Dag och natt (2004) Movie Script
DAY AND NIGH #For most people,Tuesday, Sept. 9,
2003 was a day like any other.
#For one person, though,
this day was special.
#On this day,
40-year-old Thomas Ekman,
#a respected architect
and a family man,
#put a bullet in his brain
at 8:03 pm
#using a Walther GSP handgun
bought for this purpose.
- Put on your seat belt.
- All right...
- Why did it die?
- It was old.
Could you drive faster?
Why? The light's red.
- Mum will be angry if I'm late.
- We'll make it.
- Will you pick me up afterwards?
- After what?
- After school.
- No.
- That's typical.
- What do you mean?
You could have come over
to Mum's place with me.
- Are you sad, Dad?
- No, why should I be?
You just seem sad, that's all.
No.
It's because I'm going on a trip...
I guess.
- Could you drive faster?
- Don't nag.
Why did you buy such fast car?
I'm driving as fast as I can.
We'll make it in time.
Why didn't you buy a cheap car
if you wanted to drive slow?
- Mum says you drink.
- She does?
And that she caught you
screwing another woman.
- That's not true.
- That's what she says.
I screw loads of other women.
Many more than you ever will.
And I soak myself in booze,
I'm blind drunk all the time.
Like right this minute?
No, not right now.
Who cares, you're still my dad.
Well, you are.
- Mum will find you a new dad.
- No.
And I bet he'll be a better dad too.
Mum says you'll always be my dad,
even if she meets someone.
Has she met someone?
- Already?
- Yes, just like you.
- You've got that bimbo.
- I thought you liked her.
She can go to hell,
so Mum can come back.
She has someone new.
- Who is he?
- I'm not allowed to tell you.
- Mum said I wasn't to tell you.
- Tell me!
Mum told me not to.
Do I know the man? She didn't say
you couldn't tell me that, right?
What's his initial?
J.
- Jakob.
- Don't tell Mum.
Promise?
It doesn't matter anyway...
I don't want to be a dad.
I won't be a dad, not after today...
- You've got to!
- Aren't you listening?
I don't want to do it.
I can't do it. I don't feel anything!
I'm drinking myself to death.
I don't care what you say!
Do you hear that?
Do you think the divorce
was just a way to leave your mother?
I wanted to leave you too.
I didn't want you when you were born,
and I don't want you now.
Now when you get out of this car,
you will be out of my life.
As if you never existed at all.
I want you to know
what a rotten person I am.
I'm a real bastard.
Haven't you realised that?
- No, you're not.
- Stop arguing with me!
- I'm a bastard.
- No, you're my dad.
- Look at the bird.
- Where?
Its beak.
- It's bloody...
- Because I killed it.
I put rat poison in its food.
It fell off its perch, twitched,
spit up some blood and died.
I killed your bird.
I killed your bird. I did it!
Hello, Jakob, it's Thomas.
All right if I come around an hour
from now and drop off the keys?
Out in front of the lobby?
Good. Bye.
Hi!
Give me a kiss, for God's sake.
- I thought you were busy today.
- I am.
- I'm going to get streaks done.
- Jump in. Just do it.
I know what you want.
- Where are we going?
- For a drive.
Exciting...
- Did you drop him off at school?
- Yes.
Was he sad about the bird?
- No.
- Good.
Listen, I want to ask you something.
What have I meant to you?
- Why do you ask?
- I want to know.
I'm not sure what to say.
- I have meant something, haven't I?
- Yes.
So tell me.
Because of you
I don't feel as lonely anymore.
- Is that it?
- That's not too bad.
What do you think
it's like in New York?
I don't know...
I wonder where I'll go shopping.
What do you think?
You should buy something for Emil.
Have you thought of that?
Has he said anything?
Have you asked him what he'd like?
- No...
- Haven't you asked him?
Well, you'd better ask him.
Yes, I will.
Sarah, listen to me...
Listen.
- I'm listening.
- I want you to pay attention.
I can't do this anymore.
- What can't you do?
- Everything.
- Does that include me?
- Yes.
- It does.
- Is something bothering you?
You never say anything, you don't
share your thoughts or your feelings.
I can't take it anymore,
we're through.
- I don't want to hear it.
- What if I need you to be strong?
That's not the deal,
you're supposed to take care of me.
- What about me?
- Go to a therapist, or a whore.
What if I need you to listen to me?
For you to listen to me?
Is this about leaving the kid
with that bitch?
It doesn't matter
if she's fucked up.
The mother always has the advantage.
You don't stand a chance in court.
- Make the best of it...
- I'm telling you that's not it.
We're not going to New York.
Then where are we going?
I'm going on my own.
What about me?
What's going to happen to me?
- I can't be bothered.
- Give me one last chance.
I promise I'll make it better.
- I'm sorry if I've hurt you...
- It's too late.
- Tell me what you want, I'll change.
- It's too late. We're through.
I'll reinvent myself for you,
I know I'm not perfect.
I need you in order
to become a better person.
Tell me what you want me to change,
and I'll do it.
You're all I have.
I can't make it without you.
Please? Give me one more chance.
You and I
will never be together again.
You're such a fucking coward!
You're an impotent old man.
And you've got
the smallest dick in the world.
Did you really think
it did anything for me?
Did you think it was for real?
You're such a loser.
I've had a hundred lovers
that were better than you.
Listen to me, you aren't
getting off the hook that easy!
Fuck me...
Fuck me!
Hang on... - That swimming complex
leaks, you know.
- Get in.
- Do you have the keys?
Wait a minute...
Hello?
Take me to McDonald's, I'm starving.
This phone is a piece of crap.
- Hi.
- Hi, Jakob.
Don't you want to go inside?
Say goodbye?
No, you're the one
I want to say goodbye to.
- It's funny, we can't find the leak.
- It's not my problem.
- You designed it.
- Finding the hole isn't my problem.
- Why did you quit?
- New prospects.
Did you have a problem with someone?
Who would that be?
- I need a change of atmosphere.
- Right, I understand.
- Have you considered it too?
- Considered what?
Considered what?!
- How are you? You seem nervous.
- I'm fine.
- Relax.
- I'm relaxed. Considered what?
- Starting over, with a new family?
- No, why should I?
I don't know, I thought you might
have met someone.
- What's going to happen in New York?
- Nothing, I hope.
What's this?
- That's bloody disgusting!
- Leave it alone. It's Emil's bird.
Right... I should
follow your example.
Only I'm too scared.
And I've got the house
and the summer place to think of.
I wish I could do something
that would make me feel alive.
Toss dog shit inside a car
or knock down blind people...
I'm like a bird in a cage, shitting
now and then to prove I'm alive.
Maybe I'm dying, or getting old.
