y- YES.
THANK YOU, BUT HAS
MR. WYKEHAM'S AUNT ARRIVED YET?
OH, UH, YES.
YES, OF COURSE.
OH.
OH, UH, DONNA LUCIA,
MISS SPETTIGUE.
MISS VERDUN,
DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ.
CHARLEY'S AUNT.
YES. MY- MY AUNT.
OH, UH, ARE YOU, UH, QUITE
COMFORTABLE, AUNTIE DEAR?
SAY SOMETHING, YOU IDIOT.
HOW-
HOW-
HOW DO YOU DO?
BABBS.
HOW DO YOU DO,
MY DEARS?
HOW DO YOU DO,
DONNA LUCIA?
WE BROUGHT YOU THESE.
FOR ME?
I MEAN-
FOR ME?
HOW SWEET OF YOU,
MY DEARS.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SET DOWN YOUR PARASOLS,
LADIES? OH, THANK YOU, MR. WYKEHAM.
OH, MISS AMY, I WAN TO SHOW YOU THIS PICTURE.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TO DO WITH THESE?
PUT 'EM IN YOUR DRESS.
NO, THAT'S ANOTHER FELLOW.
THAT'S JACK AT THE TOP.
WITH A MUSTACHE.
HE HAD ONE LAST YEAR.
SILLY PICTURES.
DON'T SHOW THEM THAT.
I WON THIS TROPHY
AT LA CROSSE.
THIS BAT IS RATHER NICE.
IT'S AUTOGRAPHED
BY W.G. GRACE.
YOU'VE SEEN HIM.
ENORMOUS BEARD.
AMAZING OLD MAN.
YOU KNOW WHO HE IS,
DON'T YOU? NO, I DON'T.
IS THIS YOUR PICTURE, JACK? YES,
THAT'S ME. IT WAS MY FIRST YEAR.
MAY I ARRANGE THOSE
FOR YOU, DONNA LUCIA?
SO NICE OF YOU, MY DEAR.
THE TABLE-
THIS IS THE ONE I MEANT.
THANK YOU.
OH, COME IN, BRASSETT. OH, BEG
PARDON, MILORD. MR. WIGGINS-
NOW, BRASSETT, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE
I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME MILORD?
NOT YET, ANYWAY. PERHAPS
LATER, BUT, UH, NOT NOW.
OH, I WANT YOU TO LAY
ANOTHER PLACE FOR MY FATHER.
YES, SIR. HE CAN SI NEXT TO, UH, DONNA LUCIA.
OH. YES, SIR.
CROSSING THE QUAD, SIR,
I SAW A GENTLEMAN.
HE WAS EVIDENTLY
HEADING THIS WAY, SIR.
I BELIEVE
IT WAS MR. SPETTIGUE.
OH! MR. SPETTIGUE!
OH, AMY.
KITTY.
MR. SPETTIGUE.
UNCLE DIDN'T GO TO LONDON
AT ALL. NO, IT WAS A TRICK-
JUST TO SEE WHAT WE'D DO.
WE CAN HIDE IN THAT ROOM.
SOMEBODY PLEASE
SEND HIM AWAY.
YOU GET RID OF HIM.
OH, NO!
I WISH TO SEE MR. CHESNEY.
WELL, DON'T SHOUT.
I'M NOT A BARMAID, YOU KNOW.
WHERE ARE MR. CHESNEY
AND MR. WYKEHAM?
AND WHERE ARE YOUR MANNERS,
YOU DRUNKEN SOT? WHAT?
REMOVE YOUR HA IN THE PRESENCE OF A LADY,
OR I SHALL WRITE
TO THETIMESABOUT THIS.
THAT'S BETTER
- OR IS IT? I WISH TO SEE THE TWO YOUNG GENTLEMEN AT ONCE.
WELL, YOU CAN'T SEE THEM, BECAUSE
I'M THE ONLY GENTLEMAN PRESENT.
WHAT?
I MEAN, I'M-
I DISTINCTLY SAW TWO
YOUNG LADIES COME IN HERE.
WELL, THAT'S CURIOUS, BECAUSE
I'M THE ONLY YOUNG LADY HERE.
OF COURSE, IN YOUR CONDITION, YOU PROBABLY SAW ME TWICE
- COMING AND GOING.
I FLIT BACK AND FORTH. THEY'VE
PROBABLY GONE INTO THE GARDEN.
THEY'VE DONE
NOTHING OF THE KIND.
THEN THEY'VE GONE INTO TOWN.
THEN WHY DON'T YOU FOLLOW THEM-
IF YOU'RE ABLE TO WALK
IN YOUR CONDITION.
MADAM, I AM PERFECTLY SOBER.
SOBER?
SOBER?
MADAM, I ASSURE YOU-
I ADVISE YOU TO SIGN
THE TEMPERANCE PLEDGE...
AND BE SAVED
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
SOMETHING JUST HIT ME.
PROBABLY THE TENTH DRINK.
YOU CAN COME OUT NOW,
MY DEARS.
HOW SWEET OF YOU,
DONNA LUCIA.
OH, YOU WERE AN ANGEL
TO DO IT FOR US.
LOOK AT HIM.
I OUGHT TO TAP HIS CLARET.
DONNA LUCIA
- I THINK YOU'D BETTER SIT DOWN.
LADIES, I DON'T THINK YOU'VE SEEN
OUR VIEW OF THE CLOISTERS, HAVE YOU?
ON A CLEAR DAY, YOU CAN
SEE THEM QUITE CLEARLY.
WHEN IT'S CLEAR.
REALLY?
I JUST SAW YOUR FATHER
COMING UP THE STAIRS, SIR.
NOW, YOU BE CAREFUL
WHEN MY DAD GETS HERE.
WHY? I'M NOT RELATED
TO HIM TOO, AM I?
OF COURSE NOT, YOU IDIOT. YOU'RE
CHARLEY'S AUNT FROM BRAZIL.
BRAZIL. YOU KNOW, WHERE
THE NUTS COME FROM.
OH! IT'S YOUR UNCLE AGAIN.
NO, NO, NO. IT'S MY FATHER.
HELLO, DAD.
HELLO, JACK.
MISS SPETTIGUE,
MISS VERDUN- KITTY-
MY FATHER.
OH, DELIGHTED.
HAS, UH,
SHE COME YET?
OH, UH, CHARLEY, WILL
YOU INTRODUCE YOUR AUNT?
OH, UH, YES, OF COURSE.
UH, DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ,
SIR FRANCIS CHESNEY-
JACK'S FATHER.
HOW DO YOU DO, SIR FRANCIS?
HOW DO YOU DO?
I'M CHARLEY'S AUN FROM BRAZIL-
WHERE THE NUTS
COME FROM.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
SHE WAS ONLY 90.
LISTEN, DAD,
I WANTED TO EXPLAIN-
MY SON HAD TOLD ME HOW WEALTH-
HOW CHARMING YOU WERE,
AND AFTER SEEING YOU, I CAN ONLY SAY
THAT HE IS A MASTER AT UNDERSTATEMENT.
HOW SWEET OF YOU.
MY, WHAT A LOVELY FLOWER.
OH, YOU LIKE IT?
WILL YOU ACCEPT IT?
THANK YOU, SIR FRANCIS.
I SHALL HAVE IT STUFFED.
LUNCHEON IS READY, SIR.
THANK YOU, BRASSETT.
DAD, WILL YOU TAKE
- DONNA LUCIA? BUT OF COURSE, SON.
OH, WILL YOU SEAT US,
PLEASE, AUNTIE? YES.
NOW, THE GIRLS
- THE GIRLS WILL SIT RIGHT HERE NEXT TO ME.
BUT, AUNTIE, YOU HAVE
TO CARVE THELAMB.
WELL, IN THAT CASE
- THE YOUNG LADIES WILL SIT THERE...
AND THERE.
YES, YES, YES.
WILL YOU BE SEATED,
DONNA LUCIA? THANK YOU.
I WILL SIT HERE, SON.
BRASSETT, YOU CAN OPEN
THE CHAMPAGNE. YES, SIR.
HOW DO YOU FIND
THE CLIMATE IN LONDON?
BRASSETT, WHERE'S THE CHAMPAGNE?
I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND IT, SIR.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
THE CHAMPAGNE, AUNTIE.
WHAT? YOU HAVEN'T ANY?
LUCKY I BROUGHT SOME WITH ME.
IN MY BAG, BRASSETT.
SO! I WAS RIGH AFTER ALL.
WHY, MR. SPETTIGUE
- COME OUT FROM THERE THIS INSTANT.
COME OUT, COME OUT. PLEASE, MR.
SPETTIGUE, I ASSURE YOU WE THOUGHT-
YOU THOUGHT I'D GONE TO LONDON.
THAT'S WHY YOU BOTH CAME HERE.
WHERE DID YOU GE THAT HAT? TAKE IT OFF!
YOU'RE A VERY SILLY OLD WOMAN,
AND PLEASE DON'T INTERFERE.
WHY, YOU-
LOOK HERE, SIR. YOU CANNOT PUT SUCH
AN AFFRONT UPON MR. WYKEHAM'S FRIENDS.
I CAN ONLY SAY THA I'M DEEPLY ANNOYED...
TO FIND MY NIECE
AND MY WARD-
WITHOUT MY PERMISSION-
COMING HERE TO-
MEET MR. WYKEHAM'S AUNT.
INDEED.
ALLOW ME
TO INTRODUCE YOU.
DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ,
MR. SPETTIGUE.
DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ?
THE MILLIONAIRESS?
HOW DO YOU DO?
HOW DO YOU DO,
MR. SPETTIGUE?
I'M CHARLEY'S AUN FROM BRAZIL-
WHERE THE NUTS
COME FROM.
PLEASE- PLEASE FORGIVE ME
FOR BEING SO RUDE.
HOWEVER, NOW THAT I SEE
THAT MY WARDS CAME ONLY...
TO PAY THEIR RESPECTS
TO A MOST CHARMING WOMAN,
I AM ASHAMED
OF MY UNGENTLEMANLY CONDUCT.
BUT COME, COME
- WE CAN'T BE GENTLEMEN ALL THE TIME.
CAN WE?
NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE, MR.
SPETTIGUE, WON'T YOU STAY FOR LUNCH?
WELL, IF YOU WISH IT.
AM I FORGIVEN? FORGIVEN.
WILL YOU ACCEPT THIS
FLOWER AS A PEACE OFFERING?
OH, THANK YOU.
MADAM, ALLOW ME.
THANK YOU.
NO, NO! ALLOW ME.
NOW SHALL WE SIT DOWN?
BRASSETT,
YOU MAY SERVE THE-
OH!
DONNA LUCIA!
IS IT NOT ROMANTIC THAT SHELLEY
ONCE STROLLED THESE SAME PATHS?
AND HERE WE ARE.
AND HERE WE ARE.
OH! WHY, YOU-
OH.
WHY, I BEG YOUR PARDON,
MADAM.
NOW THAT WE'RE ALONE,
DONNA LUCIA,
THERE IS SO MUCH
I'D LIKE TO SAY TO YOU.
I KNOW, AND THERE ARE A FEW
THINGS I WANT TO SAY TO YOU TOO.
OH, DON'T BE AFRAID, DONNA
LUCIA. LET YOUR HEART SPEAK.
I
- I DOUBT IF THIS IS THE TIME OR PLACE. I HAVE IT.
LET'S MEET IN THE GARDEN
OVER THERE IN 15 MINUTES.
GOOD. THEN WE CAN SPEAK
FREELY.
I SHALL BE WAITING.
AHA. I SEE YOU'VE
GOT RID OF SIR FRANCIS.
UH, YES.
HE HAD AN APPOINTMENT.
GOOD. AND NOW THAT THA FORTUNE HUNTER IS GONE,
I CAN TELL YOU SOMETHING
THAT HAS BEEN ON MY MIND...
EVER SINCE I FIRST MET YOU.
WELL, I'M SURE IT'LL BE VERY INTERESTING
- TO ONE OF US.
I KNOW A VERY QUIE LITTLE PLACE.
A SHADY BOWER
NEAR THE RIVER.
UH, SPLENDID. YOU GO THERE,
AND I'LL MEET YOU LATER.
OH, YOU COME WITH ME. AH
- MY REPUTATION, YOU KNOW.
IF THEY SEE US TOGETHER,
PEOPLE MIGHT TALK.
OH, OF COURSE, OF COURSE.
FORGIVE MY IMPETUOSITY.
JUST FOLLOW THIS PATH. YOU
CAN'T MISS IT. YOU CAN'T!
NOW I KNOW WHAT WOMEN
GO THROUGH.
MY DEAR-
MY DEAR KITTY-
THERE'S SOMETHING I'D VERY
MUCH LIKE TO SAY TO YOU.
THEN SAY IT, MR. CHESNEY.
WELL, I-
OH!
I BEG YOUR PARDON, DEAR. I
ONLY WANTED TO SPEAK TO JACK.
CERTAINLY, SIR FRANCIS.
I'LL GO AND FIND AMY.
CONFOUND IT, DAD.
I WAS ABOUT TO PROPOSE.
BUT NOW, JACK, YOU CAN PROPOSE
WITH A CLEAR CONSCIENCE.
MY CONSCIENCE
IS PERFECTLY CLEAR, DAD.
IT'LL BE CLEARER
THAN EVER NOW, JACK.
WE'LL HAVE AN INCOME AGAIN. HOW?
DONNA LUCIA
- SHE'S MINE. UH, I MEAN, OURS. DONNA LUCIA?
YES.
HAVE YOU PROPOSED?
NOT YET, BUT THE WAY
THE OLD GIRL'S...
BEEN COOING AT ME, IT WON' BE LONG NOW. DAD, YOU MUSTN'T.
I FORBID IT. NOW, JACK,
WE'VE BEEN ALL THROUGH THAT.
IT'S NOT ONLY FOR YOUR GOOD,
BUT MINE. DAD, PLEASE, YOU CAN'T.
WE CAN'T. WE MUSTN'T HAVE
ANYBODY LIKE THAT IN THE FAMILY.
THERE'D BE A SCANDAL. A SCANDAL WITH A
PERFECTLY HARMLESS OLD LADY LIKE THAT?
DAD, LISTEN. THERE'S
SOMETHING I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU.
YES, JACK?
SHE-
SHE ISN'T WHAT SHE SEEMS.
NO?
NO, SHE ISN'T.
SHE-
SHE'S A WOMAN WITH A PAST.
A PAST?
YOU CAN'T HAVE A PAST WITH A FACE
LIKE THAT, JACK. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
HER FACE WASN'T ALWAYS
LIKE THAT.
AND BESIDES, SHE DRINKS. YES,
SIR, SHE DRINKS EXCESSIVELY.
IT'S TRUE. HER SUITCASE
IS FILLED WITH CHAMPAGNE.
YOU SAW IT YOURSELF A LUNCHEON. I KNOW, JACK, BUT YOU-
OH, DAD, YOU'RE TOO GOOD AND FINE TO
THROW YOURSELF AWAY ON A WOMAN LIKE THAT.
IT'S TRUE, I NEVER DID LIKE
A WOMAN WHO DRINKS TOO MUCH.
OH, BUT AFTER ALL, I
SHALL BE DRINKING WITH HER.
IT WON'T BE TOO MUCH OF A
SACRIFICE. OH, DAD, NOT NOW.
WAIT A FEW DAYS. A FEW DAYS? NO, JACK.
I'VE GOT TO WORK FAS TO BEAT OUT OLD SPETTIGUE.
HE'S BEEN GETTING IDEAS
ABOUT THE LADY TOO. SPETTIGUE?
YES, AND IF HE GETS HER, YOU
MAY AS WELL KISS KITTY GOOD-BYE.
NO, SON. I'VE SEEN MY DUTY,
AND I'M GOING TO DO IT.
BUT FIRST I'M GOING UP
TO YOUR ROOMS...
AND HAVE A RATTLING-GOOD
WHISKEY AND SODA.
I DON'T THINK I COULD PROPOSE
TO THAT FACE WITHOUT ONE.
OH, DAD, THINK IT OVER FOR
A TIME. IT'S NO USE, SON.
I SAY-
WHERE'S YOUR WHISKEY?
IN THE PIANO.
OH, DONNA LUCIA,
THANK YOU.
IT WAS TERRIBLY CLEVER OF YOU TO
ENGAGE MR. SPETTIGUE IN CONVERSATION...
SO WE COULD STEAL AWAY
BY OURSELVES.
I WAS ONLY TOO HAPPY
TO HELP, MY DEAR.
UH, MY DEAR, WOULD YOU BE GOOD ENOUGH
TO SHOW ME THE CLOISTERS AND THINGS?
DELIGHTED.
LOOK AT HIM. HE JUST STOLE
HER RIGHT AWAY FROM ME.
THAT'S NOTHING.
YOU KNOW WHERE MY FATHER IS?
GETTING HIMSELF A RATTLING-GOOD
WHISKEY AND SODA. WHAT FOR?
TO PROPOSE TO BABBS. THAT'S
WHAT FOR. PROPOSE TO BABBS?
HMM. FOR MY SAKE.
FOR YOUR SAKE?
YES. FOR SOMEBODY'S SAKE,
LET'S DO SOMETHING.
DONNA LUCIA, MAY I
SEE YOU FOR A MOMENT?
MAY I SHOW YOU
THE HOLLYHOCKS, MISS AMY?
OH, YES.
PLEASE REMEMBER
I'M A FRAGILE OLD LADY.
HAVE YOU BEEN LEADING
MY FATHER ON?
NO, I MERELY FLUTTERED
MY EYELASHES.
WELL, THAT WAS ENOUGH.
HE'S GOING TO PROPOSE.
ALL RIGHT, IF HE WANTS TO PROPO
- WHAT? OH, NO, NOT ME!
I'M NOT GONNA MARRY HIM!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
GOING UP TO MY ROOM
AND BARRICADE THE DOOR.
YOUR FATHER'S AN ARMY MAN,
AND I KNOW THE ARMY.
NOW, DON'T BE AN IDIOT, BABBS.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS REMAIN CALM.
CALM? WITH THE ARMY AFTER
ME? NO, JACK, I'M THROUGH.
I'M GETTING OUT OF THESE
PETTICOATS RIGHT NOW.
? BAA, BAA, BLACK SHEEP
HAVE YOU ANY WOOL?
? YES, SIR, YES, SIR
THREE BAGS FULL?
ALL RIGHT, YOU WIN.
BUT IF I TURN OUT TO BE YOUR
STEPMOTHER, DON'T BLAME ME.
WELL, ALL RIGHT,
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
BRING ON THE OLD ROUE, AND WE'LL
GET THIS WRESTLING MATCH OVER WITH.
HE'S BOLSTERING HIS COURAGE AT THE MOMEN WITH A DRINK. HE'S A LITTLE NERVOUS.
HE'S NERVOUS?
HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?
YOO-HOO!
MY DEAR DONNA LUCIA,
YOU ARE HERE.
WON'T YOU COME
INTO THE GARDEN?
WON'T YOU SIT DOWN?
THANK YOU.
DONNA LUCIA, DO YOU KNOW THAT MEETING
YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY...
IS TO ME
LIKE A LONELY TRAVELER...
