Dirty Mary Crazy Larry (1974) Movie Script
But i never
had the time
time
i always thought
that we were friends
time
but you slipped
right through my hands
but i never had
the time.
Hey, ace.
Speed's expensive. How
fast do you want to go?
Any town's a nice little
town when you nail a broad.
Starting to get
nervous, huh?
There she is.
- Yeah, i know what you mean.
- I figured you would.
I promised you after word
from sonny's drive-in.
Go ahead.
Back it off.
Hey! Asshole!
I was washing my hair.
Hello?
- Yeah?
- Everything under control?
It's been delivered
and it's just waiting.
Okay, i'll see
you real soon.
Call him.
I said, call him.
- Yeah- would you like me to
get that? - No. Do you know her?
Oh god, please answer.
Please.
If you don't give
him the money.
Let me talk to him.
I changed my mind.
Morning, mr. Stanton.
It was supposed
to be open.
It's a local call.
Whoever it is, get rid of
'em like i told you before.
- Hello?
- Is the man of the house there?
Yeah, that's right
- you can't let him do this. Please.
- No.
It'll be all right now,
honey. It'll be all right.
Terrific.
I even brought
my own bag.
Try not to squash
the tomatoes.
And you cease to be a family
man right then and there.
Hi, asshole.
What did you do
with the keys?
She ought to be
paid like one, right?
If you don't give me those
keys, i'm going to pop you.
Oh!
That's right, lady.
Now, let's have the keys.
Okay. Relax.
Those were the keys
to my grandfather's pickup.
You just holler.
Did you see that crazy son of a bitch?
- You won't yell?
You promise? - Uh-huh.
I'm trusting you now
no. Would you go back
to your office now?
Mr. Stanton?
You better check with the
stewardess in tourist section.
Get in.
As full of shit
as that, huh?
Honest, i was spouting off
to a dial tone.
You are a neighbor
and, uh...
did i get a wrong-
after an incoming call.
- Yeah.
- Far out!
Had to pick up
a flag, didn't you?
- What?
- I don't know, i thought maybe you'd know.
Souped?
Let's go.
I'm glad!
Your friend's
a real dazzler.
D-a-z-z-l-e-r.
Okay, hang on.
You know what it means when somebody
like me gets off to a bad start?
Not a god-damn thing.
You've been holding those cars over my
head a year and i'm getting tired of it.
It's got nothing to do with you
or you getting your new patrol cars.
Kiss my ass.
That's not nice.
Sheriff's department,
please, right away.
I'd like to get out
and look at the car.
Oh, just beautiful.
Yeah. Thanks.
Come on. Let's get
this turkey under-cover.
- Yes, sir.
- "Yes, sir. Yes, sir."
Haul ass to mccullough!
Now, that was cute.
That was real cute.
Headquarters
to cars 2 and 12.
This is a hell of a time
for a pit stop.
- Deke, you going to be a while?
- Yeah.
Great.
Of how little
i was getting.
That is totally true.
Unload.
Kiss off.
- Goodbye!
- Hello.
Deke, what are you trying to
do, establish squatter's rights?
And you underneath
with me.
Terrific.
- Hey!
- What?
Maybe i don't want
to say goodbye.
But i'm having trouble
trying to win enough money
to build some real speed.
And now l-
i've got-
i need you...
to help us
with the car.
You got it.
And see if you get the words
"son of a bitch" in print.
Hey, start moving
the wheel!
Just a second.
Well, pay attention.
I'll pay attention.
- She got bored.
- Oh, great.
Turn it to the left!
- Is it coming?
- Yeah, work it some more!
To the right!
Are you stupid?!
Larry?
Larry!
Uh...
yes, sir.
Why?
G.
'Cause we're stoppin
say hi. Tell 'em how you went
to europe with jamie richardson.
- Mister, she's gonna talk.
- So what?
Check the map
for that second turn.
- Where'd you put it?
- Under the seat.
Have you gone crazy?
It's not here.
That's what
i'm going to break.
- Hi.
- Hi. Hand it over.
Oh, sure.
Why not?
- Then you-
- get in.
Car 10 in hot pursuit.
What, are you worried
you can't outdrive him?
Don't mean a thing.
She always overheats.
Come on, baby!
God damn it, let's go.
I ain't blowing
nothin', partner.
Whoo!
Tappets.
Contact that helicopter. Tell them
to meet me at beacon's corner.
Yeah, well we're going
to get right back on it.
Headquarters calling
captain franklin.
Give me that thing. Franklin,
this is donahue. Come in, please.
Donahue: Everett, i want you
to get back to headquarters now.
Everett, aren't you taking this
pursuit a little bit personal?
What's that
supposed to mean?
That's all you got in your brain is
having the biggest troop in this state.
