Django Unchained (2012) Movie Script

Who's that stumblin' around in the dark?
State your business,
or prepare to get winged!
Calm yourselves gentlemen,
I mean you no harm.
I'm simply a fellow weary traveler.
Good cold evening gentlemen,
I'm looking for a pair of slave traders
that go by the name of
the Speck Brothers.
Might that be you?
Who wants to know?
Well, I do.
I'm Dr. King Schultz,
this is my horse, Fritz.
What kinda doctor?
Dentist.
Now are you the Speck Brothers,
and did you purchase those men
at the Greenville slave auction?
So what?
So, I wish to parley with you.
Speak English.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Please forgive me,
it is a second language.
Now, amongst your inventory,
I've been led to believe,
is a specimen I'm keen to acquire.
Hello you poor devils!
Is there one amongst you, who was formerly
a resident of The Carrucan Plantation?
I'm from The Carrucan Plantation.
Who said that?
What's your name?
Django.
Then you're exactly
the one I'm looking for.
Do you know who the Brittle Brothers are?
Who are they?
Big John
Ellis
and Raja
sometime they call him Lit'le Raj.
They was overseers at Carrucan plantation.
Not anymore.
Tell me
If you were to see any of these three
gentlemen again, would you recognize them?
Hey!
Stop talk with 'em like that.
Like what?
Like that!
My good man,
I'm simply trying to ascertain-
Speak English, goddammit!
Everybody calm down,
I'm simply a customer
trying to conduct a transaction.
I don't care.
No sale.
Now off wit' you!
Oh, don't be ridiculous,
o'course they're for sale.
Move it.
My good man, did you simply get
carried away with your dramatic gesture,
or are you pointing your weapon
at me with lethal intention?
Last chance, fancy pants.
Oh, very well
I'm sorry to have put
a bullet in your beast,
but I didn't want you to do anything rash
before you had a moment
to come to your senses.
Goddamn son of a bitch!
You shot Roscoe!
And you killed Ace!
Hey, I only shot your brother
once he threatened to shoot me.
And I do believe I have
one, two, three, four, five witnesses
who can attest to that fact.
Damn legs busted!
No doubt. Now, if you can keep
your caterwauling down to a minimum,
I'd like to finish my line
of inquiry with young Django.
God fucking dammit!
As I was saying,
if you were to see the Brittle Brothers
again, you could recognize them?
Yeah.
Sold American!
So Mr. Speck,
Mr. Speck, how much
for young Django here?
That iron is nasty business.
Could you hold this for a moment?
Thank you.
Django, get up on that horse.
Also if I were you, I'd take that winter
coat the dear departed Speck left behind.
Nigger, don't you touch my brother's coat!
Goddammit!
One hundred ten
twenty and five
for young Django here.
And since you won't be needing it anymore,
I'd like to purchase your brother's nag.
Also Mr. Speck, I am afraid
I will require a bill of sale.
Do you have one?
You go to hell, dentist!
I thought not.
No worries!
I come prepared.
Thank you.
This will serve nicely as a bill of sale.
Now as to you poor devils
So as I see it, when it comes to
the subject of what to do next,
you gentlemen have two choices.
One: once I'm gone, you could lift
that beast off the remaining Speck,
then carry him to the nearest town.
Which would be at least thirty-seven
miles back the way you came.
Or Two:
You could unshackle yourselves
take that rifle, put a bullet in his head,
bury the two of them deep,
and then make your way to a more
enlightened area of this country.
The choice is yours.
Oh, and on the off chance there are
any astronomy aficionados amongst you,
the North Star is that one.
Tata.
Now wait a minute fellas,
let's talk about this.
You gotta be reasonable
on a situation like this.
I'm not a bad guy,
look I'm just doing my job!
Blueberry, didn't I give you
my last apple?
Tell you what boys, take me to Lit'le Duck
in El Paso, I'll get you your freedom.
No. No, please-
What's everybody staring at?
They never seen a nigger
on a horse before.
Good morning inn keeper!
Two beers for two weary travelers.
Ah, it's still a bit early.
We won't be open for another hour.
By then we'll be servin' breakfast.
Wow wow wow wow!
What the hell you think you doin', boy?
Get that nigger outta here.
Help! Help!
Inn keeper!
Remember, get the sheriff,
not the marshall.
Alas
Now we must act
as our own bartender.
Sit down, my boy.
What kinda dentist are you?
Despite that cart, I haven't
practiced dentistry in five years.
These days I practice a new profession.
Bounty Hunter.
D'you know what a Bounty Hunter is?
No.
Well
The way the slave trade
deals in human lives for cash,
a bounty hunter deals in corpses.
Prost.
The state places a bounty on a man's head,
I track that man, I find
that man, I kill that man,
after I've killed him, I transport that
man's corpse back to the authorities,
and sometimes that's
easier said then done,
I show that corpse to the authorities
proving, yes indeed,
I truly have killed him, at which point
the authorities pay me the bounty.
So like slavery, it's a
flesh-for-cash business.
What's a bounty?
It's like a reward.
You kill people and
they give you a reward?
Certain people, yeah.
Bad people?
Aah!
Badder they are, bigger the reward!
Which brings me to you.
And I must admit that I'm at a bit of
a quandary when it comes to you.
On one hand, I despise slavery.
On the other hand
I need your help, if you're not
in a position to refuse, all the better.
So for the time being, I'm gonna make
this slave malarkey work to my benefit.
Still having said that
I feel guilty.
So
I would like the two of us
to enter into an agreement.
I'm looking for the Brittle Brothers.
However I've had this endeavor,
I'm- I'm at a slight disadvantage,
in so far as, I don't
know what they look like.
But you do don't you?
I know what they look like, all right.
Good.
So here's my agreement.
You travel with me until we find them-
Where we goin'?
I hear at least two of them are overseeing
up in Gatlinburg, but I don't know where.
That means we visit every plantation
in Gatlinburg till we find them.
And when we find them
you point them out, and I kill them!
You do that, I agree to
give you your freedom,
twenty-five dollars per Brittle brother
-that's seventy-five dollars,
and as if on cue,
here comes the sheriff.
Okay boys, fun's over.
Come on out.
All right folks, calm down.
You bout your business.
The jokers will be gone soon.
Now
why y'all wanna come into
my town and start trouble,
and scare all these nice people?
You ain't got nothin' better to do,
than to come into Bill Sharp's
town and show your ass?
What did you jus' do to our sheriff?
Now you can get the marshall.
Marshall, marshall!
Should we wait inside?
Can't we just leave?
After you.
Move that buckboard long ways
'cross the street from the saloon!
I want six men, six riffles behind it.
I want two men, two rifles
up on this roof,
two men two rifles on that roof.
All the barrels aimed at that front door.
Somebody git poor Bill
outta the goddamn street.
You in the saloon!
We got a hundred riffles aimed
on every way outta that buildin'!
You got once chance git outta this alive!
You and your nigger come out right now
with your hands over your head,
and I mean, right now!
Is this the marshall I have
the pleasure of addressing?
Yes it is.
This is U.S. Marshall Gill Tatum.
That wunderbar, marshall.
I have relieved myself of all weapons,
and just as you have instructed,
I am ready to step outside,
with my hands raised above my head.
I trust,
as a representative of the criminal justice
system of The United States of America,
I shan't be shot down in the street,
by either you or your deputies,
before I've had my day in court.
You mean like you did our sheriff?
Shot 'em down like a dog in the street!
Yes, that's exactly what I mean!
Do I have your word as a lawman,
not to shoot me down
like a dog in the street?
Well, as much as we'd all enjoy
seein' somethin' like that,
ain't nobody gonna cheat
the hangman in my town.
Fair enough marshall, here we come!
They're a little tense out there.
So don't make any quick movements,
and let me do the talking.
Come ahead.
You unarmed?
Yes indeed we are.
Marshall Tatum, may I address
you and your deputies,
and apparently the
entire town of Daughtrey,
as to the incident that just occurred?
Go on.
My name is Dr. King Schultz,
and like yourself, marshall,
I am a servant of the court.
The man lying dead in the dirt,
who the good people of Daughtrey
saw fit to elect as their sheriff,
who went by the name of Bill Sharp,
is actually a wanted outlaw
by the name of Willard Peck,
with a price on his
head of two hundred dollars.
Now, that's two hundred dollars,
dead or alive.
The hell you say!
I'm aware this is probably
disconcerting news.
But I'm willing to wager
this man was elected sheriff
sometime in the last two years.
I know this because three years ago,
he was rustling cattle from the B.C.
Corrigan Cattle Company of Lubbock, Texas.
Now this is a warrant,
made out by circuit court Judge Henry
Allen Laudermilk of Austin Texas.