COMING ACROSS SOME BRIGH LITTLE FLOWERLET IN THE DESERT.
YOU MEAN ME?
YES, DONNA LUCIA, YES.
DONNA LUCIA, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT A MAN LONGS FOR...
WHEN HE IS DESOLATE,
WRETCHED AND LONELY?
OH, NO, NO, NO.
HE LONGS TO PLANT THAT LITTLE
FLOWERLET IN HIS HEART...
AND NURTURE I WITH KINDNESS AND LOVE...
AND SEE IT GROW IN ALL
ITS SPLENDOR AND BEAUTY.
TO FIND THIS LITTLE FLOWERLET, I
HAVE COME ALL THE WAY FROM INDIA.
INDIA?
THEN YOU MUST BE AWFULLY
TIRED. HAVE A CHAIR.
THANK YOU.
NOW THAT I HAVE FOUND
THIS LITTLE FLOWERLET,
I WANT I TO BE WITH ME ALWAYS.
I WANT IT TO WALK
BY MY SIDE,
TO SEE THE SPLENDOR
OF THE TAJ MAHAL,
TO BE KISSED
BY THE TROPICAL MOON.
OH, DARN THAT THING!
PARDON ME.
TERRIBLY CLUMSY OF ME.
OH.
WHAT A CLUMSY OAF I AM.
I'M SO TERRIBLY SORRY.
AH, I WILL WASTE
NO MORE WORDS, DONNA LUCIA.
WILL YOU BE MY LITTLE FLOWERLET?
WILL YOU BE MY WIFE?
WELL, YOU SEE-
THEN I MAY HOPE?
I'M AFRAID NOT.
NO, DON'T HOPE.
I WOULDN'T HOPE
IF I WERE YOU.
FRANKLY, SIR FRANCIS, I INTEND TO MARRY
SOMEONE MUCH YOUNGER THAN YOURSELF.
YOU SEE, YOU
ALREADY HAVE A SON.
WHILE I- I HOPE TO HAVE
A FAMILY OF MY OWN SOMEDAY.
AT YOUR AGE?
OH, I KNOW I'M A LITTLE YOUNG
TO BE SPEAKING OF CHILDREN,
BUT I WON'T ALWAYS
BE YOUNG NOW, WILL I?
NO, I SUPPOSE NOT. BUT I PROMISE
YOU ONE THING, SIR FRANCIS.
I WILL ALWAYS BE
A SISTER TO YOU.
THAT IS, IF YOU CARE
FOR THAT SORT OF THING.
NO WORDS OF MINE
CAN ALTER YOUR DECISION?
THEN PLEASE ACCEPT MY REGRETS AND APOLOGIES
FOR EVER HAVING BROACHED THE SUBJECT.
GOOD DAY.
GOOD DAY, SIR FRANCIS.
GOOD DAY.
CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE I'LL
FIND LORD FANCOURT BABBERLY?
LORD FANCOURT? WELL, UH, HIS ROOMS ARE IN
THAT BUILDING, BUT HE'S NOT IN AT PRESENT.
OH. WILL YOU SEE HIM SHORTLY?
OH, YES, AT ANY MOMENT.
I WONDER IF YOU'LL GIVE
HIM THIS, PLEASE. OF COURSE.
JUST TELL HIM THA MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE WAS HERE.
I'M GOING TO THE INN NOW,
AND I SHALL BE BACK IN AN HOUR.
CERTAINLY, MADAM.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THAT'S THE WOMAN
UNCLE TELEGRAPHED ABOUT.
AND FROM HERE
SHE LOOKS MIGHTY NICE.
WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO? I'VE GO TO ENTERTAIN MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE.
I CAN'T DO IT IN THIS
OUTFIT. JUST A MOMENT!
YOU CAN'T QUIT ON US LIKE
THIS. NOW SEE HERE, JACK.
THAT WOMAN IS A VERY IMPORTAN CLIENT, AND I'VE GOT TO-
OH, NOW LOOK
WHO'S COMING.
IF YOU DISAPPEAR NOW, HE'LL BE
SUSPICIOUS. I'VE GOTTA MEET THAT WOMAN.
BUT SHE WON'T BE BACK FOR AN HOUR. YOU
CAN GET RID OF THIS ROMEO IN FIVE MINUTES.
JUST TURN HIM DOWN
LIKE YOU DID DAD.
BUT HE'S IN HIS THIRD
CHILDHOOD. HE'S A CHEEK PINCHER.
A BOOCHA-BOOCHA-BOOCHA. OH,
COME ON, BABBS. GET IT OVER WITH.
OH, ALL RIGHT.
DO I LOOK SEDUCTIVE ENOUGH?
I HATE TO MENTION THIS,
AUNTIE, BUT YOU NEED A SHAVE.
I SHAVED THIS MORNING.
NOT CLOSE ENOUGH FOR AUNTIE.
IF OLD SPETTIGUE PINCHES YOUR CHEEK
AND FEELS THAT STUBBLE, IT'S TROUBLE.
NOW, COME ON. BE A GOOD GIRL
AND WHISK OFF THOSE WHISKERS.
YOU CAN USE THE RAZOR IN MY ROOM.
WHY CAN'T I BE A BEARDED LADY?
DONNA LUCIA!
MR. SPETTIGUE!
YES.
YOU'RE VERY NAUGHTY COMING IN HERE
LIKE THIS. I JUST HAD TO TALK TO YOU.
STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. SHAME
ON YOU, COMING UP HERE UNINVITED.
JUST FOR THAT, I'M GONNA CLOSE
THE DOOR. NO, DON'T, DONNA LUCIA.
I WAITED FOR YOU IN THE BOWER,
AND WHEN YOU DIDN'T COME, I-
OH, DONNA LUCIA,
FORGIVE ME. FORGIVE ME.
RATHER THAN OFFEND YOU,
I WOULD DESTROY MYSELF.
OH, DONNA LUCIA, DONNA LUCIA, YOU
ARE SUCH A PICTURE OF LOVELINESS.
I THOUGHT MY LIFE SPAN WAS OVER, AND THEN
- THEN I SAW YOU.
YOUR FACE- YOUR FACE
WAS LIKE A KINDLY BREEZE...
CARRYING BACK TO ME
ALL THE DAYS OF MY YOUTH.
OH, MR. SPETTIGUE!
I SAY, BABBS,
HAVE YOU SEEN KITTY?
KITTY? ALL I'VE SEEN
IS SPETTIGUE. SPETTIGUE?
YES, AND HE'S AFTER ME.
COME ON.
OH!
OH, IT'S YOU, MADAM.
VERY CARELESS OF ME.
I BEG YOUR PARDON.
OH!
THAT WAS A CLOSE SHAVE, WASN' IT? BUT NOT CLOSE ENOUGH. LOOK.
SPETTIGUE CAUGHT ME RIGH IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. WHAT?
YES. AND KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN
FOR HIM WHILE I FINISH SHAVING.
HURRY UP! SPETTIGUE'S
JUST COMING OUT OF THE BUILDING!
I CAN CUT MY THROA JUST SO FAST AND NO FASTER.
- HERE HE COMES!
- GOOD. LET ME AT HIM.
I'LL TURN HIM DOWN RIGHT OFF, AND HE CAN
TAKE HIS BROKEN HEART AND GET OUT OF HERE.
BUT HE'S SURE TO TAKE KITTY AND AMY
WITH HIM. GOOD. WE CAN GET RID OF THEM.
BUT KITTY CAN'T LEAVE NOW.
I HAVEN'T PROPOSED TO HER YET.
YOU'VE GOTTA KEEP OLD SPETTIGUE
AROUND HERE A LITTLE LONGER. OH!
KEEP HIM ON THE HOOK UNTIL
I'VE HAD MY TALK WITH KITTY.
BUT I CAN'T DO THAT. WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR
- A TEASE?
AND WHAT ABOUT MRS. BEVERLY
SMYTHE? NOW, LISTEN, BABBS.
OH, ALL RIGHT. BUT HURRY UP
BEFORE MY BEARD GROWS BACK AGAIN.
HERE HE IS.
AH, THERE YOU ARE.
HELLO.
DONNA LUCIA.
CHASE ME.
OH.
CERTAINLY, MADAM.
EXCUSE ME, SIR. HAVE YOU SEEN A
DISTINGUISHED LOOKING LADY ABOUT HERE?
DEFINITELY. OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
KITTY, YOU KNOW
I LIKE YOU ENORMOUSLY.
YES. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT EVEN
CONSTRUE IT AS LOVE, MIGHTN'T THEY?
YEAH- YES! AND, WELL, WHEN TWO
PEOPLE LOVE EACH OTHER, THEY-THEY-
THEY BECOME ENGAGED, DON'T THEY? YEAH.
YES! AND I THOUGH THAT IF YOU-
OH, YOU ARE A DEAR
TO ASK ME, JACK.
OH, WHAT'S THE USE
OF TALKING?
I'LL BE POOR
FOR THE NEXT FEW YEARS.
WE'D HAVE TO LIVE IN THE
SUBURBS ON TUPPENCE A YEAR.
WELL, IS THERE ANY REASON
WHY WE SHOULDN'T?
KITTY!
YOU KNOW VERY LITTLE
ABOUT ME, JACK.
DO YOU THINK IF I WERE IN LOVE, BEING
POOR WOULD MAKE THE SLIGHTEST DIFFERENCE?
WE WON'T BE FOR LONG.
I'LL WORK HARD.
OH, I'M MUCH TOO FOND OF YOU
TO LET MONEY STAND IN THE WAY.
YOU ARE, KITTY?
THEN- THEN-
THEN WILL I MARRY YOU,
JACK? YES.
OH, KITTY.
I DID IT.
I DID IT!
I DON'T SEE HOW.
IF I WERE A MAN, I'M SURE I'D
NEVER HAVE THE COURAGE TO PROPOSE.
OH!
YOU ARE BOLD,
AREN'T YOU, JACK?
OH, I- I'M TERRIBLY
SORRY, KITTY.
OH, I WASN'T COMPLAINING. I WAS
MERELY EXPRESSING AN OPINION.
YOU'RE SO PRETTY.
REALLY, MR. WYKEHAM, YOU NEEDN' SOUND SO DEPRESSED ABOUT IT.
OH, I'M NOT DEPRESSED. I'M JUS - JUST OVEREXCITED.
OH, MISS AMY.
YES?
WELL, DON'T LOOK AT ME.
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
I LOVE YOU.
WELL?
WELL WHAT?
WELL, AREN'T YOU GOING TO
SAY, "THIS IS SO SUDDEN"?
IT ISN'T REALLY, IS IT, CHARLEY? AMY!
OH, CHARLEY, I FORGOT ABOU UNCLE. WELL, WHAT ABOUT HIM?
OH, BUT WHAT ABOU MY GUARDIAN, MR. SPETTIGUE?
OH. I'LL SEE HIM AT ONCE
AND ASK HIS CONSENT.
AND YOU MUST GET IT IN WRITING. WRITING?
YES. SO THAT LATER
HE CAN'T RETRACT IT.
YOU DON'T KNOW HIM AS WELL
AS I DO. I DON'T TRUST HIM.
OH, BUT I COULDN'T ASK HIM
TO DO A THING LIKE THAT.
NO. BUT DONNA LUCIA COULD.
DONNA LUCIA?
YES.
MR. SPETTIGUE HAS FALLEN A COMPLETE VICTIM
TO HER CHARMS. HE'D DO ANYTHING FOR HER.
OH, HELLO, CHARLEY.
WHERE'S AMY?
OH, OVER BY THE GATE. OH, I
- I MUST GO AND TELL HER THE NEWS.
I'VE DONE IT.
JACK, I'VE DONE IT!
DONE WHAT?
TOLD AMY EVERYTHING.
OH, YOU FOOL! WHAT FOR?
TOLD HER WHAT?
TOLD HER THAT I LOVE
HER. OH, IS THAT ALL?
IS THAT ALL? WHY, IT MADE
ME FEEL MOST PECULIAR.
BUT SHE SAYS I'VE GOT TO GET THE
OLD BOUNDER'S CONSENT IN WRITING.
ME TOO. I WONDER
IF THE OLD MISER CAN WRITE.
WELL, THERE'S ONLY
ONE THING TO DO ABOUT IT.
PSST. HEY!
AUNTIE!
DONNA LUCIA!
WHERE'S SPETTIGUE? ABOU A QUARTER OF A MILE BACK.
DID YOU TWO POP THE QUESTION YET?
AND THE ANSWERS WERE FAVORABLE.
GOOD. THEN I CAN TELL OLD SPETTIGUE WHAT I
THINK OF HIM. BUT YOU CAN'T TURN HIM DOWN.
WHAT? NO, YOU'VE GOT TO ACCEPT HIM.
NOW LOOK HERE, BABBS!
LOOK OUT!
GET OFF OF ME! BABBS,
YOU MUST BE REASONABLE.
I COULD NEVER BE HAPPY WITH A
MAN LIKE THAT. I WON'T ACCEPT!
ONLY TEMPORARILY. ONLY UNTIL YOU CAN GE WRITTEN CONSENT FOR THE GIRLS TO MARRY.
IF YOU TURN HIM DOWN, HE'LL NEVER
GIVE IT. JUST STRING HIM ALONG.
WHEN I HAVE TO USE MYSELF AS BAIT FOR
AN UNDERSIZED MACKEREL, THAT'S THE END!
OH!
OH, JACK! CHARLEY! WHATEVER'S
THE MATTER WITH YOUR AUNT?
SHH. SHE'S RESTING. YES, YES. SHE
- SHE HAS A STIFF BACK.
WE'VE BEEN GIVING HER A BIT OF A
TREATMENT. THE WEATHER, YOU KNOW.
IS THAT BETTER, AUNTIE? YES. NOW
I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NO BACK AT ALL.
OH, DONNA LUCIA! I SUPPOSE JACK
MENTIONED THE FAVOR WE WANT TO ASK OF YOU.
YES, HE DID SAY SOMETHING
ABOUT A LETTER OF CONSENT.
OH, AND YOU WILL GET I FOR US, WON'T YOU?
WELL, NOW, GIRLS,
I'M AFRAID I CAN'T.
OH, DONNA LUCIA!
OH, DONNA LUCIA!
HAVEN'T YOU EVER BEEN IN
LOVE? OH, DOZENS OF TIMES.
OH, I MEAN ONCE IN LOVE,
ALWAYS IN LOVE.
OH, THEN YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
IT MEANS TO US, DON'T YOU?
YES, GIRLS, BUT I DON'T THINK
- OF COURSE AUNTIE WILL GET IT. WON'T YOU, AUNTIE?
CHARLES, I TOLD YOU ONCE
- ? LITTLE BO PEEP HAS LOST HER SHEEP?
THAT I'LL BE DELIGHTED TO.
OH, YOU'RE AN ANGEL!
I KNEW YOU WOULD. THANK
YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
OH, YOU'RE
SO WONDERFUL.
OH, COME ALONG, AMY.
WE MUST FIND MR. SPETTIGUE.
HE'S DOWN THERE. OH, WE'LL
BRING HIM TO YOU AT ONCE.
IF YOU DON'T STOP
KISSING KITTY, I'LL-
AND NO MORE
LOVEY-DOVEY WITH AMY.
THERE'S A MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE
IN YOUR ROOMS, MILORD.
SEE? NOW LOOK
WHAT YOU GOT ME INTO!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
GET HIM, JACK!
WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?
I'M GONNA CHANGE MY CLOTHES AND BE WHAT NATURE INTENDED ME TO BE
- A MAN.
YOU CAN DO THAT AFTER
YOU TALK TO SPETTIGUE.
BUT I'VE GOT TO TAKE CARE OF MRS.
BEVERLY SMYTHE. YOU CAN DO BOTH.
GO MEET THIS WOMAN AND BE BACK
DOWN HERE AS SOON AS YOU CAN.
WE'LL KEEP SPETTIGUE OCCUPIED. IF THINGS GE HOT, I'LL TOSS SOME PEBBLES UP AT YOUR WINDOW.
AND IF YOU DON'T COME AT ONCE, THOSE
PEBBLES WILL BE FOLLOWED BY A ROCK.
COME ON.
LET'S FIND SPETTIGUE.
WHAT DID I EVER DO
TO DESERVE ALL THIS?
HOW DO YOU-
HOW DO YOU DO? I'M
LORD FANCOURT BABBERLY.
OH, AND I'M MRS. BEVERLY
SMYTHE. HOW DO YOU DO?
OH, PARDON ME FOR STARING,
BUT YOU AREN'T AT ALL
WHAT I EXPECTED TO FIND.
I THOUGHT I'D BE MET BY SOME
18-YEAR-OLD STUDENT INSTEAD OF-
WELL, OBVIOUSLY
A MAN OF THE WORLD.
I'M PLEASANTLY SURPRISED. WELL,
THAT'S AWFULLY NICE OF YOU.
NOW THAT WE'RE BEING FRANK, I HADN' PICTURED YOU THE WAY YOU ARE, EITHER.
YOU DON'T LOOK AT ALL LIKE A
CLIENT, YOU KNOW. OH, THANK YOU.
ARE YOU HERE ON BUSINESS, MRS. SMYTHE,
OR JUST A VISIT? NO, JUST A VISIT.
YOU SEE, ST. OLDE'S WAS MY
HUSBAND'S COLLEGE. MY LATE HUSBAND.
OH, YOURLATEHUSBAND?
OH, WELL, THAT'S FINE.
I MEAN, THAT'S FINE THAT HE WEN TO COLLEGE HERE. A SPLENDID PLACE.
YES, HE SPOKE SO HIGHLY OF IT. SO I DECIDED
TO COME HERE AND GET TO KNOW IT AS HE KNEW IT.
WELL, YOU COULDN' HAVE FOUND A BETTER ESCORT.
I'VE BEEN HERE
ON AND OFF FOR 10 YEARS.
YOU KNOW, I'M SO SORRY, MRS.
SMYTHE, I WAS OUT WHEN YOU ARRIVED.
I WAS WITH A COUPLE OF CHAPS
- CHESNEY AND WYKEHAM. OH.
BEING A BIT OLDER, I'M SOR OF A BIG BROTHER TO THEM.
THEY WANTED ME TO MEE THEIR FIANCEES.
AND AS A BIG BROTHER,
DID YOU APPROVE?
DEFINITELY. THEY'RE
LOVELY GIRLS, BOTH OF THEM.
OF COURSE, THEY'LL NEVER TURN OUT TO BE
AS CHARMING AND ATTRACTIVE AS YOU ARE.
I'M SORRY.
SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT.
NO. NO, YOU SHOULDN' HAVE SAID THAT.
BUT I FORGIVE YOU.
ANYONE EVER TELL YOU
ABOUT YOUR EYES?
SOMETHING'S COME OVER ME. MAY
I OFFER YOU A GLASS OF SHERRY?
OH, YOU CERTAINLY MAY. AND, UH,
WHAT WERE YOU SAYING ABOUT MY EYES?
THEY IMPRESS ME VERY MUCH.
BOTH OF THEM.
OH. OH.
BUT YOU TOLD ME
SHE WAS HERE.
BUT SHE WAS,
ONLY A MOMENT AGO.