I want you
to catch 'em.
- Hey, carl?
- What?
Kiss my ass!
I was given orders to hit it
and get it, and i follow orders.
Let's go.
There she is.
Then we'll get the tools.
Come on.
- I said i'll be back in a minute.
- Oh.
I'll take it.
Why don't you watch out
what you're doing?
Mm-hmm.
What's the matter, mary? Ain't
we good enough for you anymore?
Same old technique.
Whew!
Look what i got you.
Hey, there's a blue chevy.
Hey, i think
we should go.
Car 20 to headquarters.
- Which way are they headed?
- Fryman road area, south.
Notify all of the cars to
make a sweep in that area.
Uh, i might not be able
to hear them pipes.
Did anybody see
a license number?
Hey, had a black
racing stripe.
Mmm!
Larry: Well, well, well. Hi, guys.
They're about four miles
south of miner road.
Oh, shit.
Officer:
Son of a-
now, what did
that billboard say?
That means he's gonna
set up roadblocks.
Where are you?
All right.
Listen to this.
Unlimited.
The roadblock at old 99
junction is now set up, sir.
Hey, what do you know?
A landing spot.
Aphrodisiac, huh?
With you around?
Hey, that's $1.85.
Computer.
Shit.
Lots of green between
those balls, you know?
This table's
kind of screwy, too.
When deke shoots pool, he's so loaded,
he usuall y can't see the table.
Hey now, bunky, that ain't an
excuse to go on a binge, you know.
Ain't no drunk costin
g me another race.
You walk now, mister, and
we'll hang it up for good.
I think maybe
we ought to go.
No sign of them
yet, sir. Over.
18 minutes since
your call. Over.
Maybe that clown
got us wired.
Give me a piece of paper
and a pencil.
- Little miss mary's gonna do us a favor.
- Why should i?
Well, because
i'm asking you to.
Okay.
What is it?
Let's gas up
and get out of here.
Over and out.
Ooh-whee!
Hey, hold it!
Swing off and pass.
- Bunky! Hey, bunky,
cheer up!
All right, get me
to that walnut grove.
- What you slow down for?!
- He wants to play.
I think someone's
knocking on the door.
I hope he's
a good sailor.
Give me that mic.
If you really get it on,
you may be able to cover 15.
Listen to him.
It's just a matter of when.
Now, get off that line.
We haven't got
any fuel left.
You probably did.
Let's go fix up
the front end.
Hey, wait a minute.
Fix up the front end?
Yeah.
I got a way. Maybe you
can save yourself, mary.
Don't you do that
again, ever.
If she has any sense about
her, i won't need to.
To get up by yourself, you
don't think anybody can, huh?
Come on!
Say it again!
Just fix
the god damn wheel.
Hey!
Wait a minute!
Why?
I'm his mechanic
so what?
You don't have to be.
Well, i mean, you said half
the money's yours, right?
You and i, we could-
it's not that at all.
Well, i do lie a little.
But the reason
i lie...
i know you, miss mary.
You do?
I mean, you're good.
Even i know that.
I drank myself right out
of the entire circuit.
I don't have
anything else to do.
Yeah, but i
always think that.
Now, let's get on
with our business.
Just hold on to them.
Be right with you.
I'm gonna stick right up
your ass this time, buddy.
Hang on. I think we got a mover here.
I'm gonna eat your lunch,
you long-haired faggot.
He's staying with you.
You'd better get, and i'm gonna
put you right up against the wall.
- If he gets any closer, i'm gonna lunch him.
- Come on! Shake him!
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna powder his face.
It's gonna take more than that to dust
me off 'cause this is where i came from.
I'm going to show you
my twice-piped system, buddy!
Keep going, partner, 'cause
my top end is unlimited.
Damn.
And the steering wheel's
loose anyway.
Get me over there.
Come on.
You're just wasting gas.
- All right. It's up to you.
- What is?
- I want 'em stopped.
- Stoppedhow?
'Cause i'm going to give
it a try. So go on down there.
I said go on
down there!
Come on!
Let me talk to him.
This ain't no dirt track,
roundy-rounder.
Come on!
I believe you're right.
Crash into him!
- Fuel!
- Come on!
- We're out of fuel!
- God damn it!
Go ahead
and set it down!
All you got to be is willing
to take it to the max.
Those cars ain't within 10 miles of
where he's talking. What's he doing?
Mary:
And you go right.
Jeez.
From your coordinate,
r-3 and walnut.
Two up and left again.
He's trying to make 'em
outdrive themselves.
One over, left!
Okay.
Two up, left.
Hey, bunky,
he's strokingyou.
Yeah, but i'd like
to call not collect.
It sure looks that way.