You're encouraged to wire him.
He'll back up who I am,
and who your dear departed sheriff was.
In other words marshall,
you owe me two hundred dollars.
I'll be damned.
After this Brittle business
is behind us
you'll be a free man.
With a horse, seventy five
dollars in your back pocket.
What's your plan after that?
Find my wife
and buy her freedom.
Django
I had no idea you were a married man.
Do most slaves believe in marriage?
Me and my wife do.
All men in Carrucan did,
and that's why we uh
we run off.
Django
Django, Django
You got sand, Django.
Boy's got sand.
I got no use for niggers with sand.
I want you to burn the runaway r
right here on his cheek.
And the girl too.
And I want you to take 'em
to the Greenville auction,
and sell 'em
Both of 'em
Separately.
And this one
you will sell him cheap.
In Greenville?
There should be some
sort of a records office.
You know when she was sold
you know where she came from
and you know her name.
What is her name?
Broomhilda.
What?
Broom-hilda.
Broomhilda?
Hm-hm.
Were her owners German?
Yeah, how you know?
She wan't born on The Carrucan Plantation,
she was raised by a German mistress.
Von Shafts.
She speak a little German too.
Your wife?
Hm-hm.
When she was little, her mistress taught
her so she has somebody speak German with.
Alright, let me get this straight.
Your slave wife speaks German,
and her name is Broomhilda Von Shaft?
Yep.
They call me Hildi.
When we gain access to these plantations,
we'll be putting on an Act.
You'll be playing a character.
Hm?
No?
But during the act,
you can never break character.
D'you understand?
Yeah. Don't break character.
And you character is that of the Valet.
What that is?
That's a fancy word for servant.
Valet.
Hm-hm!
And now Django, you may chose
your character's costume.
You want that I pick up my own clothes?
You- but of course!
It's against the law for niggers
to ride horses in this territory.
This is my valet,
my valet does not walk.
I said niggers on horses-
His name is Django, he's a free man,
he can ride what he pleases.
Not on my property.
Not around my niggers he can't.
My good sir
perhaps we got off on the wrong boot.
Allow me to unring this bell.
My name is Dr. King Schultz,
this is my valet Django,
and these are our horses
Tony and Fritz.
Mr. Bennett,
I've been lead to believe that you are
a gentleman, and a business man.
And it is for these attributes
we've ridden from Texas
to Tennessee to
parley with you now.
I wish to purchase
one of your nigger gals.
You and your Jimmie rode from Texas to
Tennessee, to buy one of my nigger gals?
No appointment, no nuttin'?
Oh, I'm afraid so.
Well what if I had to say I don't
like you, or your fancy pants nigger,
and I wouldn't sell you a tinkers damn.
Now what'cha gotta say about that?
Mr. Bennett,
if you are the business man
I've been led to believe you to be,
I have five thousand things, I might
say, that could change your mind.
Well com'on inside, and get yourself
somethin' cool to drink.
Huh?
Hm-hm.
Oh maybe, while we discuss business,
you could provide one of
your loveliest black creatures
to escort Django here around
your magnificent grounds.
Oh, absolutely!
Eh, Betina!
Yessir, Big Daddy?
Eh What's your Jimmie name again?
Django.
Django.
Betina sugar, could you take Django there,
and take him around the grounds here
to show him all the pretty stuff.
As you please, Big Daddy.
Oh, Mr. Bennett,
I must remind you Django is a free man.
He cannot be treated like a slave.
Within the bounds of good taste, he must
be treated as an extension of myself.
Understood, Schultz. Betina, sugar?
Yes, sir?
Django isn't a slave.
Django is a free man. You understand?
You can't treat him like any
of these other niggers around here,
cause he ain't like any of these
other niggers around here. Ya got it?
You wan' I should
treat him like white folks?
No.
That's not what I said.
Then I don't know
what'cha want, Big Daddy.
Yes I can see that.
Uh
What's the name of that peckawood boy
from town that works with the glass?
His mama works at the lumber yard.
Oh, you mean Jerry.
That's the boy's name, Jerry!
You know Jerry, don't you sugar?
Yes 'em, Big Daddy.
Well that's it then
You just treat 'em like you would Jerry.
The house we just left from,
is the big house.
Big daddy call it that, cause it's big.
That there is the pantry.
That's where Bid Daddy
hang out his day meat.
Full o'squirrels.
What'cha do for your massa'?
Didn't you hear him tell ya
I ain't no slave?
So you really free?
Yes. I as free.
You mean you wanna dress like that?
Betina, I need to ask you something.
What'cho want?
I'm lookin' for three white men.
Three brothers, overseers.
Their name is Brittle. Do you know 'em?
Brittle?
Yes, Brittle.
John Brittle, Ellis Brittle,
Roger Brittle. Sometime called Li'le Raj.
I don't know dem.
They could be usin' a different name.
They would have come to
the plantation this past year.
You mean The Shaffers?
Maybe. Three brother?
Ah-huh.
Are they here?
Ah-huh.
Could you point one of 'em out to me?
Well one's over in that field.
Old man Carrucan ain't going
to appreciate this now, she- she-
she work in a house, John,
you could mess her skin up,
and you gonna mess it up,
she ain't gonna be worth no-
she ain't gonna
worth a damn thing.
Like- like the bible say
Look, I- I told you, I was
the one to make her do it.
You're ready?
She the one who went up for me and,
thing about you we gettin' whipped now,
that should be me! That should be me John,
I been here long enough, you know me!
You know me a long time, now!
You know master Carrugen
ain't gonna appreciate this!
She's- she's a house slave!
Looking for freedom
Looking for freedom ah-aah
Please, please now.
If this what you want, to keep me funny
fighting for each other, please
I like the way you beg, boy.
Is that who you was lookin' for?
Yep.
Where the other two of 'em?
They by the stable, punishin'
Little Jody for breakin' eggs.
They whippin' Little Jody?
Point me in that direction.
You go to that tree,
and keep goin' that way.
Go git that white man I came here with.
Com'on now.
Com'on, Jody!
Let me all get you set up!
And the Lord said the fear of ye
and the dread of ye
shall be on every beast of here.
Hey, gimme that of what?
You better gimme that arm,
you gotta gimme that arm!
Okay, she ready!
And after this, we'll see
if you break eggs again.
John Brittle!
Remember me?
I like the way you die, boy!
Goddamn son-of-a-bitch!
Ya'all wanna see somethin'?
Ooh no!
Who are they?
That's Big John, and that's little Raj.
Where's Ellis?
He's the one hightailin' it
across that field right now.
You sure that's him?
Yeah.
Positive?
I dunno.
You don't know if you're positive?
I don't know what positive means.
It means you're sure.
Yes.
Yes, what?
Yes I'm sure it is Ellis Brittle.
I'm positive he dead.
Django!
Everybody calm down,
we mean no one else any harm.
Who are you two jokers?
I am Dr. King Schultz,
a legal representative
of the criminal justice system
of the United States of America,
the man to my left is Django
Freeman, he's my deputy.
In my pocket is a warrant
signed by circuit court judge Henry
Allen Laudermilk of Austin Texas,
for the arrest and capture,
dead or alive, of
John Brittle, Roger Brittle,
and Ellis Brittle.
They've gone by the name Shaffer.
You know them by the name of Shaffer,
but the butchers real name was Brittle.
These are wanted men.
The law wants them for murder.
Now I reiterate,
the warrant states dead or alive,
so when Mr. Freeman and myself
executed these men on sight,
we were operating
within our legal boundaries.
I realize
passions are high,
but I must warn you,
the penalty for taking deadly force
against a office of the court
in the performance of his duty is,
you will be hung by the neck
until you're dead.
May I please remove the warrant
from my pocket so you may examine it?
Gimmie.
Satisfied?
May I have that back, please?
Get off my land.
Post haste.
Load up the bodies as quickly as you can,
and let's get out of here.
Hell
That's 'em sonsabitches.
Now unless they start shootin' first
nobody shoot 'em.
That's way too simple for these jokers.
We're gonna whip
that nigger lover to death.
And I'm gonna personally strip
and clip that garboon myself.
Damn
I can't see fuckin' shit outta this thing.
We ready, or what?
Ah hold on, I'm fuckin'
with my eye holes.
Oh shit.
I just made it worse.
Who made this goddamn shit?
Willard's wife.
Wll mk yu wn gddmn mk!
Look, nobody's sayin' they
don't appreciate what Jenny did.
Well if all I hadda do
was cut a hole in a bag,
I coulda cut it better than this.
How 'bout you Robert, can you see?
Not too good.
I mean, if I don't move my head,
I can see pretty good, more or less.