OH, SHE'S PROBABLY GONE BACK TO YOUR
ROOMS. MAYBE I CAN FIND HER THERE.
NOW, YOU SIT RIGHT DOWN HERE, MR.
SPETTIGUE. YOU'RE TIRED ANYWAY.
AND I-I'M SURE SHE'LL BE
BACK IN A MOMENT. YEAH.
GOOD HEAVENS!
WHAT WAS THAT?
JUST A PASSING HAILSTORM. THINK NOTHING
OF IT. IT'LL BE OVER IN A MOMENT.
NOW, WHAT I'D LIKE TO
SUGGEST FOR THIS EVENING...
IS A CHARMING LITTLE RESTAURAN WITH A WONDERFUL VIEW OF THE RIVER.
OH!
OH, WHAT A
- WHAT A LARGE HAILSTONE! AND DANGEROUS TOO!
THAT REMINDS ME, I'VE GOT A LO OF CLOTHES HANGING OUT ON THE LINE.
I'D BETTER GET THEM IN
BEFORE THEY'RE RUINED.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT CLOTHES DOES TO
HAIL? I MEAN, TO HAIL TO CLOTHES.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
NOW, WAIT FOR ME.
I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR.
AREN'T THE SWEET PEAS LOVELY? YES.
MR. SPETTIGUE HAD SOME PLANTED AT HOME.
UNCLE LOVES FLOWERS.
YES.
LADIES, WOULD YOU,
UH, EXCUSE US?
YES, PLEASE.
OH, CERTAINLY.
COME ON.
HELP ME, WILL YOU?
EVERY TIME I PUT THESE CLOTHES
ON, THERE SEEM TO BE MORE OF THEM.
AH, DONNA LUCIA!
OH, MR. SPETTIGUE, THERE YOU ARE. YES.
I, UH- I COULDN'T FIND THE TEA,
SO ON THE WAY BACK...
I HAPPENED TO SEE THESE FLOWERS, AND
I JUST HAD TO STOP AND SMELL THEM.
OH, THEY ARE LOVELY.
YES.
WELL, NOW SHALL WE GO
BACK AND HAVE OUR TEA?
NOT JUST YET, STEPHEN.
OH, YOU DON'T WAN TO GO BACK?
WELL, PART OF ME
IS READY TO GO,
BUT PART OF ME MUST STAY.
I MEAN, MY HEAD SAYS GO,
MY HEART SAYS STAY,
AND MY FEET ARE UNDECIDED.
WHOA! MR. SPETTIGUE, I JUMP FOR
JOY WHENEVER I SEE YOUR FACE.
I JUMP AND JUMP
AND JUMP AND JUMP AND JUMP.
OH, I HAD NO IDEA
I MEANT SO MUCH TO YOU.
WELL, NOW THAT WE UNDERSTAND EACH
OTHER, I'D LIKE TO ASK A FAVOR OF YOU.
ANYTHING. ANYTHING!
I WANT YOU TO WRITE A LETTER GIVING
YOUR WARD AND NIECE CONSENT...
TO MARRY MY NEPHEW AND
MR. CHESNEY. OH, BUT-
THEY'RE SO MUCH IN LOVE.
STEPHEN, PLEASE, JUST FOR MY SAKE.
OH, BUT WHY? WHY SPEAK OF OTHER
LOVES WHEN WE HAVE OUR OWN?
BUT I CAN'T THINK OF MYSELF
UNTIL I SEE THOSE CHILDREN HAPPY.
VERY WELL. WE'LL
DISCUSS IT TONIGHT.
GOOD. NOW SHALL WE
- SHALL WE JOIN THE YOUNGSTERS FOR TEA?
YES, MY DARLING.
OH, STEPHEN.
OH, LUCIA.
KEEP THAT WOMAN IN MY ROOM.
DON'T LET HER GET OUT.
SON!
MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE,
I'M JACK CHESNEY,
A FRIEND OF BABBERLY'S.
HE WAS CALLED TO THE PROCTOR'S OFFICE,
SO HE ASKED ME TO COME UP AND EXPLAIN.
- THANK YOU.
- SAY, JACK-
OH, EXCUSE ME. WELL, SON,
WHY DON'T YOU INTRODUCE ME?
OH, MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE, MY
FATHER, SIR FRANCIS CHESNEY. OH.
I HOPE I'M NOT INTRUDING.
WELL, NOT AT ALL.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE TEA HERE WITH LORD
BABBERLY, BUT HE SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN DETAINED.
WHAT A SHAME. WELL, THE OTHERS
ARE HAVING TEA IN THE GARDEN.
WHY DON'T WE THREE
JOIN THEM? OH, NO. NO.
I'M SURE MRS. BEVERLY
SMYTHE WOULDN'T ENJOY IT.
JUST TWO SILLY GIRLS AND CHARLEY
WYKEHAM'S OLD AUNT FROM BRAZIL.
AN- AN OLD AUN FROM BRAZIL?
- YES.
- OH.
WELL, UH, WHAT SOR OF A- A LADY IS SHE?
OH, A HORRIBLE OLD THING. OH, REALLY?
WELL, I MUST SEE HER.
I SPENT A LITTLE TIME IN BRAZIL MYSELF.
WE SHOULD HAVE A GREAT DEAL IN COMMON.
OH, BUT I- I'M SURE
YOU WON'T LIKE HER.
NONSENSE. I CAN'T WAIT TO
MEET HER. SIR FRANCIS? MADAM.
THANK YOU. YOU KNOW, I'M QUITE
CHARMED WITH YOUR TOWN OF OXFORD HERE.
I HOPE YOU SHALL ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU
AROUND. I'D BE VERY GRATEFUL TO YOU.
MY DEAR.
THANK YOU.
WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY. ALL OF US
BEING TOGETHER. I HATE TO SEE IT END.
OH, BUT IT SHAN'T, MY DEAR.
NOW, I HAVE A CAPITAL IDEA.
WE SHALL ALL DINE
AT MY HOUSE THIS EVENING.
AND WE'LL STEAL AWAY
AND BE ALONE TOGETHER.
THAT WILL BE HEAVEN.
DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ,
MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE.
HOW DO YOU DO?
D'ALVADOREZ. OF COURSE.
UH, I KNEW YOUR LATE
HUSBAND INTIMATELY.
OH. OH, SHE KNEW MY LATE
HUSBAND INTIMATELY.
WELL, YOU TWO SHOULD
GET ALONG FAMOUSLY.
YES.
YES, YOUR HUSBAND AND I-
WELL, NOW, PLEASE, PLEASE,
I'D MUCH RATHER NOT DISCUSS IT.
YOU SEE, THAT'S ONE SUBJEC I JUST CAN'T TALK ABOUT.
I JUST- I JUST CAN'T-
OH! OH, I'M SO SORRY.
HOW MANY SUGARS?
I MEAN- I MEAN-
OH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
OH, DARLING AUNTIE!
BRASSETT! WATER!
SOME BURNT FEATHERS, BRASSETT. BRANDY!
SHE'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
MY DEAR DONNA LUCIA, WILL YOU
SIT HERE AT THE HEAD OF THE TABLE?
AND MAY YOU GRACE I ALWAYS FROM NOW ON.
THANK YOU.
IT WAS SO KIND OF YOU TO ASK ME
HERE THIS EVENING, MR. SPETTIGUE.
IT WAS A VERY, VERY GREAT PLEASURE,
I ASSURE YOU, MY DEAR LADY.
IF YOU HADN'T, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE.
STILL BE WAITING
FOR LORD BABBERLY, I IMAGINE.
HE MUST BE A VERY ILL-MANNERED
YOUNG MAN, DESERTING YOU LIKE THIS.
NOW, I WOULDN'T BE TOO HARSH ON THE BOY.
HE WAS PROBABLY UNAVOIDABLY DETAINED.
I STILL THINK IT WAS
INEXCUSABLY BOORISH OF HIM.
YOU DO, DO YOU?
WELL, WHEN MY NEPHEW INTRODUCED
ME TO HIM THIS AFTERNOON,
I FOUND HIM TO BE A MAN
OF GREAT CHARM, CULTURE,
INTELLIGENCE, CHIVALRY, WIT,
AFFECTION AND UNDERSTANDING.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I WAS NEVER QUITE
SO IMPRESSED WITH ANYONE IN ALL MY LIFE.
AND I'D RATHER NOT HEAR
ANOTHER WORD AGAINST HIM!
I SAY, DO YOU THINK WE'LL WIN FROM
CAMBRIDGE AT CRICKET NEXT WEEK, CHARLEY, EH?
OH, WE CAN'T LOSE, OLD BOY,
WITH SPICKENS AT THE WICKET.
SPICKENS IS A GOOD MAN.
IT'S TOO BAD IT'S HIS LAST YEAR.
DID YOU SEE HIM AT THE NETS
YESTERDAY? OH, MARVELOUS, MARVELOUS.
EXTRAORDINARY FORM.
OH, MR. SPETTIGUE, I IMAGINE
YOU WERE QUITE A CRICKET PLAYER.
OH, QUITE, QUITE, YES.
I PLAYED A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF
CRICKET. AND BOWLED, YOU KNOW.
BOWLED? REALLY?
THAT SOUNDS LIKE GOOD FUN.
AMAZING.
ANCIENT GAME.
YES, IT'S VERY FUN. I THINK I'VE
SEEN SOME PHOTOGRAPHS OF YOU.
WELL
- YES, I THINK IT IS TIME THE LADIES WERE RETIRING...
TO THE DRAWING ROOM AND LEAVE
THE GENTLEMEN TO THEIR PORT.
THANK YOU.
JUST A MOMENT. MR. CHESNEY WAS
ASKING ME SOMETHING ABOUT BRAZIL.
WAS I? YES, AND I'M SO
GLAD YOU ASKED ME THAT.
NOW, BRAZIL-
BRAZIL IS THE MOST BRAZILIAN
PLACE IN ALL OF SOUTH AMERICA.
IT HAS ITS, UH,
RIVERS AND LAKES,
HILLS AND DALES,
CITIES AND COUNTRIES,
DAYS AND NIGHTS, AND
AFTERNOONS TOO, OF COURSE.
DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR
QUESTION? YES. YES.
- UH, CHARLES, PLEASE HELP ME.
- OH, OF COURSE, AUNTIE.
OOH, AUNTIE,
TELL THEM ALL ABOUT YOUR
COFFEE PLANTATION IN BRAZIL.
OH.
YES. YES, PLEASE
DO TELL US.
I WANT TO HEAR
ALL ABOUT IT.
WELL, UH, YOU KNOW
WHAT COFFEE IS, OF COURSE.
AND, UH- AND YOU KNOW
WHAT A PLANTATION IS.
WELL, UH, WE HAD
A COFFEE PLANTATION.
DONNA LUCIA, DO YOU PREFER
THE MOCACA COFFEE TO THE PINHAL?
THE, UH, MOCACA COFFEE?
WELL, YES, YES.
WITH A LITTLE SUGAR.
AND IT'S DELIGHTFUL
WHEN SERVED PIPING HOT.
I CAN HELP YOU NOW,
AUNTIE. THANK YOU, CHARLES.
AMY-
THANK YOU.
AND THEN- THEN THERE'S-
THERE'S ANOTHER KIND OF COFFEE.
THIS COFFEE IS GROWN
FROM SEED ON WET FLANNEL.
OH, MY DEAR, TIMES
ARE MOVING SO FAST NOW.
IT'LL BE IN BEFORE YOU KNOW
IT. SUCH A WORLD WE LIVE IN.
YOU KNOW, I HAVE A DRESSMAKER WHO
MADE THIS DRESS IN SIX WEEKS...
WITH ONE OF THOSE NEW
SEWING MACHINE ATTACHMENTS.
REALLY?
THEY SEEM TO BE
TELLING STORIES.
PSST. PSST. CHARLEY.
OH, YES, AUNTIE?
EXCUSE ME.
WHICH ONE ARE THEY TELLING?
OH, THAT ONE.
ARE YOU GOING TO JOIN US,
MR. WYKEHAM?
OH, NO. I JUST CAME TO SEE IF MY AUN HERE WAS ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WELL, IF THEY CAN TELL STORIES,
I DON'T SEE WHY WE CAN'T.
I KNOW ONE. OF COURSE,
IT'S A TRIFLE NAUGHTY.
OH, REALLY?
WELL, PLEASE TELL IT.
YES. YES, DO TELL IT. THIS IS
ONE THAT DON PEDRO USED TO TELL.
PERHAPS DONNA LUCIA WOULD
PREFER TO TELL IT HERSELF.
TOM PEDRO?
DON PEDRO D'ALVADOREZ,
YOUR LATE HUSBAND.
OH, DON.
DON PEDRO, OF COURSE.
I KNEW HIS NAME.
I CAN'T REMEMBER HIS STORIES.
OH, PLEASE GO ON. I'M SURE
DONNA LUCIA WON'T MIND.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NOT AT ALL.
IT SEEMS AS THOUGH DON PEDRO WAS WALKING
THROUGH HIS COFFEE FIELDS ONE DAY...
WHEN HE CAME ACROSS ONE OF
HIS WORKMEN WHO WAS TIPSY.
THE MAN HAD A GIRL IN HIS
ARMS, AND HE WAS KISSING HER.
OH. WELL, NATURALLY
DON PEDRO WAS FURIOUS,
AND HE SAID,
"HOW DARE YOU?"
AND THE MAN SAID, "WHAT'S THE
MATTER? ALL YOUR WORKMEN DO THIS."
AND DON PEDRO SAID, "HOW CAN
YOU MAKE A STATEMENT LIKE THAT?
WHAT GROUNDS
DO YOU HAVE?"
AND THE MAN SAID,
"COFFEE GROUNDS."
OH, WHAT A NAUGHTY STORY.
SILLIEST THING
I'VE EVER HEARD.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER
THE STORY, DONNA LUCIA?
IT WAS ONE OF DON PEDRO'S
FAVORITES.
OH, PERFECTLY. I SHRIEKED
THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT.
YOU KNOW, THAT REMINDS ME
OF A VERY FUNNY STORY.
ONE OF YOU GIRLS
PLAY SOMETHING.
WELL, NOW, GENTLEMEN,
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I'M GOING TO SHOW
DONNA LUCIA THE GARDEN.
YOU'VE NO IDEA HOW BEAUTIFUL
IT IS IN THE MOONLIGHT.
OH, DONNA LUCIA,
WE ARE ALONE AT LAST.
DON'T TOUCH ME! I'M
VERY, VERY ANGRY WITH YOU.
LUCIA, YOU WOUND ME. DON' SAY THAT. WELL, I DO SAY IT.
AFTER THE WAY YOU PROMISED
ME, TO TREAT ME LIKE THIS!
PROMISE? YES, THE CONSEN YOU PROMISED ME IN WRITING.
BUT I DIDN'T PROMISE.
WHY, STEPHEN! TO THINK THA YOU'D GO BACK ON YOUR WORD.
OH, DONNA LUCIA!
THAT'LL DO YOU NO GOOD UNTIL I
GET THE LETTER. BUT, MY DEAREST-
STEPHEN, UNTIL YOU GIVE ME THA LETTER, ALL IS OVER BETWEEN US.
NO. NO.
WE CAN NEVER BE APART.
THERE IS SOME UNSEEN SOMETHING
THAT BINDS US TOGETHER.
WELL, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. JUS THE SAME, I WANT THAT LETTER.
VERY WELL, DEAR. I'LL GO
TO MY STUDY AND WRITE IT.
BUT THEN
- THEN WILL YOU SAY THAT YOU'LL BE MINE?
I'LL SAY ANYTHING YOU LIKE WHEN
I GET THE LETTER. DARLING! OH!
IF YOU LOOK,
YOU'RE NO GENTLEMAN!
NOW YOU MAY HELP ME UP.
OH, A THOUSAND PARDONS,
DEAREST LUCIA.
TELL ME,
DID YOU HURT YOUR BACK?
MY BACK IS FINE.
NOW, GO WRITE THE LETTER.
I WON'T BE A MOMENT.
DARLING!
ARE YOU ALONE?
MAY I SIT DOWN, PLEASE?
MY, WHAT A DREADFUL SMELL
OF SMOKE THERE IS IN HERE!
YES, I NOTICED IT MYSELF. MUST BE
SOMETHING BURNING IN THE KITCHEN.
I'LL GO SEE WHAT IT IS.
NO, DON'T GO.
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOU YOUR LATE HUSBAND, DON PEDRO.
OH, LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT HIM.
HE WAS SUCH A CRUEL HUSBAND.
THE DON PEDRO I KNEW
WAS SO KIND.
OH, THAT'S HIS FATHER,
THEOLDPEDRO, THE ONE WITH THE BEARD.
OH. OH, FORGIVE MY CURIOSITY,
BUT HAVE YOU ANY CHILDREN?
CHILDREN? ONLY A FEW.
NONE TO SPEAK OF.
OH, DONNA LUCIA, I'M SURPRISED THAT YOU
HAVEN'T ACQUIRED THE HABIT OF SMOKING.
SO MANY BRAZILIAN WOMEN
HAVE, YOU KNOW.
WELL, CONFIDENTIALLY, I WAS JUS PUFFING ON A PERFECTO WHEN YOU CAME IN.
I THOUGHT YOU MIGH NOT UNDERSTAND, SO I, UH-
WOULD YOU CARE FOR ONE?
THEY'RE VERY MILD, YOU KNOW.
OH, NO.
NO, THANK YOU.
WELL, YOU- YOU DON' KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING.
- OH, LORD BABBERLY?
YES?
OH, IS HE HERE TOO?
OH, IT'S NO USE.
LORD BABBERLY, I'VE KNOWN
WHO YOU WERE FOR HOURS.
OH, MY GOODNESS. YOU WON' GIVE ME AWAY, WILL YOU?
THAT ALL DEPENDS. BUT THIS WASN' MY IDEA. YOU MUST BELIEVE ME.
THIS WHOLE THING
STARTED WITH SHEEP.
I MEAN, WHEN JACK AND CHARLEY
INVITED THE GIRLS TO LUNCHEON.
OH, IT'S SUCH A LONG STORY. CAN'T WE GO
SOMEPLACE WHERE WE WON'T BE INTERRUPTED?
OH, OF COURSE.
PARDON ME.
LADIES FIRST.
SO JACK LOVES KITTY,
AND AMY LOVES CHARLEY,
AND I'M PLAYING CUPID IN THREE
PETTICOATS, AND THAT'S THE WHOLE STORY.
MAYBE YOU'RE NOT DOING THEM
AS GREAT A FAVOR AS YOU THINK.
I'M GETTING THEM A LETTER OF
CONSENT. WHAT MORE DO THEY WANT?
PERHAPS THIS LETTER OF
CONSENT IS MERELY A PRETENSE.
AFTER ALL, MR. SPETTIGUE IS
OBVIOUSLY A FORTUNE HUNTER.
PERHAPS THE GIRLS
ARE AFTER MONEY TOO.
WELL, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. MR.
SPETTIGUE WAS AGAINST THE MARRIAGES.
OH! OH, HE WAS?
OF COURSE. THE MOMENT LOVE FLIES
IN THE WINDOW, HIS INCOME FLIES OUT.
