Cooler, The (2003) Movie Script
Where's Bernie?
They're killing us.
We need him here right away.
Yeah!
Come on, baby.
Come on, come on!
Come on!
Seven out.
Oh, man!
Come to Papa--
Hey, what the hell? !
God damn it, that's supposed
to be an $800 jackpot.
Afternoon, Doris.
- Hey.
Got any cream?
- Sure.
Oh, shit.
- Oh, it doesn't matter.
Dewar's and--
Fuck!
Dewar's and water, please.
Hi, Natalie.
Hey...
- Bernie.
Shit, motherfucker!
Yeah, Bernie.
Yo, Doris, have you seen
Shelly around?
He promised to position me
at the tables tonight.
I've been on skid row all week.
You didn't settle up
with me last night.
No? You sure?
Fuck, I was way under.
It's been like an AA convention
around here.
I'll make it up to you tonight,
I promise.
Where have I
heard that before?
If I see Shelly, I'll tell him...
- Thanks.
...that you're looking for him.
Conway, party of 11.
Please check your reservation
in the Paradise Lounge.
Hey, Bernie,
Shelly needs you on 11.
All right.
Let's do the Chivas Regal.
And have that--
have Natalie bring it over,
the one working
the nickel slots...
by the Paradise.
I spoke to Shelly earlier.
He wants her out on the tables.
All right.
I'll take care of it.
Great shot.
How about that?
Hi. It's you, right?
Yeah, over here.
Joe said
I should stick around.
You say something
to Shelly?
Um-hmm.
Wow, that was fast.
Thanks.
Don't mention it.
It's over here.
I'll win you a fortune
on five and nine.
Did you order
the Chivas Regal?
Hey, back off, will you, pal?
Can't you see I got a roll here?
Seven out, line away.
- That motherfucker.
Thanks for the bet, folks.
- Yeah, yeah, I'm coming.
Oh! Shoot!
Better luck next time.
Ah-hh.
Shelly, they're here.
- Relax, Shorty.
Hey. Nicky, you didn't tell me
you were coming.
I'm having a manicure here.
You think I don't wash up
after going to the john, huh?
Forget about it. You look like
a million bucks. How are you?
You should have called ahead.
I would have sent the car.
No, we figured
we'd surprise you.
Anytime, Nicky, anytime.
I know that, partner.
Shelly, let me
introduce you to our...
brightest VP here.
This is Larry Sokolov.
His numbers guy,
Marty Goldfarb.
How do you do, Shelly?
Can I get you
something to drink?
I'd love a vodka tonic,
thanks.
...comes out of the
confessional and she...
says, 'Move over,
I have to gargle.'
So Nicky,
what brings you to town?
Shelly, I've got
a smart kid here.
He's got some good ideas...
about how to revitalize
the Shangri-La.
Revitalize? What are
you talking about?
We did $35 million last year.
Nicky: Why don't you
just hear the kid out, huh?
Shelly, I want you to
know that I have...
nothing but the utmost
respect for you.
You've done a
tremendous job with...
the Shangri-La over
the last 16 years.
I don't think anybody
can dispute that.
Nicky:
Yeah, nobody doubts
that, Shell.
But the business has changed.
Just take a look at the Strip,
you'll see what
I'm talking about.
What?
You mean that Disneyland
mookfest out there? Huh?
Come on, you know
what that is?
Huh? That's a fucking violation
is what that is.
It's something that used
to be beautiful.
It used to have class,
like a gorgeous
high-priced hooker...
with an exclusive clientele.
Then along comes
that Steve Wynn cocksucker...
and knocks her up
and puts her...
in a fucking family way.
Now, she's nothing
but a cheap fat whore...
hiding behind
too much make-up.
I look at her and see
her stretch marks.
It makes me want
to cry, because
I remember the way
she used to be.
Am I right?
There's no arguing
the bottom line.
Those places are raking it in...
and the Shangri-La
as she is now...
can't compete with that.
You think I'm trying
to compete with that?
You think that's
what we're about,
trying to bring in
the stroller crowd,
fresh off some 'E-ticket'
ride, trying...
to break the house
on red and black?
Fremont has never been
about that bullshit.
This is where old time
and real money come to play.
The numbers don't
back you up...
on that, Shelly.
Don't get me wrong.
Nostalgia is great
and we love nostalgia...
...but nostalgia
belongs in a museum.
I think it comes a
time to decide...
whether you're
running a museum...
or you're running a casino.
Bernie.
'Mr. Cool.'
You got a minute?
I was just heading over to 14.
- It can wait.
How's the knee?
I met this orthopedic surgeon...
at Vegas Memorial.
He tells me...
they can rebuild a man's
entire kneecap out of titanium.
Oh, of course it costs
a shitload of money,
but seeing as this
gentleman is into us...
for 500 large, I thought maybe--
I told you, I'm not
gonna be here...
after Sunday.
Where are you gonna go,
Bernie?
Where the fuck are
you gonna go...
that's better than here?
I've got you covered
in this town.
People know you work for me.
That's currency
in your pocket.
That's fucking respect,
when you walk the floor.
Where are you gonna get that,
anyplace else?
Seven days, Shelly...
I'm out from under.
Excuse me, sweetheart.
What's your name,
darling? Never mind.
This is who I am.
Yeah, that's right. I
like to know who's...
shopping it around
in my neighborhood,
so what you do is
be in my office...
first thing tomorrow morning,
if you want to continue...
to work here at
the Shangri-La...
and you and I will go over
the rules together.
I also want you to
bring me a clean...
bill of health.
All right, my dear?
Okay.
- All right, thank you.
How'd you like
to 'birdie' that hole, huh?
Say the word and
she's yours anytime.
I'll keep a running tab for you.
Nah.
What? What? She's
not your type?
Are you kidding me?
I've got to go.
Things are heating up on 14.
Let's do it in the room.
Kim, I think we got our laundry...
mixed up. I-- I'll
talk to you later.
Come on, let's go back
to the room.
$50 bucks only gets
you 20 minutes, man.
You're wasting your time.
Your soul is crippled.
I'm gonna change that.
Pray with me now.
Out, demon!
Let the crutches go!
Let the spirit into you!
Run with me!
Fuck me harder!
Harder! Oh!
Oh, yeah, baby.
I like that. Come on.
Come on, come on.
You're so big!
You do? Hallelujah!
The Lord has shown
his face once again.
You gonna come all over me?
Oh, yeah, come all over me.
Let's do this, man.
Eight, the hard way.
$900 for Mr. Pinkerton.
- Seven and Seven.
Thanks, doll face.
- Jesus Christ!
Shit, I'm sorry.
- Don't worry about it.
I'm so sorry.
I'm such a fucking klutz.
No, this stuff happens.
- Oh, my God.
I'm sorry. This guy--
fucking hands all over my ass.
You might want
to stick around.
I came to play.
Come again, sister,
in the name of Pinkie.
Take this.
Hard eight, huh?
How you like that?
Suck on that.
That's right. Give
me them dice.
Damn right.
One dollar,
hard eight.
All right, everybody,
get in. Here we go.
We'll bet $10.
Out! Seven out.
- Shit! God!
What the fuck are you
smiling at, bitch?
Whoa, whoa... easy.
Fellas?
You think it's fucking funny?
- Take it easy, man.
Think it's funny this
place is stealing...
my-- fucking numb-nuts,
let go of me.
I'll have you fired,
you piece-of-shit...
bitch! Piece of
fucking garbage!
# But now I couldn't do
without my supply #...
# I need you for my own #...
# Oh, I can't break away
I must have you every day #...
# As regularly as coffee
or tea #...
# You got me in your clutches
and I can't break free #...
# You're getting to be
a habit with me... #
Oh, Shelly.
I love you, Shelly.
He's the man,
he's the best man. Salut.
No, no, no.
He hates that shit.
He really does.
# I used to think your love... #...
# Was something that I... #...
# Could take... #...
# Or leave alone #...
# But now I couldn't do
without my supply... #...
There he is.
- Hey.
Shelly, I was a fucking
embarrassment...
out there, do you
understand that?
You should never have...
talked me into going
out there, Shelly.
I should have never let you.
Frank is rolling
over in his grave.
I've got strep, man.
You understand that?
I've got strep.
Listen to me, Pops, you were...
pure velvet out there.
It was just silk.
And also, looky-looky
what was hanging...
on the doorknob. Huh?
Forget about your tonsils.
When the muff confetti
stops coming,
that's when you know
you got trouble.
Did you get a receipt?
Excuse me?
- They're on sale in the lobby.
Charlayne's. This is
'Victoria's Secret
Valentine Collection.'
What about that broad
you got coming here later?
How much did she set
you back? Nothing...
but the best for
old Buddy, right?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Gimme, you don't deserve this.
You got all those
ladies going home...
with a nice breeze
between their legs,
'cause you do it
the way they like it...
and you're saying I'm some
Buddy Stafford
ego pimp, huh?
Hey, fuck you
and-- fuck you.
Come on, give it to me.
Give it to me, man.
Come on, come on!
Come on, don't be a prick.
Come on, man.
Come on, give it to me!
Come on, man.
Oh, fuck! Fuck!
Do you ever watch
any of those nature shows?
What?
You know, those
nature shows.
You watch them?
Yeah, I've seen
a few nature shows.
Yeah? Well, this one I've seen
about a dozen times.
It's about... lions.
It's about...
the cycle of life of the lions...
and the leader of the pack.
'Pride'. With lions it's a pride.
- Yeah.
This old king lion, right?
He's getting on in years...
and then sooner or later...
some young male
comes along.
He challenges him...
and he beats...
the fuck out of this
old lion, right?
He just kicks the
shit out of him.
And then... then they push him
out of the pride...
and he has to go in the jungle...
and scavenge and
he dies alone.
The nature's got
some sense of humor, huh?
No shit.
See, but Shelly,
it's tragic because...
he's past it,
this old fucked lion...
and he doesn't know it...
and it would be so
much easier for him,
if he could just...
walk away.
And... he could
avoid all the pain...
and the humiliation.
Hey...
that would be like accepting...
that you were dead
already, right?
I think I like it better
nature's way, don't you?
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Yeah, that's it.
Buy you a drink?
Yeah.
Shelly, you got a minute?
Shelly, this is
Johnny Cappella.
How you doing, Shelly?
I know you from
some place, right?
Johnny's been opening
for Danny Ganz at the Mirage.
Now Sony is talking
about signing him...
to a three-album deal.
They're going to position him
as the new Harry Connick.
And I should be
interested in this... why?
Johnny's looking to headline.
I thought we might
be interested.
We?
- Did I come at a bad time?
Even if I was interested,
I got fresh ink with Buddy
for the next five years.
I just renegotiated his contract.
Listen, you two need to be
on the same page.
Larry, listen, if I don't
hear from you by Thursday,
I'm taking the Stardust.
All right? I'm going there.
I understand.
- Johnny Cappella, gone.
We'll definitely be
in touch, Johnny.
Assholes.
Your progressed
Venus is in Gemini...
and it's in direct motion,
which means...
...you're a slow starter
when it comes to romance.
Sorry. You know what?
This is real
unprofessional of me.
I shouldn't discuss your chart
with you until I'm all done.
I can tell by the
look on your face...
you think this is all a lot of B.S.
No, I just... I know what
the outcome's gonna be.
There's not like one
particular outcome.
A lot of things come
into the picture, like...
the planets, the moon phases--
The outcome won't
change with me.
It'll be all bad.
- Oh, my God.
I have never met anyone...
who was so down
on themselves.