But when I start ridin', the bag's
moving all over, and I'm ridin' blind.
Oh shit!
I just made mine worse.
Anybody bring any extra bags?
No, nobody brought an extra bag!
I'm just asking.
Do we hafta wear 'em when we ride?
Oh well Shitfire!
If you don't wear 'em as you ride up,
that just defeats the purpose.
Well I can't see in this fucking thing!
I can't breathe in this fucking thing,
and I can't ride in this fucking thing!
Well fuck all y'all, I'm going home!
Ya know I watched my wife work all day
gettin' thirty bags to get ready
for you ungrateful sonsabitches,
and all I hear is criticize,
criticize, criticize.
From now on, don't ask me
or mine for nothin'!
Now look
Let's not forget why we're here.
We gotta killer nigger
over that hill there.
And we gotta make a lesson outta 'em.
Okay, I'm confused.
Are the bags on or off.
I think we all think
the bags was a nice idea.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But not pointing 'ny fingers,
they could have been done better.
So how about no bags this time,
but next time, we do the bags right,
and then we go full regalia.
I get my bag off.
Wait a minute!
I didn't say no bags.
But nobody can see.
So?
So, it be nice to see.
Goddamit! This is a raid!
I can't see, you can't see. So what?
All that matters is
can the fuckin' horse see!
That's a raid!
Where's this shit!
There he is!
Get that nigger out from under 'at wagon.
And get that nigger lover
out o'the wagon!
That nigger ain't down here!
They're gone!
What?
They tricked us!
Well where are they?
Auf wiedersehen.
Bull time.
We get 'em now.
Cowards tend to do that.
Goddammit!
Would you care to?
I can't see shit out of this
He's getting away.
I got 'em.
Big Daddy's getting away.
I got 'em.
Got 'em.
For kids, ain't that short.
How you know Broomhilda's
first masters were German?
Broomhilda is a German name.
If they named her, it stands
to reason they'd be German.
Lots of gals where you from
named Broomhilda?
Broomhilda is the name of a character
in the most popular
of all the German legends.
There's a story 'bout Broomhilda?
Oh yes, there is.
Do you know it?
Every German knows that story.
Would you like me to tell you?
Well
Broomhilda was a princess.
She was the daughter of Wotan,
the god of all gods.
Anyway, her father is really mad at her.
What she do?
I can't exactly remember.
I think she disobeys him in some way.
So he puts her on top of the mountain.
Broomhilda's on a mountain?
It's a German legend, there's always going
to be a mountain in there somewhere.
And he puts a fire breathing dragon
there to guard the mountain.
And he surrounds her
in a circle of hellfire.
And there, Broomhilda shall remain,
unless a hero arises
brave enough to save her.
Does a fella arise?
Yes Django. As a matter of fact, he does.
A fella named Sigfried.
Does Sigfried save her?
Quite spectacularly so.
He scales the mountain,
because he's not afraid of it.
He slays the dragon,
because he's not afraid of him.
And he walks through hellfire
because Broomhilda's worth it.
I know how he feel.
I think I'm just starting to realize that.
Now Look Django
I don't doubt that one day
you will save your lady love.
But I can't let you go to Greenville
in a good conscious.
Slave Washington, in Mississippi,
isn't a place for you to visit.
Free or not, it's just too dangerous.
But let me ask you a question.
How do you like the
bounty hunting business?
Kill white folks, and they pay you for it?
What's not to like?
And I have to admit, we make a good team.
I thought you was mad at me
for killin' Big John and Lit'le Raj?
Yeah, on that occasion,
you were a tad overzealous,
but normally, that's a good thing.
How'd you like to partner up
for the winter?
What'd ya mean partner up?
You work with me through
the winter till the snow melts.
I give you a third of my bounties.
So we make some money this winter,
and when the snow melts,
I'll take you to Greenville myself,
and we'll find where they sent your wife.
Why you care what happen to me?
Why you care if I find my wife?
Frankly
I've never given anybody
their freedom before.
And now that I have,
I feel vaguely responsible for you.
Plus when a German meets a real life
Sigfried, that's kind of a big deal.
As a German, I'm obliged to help you
on your quest to rescue
your beloved Broomhilda.
Ooh, what happened to mister
I wanna shoot white folks for money?
His son's with him.
Well good.
He'll have a loved one with him.
Maybe even share a last word.
That's better then most of them get,
and a damn sight better then he deserves.
Put down the rifle.
Don't worry, I'm not mad at you.
Just take out Smitty Bacall's handbill.
Read it aloud.
Consider that today's lesson.
Wanted, dead or alive.
Smitty Bacall and the Smitty Bacall
gang.
For murder and stagecoach ro
robbery.
Seven zero zero ze-
Seven thousand.
Seven-
Thousand.
Seven thousand dollars for Smitty Bacall,
one thousand and five
hundred dollars for each of his gang
memb
members.
Known members of the Smitty
Bacall Gang are as fellows,
follows.
follows.
Dandy Michaels, Gerald Nash and
Crazy Craig Koons.
That is who Smitty Bacall is.
If Smitty Bacall wanted to
start a farm at twenty-two,
they would never have printed that.
But Smitty Bacall wanted
to rob stagecoaches,
and he didn't mind
killing people to do it.
D'you want to save your wife
by doing what I do?
This is what I do.
I kill people,
and sell their corpses for cash.
This corpse is worth
seven thousand dollars.
Now quit your pussyfootin'
and shoot him.
Pa?
Pa!
Here
You need to keep
this Smitty Bacall handbill.
Why?
It's good luck.
You always keep the handbill
of your first bounty.
That's accurate.
Doctor, Django, how the hell are ya?
Who the hell have you got there?
The Wilson-Lowe Gang.
Who the hell is the Wilson-Lowe Gang?
Bad Chuck Wilson and meaner Bobby Lowe,
and three of their acolytes.
Huh.
Well just leave 'em out here,
they ain't goin' nowhere.
Let's comin' outta the snowy snow and
git yourself some coffee.
Had a birthday yesterday, got some cake!
Pretty good.
Move along!
Do it, walk!
Keep moving.
Don't let that mud
slow you down, keep going.
Keep on.
Broomhilda Von Shaft, age twenty-seven,
r on right cheek
Calvin Candy.
He owns the fourth biggest cotton
plantation in Mississippi, Candyland.
Candyland?
Oh so you've heard of it?
Ain't no slave that ain't
heard of Candyland.
Well, apparently that's where you wife is,
and that's the repelling
gentleman who owns her.
Let's just hope she works in the out,
slaying in the field.
Oh no, she ain't in the field, mate.
She she pretty.
and she a tall girl, too.
The one you tore back up on the nag
he burnt her runaway on her cheek.
They got damned.
She no field nigger, but she ain't good
enough for the house no more either.
They're gonna try to make
her comfort girl.
What's a comfort-
Oh.
Now while I got freedom
Now while I got my gun.
So do we offer to buy her?
So
say
a man wants to buy a horse
needs to buy a horse.
He walks up to the farmer's farm,
he knocks on the farmer's door,
and asks the farmer to buy his horse.
And you know what the farmer says,
the farmer says: No.
Well I say: fuck that farmer.
And I'm stealin' that horse.
Fair enough, but now you are horse thief,
and they hang horse thieves.
Not to mention the horse
goes back to its original owner,
because the horse is still its property.
We need her and we need a bill of sale.
But if we ain't gonna try to buy,
then how we gonna get it?
May I offer an alternative
plan for action?
Go ahead.
The man walks up to the farmer's farm,
he knocks on the farmer's door,
and asks not to buy the horse,
but the farm,
and makes an offer so ridiculous,
the farmer's forced to say yes.
We're gonna offer to buy Candyland?
No, it's far too big, but apparently,
this farmer ain't all about the farm.
How much do you know
about mandingo fighting?
What?
Can you convincingly masquerade of someone
who's an expert on mandingo fighting?
Why?
Because my character is that of
a big money buyer from Dusseldorf,
here in Greenville to buy my way
into the mandingo fight game,
and your character is the mandingo
expert I hired to help me do it.
They call that One-Eyed Charly.
Bonjour.
Bonsoir, p'tite femme noire,
we are here to see Mr. Calvin Candy.
Enter.
Thank you.
You want me to play a black slaver?
Ain't nothin lower than a black slaver.
A black slaver is lower
than a head house nigger.
And buddy, that's pretty fuckin' low.
Then play him that way,
give me your black slaver.
Dr. Schultz!
Good to see you again.
Mr. Moguy.
Thank you for your assistance in creating
the opportunity for this appointment.
Nonsense, it's my job.
So, this is the One-Eyed Charly
I've heard so much about.