Time
i always thought
that we were friends
time
but you slipped
right through my hands.
had the time
time
i always thought
that we were friends
time
but you slipped
right through my hands
but i never had
the time.
Hey, ace.
Speed's expensive. How
fast do you want to go?
Any town's a nice little
town when you nail a broad.
Starting to get
nervous, huh?
There she is.
- Yeah, i know what you mean.
- I figured you would.
I promised you after word
from sonny's drive-in.
Go ahead.
Back it off.
Hey! Asshole!
I was washing my hair.
Hello?
- Yeah?
- Everything under control?
It's been delivered
and it's just waiting.
Okay, i'll see
you real soon.
Call him.
I said, call him.
- Yeah- would you like me to
get that? - No. Do you know her?
Oh god, please answer.
Please.
If you don't give
him the money.
Let me talk to him.
I changed my mind.
Morning, mr. Stanton.
It was supposed
to be open.
It's a local call.
Whoever it is, get rid of
'em like i told you before.
- Hello?
- Is the man of the house there?
Yeah, that's right
- you can't let him do this. Please.
- No.
It'll be all right now,
honey. It'll be all right.
Terrific.
I even brought
my own bag.
Try not to squash
the tomatoes.
And you cease to be a family
man right then and there.
Hi, asshole.
What did you do
with the keys?
She ought to be
paid like one, right?
If you don't give me those
keys, i'm going to pop you.
Oh!
That's right, lady.
Now, let's have the keys.
Okay. Relax.
Those were the keys
to my grandfather's pickup.
You just holler.
Did you see that crazy son of a bitch?
- You won't yell?
You promise? - Uh-huh.
I'm trusting you now
no. Would you go back
to your office now?
Mr. Stanton?
You better check with the
stewardess in tourist section.
Get in.
As full of shit
as that, huh?
Honest, i was spouting off
to a dial tone.
You are a neighbor
and, uh...
did i get a wrong-
after an incoming call.
- Yeah.
- Far out!
Had to pick up
a flag, didn't you?
- What?
- I don't know, i thought maybe you'd know.
Souped?
Let's go.
I'm glad!
Your friend's
a real dazzler.
D-a-z-z-l-e-r.
Okay, hang on.
You know what it means when somebody
like me gets off to a bad start?
Not a god-damn thing.
You've been holding those cars over my
head a year and i'm getting tired of it.
It's got nothing to do with you
or you getting your new patrol cars.
Kiss my ass.
That's not nice.
Sheriff's department,
please, right away.
I'd like to get out
and look at the car.
Oh, just beautiful.
Yeah. Thanks.
Come on. Let's get
this turkey under-cover.
- Yes, sir.
- "Yes, sir. Yes, sir."
Haul ass to mccullough!
Now, that was cute.
That was real cute.
Headquarters
to cars 2 and 12.
This is a hell of a time
for a pit stop.
- Deke, you going to be a while?
- Yeah.
Great.
Of how little
i was getting.
That is totally true.
Unload.
Kiss off.
- Goodbye!
- Hello.
Deke, what are you trying to
do, establish squatter's rights?
And you underneath
with me.
Terrific.
- Hey!
- What?
Maybe i don't want
to say goodbye.
But i'm having trouble
trying to win enough money
to build some real speed.
And now l-
i've got-
i need you...
to help us
with the car.
You got it.
And see if you get the words
"son of a bitch" in print.
Hey, start moving
the wheel!
Just a second.
Well, pay attention.
I'll pay attention.
- She got bored.
- Oh, great.
Turn it to the left!
- Is it coming?
- Yeah, work it some more!
To the right!
Are you stupid?!
Larry?
Larry!
Uh...
yes, sir.
Why?
G.
'Cause we're stoppin
say hi. Tell 'em how you went
to europe with jamie richardson.
- Mister, she's gonna talk.
- So what?
Check the map
for that second turn.
- Where'd you put it?
- Under the seat.
Have you gone crazy?
It's not here.
That's what
i'm going to break.
- Hi.
- Hi. Hand it over.
Oh, sure.
Why not?
- Then you-
- get in.
Car 10 in hot pursuit.
What, are you worried
you can't outdrive him?
Don't mean a thing.
She always overheats.
Come on, baby!
God damn it, let's go.
I ain't blowing
nothin', partner.
Whoo!
Tappets.
Contact that helicopter. Tell them
to meet me at beacon's corner.
Yeah, well we're going
to get right back on it.
Headquarters calling
captain franklin.
Give me that thing. Franklin,
this is donahue. Come in, please.
Donahue: Everett, i want you
to get back to headquarters now.
Everett, aren't you taking this
pursuit a little bit personal?
What's that
supposed to mean?
That's all you got in your brain is
having the biggest troop in this state.
I want you
to catch 'em.