Do you know
what I do at the Shangri-La?
I asked around.
You're a cooler.
You turn winners into losers.
- Do you know how I do that?
Listen, I know there's
a lot of stuff...
that happens in
casinos all the time.
I do it by being myself.
People get next to
me, their luck turns.
It's always been that way.
Well, that sounds...
like a self-fulfilling
prophecy to me.
There's a whole chapter
of that in my book...
I only got six more days.
Well... really almost five.
I'm leaving town.
Only five more days?
Then we shouldn't waste
any more time.
You want to go back
to your place?
If this is--
I'm not sure...
I'm not sure I can afford...
I can't afford to--
- Christ.
Oh, God. I'm sorry.
Wait, I didn't mean it.
See, this is what
I'm talking about.
I've gone and cooled
the damn table.
Shut up, Bernie,
shut up.
You haven't gone
and cooled anything.
Not by a long shot.
Oh, God.
You know...
once they're dead,
they don't really grow back...
in case that's
what you were waiting for.
Oh, my God, you got a cat?
So... you got any music?
Hey...
come here.
Sit.
Relax, Bernie, relax.
I assure you...
at least one of us
has done this before.
This is not the first time
I've ever--
Surprise me.
I like this.
# Luck, be a lady tonight #...
# Luck, be a lady tonight #...
# Luck, if you've
ever been a lady...
to begin with #...
# Luck, be a lady tonight #...
# Luck, let a gentleman see #...
# How nice a girl
you can be #...
# I know the way
you've treated...
other guys you've
been with... #...
They're snaps.
- I think I can get it.
Ow! Wait. Pull down some.
Okay.
- Ouch!
I'm sorry.
- It's okay. It's okay.
# It isn't fair...#
Oh, God.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, shit.
# A lady doesn't wander
all over the room #...
# And blow
on some other guy's dice #...
# So let's keep
this party polite #...
# Never get out of my sight #...
# Stick with me, baby,
I'm the fella you
came in with #...
# Luck, be a lady tonight... #
Sorry.
# Luck, let a gentleman see... #
It's okay, Bernie.
I've had worse.
Oh, shit. Oh, God.
I know I'm gonna pay for this,
I just--
I don't know who you are
or what-- I don't...
This was good and I'm glad.
I don't care.
You've got a great cock.
You've--
Thank you.
So...
want to go get
some breakfast?
They've got these rules
about casinos hiring felons,
so he got me a gig
in telemarketing.
We were scamming
pensioners...
out of their retirement money.
I lasted two weeks.
Here you go.
- By that time...
I was really getting in deep.
I owed one of the casinos
over a hundred grand.
I put Shelly
in a really awkward position.
I don't blame him
for what he did.
What?
Your leg?
He did that to you?
He shot you?
- No. Baseball bat.
I got off easy.
What do you mean
you 'got off easy'?
I was out of control.
He maimed you,
for fuck's sake!
Listen to me.
I'm grateful for what he did.
I am absolutely serious.
Anytime I get an urge
to play off the clock...
or so much as drop
a quarter in a slot,
I just reach down and feel
what's left of my cartilage.
It's an excellent reminder.
- Jesus Christ.
I thought shit like that
only happened in the movies.
Anyway, Shelly and
I worked out...
a repayment plan.
Six years off the books...
at the Shangri-La
cooling tables...
and in five days...
- Three.
Oh! Oh, shit.
Oh, my God! Now?
Are you sure?
I'm going into labor.
Yeah, I'm going into labor.
Ow-ww!
Deep breaths, deep breaths.
Stay very calm.
Okay, everybody, we're having
a baby, we're having a baby.
You fucking cocksucker!
Who puts their bag...
in the middle of
the fucking thing...
so a pregnant woman
can trip over it?
Mikey?
- Bernie.
I guess you're gonna be
a grandfather, Bernie.
Huh. Is this you?
Hey, what the fuck,
it runs.
Here, sit down.
You all right?
- Yeah.
Anyway, we've got
to get out of here.
Hey, Mikey.
How's your mom doing?
I'm gonna pretend
like you give a shit...
and tell you she's getting by
as long as she's high.
Her name is Charlene,
in case you were wondering.
Hey, when's the last time
you saw a doctor?
About six months ago,
back in Jersey.
I wasn't about to go back there
after they treated me like cattle.
Just 'cause I had
no insurance, you know?
All those places are crawling
with TB from them spics.
Listen, Mikey,
if you want to...
why don't you drop by
the Bettor Life Motel,
give us a chance to...
to catch up?
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
maybe we'll do that.
Play catch up,
for the kid's sake.
Thanks.
- Don't mention it.
$100 minimum table, sir.
No offense, pal,
but there's 20
other tables here.
What do you want to come
sit on my head for?
I'm just gonna play one hand.
I'm feeling lucky tonight.
I've got this voice in my head
that says, 'This is the table.'
Insurance?
- No.
Oh, yes! Yes, yes!
Busto! Mel,
what's happening to you?
Oh, yeah, welcome
to Mel's house.
Hey, where are you going?
Stick around, pal.
You and me, we make
a great team. Hey!
What was that?
I mean, what the fuck gives?
Is it McGann?
The guy's been
with me 12 years.
He's as stand-up as
my fucking dick.
Maybe he's having
money problems.
I'm gonna pull him.
No, no, no.
- Was he counting them?
The mook with the streak?
- Is there a problem?
No, there's no problem.
Fella's on a streak, is all.
Let me guess,
this is one of your 'coolers'?
Why don't you announce
it to the whole...
fucking joint while you're at it?
They told me that
you were a sticker...
for the old ways, but coolers?
What is this guy, really?
A car mechanic?
Some kind of shill?
'Cause he doesn't look
too effective to me.
He's the best. Take it from me.
- All right. Sure. Whatever.
There are ways--
subtle ways--...
that we can keep the odds
in our favor.
I'm talking about more
forward-thinking methods.
I'm sure you've got
a whole prospectus...
on the subject, right?
Well, as a matter of fact,
yeah, I do.
For instance,
I can tell you right off the bat...
the wallpaper's
not gonna cut it.
It's too uplifting.
I would suggest going
with some more muted tones.
Wallpaper?
- Yeah. And personally,
I think the cocktail waitresses...
could pop another
button or two.
Myself, I wouldn't hire
anything less than a 'C' cup.
You know what that is?
- No.
It's music to be sure.
It's pleasant, not intrusive,
but recorded
at a subsonic level is a mantra.
'Lose... lose... lose.'
We're just skimming
the surface, Shelly.
We really need to talk.
Shelly?
You better come quick.
Contact his daughter...
and assist with
the arrangements.
The Shangri-La
will cover all expenses.
What about the Paradise?
- She's going dark tonight.
Er, that won't be necessary.
# Can I steal a little love? #...
# Can I steal a little love? #...
# Cool me honey,
I'm on fire #...
# To steal your love
is my desire #...
# Hug me, squeeze me,
till I'm red #...
# Till my eyes
bug out my head #...
# Coo me, woo me,
turtledove #...
# Can I steal a little love? #...
# Please tell me,
why are you driving
me crazy? #...
# Why do I dig you
like I do? #...
# If I should steal a little kiss,
and you can prove that
it was wrong #...
# Then I'll give it
back to you #...
# Honey, baby with a smile #...
# I can walk you
down the aisle #...
# I won't even need
a shove #...
# Can I steal a little love? #
Young lady, over here.
You want to give it a shot?
Yeah. Come here.
- Five for $1.
Thanks, Bernie.
- Good luck.
Are you ready?
Shit.
All right, double fisted.
Damn!
Too bad. Better luck next time.
You want to try again?
- Yes.
No, no, no. Thank you.
- Thanks.
What?
- Nothing.
What?
- You're an easy mark, is all.
I'm an easy mark?
You know where
that comes from?
No.
Years ago, Shelly
and me were working
Coney Island for the summer...
and when I'd see a
guy who had a full...
wallet and was
willing to open it up,
I'd mark him with chalk.
I'd put it on my hand
and go something like,
'Hey, man, good work.'
'Hey, buddy, how you doing?'
What the guy didn't realize...
was that when he walked
down the way...
Shelly could spot
him a mile off.
An easy mark.
Thanks a lot, Bernie.
I've got to sit.
Hi.
You okay?
- Yeah.
Did you notice, last night,
that tattoo on my butt?
Little Joe?
- Yeah.
Yeah, two 2's.
'Little Joe.'
I had a son.
His name was Joe.
I was his mother for one year.
You don't have to tell me this.
- No, I want to, Bernie.
I gave my son up for adoption.
I just wanted my life back.
I was 17 going on 18...
and I was so fucking selfish.
My family didn't want nothing
to do with me after that,
so I hitched a ride out here...
and thought
I'd make it as a showgirl.
I'd like to think that
if it happened...
when I was older,
with a guy that I cared about,
that it would have
been different, you know?
I think about my little
Joe sometimes...
and I do know I did
the right thing.
I'm convinced of that.
Natalie...
I think...
I think I could kick your ass
at the dime toss.
# You may not be
an angel #...
# 'Cause angels
are so few #...
# But until the day
that one comes along... #...
Would you do
something for me?
# I'll string along with you... #
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
Bernie!
- Yes!
Oh, yeah.
Ow! Ow! Jesus, ow.
Oh, yeah!
Bernie, let's do it up the ass.
- Okay.
Please, please?
- Okay, okay.
No, my ass!
- Oh!
# And until the day
that one comes along... #
Yes!
Shut the fuck up in there!
Did we wake you?
# For every little fauIt
that you have #...
# See, I've got three or four #...
# The human little fauIts
you do have #...
# Just make me
love you more... #
I have to pee.
I'm always peeing.
Hey.
How did you get in here?
I told the desk clerk
Bernie was my old man.
He let us wait inside.
Is that cool with you?
Bernie is out
looking for a parking space.
I must have taken the last one.
I didn't get your name.
- Natalie, Mikey.
Tell me something, Natalie,
is he paying you?
Excuse me?
My old man,
is he renting your ass?
Because, otherwise,
I just don't get it.
I mean,
a loser like my pops...
in the company
of some primo tits and ass?
It don't compute.
Is this enough
to get me a little taste?
Family discount?
Are you kidding me?
- No, baby.
Mikey!
- Hey, Bernie.
I told you we was
gonna stop by.
I thought you'd call ahead first.
We were at breakfast.
Hey. Hey.
You missed some.
Hey, that's nice.
Hi.
- Hi.
You see, Bernie, the thing is...
we're kind of strapped.
I mean, Charly here
is expecting like yesterday.
And we don't have the
dough to make with...
the right nutrition
for her and all.
So I was wondering...
if you would like to
invest a little...
maybe in your
grandchild's future,
his well-being.
It's almost three grand.
That's all I got.
That's-- that's
very generous.
Bless you, Bernie.
You want to feel it?
You know, I really--
I don't think...
Oh-- I just feIt a kick.
Come on, Bernie,
give me your hand.
You feel that?
- I don't know. I think so.
Hey, we'll catch
you later, Bernie.
Okay.
Thanks.
Take care, Dad.
New Shangri-La
Hotel and Casino.
We break ground on
her in six months.
She's perfect.
Three floors of gaming,
Imax theater,
entertainment center,
boutiques, restaurants,
roller coaster.
You name it, we've got it.
She pays for herself
in three years.
After that, it's easy money.
Isn't she great, Shell?
ln 'Lost Horizon,
' these people,
their plane crashes
in the Himalayas...
and they get rescued,
Taken to this Utopia
in the mountains, Shangri-La.