Or maybe it's the same thing?
I hate this life. You're born and
you die, the sun rises and sets...
You rush home and it's time
to get up again. Life is meaningless.
- Don't you agree?
- I don't know.
That's right, we don't know a thing.
We stumble around in the dark
without finding anything.
Maybe suicide is the answer.
Jumping off a building, drowning in
the sea, taking poison, hanging,
or putting
a plastic bag over your head...
Only poison tastes awful,
the pavement is hard,
and the sea's cold,
so I don't do a thing.
- But at least you'll get old.
- Who'll take care of me then?
My wife?
I haven't loved anyone enough for
them to want to take care of me.
Like you, for example.
I could have been there for you,
but I didn't make the effort.
Shit, I forgot my wallet.
All right if I...?
Great, thanks.
I'm so hungry.
- #May I take your order?#
- A chicken sandwich.
- And orange juice.
- #Would that be the nuggets?
- The McChicken...
- I'll just have the juice.
- Will that be all?
- I'd like to have a Big Mac.
A double McCheese burger,
a large order of McFries...
...four Chicken McNuggets,
and a vanilla McMilk shake.
- #Will that be all?#
- McThanks!
#Your order will be waiting for you
at the next window.
Thanks.
Great...
That's your juice.
That's my milk shake.
Give this to Emil, he'll love it.
- What would you know about that?
- Kids usually love these things.
Don't you tell me what Emil likes.
- Why are you so angry?
- I'm not.
Just don't tell me what he likes.
After all, I'm still his dad.
Do you want an apology?
Because I let you down when
you had your drinking problem?
Come on, admit you're angry.
That I mean enough
for you to be disappointed in me.
- Say something.
- I just want to say goodbye.
I let you down when you needed me,
I was a real jerk.
Tell me I'm your friend,
that you'll miss me.
Say something!
I lost my appetite.
I'll eat at work...
- See you...
- I hope not.
Goodbye.
Say hello to Anna.
You asshole...
Why didn't you say anything?
- Say what?
- Don't act stupid, you know what.
That Anna and I are having an affair.
Why aren't you angry?
You have every right to be angry.
I didn't know there was anything
going on between you, I swear.
- Who do you mean?
- Between you and Anna.
We never see each other
when Emil is around.
Only when he was staying with you.
I say I'm playing golf,
not that my wife cares what I do.
Forgive me.
- You've done me a favour.
- What do you mean?
I'm glad she's met someone,
so she won't be lonely.
- Don't feel guilty.
- I like her honesty...
- Spare me the declarations of love.
- That wasn't what I meant.
- She talks about...
- No excuses. No more talk.
Stop making excuses.
Both of you have done me a favour.
I've got rid of my best friend and
my wife in one blow. Thank you.
Anna, there's something
I'd like to say to you...
I'd like...
...to talk to you, Anna.
I'd just like you to know...
- Did he get to school on time?
- Yes.
Did you pack him a lunch?
- Did you?
- No.
No, just look at that mud...
He's going to miss you.
Because you'll lose in court.
- I might not lose.
- You'll be in New York.
- Without a stable environment.
- While yours is?
I know why you picked me up.
To make a good impression.
That's not why.
I wanted to ask you to forgive me,
everything about me.
What have you done, besides cheating
on me and destroying our family?
- Could you forgive me?
- No.
Can't you please forgive me?
If you're serious, you'll let me have
sole custody of Emil.
He's all I have left.
Without him, I'm nothing.
I used be somebody, once.
Only you destroyed me
when you left.
I didn't leave, you kicked me out.
But maybe you've forgotten that.
Remember this? Our song...
- How banal we were...
- No, and your eyes were beautiful.
So, what colour are they?
- I don't remember.
- You could never look me in the eye.
It wasn't because I was ashamed.
I didn't want you to see my joy.
I was glad I cheated, that you were
mine and I didn't only belong to you.
- I was glad you were unfaithful.
- You were?
It meant you were a burden
on someone else as well.
I knew you'd be punished some day,
that's why I left.
So you could enjoy
lying in the gutter.
That's why you did it, right?
So you would be kicked out.
Have you ever made love?
Well, have you? Felt close,
invincible and happy?
Maybe...
Who was the woman?
- I don't remember.
- Oh yes, you do. Who was she?
- I don't...
- It's nothing to be ashamed of.
I don't remember. Now shut up.
- Emil asked me something.
- What?
- "Will I ever see Dad again?"
- He knows it might take some time.
He can say: "What's Dad doing now? Is
he having strawberries just like us?"
- He wants us to get back together.
- Kids always do.
Here we are, time to get divorced.
Keep driving!
- We'll be late.
- I don't care, keep driving!
- Keep driving!
- They're expecting us!
- You are a pain in the ass.
- Drive!
I don't care if we're late,
you're not leaving today anyway.
I've fought so hard
to keep this family together.
I believe that the three of us could
be happy if we made the effort.
I've never felt like this
with anyone else.
This feeling of belonging.
We think the same, isn't it awful?
We've had lots of good times too.
And more than that, we managed
to be happy, didn't we?
Weren't we happy sometimes?
Well, weren't we?
I was happy
when you squeezed my throat.
I'd never dared ask
to be choked before.
To not be able to breathe
when we had sex.
I wanted to be totally in your power.
Sometimes you kicked me too.
- I begged: "Please! Please!"
- Anna!
- You spat on me, called me a bitch.
- I don't want to hear this.
I cried tears of joy.
I loved waking up
with your marks on my body.
I knew I was totally yours,
and that your mistresses
wouldn't give you as much.
That's not true.
I've walked all over many woman,
and each one asked for it.
I love you.
I love you.
Who else do you love?
Or do you only screw the others?
- Stop it, I feel sick...
- Is screwing all you have to offer?
Let's take care of business.
You're not taking Emil.
I need to talk to you, Anna.
I called them... the lawyers.
I told them you can have sole
custody of Emil. Are you satisfied?
I've signed the papers already.
We just have to go in
and put both our signatures
on everything.
We're going to do it right now.
Let's go
sign those papers, all right?
Why can't anyone reach you...
...deep down?
- Yes, they can.
- No, they can't. Not ever...
You've got so much tenderness inside.
But there's always
a door that remains shut. Why?
Why is some part of you
always concealed?
Remember when your mother...
The hospital called,
said she'd been admitted?
I didn't know your mother was alive,
you hadn't told me that.
And when Emil was a newborn, you
wouldn't hold him. Why was that?
You didn't want
to hold your own child.
Remember that?
Why didn't you want to?
Is it my turn to cry?
Tell me why you should cry.
I don't think you can.
Let's go sign those papers.
Let's get it over with, all right?
Hello, my name is Thomas Ekman.