Yes, this is Django Freeman.
Django, this is Mr. Candie's lawyer,
Leonide Moguy.
Just call me Leo.
Calvin's in the Julius Caesar room,
y'all wanna follow me?
How long have you
been associated with Mr. Candie?
Oh, Calvin's father and I were about eleven
when we went to boarding school together.
Calvins' father father
put me through law school.
One could almost say, I was
raised to be Calvin's lawyer.
One could almost say, you's a nigger.
What did you say?
I say
Real nothing, he's just being cheeky.
Now, anything else about Mr. Candie
that I should know before I meet him?
Yes, he is a bit of a Francophile.
Ah, what civilized people aren't?
And he prefers Monsieur
Candie to Mister Candie.
Hmm, si c'est cela qu'il prfre.
He doesn't speak French. Don't speak
French to him, it'll embarrass him.
Get back on top now, turn around.
There you go.
There you go.
Why do you want to get
in the mandingo business?
You don't intend to allow your second
to make the proper introductions?
Quit stalling now.
Answer the question.
The awful truth?
Pff, I'm bored.
This seems like a good bit of fun.
Well, come on over.
We got us a fight goin' on,
that's a good bit of fun.
Won't you accompany me to the bar?
You don't go ahead in a house,
white man, even I know that.
Dr. Schultz
What a real pleasure-
Keep fighting, niggers!
.. and I might add, an honor.
Honored to meet you, please have a seat,
the pleasure's all mine.
Get Freeman Django here whatever he wants.
And I'll have sweet gin bourbon.
You go way, boy,
you do what I tell you!
He's got big and strong!
Com'on now!
Ah, he's not doing what I told him.
For God sake.
Bravo, Luigi, cosi e dai.
De casse piu rapido.
Com'on now boys,
this a fight to the death!
Hit that animal or you're ain't!
Ecco i con la spola tappeto.
La spola tappeto gi.
Big Fred, com'on!
Turn him around, now!
Use your strength, boy!
Com'on now, use your strength!
There you go!
There you go!
Look at that!
Yeah I told you, this is a wild man.
Do what I told you, boy.
Here you go!
Ah. No! Aah!
Do what I told you.
Ground him back, boy.
Ground him back!
Uh, you no lose!
No! No!
Finish him.
Go on, boy, finish him!
That's why they call him big Fred!
Worth every penny.
Well, arrivederchi, Luigi!
Com'on up now boy, get yourself a rest,
you did a fine job, a real fine job.
Proceed in.
Tequila.
What's your name?
Django.
Can you spell it?
D, J, A, N, G, O.
The D is silent.
I know.
Umberto, andiamo.
Mr. Moguy,
I want you to take care
o' my new boy here.
You find him a room with a soft bed,
and you bring him up
a pony to lick his pawl.
You be ready to travel to Candyland
tomorrow mornin' now, you hear?
Yessir, Mr. Candy.
Oh before you go, Roscoe,
get Fred here a tall beer.
You enjoy that, boy.
You've earned it.
Yessir.
What's your name, boy?
His name is Django Freeman.
Hm-hm.
Where did ya dig him up?
A fortuitous turn of events
brought Django and myself together.
I've heard tell about you.
I heard you've been telling ev'rybody
that mandingos are not damn good,
ain't nothing nobody is selling
is worth buying, I'm curious.
What makes you such a mandingo expert?
I'm curious what makes you so curious?
What did you say, boy?
Calm down Butch.
No offense given
None taken.
Uh, Monsieur Candie
Uhm, I'd appreciate if you could direct
your line of inquiry toward me.
One.
You do not have anything to drink,
can I get you a tasty refreshment.
Yes! I'll have a beer.
Wunderbar.
Roscoe, a beer for the man with the beard,
and I will have a Polynesian Pearl Diver,
do no spill the rum.
Doc
I'm a seasoned slaver, you are-
well, you are a neophyte,
I'm simply trying to ascertain if this
cowboy here is taking advantage of you.
With all due respect,
Monsieur Candie,
I didn't seek you out for your advice.
I sought you out to purchase a fighting
nigger at above top dollar market price.
I was under the impression
when you granted me an audience,
it would be to discuss business.
But we weren't talking business yet.
We were discussing my curiosity.
Roscoe, Coco, go outside and play.
Sheba,
you stay right there.
I know you didn't name me.
Prost.
Jambo.
Now according to Moguy,
if I do business with you,
I'm doin' business with both of y'all.
He does the eyeballin',
you the billfold, is that it?
Well, you don't make it sound
too flattering, but more or less, yeah.
So
Bright Boy,
Moguy tells me you looked
over my African flesh,
and you was none too impressed, huh?
Not for top dollar.
Well then we got nothing
more to talk about.
You see, you wanna buy
a beat ass nigger from me,
those was all the beat ass
niggers I wanna sell, so
He don't wanna buy
the niggers you wanna sell.
He wants the nigger
you don't wanna sell.
I don't sell the niggers
I don't wanna sell.
Well, hm. You won't sell your best.
You won't even sell your second best.
But your third best
you don't want to sell him either
but if I made you an offer so ridiculous
you'd be forced to consider it
who knows what could happen?
And what do you consider ridiculous?
For a truly talented specimen,
well The Right Nigger?
How much would you say, Django?
Twelve thousand dollars.
Gentlemen
You had my curiosity.
Now you have my attention.
Willie Willie.
Hold up! Hold up.
Aah.
Good morning, gentlemen.
Good Dr. Schultz.
Beautiful morning isn't it?
You couldn't have picked a better one.
Please, won't you take a ride
with us here in the Victorian.
Oh, thank you very much.
Tie your horse up back there.
Django!
Well I part company from many
of my phenologist colleagues,
cause I believe
there's a level above bright,
above talented, above loyal
that a nigger can aspire.
Say one nigger that just
pops up on ten thousand.
The exceptional nigger.
Bright day uh, Bright Boy?
Sun is up.
Shinin' on all of us.
Have a seat, Doc.
Great an honor.
The honor is all ours.
Thank you.
.. but I do believe that given time,
exceptional niggers like Bright Boy here,
will come if not freedom
more freedom
Bright Boy,
you are that one in ten thousand.
The name of the game is keep up,
not catch up, nigger.
Touch your guns, you're dead.
Everybody calm down!
I saw the whole thing, no harm done.
Are you- are you kiddin' me, this nigger-
I said no harm done!
Now take your hands off your pistol!
Butch!
That means you too.
Ev'rybody stop antagonizing my guests.
Who!
Git back upon your horse.
He broke my collarbone!
For God sake, somebody please help Who
here back upon his goddamn horse.
Ooh, now you are one lucky nigger.
You got to listen to your boss, white boy.
Oh I'm a good walk in
any moonlight for you.
You wanna hold my hand?
Willie!
Take us home.
You got a problem with your eyeball, boy?
No sir.
You wan' a boot heel in it?
No sir.
Then keep your goddamn eyeballs off me.
Flash that bad look at me again,
I give you a reason not to like me.
Now move, nigger!
You niggers gonna understand
somethin' 'bout me.
I'm worse than any o'these white men here.
You keep them eyelash inside your ass,
you keep them goddamn eyeballs off me.
He is a rambunctious sort, ain't it?
Indeed!
May you stop for a moment,
so I may put put a word in my man's ear?
Yeah, I'm expecting to fall in love once
I see the specimen of Candyland,
so before that moment,
it would be good if I could have
a confidential strategy
meeting with my confident.
You mind tellin' me
what the hell you doing?
I've confirmed that
Broomhilda's at Candyland.
Are you sure it's her?
He didn't call her by name,
but she's a young lady,
whip marks on her
back, and speaks German.
Now while it's not wise to assume,
in this instance,
I think it's pretty safe.
Point being
don't get so carried away
with your retribution.
We lose sight on why we're here.
You think I lost sight, did I?
Yes, I do! Stop antagonizing Candy!
You're going to blow this whole charade,
or more than likely get both of us killed,
and I, for one, don't intend to die
in Chickasaw County, Mississippi, U.S.A.
I'm not antagonizing.
I'm intriguing him.
You- you're yelling abuse
of these poor slaves!
I recall the man.
who had me killed another
man in front o' his son,
and he didn't bat an eye.
Remember that?
Yeah of course I remember!
What you said was
You said, this ain't my word
In my word you got to get dirty.
So that's what I'm doing.
I'm getting dirty.
Well you're paraphrasing a tad, but
that was it generally, just
see you at Candyland.
Alright niggers!
Back at it.
That means you too, moonlight.
I'll 'be. D'Artagnan!
Now well, why do a fool thing
like run off?
I can't fight no more, Monsieur Candy.