It's beautiful.
Totally isolated,
untouched by the
outside world.
No war, no greed,
no bullshit.
Time has slowed down.
You never age.
It's paradise.
You see, that's
what Shangri-La is.
It's paradise.
Yeah, we've seen
the movie, Shelly.
What's your point?
My point is,
you don't fuck with paradise.
Come on. Jesus, Shelly.
Hey, we're not trying
to fuck with it.
We're trying to make it better.
- How?
How you gonna make it better?
It's perfect just the way it is.
It's the last of its kind.
It's pure.
This-- this is a
fucking mockery.
How is it a mockery, Shelly?
It's right out of the movie.
Who's talking about a movie?
This is not a movie.
This is my fucking life.
Let me ask you one question,
where are you gonna be...
when they decide
to change it back?
When people want the
real Vegas again,
before all this 'Epcot
Center' bullshit?
Who's gonna give it to them?
You? I don't think so.
You know who?
The same fucks...
who started this in
the first place.
You know what's
gonna happen?
It's gonna come
around full circle...
and bite you on
the fucking ass,
take my words for it.
Shelly, you make
some good points, huh?
Maybe we'll swing
back the other way...
someday. Who the hell knows?
But for now, this moment,
I suggest we shoot the dice.
My friend, I think
you should take some time...
just to think things through.
I know this is a lot to digest,
I know that.
Wait up a second.
What do you say?
I thought we were
gonna go eat.
Why don't you try
this table over here?
It's a little less crowded.
No, let's play here.
It's my lucky table.
I always play here.
Come on,
it's more private over here.
Shelly, I'm a big guy. I know
how to take care of myself.
Go ahead. I know
how to find you.
Go ahead. Go eat.
Here we go.
Come on.
Out! Seven, line away.
What the fuck?
Come on, 'Pops.'
What the hell?
I could have paid my mortgage
with the money I just lost.
File a grievance, all right?
Shithead.
Come on,
give me two hot ones.
Come on, new shooter.
Nicky:
Give me 100 on right,
All right, shooter. Come on.
Hey, hurry up,
Gramps! Come on,
your soup's getting cold, huh?
Four, hard four.
- Give me $25 yellow.
Hey, 'Uncle Palsy'...
come on, throw
them before you...
fucking keel over
and die, old man.
Be there!
Seven, out. Line away.
Thanks for the bets, folks.
Don't take it so hard, Pops.
Everybody craps out.
Now go fucking change
your Depends.
That's good.
Who's laughing now?
Crack wise now,
you fucking 'Ken doll'
no-dick, suburbanite,
fucking scum.
Huh? Now how's that
for a game?
Nicky, Nicky. Hey, it's all right.
- Get the fuck out of here!
Disrespectful cocksucker!
Nicky:
How do you like
the game so far?
Nicky, Nicky, take it easy.
Come on. Come on, come on!
That ain't right!
The guy fucked up
my whole game.
Who the fuck does
he think he is?
You're right. Forget about him,
he's just a piece of shit.
Let me see your hand.
- My hand is all right.
I got news for you. I
thought this joint...
had more fucking class, okay?
It used to be we
didn't let a bum...
like that in this fucking place.
Come on.
This town...
this town, you know,
all-- all I want to do...
is go some place
where I can tell night from day,
where they've got
clocks on the walls.
I can't breathe here anymore.
Four days and I'm
gone. I don't even...
know if I can hold out that long.
So where does that
leave us, Bernie?
A week ago,
I couldn't even
remember what it was...
like to have a
woman's hands on me.
I still pinch myself.
I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up--
Come with me.
Natalie, I want you
to come with me.
God, Bernie.
- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to
spring it on you.
I-- I've been working on this
compatibility chart, okay?
And it looks good,
really it does.
So, what's the problem?
The problem is it's
only good here.
But that's just for now,
for the immediate future.
You know, when the
planets realign...
maybe next year...
A year! ? Natalie,
I can't wait another year.
I can't--
I can't go, Bernie.
Hi, Doris.
- Hey.
Oh, shit.
Just a second.
Chang, party of 15,
your table is ready.
Chang, party of 15.
All right.
- Come on, papa-to-be!
Come on, y'all.
I want to send my
baby to college.
Six and a three,
five and a four. Let's go.
This is for our baby's future.
Don't 'blow ' it.
This is for you.
This one's on the line
for the guys with bowties,
with shoes.
- Oh, yeah.
Dealer's got shoes.
The point's nine.
Let's get that.
A six and a three,
a five and a four,
Let's do it. Can we get it?
Can we get it? Come on.
We got a shooter.
Hi, Bernie.
Fucking rock star!
Give me them dice back.
Okay, pay me, moron,
pay me. Come on!
$9,000, $9,000.
- Give him $9,000.
We're on a streak here.
Move it, move it, move it.
God bless you all.
Point is nine. Point is nine.
Let me get all the hard ways...
for 'Team Moron'
here, okay? All right.
This is great!
- For you guys, all right?
Here we go.
- Come on.
Six and three. Five and four.
- This is for the baby.
Come on.
Oh, oh, careful!
Come on, guys, with
the cigarettes.
We've got a pregnant
woman here.
Put them out. I'm winning
you guys money. Come on!
Come on.
All right.
What gives?
He's up 18,000
since I stepped up to the table.
Sorry, Shelly. I'm kind of
hit-or-miss these days.
$9,000, $9,000. Oh, baby.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I can feel a kick.
Fucking amateurs.
Let's get it. Let's get it!
Nope. That's it. Line away.
Guys, I thank you.
My pregnant wife thanks you.
My unborn child
thanks you very much, okay?
Color me up, will you?
And keep one of these
little blue ones for yourself.
Thank you very much.
That's quite a run
you had there, champ.
Oh, yeah, lucky!
Lucky night, I guess, huh?
- It's so exciting to watch, too.
If you don't mind,
I'd like to settle
this in my office.
I don't like to lay out
that kind of cash on the floor.
We'll go up there, relax a bit,
have a drink,
name your poison,
a little apple juice
for the mother-to-be here.
Seriously?
- Yeah.
Should I take this
stuff with me?
No.
Yeah...
Okay, that is not
how I propose we handle this.
We turn this matter
over to the authorities.
They'll be blacklisted,
their credit ruined--
Then, I suppose I should stick...
a fucking lollipop
in their mouths...
for the ride home, huh?
Let me tell you
something, 'Harvard,'...
come upstairs with
me in my office,
watch and learn how to protect...
your investments
the old-school way.
Fuck.
Ow, ow, ow... ow!
All right. Here we go
everybody. Let's go.
Shelly? Shelly!
Shelly, wait a second.
Get off me! No!
Shelly, wait. Wait!
Don't, don't. Don't do this.
Stay out of this, Bernie.
It's got nothing to do with you.
It's got everything
to do with me.
He's my son.
Him? This little prick
is your son?
Pop, you've got to
help me out here.
Shut up!
What are you talking about?
Wait, wait. Are you in on this?
Huh?
- What! ?
I asked you a fucking question.
You come clean with me now.
No! For God's sake,
what's the matter with you?
I didn't know nothing
about this!
Shithead here is your son?
Let me ask you a question.
How much you think
their two lives are worth?
Myself, I don't think they're...
worth piss, but hey,
he ain't my kid.
This shithead was up
That's 150 grand
that somebody's...
got to account for.
What do you say you cover
them both, 75 apiece, huh?
Come on, Shelly.
They didn't get away
with the money.
You haven't lost nothing.
- Go to work.
Pop! Pop!
- No, wait! Come on!
Jesus!
- Wait.
All right, all right.
God damn it. All right.
All right, all right.
I'm good for it. $150 G's.
I'm good for it.
It's all right, honey.
- Oh, my God, the contractions.
I need to go to the hospital.
- Come on, Shelly.
Oh, for God's sake, Shelly.
Will you help her out?
That's my grandkid.
Oh, my God, that's right.
That's Bernie's
grandchild in there.
You all right, sweetheart?
You need to go to
the hospital, huh?
Uh-huh.
- I'll bet you do.
Jesus!
- Charlene!
Hey, everybody look,
It's a boy!
Oh, can you believe this?
Bernie, you have a grandson!
Shelly: Bernie's got
a little grandson!
Isn't he cute? Isn't he cute?
I think he looks
like you, Bernie.
What do you think?
A nice healthy grandson.
Want to hold your
grandson, Bernie? Huh?
Break out the
champagne, everybody.
Bernie's a grandfather.
You still want
to make good on this?
If you want to
change your mind,
I don't blame you.
I'll make it up to you, Pop.
I swear.
I'm good for it.
All right, up on the
table, right now!
Whoa, whoa whoa--
Wait a second.
Shelly, we had a deal!
$150 G's buys their lives.
This is a little slap on the wrist
to remember me by.
Wait, wait.
- No, no!
Jesus, Shelly, no!
Come on.
Fuck!
I brought this on myself.
I planted the seeds.
When Angela had run off
with Mikey, I didn't--
I never made--
I never made an effort
to get back in his life.
I figured...
the kid don't need
a fucking loser for a father.
And now it's come full circle.
I give him the money,
I open the door to all this.
This-- I got this coming to me.
This is-- this is payback.
Are you done
beating yourself up, Bernie?
# My funny Valentine #...
# Sweet comic Valentine #...
# You... #...
# Make me smile
with my heart #...
# Your looks are laughable #...
# Unphotographable #...
# Yet... #...
# You're my favorite
work of art... #
Bernie...
are you awake?
I think that...
I love you.
No.
I don't think.
I'm pretty sure of it.
You blindsided me,
Bernie Lootz.
I never saw it coming.
You shouldn't do that to a girl.
There's so many things
you don't know,
that you should know.
Oh, fuck,
I don't want to ruin this.
It-- it don't matter.
It don't matter
what you come clean about,
it's not gonna change
the way I feel about you.
It's not.
Natalie, I...
I'd say it, but...
- Say it, just say it.
No, with my rotten luck--
Don't-- fuck rotten luck, Bernie.
That's over.
I love you, Natalie.
I really, really love you.
Trixie?
You came back?
# What a day this has been #...
# What a rare mood I'm in #...
# Why, it's almost like
being in love #...
# There's a smile
on my face #...
# For the whole
human race #...
# I would swear
I am falling in love... #
Tell Bernie to go to table six.
# All the music of life
seems to be #...
# Like a bell
that is ringing for me #...
# And from the way
that I feel #...
# When the bells
start to peal #...
# I would swear
I am falling #...
# I can swear
that I'm falling #...
# Well, it's almost like
being in love... #
Lovett, party of six,
your table is ready.
Duty calls.
Bye.
Yes!
# All the music
oflife seems to be #...
# Like a bell
that is ringing for me #...
# And from the way
that I feel #...
# When the bells
start to peal #...
# I would swear
I am falling #...
# I can swear
that I'm falling #...
# Well, it's almost
like being... #...
# Well, it's almost like
being in love. #
Hey, Shelly, check it out.
The new 'Mega Million.'
I call her 'Marnie.'
You know,
'cause she's one frigid broad.
You want to tell me
what's going on out there?
I don't know.
What do you mean
you don't know?
We're down almost
a mil out there.
Doesn't that seem
strange to you?
I guess I'm having an off day.
No, no, no.
You don't have off days, Lootz.
You're shitty luck incarnate.
What's wrong?
You coming down
with something?
You have this look about you.
No, no, I'm fine. As
a matter of fact,
I've never been better.
Give it a shot.
What's that
supposed to mean?
She loves me, Shelly.