I would like to visit my mother,
Maria Ekman, this afternoon.
Good. Thank you.
- Move it!
- #Shut up.
- #I said: Shut up.#
- Why don't you get moving?
Are you blind? Don't you see
there's been a car accident?
- No, I didn't see that.
- Then behave yourself.
All right if I get in? I'm cold.
This fellow
ran out in front of a lorry.
The driver swerved
and ran over a little girl.
She could have been
my own grandchild.
- Would you like a nip?
- No, thank you.
Would you like a mint?
- I really have to get to work.
- Where do you work?
Downtown, at the railway station.
I work at the public lavatories
down in the basement.
I guess you could say
that I'm the superintendent.
- Been there a long time?
- A few years.
- It's nothing much to talk about.
- Why is that?
Because I know you'll
think my job is meaningless.
And draw the conclusion
that my life is meaningless.
- Only it isn't, in my opinion.
- I wouldn't think such a thing.
You see,
I've worked there for 29 years.
I've spent all my adult years
in the loo.
People come there
to do something very ordinary.
It's something all living creatures
here on earth have in common.
I love them for it.
- For taking a shit?
- I don't use expressions like that.
It's an important function.
It's quite a beautiful thing,
I think.
You see, day after day
I've heard people
utter sounds of satisfaction
inside the stalls.
And it pleases me
to know they're content.
That they can
go out into the daylight
and continue to take care
of their important business.
Do you understand what I mean?
Once I peed next to Ringo Starr.
I didn't know he would be so famous.
Then I might have turned around
and peed on his trousers...
Well, well...
Goodness, something's up.
Time I toddled off to my car.
Remember,
your life's not in the toilet.
Hi...
Nice car.
- Why couldn't I come in?
- Erik said no.
- Who's Erik?
- My husband, now let's go.
- Why did you come around now?
- To say goodbye.
- To say goodbye?
- I'm leaving the country.
- Where are you going?
- To New York.
"New York"...
You're just like our Mum.
When I really needed her,
she wasn't there.
And now that I don't need her,
she's breathing down my neck.
- How is she?
- Fine...
Not that she would know.
She eats, shits, sleeps and talks.
Then she does it all over again.
She never talks about you.
I think she's
forgotten all about you.
You know, I've often missed you.
- Why didn't you come to see me?
- I don't know.
Tell me about your life.
- I want to know.
- I want to get out of the car.
- Tell me. I don't remember...
- Let me out.
- Let me out.
- I can't stop here.
- I'll let you out soon.
- This isn't good...
- Where are we? I've never been here.
- Yes, you have.
I'll turn in here and stop.
Remember this place?
Look.
I can't be around people who don't
know everything about me.
Erik knows everything.
Everything...
I haven't held anything back.
Not even about the time...
...Mum caught me out
and sent me away.
Caught you out doing what?
When she caught me out...
Doing what?
I was with a guy.
Right...
We were making love.
I slapped him...
Put my hands around his throat
and squeezed...
But it was just pretend,
like we were playing.
I think Mum listened at the door.
I had music on full blast.
Mum flung the door open...
And I couldn't escape.
She was furious.
Didn't understand...
The guy I was with is the only person
I've ever really loved.
He's the only one
that I've truly felt...
a sense of belonging with,
of being invincible and happy.
What happened to him?
He disappeared.
He didn't dare be happy.
Not in that way, at least.
- Didn't you try to find him?
- I didn't have the courage to do it.
What if he feels the same way about
you, that he lacks the courage too?
No... I doubt it.
If he's still alive, that is.
He's alive.
- But it's too late anyway.
- Why?
He's going to New York.
You don't even remember...
Don't you remember my room?
My... pale blue room?
With the flowers... Red flowers.
- No.
- You don't?
No.
I'd hurry home after school,
and you'd be waiting.
Stop it.
- We knew when Mum would be home.
- Stop it!
- We must have known it was wrong...
- I don't want to hear this!
Thomas, I think you
should take me home.
- Don't leave me.
- Don't say that.
- You've got to help me.
- Don't say that.
Don't! Stop it.
Stop it...
Oh...
I think I saw Erik in the window,
I'd better be going.
- Where?
- There...
I don't see anyone.
- Over there.
- Yes, but there's no one there.
Yes, there is...
Maybe you're the only one
who can see him?
Eva, wait! Let me hold you...
Eva, come here...
Please let me hold you one last time.
Eva... Come here.
- Come here, Eva!
- Go away.
Come here... Get in.
Come here...
- Go away.
- Just one last time.
All right...
Anton, this is Thomas, Emil's dad.
Is Emil there? I need to talk to him.
Okay... Bye.
Move it, get the ball in play!
What kind of a kick-off was that?
You're too slow, one-two, one-two...
Get moving.
Go for it, Emil.
I don't want to see
any bloody pansies!
Dig in!
- How's he doing? Scoring any goals?
- Are you kidding? He's lousy.
He needs glasses, for God's sake.
- But he has a good time, right?
- We don't play for fun.
I'm a professionally trained
coach for juniors.
And we play serious soccer.
- I think he's pretty good.
- What the...?
Yo, Nicklas,
guard the fucking ball!
It's not your mum you're guarding!
So you think he's good?
What the hell would you know?
For the past year you haven't gone
to a single game, or to practice.
I haven't seen you, at any rate.
- Does he have friends on the team?
- No, they bully him.
Because he wears
cheap Adidas that trip him up.
Why haven't you bought him Nikes,
like all the other parents?
You should be able to afford it.
Emil cries in the showers
after practice.
- He does?
- Come on, didn't you know that?
Emil sobs his eyes out
like a goddamn sissy after practice,
and you're telling me
you didn't know?
Listen, you are his dad, aren't you?
Look at those damn pussies.
What the hell are they up to...
What are you, strippers?
Get the ball moving!
For God's sake,
pay attention, Lasse.
I'm sorry I didn't make it
to Fatima's funeral.
Something came up...
- I had a relapse.
- That's okay...
So I couldn't... make it.
- I want to apologise for that.
- No problem.
- I wanted to go.
- It's all right. Apology accepted.
She was so sweet... Fatima.
- So cheerful...
- Thomas, it's all right.
- How's Pernilla holding up?
- She's doing fine.
That driver, will he be convicted
of manslaughter?
I certainly hope so.
At least if he
happens to be a Malm fan.
How are you doing?
Fine...
Like to talk?
Sometimes it's good to talk.
And not just hold it all back.
If there are things you need
to get off your chest.
In any case, we'll beat the hell
out of Malm FF tomorrow.
And that's all that matters.
#I've travelled far and wide
seen most everything
#But I'll never
get enough of my team
#AIK, A-I-K...