THE ONLY REASON HE'S CONSENTING IS BECAUSE HE
THINKS HE'S GONNA MAKE MORE MONEY BY MARRYING ME.
OH, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT.
I HAVE OTHER PLANS FOR YOU.
YOU HAVE?
YES. WHEN YOU JOIN YOUR
UNCLE'S FIRM IN THE FALL,
I SHALL INSIST THAT YOU
HANDLE MY AFFAIRS.
WELL- WELL.
IN ALL DEFERENCE TO YOUR UNCLE,
I THINK IT MIGHT BE RATHER FUN...
TO HAVE AN ATTORNEY WHO THOUGH SOMETHING MORE OF LOVE'S YOUNG DREAM...
THAN JUST A-
A FUTURE ALIMONY CASE.
DO YOU SOLEMNLY PROMISE
TO BE MY FIRST CLIENT?
I DO.
WELL, TELL ME,
DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE
AT FIRST CLIENT?
OH, YOU DO?
I DO.
DONNA LUCIA!
DONNA LUCIA!
DO YOU REALLY MEAN IT?
BUT OF COURSE I DO,
YOU SILLY BOY.
WHY, I HEARD SOMETHING.
IT'S MY HEART. IT MAKES AN
AWFUL RACKET WHEN I'M WITH YOU.
OH.
LET ME BE THE FIRS TO CONGRATULATE YOU, SIR.
THEN YOU KNOW?
YES, I KNOW.
OH.
THANK YOU.
DONNA LUCIA!
THERE'S THAT MOOSE
CALLING TO ITS MATE.
YOU'D BETTER GO AND GET THA LETTER BEFORE HE CHANGES HIS MIND.
AS SOON AS I GET THROUGH WITH SPETTIGUE,
I'LL COME BACK AND TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF.
WHAT?
I MEAN, THESE CLOTHES OFF.
STEPHEN!
WHA-
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I'VE BEEN
LOOKING HIGH AND LOW FOR YOU.
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY,
MY SWEET.
CHILDREN! AMY!
KITTY! MRS. SMYTHE!
IS THAT THE LETTER?
YES. BUT FIRST-
FIRST LET US SEAL OUR
BETROTHAL WITH A KISS.
A KISS?
YES.
NO. NO, NO, NO.
YES. YES.
NO. I'VE BEEN DRINKING.
I DON'T MIND. JUST ONE.
STEPHEN, NO. WE'RE TOO OLD FOR
THAT SORT OF THING. OLD? NEVER!
NOW, STEPHEN
- WHEN LOVE CONSUMES YOU, YOU ARE AGELESS.
JUST ONE. JUST ONE
LITTLE, TEENY-WEENY ONE.
VERY WELL.
CLOSE YOUR EYES.
AND KEEP 'EM CLOSED.
YES, DEAR.
NOW GIVE ME THE LETTER.
THERE IT IS. JUST ONE MORE.
NO, NO! NO MORE, STEPHEN!
NO MORE! NO MORE!
YOU CALLED, UNCLE? OH, YES, MY
DEARS. I HAVE GREAT NEWS FOR YOU.
BUT WHERE
- WHERE IS MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE? AH, HERE. HERE YOU ARE.
I WANTED YOU ALL PRESENT TO
SHARE MY SECRET AND MY HAPPINESS.
MY
- OH, DONNA LUCIA, JUST TO THINK OF IT MAKES MY HEART POUND AND POUND.
NOW, STEPHEN, REMEMBER
THERE ARE OTHERS PRESENT.
OH, I'M SORRY, DEAR.
WELL, YOU SHOULD BE.
YES. IT'S JUST THAT LOVE HAS
MADE AN AUDACIOUS BOY OF ME AGAIN.
AND, CHILDREN, CUPID
HAS FOUND ANOTHER VICTIM.
A GOOD FAIRY
HAS TRIPPED IN AMONG US,
BRINGING WITH HER
UNEXPECTED LIGHT AND JOY.
OH, MY DARLING, JUS TO FEEL YOUR GENTLE TOUCH-
PLEASE, STEPHEN, WE'RE NO ON OUR HONEYMOON YET.
I'VE BEEN DUPED.
YOU- YOU IMPOSTOR!
WHO ARE YOU?
I'M CHARLEY'S NUT FROM BRAZIL
WHERE THE AUNTS COME FROM.
WHAT? GIVE ME THAT LETTER! NO!
GIVE ME THAT LETTER! GIVE I TO ME! NO! NO, NO, STEPHEN!
VERY WELL, KEEP IT.
IT'LL DO YOU NO GOOD.
THERE'S NOT A COURT OF LAW IN
ALL ENGLAND THAT WILL UPHOLD IT...
BECAUSE IT'S ADDRESSED
TO DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ!
AND HAS BEEN DELIVERED TO DONNA LUCIA
D'ALVADOREZ. BUT HE ISN'T DONNA LUCIA!
NO, BUT I AM.
YOU- OH!
YOU? MY AUNT?
YES, CHARLEY.
YOU?
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY
ABOUT ALL THIS, AUNTIE.
IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT. I DID MY SHARE
OF DECEIVING TOO. WILL YOU FORGIVE ME?
WELL, OF COURSE. WELL, THANK GOODNESS I
SHAN'T HAVE TO CALL YOU AUNTIE ANYMORE.
NO, BUT YOU MIGHT BE
CALLING ME UNCLE PRETTY SOON.
MY KITTY!
MY JACK!
MY CHARLEY!
MY AMY!
MY LUCY!
MY BABBSIE!
MY INCOME.
SAY, I WONDER IF HE CAN SUE ME
FOR BREACH OF PROMISE.
MR. REDCLIFFE.
OH, GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. REDCLIFFE.
JUST IN TIME FOR TEA, SIR.
WE HAVE A SERVING AS SOON
AS THE BELL STRIKES 4:00.
SPLENDID, BRASSETT.
I SAY, WHAT'S THE SCORE?
WE'VE GOT 12
TO THEIR 88, SIR.
OH. NIP AND TUCK, EH?
OH, YES, SIR. VERY CLOSE.
GOOD,
HARD-FOUGHT BATTLE.
OUR INNINGS, EH? WHO'S
BATTING? LORD FANCOURT BABBERLY.
YOU'RE RATHER FUNNY
THIS AFTERNOON.
NOW, DON'T GET ANGRY,
MOTHER.
DON'T "MOTHER" ME. I'M SORRY.
I WAS ONLY REHEARSING MY LINES.
AFTER ALL, YOU ARE MY MOTHER
IN THE VARSITY PLAY, AREN'T YOU?
AND THAT'S WHERE
IT ENDS, SIR.
ALL RIGHT,
IF YOU'RE GOING TO QUIBBLE.
IT SEEMS TO BE
COMING THIS WAY.
SOMEBODY GET SOME WATER.
LET ME HELP.
OH, I'M FRIGHTFULLY SORRY,
MR. REDCLIFFE. ARE YOU HURT?
THAT IS ONE OF THE SILLIEST QUESTIONS
I'VE EVER HEARD FROM A STUDENT.
YOU HIT ME ON THE HEAD
WITH A HARD CRICKET BALL,
CREATING A CONDITION OF
TORTICOLLIS- A STIFF NECK, TO YOU-
THEN YOU ASK ME
WHETHER I'M HURT.
WELL, I ASSURE YOU, I WAS ENTIRELY ACCIDENTAL.
JUST A LUCKY HIT.
THAT'S ALL. I MEAN A-
BABBS, I THINK YOU'D
BETTER GO BACK TO THE GAME.
YES, BEFORE
YOU SAY ANYTHING MORE.
AM I HURT.
DO YOU REALIZE, BRASSETT, SOMEDAY THA YOUNG IDIOT WILL SIT IN THE HOUSE OF LORDS?
YES, SIR.
GOD SAVE THE QUEEN.
DON'T LET I UNNERVE YOU, OLD MAN.
COME ON, BABBS. HIT UP
SOME SIXES. YOU CAN DO IT.
VERY WELL.
LOOK. THERE ARE
THE GIRLS.
YES, BUT OLD SPETTIGUE
IS WITH THEM.
WHAT'S THE SCORE NOW?
THAT GIVES US 60
TO THEIR 88.
JOVE. THAT MAKES IT CLOSE,
DOESN'T IT? IT DOES, RATHER, YES.
TEA!
GOOD OLD TEA.
GOOD ON YOU, BABBS.
GREAT HITTING. WELL PLAYED,
BABBS. WELL PLAYED, BABBS.
SUGAR, OLD MAN?
WHERE'S OLD REDCLIFFE?
MAYBE IF I BROUGHT HIM SOME TEA, HE'D
CALM DOWN A BIT. HE'S OVER THERE, BABBS.
OH, YES.
THANK YOU-
I'M EXCEEDINGLY SORRY, SIR.
ANOTHER LUCKY HIT, EH?
YES, SIR.
I MEAN, NO, SIR.
I RATHER LIKE FIRES, DON'T YOU? RATHER.
NOTHING LIKE A JOLLY
OLD FIRE, I ALWAYS SAY.
OH, THAT'S INTERESTING.
I'VE ALWAYS HAD A BIT OF A
PASSION FOR THEM MYSELF. REALLY?
WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE
HAVE ANOTHER SPOT OF TEA...
AND SEE WHAT'S BURNING?
OH, PERFECT.
LORD BABBERLY.
LORD BABBERLY!
HUH?
WHAT HAPPENED?
THAT IS WHAT I INTEND
TO FIND OUT IN MY STUDY...
AT HALF-PAST 10:00
IN THE MORNING.
DISGRACEFUL CONDUCT.
WORST STUDENT AT OXFORD.
DARLING KITTY-
MY DEAR KITTY.
DARLING KITTY.
KITTY, MY DARLING, I-
WANT SOMETHING, BABBS?
NO, NO. I JUST CAME
TO BORROW MY WHITE TIE...
YOU BORROWED FROM ME
LAST NOVEMBER.
DO YOU MIND?
I SHAN'T KEEP IT LONG.
NO, NOT AT ALL, MAN.
GO RIGHT AHEAD.
IT'S THE ONE
WITH THE CHERRY STAIN ON IT.
KITTY, MY DARLING.
I SAY, JACK, WHERE
DO YOU KEEP MY TIES?
PLEASE, BABBS.
I'M THINKING.
I'M TRYING TO PU A SPEECH TOGETHER.
AND I'M TRYING TO PUT MYSELF
TOGETHER. WHERE'S MY TIE?
KITTY, MY DARLING.
IN ALL THIS WORLD, THERE
IS NO ONE QUITE LIKE YOU.
FLATTERY WON'T HELP YOU ANY.
I WANT MY TIE.
OH, I WASN'T SPEAKING TO
YOU. I'M REHEARSING A SPEECH.
KITTY'S COMING TO LUNCH, AND I'VE
GOT TO PROPOSE TO HER DIRECTLY AFTER.
THAT'S ALL VERY INTERESTING,
BUT I WANT MY TIE.
I'VE GOT TO WORK FAST.
OLD SPETTIGUE'S TAKING KITTY
AND AMY OFF TO SCOTLAND TONIGHT.
HE WANTS TO GET THEM
AWAY FROM CHARLEY AND ME.
WHAT'S THE MATTER? AFRAID YOU WON' MARRY THEM? NO, HE'S AFRAID THAT WE WILL.
YOU SEE, HE'S THEIR GUARDIAN.
GETS A SALARY FOR IT.
AS SOON AS THEY MARRY,
HIS INCOME STOPS.
AND THERE'S MY BAG.
I KNEW I DIDN'T PAWN IT.
IF YOU DON'T MIND, OLD MAN, I
THINK I'LL KEEP IT A LITTLE LONGER.
I'M GOING AWAY NEXT WEEKEND. SO AM I.
OH, NOW, DON'T BE A BOUNDER,
BABBS. WE'LL TOSS A COIN FOR IT.
HELLO.
OH, HELLO, CHARLEY.
HAVE YOU MET YOUR AUN ALREADY? NO, I'M ON MY WAY NOW.
I DREAD IT. IT'S BAD ENOUGH
MEETING AN AUNT YOU KNOW,
BUT TO MEET ONE YOU DON'T KNOW-
HER NAME'S ENOUGH TO SCARE ME-
- DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ.
- THAT'S NOT AN AUNT. THAT'S A CIGAR.
IMAGINE. HE DOESN'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE.
IT'S NOT MY FAULT. SHE WEN TO BRAZIL BEFORE I WAS BORN.
BE PREPARED, CHARLEY.
SHE'S PROBABLY A HIDEOUS OLD
LADY WITH SUFFRAGETTE TENDENCIES.
I WOULDN'T EVEN BOTHER
MEETING HER.
WELL, HIDEOUS OR NOT,
SHE DID ALL RIGHT DOWN THERE.
MARRIED SOME BRAZILIAN
ON HIS DEATHBED...
AND CAME AWAY WITH MILLIONS.
MILLIONS?
WHY, CHARLEY, WHAT ARE YOU
STANDING HERE FOR?
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE I IF YOU WERE A LITTLE OLD LADY...
AND HAD TO WAI AT THE STATION ALL ALONE?
GO AND FETCH HER, CHARLEY.
THERE'S PLENTY OF TIME.
OH, IS THERE? NOW, MIND
YOU, DON'T MISS HER.
YOU KNOW HOW STRIC KITTY AND AMY ARE.
IF YOUR AUNT ISN'T THERE TO
CHAPERONE THEM, NO LUNCHEON.
DON'T WORRY. I WON' MISS HER. OH, I SAY, JACK.
DO YOU MIND IF I BORROW
A FEW OF THESE?
I'M EXPECTING SOME FRIENDS IN THIS
AFTERNOON. OH, I'M SORRY, BABBS,
BUT WE'LL NEED EVERY
DROP FOR LUNCHEON.
OH, THAT REMINDS ME.
I'VE GOT TO BE CHANGING.
WELL, THAT'S GRATITUDE-
BORROWS MY TIES AND MY SWEATERS.
THE MOMENT I ASK FOR A FEW
BOTTLES OF CHAMPAGNE-
YES, BRASSETT? I JUST RAN
INTO MR. WIGGINS, MILORD.
HE'D LIKE YOU TO STOP BY HIS SHOP
AND TRY ON YOUR VARSITY SHOW COSTUME.
OH, I HAVEN'T TIME FOR THA NOW. I TELL YOU WHAT YOU DO.
YOU GO FETCH THE COSTUME, BRING I TO MY ROOMS, AND I'LL TRY IT ON LATER.
IT'S A BIT OF A DISTANCE,
MILORD, WITH A BUNDLE.
I'M AFRAID I'LL HAVE
TO TAKE A CAB.
OH, A CAB. OF COURSE.
A CAB. UH, JUST A MOMENT. I'LL GET IT.
OH, I SAY, CHARLEY. COULD YOU
LEND ME A HALF CROWN, PLEASE?
SORRY, BABBS. I'M FLAT.
I'LL GET IT FOR YOU THOUGH.
JACK?
HMM?
HAVE YOU, UH,
HALF A CROWN?
NOT A HA'PENNY.
JUST A MOMENT.
LEND ME HALF A CROWN, WILL
YOU, BRASSETT? CERTAINLY, SIR.
THANK YOU.
HERE YOU ARE, CHARLEY.
OH, THANKS, OLD MAN.
HERE WE ARE. THANK YOU,
CHARLEY. AWFULLY DECENT OF YOU.
THE CAB WILL BE TWO SHILLINGS.
KEEP THE CHANGE, BRASSETT.
OH, THANK YOU, MILORD.
THANK YOU.
THERE YOU ARE.
OH, BUT THAT'S
SUCH A BOTHER, SIR.
NO BOTHER AT ALL.
"ENTERED ST. OLDE'S COLLEGE,
MICHAELMAS TERM, 1880."
SO FAR YOUR RECORD IS MOS ADMIRABLE. THANK YOU, SIR.
LET'S SEE NOW.
MY WORD.
YOU'VE BEEN HERE
A LONG TIME.
HOPE YOU REALIZE THERE'S
A REGULATION...
WHICH SAYS A STUDEN MAY COMPLETE THE COURSE...
IN NOT LESS THAN THREE YEARS
AND NOT MORE THAN 15.
BUT I'M ONLY IN
MY TENTH YEAR, SIR.
WHAT IS THIS?
OH, I DIDN'T KNOW
SHE WAS MARRIED, SIR.
WHEN I SAID YOU WERE TO
BE RUSTICATED, I WAS WRONG.
THANK YOU, SIR. YOU, SIR, ARE NO
LONGER A MEMBER OF THIS UNIVERSITY.
YOU'RE EXPELLED!
EXPELLED?
OH, BUT PLEASE, SIR.
I MUST GET MY DEGREE.
YOU SEE, I'M DUE TO JOIN
MY UNCLE'S FIRM IN THE FALL-
HOGARTH, HAWKS AND BABBERLY-
THE FAMOUS LONDON SOLICITORS.
THEY'VE HANDLED SEVERAL
SENSATIONAL MURDER TRIALS,
AND I'M SURE, MR. REDCLIFFE, IF YOU
EVER HAVE OCCASION TO COMMIT MURDER,
I CAN GET THEM
TO HANDLE YOUR CASE.
YOU CANNOT BRIBE ME, SIR. LORD
BABBERLY, YOU'RE EXPELLED. OH, NO, SIR.
THEY WON'T TAKE ME IN
WITHOUT AN OXFORD DEGREE.
IT'S TRADITION,
YOU KNOW.
YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF ALL
THAT BEFORE YOU RANG THE FIRE BELL.
BUT I DIDN' DO IT PURPOSELY.
I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS.
I WAS UNCONSCIOUS.
JUDGING FROM YOUR SCHOLASTIC
RECORD, I SHOULD THINK IT...
EXTREMELY DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO DETERMINE
WHETHER YOU WERE UNCONSCIOUS OR NOT.
I ASSURE YOU, SIR,
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
I TRIPPED.
I- I HAVE WITNESSES.
AND WHO ARE THE WITNESSES?
WELL, CHARLES WYKEHAM
AND JACK CHESNEY.
WYKEHAM AND CHESNEY? THEY'RE
TWO VERY REPUTABLE GENTLEMEN.
WILL THEY TESTIFY TO THAT?
OH, I'M SURE THEY WILL, SIR.
THEY WERE RIGHT THERE
WHEN IT HAPPENED,
AND I KNOW I CAN
REFRESH THEIR MEMORY.
VERY WELL. BRING THEM HERE A HALF-PAST 10:00 IN THE MORNING.
IF THEY CORROBORATE YOUR
STORY, I'LL RECONSIDER. IF NOT-
OH, THANK YOU, SIR. THANK
YOU SO MUCH. GOOD DAY.
GOOD DAY, SIR.
GOOD DAY.
DID HE SAY 10:00
OR HALF-PAST?
MY NECK!
SO AS YOUR SOLICITOR, DONNA
LUCIA, I THOUGHT IT ONLY FAIR...
TO ACQUAINT YOU WITH THE
FACTS. AND I'M MOST GRATEFUL.
OF COURSE, I DON'T MIND
CHARLEY FALLING IN LOVE,
BUT AS HIS ONLY LIVING RELATIVE,
I DO HOPE IT'S THE RIGHT GIRL.