She told me last night. Natalie.
Should I get her flowers
or candy?
What is happening
to you?
I think flowers.
Sweet Jesus!
You popped her cherries!
Shut the fuck up!
I'll stay.
- Scotch on the rocks.
Here you go, babe.
- Thanks.
Hi, Tone.
Hi, Shell.
Do you believe
those fucking kids yesterday?
Don't worry about
them, because...
you and I have
other problems now.
You have really
fucked things up...
big time, let me tell you.
I hired you to be
his 'cooze' companion,
not the true love
of his fucking life.
But no,
you have to go and
get all profound...
on the poor schmuck.
'I love you, Bernie.'
What the hell were
you thinking?
Those four words
of endearment...
have cost this casino...
one million and
counting today.
I don't understand
what that means.
Lady Luck.
You've heard of 'Lady Luck,'
haven't you?
Yeah.
That's what's
going on out there.
Lootz is Kryptonite
on a stick.
He should have them
throwing ice cubes right now,
but instead I've got
a meltdown on my hands.
So here's the situation:
you are out...
of his life, before
he even gets home.
Don't even tell him to his face.
Leave him a note.
I'm gonna make some
calls and you're...
gonna be situated
at another joint.
I don't think
I can do that, Shell.
Excuse me?
I said...
I don't think I can do that, Shell.
It wasn't an act.
I meant it.
You love him?
- Yeah.
I love the schmuck.
What the fuck is there to love?
He's a loser.
Always has been,
always will be.
I thought you were
a smart cookie...
when I picked you out.
You do not want
to fuck with me.
Because if you do,
your next john...
is going to be a
fucking rattlesnake...
in the fucking desert.
Do you understand me?
- Yeah.
Get out of here.
Hey, Natalie.
It doesn't matter.
Look.
A six-card 21?
Please!
# Can I steal a little love? #...
# Yeah, let me raid
a little love. #
Thank you, thank you.
You guys are too kind.
This next song I'd
like to do for you...
is dedicated to a
friend over there.
Brianna, this one's for you.
I want you to tell me
the truth, Shelly.
Did you say
something to Natalie?
Did you muscle her?
Jesus, Bernie. Is
that what you think?
That I would fuck
with your happiness?
That hurts me.
I don't know.
This guy is all flash.
No soul.
I miss Buddy.
It's just not the
same around here.
Buddy was tired.
I gave him the easy way out.
Things could have
been so much worse.
'Gave him the easy way out'?
What are you
talking about? He--
Buddy never would
have taken the buyout.
He would have stuck
to his guns...
right to the end.
They would have
ended up hurting him.
I could not allow
that to happen.
Jesus. You--...
you sit here and you justify it...
like you're Dr.
Kevorkian or something?
Hey, listen to me.
I loved that son of a bitch,
but his time was up.
What was I supposed
to do, leave him...
to those corporate
fucking scumbags?
What I did was a
humanitarian thing,
that I have no doubt about.
And afterwards I held
him in my arms...
and I cried like a fucking baby.
What?
What is this fucking look...
you're giving me now?
What is that, huh?
Televangelist:
There are the sins of the flesh.
There are the sins
of the gambling halls...
be it dice or in some cases,
'the devil's thumb papers.'
Let's take off tonight.
I can't do that.
I have an obligation
to Shelly. He--
Fuck Shelly.
He doesn't give a shit
about you, Bernie.
Let's just climb in your car...
and drive
the hell out of here tonight.
I can't do that, Natalie.
He'd come after me,
because you're with me.
I can't have that on me.
Okay.
Okay.
Winner!
Shelly! Shelly!
You have no fucking right!
Shelly, you got
no fucking right!
Shelly, I tried.
I couldn't do it.
Shelly-- Shelly--
I can't leave, Shell.
Shell, I love him.
Doesn't that mean
anything to you?
You heartless fuck.
I thought--
Bastard!
I thought he was your friend.
Who do you think you are?
Who the fuck do
you think you are?
You're nobody!
I could make you
disappear like that...
and not one fucking person
would miss you.
Not one fucking person!
- Bernie would!
He loves me.
He loves me...
and that kills you,
doesn't it, Shell?
That kills you!
That kills you, doesn't it?
He was your only friend...
and you crippled him.
You crippled him...
and he still stood by you,
but no more, Shell.
The only friends
you've got now...
are the fucking guys
on your payroll.
You don't own me
anymore, Shelly,
and you don't own Bernie.
We're leaving here tonight.
I am taking him...
and there is not a fucking thing
that you can do about it!
And you will be all alone!
- Is that right?
I love him.
Natalie?
Don't turn the light on.
I got a headache.
Did you take something?
I've got aspirin, I've got--
Yeah, I already
took something.
What--?
Oh, shit.
Natalie, what--
what happened to the mirror?
Natalie?
No, Bernie, don't.
Oh, shit-- Bernie!
Jesus Christ.
Natalie, who did this to you?
We've got to call the police.
I thought, 'Easy money.'
- What are you talking about?
Shelly.
He paid me to get close to you,
to keep you around.
Shelly...?
Yeah. Shelly.
You were right that first night.
I was for sale.
Bought and paid for.
You were the 'easy mark,'
Bernie.
At first I thought
that you were...
just another way to make
a quick buck, you know?
And then I started
to take a closer look.
And for the first time,
you were somebody
who wasn't trying to hustle me,
somebody who wasn't
trying to pretend...
he was someone he wasn't.
Just a decent guy,
trying to get back on track.
And it didn't hurt any...
that you put me
up on a pedestal.
It sure puts the gutter
in perspective.
Shelly paid you?
Shelly wants me gone.
He says I bring you luck.
'Lady Luck.'
I stayed to tell
you to your face...
and I knew you wouldn't...
want me no more and
I could just go.
We've got to get
you to the hospital.
We'll talk about this later.
Tell me again, Bernie.
Tell me everything's
gonna be okay.
Everything's gonna be fine.
This is our time.
This is you and me...
and we're going for it.
Oh, my God.
Hey.
You look in the mirror,
you don't like...
what you see, don't believe it.
Look in my eyes.
I am the only mirror
you're ever gonna need.
You look into my eyes,
Natalie.
Bernie, Bernie, wait, wait.
Your chart that first night--
I wasn't being
straight with you.
It is the worst
chart I've ever seen.
There's nothing in the cards
for you, I'm telling you.
No, don't you see?
That was before.
That was before
you opened up...
your heart to me.
Everything's different now.
I got Lady Luck on my side.
Nothing's gonna
happen to me.
Wait.
Here. Look,
I got $3,000 he paid me.
Maybe Shelly
will take it as a down payment,
and we can pay
in installments,
when we get settled, okay?
I don't think $3,000--
- Come on, take it, Bernie!
...street vendors in
your face. I walk...
up there, I'd want
to shoot myself.
I suppose you'd like
that freak show, huh, Harvard?
Yeah, I do.
It brings people downtown into...
the casino. That is
good for business.
Oof!
- Hey!
You lay another finger on her,
I swear to God, I'll kill you.
Are you listening to me?
I will fucking kill you.
Why, Shelly?
How could you do that
to her?
Because I never let go
of a good thing, Bernie,
and you are a very, very
good thing.
The best cooler there ever was
and I need him back.
He ain't never coming back.
That is a dead man talking.
Shelly...
I'm done with this joint,
Natalie and me.
We are out of here.
I'll get a job out in the world.
I'll send you half
my paycheck every month.
I'll make good on
my commitment.
Bernie, if you bail on me,
they're gonna throw
your fucking ass...
off the roof of this building...
snatch the broad,
and throw her...
right the fuck on top of you.
I don't think so,
'cause if you whack me,
then Bernie Lootz
ain't the biggest...
loser in the world no more.
That honor is gonna rest
upon you, Shelly.
And maybe you
had it all along.
I'm the loser?
What do you got,
other than this joint?
What more do I need?
- You got nothing.
This place-- your legacy,
it's a mirage.
You turn your back,
it don't even exist.
There's no night,
there's no day,
it's just one big fucking blur
and it don't count for nothing.
You believe this fucking guy?
I feel sorry for you,
Shelly.
You're the worst kind
of gambler there is,
too scared to throw
his chips on the table.
Too scared to extend
any real kind of friendship.
Always scared he's gonna
end up out in the desert.
Well, sweet
fucking dreams pal.
I'm out.
If that's where it ends,
that's where it ends.
Jesus Christ, that's
such a fucking...
touching speech, Bernie.
All that Jimmy Stewart bullshit,
I got such a lump in my throat,
I can't tell you.
But it doesn't change a thing.
If you don't make
good on my 150 G's,
I'm gonna close
the books on you.
You and the broad.
You leave me no choice.
Change only.
Change.
$3,000.
Yo, 11, pay the line.
Winner, seven.
Six easy. Easy way six.
Winner. Front line.
Hey, Shelly,
take a look at number four.
Winner.
Okay, folks, we're
coming out now.
Hold bets, curb checks,
C&E is 11.
Come on, man,
make me some money.
Winner, seven.
What the fuck is
going on here?
Where have you been?
Not now.
Bullshit. Shut him
down right now.
Shut him down or I will.
- Not here.
Come take a walk with me.
What is your interest
in this, Shelly?
Because you know what I see?
I see your guy taking
us to the fucking...
cleaners, and I'll
tell you one thing.
He's not leaving here
with a fucking dime.
Now listen to me,
you little Harvard turd.
Lootz is all right,
so he's walking out of here...
with everything he's
got coming to him.
If you so much as touch...
one fucking hair on
his fucking head,
I'm gonna fucking
wallpaper this fucking...
bathroom with
your fucking ass,
do you understand me?
Muted tones, isn't
that what you said?
Huh? I can't hear you.
Wait, wait a minute.
There it is.
Blended in, at a subsonic level,
like some kind of mantra,
'Pain, pain, pain.'
Please...
Come on, come on.
Big roll. Big roll, buddy.
Here we go, here we go.
He must be up over 100 grand!
Gray craps, line away.
Here we go.
Okay.
Hit it again. Come on.
Come on now. Come on.
What the fuck? Not all of it!
$80,000.
On the field?
Is he fucking crazy?
Don't do it.
Thank you, God.
Thank you, God.
Thank you, God.
It's all right, right?
You guys worked it out...
and he took the money?
It's okay, right?
You want me to
get that, Shelly?
Bernie?
Can you tell me
what happened?
Yeah. Yeah.
Why-- why are we stopping,
Bernie?
I think-- I think--
Oh, God damn.
What the fuck happened
in there?
What? What?
What!
- Look. Look.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Natalie, I won. I won.
- Oh, my God!
How much! ? How much! ?
- A lot.
Bahamas, here we come.
Step out of the car, please.
What's the problem, Officer?
Step out of the
car, both of you.
Officer, my driving, it--
I'm sorry if we were driving
a little fast, we're a bit excited.
We won a shitload of money
at the Shangri-La.
You didn't win nothing.
Now both of you, turn around.
Get down on your knees.
Now.
Jesus Christ, Bern,
Jesus Christ.
The kid just wants
you should know, Shelly,
he's just protecting
our investment...
...the old-school way.
I'll see you around,
my friend.
I knew it was too good
to be true.
Who were we kidding?
It's a drunk driver.
This is just--
this is just freaky luck.
It was freaky accident.
Gentlemen, I want to thank you
for your vote of confidence.
As the new director
of casino operations,
I want to make a
personal guarantee...
to each and every one of you...
that your investment in the Golden
Shangri-La will be well looked after.
The future looks very bright,
gentlemen.