- Christian...
- Can't you hear it?
- Listen to the footballers.
- Can't you hear...?
#Take me down to the stands
#There I'll die for AIK
#AIK, we'll fight for you!
#We're the Black Army,
yes, that's who we are!
#And if you mess with us,
we'll cut you down to size!
#We'll show Sweden,
just how to pick a fight...
#And no one will get up,
when we have shown our might!
Practice is over.
Emil! Emil...
What?
- Hello, Emil.
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
- I had a few hours off...
You told me you weren't my dad.
- I didn't mean it.
- Yes, you did.
You're full of shit!
Beat it!
Jakob is a great dad, so go away!
Go!
Go away! You bastard...
I hate you!
Let me go!
Let me go!
I hate you!
Hello, Mother, it's Thomas.
I'm coming to pick you up now.
The nurse said you won't be
going to the swimming complex.
Something to do with a leaky roof.
Who am I? I'm Thomas.
Your son.
- Press that switch.
- This one?
In the other direction...
Don't touch that,
I'll get locked out.
I'm checking to see if I look pretty.
- Isn't this pretty?
- I thought we'd take a spin.
- What's that?
- A gift, it's for you.
For me? Thank you.
It's yours if you
come along for a ride.
I love these...
- Where are we going?
- Just for a drive.
- Where to?
- Out into the wild blue yonder.
Of course,
"out into the wild blue yonder"...
Why?
I want to say goodbye, Mother.
- Where are you going?
- Far away.
- Have you packed clean clothes?
- Yes.
- Your passport, money and all that?
- Yes, every last thing.
- Why doesn't he ever visit me?
- Who do you mean?
The little one...
Emil?
Who's Emil?
Forget it.
He was a lusty boy. Back then...
He was always sticking it into her.
- Know what I asked him?
- No, tell me.
"Does it make you happy?" I said.
He really ought to visit me sometime.
- Do you mean Dad?
- No.
He was useless, for heaven's sake.
- It's the little boy I mean.
- Thomas?
Do you know him too?
A little.
He used to come around
when he owed money...
Goodness, that was fast!
He always asked me for money.
But you know what?
There will be no more of that.
No more.
He'll have to make it on his own,
without my help.
I tell everyone at the home
that my son is a drunk.
He boozes it up
and pisses away his life.
- He does?
- Yes, indeed.
He's really made it big, hasn't he?
What a grand title: Drunk.
A drunk...
That really does a mother proud.
- But you love him anyway, don't you?
- No.
- Why should I?
- Because you're his mother.
And he's your son,
it's not like he can stop being that.
A mother loves her son
no matter what, isn't that right?
Like hell she does. No way.
I told him that when he was a boy.
"I don't want to be your mother,"
I said. "I don't."
"I don't want you
to have feelings for me."
"I want you to forget all about me."
- It was all because of a fuck.
- Because of a fuck?
It's a relief to not
be his mother anymore.
My, it's green here...
Well, then...
- Here we are.
- Where?
- The beach.
- I don't want to swim. I can't.
Don't worry, Mother.
Where is she?
Your mother?
She can hear me.
That's nice.
Then we won't
have to go looking for her.
We won't be seeing each other again.
- We won't?
- No.
- Why is that?
- I'm going away.
- Where to?
- Far away... New York.
- Where's that?
- In America.
Right, "okey-doke"...
I want to die, Mother.
Well, so do I.
- How about it, shall we go?
- Where to?
To New York.
Just as long as I don't
have to go swimming...
You won't have to go swimming.
What are we waiting for?
Nothing.
It's beautiful, can you see that?
Shall we go out for a while?
Would you like to sit down?
- Is this the end of it?
- Yes.
- Promise?
- Yes, I promise.
- Why is it so dark?
- Because you're in New York.
- Is it all over now?
- Yes.
Thomas?
Thomas...
I can show you a good time.
Four hundred for a blowjob.
- Can't you go a little faster?
- Yes.
Only I feel like driving for a while,
and I want you to be quiet.
You're sitting by my side like no one
else has ever done before.
I feel totally secure.
You have no expectations.
And I have no desires.
We'd make a nice couple.
Me talking all the time...
Just talking and talking.
While you sleep.
We could live
like that for years and years.
Happier than most people.
I could never be happy.
Why not?
Because I've screwed up too often.
Tell me about it.
Is it a boy or a girl?
A boy, I think.
I can tell by the way
he kicks me in the stomach.
I don't know
if I'll keep him, though.
I was going to have an abortion,
only it was too late.
- He doesn't deserve a mum like me.
- Why do you say that?
- How could I ever protect my kid?
- You've got to try.
- I can't do it.
- You've got to try. Keep the baby.
Don't get rid of him.
You've got to make the effort.
I think you'd be a good mother.
Are you kidding me?
No, I'm not.
Do you have kids?
- Yes... no.
- Do you, or don't you?
I do, I had a son.
I lost him.
I wasn't worthy of being his father.
- What you mean, worthy?
- I wasn't worthy.
- Better a bad dad than no dad.
- I don't know about that.
- That's what I think.
- That's your opinion...
I'm sure he misses you a lot.
You're sure of that?
Well, good for you.
- Not so good for you, though.
- So what makes you so wise?
Did you read that
in a ladies' magazine?
Or some "psychology
for beginner's" book?
Is it too hard to understand
that I might be happier
without children?
Is that too much
for you to understand?
The concept is too bloody complex
for a little whore like you.
You don't know
what you're talking about.
Who cares?
- Right...
- Are we going to do this?
No, wait...
I said wait.
What's your name?
Desir.
Are you in debt?
What do you think?
- How much do you owe?
- That's none of your business.
I want to give you the money.
How much do you need?
- What do you want me to do?
- Shoot me.
No, I'm not into that sort of thing.
- Stay here.
- I want to get out.
- Let me out.
- I didn't mean to scare you.
I'm not going to hurt you.
Promise me you'll stay.
- If you unlock the door...
- If you promise to stay, I will.
Why do you want me to shoot you?
A dead man hurts less people
than a live one does.
Wouldn't you say
that's a pretty good reason?
How is your son
going to make it without a dad?
Your death might destroy him.
All you need to do is go to him
and kiss him goodnight.
Tell him you love him,
that you want to make things right.
I don't have the strength
to make things right.
I should be the one
to commit suicide.
My life is a mess.
What do you have
to be miserable about?
I'll write a note
saying that I did it.
That I pulled the trigger.
It won't work.
Of course it will.
We'll drive over to a cash machine.
We'll clean out my account.
Then we'll come back here.
And you'll shoot me.
I need your help.
My finger will be on the trigger.
You'll put your finger over it.
And all you have to do is squeeze.