EXACTLY. NOW, I DON'T SAY THAT THE
GIRL IS A FORTUNE-HUNTER, MIND YOU,
BUT I WOULDN'T PUT I BEYOND HER GUARDIAN.
MR. SPETTIGUE'S REPUTATION
IS NONE TOO SAVORY.
IF I COULD ONLY
MEET THE YOUNG LADY...
AND JUDGE FOR MYSELF, I'D-
- SUPPOSE I WENT INCOGNITO?
- SPLENDID.
YES, BUT HOW WOULD I
GET ABOUT UNESCORTED?
OH, I CAN FIX THAT.
I'LL GIVE YOU A LETTER TO MY
NEPHEW, LORD FANCOURT BABBERLY,
AND ASK HIM TO SHOW YOU
AROUND OXFORD.
YES?
OH, NO. NO.
- NO?
- NO, THAT WON'T DO.
HE'S A FRIEND OF CHARLEY'S
AND HE MIGHT WARN HIM.
BUT DON'T TELL HIM WHO
I AM. SAY THAT I'M, UH-
I'M, UH,
MRS. BEVERLY SMITH.
RIPPING! OH-
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WELL, I'M JUST THINKING-
"SMITH. SMITH."
RATHER AN ORDINARY NAME...
FOR A FIRM OF OUR REPUTATION TO
BE CONNECTED WITH, DON'T YOU THINK?
WELL, HOW ABOU MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE?
OH, NOW-
NOW, THAT'S MUCH BETTER.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
OH, JACK?
I SAY, JACK?
OH, JACK?
HELLO, CHARLEY.
DID YOU MEET MY UNCLE?
I MEAN, YOUR AUNT?
NO. SHE WASN'T ON THE
11:00. WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD.
I HOPE SHE, UH-
I HOPE SHE ISN'T LOST.
SHE'LL PROBABLY BE IN
ON THE 12:15.
NOW, BABBS, THAT'S NO VERY SPORTING OF YOU.
YOU SAID I MIGHT KEEP I OVER THE WEEKEND. I DID NOT.
AND BESIDES, I WANT TO HAVE MY INITIALS
PUT ON IT. THAT CAN WAIT TILL MONDAY.
JACK, LOOK OUT!
THAT'S MY BAG.
CHARLEY, THAT'S MY BAG.
LOOK OUT.
I OUGHT TO BASH
YOUR CRUMPET.
YOU MIGHT HAVE
CRACKED THE LEATHER.
I SAY, YOU ARE IN A TEMPER. WHA HAPPENED? DID OLD REDCLIFFE FINE YOU?
FINE ME? HE'S GONNA SEND ME DOWN. WHAT?
YOU'D THINK YOUNG STAFFORD WOULD BE SPOR ENOUGH TO ADMIT HE'D KNOCKED YOU OUT.
HE DIDN'T KNOCK ME OUT.
I TRIPPED-
AND I'VE GOT WITNESSES
TO PROVE IT. REALLY? WHO?
YOU AND CHARLEY.
ME?
I WASN'T ANYWHERE NEAR THE PLACE.
AND I WAS ON THE CRICKET FIELD.
YOU WERE BOTH SITTING
ON THE TOP STEP,
AND DON'T FORGET THAT IN
REDCLIFFE'S OFFICE TOMORROW.
SO THAT'S IT.
OH, NOW I REMEMBER.
WE WERE SITTING ON
THE TOP STEP. EXACTLY.
YES, AND I WAS SITTING IN
YOUR LAP. OH, STOP SPOOFING.
OH, I SAY, CHARLEY. YOU CAN' BE THERE TOMORROW MORNING.
OH, NO. OF COURSE. I SHALL
BE DRAGGING MY AUNTIE ABOUT.
BUT, CHARLEY- AND I'VE GO TO SEE THE VICE-CHANCELLOR.
FELLOWS, YOU CAN'T DO THIS.
IT'S A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH.
IF YOU'RE NOT THERE
TOMORROW, I'LL BE SENT DOWN,
AND THEN MY UNCLE WON' TAKE ME INTO THE FIRM.
AND THEN MY FAMILY WILL SEND ME BACK
TO THAT SHEEP RANCH IN NEW ZEALAND.
AND WHEN I ARRIVE THERE, THEY'LL ALL
BE WAITING FOR ME AND CALLING TO ME.
WHO?
THE SHEEP-
THIRTY-FIVE THOUSAND
DIRTY, SMELLY SHEEP.
AND EVERY ONE OF THEM SAYING,
"BABBS! BABBS!"
WHAT'S SO FUNNY
ABOUT THAT?
WE WERE ONLY JOKING.
DON'T WORRY, BABBS. WE WON' LET YOU DOWN. YOU BETTER NOT.
THE LAST TIME
I WAS RUSTICATED,
MY FAMILY KEPT ME IN NEW
ZEALAND FOR TWO YEARS.
IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN, I'LL BE A
SHEEPHERDER THE REST OF MY LIFE.
SHEEPHERDER.
COME IN!
BEG PARDON, MILORD.
I'VE JUST COME FROM MR.
WIGGINS WITH YOUR COSTUME.
IT'S READY TO TRY ON. I'LL DO
IT RIGHT AWAY. NOW SEE HERE.
YOU CAN START LAYING THE LUNCHEON
TABLE AT ANY TIME, BRASSETT.
YES, SIR.
AND BRASSETT-
- FETCH ME SIX-PENNY WORTH OF
HAIRPINS. - HAIRPINS, MILORD?
HAIRPINS.
VERY GOOD, MILORD.
TAKE IT OUT OF THAT HALF CROWN
I GAVE YOU THIS MORNING.
YES, MILORD.
BEG PARDON, SIR.
COME IN!
DON'T SHOUT AT ME, SON. I'M
BRINGING YOU YOUR ALLOWANCE.
DAD!
HOW ARE YOU, JACK?
SPLENDID, SIR. CHARLEY,
I WANT YOU TO MEET MY DAD.
DAD, THIS IS CHARLEY WYKEHAM.
HOW DO YOU DO, SIR FRANCIS?
HELLO, WYKEHAM.
WELL, I'LL RUN ALONG.
I'LL BE IN MY ROOMS
IF YOU WANT ME, JACK.
GOOD-BYE, SIR FRANCIS.
GOOD-BYE, WYKEHAM.
I SAY, YOU ARE
A HANDSOME DEVIL.
NOT BAD FOR 51, EH? NO
ONE WOULD EVER BELIEVE IT-
GOOD-LOOKING, CHARMING,
DEBONAIR.
NO NEED GOING ON, JACK. YOUR
CHECK'S ALREADY MADE OUT.
YOU KNOW, DAD, I DON' SEE HALF ENOUGH OF YOU.
I WISH I COULD AFFORD
CIGARS LIKE THESE.
WELL, CAN'T YOU?
NO.
NOW THAT I'VE COME INTO
THE FAMILY TITLE,
I HAVE ALSO COME INTO
THE FAMILY DEBTS. DEBTS?
MM. YOU KNOW
- RED INK AND ALL THAT SORT OF THING.
I'M AFRAID, JACK,
FOR THE NEXT FEW YEARS...
WE'RE GOING TO BE KNOWN AS
CHARMING, EDUCATED, CULTURED PAUPERS.
WELL.
THAT RUINS ME WITH KITTY. HMM?
WHAT'S THAT? OH, NOTHING, NOTHING. I-
JUST THINKING ALOUD.
THERE'S ONE RAY
OF HOPE THOUGH. I-
I THINK I HAVE AN APPOINTMEN FOR YOU IN NEW ZEALAND.
NEW ZEALAND?
MM-HMM. WONDERFUL PLACE.
GREAT SHEEP-RAISING COUNTRY.
YES.
I'VE HEARD
ALL ABOUT IT.
SAY, DAD.
I'VE AN IDEA.
COULDN'T THIS ALL BE SETTLED
BY A WEALTHY MARRIAGE?
OH, NO. I RATHER DISLIKE
THAT SORT OF THING, JACK.
IF I WERE YOU-
LISTEN.
CHARLEY WYKEHAM'S AUNT,
DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ,
IS COMING HERE
TO LUNCH TODAY.
SHE'S A WEALTHY WIDOW-
NO, DON'T DO IT, JACK.
I WOULDN'T ADVISE
YOUR MARRYING JUST FOR MONEY.
BUT NOT ME, DAD. YOU. ME?
OH, YOU YOUNG DEVIL.
I'LL GET ALONG, SON.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
I WASN'T, SIR.
I'M AFRAID I WAS BEING
VERY SELFISH.
WHAT?
YOU SEE, DAD,
I'M IN LOVE-
FRIGHTFULLY, DEVASTATINGLY.
BUT WITHOUT ANY MONEY,
I HAVEN'T THE RIGHT.
WHAT'S SHE LIKE?
OH, SHE-
SHE'S LIKE THE STARS,
THE MOON AND THE SUN.
IS SHE NOW?
SOUNDS LIKE THE REAL THING.
IT IS, SIR.
I WAS GOING TO PROPOSE TO
HER AT LUNCH TODAY, BUT-
HOW ARE THE SHEEP
IN NEW ZEALAND?
PRETTY BAD.
RATHER SMELLY TOO.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, JACK?
WON'T SHE WAIT?
OH, I THINK
SHE WOULD, SIR,
BUT SHE HAS A GUARDIAN.
OH.
YOUR MOTHER AND I ELOPED
UNDER SIMILAR CIRCUMSTANCES-
BUT OF COURSE AT THE TIME
I HAD A LITTLE INCOME.
YES, AN INCOME CAN BE
A WONDERFUL THING.
IT CERTAINLY CAN.
UH, HOW OLD IS THIS,
UH, CHARLEY'S AUNT?
OH, I DON'T KNOW. PROBABLY
90, LIKE MOST AUNTS.
WELL, AT 90
THEY DON'T BOTHER YOU MUCH.
AND YOU SAY
SHE'S VERY WEALTHY?
THEY SAY
SHE HAS MILLIONS.
I'M SURE YOUR MOTHER
WOULD UNDERSTAND. HMM?
WELL, I'LL HAVE LUNCHEON
WITH YOU TODAY. OH, NO, DAD.
I COULDN'T LET YOU DO
ANYTHING LIKE THIS FOR ME.
A LOVELESS MARRIAGE? BU I'M DOING IT FOR LOVE, SON.
I THINK I'LL RUN ALONG
AND GET SHAVED.
NO MAN SHOULD PROPOSE
ON A FULL BEARD.
AFTER ALL, IT WOULD BE
RATHER NICE TO HAVE THE STARS,
THE SUN AND THE MOON
FOR A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW.
WHAT DID YOU SAY HER
NAME WAS, JACK? KITTY.
KITTY.
THAT'S A LOVELY NAME, JACK.
YES, SIR. IT IS.
KITTY.
THANK YOU.
JACK? JACK!
SHE'S NOT COMING.
DON'T TELL ME THAT.
BUT SHE MUST COME.
WE'RE EXPECTING HER.
SEND HER A WIRE. TELL HER
- THERE'S NOT TIME ENOUGH.
THE GIRLS WON'T STAY
WITHOUT A CHAPERONE.
MAYBE THE REGISTRAR'S WIFE WILL
- JACK!
LOOK.
COME IN.
COME IN!
OH, I BEG YOUR PARDON.
CAN I HELP YOU?
WELL, BOYS, HOW DO YOU
LIKE ME? WHAT THE DICKENS-
BABBS!
AUNTIE.
- WHERE IS SHE?
SHE COULDN'T COME.
SO WE'VE GOT TO GE ANOTHER CHAPERONE.
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
ASK MRS.-
OH, NO, YOU DON'T!
OH, YES, WE DO!
NOW, STOP IT! STOP IT, YOU
BLACKGUARDS. STOP IT, I SAY.
STOP IT, YOU FELLOWS.
STOP IT, I SAY.
IF YOU CAN FOOL US, YOU CAN
FOOL THE GIRLS. COME ON, BABBS.
BE A SPORT. I WON'T BE A
LADY FOR YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE.
KEEP YOUR DISTANCE.
AND I MEAN IT.
VERY WELL. YOU KNOW, CHARLEY,
I'VE JUST BEEN THINKING.
I DON'T REMEMBER SEEING BABBS
TRIP ON THE STAIRS LAST NIGHT.
COME TO THINK OF IT,
I DON'T EITHER.
AND IF WE DIDN'T SEE HIM, WE COULDN' VERY WELL TELL REDCLIFFE THAT WE DID.
OH, OF COURSE NOT.
THAT WOULD BE LYING.
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO. HE'LL
SEND ME DOWN IF YOU DON'T.
THEN YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SEE
ALL THOSE LOVELY SHEEP.
THIS IS BLACKMAIL.
YES.
IT'S VERY SIMPLE. YOU HELP
US, AND WE'LL HELP YOU.
OH.
SHH! WE MUST TIDY UP THE ROOM.
JUST A MOMENT.
YOU'D BETTER MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
BUT FELLOWS, THIS IS-
THIS IS ALL SO UNFAIR.
ALL RIGHT, LITTLE BO PEEP, IF
YOU WANT YOUR SHEEP BACK AGAIN-
BUT YOU PROMISED.
ARE YOU GONNA TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF AN OLD FRIENDSHIP?
THE ANSWER IS YES.
WELL? I CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH
IT. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
JUST KEEP YOUR VOICE UP
AND YOUR DRESS DOWN.
COME IN.
HOW DO YOU DO? SO NICE OF YOU TO COME.
ARE WE TOO EARLY,
MR. WYKEHAM?
OH, NO. YOU DIDN'T MENTION
ANY TIME, MR. CHESNEY,
SO WE
- SO WE CAME DIRECTLY. MR. SPETTIGUE LEFT THE HOUSE.
WON'T YOU SIT DOWN?
Y- YES.
THANK YOU, BUT HAS
MR. WYKEHAM'S AUNT ARRIVED YET?
OH, UH, YES.
YES, OF COURSE.
OH.
OH, UH, DONNA LUCIA,
MISS SPETTIGUE.
MISS VERDUN,
DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ.
CHARLEY'S AUNT.
YES. MY- MY AUNT.
OH, UH, ARE YOU, UH, QUITE
COMFORTABLE, AUNTIE DEAR?
SAY SOMETHING, YOU IDIOT.
HOW-
HOW-
HOW DO YOU DO?
BABBS.
HOW DO YOU DO,
MY DEARS?
HOW DO YOU DO,
DONNA LUCIA?
WE BROUGHT YOU THESE.
FOR ME?
I MEAN-
FOR ME?
HOW SWEET OF YOU,
MY DEARS.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SET DOWN YOUR PARASOLS,
LADIES? OH, THANK YOU, MR. WYKEHAM.
OH, MISS AMY, I WAN TO SHOW YOU THIS PICTURE.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TO DO WITH THESE?
PUT 'EM IN YOUR DRESS.
NO, THAT'S ANOTHER FELLOW.
THAT'S JACK AT THE TOP.
WITH A MUSTACHE.
HE HAD ONE LAST YEAR.
SILLY PICTURES.
DON'T SHOW THEM THAT.
I WON THIS TROPHY
AT LA CROSSE.
THIS BAT IS RATHER NICE.
IT'S AUTOGRAPHED
BY W.G. GRACE.
YOU'VE SEEN HIM.
ENORMOUS BEARD.
AMAZING OLD MAN.
YOU KNOW WHO HE IS,
DON'T YOU? NO, I DON'T.
IS THIS YOUR PICTURE, JACK? YES,
THAT'S ME. IT WAS MY FIRST YEAR.
MAY I ARRANGE THOSE
FOR YOU, DONNA LUCIA?
SO NICE OF YOU, MY DEAR.
THE TABLE-
THIS IS THE ONE I MEANT.
THANK YOU.
OH, COME IN, BRASSETT. OH, BEG
PARDON, MILORD. MR. WIGGINS-
NOW, BRASSETT, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE
I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME MILORD?
NOT YET, ANYWAY. PERHAPS
LATER, BUT, UH, NOT NOW.
OH, I WANT YOU TO LAY
ANOTHER PLACE FOR MY FATHER.
YES, SIR. HE CAN SI NEXT TO, UH, DONNA LUCIA.
OH. YES, SIR.
CROSSING THE QUAD, SIR,
I SAW A GENTLEMAN.
HE WAS EVIDENTLY
HEADING THIS WAY, SIR.
I BELIEVE
IT WAS MR. SPETTIGUE.
OH! MR. SPETTIGUE!
OH, AMY.
KITTY.
MR. SPETTIGUE.
UNCLE DIDN'T GO TO LONDON
AT ALL. NO, IT WAS A TRICK-
JUST TO SEE WHAT WE'D DO.
WE CAN HIDE IN THAT ROOM.
SOMEBODY PLEASE
SEND HIM AWAY.
YOU GET RID OF HIM.
OH, NO!
I WISH TO SEE MR. CHESNEY.
WELL, DON'T SHOUT.
I'M NOT A BARMAID, YOU KNOW.
WHERE ARE MR. CHESNEY
AND MR. WYKEHAM?
AND WHERE ARE YOUR MANNERS,
YOU DRUNKEN SOT? WHAT?
REMOVE YOUR HA IN THE PRESENCE OF A LADY,
OR I SHALL WRITE
TO THETIMESABOUT THIS.
THAT'S BETTER
- OR IS IT? I WISH TO SEE THE TWO YOUNG GENTLEMEN AT ONCE.
WELL, YOU CAN'T SEE THEM, BECAUSE
I'M THE ONLY GENTLEMAN PRESENT.
WHAT?
I MEAN, I'M-
I DISTINCTLY SAW TWO
YOUNG LADIES COME IN HERE.
WELL, THAT'S CURIOUS, BECAUSE
I'M THE ONLY YOUNG LADY HERE.
OF COURSE, IN YOUR CONDITION, YOU PROBABLY SAW ME TWICE
- COMING AND GOING.
I FLIT BACK AND FORTH. THEY'VE
PROBABLY GONE INTO THE GARDEN.
THEY'VE DONE
NOTHING OF THE KIND.
THEN THEY'VE GONE INTO TOWN.
THEN WHY DON'T YOU FOLLOW THEM-
IF YOU'RE ABLE TO WALK
IN YOUR CONDITION.
MADAM, I AM PERFECTLY SOBER.
SOBER?
SOBER?
MADAM, I ASSURE YOU-
I ADVISE YOU TO SIGN
THE TEMPERANCE PLEDGE...
AND BE SAVED
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
SOMETHING JUST HIT ME.
PROBABLY THE TENTH DRINK.
YOU CAN COME OUT NOW,
MY DEARS.
HOW SWEET OF YOU,
DONNA LUCIA.
OH, YOU WERE AN ANGEL
TO DO IT FOR US.
LOOK AT HIM.
I OUGHT TO TAP HIS CLARET.
DONNA LUCIA
- I THINK YOU'D BETTER SIT DOWN.
LADIES, I DON'T THINK YOU'VE SEEN
OUR VIEW OF THE CLOISTERS, HAVE YOU?
ON A CLEAR DAY, YOU CAN
SEE THEM QUITE CLEARLY.
WHEN IT'S CLEAR.
REALLY?
I JUST SAW YOUR FATHER
COMING UP THE STAIRS, SIR.