Very, very bright.
They're killing us.
We need him here right away.
Yeah!
Come on, baby.
Come on, come on!
Come on!
Seven out.
Oh, man!
Come to Papa--
Hey, what the hell? !
God damn it, that's supposed
to be an $800 jackpot.
Afternoon, Doris.
- Hey.
Got any cream?
- Sure.
Oh, shit.
- Oh, it doesn't matter.
Dewar's and--
Fuck!
Dewar's and water, please.
Hi, Natalie.
Hey...
- Bernie.
Shit, motherfucker!
Yeah, Bernie.
Yo, Doris, have you seen
Shelly around?
He promised to position me
at the tables tonight.
I've been on skid row all week.
You didn't settle up
with me last night.
No? You sure?
Fuck, I was way under.
It's been like an AA convention
around here.
I'll make it up to you tonight,
I promise.
Where have I
heard that before?
If I see Shelly, I'll tell him...
- Thanks.
...that you're looking for him.
Conway, party of 11.
Please check your reservation
in the Paradise Lounge.
Hey, Bernie,
Shelly needs you on 11.
All right.
Let's do the Chivas Regal.
And have that--
have Natalie bring it over,
the one working
the nickel slots...
by the Paradise.
I spoke to Shelly earlier.
He wants her out on the tables.
All right.
I'll take care of it.
Great shot.
How about that?
Hi. It's you, right?
Yeah, over here.
Joe said
I should stick around.
You say something
to Shelly?
Um-hmm.
Wow, that was fast.
Thanks.
Don't mention it.
It's over here.
I'll win you a fortune
on five and nine.
Did you order
the Chivas Regal?
Hey, back off, will you, pal?
Can't you see I got a roll here?
Seven out, line away.
- That motherfucker.
Thanks for the bet, folks.
- Yeah, yeah, I'm coming.
Oh! Shoot!
Better luck next time.
Ah-hh.
Shelly, they're here.
- Relax, Shorty.
Hey. Nicky, you didn't tell me
you were coming.
I'm having a manicure here.
You think I don't wash up
after going to the john, huh?
Forget about it. You look like
a million bucks. How are you?
You should have called ahead.
I would have sent the car.
No, we figured
we'd surprise you.
Anytime, Nicky, anytime.
I know that, partner.
Shelly, let me
introduce you to our...
brightest VP here.
This is Larry Sokolov.
His numbers guy,
Marty Goldfarb.
How do you do, Shelly?
Can I get you
something to drink?
I'd love a vodka tonic,
thanks.
...comes out of the
confessional and she...
says, 'Move over,
I have to gargle.'
So Nicky,
what brings you to town?
Shelly, I've got
a smart kid here.
He's got some good ideas...
about how to revitalize
the Shangri-La.
Revitalize? What are
you talking about?
We did $35 million last year.
Nicky: Why don't you
just hear the kid out, huh?
Shelly, I want you to
know that I have...
nothing but the utmost
respect for you.
You've done a
tremendous job with...
the Shangri-La over
the last 16 years.
I don't think anybody
can dispute that.
Nicky:
Yeah, nobody doubts
that, Shell.
But the business has changed.
Just take a look at the Strip,
you'll see what
I'm talking about.
What?
You mean that Disneyland
mookfest out there? Huh?
Come on, you know
what that is?
Huh? That's a fucking violation
is what that is.
It's something that used
to be beautiful.
It used to have class,
like a gorgeous
high-priced hooker...
with an exclusive clientele.
Then along comes
that Steve Wynn cocksucker...
and knocks her up
and puts her...
in a fucking family way.
Now, she's nothing
but a cheap fat whore...
hiding behind
too much make-up.
I look at her and see
her stretch marks.
It makes me want
to cry, because
I remember the way
she used to be.
Am I right?
There's no arguing
the bottom line.
Those places are raking it in...
and the Shangri-La
as she is now...
can't compete with that.
You think I'm trying
to compete with that?
You think that's
what we're about,
trying to bring in
the stroller crowd,
fresh off some 'E-ticket'
ride, trying...
to break the house
on red and black?
Fremont has never been
about that bullshit.
This is where old time
and real money come to play.
The numbers don't
back you up...
on that, Shelly.
Don't get me wrong.
Nostalgia is great
and we love nostalgia...
...but nostalgia
belongs in a museum.
I think it comes a
time to decide...
whether you're
running a museum...
or you're running a casino.
Bernie.
'Mr. Cool.'
You got a minute?
I was just heading over to 14.
- It can wait.
How's the knee?
I met this orthopedic surgeon...
at Vegas Memorial.
He tells me...
they can rebuild a man's
entire kneecap out of titanium.
Oh, of course it costs
a shitload of money,
but seeing as this
gentleman is into us...
for 500 large, I thought maybe--
I told you, I'm not
gonna be here...
after Sunday.
Where are you gonna go,
Bernie?
Where the fuck are
you gonna go...
that's better than here?
I've got you covered
in this town.
People know you work for me.
That's currency
in your pocket.
That's fucking respect,
when you walk the floor.
Where are you gonna get that,
anyplace else?
Seven days, Shelly...
I'm out from under.
Excuse me, sweetheart.
What's your name,
darling? Never mind.
This is who I am.
Yeah, that's right. I
like to know who's...
shopping it around
in my neighborhood,
so what you do is
be in my office...
first thing tomorrow morning,
if you want to continue...
to work here at
the Shangri-La...
and you and I will go over
the rules together.
I also want you to
bring me a clean...
bill of health.
All right, my dear?
Okay.
- All right, thank you.
How'd you like
to 'birdie' that hole, huh?
Say the word and
she's yours anytime.
I'll keep a running tab for you.
Nah.
What? What? She's
not your type?
Are you kidding me?
I've got to go.
Things are heating up on 14.
Let's do it in the room.
Kim, I think we got our laundry...
mixed up. I-- I'll
talk to you later.
Come on, let's go back
to the room.
$50 bucks only gets
you 20 minutes, man.
You're wasting your time.
Your soul is crippled.
I'm gonna change that.
Pray with me now.
Out, demon!
Let the crutches go!
Let the spirit into you!
Run with me!
Fuck me harder!
Harder! Oh!
Oh, yeah, baby.
I like that. Come on.
Come on, come on.
You're so big!
You do? Hallelujah!
The Lord has shown
his face once again.
You gonna come all over me?
Oh, yeah, come all over me.
Let's do this, man.
Eight, the hard way.
$900 for Mr. Pinkerton.
- Seven and Seven.
Thanks, doll face.
- Jesus Christ!
Shit, I'm sorry.
- Don't worry about it.
I'm so sorry.
I'm such a fucking klutz.
No, this stuff happens.
- Oh, my God.
I'm sorry. This guy--
fucking hands all over my ass.
You might want
to stick around.
I came to play.
Come again, sister,
in the name of Pinkie.
Take this.
Hard eight, huh?
How you like that?
Suck on that.
That's right. Give
me them dice.
Damn right.
One dollar,
hard eight.
All right, everybody,
get in. Here we go.
We'll bet $10.
Out! Seven out.
- Shit! God!
What the fuck are you
smiling at, bitch?
Whoa, whoa... easy.
Fellas?
You think it's fucking funny?
- Take it easy, man.
Think it's funny this
place is stealing...
my-- fucking numb-nuts,
let go of me.
I'll have you fired,
you piece-of-shit...
bitch! Piece of
fucking garbage!
# But now I couldn't do
without my supply #...
# I need you for my own #...
# Oh, I can't break away
I must have you every day #...
# As regularly as coffee
or tea #...
# You got me in your clutches
and I can't break free #...
# You're getting to be
a habit with me... #
Oh, Shelly.
I love you, Shelly.
He's the man,
he's the best man. Salut.
No, no, no.
He hates that shit.
He really does.
# I used to think your love... #...
# Was something that I... #...
# Could take... #...
# Or leave alone #...
# But now I couldn't do
without my supply... #...
There he is.
- Hey.
Shelly, I was a fucking
embarrassment...
out there, do you
understand that?
You should never have...
talked me into going
out there, Shelly.
I should have never let you.
Frank is rolling
over in his grave.
I've got strep, man.
You understand that?
I've got strep.
Listen to me, Pops, you were...
pure velvet out there.
It was just silk.
And also, looky-looky
what was hanging...
on the doorknob. Huh?
Forget about your tonsils.
When the muff confetti
stops coming,
that's when you know
you got trouble.
Did you get a receipt?
Excuse me?
- They're on sale in the lobby.
Charlayne's. This is
'Victoria's Secret
Valentine Collection.'
What about that broad
you got coming here later?
How much did she set
you back? Nothing...
but the best for
old Buddy, right?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Gimme, you don't deserve this.
You got all those
ladies going home...
with a nice breeze
between their legs,
'cause you do it
the way they like it...
and you're saying I'm some
Buddy Stafford
ego pimp, huh?
Hey, fuck you
and-- fuck you.
Come on, give it to me.
Give it to me, man.
Come on, come on!
Come on, don't be a prick.
Come on, man.
Come on, give it to me!
Come on, man.
Oh, fuck! Fuck!
Do you ever watch
any of those nature shows?
What?
You know, those
nature shows.
You watch them?
Yeah, I've seen
a few nature shows.
Yeah? Well, this one I've seen
about a dozen times.
It's about... lions.
It's about...
the cycle of life of the lions...
and the leader of the pack.
'Pride'. With lions it's a pride.
- Yeah.
This old king lion, right?
He's getting on in years...
and then sooner or later...
some young male
comes along.
He challenges him...
and he beats...
the fuck out of this
old lion, right?
He just kicks the
shit out of him.
And then... then they push him
out of the pride...
and he has to go in the jungle...
and scavenge and
he dies alone.
The nature's got
some sense of humor, huh?
No shit.
See, but Shelly,
it's tragic because...
he's past it,
this old fucked lion...
and he doesn't know it...
and it would be so
much easier for him,
if he could just...
walk away.
And... he could
avoid all the pain...
and the humiliation.
Hey...
that would be like accepting...
that you were dead
already, right?
I think I like it better
nature's way, don't you?
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Yeah, that's it.
Buy you a drink?
Yeah.
Shelly, you got a minute?
Shelly, this is
Johnny Cappella.
How you doing, Shelly?
I know you from
some place, right?
Johnny's been opening
for Danny Ganz at the Mirage.
Now Sony is talking
about signing him...
to a three-album deal.
They're going to position him
as the new Harry Connick.
And I should be
interested in this... why?
Johnny's looking to headline.
I thought we might
be interested.
We?
- Did I come at a bad time?
Even if I was interested,
I got fresh ink with Buddy
for the next five years.
I just renegotiated his contract.
Listen, you two need to be
on the same page.
Larry, listen, if I don't
hear from you by Thursday,
I'm taking the Stardust.
All right? I'm going there.
I understand.
- Johnny Cappella, gone.
We'll definitely be
in touch, Johnny.
Assholes.
Your progressed
Venus is in Gemini...
and it's in direct motion,
which means...
...you're a slow starter
when it comes to romance.
Sorry. You know what?
This is real
unprofessional of me.
I shouldn't discuss your chart
with you until I'm all done.
I can tell by the
look on your face...
you think this is all a lot of B.S.
No, I just... I know what
the outcome's gonna be.
There's not like one
particular outcome.
A lot of things come
into the picture, like...
the planets, the moon phases--
The outcome won't
change with me.
It'll be all bad.
- Oh, my God.
I have never met anyone...
who was so down
on themselves.
Do you know
what I do at the Shangri-La?