- Hey, carl?
- What?
Kiss my ass!
I was given orders to hit it
and get it, and i follow orders.
Let's go.
There she is.
Then we'll get the tools.
Come on.
- I said i'll be back in a minute.
- Oh.
I'll take it.
Why don't you watch out
what you're doing?
Mm-hmm.
What's the matter, mary? Ain't
we good enough for you anymore?
Same old technique.
Whew!
Look what i got you.
Hey, there's a blue chevy.
Hey, i think
we should go.
Car 20 to headquarters.
- Which way are they headed?
- Fryman road area, south.
Notify all of the cars to
make a sweep in that area.
Uh, i might not be able
to hear them pipes.
Did anybody see
a license number?
Hey, had a black
racing stripe.
Mmm!
Larry: Well, well, well. Hi, guys.
They're about four miles
south of miner road.
Oh, shit.
Officer:
Son of a-
now, what did
that billboard say?
That means he's gonna
set up roadblocks.
Where are you?
All right.
Listen to this.
Unlimited.
The roadblock at old 99
junction is now set up, sir.
Hey, what do you know?
A landing spot.
Aphrodisiac, huh?
With you around?
Hey, that's $1.85.
Computer.
Shit.
Lots of green between
those balls, you know?
This table's
kind of screwy, too.
When deke shoots pool, he's so loaded,
he usuall y can't see the table.
Hey now, bunky, that ain't an
excuse to go on a binge, you know.
Ain't no drunk costin
g me another race.
You walk now, mister, and
we'll hang it up for good.
I think maybe
we ought to go.
No sign of them
yet, sir. Over.
18 minutes since
your call. Over.
Maybe that clown
got us wired.
Give me a piece of paper
and a pencil.
- Little miss mary's gonna do us a favor.
- Why should i?
Well, because
i'm asking you to.
Okay.
What is it?
Let's gas up
and get out of here.
Over and out.
Ooh-whee!
Hey, hold it!
Swing off and pass.
- Bunky! Hey, bunky,
cheer up!
All right, get me
to that walnut grove.
- What you slow down for?!
- He wants to play.
I think someone's
knocking on the door.
I hope he's
a good sailor.
Give me that mic.
If you really get it on,
you may be able to cover 15.
Listen to him.
It's just a matter of when.
Now, get off that line.
We haven't got
any fuel left.
You probably did.
Let's go fix up
the front end.
Hey, wait a minute.
Fix up the front end?
Yeah.
I got a way. Maybe you
can save yourself, mary.
Don't you do that
again, ever.
If she has any sense about
her, i won't need to.
To get up by yourself, you
don't think anybody can, huh?
Come on!
Say it again!
Just fix
the god damn wheel.
Hey!
Wait a minute!
Why?
I'm his mechanic
so what?
You don't have to be.
Well, i mean, you said half
the money's yours, right?
You and i, we could-
it's not that at all.
Well, i do lie a little.
But the reason
i lie...
i know you, miss mary.
You do?
I mean, you're good.
Even i know that.
I drank myself right out
of the entire circuit.
I don't have
anything else to do.
Yeah, but i
always think that.
Now, let's get on
with our business.
Just hold on to them.
Be right with you.
I'm gonna stick right up
your ass this time, buddy.
Hang on. I think we got a mover here.
I'm gonna eat your lunch,
you long-haired faggot.
He's staying with you.
You'd better get, and i'm gonna
put you right up against the wall.
- If he gets any closer, i'm gonna lunch him.
- Come on! Shake him!
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna powder his face.
It's gonna take more than that to dust
me off 'cause this is where i came from.
I'm going to show you
my twice-piped system, buddy!
Keep going, partner, 'cause
my top end is unlimited.
Damn.
And the steering wheel's
loose anyway.
Get me over there.
Come on.
You're just wasting gas.
- All right. It's up to you.
- What is?
- I want 'em stopped.
- Stoppedhow?
'Cause i'm going to give
it a try. So go on down there.
I said go on
down there!
Come on!
Let me talk to him.
This ain't no dirt track,
roundy-rounder.
Come on!
I believe you're right.
Crash into him!
- Fuel!
- Come on!
- We're out of fuel!
- God damn it!
Go ahead
and set it down!
All you got to be is willing
to take it to the max.
Those cars ain't within 10 miles of
where he's talking. What's he doing?
Mary:
And you go right.
Jeez.
From your coordinate,
r-3 and walnut.
Two up and left again.
He's trying to make 'em
outdrive themselves.
One over, left!
Okay.
Two up, left.
Hey, bunky,
he's strokingyou.
Yeah, but i'd like
to call not collect.
It sure looks that way.
Time
i always thought
that we were friends
time
but you slipped
right through my hands.