NOW, YOU BE CAREFUL
WHEN MY DAD GETS HERE.
WHY? I'M NOT RELATED
TO HIM TOO, AM I?
OF COURSE NOT, YOU IDIOT. YOU'RE
CHARLEY'S AUNT FROM BRAZIL.
BRAZIL. YOU KNOW, WHERE
THE NUTS COME FROM.
OH! IT'S YOUR UNCLE AGAIN.
NO, NO, NO. IT'S MY FATHER.
HELLO, DAD.
HELLO, JACK.
MISS SPETTIGUE,
MISS VERDUN- KITTY-
MY FATHER.
OH, DELIGHTED.
HAS, UH,
SHE COME YET?
OH, UH, CHARLEY, WILL
YOU INTRODUCE YOUR AUNT?
OH, UH, YES, OF COURSE.
UH, DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ,
SIR FRANCIS CHESNEY-
JACK'S FATHER.
HOW DO YOU DO, SIR FRANCIS?
HOW DO YOU DO?
I'M CHARLEY'S AUN FROM BRAZIL-
WHERE THE NUTS
COME FROM.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
SHE WAS ONLY 90.
LISTEN, DAD,
I WANTED TO EXPLAIN-
MY SON HAD TOLD ME HOW WEALTH-
HOW CHARMING YOU WERE,
AND AFTER SEEING YOU, I CAN ONLY SAY
THAT HE IS A MASTER AT UNDERSTATEMENT.
HOW SWEET OF YOU.
MY, WHAT A LOVELY FLOWER.
OH, YOU LIKE IT?
WILL YOU ACCEPT IT?
THANK YOU, SIR FRANCIS.
I SHALL HAVE IT STUFFED.
LUNCHEON IS READY, SIR.
THANK YOU, BRASSETT.
DAD, WILL YOU TAKE
- DONNA LUCIA? BUT OF COURSE, SON.
OH, WILL YOU SEAT US,
PLEASE, AUNTIE? YES.
NOW, THE GIRLS
- THE GIRLS WILL SIT RIGHT HERE NEXT TO ME.
BUT, AUNTIE, YOU HAVE
TO CARVE THELAMB.
WELL, IN THAT CASE
- THE YOUNG LADIES WILL SIT THERE...
AND THERE.
YES, YES, YES.
WILL YOU BE SEATED,
DONNA LUCIA? THANK YOU.
I WILL SIT HERE, SON.
BRASSETT, YOU CAN OPEN
THE CHAMPAGNE. YES, SIR.
HOW DO YOU FIND
THE CLIMATE IN LONDON?
BRASSETT, WHERE'S THE CHAMPAGNE?
I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND IT, SIR.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
THE CHAMPAGNE, AUNTIE.
WHAT? YOU HAVEN'T ANY?
LUCKY I BROUGHT SOME WITH ME.
IN MY BAG, BRASSETT.
SO! I WAS RIGH AFTER ALL.
WHY, MR. SPETTIGUE
- COME OUT FROM THERE THIS INSTANT.
COME OUT, COME OUT. PLEASE, MR.
SPETTIGUE, I ASSURE YOU WE THOUGHT-
YOU THOUGHT I'D GONE TO LONDON.
THAT'S WHY YOU BOTH CAME HERE.
WHERE DID YOU GE THAT HAT? TAKE IT OFF!
YOU'RE A VERY SILLY OLD WOMAN,
AND PLEASE DON'T INTERFERE.
WHY, YOU-
LOOK HERE, SIR. YOU CANNOT PUT SUCH
AN AFFRONT UPON MR. WYKEHAM'S FRIENDS.
I CAN ONLY SAY THA I'M DEEPLY ANNOYED...
TO FIND MY NIECE
AND MY WARD-
WITHOUT MY PERMISSION-
COMING HERE TO-
MEET MR. WYKEHAM'S AUNT.
INDEED.
ALLOW ME
TO INTRODUCE YOU.
DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ,
MR. SPETTIGUE.
DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ?
THE MILLIONAIRESS?
HOW DO YOU DO?
HOW DO YOU DO,
MR. SPETTIGUE?
I'M CHARLEY'S AUN FROM BRAZIL-
WHERE THE NUTS
COME FROM.
PLEASE- PLEASE FORGIVE ME
FOR BEING SO RUDE.
HOWEVER, NOW THAT I SEE
THAT MY WARDS CAME ONLY...
TO PAY THEIR RESPECTS
TO A MOST CHARMING WOMAN,
I AM ASHAMED
OF MY UNGENTLEMANLY CONDUCT.
BUT COME, COME
- WE CAN'T BE GENTLEMEN ALL THE TIME.
CAN WE?
NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE, MR.
SPETTIGUE, WON'T YOU STAY FOR LUNCH?
WELL, IF YOU WISH IT.
AM I FORGIVEN? FORGIVEN.
WILL YOU ACCEPT THIS
FLOWER AS A PEACE OFFERING?
OH, THANK YOU.
MADAM, ALLOW ME.
THANK YOU.
NO, NO! ALLOW ME.
NOW SHALL WE SIT DOWN?
BRASSETT,
YOU MAY SERVE THE-
OH!
DONNA LUCIA!
IS IT NOT ROMANTIC THAT SHELLEY
ONCE STROLLED THESE SAME PATHS?
AND HERE WE ARE.
AND HERE WE ARE.
OH! WHY, YOU-
OH.
WHY, I BEG YOUR PARDON,
MADAM.
NOW THAT WE'RE ALONE,
DONNA LUCIA,
THERE IS SO MUCH
I'D LIKE TO SAY TO YOU.
I KNOW, AND THERE ARE A FEW
THINGS I WANT TO SAY TO YOU TOO.
OH, DON'T BE AFRAID, DONNA
LUCIA. LET YOUR HEART SPEAK.
I
- I DOUBT IF THIS IS THE TIME OR PLACE. I HAVE IT.
LET'S MEET IN THE GARDEN
OVER THERE IN 15 MINUTES.
GOOD. THEN WE CAN SPEAK
FREELY.
I SHALL BE WAITING.
AHA. I SEE YOU'VE
GOT RID OF SIR FRANCIS.
UH, YES.
HE HAD AN APPOINTMENT.
GOOD. AND NOW THAT THA FORTUNE HUNTER IS GONE,
I CAN TELL YOU SOMETHING
THAT HAS BEEN ON MY MIND...
EVER SINCE I FIRST MET YOU.
WELL, I'M SURE IT'LL BE VERY INTERESTING
- TO ONE OF US.
I KNOW A VERY QUIE LITTLE PLACE.
A SHADY BOWER
NEAR THE RIVER.
UH, SPLENDID. YOU GO THERE,
AND I'LL MEET YOU LATER.
OH, YOU COME WITH ME. AH
- MY REPUTATION, YOU KNOW.
IF THEY SEE US TOGETHER,
PEOPLE MIGHT TALK.
OH, OF COURSE, OF COURSE.
FORGIVE MY IMPETUOSITY.
JUST FOLLOW THIS PATH. YOU
CAN'T MISS IT. YOU CAN'T!
NOW I KNOW WHAT WOMEN
GO THROUGH.
MY DEAR-
MY DEAR KITTY-
THERE'S SOMETHING I'D VERY
MUCH LIKE TO SAY TO YOU.
THEN SAY IT, MR. CHESNEY.
WELL, I-
OH!
I BEG YOUR PARDON, DEAR. I
ONLY WANTED TO SPEAK TO JACK.
CERTAINLY, SIR FRANCIS.
I'LL GO AND FIND AMY.
CONFOUND IT, DAD.
I WAS ABOUT TO PROPOSE.
BUT NOW, JACK, YOU CAN PROPOSE
WITH A CLEAR CONSCIENCE.
MY CONSCIENCE
IS PERFECTLY CLEAR, DAD.
IT'LL BE CLEARER
THAN EVER NOW, JACK.
WE'LL HAVE AN INCOME AGAIN. HOW?
DONNA LUCIA
- SHE'S MINE. UH, I MEAN, OURS. DONNA LUCIA?
YES.
HAVE YOU PROPOSED?
NOT YET, BUT THE WAY
THE OLD GIRL'S...
BEEN COOING AT ME, IT WON' BE LONG NOW. DAD, YOU MUSTN'T.
I FORBID IT. NOW, JACK,
WE'VE BEEN ALL THROUGH THAT.
IT'S NOT ONLY FOR YOUR GOOD,
BUT MINE. DAD, PLEASE, YOU CAN'T.
WE CAN'T. WE MUSTN'T HAVE
ANYBODY LIKE THAT IN THE FAMILY.
THERE'D BE A SCANDAL. A SCANDAL WITH A
PERFECTLY HARMLESS OLD LADY LIKE THAT?
DAD, LISTEN. THERE'S
SOMETHING I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU.
YES, JACK?
SHE-
SHE ISN'T WHAT SHE SEEMS.
NO?
NO, SHE ISN'T.
SHE-
SHE'S A WOMAN WITH A PAST.
A PAST?
YOU CAN'T HAVE A PAST WITH A FACE
LIKE THAT, JACK. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
HER FACE WASN'T ALWAYS
LIKE THAT.
AND BESIDES, SHE DRINKS. YES,
SIR, SHE DRINKS EXCESSIVELY.
IT'S TRUE. HER SUITCASE
IS FILLED WITH CHAMPAGNE.
YOU SAW IT YOURSELF A LUNCHEON. I KNOW, JACK, BUT YOU-
OH, DAD, YOU'RE TOO GOOD AND FINE TO
THROW YOURSELF AWAY ON A WOMAN LIKE THAT.
IT'S TRUE, I NEVER DID LIKE
A WOMAN WHO DRINKS TOO MUCH.
OH, BUT AFTER ALL, I
SHALL BE DRINKING WITH HER.
IT WON'T BE TOO MUCH OF A
SACRIFICE. OH, DAD, NOT NOW.
WAIT A FEW DAYS. A FEW DAYS? NO, JACK.
I'VE GOT TO WORK FAS TO BEAT OUT OLD SPETTIGUE.
HE'S BEEN GETTING IDEAS
ABOUT THE LADY TOO. SPETTIGUE?
YES, AND IF HE GETS HER, YOU
MAY AS WELL KISS KITTY GOOD-BYE.
NO, SON. I'VE SEEN MY DUTY,
AND I'M GOING TO DO IT.
BUT FIRST I'M GOING UP
TO YOUR ROOMS...
AND HAVE A RATTLING-GOOD
WHISKEY AND SODA.
I DON'T THINK I COULD PROPOSE
TO THAT FACE WITHOUT ONE.
OH, DAD, THINK IT OVER FOR
A TIME. IT'S NO USE, SON.
I SAY-
WHERE'S YOUR WHISKEY?
IN THE PIANO.
OH, DONNA LUCIA,
THANK YOU.
IT WAS TERRIBLY CLEVER OF YOU TO
ENGAGE MR. SPETTIGUE IN CONVERSATION...
SO WE COULD STEAL AWAY
BY OURSELVES.
I WAS ONLY TOO HAPPY
TO HELP, MY DEAR.
UH, MY DEAR, WOULD YOU BE GOOD ENOUGH
TO SHOW ME THE CLOISTERS AND THINGS?
DELIGHTED.
LOOK AT HIM. HE JUST STOLE
HER RIGHT AWAY FROM ME.
THAT'S NOTHING.
YOU KNOW WHERE MY FATHER IS?
GETTING HIMSELF A RATTLING-GOOD
WHISKEY AND SODA. WHAT FOR?
TO PROPOSE TO BABBS. THAT'S
WHAT FOR. PROPOSE TO BABBS?
HMM. FOR MY SAKE.
FOR YOUR SAKE?
YES. FOR SOMEBODY'S SAKE,
LET'S DO SOMETHING.
DONNA LUCIA, MAY I
SEE YOU FOR A MOMENT?
MAY I SHOW YOU
THE HOLLYHOCKS, MISS AMY?
OH, YES.
PLEASE REMEMBER
I'M A FRAGILE OLD LADY.
HAVE YOU BEEN LEADING
MY FATHER ON?
NO, I MERELY FLUTTERED
MY EYELASHES.
WELL, THAT WAS ENOUGH.
HE'S GOING TO PROPOSE.
ALL RIGHT, IF HE WANTS TO PROPO
- WHAT? OH, NO, NOT ME!
I'M NOT GONNA MARRY HIM!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
GOING UP TO MY ROOM
AND BARRICADE THE DOOR.
YOUR FATHER'S AN ARMY MAN,
AND I KNOW THE ARMY.
NOW, DON'T BE AN IDIOT, BABBS.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS REMAIN CALM.
CALM? WITH THE ARMY AFTER
ME? NO, JACK, I'M THROUGH.
I'M GETTING OUT OF THESE
PETTICOATS RIGHT NOW.
? BAA, BAA, BLACK SHEEP
HAVE YOU ANY WOOL?
? YES, SIR, YES, SIR
THREE BAGS FULL?
ALL RIGHT, YOU WIN.
BUT IF I TURN OUT TO BE YOUR
STEPMOTHER, DON'T BLAME ME.
WELL, ALL RIGHT,
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
BRING ON THE OLD ROUE, AND WE'LL
GET THIS WRESTLING MATCH OVER WITH.
HE'S BOLSTERING HIS COURAGE AT THE MOMEN WITH A DRINK. HE'S A LITTLE NERVOUS.
HE'S NERVOUS?
HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?
YOO-HOO!
MY DEAR DONNA LUCIA,
YOU ARE HERE.
WON'T YOU COME
INTO THE GARDEN?
WON'T YOU SIT DOWN?
THANK YOU.
DONNA LUCIA, DO YOU KNOW THAT MEETING
YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY...
IS TO ME
LIKE A LONELY TRAVELER...
COMING ACROSS SOME BRIGH LITTLE FLOWERLET IN THE DESERT.
YOU MEAN ME?
YES, DONNA LUCIA, YES.
DONNA LUCIA, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT A MAN LONGS FOR...
WHEN HE IS DESOLATE,
WRETCHED AND LONELY?
OH, NO, NO, NO.
HE LONGS TO PLANT THAT LITTLE
FLOWERLET IN HIS HEART...
AND NURTURE I WITH KINDNESS AND LOVE...
AND SEE IT GROW IN ALL
ITS SPLENDOR AND BEAUTY.
TO FIND THIS LITTLE FLOWERLET, I
HAVE COME ALL THE WAY FROM INDIA.
INDIA?
THEN YOU MUST BE AWFULLY
TIRED. HAVE A CHAIR.
THANK YOU.
NOW THAT I HAVE FOUND
THIS LITTLE FLOWERLET,
I WANT I TO BE WITH ME ALWAYS.
I WANT IT TO WALK
BY MY SIDE,
TO SEE THE SPLENDOR
OF THE TAJ MAHAL,
TO BE KISSED
BY THE TROPICAL MOON.
OH, DARN THAT THING!
PARDON ME.
TERRIBLY CLUMSY OF ME.
OH.
WHAT A CLUMSY OAF I AM.
I'M SO TERRIBLY SORRY.
AH, I WILL WASTE
NO MORE WORDS, DONNA LUCIA.
WILL YOU BE MY LITTLE FLOWERLET?
WILL YOU BE MY WIFE?
WELL, YOU SEE-
THEN I MAY HOPE?
I'M AFRAID NOT.
NO, DON'T HOPE.
I WOULDN'T HOPE
IF I WERE YOU.
FRANKLY, SIR FRANCIS, I INTEND TO MARRY
SOMEONE MUCH YOUNGER THAN YOURSELF.
YOU SEE, YOU
ALREADY HAVE A SON.
WHILE I- I HOPE TO HAVE
A FAMILY OF MY OWN SOMEDAY.
AT YOUR AGE?
OH, I KNOW I'M A LITTLE YOUNG
TO BE SPEAKING OF CHILDREN,
BUT I WON'T ALWAYS
BE YOUNG NOW, WILL I?
NO, I SUPPOSE NOT. BUT I PROMISE
YOU ONE THING, SIR FRANCIS.
I WILL ALWAYS BE
A SISTER TO YOU.
THAT IS, IF YOU CARE
FOR THAT SORT OF THING.
NO WORDS OF MINE
CAN ALTER YOUR DECISION?
THEN PLEASE ACCEPT MY REGRETS AND APOLOGIES
FOR EVER HAVING BROACHED THE SUBJECT.
GOOD DAY.
GOOD DAY, SIR FRANCIS.
GOOD DAY.
CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE I'LL
FIND LORD FANCOURT BABBERLY?
LORD FANCOURT? WELL, UH, HIS ROOMS ARE IN
THAT BUILDING, BUT HE'S NOT IN AT PRESENT.
OH. WILL YOU SEE HIM SHORTLY?
OH, YES, AT ANY MOMENT.
I WONDER IF YOU'LL GIVE
HIM THIS, PLEASE. OF COURSE.
JUST TELL HIM THA MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE WAS HERE.
I'M GOING TO THE INN NOW,
AND I SHALL BE BACK IN AN HOUR.
CERTAINLY, MADAM.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THAT'S THE WOMAN
UNCLE TELEGRAPHED ABOUT.
AND FROM HERE
SHE LOOKS MIGHTY NICE.
WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO? I'VE GO TO ENTERTAIN MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE.
I CAN'T DO IT IN THIS
OUTFIT. JUST A MOMENT!
YOU CAN'T QUIT ON US LIKE
THIS. NOW SEE HERE, JACK.
THAT WOMAN IS A VERY IMPORTAN CLIENT, AND I'VE GOT TO-
OH, NOW LOOK
WHO'S COMING.
IF YOU DISAPPEAR NOW, HE'LL BE
SUSPICIOUS. I'VE GOTTA MEET THAT WOMAN.
BUT SHE WON'T BE BACK FOR AN HOUR. YOU
CAN GET RID OF THIS ROMEO IN FIVE MINUTES.
JUST TURN HIM DOWN
LIKE YOU DID DAD.
BUT HE'S IN HIS THIRD
CHILDHOOD. HE'S A CHEEK PINCHER.
A BOOCHA-BOOCHA-BOOCHA. OH,
COME ON, BABBS. GET IT OVER WITH.
OH, ALL RIGHT.
DO I LOOK SEDUCTIVE ENOUGH?
I HATE TO MENTION THIS,
AUNTIE, BUT YOU NEED A SHAVE.
I SHAVED THIS MORNING.
NOT CLOSE ENOUGH FOR AUNTIE.
IF OLD SPETTIGUE PINCHES YOUR CHEEK
AND FEELS THAT STUBBLE, IT'S TROUBLE.
NOW, COME ON. BE A GOOD GIRL
AND WHISK OFF THOSE WHISKERS.
YOU CAN USE THE RAZOR IN MY ROOM.
WHY CAN'T I BE A BEARDED LADY?
DONNA LUCIA!
MR. SPETTIGUE!
YES.
YOU'RE VERY NAUGHTY COMING IN HERE
LIKE THIS. I JUST HAD TO TALK TO YOU.
STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. SHAME
ON YOU, COMING UP HERE UNINVITED.
JUST FOR THAT, I'M GONNA CLOSE
THE DOOR. NO, DON'T, DONNA LUCIA.