I asked around.
You're a cooler.
You turn winners into losers.
- Do you know how I do that?
Listen, I know there's
a lot of stuff...
that happens in
casinos all the time.
I do it by being myself.
People get next to
me, their luck turns.
It's always been that way.
Well, that sounds...
like a self-fulfilling
prophecy to me.
There's a whole chapter
of that in my book...
I only got six more days.
Well... really almost five.
I'm leaving town.
Only five more days?
Then we shouldn't waste
any more time.
You want to go back
to your place?
If this is--
I'm not sure...
I'm not sure I can afford...
I can't afford to--
- Christ.
Oh, God. I'm sorry.
Wait, I didn't mean it.
See, this is what
I'm talking about.
I've gone and cooled
the damn table.
Shut up, Bernie,
shut up.
You haven't gone
and cooled anything.
Not by a long shot.
Oh, God.
You know...
once they're dead,
they don't really grow back...
in case that's
what you were waiting for.
Oh, my God, you got a cat?
So... you got any music?
Hey...
come here.
Sit.
Relax, Bernie, relax.
I assure you...
at least one of us
has done this before.
This is not the first time
I've ever--
Surprise me.
I like this.
# Luck, be a lady tonight #...
# Luck, be a lady tonight #...
# Luck, if you've
ever been a lady...
to begin with #...
# Luck, be a lady tonight #...
# Luck, let a gentleman see #...
# How nice a girl
you can be #...
# I know the way
you've treated...
other guys you've
been with... #...
They're snaps.
- I think I can get it.
Ow! Wait. Pull down some.
Okay.
- Ouch!
I'm sorry.
- It's okay. It's okay.
# It isn't fair...#
Oh, God.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, shit.
# A lady doesn't wander
all over the room #...
# And blow
on some other guy's dice #...
# So let's keep
this party polite #...
# Never get out of my sight #...
# Stick with me, baby,
I'm the fella you
came in with #...
# Luck, be a lady tonight... #
Sorry.
# Luck, let a gentleman see... #
It's okay, Bernie.
I've had worse.
Oh, shit. Oh, God.
I know I'm gonna pay for this,
I just--
I don't know who you are
or what-- I don't...
This was good and I'm glad.
I don't care.
You've got a great cock.
You've--
Thank you.
So...
want to go get
some breakfast?
They've got these rules
about casinos hiring felons,
so he got me a gig
in telemarketing.
We were scamming
pensioners...
out of their retirement money.
I lasted two weeks.
Here you go.
- By that time...
I was really getting in deep.
I owed one of the casinos
over a hundred grand.
I put Shelly
in a really awkward position.
I don't blame him
for what he did.
What?
Your leg?
He did that to you?
He shot you?
- No. Baseball bat.
I got off easy.
What do you mean
you 'got off easy'?
I was out of control.
He maimed you,
for fuck's sake!
Listen to me.
I'm grateful for what he did.
I am absolutely serious.
Anytime I get an urge
to play off the clock...
or so much as drop
a quarter in a slot,
I just reach down and feel
what's left of my cartilage.
It's an excellent reminder.
- Jesus Christ.
I thought shit like that
only happened in the movies.
Anyway, Shelly and
I worked out...
a repayment plan.
Six years off the books...
at the Shangri-La
cooling tables...
and in five days...
- Three.
Oh! Oh, shit.
Oh, my God! Now?
Are you sure?
I'm going into labor.
Yeah, I'm going into labor.
Ow-ww!
Deep breaths, deep breaths.
Stay very calm.
Okay, everybody, we're having
a baby, we're having a baby.
You fucking cocksucker!
Who puts their bag...
in the middle of
the fucking thing...
so a pregnant woman
can trip over it?
Mikey?
- Bernie.
I guess you're gonna be
a grandfather, Bernie.
Huh. Is this you?
Hey, what the fuck,
it runs.
Here, sit down.
You all right?
- Yeah.
Anyway, we've got
to get out of here.
Hey, Mikey.
How's your mom doing?
I'm gonna pretend
like you give a shit...
and tell you she's getting by
as long as she's high.
Her name is Charlene,
in case you were wondering.
Hey, when's the last time
you saw a doctor?
About six months ago,
back in Jersey.
I wasn't about to go back there
after they treated me like cattle.
Just 'cause I had
no insurance, you know?
All those places are crawling
with TB from them spics.
Listen, Mikey,
if you want to...
why don't you drop by
the Bettor Life Motel,
give us a chance to...
to catch up?
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
maybe we'll do that.
Play catch up,
for the kid's sake.
Thanks.
- Don't mention it.
$100 minimum table, sir.
No offense, pal,
but there's 20
other tables here.
What do you want to come
sit on my head for?
I'm just gonna play one hand.
I'm feeling lucky tonight.
I've got this voice in my head
that says, 'This is the table.'
Insurance?
- No.
Oh, yes! Yes, yes!
Busto! Mel,
what's happening to you?
Oh, yeah, welcome
to Mel's house.
Hey, where are you going?
Stick around, pal.
You and me, we make
a great team. Hey!
What was that?
I mean, what the fuck gives?
Is it McGann?
The guy's been
with me 12 years.
He's as stand-up as
my fucking dick.
Maybe he's having
money problems.
I'm gonna pull him.
No, no, no.
- Was he counting them?
The mook with the streak?
- Is there a problem?
No, there's no problem.
Fella's on a streak, is all.
Let me guess,
this is one of your 'coolers'?
Why don't you announce
it to the whole...
fucking joint while you're at it?
They told me that
you were a sticker...
for the old ways, but coolers?
What is this guy, really?
A car mechanic?
Some kind of shill?
'Cause he doesn't look
too effective to me.
He's the best. Take it from me.
- All right. Sure. Whatever.
There are ways--
subtle ways--...
that we can keep the odds
in our favor.
I'm talking about more
forward-thinking methods.
I'm sure you've got
a whole prospectus...
on the subject, right?
Well, as a matter of fact,
yeah, I do.
For instance,
I can tell you right off the bat...
the wallpaper's
not gonna cut it.
It's too uplifting.
I would suggest going
with some more muted tones.
Wallpaper?
- Yeah. And personally,
I think the cocktail waitresses...
could pop another
button or two.
Myself, I wouldn't hire
anything less than a 'C' cup.
You know what that is?
- No.
It's music to be sure.
It's pleasant, not intrusive,
but recorded
at a subsonic level is a mantra.
'Lose... lose... lose.'
We're just skimming
the surface, Shelly.
We really need to talk.
Shelly?
You better come quick.
Contact his daughter...
and assist with
the arrangements.
The Shangri-La
will cover all expenses.
What about the Paradise?
- She's going dark tonight.
Er, that won't be necessary.
# Can I steal a little love? #...
# Can I steal a little love? #...
# Cool me honey,
I'm on fire #...
# To steal your love
is my desire #...
# Hug me, squeeze me,
till I'm red #...
# Till my eyes
bug out my head #...
# Coo me, woo me,
turtledove #...
# Can I steal a little love? #...
# Please tell me,
why are you driving
me crazy? #...
# Why do I dig you
like I do? #...
# If I should steal a little kiss,
and you can prove that
it was wrong #...
# Then I'll give it
back to you #...
# Honey, baby with a smile #...
# I can walk you
down the aisle #...
# I won't even need
a shove #...
# Can I steal a little love? #
Young lady, over here.
You want to give it a shot?
Yeah. Come here.
- Five for $1.
Thanks, Bernie.
- Good luck.
Are you ready?
Shit.
All right, double fisted.
Damn!
Too bad. Better luck next time.
You want to try again?
- Yes.
No, no, no. Thank you.
- Thanks.
What?
- Nothing.
What?
- You're an easy mark, is all.
I'm an easy mark?
You know where
that comes from?
No.
Years ago, Shelly
and me were working
Coney Island for the summer...
and when I'd see a
guy who had a full...
wallet and was
willing to open it up,
I'd mark him with chalk.
I'd put it on my hand
and go something like,
'Hey, man, good work.'
'Hey, buddy, how you doing?'
What the guy didn't realize...
was that when he walked
down the way...
Shelly could spot
him a mile off.
An easy mark.
Thanks a lot, Bernie.
I've got to sit.
Hi.
You okay?
- Yeah.
Did you notice, last night,
that tattoo on my butt?
Little Joe?
- Yeah.
Yeah, two 2's.
'Little Joe.'
I had a son.
His name was Joe.
I was his mother for one year.
You don't have to tell me this.
- No, I want to, Bernie.
I gave my son up for adoption.
I just wanted my life back.
I was 17 going on 18...
and I was so fucking selfish.
My family didn't want nothing
to do with me after that,
so I hitched a ride out here...
and thought
I'd make it as a showgirl.
I'd like to think that
if it happened...
when I was older,
with a guy that I cared about,
that it would have
been different, you know?
I think about my little
Joe sometimes...
and I do know I did
the right thing.
I'm convinced of that.
Natalie...
I think...
I think I could kick your ass
at the dime toss.
# You may not be
an angel #...
# 'Cause angels
are so few #...
# But until the day
that one comes along... #...
Would you do
something for me?
# I'll string along with you... #
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
Bernie!
- Yes!
Oh, yeah.
Ow! Ow! Jesus, ow.
Oh, yeah!
Bernie, let's do it up the ass.
- Okay.
Please, please?
- Okay, okay.
No, my ass!
- Oh!
# And until the day
that one comes along... #
Yes!
Shut the fuck up in there!
Did we wake you?
# For every little fauIt
that you have #...
# See, I've got three or four #...
# The human little fauIts
you do have #...
# Just make me
love you more... #
I have to pee.
I'm always peeing.
Hey.
How did you get in here?
I told the desk clerk
Bernie was my old man.
He let us wait inside.
Is that cool with you?
Bernie is out
looking for a parking space.
I must have taken the last one.
I didn't get your name.
- Natalie, Mikey.
Tell me something, Natalie,
is he paying you?
Excuse me?
My old man,
is he renting your ass?
Because, otherwise,
I just don't get it.
I mean,
a loser like my pops...
in the company
of some primo tits and ass?
It don't compute.
Is this enough
to get me a little taste?
Family discount?
Are you kidding me?
- No, baby.
Mikey!
- Hey, Bernie.
I told you we was
gonna stop by.
I thought you'd call ahead first.
We were at breakfast.
Hey. Hey.
You missed some.
Hey, that's nice.
Hi.
- Hi.
You see, Bernie, the thing is...
we're kind of strapped.
I mean, Charly here
is expecting like yesterday.
And we don't have the
dough to make with...
the right nutrition
for her and all.
So I was wondering...
if you would like to
invest a little...
maybe in your
grandchild's future,
his well-being.
It's almost three grand.
That's all I got.
That's-- that's
very generous.
Bless you, Bernie.
You want to feel it?
You know, I really--
I don't think...
Oh-- I just feIt a kick.
Come on, Bernie,
give me your hand.
You feel that?
- I don't know. I think so.
Hey, we'll catch
you later, Bernie.
Okay.
Thanks.
Take care, Dad.
New Shangri-La
Hotel and Casino.
We break ground on
her in six months.
She's perfect.
Three floors of gaming,
Imax theater,
entertainment center,
boutiques, restaurants,
roller coaster.
You name it, we've got it.
She pays for herself
in three years.
After that, it's easy money.
Isn't she great, Shell?
ln 'Lost Horizon,
' these people,
their plane crashes
in the Himalayas...
and they get rescued,
Taken to this Utopia
in the mountains, Shangri-La.
It's beautiful.