You can make a fresh start.
I could never make a fresh start
if I shot you.
2003 was a day like any other.
#For one person, though,
this day was special.
#On this day,
40-year-old Thomas Ekman,
#a respected architect
and a family man,
#put a bullet in his brain
at 8:03 pm
#using a Walther GSP handgun
bought for this purpose.
- Put on your seat belt.
- All right...
- Why did it die?
- It was old.
Could you drive faster?
Why? The light's red.
- Mum will be angry if I'm late.
- We'll make it.
- Will you pick me up afterwards?
- After what?
- After school.
- No.
- That's typical.
- What do you mean?
You could have come over
to Mum's place with me.
- Are you sad, Dad?
- No, why should I be?
You just seem sad, that's all.
No.
It's because I'm going on a trip...
I guess.
- Could you drive faster?
- Don't nag.
Why did you buy such fast car?
I'm driving as fast as I can.
We'll make it in time.
Why didn't you buy a cheap car
if you wanted to drive slow?
- Mum says you drink.
- She does?
And that she caught you
screwing another woman.
- That's not true.
- That's what she says.
I screw loads of other women.
Many more than you ever will.
And I soak myself in booze,
I'm blind drunk all the time.
Like right this minute?
No, not right now.
Who cares, you're still my dad.
Well, you are.
- Mum will find you a new dad.
- No.
And I bet he'll be a better dad too.
Mum says you'll always be my dad,
even if she meets someone.
Has she met someone?
- Already?
- Yes, just like you.
- You've got that bimbo.
- I thought you liked her.
She can go to hell,
so Mum can come back.
She has someone new.
- Who is he?
- I'm not allowed to tell you.
- Mum said I wasn't to tell you.
- Tell me!
Mum told me not to.
Do I know the man? She didn't say
you couldn't tell me that, right?
What's his initial?
J.
- Jakob.
- Don't tell Mum.
Promise?
It doesn't matter anyway...
I don't want to be a dad.
I won't be a dad, not after today...
- You've got to!
- Aren't you listening?
I don't want to do it.
I can't do it. I don't feel anything!
I'm drinking myself to death.
I don't care what you say!
Do you hear that?
Do you think the divorce
was just a way to leave your mother?
I wanted to leave you too.
I didn't want you when you were born,
and I don't want you now.
Now when you get out of this car,
you will be out of my life.
As if you never existed at all.
I want you to know
what a rotten person I am.
I'm a real bastard.
Haven't you realised that?
- No, you're not.
- Stop arguing with me!
- I'm a bastard.
- No, you're my dad.
- Look at the bird.
- Where?
Its beak.
- It's bloody...
- Because I killed it.
I put rat poison in its food.
It fell off its perch, twitched,
spit up some blood and died.
I killed your bird.
I killed your bird. I did it!
Hello, Jakob, it's Thomas.
All right if I come around an hour
from now and drop off the keys?
Out in front of the lobby?
Good. Bye.
Hi!
Give me a kiss, for God's sake.
- I thought you were busy today.
- I am.
- I'm going to get streaks done.
- Jump in. Just do it.
I know what you want.
- Where are we going?
- For a drive.
Exciting...
- Did you drop him off at school?
- Yes.
Was he sad about the bird?
- No.
- Good.
Listen, I want to ask you something.
What have I meant to you?
- Why do you ask?
- I want to know.
I'm not sure what to say.
- I have meant something, haven't I?
- Yes.
So tell me.
Because of you
I don't feel as lonely anymore.
- Is that it?
- That's not too bad.
What do you think
it's like in New York?
I don't know...
I wonder where I'll go shopping.
What do you think?
You should buy something for Emil.
Have you thought of that?
Has he said anything?
Have you asked him what he'd like?
- No...
- Haven't you asked him?
Well, you'd better ask him.
Yes, I will.
Sarah, listen to me...
Listen.
- I'm listening.
- I want you to pay attention.
I can't do this anymore.
- What can't you do?
- Everything.
- Does that include me?
- Yes.
- It does.
- Is something bothering you?
You never say anything, you don't
share your thoughts or your feelings.
I can't take it anymore,
we're through.
- I don't want to hear it.
- What if I need you to be strong?
That's not the deal,
you're supposed to take care of me.
- What about me?
- Go to a therapist, or a whore.
What if I need you to listen to me?
For you to listen to me?
Is this about leaving the kid
with that bitch?
It doesn't matter
if she's fucked up.
The mother always has the advantage.
You don't stand a chance in court.
- Make the best of it...
- I'm telling you that's not it.
We're not going to New York.
Then where are we going?
I'm going on my own.
What about me?
What's going to happen to me?
- I can't be bothered.
- Give me one last chance.
I promise I'll make it better.
- I'm sorry if I've hurt you...
- It's too late.
- Tell me what you want, I'll change.
- It's too late. We're through.
I'll reinvent myself for you,
I know I'm not perfect.
I need you in order
to become a better person.
Tell me what you want me to change,
and I'll do it.
You're all I have.
I can't make it without you.
Please? Give me one more chance.
You and I
will never be together again.
You're such a fucking coward!
You're an impotent old man.
And you've got
the smallest dick in the world.
Did you really think
it did anything for me?
Did you think it was for real?
You're such a loser.
I've had a hundred lovers
that were better than you.
Listen to me, you aren't
getting off the hook that easy!
Fuck me...
Fuck me!
Hang on... - That swimming complex
leaks, you know.
- Get in.
- Do you have the keys?
Wait a minute...
Hello?
Take me to McDonald's, I'm starving.
This phone is a piece of crap.
- Hi.
- Hi, Jakob.
Don't you want to go inside?
Say goodbye?
No, you're the one
I want to say goodbye to.
- It's funny, we can't find the leak.
- It's not my problem.
- You designed it.
- Finding the hole isn't my problem.
- Why did you quit?
- New prospects.
Did you have a problem with someone?
Who would that be?
- I need a change of atmosphere.
- Right, I understand.
- Have you considered it too?
- Considered what?
Considered what?!
- How are you? You seem nervous.
- I'm fine.
- Relax.
- I'm relaxed. Considered what?
- Starting over, with a new family?
- No, why should I?
I don't know, I thought you might
have met someone.
- What's going to happen in New York?
- Nothing, I hope.
What's this?
- That's bloody disgusting!
- Leave it alone. It's Emil's bird.
Right... I should
follow your example.
Only I'm too scared.
And I've got the house
and the summer place to think of.
I wish I could do something
that would make me feel alive.
Toss dog shit inside a car
or knock down blind people...
I'm like a bird in a cage, shitting
now and then to prove I'm alive.
Maybe I'm dying, or getting old.
Or maybe it's the same thing?