I WAITED FOR YOU IN THE BOWER,
AND WHEN YOU DIDN'T COME, I-
OH, DONNA LUCIA,
FORGIVE ME. FORGIVE ME.
RATHER THAN OFFEND YOU,
I WOULD DESTROY MYSELF.
OH, DONNA LUCIA, DONNA LUCIA, YOU
ARE SUCH A PICTURE OF LOVELINESS.
I THOUGHT MY LIFE SPAN WAS OVER, AND THEN
- THEN I SAW YOU.
YOUR FACE- YOUR FACE
WAS LIKE A KINDLY BREEZE...
CARRYING BACK TO ME
ALL THE DAYS OF MY YOUTH.
OH, MR. SPETTIGUE!
I SAY, BABBS,
HAVE YOU SEEN KITTY?
KITTY? ALL I'VE SEEN
IS SPETTIGUE. SPETTIGUE?
YES, AND HE'S AFTER ME.
COME ON.
OH!
OH, IT'S YOU, MADAM.
VERY CARELESS OF ME.
I BEG YOUR PARDON.
OH!
THAT WAS A CLOSE SHAVE, WASN' IT? BUT NOT CLOSE ENOUGH. LOOK.
SPETTIGUE CAUGHT ME RIGH IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. WHAT?
YES. AND KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN
FOR HIM WHILE I FINISH SHAVING.
HURRY UP! SPETTIGUE'S
JUST COMING OUT OF THE BUILDING!
I CAN CUT MY THROA JUST SO FAST AND NO FASTER.
- HERE HE COMES!
- GOOD. LET ME AT HIM.
I'LL TURN HIM DOWN RIGHT OFF, AND HE CAN
TAKE HIS BROKEN HEART AND GET OUT OF HERE.
BUT HE'S SURE TO TAKE KITTY AND AMY
WITH HIM. GOOD. WE CAN GET RID OF THEM.
BUT KITTY CAN'T LEAVE NOW.
I HAVEN'T PROPOSED TO HER YET.
YOU'VE GOTTA KEEP OLD SPETTIGUE
AROUND HERE A LITTLE LONGER. OH!
KEEP HIM ON THE HOOK UNTIL
I'VE HAD MY TALK WITH KITTY.
BUT I CAN'T DO THAT. WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR
- A TEASE?
AND WHAT ABOUT MRS. BEVERLY
SMYTHE? NOW, LISTEN, BABBS.
OH, ALL RIGHT. BUT HURRY UP
BEFORE MY BEARD GROWS BACK AGAIN.
HERE HE IS.
AH, THERE YOU ARE.
HELLO.
DONNA LUCIA.
CHASE ME.
OH.
CERTAINLY, MADAM.
EXCUSE ME, SIR. HAVE YOU SEEN A
DISTINGUISHED LOOKING LADY ABOUT HERE?
DEFINITELY. OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
KITTY, YOU KNOW
I LIKE YOU ENORMOUSLY.
YES. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT EVEN
CONSTRUE IT AS LOVE, MIGHTN'T THEY?
YEAH- YES! AND, WELL, WHEN TWO
PEOPLE LOVE EACH OTHER, THEY-THEY-
THEY BECOME ENGAGED, DON'T THEY? YEAH.
YES! AND I THOUGH THAT IF YOU-
OH, YOU ARE A DEAR
TO ASK ME, JACK.
OH, WHAT'S THE USE
OF TALKING?
I'LL BE POOR
FOR THE NEXT FEW YEARS.
WE'D HAVE TO LIVE IN THE
SUBURBS ON TUPPENCE A YEAR.
WELL, IS THERE ANY REASON
WHY WE SHOULDN'T?
KITTY!
YOU KNOW VERY LITTLE
ABOUT ME, JACK.
DO YOU THINK IF I WERE IN LOVE, BEING
POOR WOULD MAKE THE SLIGHTEST DIFFERENCE?
WE WON'T BE FOR LONG.
I'LL WORK HARD.
OH, I'M MUCH TOO FOND OF YOU
TO LET MONEY STAND IN THE WAY.
YOU ARE, KITTY?
THEN- THEN-
THEN WILL I MARRY YOU,
JACK? YES.
OH, KITTY.
I DID IT.
I DID IT!
I DON'T SEE HOW.
IF I WERE A MAN, I'M SURE I'D
NEVER HAVE THE COURAGE TO PROPOSE.
OH!
YOU ARE BOLD,
AREN'T YOU, JACK?
OH, I- I'M TERRIBLY
SORRY, KITTY.
OH, I WASN'T COMPLAINING. I WAS
MERELY EXPRESSING AN OPINION.
YOU'RE SO PRETTY.
REALLY, MR. WYKEHAM, YOU NEEDN' SOUND SO DEPRESSED ABOUT IT.
OH, I'M NOT DEPRESSED. I'M JUS - JUST OVEREXCITED.
OH, MISS AMY.
YES?
WELL, DON'T LOOK AT ME.
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
I LOVE YOU.
WELL?
WELL WHAT?
WELL, AREN'T YOU GOING TO
SAY, "THIS IS SO SUDDEN"?
IT ISN'T REALLY, IS IT, CHARLEY? AMY!
OH, CHARLEY, I FORGOT ABOU UNCLE. WELL, WHAT ABOUT HIM?
OH, BUT WHAT ABOU MY GUARDIAN, MR. SPETTIGUE?
OH. I'LL SEE HIM AT ONCE
AND ASK HIS CONSENT.
AND YOU MUST GET IT IN WRITING. WRITING?
YES. SO THAT LATER
HE CAN'T RETRACT IT.
YOU DON'T KNOW HIM AS WELL
AS I DO. I DON'T TRUST HIM.
OH, BUT I COULDN'T ASK HIM
TO DO A THING LIKE THAT.
NO. BUT DONNA LUCIA COULD.
DONNA LUCIA?
YES.
MR. SPETTIGUE HAS FALLEN A COMPLETE VICTIM
TO HER CHARMS. HE'D DO ANYTHING FOR HER.
OH, HELLO, CHARLEY.
WHERE'S AMY?
OH, OVER BY THE GATE. OH, I
- I MUST GO AND TELL HER THE NEWS.
I'VE DONE IT.
JACK, I'VE DONE IT!
DONE WHAT?
TOLD AMY EVERYTHING.
OH, YOU FOOL! WHAT FOR?
TOLD HER WHAT?
TOLD HER THAT I LOVE
HER. OH, IS THAT ALL?
IS THAT ALL? WHY, IT MADE
ME FEEL MOST PECULIAR.
BUT SHE SAYS I'VE GOT TO GET THE
OLD BOUNDER'S CONSENT IN WRITING.
ME TOO. I WONDER
IF THE OLD MISER CAN WRITE.
WELL, THERE'S ONLY
ONE THING TO DO ABOUT IT.
PSST. HEY!
AUNTIE!
DONNA LUCIA!
WHERE'S SPETTIGUE? ABOU A QUARTER OF A MILE BACK.
DID YOU TWO POP THE QUESTION YET?
AND THE ANSWERS WERE FAVORABLE.
GOOD. THEN I CAN TELL OLD SPETTIGUE WHAT I
THINK OF HIM. BUT YOU CAN'T TURN HIM DOWN.
WHAT? NO, YOU'VE GOT TO ACCEPT HIM.
NOW LOOK HERE, BABBS!
LOOK OUT!
GET OFF OF ME! BABBS,
YOU MUST BE REASONABLE.
I COULD NEVER BE HAPPY WITH A
MAN LIKE THAT. I WON'T ACCEPT!
ONLY TEMPORARILY. ONLY UNTIL YOU CAN GE WRITTEN CONSENT FOR THE GIRLS TO MARRY.
IF YOU TURN HIM DOWN, HE'LL NEVER
GIVE IT. JUST STRING HIM ALONG.
WHEN I HAVE TO USE MYSELF AS BAIT FOR
AN UNDERSIZED MACKEREL, THAT'S THE END!
OH!
OH, JACK! CHARLEY! WHATEVER'S
THE MATTER WITH YOUR AUNT?
SHH. SHE'S RESTING. YES, YES. SHE
- SHE HAS A STIFF BACK.
WE'VE BEEN GIVING HER A BIT OF A
TREATMENT. THE WEATHER, YOU KNOW.
IS THAT BETTER, AUNTIE? YES. NOW
I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NO BACK AT ALL.
OH, DONNA LUCIA! I SUPPOSE JACK
MENTIONED THE FAVOR WE WANT TO ASK OF YOU.
YES, HE DID SAY SOMETHING
ABOUT A LETTER OF CONSENT.
OH, AND YOU WILL GET I FOR US, WON'T YOU?
WELL, NOW, GIRLS,
I'M AFRAID I CAN'T.
OH, DONNA LUCIA!
OH, DONNA LUCIA!
HAVEN'T YOU EVER BEEN IN
LOVE? OH, DOZENS OF TIMES.
OH, I MEAN ONCE IN LOVE,
ALWAYS IN LOVE.
OH, THEN YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
IT MEANS TO US, DON'T YOU?
YES, GIRLS, BUT I DON'T THINK
- OF COURSE AUNTIE WILL GET IT. WON'T YOU, AUNTIE?
CHARLES, I TOLD YOU ONCE
- ? LITTLE BO PEEP HAS LOST HER SHEEP?
THAT I'LL BE DELIGHTED TO.
OH, YOU'RE AN ANGEL!
I KNEW YOU WOULD. THANK
YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
OH, YOU'RE
SO WONDERFUL.
OH, COME ALONG, AMY.
WE MUST FIND MR. SPETTIGUE.
HE'S DOWN THERE. OH, WE'LL
BRING HIM TO YOU AT ONCE.
IF YOU DON'T STOP
KISSING KITTY, I'LL-
AND NO MORE
LOVEY-DOVEY WITH AMY.
THERE'S A MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE
IN YOUR ROOMS, MILORD.
SEE? NOW LOOK
WHAT YOU GOT ME INTO!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
GET HIM, JACK!
WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?
I'M GONNA CHANGE MY CLOTHES AND BE WHAT NATURE INTENDED ME TO BE
- A MAN.
YOU CAN DO THAT AFTER
YOU TALK TO SPETTIGUE.
BUT I'VE GOT TO TAKE CARE OF MRS.
BEVERLY SMYTHE. YOU CAN DO BOTH.
GO MEET THIS WOMAN AND BE BACK
DOWN HERE AS SOON AS YOU CAN.
WE'LL KEEP SPETTIGUE OCCUPIED. IF THINGS GE HOT, I'LL TOSS SOME PEBBLES UP AT YOUR WINDOW.
AND IF YOU DON'T COME AT ONCE, THOSE
PEBBLES WILL BE FOLLOWED BY A ROCK.
COME ON.
LET'S FIND SPETTIGUE.
WHAT DID I EVER DO
TO DESERVE ALL THIS?
HOW DO YOU-
HOW DO YOU DO? I'M
LORD FANCOURT BABBERLY.
OH, AND I'M MRS. BEVERLY
SMYTHE. HOW DO YOU DO?
OH, PARDON ME FOR STARING,
BUT YOU AREN'T AT ALL
WHAT I EXPECTED TO FIND.
I THOUGHT I'D BE MET BY SOME
18-YEAR-OLD STUDENT INSTEAD OF-
WELL, OBVIOUSLY
A MAN OF THE WORLD.
I'M PLEASANTLY SURPRISED. WELL,
THAT'S AWFULLY NICE OF YOU.
NOW THAT WE'RE BEING FRANK, I HADN' PICTURED YOU THE WAY YOU ARE, EITHER.
YOU DON'T LOOK AT ALL LIKE A
CLIENT, YOU KNOW. OH, THANK YOU.
ARE YOU HERE ON BUSINESS, MRS. SMYTHE,
OR JUST A VISIT? NO, JUST A VISIT.
YOU SEE, ST. OLDE'S WAS MY
HUSBAND'S COLLEGE. MY LATE HUSBAND.
OH, YOURLATEHUSBAND?
OH, WELL, THAT'S FINE.
I MEAN, THAT'S FINE THAT HE WEN TO COLLEGE HERE. A SPLENDID PLACE.
YES, HE SPOKE SO HIGHLY OF IT. SO I DECIDED
TO COME HERE AND GET TO KNOW IT AS HE KNEW IT.
WELL, YOU COULDN' HAVE FOUND A BETTER ESCORT.
I'VE BEEN HERE
ON AND OFF FOR 10 YEARS.
YOU KNOW, I'M SO SORRY, MRS.
SMYTHE, I WAS OUT WHEN YOU ARRIVED.
I WAS WITH A COUPLE OF CHAPS
- CHESNEY AND WYKEHAM. OH.
BEING A BIT OLDER, I'M SOR OF A BIG BROTHER TO THEM.
THEY WANTED ME TO MEE THEIR FIANCEES.
AND AS A BIG BROTHER,
DID YOU APPROVE?
DEFINITELY. THEY'RE
LOVELY GIRLS, BOTH OF THEM.
OF COURSE, THEY'LL NEVER TURN OUT TO BE
AS CHARMING AND ATTRACTIVE AS YOU ARE.
I'M SORRY.
SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT.
NO. NO, YOU SHOULDN' HAVE SAID THAT.
BUT I FORGIVE YOU.
ANYONE EVER TELL YOU
ABOUT YOUR EYES?
SOMETHING'S COME OVER ME. MAY
I OFFER YOU A GLASS OF SHERRY?
OH, YOU CERTAINLY MAY. AND, UH,
WHAT WERE YOU SAYING ABOUT MY EYES?
THEY IMPRESS ME VERY MUCH.
BOTH OF THEM.
OH. OH.
BUT YOU TOLD ME
SHE WAS HERE.
BUT SHE WAS,
ONLY A MOMENT AGO.
OH, SHE'S PROBABLY GONE BACK TO YOUR
ROOMS. MAYBE I CAN FIND HER THERE.
NOW, YOU SIT RIGHT DOWN HERE, MR.
SPETTIGUE. YOU'RE TIRED ANYWAY.
AND I-I'M SURE SHE'LL BE
BACK IN A MOMENT. YEAH.
GOOD HEAVENS!
WHAT WAS THAT?
JUST A PASSING HAILSTORM. THINK NOTHING
OF IT. IT'LL BE OVER IN A MOMENT.
NOW, WHAT I'D LIKE TO
SUGGEST FOR THIS EVENING...
IS A CHARMING LITTLE RESTAURAN WITH A WONDERFUL VIEW OF THE RIVER.
OH!
OH, WHAT A
- WHAT A LARGE HAILSTONE! AND DANGEROUS TOO!
THAT REMINDS ME, I'VE GOT A LO OF CLOTHES HANGING OUT ON THE LINE.
I'D BETTER GET THEM IN
BEFORE THEY'RE RUINED.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT CLOTHES DOES TO
HAIL? I MEAN, TO HAIL TO CLOTHES.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
NOW, WAIT FOR ME.
I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR.
AREN'T THE SWEET PEAS LOVELY? YES.
MR. SPETTIGUE HAD SOME PLANTED AT HOME.
UNCLE LOVES FLOWERS.
YES.
LADIES, WOULD YOU,
UH, EXCUSE US?
YES, PLEASE.
OH, CERTAINLY.
COME ON.
HELP ME, WILL YOU?
EVERY TIME I PUT THESE CLOTHES
ON, THERE SEEM TO BE MORE OF THEM.
AH, DONNA LUCIA!
OH, MR. SPETTIGUE, THERE YOU ARE. YES.
I, UH- I COULDN'T FIND THE TEA,
SO ON THE WAY BACK...
I HAPPENED TO SEE THESE FLOWERS, AND
I JUST HAD TO STOP AND SMELL THEM.
OH, THEY ARE LOVELY.
YES.
WELL, NOW SHALL WE GO
BACK AND HAVE OUR TEA?
NOT JUST YET, STEPHEN.
OH, YOU DON'T WAN TO GO BACK?
WELL, PART OF ME
IS READY TO GO,
BUT PART OF ME MUST STAY.
I MEAN, MY HEAD SAYS GO,
MY HEART SAYS STAY,
AND MY FEET ARE UNDECIDED.
WHOA! MR. SPETTIGUE, I JUMP FOR
JOY WHENEVER I SEE YOUR FACE.
I JUMP AND JUMP
AND JUMP AND JUMP AND JUMP.
OH, I HAD NO IDEA
I MEANT SO MUCH TO YOU.
WELL, NOW THAT WE UNDERSTAND EACH
OTHER, I'D LIKE TO ASK A FAVOR OF YOU.
ANYTHING. ANYTHING!
I WANT YOU TO WRITE A LETTER GIVING
YOUR WARD AND NIECE CONSENT...
TO MARRY MY NEPHEW AND
MR. CHESNEY. OH, BUT-
THEY'RE SO MUCH IN LOVE.
STEPHEN, PLEASE, JUST FOR MY SAKE.
OH, BUT WHY? WHY SPEAK OF OTHER
LOVES WHEN WE HAVE OUR OWN?
BUT I CAN'T THINK OF MYSELF
UNTIL I SEE THOSE CHILDREN HAPPY.
VERY WELL. WE'LL
DISCUSS IT TONIGHT.
GOOD. NOW SHALL WE
- SHALL WE JOIN THE YOUNGSTERS FOR TEA?
YES, MY DARLING.
OH, STEPHEN.
OH, LUCIA.
KEEP THAT WOMAN IN MY ROOM.
DON'T LET HER GET OUT.
SON!
MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE,
I'M JACK CHESNEY,
A FRIEND OF BABBERLY'S.
HE WAS CALLED TO THE PROCTOR'S OFFICE,
SO HE ASKED ME TO COME UP AND EXPLAIN.
- THANK YOU.
- SAY, JACK-
OH, EXCUSE ME. WELL, SON,
WHY DON'T YOU INTRODUCE ME?
OH, MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE, MY
FATHER, SIR FRANCIS CHESNEY. OH.
I HOPE I'M NOT INTRUDING.
WELL, NOT AT ALL.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE TEA HERE WITH LORD
BABBERLY, BUT HE SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN DETAINED.
WHAT A SHAME. WELL, THE OTHERS
ARE HAVING TEA IN THE GARDEN.
WHY DON'T WE THREE
JOIN THEM? OH, NO. NO.
I'M SURE MRS. BEVERLY
SMYTHE WOULDN'T ENJOY IT.
JUST TWO SILLY GIRLS AND CHARLEY
WYKEHAM'S OLD AUNT FROM BRAZIL.
AN- AN OLD AUN FROM BRAZIL?
- YES.
- OH.
WELL, UH, WHAT SOR OF A- A LADY IS SHE?
OH, A HORRIBLE OLD THING. OH, REALLY?
WELL, I MUST SEE HER.
I SPENT A LITTLE TIME IN BRAZIL MYSELF.
WE SHOULD HAVE A GREAT DEAL IN COMMON.
OH, BUT I- I'M SURE
YOU WON'T LIKE HER.
NONSENSE. I CAN'T WAIT TO
MEET HER. SIR FRANCIS? MADAM.
THANK YOU. YOU KNOW, I'M QUITE
CHARMED WITH YOUR TOWN OF OXFORD HERE.
I HOPE YOU SHALL ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU
AROUND. I'D BE VERY GRATEFUL TO YOU.