Yes you can!
Yu mght nt b bl t wn,
but yur n fght.
Mr. Stonesipher, would you please
shut these goddamn dogs up,
I cannot hear myself think!
Hush now, Marsha! Hush up, Marsha!
Marsha, hush up!
Hey, get these goddamn dogs
away from this nigger!
Well now boy
Gidown o' that tree.
Yes sir.
How long was he lose?
A night
day
Half the other night.
How far he git off property?
Bout twenty miles off prop.
Pretty fer, conside'ing that limp he got.
Mr. Moguy, who was D'Artagnan
supposed to fight on Friday?
One of this new lot.
The way he looks now, a blind Indian
wouldn't bet a bead on 'em.
Please Mr. Candy, I ain't got it,
ain't it no more, I can't-
No no no no,
now no beggin'
No playin' on my soft heart.
You're in trouble, now son.
I done paid 500 dollars for you
When I pay 500 dollars
I expect to get five fights outta a nigga
'fore he rollover and play dead.
Got to understand, I'm
I'm running a business here!
You- you fought three fights.
But I won everyone!
Yes you did. Yes you did,
but that last one, you muddled the line
between winning and losing.
Still the fact remain.
I pay 500 dollars,
I want five goddamn fights!
So what 'bout my
five hundred dollars, huh?
What about my five hundred dollars?
You go n' reimburse me?!
You even know what reimburse means?
I'll reimburse you!
You will?
You pay 500 dollars
for pratic'lly a one eyed Ole'Joe
ain't fit to push a broom?
No, he won't.
He's just tired of you
toyin' with him, is all.
Matter o' facts, so am I.
But we ain't payin' a penny
for that pickaninny,
ain't got no use for 'em,
ain't that right, Doc?
You heard 'em!
I'm gonna have to excuse
Mr. Stonesipher slack jaw gaze, he
he ain't never seen a nigger
like you ever in his life.
Ain't that right, Mr. Stonesipher?
That right.
That matter
Won't have that.
Now
Sin'e as you won't pay a penny
for this pickaninny here
you won't mind me handlin'
this nigger anyway I see fit?
He's your nigger.
Mr. Stonesipher?
Let Marsha and her bitches
send D'Artagnan to nigger heaven.
Marsha! Git the nigger!
Your boss looks a little
green around the gills
for a blood sport like 'nigger fightin'?
No.
He just ain't use to seein' a man
ripped apart by dogs, is all.
You are used to it?
I'm just a little more use
to American's than he is.
Now Monsieur Candy,
whenever you're ready.
We rode five hours so you could
show off your stock.
Let's git to it.
Cause as of now, if he's an example
I ain't impressed.
Follow me.
Line up to the left here now niggers.
That's it.
You gimme a line, gimme a line.
Get in line here. Right now!
Hello, Steven my boy!
Yeah yeah yeah, hello my ass.
Who this nigger up on that nag?
Oh Steven, you have nags for breakfast.
What's the matter, why so ornery,
you miss me, huh?
Oh-oh yes sir, I miss you like
a home miss flower,
like a - like a- a baby miss Mum n' Teddy,
I miss you like I misses
a rock in my shoe.
Now I ask you:
who this nigger, on that nag?
Hey Snowball.
If you wanna know my name
or the name of my horse, you ask me.
Just who the hell you
callin' Snowball, horse boy?
I'll snap your black ass of
that nag there in the mud-
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Steven, Steven.
Let's keep it funny.
Django here is a Freeman.
This nigger here?
That nigger there.
Let me at least introduce the two of you.
Django, this is another cheeky
black bugger like yourself, Steven.
Steven, this is Django.
You two ought to hate each other.
Calvin, just who the hell is this nigger
you feel the need to entertain?
Django, and his friend in grey
here Dr. Schultz are customers,
and they are our guests, Steven,
and you, you old decrepit bastard,
are to show them every hospitality.
You understand that?
Yessir, here I'm understandin',
but I don't know why I gotta
take lip off this nigger?
You don't hafta know why.
Do you understand?
Yes sir, I understand.
Oh good!
They're spendin' the night, go up in the
guest bedrooms and get two ready.
He gonna stay in the Big House?
Steven, he's a slaver.
It's different.
In the Big House?
Well you gotta problem with that?
No, no no I got no problem with it,
with you I gotta problem with burnin'
the bed, the sheets, the pillow cases,
ev'rything up when this
black ass motherfuckers gone!
Now that is my problem,
they are mine to burn!
Now your problem right now
is making a good impression.
And I want you to start
solving that problem right now,
and git them goddamn rooms ready!
Yes sir, Monsieur Candie.
Go on now.
Can't believe you brought a nigger
to stay in the Big House.
You get a rollin' over and
it's God man free right now.
He had a lip on you.
A nigger in the estate part.
What shit is that!?
Now.
Where is my beautiful sister!
There she is!
Dr. Schultz, this attractive
southern belle is my widowed sister.
Darling, you are a diamond for tired eyes.
May I present to you
Lara Lee Candie-Fitzwilly.
Chester, Rodney, Chicken Charlie,
you'll git your ass up on that hill.
Com'on Charlie, go on now.
Go, com'on now.
You know where it is.
Like you on a rope!
Niggers don't walk 'round here!
Niggers run!
Ah, Monsieur Candie?
Hmm?
About that matter, about the nigger girl
we were talking about?
Nigger girl?
Yeah, I believe you mentioned
she spoke German?
Ah yes, Hildi, what about her?
Do you think before the demonstration
you could send her around to my room?
You little Dickens, you!
I don't see why not.
Steven, when you get through showing
them to their rooms, go fetch Hildi,
get her cleaned up and smellin' nice,
and sent over to Dr. Schultz's room.
Actually, Monsieur Candie, it's-
it's somethin' I ain't tole you that yet.
What?
Uh, Hildi in The Hot Box.
What's she doin' there?
What 'cha think she doin' there,
in The Hot Box, she bein' punished.
What did she do?
She ran off again.
Jesus Christ Steven, how many
people ran away while I was gone?
Two.
And when did she go?
Last night, they- they
brought her back this morning.
How bad did
Stonesipher's dogs tear her up?
Lucky for her, they was
out chasin' D'Artagnan's ass.
Bill and Cody went out lookin' for her,
found her and brought her back, uh
Now she a little beat up,
but- but she done that the all damn self,
runnin' through them damn bushes and shit.
How long she been in the box?
How long ya think, she been
in there all damn day!
And the lit'le bitch got ten
more days be in there.
Steven, take her out.
Take her out, why?!
Because I said so, that's why.
Dr. Schultz is my guest.
Hildi is my nigger, Southern hospitality
dictates I make her available to him.
But Monsieur Candie, she just ran off.
Jesus Christ Steven, what is the point
of havin' a nigger that speaks German,
if you can't wheel 'em out
when you have a German guest?
Now I realize it is inconvenient
but still, you take her ass out!
Yes sir.
Lara Lee, will you and Cora
be responsible for getting
Hilda cleaned up and
presentable for Dr. Schultz here?
Of course, darling.
Now gentlemen, I do apologize, but I'm
wearer for our travels beyond words,
it is time for me to rest my tired ass.
Ya'all have heard the man,
get yar ass, all part of it.
Go! Come here!
Get over there, get her cleaned up,
bring her back over here to doctor
what- what did you say
your name is, Schut?
Schultz.
Schultz!
Git her back over here, alright girl?
Yes sir.
Hilda, you comin with me, or you
gonna sleep in that lit'le box over here?
Hello ladies.
Dr. Schultz, may I introduce
to you Broomhilda.
Hildi, this is Dr. Schultz.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Broomhilda.
I've heard a lot of good things about you.
Well, it's not often a nigger
speaks German, don't you know?
As I look at you now, Broomhilda,
I could see all the passion
you inspire completely justified.
The doctor here speaks German!
And I've been informed you do as well?
Go ahead girl, speak a little German.
Astonishing.
And I should bring-
Much obliged.
Don't be afraid.
Pardon.
Hey Little Trouble Maker.
You silver tongued devil you.
Look Monsieur Candie, they were
all fine specimens, no doubt about it.
But the best three, by far, were:
Sampson
Well, what's his name again?
Goldie.
Goldie and Eskimo Joe.
By the way, why is he called Eskimo Joe?
Oh, you never know how these
nigger nicknames get started.
His name was Joe, maybe one day
he said he was cold, who knows?
Well, regardless,
Samson's your best,
we all know that,
you will never sell him,
and I can see why, he's a champion.
Hm-hm-hm!
All three are champions.
Samson's champion.
Them other two pretty good.
Calvin, what that nigger- you let-
That's alright, that's alright.