I hate this life. You're born and
you die, the sun rises and sets...
You rush home and it's time
to get up again. Life is meaningless.
- Don't you agree?
- I don't know.
That's right, we don't know a thing.
We stumble around in the dark
without finding anything.
Maybe suicide is the answer.
Jumping off a building, drowning in
the sea, taking poison, hanging,
or putting
a plastic bag over your head...
Only poison tastes awful,
the pavement is hard,
and the sea's cold,
so I don't do a thing.
- But at least you'll get old.
- Who'll take care of me then?
My wife?
I haven't loved anyone enough for
them to want to take care of me.
Like you, for example.
I could have been there for you,
but I didn't make the effort.
Shit, I forgot my wallet.
All right if I...?
Great, thanks.
I'm so hungry.
- #May I take your order?#
- A chicken sandwich.
- And orange juice.
- #Would that be the nuggets?
- The McChicken...
- I'll just have the juice.
- Will that be all?
- I'd like to have a Big Mac.
A double McCheese burger,
a large order of McFries...
...four Chicken McNuggets,
and a vanilla McMilk shake.
- #Will that be all?#
- McThanks!
#Your order will be waiting for you
at the next window.
Thanks.
Great...
That's your juice.
That's my milk shake.
Give this to Emil, he'll love it.
- What would you know about that?
- Kids usually love these things.
Don't you tell me what Emil likes.
- Why are you so angry?
- I'm not.
Just don't tell me what he likes.
After all, I'm still his dad.
Do you want an apology?
Because I let you down when
you had your drinking problem?
Come on, admit you're angry.
That I mean enough
for you to be disappointed in me.
- Say something.
- I just want to say goodbye.
I let you down when you needed me,
I was a real jerk.
Tell me I'm your friend,
that you'll miss me.
Say something!
I lost my appetite.
I'll eat at work...
- See you...
- I hope not.
Goodbye.
Say hello to Anna.
You asshole...
Why didn't you say anything?
- Say what?
- Don't act stupid, you know what.
That Anna and I are having an affair.
Why aren't you angry?
You have every right to be angry.
I didn't know there was anything
going on between you, I swear.
- Who do you mean?
- Between you and Anna.
We never see each other
when Emil is around.
Only when he was staying with you.
I say I'm playing golf,
not that my wife cares what I do.
Forgive me.
- You've done me a favour.
- What do you mean?
I'm glad she's met someone,
so she won't be lonely.
- Don't feel guilty.
- I like her honesty...
- Spare me the declarations of love.
- That wasn't what I meant.
- She talks about...
- No excuses. No more talk.
Stop making excuses.
Both of you have done me a favour.
I've got rid of my best friend and
my wife in one blow. Thank you.
Anna, there's something
I'd like to say to you...
I'd like...
...to talk to you, Anna.
I'd just like you to know...
- Did he get to school on time?
- Yes.
Did you pack him a lunch?
- Did you?
- No.
No, just look at that mud...
He's going to miss you.
Because you'll lose in court.
- I might not lose.
- You'll be in New York.
- Without a stable environment.
- While yours is?
I know why you picked me up.
To make a good impression.
That's not why.
I wanted to ask you to forgive me,
everything about me.
What have you done, besides cheating
on me and destroying our family?
- Could you forgive me?
- No.
Can't you please forgive me?
If you're serious, you'll let me have
sole custody of Emil.
He's all I have left.
Without him, I'm nothing.
I used be somebody, once.
Only you destroyed me
when you left.
I didn't leave, you kicked me out.
But maybe you've forgotten that.
Remember this? Our song...
- How banal we were...
- No, and your eyes were beautiful.
So, what colour are they?
- I don't remember.
- You could never look me in the eye.
It wasn't because I was ashamed.
I didn't want you to see my joy.
I was glad I cheated, that you were
mine and I didn't only belong to you.
- I was glad you were unfaithful.
- You were?
It meant you were a burden
on someone else as well.
I knew you'd be punished some day,
that's why I left.
So you could enjoy
lying in the gutter.
That's why you did it, right?
So you would be kicked out.
Have you ever made love?
Well, have you? Felt close,
invincible and happy?
Maybe...
Who was the woman?
- I don't remember.
- Oh yes, you do. Who was she?
- I don't...
- It's nothing to be ashamed of.
I don't remember. Now shut up.
- Emil asked me something.
- What?
- "Will I ever see Dad again?"
- He knows it might take some time.
He can say: "What's Dad doing now? Is
he having strawberries just like us?"
- He wants us to get back together.
- Kids always do.
Here we are, time to get divorced.
Keep driving!
- We'll be late.
- I don't care, keep driving!
- Keep driving!
- They're expecting us!
- You are a pain in the ass.
- Drive!
I don't care if we're late,
you're not leaving today anyway.
I've fought so hard
to keep this family together.
I believe that the three of us could
be happy if we made the effort.
I've never felt like this
with anyone else.
This feeling of belonging.
We think the same, isn't it awful?
We've had lots of good times too.
And more than that, we managed
to be happy, didn't we?
Weren't we happy sometimes?
Well, weren't we?
I was happy
when you squeezed my throat.
I'd never dared ask
to be choked before.
To not be able to breathe
when we had sex.
I wanted to be totally in your power.
Sometimes you kicked me too.
- I begged: "Please! Please!"
- Anna!
- You spat on me, called me a bitch.
- I don't want to hear this.
I cried tears of joy.
I loved waking up
with your marks on my body.
I knew I was totally yours,
and that your mistresses
wouldn't give you as much.
That's not true.
I've walked all over many woman,
and each one asked for it.
I love you.
I love you.
Who else do you love?
Or do you only screw the others?
- Stop it, I feel sick...
- Is screwing all you have to offer?
Let's take care of business.
You're not taking Emil.
I need to talk to you, Anna.
I called them... the lawyers.
I told them you can have sole
custody of Emil. Are you satisfied?
I've signed the papers already.
We just have to go in
and put both our signatures
on everything.
We're going to do it right now.
Let's go
sign those papers, all right?
Why can't anyone reach you...
...deep down?
- Yes, they can.
- No, they can't. Not ever...
You've got so much tenderness inside.
But there's always
a door that remains shut. Why?
Why is some part of you
always concealed?
Remember when your mother...
The hospital called,
said she'd been admitted?
I didn't know your mother was alive,
you hadn't told me that.
And when Emil was a newborn, you
wouldn't hold him. Why was that?
You didn't want
to hold your own child.
Remember that?
Why didn't you want to?
Is it my turn to cry?
Tell me why you should cry.
I don't think you can.
Let's go sign those papers.
Let's get it over with, all right?
Hello, my name is Thomas Ekman.
I would like to visit my mother,
Maria Ekman, this afternoon.