Totally isolated,
untouched by the
outside world.
No war, no greed,
no bullshit.
Time has slowed down.
You never age.
It's paradise.
You see, that's
what Shangri-La is.
It's paradise.
Yeah, we've seen
the movie, Shelly.
What's your point?
My point is,
you don't fuck with paradise.
Come on. Jesus, Shelly.
Hey, we're not trying
to fuck with it.
We're trying to make it better.
- How?
How you gonna make it better?
It's perfect just the way it is.
It's the last of its kind.
It's pure.
This-- this is a
fucking mockery.
How is it a mockery, Shelly?
It's right out of the movie.
Who's talking about a movie?
This is not a movie.
This is my fucking life.
Let me ask you one question,
where are you gonna be...
when they decide
to change it back?
When people want the
real Vegas again,
before all this 'Epcot
Center' bullshit?
Who's gonna give it to them?
You? I don't think so.
You know who?
The same fucks...
who started this in
the first place.
You know what's
gonna happen?
It's gonna come
around full circle...
and bite you on
the fucking ass,
take my words for it.
Shelly, you make
some good points, huh?
Maybe we'll swing
back the other way...
someday. Who the hell knows?
But for now, this moment,
I suggest we shoot the dice.
My friend, I think
you should take some time...
just to think things through.
I know this is a lot to digest,
I know that.
Wait up a second.
What do you say?
I thought we were
gonna go eat.
Why don't you try
this table over here?
It's a little less crowded.
No, let's play here.
It's my lucky table.
I always play here.
Come on,
it's more private over here.
Shelly, I'm a big guy. I know
how to take care of myself.
Go ahead. I know
how to find you.
Go ahead. Go eat.
Here we go.
Come on.
Out! Seven, line away.
What the fuck?
Come on, 'Pops.'
What the hell?
I could have paid my mortgage
with the money I just lost.
File a grievance, all right?
Shithead.
Come on,
give me two hot ones.
Come on, new shooter.
Nicky:
Give me 100 on right,
All right, shooter. Come on.
Hey, hurry up,
Gramps! Come on,
your soup's getting cold, huh?
Four, hard four.
- Give me $25 yellow.
Hey, 'Uncle Palsy'...
come on, throw
them before you...
fucking keel over
and die, old man.
Be there!
Seven, out. Line away.
Thanks for the bets, folks.
Don't take it so hard, Pops.
Everybody craps out.
Now go fucking change
your Depends.
That's good.
Who's laughing now?
Crack wise now,
you fucking 'Ken doll'
no-dick, suburbanite,
fucking scum.
Huh? Now how's that
for a game?
Nicky, Nicky. Hey, it's all right.
- Get the fuck out of here!
Disrespectful cocksucker!
Nicky:
How do you like
the game so far?
Nicky, Nicky, take it easy.
Come on. Come on, come on!
That ain't right!
The guy fucked up
my whole game.
Who the fuck does
he think he is?
You're right. Forget about him,
he's just a piece of shit.
Let me see your hand.
- My hand is all right.
I got news for you. I
thought this joint...
had more fucking class, okay?
It used to be we
didn't let a bum...
like that in this fucking place.
Come on.
This town...
this town, you know,
all-- all I want to do...
is go some place
where I can tell night from day,
where they've got
clocks on the walls.
I can't breathe here anymore.
Four days and I'm
gone. I don't even...
know if I can hold out that long.
So where does that
leave us, Bernie?
A week ago,
I couldn't even
remember what it was...
like to have a
woman's hands on me.
I still pinch myself.
I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up--
Come with me.
Natalie, I want you
to come with me.
God, Bernie.
- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to
spring it on you.
I-- I've been working on this
compatibility chart, okay?
And it looks good,
really it does.
So, what's the problem?
The problem is it's
only good here.
But that's just for now,
for the immediate future.
You know, when the
planets realign...
maybe next year...
A year! ? Natalie,
I can't wait another year.
I can't--
I can't go, Bernie.
Hi, Doris.
- Hey.
Oh, shit.
Just a second.
Chang, party of 15,
your table is ready.
Chang, party of 15.
All right.
- Come on, papa-to-be!
Come on, y'all.
I want to send my
baby to college.
Six and a three,
five and a four. Let's go.
This is for our baby's future.
Don't 'blow ' it.
This is for you.
This one's on the line
for the guys with bowties,
with shoes.
- Oh, yeah.
Dealer's got shoes.
The point's nine.
Let's get that.
A six and a three,
a five and a four,
Let's do it. Can we get it?
Can we get it? Come on.
We got a shooter.
Hi, Bernie.
Fucking rock star!
Give me them dice back.
Okay, pay me, moron,
pay me. Come on!
$9,000, $9,000.
- Give him $9,000.
We're on a streak here.
Move it, move it, move it.
God bless you all.
Point is nine. Point is nine.
Let me get all the hard ways...
for 'Team Moron'
here, okay? All right.
This is great!
- For you guys, all right?
Here we go.
- Come on.
Six and three. Five and four.
- This is for the baby.
Come on.
Oh, oh, careful!
Come on, guys, with
the cigarettes.
We've got a pregnant
woman here.
Put them out. I'm winning
you guys money. Come on!
Come on.
All right.
What gives?
He's up 18,000
since I stepped up to the table.
Sorry, Shelly. I'm kind of
hit-or-miss these days.
$9,000, $9,000. Oh, baby.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I can feel a kick.
Fucking amateurs.
Let's get it. Let's get it!
Nope. That's it. Line away.
Guys, I thank you.
My pregnant wife thanks you.
My unborn child
thanks you very much, okay?
Color me up, will you?
And keep one of these
little blue ones for yourself.
Thank you very much.
That's quite a run
you had there, champ.
Oh, yeah, lucky!
Lucky night, I guess, huh?
- It's so exciting to watch, too.
If you don't mind,
I'd like to settle
this in my office.
I don't like to lay out
that kind of cash on the floor.
We'll go up there, relax a bit,
have a drink,
name your poison,
a little apple juice
for the mother-to-be here.
Seriously?
- Yeah.
Should I take this
stuff with me?
No.
Yeah...
Okay, that is not
how I propose we handle this.
We turn this matter
over to the authorities.
They'll be blacklisted,
their credit ruined--
Then, I suppose I should stick...
a fucking lollipop
in their mouths...
for the ride home, huh?
Let me tell you
something, 'Harvard,'...
come upstairs with
me in my office,
watch and learn how to protect...
your investments
the old-school way.
Fuck.
Ow, ow, ow... ow!
All right. Here we go
everybody. Let's go.
Shelly? Shelly!
Shelly, wait a second.
Get off me! No!
Shelly, wait. Wait!
Don't, don't. Don't do this.
Stay out of this, Bernie.
It's got nothing to do with you.
It's got everything
to do with me.
He's my son.
Him? This little prick
is your son?
Pop, you've got to
help me out here.
Shut up!
What are you talking about?
Wait, wait. Are you in on this?
Huh?
- What! ?
I asked you a fucking question.
You come clean with me now.
No! For God's sake,
what's the matter with you?
I didn't know nothing
about this!
Shithead here is your son?
Let me ask you a question.
How much you think
their two lives are worth?
Myself, I don't think they're...
worth piss, but hey,
he ain't my kid.
This shithead was up
That's 150 grand
that somebody's...
got to account for.
What do you say you cover
them both, 75 apiece, huh?
Come on, Shelly.
They didn't get away
with the money.
You haven't lost nothing.
- Go to work.
Pop! Pop!
- No, wait! Come on!
Jesus!
- Wait.
All right, all right.
God damn it. All right.
All right, all right.
I'm good for it. $150 G's.
I'm good for it.
It's all right, honey.
- Oh, my God, the contractions.
I need to go to the hospital.
- Come on, Shelly.
Oh, for God's sake, Shelly.
Will you help her out?
That's my grandkid.
Oh, my God, that's right.
That's Bernie's
grandchild in there.
You all right, sweetheart?
You need to go to
the hospital, huh?
Uh-huh.
- I'll bet you do.
Jesus!
- Charlene!
Hey, everybody look,
It's a boy!
Oh, can you believe this?
Bernie, you have a grandson!
Shelly: Bernie's got
a little grandson!
Isn't he cute? Isn't he cute?
I think he looks
like you, Bernie.
What do you think?
A nice healthy grandson.
Want to hold your
grandson, Bernie? Huh?
Break out the
champagne, everybody.
Bernie's a grandfather.
You still want
to make good on this?
If you want to
change your mind,
I don't blame you.
I'll make it up to you, Pop.
I swear.
I'm good for it.
All right, up on the
table, right now!
Whoa, whoa whoa--
Wait a second.
Shelly, we had a deal!
$150 G's buys their lives.
This is a little slap on the wrist
to remember me by.
Wait, wait.
- No, no!
Jesus, Shelly, no!
Come on.
Fuck!
I brought this on myself.
I planted the seeds.
When Angela had run off
with Mikey, I didn't--
I never made--
I never made an effort
to get back in his life.
I figured...
the kid don't need
a fucking loser for a father.
And now it's come full circle.
I give him the money,
I open the door to all this.
This-- I got this coming to me.
This is-- this is payback.
Are you done
beating yourself up, Bernie?
# My funny Valentine #...
# Sweet comic Valentine #...
# You... #...
# Make me smile
with my heart #...
# Your looks are laughable #...
# Unphotographable #...
# Yet... #...
# You're my favorite
work of art... #
Bernie...
are you awake?
I think that...
I love you.
No.
I don't think.
I'm pretty sure of it.
You blindsided me,
Bernie Lootz.
I never saw it coming.
You shouldn't do that to a girl.
There's so many things
you don't know,
that you should know.
Oh, fuck,
I don't want to ruin this.
It-- it don't matter.
It don't matter
what you come clean about,
it's not gonna change
the way I feel about you.
It's not.
Natalie, I...
I'd say it, but...
- Say it, just say it.
No, with my rotten luck--
Don't-- fuck rotten luck, Bernie.
That's over.
I love you, Natalie.
I really, really love you.
Trixie?
You came back?
# What a day this has been #...
# What a rare mood I'm in #...
# Why, it's almost like
being in love #...
# There's a smile
on my face #...
# For the whole
human race #...
# I would swear
I am falling in love... #
Tell Bernie to go to table six.
# All the music of life
seems to be #...
# Like a bell
that is ringing for me #...
# And from the way
that I feel #...
# When the bells
start to peal #...
# I would swear
I am falling #...
# I can swear
that I'm falling #...
# Well, it's almost like
being in love... #
Lovett, party of six,
your table is ready.
Duty calls.
Bye.
Yes!
# All the music
oflife seems to be #...
# Like a bell
that is ringing for me #...
# And from the way
that I feel #...
# When the bells
start to peal #...
# I would swear
I am falling #...
# I can swear
that I'm falling #...
# Well, it's almost
like being... #...
# Well, it's almost like
being in love. #
Hey, Shelly, check it out.
The new 'Mega Million.'
I call her 'Marnie.'
You know,
'cause she's one frigid broad.
You want to tell me
what's going on out there?
I don't know.
What do you mean
you don't know?
We're down almost
a mil out there.
Doesn't that seem
strange to you?
I guess I'm having an off day.
No, no, no.
You don't have off days, Lootz.
You're shitty luck incarnate.
What's wrong?
You coming down
with something?
You have this look about you.
No, no, I'm fine. As
a matter of fact,
I've never been better.
Give it a shot.
What's that
supposed to mean?
She loves me, Shelly.
She told me last night. Natalie.