MY DEAR.
THANK YOU.
WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY. ALL OF US
BEING TOGETHER. I HATE TO SEE IT END.
OH, BUT IT SHAN'T, MY DEAR.
NOW, I HAVE A CAPITAL IDEA.
WE SHALL ALL DINE
AT MY HOUSE THIS EVENING.
AND WE'LL STEAL AWAY
AND BE ALONE TOGETHER.
THAT WILL BE HEAVEN.
DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ,
MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE.
HOW DO YOU DO?
D'ALVADOREZ. OF COURSE.
UH, I KNEW YOUR LATE
HUSBAND INTIMATELY.
OH. OH, SHE KNEW MY LATE
HUSBAND INTIMATELY.
WELL, YOU TWO SHOULD
GET ALONG FAMOUSLY.
YES.
YES, YOUR HUSBAND AND I-
WELL, NOW, PLEASE, PLEASE,
I'D MUCH RATHER NOT DISCUSS IT.
YOU SEE, THAT'S ONE SUBJEC I JUST CAN'T TALK ABOUT.
I JUST- I JUST CAN'T-
OH! OH, I'M SO SORRY.
HOW MANY SUGARS?
I MEAN- I MEAN-
OH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
OH, DARLING AUNTIE!
BRASSETT! WATER!
SOME BURNT FEATHERS, BRASSETT. BRANDY!
SHE'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
MY DEAR DONNA LUCIA, WILL YOU
SIT HERE AT THE HEAD OF THE TABLE?
AND MAY YOU GRACE I ALWAYS FROM NOW ON.
THANK YOU.
IT WAS SO KIND OF YOU TO ASK ME
HERE THIS EVENING, MR. SPETTIGUE.
IT WAS A VERY, VERY GREAT PLEASURE,
I ASSURE YOU, MY DEAR LADY.
IF YOU HADN'T, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE.
STILL BE WAITING
FOR LORD BABBERLY, I IMAGINE.
HE MUST BE A VERY ILL-MANNERED
YOUNG MAN, DESERTING YOU LIKE THIS.
NOW, I WOULDN'T BE TOO HARSH ON THE BOY.
HE WAS PROBABLY UNAVOIDABLY DETAINED.
I STILL THINK IT WAS
INEXCUSABLY BOORISH OF HIM.
YOU DO, DO YOU?
WELL, WHEN MY NEPHEW INTRODUCED
ME TO HIM THIS AFTERNOON,
I FOUND HIM TO BE A MAN
OF GREAT CHARM, CULTURE,
INTELLIGENCE, CHIVALRY, WIT,
AFFECTION AND UNDERSTANDING.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I WAS NEVER QUITE
SO IMPRESSED WITH ANYONE IN ALL MY LIFE.
AND I'D RATHER NOT HEAR
ANOTHER WORD AGAINST HIM!
I SAY, DO YOU THINK WE'LL WIN FROM
CAMBRIDGE AT CRICKET NEXT WEEK, CHARLEY, EH?
OH, WE CAN'T LOSE, OLD BOY,
WITH SPICKENS AT THE WICKET.
SPICKENS IS A GOOD MAN.
IT'S TOO BAD IT'S HIS LAST YEAR.
DID YOU SEE HIM AT THE NETS
YESTERDAY? OH, MARVELOUS, MARVELOUS.
EXTRAORDINARY FORM.
OH, MR. SPETTIGUE, I IMAGINE
YOU WERE QUITE A CRICKET PLAYER.
OH, QUITE, QUITE, YES.
I PLAYED A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF
CRICKET. AND BOWLED, YOU KNOW.
BOWLED? REALLY?
THAT SOUNDS LIKE GOOD FUN.
AMAZING.
ANCIENT GAME.
YES, IT'S VERY FUN. I THINK I'VE
SEEN SOME PHOTOGRAPHS OF YOU.
WELL
- YES, I THINK IT IS TIME THE LADIES WERE RETIRING...
TO THE DRAWING ROOM AND LEAVE
THE GENTLEMEN TO THEIR PORT.
THANK YOU.
JUST A MOMENT. MR. CHESNEY WAS
ASKING ME SOMETHING ABOUT BRAZIL.
WAS I? YES, AND I'M SO
GLAD YOU ASKED ME THAT.
NOW, BRAZIL-
BRAZIL IS THE MOST BRAZILIAN
PLACE IN ALL OF SOUTH AMERICA.
IT HAS ITS, UH,
RIVERS AND LAKES,
HILLS AND DALES,
CITIES AND COUNTRIES,
DAYS AND NIGHTS, AND
AFTERNOONS TOO, OF COURSE.
DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR
QUESTION? YES. YES.
- UH, CHARLES, PLEASE HELP ME.
- OH, OF COURSE, AUNTIE.
OOH, AUNTIE,
TELL THEM ALL ABOUT YOUR
COFFEE PLANTATION IN BRAZIL.
OH.
YES. YES, PLEASE
DO TELL US.
I WANT TO HEAR
ALL ABOUT IT.
WELL, UH, YOU KNOW
WHAT COFFEE IS, OF COURSE.
AND, UH- AND YOU KNOW
WHAT A PLANTATION IS.
WELL, UH, WE HAD
A COFFEE PLANTATION.
DONNA LUCIA, DO YOU PREFER
THE MOCACA COFFEE TO THE PINHAL?
THE, UH, MOCACA COFFEE?
WELL, YES, YES.
WITH A LITTLE SUGAR.
AND IT'S DELIGHTFUL
WHEN SERVED PIPING HOT.
I CAN HELP YOU NOW,
AUNTIE. THANK YOU, CHARLES.
AMY-
THANK YOU.
AND THEN- THEN THERE'S-
THERE'S ANOTHER KIND OF COFFEE.
THIS COFFEE IS GROWN
FROM SEED ON WET FLANNEL.
OH, MY DEAR, TIMES
ARE MOVING SO FAST NOW.
IT'LL BE IN BEFORE YOU KNOW
IT. SUCH A WORLD WE LIVE IN.
YOU KNOW, I HAVE A DRESSMAKER WHO
MADE THIS DRESS IN SIX WEEKS...
WITH ONE OF THOSE NEW
SEWING MACHINE ATTACHMENTS.
REALLY?
THEY SEEM TO BE
TELLING STORIES.
PSST. PSST. CHARLEY.
OH, YES, AUNTIE?
EXCUSE ME.
WHICH ONE ARE THEY TELLING?
OH, THAT ONE.
ARE YOU GOING TO JOIN US,
MR. WYKEHAM?
OH, NO. I JUST CAME TO SEE IF MY AUN HERE WAS ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WELL, IF THEY CAN TELL STORIES,
I DON'T SEE WHY WE CAN'T.
I KNOW ONE. OF COURSE,
IT'S A TRIFLE NAUGHTY.
OH, REALLY?
WELL, PLEASE TELL IT.
YES. YES, DO TELL IT. THIS IS
ONE THAT DON PEDRO USED TO TELL.
PERHAPS DONNA LUCIA WOULD
PREFER TO TELL IT HERSELF.
TOM PEDRO?
DON PEDRO D'ALVADOREZ,
YOUR LATE HUSBAND.
OH, DON.
DON PEDRO, OF COURSE.
I KNEW HIS NAME.
I CAN'T REMEMBER HIS STORIES.
OH, PLEASE GO ON. I'M SURE
DONNA LUCIA WON'T MIND.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NOT AT ALL.
IT SEEMS AS THOUGH DON PEDRO WAS WALKING
THROUGH HIS COFFEE FIELDS ONE DAY...
WHEN HE CAME ACROSS ONE OF
HIS WORKMEN WHO WAS TIPSY.
THE MAN HAD A GIRL IN HIS
ARMS, AND HE WAS KISSING HER.
OH. WELL, NATURALLY
DON PEDRO WAS FURIOUS,
AND HE SAID,
"HOW DARE YOU?"
AND THE MAN SAID, "WHAT'S THE
MATTER? ALL YOUR WORKMEN DO THIS."
AND DON PEDRO SAID, "HOW CAN
YOU MAKE A STATEMENT LIKE THAT?
WHAT GROUNDS
DO YOU HAVE?"
AND THE MAN SAID,
"COFFEE GROUNDS."
OH, WHAT A NAUGHTY STORY.
SILLIEST THING
I'VE EVER HEARD.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER
THE STORY, DONNA LUCIA?
IT WAS ONE OF DON PEDRO'S
FAVORITES.
OH, PERFECTLY. I SHRIEKED
THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT.
YOU KNOW, THAT REMINDS ME
OF A VERY FUNNY STORY.
ONE OF YOU GIRLS
PLAY SOMETHING.
WELL, NOW, GENTLEMEN,
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I'M GOING TO SHOW
DONNA LUCIA THE GARDEN.
YOU'VE NO IDEA HOW BEAUTIFUL
IT IS IN THE MOONLIGHT.
OH, DONNA LUCIA,
WE ARE ALONE AT LAST.
DON'T TOUCH ME! I'M
VERY, VERY ANGRY WITH YOU.
LUCIA, YOU WOUND ME. DON' SAY THAT. WELL, I DO SAY IT.
AFTER THE WAY YOU PROMISED
ME, TO TREAT ME LIKE THIS!
PROMISE? YES, THE CONSEN YOU PROMISED ME IN WRITING.
BUT I DIDN'T PROMISE.
WHY, STEPHEN! TO THINK THA YOU'D GO BACK ON YOUR WORD.
OH, DONNA LUCIA!
THAT'LL DO YOU NO GOOD UNTIL I
GET THE LETTER. BUT, MY DEAREST-
STEPHEN, UNTIL YOU GIVE ME THA LETTER, ALL IS OVER BETWEEN US.
NO. NO.
WE CAN NEVER BE APART.
THERE IS SOME UNSEEN SOMETHING
THAT BINDS US TOGETHER.
WELL, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. JUS THE SAME, I WANT THAT LETTER.
VERY WELL, DEAR. I'LL GO
TO MY STUDY AND WRITE IT.
BUT THEN
- THEN WILL YOU SAY THAT YOU'LL BE MINE?
I'LL SAY ANYTHING YOU LIKE WHEN
I GET THE LETTER. DARLING! OH!
IF YOU LOOK,
YOU'RE NO GENTLEMAN!
NOW YOU MAY HELP ME UP.
OH, A THOUSAND PARDONS,
DEAREST LUCIA.
TELL ME,
DID YOU HURT YOUR BACK?
MY BACK IS FINE.
NOW, GO WRITE THE LETTER.
I WON'T BE A MOMENT.
DARLING!
ARE YOU ALONE?
MAY I SIT DOWN, PLEASE?
MY, WHAT A DREADFUL SMELL
OF SMOKE THERE IS IN HERE!
YES, I NOTICED IT MYSELF. MUST BE
SOMETHING BURNING IN THE KITCHEN.
I'LL GO SEE WHAT IT IS.
NO, DON'T GO.
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOU YOUR LATE HUSBAND, DON PEDRO.
OH, LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT HIM.
HE WAS SUCH A CRUEL HUSBAND.
THE DON PEDRO I KNEW
WAS SO KIND.
OH, THAT'S HIS FATHER,
THEOLDPEDRO, THE ONE WITH THE BEARD.
OH. OH, FORGIVE MY CURIOSITY,
BUT HAVE YOU ANY CHILDREN?
CHILDREN? ONLY A FEW.
NONE TO SPEAK OF.
OH, DONNA LUCIA, I'M SURPRISED THAT YOU
HAVEN'T ACQUIRED THE HABIT OF SMOKING.
SO MANY BRAZILIAN WOMEN
HAVE, YOU KNOW.
WELL, CONFIDENTIALLY, I WAS JUS PUFFING ON A PERFECTO WHEN YOU CAME IN.
I THOUGHT YOU MIGH NOT UNDERSTAND, SO I, UH-
WOULD YOU CARE FOR ONE?
THEY'RE VERY MILD, YOU KNOW.
OH, NO.
NO, THANK YOU.
WELL, YOU- YOU DON' KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING.
- OH, LORD BABBERLY?
YES?
OH, IS HE HERE TOO?
OH, IT'S NO USE.
LORD BABBERLY, I'VE KNOWN
WHO YOU WERE FOR HOURS.
OH, MY GOODNESS. YOU WON' GIVE ME AWAY, WILL YOU?
THAT ALL DEPENDS. BUT THIS WASN' MY IDEA. YOU MUST BELIEVE ME.
THIS WHOLE THING
STARTED WITH SHEEP.
I MEAN, WHEN JACK AND CHARLEY
INVITED THE GIRLS TO LUNCHEON.
OH, IT'S SUCH A LONG STORY. CAN'T WE GO
SOMEPLACE WHERE WE WON'T BE INTERRUPTED?
OH, OF COURSE.
PARDON ME.
LADIES FIRST.
SO JACK LOVES KITTY,
AND AMY LOVES CHARLEY,
AND I'M PLAYING CUPID IN THREE
PETTICOATS, AND THAT'S THE WHOLE STORY.
MAYBE YOU'RE NOT DOING THEM
AS GREAT A FAVOR AS YOU THINK.
I'M GETTING THEM A LETTER OF
CONSENT. WHAT MORE DO THEY WANT?
PERHAPS THIS LETTER OF
CONSENT IS MERELY A PRETENSE.
AFTER ALL, MR. SPETTIGUE IS
OBVIOUSLY A FORTUNE HUNTER.
PERHAPS THE GIRLS
ARE AFTER MONEY TOO.
WELL, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. MR.
SPETTIGUE WAS AGAINST THE MARRIAGES.
OH! OH, HE WAS?
OF COURSE. THE MOMENT LOVE FLIES
IN THE WINDOW, HIS INCOME FLIES OUT.
THE ONLY REASON HE'S CONSENTING IS BECAUSE HE
THINKS HE'S GONNA MAKE MORE MONEY BY MARRYING ME.
OH, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT.
I HAVE OTHER PLANS FOR YOU.
YOU HAVE?
YES. WHEN YOU JOIN YOUR
UNCLE'S FIRM IN THE FALL,
I SHALL INSIST THAT YOU
HANDLE MY AFFAIRS.
WELL- WELL.
IN ALL DEFERENCE TO YOUR UNCLE,
I THINK IT MIGHT BE RATHER FUN...
TO HAVE AN ATTORNEY WHO THOUGH SOMETHING MORE OF LOVE'S YOUNG DREAM...
THAN JUST A-
A FUTURE ALIMONY CASE.
DO YOU SOLEMNLY PROMISE
TO BE MY FIRST CLIENT?
I DO.
WELL, TELL ME,
DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE
AT FIRST CLIENT?
OH, YOU DO?
I DO.
DONNA LUCIA!
DONNA LUCIA!
DO YOU REALLY MEAN IT?
BUT OF COURSE I DO,
YOU SILLY BOY.
WHY, I HEARD SOMETHING.
IT'S MY HEART. IT MAKES AN
AWFUL RACKET WHEN I'M WITH YOU.
OH.
LET ME BE THE FIRS TO CONGRATULATE YOU, SIR.
THEN YOU KNOW?
YES, I KNOW.
OH.
THANK YOU.
DONNA LUCIA!
THERE'S THAT MOOSE
CALLING TO ITS MATE.
YOU'D BETTER GO AND GET THA LETTER BEFORE HE CHANGES HIS MIND.
AS SOON AS I GET THROUGH WITH SPETTIGUE,
I'LL COME BACK AND TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF.
WHAT?
I MEAN, THESE CLOTHES OFF.
STEPHEN!
WHA-
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I'VE BEEN
LOOKING HIGH AND LOW FOR YOU.
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY,
MY SWEET.
CHILDREN! AMY!
KITTY! MRS. SMYTHE!
IS THAT THE LETTER?
YES. BUT FIRST-
FIRST LET US SEAL OUR
BETROTHAL WITH A KISS.
A KISS?
YES.
NO. NO, NO, NO.
YES. YES.
NO. I'VE BEEN DRINKING.
I DON'T MIND. JUST ONE.
STEPHEN, NO. WE'RE TOO OLD FOR
THAT SORT OF THING. OLD? NEVER!
NOW, STEPHEN
- WHEN LOVE CONSUMES YOU, YOU ARE AGELESS.
JUST ONE. JUST ONE
LITTLE, TEENY-WEENY ONE.
VERY WELL.
CLOSE YOUR EYES.
AND KEEP 'EM CLOSED.
YES, DEAR.
NOW GIVE ME THE LETTER.
THERE IT IS. JUST ONE MORE.
NO, NO! NO MORE, STEPHEN!
NO MORE! NO MORE!
YOU CALLED, UNCLE? OH, YES, MY
DEARS. I HAVE GREAT NEWS FOR YOU.
BUT WHERE
- WHERE IS MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE? AH, HERE. HERE YOU ARE.
I WANTED YOU ALL PRESENT TO
SHARE MY SECRET AND MY HAPPINESS.
MY
- OH, DONNA LUCIA, JUST TO THINK OF IT MAKES MY HEART POUND AND POUND.
NOW, STEPHEN, REMEMBER
THERE ARE OTHERS PRESENT.
OH, I'M SORRY, DEAR.
WELL, YOU SHOULD BE.
YES. IT'S JUST THAT LOVE HAS
MADE AN AUDACIOUS BOY OF ME AGAIN.
AND, CHILDREN, CUPID
HAS FOUND ANOTHER VICTIM.
A GOOD FAIRY
HAS TRIPPED IN AMONG US,
BRINGING WITH HER
UNEXPECTED LIGHT AND JOY.
OH, MY DARLING, JUS TO FEEL YOUR GENTLE TOUCH-
PLEASE, STEPHEN, WE'RE NO ON OUR HONEYMOON YET.
I'VE BEEN DUPED.
YOU- YOU IMPOSTOR!
WHO ARE YOU?
I'M CHARLEY'S NUT FROM BRAZIL
WHERE THE AUNTS COME FROM.
WHAT? GIVE ME THAT LETTER! NO!
GIVE ME THAT LETTER! GIVE I TO ME! NO! NO, NO, STEPHEN!
VERY WELL, KEEP IT.
IT'LL DO YOU NO GOOD.
THERE'S NOT A COURT OF LAW IN
ALL ENGLAND THAT WILL UPHOLD IT...
BECAUSE IT'S ADDRESSED
TO DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ!
AND HAS BEEN DELIVERED TO DONNA LUCIA
D'ALVADOREZ. BUT HE ISN'T DONNA LUCIA!
NO, BUT I AM.
YOU- OH!
YOU? MY AUNT?
YES, CHARLEY.
YOU?
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY
ABOUT ALL THIS, AUNTIE.
IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT. I DID MY SHARE
OF DECEIVING TOO. WILL YOU FORGIVE ME?
WELL, OF COURSE. WELL, THANK GOODNESS I
SHAN'T HAVE TO CALL YOU AUNTIE ANYMORE.
NO, BUT YOU MIGHT BE
CALLING ME UNCLE PRETTY SOON.
MY KITTY!
MY JACK!
MY CHARLEY!
MY AMY!
MY LUCY!
MY BABBSIE!
MY INCOME.
SAY, I WONDER IF HE CAN SUE ME
FOR BREACH OF PROMISE.