You have to understand Monsieur Candie,
while admittedly a neophyte
in the nigger fight game,
I do have a little bit of a background
in the European traveling circus.
Is that right?
Hence I have big ideas
when it comes to presentation.
I need something
more than just a big nigger.
He needs to have panache.
Need to have what what what?
Panache, hum
A sense of showmanship!
Showmanship, yes.
I want to be able to bill him
him as the Black Hercules.
Black Hercules, isn't that clever?
More like niggerly.
I said, and I quote:
I would pay top dollar
for the Right Nigger.
Now I'm not saying that Eskimo Joe
is the wrong nigger per se
but is he right as rain?
Dr. Schultz,
I will have you know,
there is no one in the nigger
fight game that appreciates
the value of showmanship more
than Monsieur Calvin J. Candie.
Nobody.
But one must not forget the most
important thing in the nigger fight game.
And that is a nigger that can win fights.
Now that should be your first, second,
third, four, and fifth concern.
Now after you have that,
and you know you have that,
then you can start to
implement a grand design.
In other words, first thing is first.
First thing is first.
I see you two gettin' on.
Famously.
Oh Monsieur Candie, you can't
imagine what it's like
not to hear you native
tongue in four years.
Well hell, I can't imagine
two weeks in Boston.
Two weeks in Boston,
oh that's your- oh man!
Ah, two weeks in Boston!
I can't express the joy I felt
conversing in my mother tongue.
And Hildi is a charming
conversation companion.
Ah be careful now Doctor Schultz,
you might have caught yourself
a little dose of Nigella.
Nigella's a powerful emotion, boy.
It's like a pool of black tar,
once it catches your ass, you can't-
Yessir, you can't.
I don't know doctor, you can lay on all
the German sweet talk you want, but
it looks like this pony's
got big eyes for Django.
Well naturally, it is the soaring eagle
that attracts her attention,
not the plucked chicken.
Dr. Schultz, don't be
so down on yourself,
you are quite a dapper European gentleman.
You gotta finish this, you got to put your
elbow in this, this is, do you hear me-
You know that nigger, don't ya?
Who?
Who?
Don't who me bitch,
you know who I'm talking about!?
At the table?
I don't know him.
You don't know him?
No.
No what?
No sir.
You wouldn't lie to me now, would you?
Okay
If- if you say so.
Eskimo Joe's a quality nigger,
no doubt about it.
But if it was my money
I wouldn't pay no twelve
thousand dollars for him.
What would your price be?
Well, if I was inclined to be generous,
and I don't know why I would
be inclined to be generous
nine thousand
maybe.
Dr. Schultz
Let me reclarify how this
whole negotiation came about.
You see, it wasn't me who came
to you to sell a nigger,
Sure, it wasn't.
It was you who approached me to buy one.
Sure it was.
Now that nine thousand dollar
figure Bright Boy was banding about,
that ain't too far off from right,
and if I wanted to sell
Eskimo Joe for that,
I could do so any day of the week.
Any day.
But like you said in Greenville doctor,
I don't wanna sell 'em.
It was only your
ridiculous offer
of twelve thousand dollars
that made me even consider it.
Hmm-hmm.
You know Monsieur Candie,
you do possess the power of persuasion.
Why not, Monsieur Candie, you have a deal,
Eskimo Joe, twelve thousand dollars!
Hurray, doctor, hurray,
and a wise decision, that is!
However, that is a tremendous
amount of money.
And the way you have your Mr. Moguy,
I have a lawyer,
a persnickety man named Tuttle,
And I would need my Mr. Tuttle
to draw up a legal contract
before I'd feel comfortable exchanging
that amount of money for flesh.
Not to mention having Eskimo Joe
examined by a physician of my choosing.
Naturally.
So say I return in about
.. five days time.
Five days ?!
With my Mr. Tuttle.
And then my Mr. Tuttle
and your Mr. Moguy can hash out
the finer details between themselves.
I say splendid Doctor
Splendid.
Gentlemen
may I propose a toast
to Eskimo Joe.
Or, shall we call him
the Black Hercules.
To the Black Hercules.
The Black Hercules!
The Black Hercules
You was right, Doctor,
that name do help pay an ass.
Hildi
I'm outta drink, girl.
So Hildi how you like servin'
at the big table in the big house, huh?
When Monsieur Candy talk to you,
you answers.
I like it a lot, Monsieur Candie.
Hmm-hmm.
It's a lot better than
sizzling in that hot box,
or draggin' your ass
through a bramble bush.
Maybe it's not quite as much fun as
getting the pleasure o' the mandingos,
huh sugar babe?
Hmm oh, she like them new.
Like Simpson, huh?
Yessir.
You know Monsieur Candie,
Hmm?
the doctor here might be interested
in seein' Hildi's peeled back,
since how they don't have
many niggers where he come from.
Dr. Schultz, when you
was alone with Hildi here,
did- didja just speak German, or
did ya git her clothes off?
No, we just talked and
Oh so- so you haven't seen her back?
I haven't-
No no no, now Steven's right,
you might find this interesting.
Hildi, com'on take off your dress,
show Dr. Schultz your back here, go on!
Uh, Calvin, I just got her all
dressed up and looking nice.
But Lara Lee, Dr. Schultz is from
Dusseldorf,they don't got niggers there.
He's a man of medicine.
I'm sure it would fascinate him,
the niggers endurance for pain.
These niggers are tough
Dr. Schultz, no doubt about it.
Hilda's got somethin' like
four lashes on her back.
Lare Lee, just get-
why don't you lose her goddamn mat?
Look a' that, doctor, it's like
a painting, look at that.
Calvin!
We are eating, ain't no one
wanna look at her whipped up back!
Fine. Fine, fine fine fine
After the dinner, Steven.
After dinner.
During the brandies, gentlemen. Uh?
Cora, come get this girl!
She all messed.
Yes ma'am?
Oh! Why are you all undone?
I just got you done,
now come over, here!
Baby, you got Steven his bad side,
when you need to be on his blind side.
You said you ain't know him?
Huh?
I said you said you ain't know him.
I don't.
Yes you do.
Mister Steven
I don't.
Why is you lyin' to me?
I ain't.
Then why is you cry?
You scarin' me.
Why is I'm scarin' you?
Because you scary.
.. to speak German this afternoon
with Hildi, was positively soul enriching.
You stay in that chair.
You indicated earlier
you'd be willing to part with Hildi.
Oh yes.
Yesiree Bob I did.
In that case allow me
to propose another proposition.
I'm all ears.
Hurry up, goddammit!
Monsieur Candie-
Steven!
You just interrupted Dr. Schultz here!
Uhm sorry doctor Schultz,
my ears ain't worth a damn these days.
Monsieur Candie, could I get
a word with you in the kitchen.
You mean get up outta my chair?
If you could manage it.
Why?
It's about dessert.
What about dessert?
I'd rather discuss that in private.
We're havin' white cake.
What sort of melodrama
could be brewing back there?
You right Monsieur Candy, you right,
I'll handle it myself.
Meet me in the library.
I just can't understand why
you won't come talk to the evening,
she get fucked up 'round here,
you blame me.
Fine, fine friend Steven, I
will be along momentarily.
Yessir.
Well
gentlemen
as you can see, talented as they are
no doubt in the kitchen,
from time to time
adult supervision is required.
If you'll excuse me a moment.
You may clear the dinner service.
Hurry up girl.
So Dr. Schultz
Why don't you regal us
with the tale of the circus?
The circus!
What is the matter?
Them motherfuckers ain't here
to buy no mandingos.
They wants that girl.
Steven, what the hell
are you talkin' about, hm?
They playin' your ass for a fool,
that what I'm talkin' bout.
They ain't here for
no muscle bound jimmie,
they here for that girl.
What what girl.
What Hildi?
Yeah, Hildi. Her and Django?
Them niggers know each other.
He he just bought Eskimo Joe.
Did he give you any money?
No, not yet, but they go-
Then he didn't buy diddly,
not yet no how.
But he's just about to buy who he come
here to buy, when I interrupted him.
Thank you Steven.
You're welcome Calvin.
Whe- where you gettin' all this?
Why would they go through all
that trouble for a nigger with a-
with a chewed up back,
ain't worth three hundred dollars?
They're doin' it cause that nigger
Django's in love with Hildi.
She probably his wife.
Now, why that German give a fuck who that
uppity son-of-a-bitch is in love with,
I'm sure I don't know.
If she's who they want
why this whole snake oil
pitch about mandingos in?
You wouldn't pay no never mind
into three hundred dollar.
But that twelve thousand?
That made you real friendly now, didn'it?
Yes it did.
His wife, uh?