Should I get her flowers
or candy?
What is happening
to you?
I think flowers.
Sweet Jesus!
You popped her cherries!
Shut the fuck up!
I'll stay.
- Scotch on the rocks.
Here you go, babe.
- Thanks.
Hi, Tone.
Hi, Shell.
Do you believe
those fucking kids yesterday?
Don't worry about
them, because...
you and I have
other problems now.
You have really
fucked things up...
big time, let me tell you.
I hired you to be
his 'cooze' companion,
not the true love
of his fucking life.
But no,
you have to go and
get all profound...
on the poor schmuck.
'I love you, Bernie.'
What the hell were
you thinking?
Those four words
of endearment...
have cost this casino...
one million and
counting today.
I don't understand
what that means.
Lady Luck.
You've heard of 'Lady Luck,'
haven't you?
Yeah.
That's what's
going on out there.
Lootz is Kryptonite
on a stick.
He should have them
throwing ice cubes right now,
but instead I've got
a meltdown on my hands.
So here's the situation:
you are out...
of his life, before
he even gets home.
Don't even tell him to his face.
Leave him a note.
I'm gonna make some
calls and you're...
gonna be situated
at another joint.
I don't think
I can do that, Shell.
Excuse me?
I said...
I don't think I can do that, Shell.
It wasn't an act.
I meant it.
You love him?
- Yeah.
I love the schmuck.
What the fuck is there to love?
He's a loser.
Always has been,
always will be.
I thought you were
a smart cookie...
when I picked you out.
You do not want
to fuck with me.
Because if you do,
your next john...
is going to be a
fucking rattlesnake...
in the fucking desert.
Do you understand me?
- Yeah.
Get out of here.
Hey, Natalie.
It doesn't matter.
Look.
A six-card 21?
Please!
# Can I steal a little love? #...
# Yeah, let me raid
a little love. #
Thank you, thank you.
You guys are too kind.
This next song I'd
like to do for you...
is dedicated to a
friend over there.
Brianna, this one's for you.
I want you to tell me
the truth, Shelly.
Did you say
something to Natalie?
Did you muscle her?
Jesus, Bernie. Is
that what you think?
That I would fuck
with your happiness?
That hurts me.
I don't know.
This guy is all flash.
No soul.
I miss Buddy.
It's just not the
same around here.
Buddy was tired.
I gave him the easy way out.
Things could have
been so much worse.
'Gave him the easy way out'?
What are you
talking about? He--
Buddy never would
have taken the buyout.
He would have stuck
to his guns...
right to the end.
They would have
ended up hurting him.
I could not allow
that to happen.
Jesus. You--...
you sit here and you justify it...
like you're Dr.
Kevorkian or something?
Hey, listen to me.
I loved that son of a bitch,
but his time was up.
What was I supposed
to do, leave him...
to those corporate
fucking scumbags?
What I did was a
humanitarian thing,
that I have no doubt about.
And afterwards I held
him in my arms...
and I cried like a fucking baby.
What?
What is this fucking look...
you're giving me now?
What is that, huh?
Televangelist:
There are the sins of the flesh.
There are the sins
of the gambling halls...
be it dice or in some cases,
'the devil's thumb papers.'
Let's take off tonight.
I can't do that.
I have an obligation
to Shelly. He--
Fuck Shelly.
He doesn't give a shit
about you, Bernie.
Let's just climb in your car...
and drive
the hell out of here tonight.
I can't do that, Natalie.
He'd come after me,
because you're with me.
I can't have that on me.
Okay.
Okay.
Winner!
Shelly! Shelly!
You have no fucking right!
Shelly, you got
no fucking right!
Shelly, I tried.
I couldn't do it.
Shelly-- Shelly--
I can't leave, Shell.
Shell, I love him.
Doesn't that mean
anything to you?
You heartless fuck.
I thought--
Bastard!
I thought he was your friend.
Who do you think you are?
Who the fuck do
you think you are?
You're nobody!
I could make you
disappear like that...
and not one fucking person
would miss you.
Not one fucking person!
- Bernie would!
He loves me.
He loves me...
and that kills you,
doesn't it, Shell?
That kills you!
That kills you, doesn't it?
He was your only friend...
and you crippled him.
You crippled him...
and he still stood by you,
but no more, Shell.
The only friends
you've got now...
are the fucking guys
on your payroll.
You don't own me
anymore, Shelly,
and you don't own Bernie.
We're leaving here tonight.
I am taking him...
and there is not a fucking thing
that you can do about it!
And you will be all alone!
- Is that right?
I love him.
Natalie?
Don't turn the light on.
I got a headache.
Did you take something?
I've got aspirin, I've got--
Yeah, I already
took something.
What--?
Oh, shit.
Natalie, what--
what happened to the mirror?
Natalie?
No, Bernie, don't.
Oh, shit-- Bernie!
Jesus Christ.
Natalie, who did this to you?
We've got to call the police.
I thought, 'Easy money.'
- What are you talking about?
Shelly.
He paid me to get close to you,
to keep you around.
Shelly...?
Yeah. Shelly.
You were right that first night.
I was for sale.
Bought and paid for.
You were the 'easy mark,'
Bernie.
At first I thought
that you were...
just another way to make
a quick buck, you know?
And then I started
to take a closer look.
And for the first time,
you were somebody
who wasn't trying to hustle me,
somebody who wasn't
trying to pretend...
he was someone he wasn't.
Just a decent guy,
trying to get back on track.
And it didn't hurt any...
that you put me
up on a pedestal.
It sure puts the gutter
in perspective.
Shelly paid you?
Shelly wants me gone.
He says I bring you luck.
'Lady Luck.'
I stayed to tell
you to your face...
and I knew you wouldn't...
want me no more and
I could just go.
We've got to get
you to the hospital.
We'll talk about this later.
Tell me again, Bernie.
Tell me everything's
gonna be okay.
Everything's gonna be fine.
This is our time.
This is you and me...
and we're going for it.
Oh, my God.
Hey.
You look in the mirror,
you don't like...
what you see, don't believe it.
Look in my eyes.
I am the only mirror
you're ever gonna need.
You look into my eyes,
Natalie.
Bernie, Bernie, wait, wait.
Your chart that first night--
I wasn't being
straight with you.
It is the worst
chart I've ever seen.
There's nothing in the cards
for you, I'm telling you.
No, don't you see?
That was before.
That was before
you opened up...
your heart to me.
Everything's different now.
I got Lady Luck on my side.
Nothing's gonna
happen to me.
Wait.
Here. Look,
I got $3,000 he paid me.
Maybe Shelly
will take it as a down payment,
and we can pay
in installments,
when we get settled, okay?
I don't think $3,000--
- Come on, take it, Bernie!
...street vendors in
your face. I walk...
up there, I'd want
to shoot myself.
I suppose you'd like
that freak show, huh, Harvard?
Yeah, I do.
It brings people downtown into...
the casino. That is
good for business.
Oof!
- Hey!
You lay another finger on her,
I swear to God, I'll kill you.
Are you listening to me?
I will fucking kill you.
Why, Shelly?
How could you do that
to her?
Because I never let go
of a good thing, Bernie,
and you are a very, very
good thing.
The best cooler there ever was
and I need him back.
He ain't never coming back.
That is a dead man talking.
Shelly...
I'm done with this joint,
Natalie and me.
We are out of here.
I'll get a job out in the world.
I'll send you half
my paycheck every month.
I'll make good on
my commitment.
Bernie, if you bail on me,
they're gonna throw
your fucking ass...
off the roof of this building...
snatch the broad,
and throw her...
right the fuck on top of you.
I don't think so,
'cause if you whack me,
then Bernie Lootz
ain't the biggest...
loser in the world no more.
That honor is gonna rest
upon you, Shelly.
And maybe you
had it all along.
I'm the loser?
What do you got,
other than this joint?
What more do I need?
- You got nothing.
This place-- your legacy,
it's a mirage.
You turn your back,
it don't even exist.
There's no night,
there's no day,
it's just one big fucking blur
and it don't count for nothing.
You believe this fucking guy?
I feel sorry for you,
Shelly.
You're the worst kind
of gambler there is,
too scared to throw
his chips on the table.
Too scared to extend
any real kind of friendship.
Always scared he's gonna
end up out in the desert.
Well, sweet
fucking dreams pal.
I'm out.
If that's where it ends,
that's where it ends.
Jesus Christ, that's
such a fucking...
touching speech, Bernie.
All that Jimmy Stewart bullshit,
I got such a lump in my throat,
I can't tell you.
But it doesn't change a thing.
If you don't make
good on my 150 G's,
I'm gonna close
the books on you.
You and the broad.
You leave me no choice.
Change only.
Change.
$3,000.
Yo, 11, pay the line.
Winner, seven.
Six easy. Easy way six.
Winner. Front line.
Hey, Shelly,
take a look at number four.
Winner.
Okay, folks, we're
coming out now.
Hold bets, curb checks,
C&E is 11.
Come on, man,
make me some money.
Winner, seven.
What the fuck is
going on here?
Where have you been?
Not now.
Bullshit. Shut him
down right now.
Shut him down or I will.
- Not here.
Come take a walk with me.
What is your interest
in this, Shelly?
Because you know what I see?
I see your guy taking
us to the fucking...
cleaners, and I'll
tell you one thing.
He's not leaving here
with a fucking dime.
Now listen to me,
you little Harvard turd.
Lootz is all right,
so he's walking out of here...
with everything he's
got coming to him.
If you so much as touch...
one fucking hair on
his fucking head,
I'm gonna fucking
wallpaper this fucking...
bathroom with
your fucking ass,
do you understand me?
Muted tones, isn't
that what you said?
Huh? I can't hear you.
Wait, wait a minute.
There it is.
Blended in, at a subsonic level,
like some kind of mantra,
'Pain, pain, pain.'
Please...
Come on, come on.
Big roll. Big roll, buddy.
Here we go, here we go.
He must be up over 100 grand!
Gray craps, line away.
Here we go.
Okay.
Hit it again. Come on.
Come on now. Come on.
What the fuck? Not all of it!
$80,000.
On the field?
Is he fucking crazy?
Don't do it.
Thank you, God.
Thank you, God.
Thank you, God.
It's all right, right?
You guys worked it out...
and he took the money?
It's okay, right?
You want me to
get that, Shelly?
Bernie?
Can you tell me
what happened?
Yeah. Yeah.
Why-- why are we stopping,
Bernie?
I think-- I think--
Oh, God damn.
What the fuck happened
in there?
What? What?
What!
- Look. Look.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Natalie, I won. I won.
- Oh, my God!
How much! ? How much! ?
- A lot.
Bahamas, here we come.
Step out of the car, please.
What's the problem, Officer?
Step out of the
car, both of you.
Officer, my driving, it--
I'm sorry if we were driving
a little fast, we're a bit excited.
We won a shitload of money
at the Shangri-La.
You didn't win nothing.
Now both of you, turn around.
Get down on your knees.
Now.
Jesus Christ, Bern,
Jesus Christ.
The kid just wants
you should know, Shelly,
he's just protecting
our investment...
...the old-school way.
I'll see you around,
my friend.
I knew it was too good
to be true.
Who were we kidding?
It's a drunk driver.
This is just--
this is just freaky luck.
It was freaky accident.
Gentlemen, I want to thank you
for your vote of confidence.
As the new director
of casino operations,
I want to make a
personal guarantee...
to each and every one of you...
that your investment in the Golden
Shangri-La will be well looked after.
The future looks very bright,
gentlemen.
Very, very bright.