Good. Thank you.
- Move it!
- #Shut up.
- #I said: Shut up.#
- Why don't you get moving?
Are you blind? Don't you see
there's been a car accident?
- No, I didn't see that.
- Then behave yourself.
All right if I get in? I'm cold.
This fellow
ran out in front of a lorry.
The driver swerved
and ran over a little girl.
She could have been
my own grandchild.
- Would you like a nip?
- No, thank you.
Would you like a mint?
- I really have to get to work.
- Where do you work?
Downtown, at the railway station.
I work at the public lavatories
down in the basement.
I guess you could say
that I'm the superintendent.
- Been there a long time?
- A few years.
- It's nothing much to talk about.
- Why is that?
Because I know you'll
think my job is meaningless.
And draw the conclusion
that my life is meaningless.
- Only it isn't, in my opinion.
- I wouldn't think such a thing.
You see,
I've worked there for 29 years.
I've spent all my adult years
in the loo.
People come there
to do something very ordinary.
It's something all living creatures
here on earth have in common.
I love them for it.
- For taking a shit?
- I don't use expressions like that.
It's an important function.
It's quite a beautiful thing,
I think.
You see, day after day
I've heard people
utter sounds of satisfaction
inside the stalls.
And it pleases me
to know they're content.
That they can
go out into the daylight
and continue to take care
of their important business.
Do you understand what I mean?
Once I peed next to Ringo Starr.
I didn't know he would be so famous.
Then I might have turned around
and peed on his trousers...
Well, well...
Goodness, something's up.
Time I toddled off to my car.
Remember,
your life's not in the toilet.
Hi...
Nice car.
- Why couldn't I come in?
- Erik said no.
- Who's Erik?
- My husband, now let's go.
- Why did you come around now?
- To say goodbye.
- To say goodbye?
- I'm leaving the country.
- Where are you going?
- To New York.
"New York"...
You're just like our Mum.
When I really needed her,
she wasn't there.
And now that I don't need her,
she's breathing down my neck.
- How is she?
- Fine...
Not that she would know.
She eats, shits, sleeps and talks.
Then she does it all over again.
She never talks about you.
I think she's
forgotten all about you.
You know, I've often missed you.
- Why didn't you come to see me?
- I don't know.
Tell me about your life.
- I want to know.
- I want to get out of the car.
- Tell me. I don't remember...
- Let me out.
- Let me out.
- I can't stop here.
- I'll let you out soon.
- This isn't good...
- Where are we? I've never been here.
- Yes, you have.
I'll turn in here and stop.
Remember this place?
Look.
I can't be around people who don't
know everything about me.
Erik knows everything.
Everything...
I haven't held anything back.
Not even about the time...
...Mum caught me out
and sent me away.
Caught you out doing what?
When she caught me out...
Doing what?
I was with a guy.
Right...
We were making love.
I slapped him...
Put my hands around his throat
and squeezed...
But it was just pretend,
like we were playing.
I think Mum listened at the door.
I had music on full blast.
Mum flung the door open...
And I couldn't escape.
She was furious.
Didn't understand...
The guy I was with is the only person
I've ever really loved.
He's the only one
that I've truly felt...
a sense of belonging with,
of being invincible and happy.
What happened to him?
He disappeared.
He didn't dare be happy.
Not in that way, at least.
- Didn't you try to find him?
- I didn't have the courage to do it.
What if he feels the same way about
you, that he lacks the courage too?
No... I doubt it.
If he's still alive, that is.
He's alive.
- But it's too late anyway.
- Why?
He's going to New York.
You don't even remember...
Don't you remember my room?
My... pale blue room?
With the flowers... Red flowers.
- No.
- You don't?
No.
I'd hurry home after school,
and you'd be waiting.
Stop it.
- We knew when Mum would be home.
- Stop it!
- We must have known it was wrong...
- I don't want to hear this!
Thomas, I think you
should take me home.
- Don't leave me.
- Don't say that.
- You've got to help me.
- Don't say that.
Don't! Stop it.
Stop it...
Oh...
I think I saw Erik in the window,
I'd better be going.
- Where?
- There...
I don't see anyone.
- Over there.
- Yes, but there's no one there.
Yes, there is...
Maybe you're the only one
who can see him?
Eva, wait! Let me hold you...
Eva, come here...
Please let me hold you one last time.
Eva... Come here.
- Come here, Eva!
- Go away.
Come here... Get in.
Come here...
- Go away.
- Just one last time.
All right...
Anton, this is Thomas, Emil's dad.
Is Emil there? I need to talk to him.
Okay... Bye.
Move it, get the ball in play!
What kind of a kick-off was that?
You're too slow, one-two, one-two...
Get moving.
Go for it, Emil.
I don't want to see
any bloody pansies!
Dig in!
- How's he doing? Scoring any goals?
- Are you kidding? He's lousy.
He needs glasses, for God's sake.
- But he has a good time, right?
- We don't play for fun.
I'm a professionally trained
coach for juniors.
And we play serious soccer.
- I think he's pretty good.
- What the...?
Yo, Nicklas,
guard the fucking ball!
It's not your mum you're guarding!
So you think he's good?
What the hell would you know?
For the past year you haven't gone
to a single game, or to practice.
I haven't seen you, at any rate.
- Does he have friends on the team?
- No, they bully him.
Because he wears
cheap Adidas that trip him up.
Why haven't you bought him Nikes,
like all the other parents?
You should be able to afford it.
Emil cries in the showers
after practice.
- He does?
- Come on, didn't you know that?
Emil sobs his eyes out
like a goddamn sissy after practice,
and you're telling me
you didn't know?
Listen, you are his dad, aren't you?
Look at those damn pussies.
What the hell are they up to...
What are you, strippers?
Get the ball moving!
For God's sake,
pay attention, Lasse.
I'm sorry I didn't make it
to Fatima's funeral.
Something came up...
- I had a relapse.
- That's okay...
So I couldn't... make it.
- I want to apologise for that.
- No problem.
- I wanted to go.
- It's all right. Apology accepted.
She was so sweet... Fatima.
- So cheerful...
- Thomas, it's all right.
- How's Pernilla holding up?
- She's doing fine.
That driver, will he be convicted
of manslaughter?
I certainly hope so.
At least if he
happens to be a Malm fan.
How are you doing?
Fine...
Like to talk?
Sometimes it's good to talk.
And not just hold it all back.
If there are things you need
to get off your chest.
In any case, we'll beat the hell
out of Malm FF tomorrow.
And that's all that matters.
#I've travelled far and wide
seen most everything
#But I'll never
get enough of my team
#AIK, A-I-K...
- Christian...
- Can't you hear it?