If it had been a snake
we would have beat'em.
Those lyin' goddamn time
wastin' sonsabitches.
Sonsabitches!
.. out of New Orleans, so I had quite
a bit of practice with theaters types.
Oh there you are!
I was beginning to think that you
and that old crow ran off together.
That'd be a hell of a note, wouldn't it?
Lara Lee
I was just lookin' out the big window.
Billy Crash is out there dealin' with some
shady slaver try n' sellin'
a passel of ponys,
would you be a dear and go out
there give them gals an eyeball.
Of course, brother.
Thank you, darling.
Okay. Business never sleeps.
A propos
before your exit, we were discussing the
possibility of my purchasing Broomhilda.
Ah yes! Yes we would.
And we will again in a moment.
Who is your little friend?
This is Ben
He's a Ol'Joe that
lived around here for a long time.
And I do mean a long damn time.
Well Ben here
took care of my daddy
and my daddy's daddy
till the open kill doe who one day
who been took care o'me.
Growin'up the son of a of a
huge plantation owner in Mississippi
puts a white men in contact with
a whole lot o' black faces.
I spent my whole life here
right here in Candyland
surrounded by black faces.
And seein' them ev'ry day,
day in day out, I
I only had one question.
Why don't they kill us?
Now right up there on that porch
three times a week for fifty years,
Ol'Ben here would shave
my Daddy with a straight razor.
Now if I was Ol'Ben, I would
have cut my Daddy's goddamn throat,
and it wouldn't have taken me
no fifty years to do it neither.
But he never did.
Why not?
You see
the science of analogy
is crucial to understandin' the
separation about two species.
In the skull of the African here
the area associated with submissiveness
is larger than any human or any other
sup human species on planet earth.
If you examine
this peace of skull here
you'll notice three distinct dimples.
Here here and here.
Now
If I was holding a skull of a- of a
of an Isaac Newton or Galileo,
these three dimples would be found in the
area o'the skull most associated with
creativity.
ut th' th kull f l'n.
And in the skull of Ol'Ben,
unburden by genes,
these three dimples exist in the area
of the skull most associated with
servility.
Now Bright Boy
I will admit you are pretty clever.
But if I took this hammer here
and I bashed it in your skull
you would have the same three dimples.
in the same place
as Ol'Ben.
Now lay your palms flat on the table top!
If you lift those palms off
that turtle shell table top,
Mr. Butch is gonna let loose with
both barrels of that sawed off!
There have been a latta lies said
around this diner table here tonight,
but that you can believe!
Mr. Moguy,
would you be so kind as to collect the
pistol hangin' on those boys hips here?
Thank you ever so much.
Doctor.
Where were we?
Jackass.
Oh yes
I do believe you were just getting ready
to make me a proposition to buy Broomhilda.
I am right?
Right then.
Bring out Hildi!
Your way, honey.
Sit your ass in that goddamn chair!
Lay your hands flat on that table.
And shut your mouth!
Dr. Schultz in Greenville,
you yourself said,
that for the Right Nigger
you'd be willing to pay
what some may consider
is a ridiculous amount.
To which, me myself said,
What is your definition of ridiculous?,
to which you said,
Twelve thousand dollars.
Now considering you all have
ridden a whole lotta miles,
went to a whole
lotta trouble,
and done spread a whole lotta bull,
to purchase this lovely lady right here,
it would appear that Broomhilda
is in fact the Right Nigger!
And if y'all wanna leave
Candyland with Broomhilda
the price is twelve thousand dollars.
And I take it you prefer the take it
or leave it style of negotiating?
Yes I do, doctor.
You see, under the laws of Chickasaw
County, Broomhilda here is my property.
And I can chose to do with
my property whatever I so desire!
And if you all think my price
for this nigger here is too steep,
what I'm gonna desire to do is
take this fuckin' hammer here,
and beat her ass to death with it!
Right in front of both y'all!
Ain't it good, fella?
Then we can examine the three
dimples inside Broomhilda skull!
Now!
What's it gonna be, Doc?
Huh?
What's it gonna be?
May I lift the hands off the table
top in order to remove my billfold?
Yes you may.
That twelve.
Sold!
To the man with the exceptional beard,
and his unexceptional nigger.
Mr. Moguy.
Yes Calvin?
You make this gentleman a receipt
for twelve thousand dollar, please.
Twelve thousand dollar.
Hm.
It was a pleasure doin'
business with ya all.
Now gentlemen
If you care to join me in the parlor
we will be serving white cake.
Well done, Calvin.
Excuse me
Excuse me, madam?
Could you please stop playing Beethoven?
Take your hands off that harp!
Doctor!
Doc, you can't go in there!
Hey uh, Steven, hey!
He got no business goin' in there.
Let it be.
He's a little upset, that's all.
I'll handle this.
White cake?
I don't go in for sweets, thank you.
You brooding 'bout me
getting the best of ya, uh?
Actually, I was thinking of that
poor devil you fed to the dogs today.
D'Artagnan.
And I was wondering what
Dumas would make of all this.
Come again?
Alexandre Dumas.
He wrote The Three Musketeers.
Yes of course, doctor.
I figured you must be an admirer,
you named your slave after
his novel's lead character.
Now if Alexandre Dumas
had been there today,
I wonder what he would have made of it?
You doubt he'd approve?
Yes, his approval would be
a dubious proposition at best.
Soft hearted Frenchy?
Alexandre Dumas is black.
Are these Broomhilda's papers?
Yes they are.
May I?
Of course!
Thank you.
I dealt- her bill of sale of ownership is
written of course a freedom papers, doctor.
Would you have ink and pen for me?
Right over there, on that little table.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Broomhilda Von Shaft
consider yourself a free woman.
Mister Candy
Normally, I would say auf wiedersehen.
But since what auf wiedersehen
actually means is till I see you again,
and since I never wish
to see you again, to you sir,
I say good bye.
Let's go.
Com'on.
One more moment, Doctor!
What?
It's a custom here in the South,
once a business deal is concluded
that the two parties
shake hands.
It implies good faith.
I'm not from the South.
But you are
in my house doctor.
so I'm afraid I must insist.
Insist? On what?
That I shake your hand?
Oh, then I'm afraid I must insist
in the opposite direction.
You know what I think you are?
What you think I am?
No I don't.
I think you are a bad loser.
And I think you're an abysmal winner.
Never the less
here in Chickasaw County,
a deal ain't done
until the two parties have shook hands.
Even after all that paper signin',
don't mean shit
you don't shake my hand.
If I don't shake your hand,
you're gonna throw away
twelve thousand dollars?
I don't think so.
Mr. Butch,
if she tries to leave here before
this nigger lovin' German shakes my hand,
you cut her ass down.
You really want me to shake your hand?
I insist.
If you insist.
Aaah Calvin!
Caalvin!
I'm sorry.
I couldn't resist.
The nigger's going crazy, the hell-
Help, he's blowing everybody- Aaah!
Shit! Son of a bitch!
Get that fuckin'
Get that fuckin'-
Damn sonofabitch, what-
what did the fuckin'- goddammit!
What the-
Don't strike me!
You stupid sonofabitch!
Sorry Jessie!
Who the fuck gave a nigger
a goddamn gun!
Nigger, com'on and kill-
Aah! God! Ah my God, aah!
Motherfucker!
Hold your fire!
Hold your fire!
Stop shooting, goddammit!
Django!
What?
We got your woman!
Billy Crash here ha' got
his pistol upside her hair!
You'll stop all that gettin'on,
he don't blow her goddamn brains out.
And that ain't no third holes, boy!
That there is a promise.
Oh oh!
You ain't give up?
Thought you going, uh?
We will kill you!
How shit?!
Honest, ain't lyin', Django,
I swear o' all God.
You give up?
Ain't no harm gonna come t'you.
And I'm supposed to
believe your black ass?
Personal, I ain't give a good goddamn
what you believe or don't believe!
I believe, if you don't give up
in the next ten seconds,
we gonna blow this bitch her brains out!
Believe that!
Believe that!
You give me up.
Six!
Just let me go!
Seven!
I take care too much.
Django.
Eight!
I love you.
Nine!
Hold it!
No!
I give up.
I can't hear you, nigger.
I said: I give up!
Hock a litl'e doodle, nigger.
So y'all bounty hunters, huh?
I knew there was
something fishy 'bout y'all.
We found your wanted posters
and book of figures in your saddle bags.
I gotta say
I ain't never heard of no
black bounty hunter before.
A black boy paid to kill white men,
how d'you like that line of work?
Prob'bly pretty good while it lasted, uh?
Time to say goodnight to them nuts, black.
On three
One
I got you.