- Listen to the footballers.
- Can't you hear...?
#Take me down to the stands
#There I'll die for AIK
#AIK, we'll fight for you!
#We're the Black Army,
yes, that's who we are!
#And if you mess with us,
we'll cut you down to size!
#We'll show Sweden,
just how to pick a fight...
#And no one will get up,
when we have shown our might!
Practice is over.
Emil! Emil...
What?
- Hello, Emil.
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
- I had a few hours off...
You told me you weren't my dad.
- I didn't mean it.
- Yes, you did.
You're full of shit!
Beat it!
Jakob is a great dad, so go away!
Go!
Go away! You bastard...
I hate you!
Let me go!
Let me go!
I hate you!
Hello, Mother, it's Thomas.
I'm coming to pick you up now.
The nurse said you won't be
going to the swimming complex.
Something to do with a leaky roof.
Who am I? I'm Thomas.
Your son.
- Press that switch.
- This one?
In the other direction...
Don't touch that,
I'll get locked out.
I'm checking to see if I look pretty.
- Isn't this pretty?
- I thought we'd take a spin.
- What's that?
- A gift, it's for you.
For me? Thank you.
It's yours if you
come along for a ride.
I love these...
- Where are we going?
- Just for a drive.
- Where to?
- Out into the wild blue yonder.
Of course,
"out into the wild blue yonder"...
Why?
I want to say goodbye, Mother.
- Where are you going?
- Far away.
- Have you packed clean clothes?
- Yes.
- Your passport, money and all that?
- Yes, every last thing.
- Why doesn't he ever visit me?
- Who do you mean?
The little one...
Emil?
Who's Emil?
Forget it.
He was a lusty boy. Back then...
He was always sticking it into her.
- Know what I asked him?
- No, tell me.
"Does it make you happy?" I said.
He really ought to visit me sometime.
- Do you mean Dad?
- No.
He was useless, for heaven's sake.
- It's the little boy I mean.
- Thomas?
Do you know him too?
A little.
He used to come around
when he owed money...
Goodness, that was fast!
He always asked me for money.
But you know what?
There will be no more of that.
No more.
He'll have to make it on his own,
without my help.
I tell everyone at the home
that my son is a drunk.
He boozes it up
and pisses away his life.
- He does?
- Yes, indeed.
He's really made it big, hasn't he?
What a grand title: Drunk.
A drunk...
That really does a mother proud.
- But you love him anyway, don't you?
- No.
- Why should I?
- Because you're his mother.
And he's your son,
it's not like he can stop being that.
A mother loves her son
no matter what, isn't that right?
Like hell she does. No way.
I told him that when he was a boy.
"I don't want to be your mother,"
I said. "I don't."
"I don't want you
to have feelings for me."
"I want you to forget all about me."
- It was all because of a fuck.
- Because of a fuck?
It's a relief to not
be his mother anymore.
My, it's green here...
Well, then...
- Here we are.
- Where?
- The beach.
- I don't want to swim. I can't.
Don't worry, Mother.
Where is she?
Your mother?
She can hear me.
That's nice.
Then we won't
have to go looking for her.
We won't be seeing each other again.
- We won't?
- No.
- Why is that?
- I'm going away.
- Where to?
- Far away... New York.
- Where's that?
- In America.
Right, "okey-doke"...
I want to die, Mother.
Well, so do I.
- How about it, shall we go?
- Where to?
To New York.
Just as long as I don't
have to go swimming...
You won't have to go swimming.
What are we waiting for?
Nothing.
It's beautiful, can you see that?
Shall we go out for a while?
Would you like to sit down?
- Is this the end of it?
- Yes.
- Promise?
- Yes, I promise.
- Why is it so dark?
- Because you're in New York.
- Is it all over now?
- Yes.
Thomas?
Thomas...
I can show you a good time.
Four hundred for a blowjob.
- Can't you go a little faster?
- Yes.
Only I feel like driving for a while,
and I want you to be quiet.
You're sitting by my side like no one
else has ever done before.
I feel totally secure.
You have no expectations.
And I have no desires.
We'd make a nice couple.
Me talking all the time...
Just talking and talking.
While you sleep.
We could live
like that for years and years.
Happier than most people.
I could never be happy.
Why not?
Because I've screwed up too often.
Tell me about it.
Is it a boy or a girl?
A boy, I think.
I can tell by the way
he kicks me in the stomach.
I don't know
if I'll keep him, though.
I was going to have an abortion,
only it was too late.
- He doesn't deserve a mum like me.
- Why do you say that?
- How could I ever protect my kid?
- You've got to try.
- I can't do it.
- You've got to try. Keep the baby.
Don't get rid of him.
You've got to make the effort.
I think you'd be a good mother.
Are you kidding me?
No, I'm not.
Do you have kids?
- Yes... no.
- Do you, or don't you?
I do, I had a son.
I lost him.
I wasn't worthy of being his father.
- What you mean, worthy?
- I wasn't worthy.
- Better a bad dad than no dad.
- I don't know about that.
- That's what I think.
- That's your opinion...
I'm sure he misses you a lot.
You're sure of that?
Well, good for you.
- Not so good for you, though.
- So what makes you so wise?
Did you read that
in a ladies' magazine?
Or some "psychology
for beginner's" book?
Is it too hard to understand
that I might be happier
without children?
Is that too much
for you to understand?
The concept is too bloody complex
for a little whore like you.
You don't know
what you're talking about.
Who cares?
- Right...
- Are we going to do this?
No, wait...
I said wait.
What's your name?
Desir.
Are you in debt?
What do you think?
- How much do you owe?
- That's none of your business.
I want to give you the money.
How much do you need?
- What do you want me to do?
- Shoot me.
No, I'm not into that sort of thing.
- Stay here.
- I want to get out.
- Let me out.
- I didn't mean to scare you.
I'm not going to hurt you.
Promise me you'll stay.
- If you unlock the door...
- If you promise to stay, I will.
Why do you want me to shoot you?
A dead man hurts less people
than a live one does.
Wouldn't you say
that's a pretty good reason?
How is your son
going to make it without a dad?
Your death might destroy him.
All you need to do is go to him
and kiss him goodnight.
Tell him you love him,
that you want to make things right.
I don't have the strength
to make things right.
I should be the one
to commit suicide.
My life is a mess.
What do you have
to be miserable about?
I'll write a note
saying that I did it.
That I pulled the trigger.
It won't work.
Of course it will.
We'll drive over to a cash machine.
We'll clean out my account.
Then we'll come back here.
And you'll shoot me.
I need your help.
My finger will be on the trigger.
You'll put your finger over it.
And all you have to do is squeeze.
You can make a fresh start.
I could never make a fresh start
if I shot you.