Two
Calm down nigger, keep calm.
Cap't?
Miss Lara wants to see you.
That is somethin' to do
with the Old Man's funeral.
Oh, and she changed her mind
'bout snippin' Django.
She gonna give 'em to the
LeQuint Dickey people.
Well she didn't waste a minute tellin' me.
How disappointing.
You n' me.
These ain't
what you take with you.
Your black ass been all the
motherfuckers' in that Big House
could talk about for the last few hours.
Seemed like white folk ain't never
had a bright idea in their life,
was comin' up with all kinds
o'ways to kill your ass.
Now mind ya, most of 'dem ideas had
to do with fuckin' with your fun parts.
Now, that may seem like
a good idea, but truth is
when you snip a nigger's nuts,
most of 'em bleed out, know 'bout
seven minutes, most of 'em
More than most.
Then I say is
Hells bells
the niggers we sell to LeQuint Dickey,
got it worse then that.
And they're still sayin'
Let's whip 'em to death,
Dump 'em to the mandingos,
Feed 'em to Stonesipher's dogs.
And I say, What's so special 'bout that?
We do that shit all the time!
Hells bells, the niggers we sell to
LeQuint Dickey got it worse then that.
Low and behold, out of nowhere,
miss Lara come up with the bright idea
of givin' your ass to the LeQuint
Dickey Mining Company.
And as a slave of the LeQuint
Dickey Mining Company,
hence forth, till the day you die,
all day, ev'ryday,
you will be swingin' a sledgehammer,
turning big rocks into little rocks.
Now when you get there,
they gonna take away your name,
give you a number, and a sledgehammer,
and say get to work.
One word of says,
they cuts out your tongue,
they's good at that too,
you won't believe that.
Ooh, they does that for you.
They gonna work you, all day,
ev'ry day, till your back give up.
Then they gonna hit you
in the head with the hammer,
tow your ass down
the nigger hole.
And that will be the story end
for you, Django.
Hey, white boy
I said: hey, white boy!
Shut up, black, you ain't got
nothing to say I wanna hear.
How'd you like to make
eleven thousand dollars?
D'you ain't hear?
I said, how d'you like to make
eleven thousand dollars?
Eleven thousand five hundred, actually.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Back there at that plantation Candyland,
there was an eleven thousand five
hundred dollar fortune,
just sittin' there,
and y'all rode right past it.
You be damned, blackie,
we're not bandits.
I ain't sayin' that, nice thing
'bout this fortune it is.
It ain't illegal,
you can't steal it,
ya gotta earn it, white boy.
You got something to say,
mate, you say it.
The eleven thousand five hundred dollar
fortune waiting for you back at Candyland,
is in the form of a wanted
dead or alive bounty
on Smitty Bacall,
and the Bacall Gang.
Who the fuck is Smitty Bacall?
Smitty Bacall is the leader of this
murdering gang of stagecoach robbers,
the Bacall Gang.
There's a seven thousand dollar
wanted dead or alive bounty on him,
one thousand five hundred dollars
for each of his three accomplices.
Dandy Michaels,
Gerald Nash,
Crazy Craig Koons.
Now all four o'them gentlemen,
they're back there at Candyland,
laughin' their ass off.
You know why?
Cause they just got away with murder.
But it ain't got to be that way.
You and your mate, young rabbit
and Yango get that money.
What these jokers do again?
These sonofabitch, they-
they killed innocent people.
Stagecoach robbery.
Innocent white people!
I got the handbill right here
in my pocket if you let me get it.
Get it here.
Wanted dead or alive Smitty Bacall
and the Smitty Bacall gang.
But you're a slave!
I ain't no goddamn slave!
Do I sound like a fuckin' slave?
- 7000 dollars for Smitty Bacall
This is a shit load!
I'm a bounty hunter.
Yesterday, as a free man,
I rode in the Candyland,
on a horse, with my German
white partner, Dr. King Schultz.
We tracked the Bacall gang all the way
from Texas, to Chikasaw County.
We finally found their ass
laying low at Candyland.
We went in there to get 'em,
things went sour,
my partner got killed,
Calvin Candie got shot.
Then ev'rybody there decided
to blame me, so here I am.
But Django ain't on that manifest,
and all o'you know I ain't
supposed to be on this trip.
But them four men are still back there,
they're still wanted,
and that eleven thousand
five hundred is up for grabs,
and the last thing they'd expect
is y'all ridin' back and gittin' it.
What's the deal?
You tell us who they are
and we turn you lose?
I ain't tellin' who they are.
Look, you give me a pistol,
one o'them horses,
and five hundred dollars of that
eleven thousand five hundred,
and I'll point 'em out to you.
This a real handbill.
Ah jus'cause it's a real handbill's doesn't
mean that other bunch o'malarky is.
Now why would a slave have a wanted
dead or alive handbill in his pocket?
Ain't that black ridin' into
Candyland yesterday?
Alright
I'm gonna ask you again
I want you to remember I don't like liars.
Is he a Candyland slave, or did he ride in
with a white man on horse yesterday?
Yeah.
They walked us from
the Greenville Auction and
he rode in on a horse
with a white man.
And this white man
was the black his slave?
He weren't no slave.
You- you fuckin' sure about that?
Damn sure.
What happened over at Candyland?
Bunch of shootin'
master got shot.
Who shot 'em?
The German.
Why did he do that?
The nigger and the German was actin'
like they were slavers, but they weren't.
Well, what were they?
Bounty hunters.
Fuck me Roy, I mean this-
this could be big, mate!
Well, smoke
you gotta deal.
I got one more condition.
What is that?
When we get there
when the time come
you let me help you kill 'em.
You're a funny bugger!
Get him loose.
Yeah, yeah.
You got yourself a deal, blackie.
You got yourself a deal, mate.
You alright for a black fella!
Oh yeah!
Jeez
There ya go
There ya go, mate.
For you, we'll give you
that pack horse over here.
What's them saddle bags got in?
Dynamite.
I ain't ridin' no horse with no
goddamn dynamite on his back.
I can understand that.
Frankie, we take 'em sticks off that
horse, and stick 'em in the nigger cage.
A little dynamite for you
black ass to play with!
Hey Floyd, you got that rifle
on the wagon, don't you?
Yeah, alright.
Don't you give 'em
your gun and gun belt.
Now, don't drop the
fucking thing, alright?
I just had the sights fixed,
and that perfect.
Uh, that's good to know.
Throw me up that dynamite.
Jake!
Yeah?
You gotta try to see what's goin'on
with that goddamn dog!
Go to hell, you motherfucker!
Love you too, son.
It's me, baby.
In the sweet
byin' bye
we will leave
on that beautiful song.
Byin' bye bye bye
we will leave
we will leave byin' bye.
Cora,
would you prepare us some coffee?
Sheba, you help her.
Come on.
In the sweet
byin' bye, ooh
Ya'all gonna be together
with Calvin and the byin bye.
Just a bit sooner
than ya'all was expectin'.
Billy Crash!
Now why would?
Oh, that's right.
Last time I seen you,
you had your hands on my
Django!
You back, sonofabitch!
To dear son, hey Billy.
Oh no!
Now, all o'you black folks, I suggest
you get away from all these white folks.
Not you Steven.
You're right where you belong.
Uh, Cora, before you go
would you tell miss Lara goodbye?
Do- do what now?
I said tell miss Lara goodbye.
Bye miss Lara.
Ya'all two run along now.
Steve!
How you like my new dirt?
You know for an hour, I didn't know
the burgundy was my color.
I count six shots, nigger.
I count two guns, nigger.
You said in 76 years on this plantation,
you seen all o'manner shit done, ain'it?
But I noticed
you didn't knit your knee cap.
Seventy six years, Steven
how many niggers you think
you see come n' go, uh, 7000?
Ev'ry single word that came out of Calvin
Candy's mouth was nothin' but cold shit.
But he was right 'bout one thing.
I am that one nigger in ten thousand.
You sonofabitch!
You motherfucker!
Oh please Jesus, let me kill this nigger!
You ain't go get away with this, Django.
They go n' catch your black ass
You gonna be holdin' out
o'a pole just now, nigger,
the bounty hunters gonna
be looking for you.
You can run, nigger,
but they gonna find your ass!
And when they do, oh I love
what they gonna do to your ass.
They gonna just kill you, nigger!
You the fucked up!
This Candyland, nigger!
You can't destroy Candyland!
We been here long way,
you can't beat Candyland.
Can't no nigger gunfighter get
all the way from don't know where to
Django!
You up on a sonofab-
Hey Little Trouble Maker.
Hey Big Trouble Maker.
You know what they are going to call you?
The Fastest Gun in the South.
Let git outta here.