Evil Feed (2013) Movie Script
1
Ever since I
can remember
ever since
this baby spoke
I've been vying
for a stint
in the land of
mirrors and smoke
you know I love the
smell of whiskey
and I hate the
taste of gin
but I always
feel at home in a
place that
soaked in sin
but I want
to leave it
all behind
if I could
find me a man
to treat me right
but until then,
then, then
I'm gonna do, do, do
is just to hang
my head, head head
and cry boo hoo hoo
Agh, leg me out!
I thought I told
you two to clean up!
You know how many health
codes you are breaking?
Tut!
Tut tut tut!
Dad!
Dad!
There's some vietnamese guy
named phat here to see ya.
Uh, yes, uh, bring him in.
Yuki!
Dad, who is this guy?
Mind your business.
But this is the
family business!
No, this is my business.
Mister phat
phook to see you.
it's phuk.
Phat phuk.
Mister phuk, welcome!
Mm.
I'm so glad you
could make it.
So, this is it.
The world famous long pig.
Looks like a shithole.
Oh, but let me assure you.
It is a real gem.
Then why are you selling it?
Selling?
Dad, you can't sell this!
Fuck!
Why you not giving
it to your boy?
Because he is just that.
A boy!
So, I get everything.
The name, the recipes...
Everything.
Hm.
Uh, how about the
house special?
Oh.
The famous dickey roll?
Complimentary, of course.
Yuki!
I'm sorry, boss.
It was the last one.
And we were closed,
so I figured...
You figure nothing!
Dad!
A disgrace!
I am surrounded
by incompetence!
Yuki!
I have an idea.
Why don't I cut off her tits
and serve them to you on a
platter?
You can eat silicone?
Ha!
Yeah, you can eat...
Gah!
Get the hell out of my
restaurant before I make you
the house special!
welcome to the long pig.
yuki.
Mr. Tarasov.
Welcome back.
Look at you.
Even more beautiful
than I remember.
Mm?
Mm.
Ah!
How was your flight?
Eh, flight was flight.
Food was crap.
But, I am happy to be here.
Well you have nothing to
worry about, because the
food here is spectacular.
As you can see, we've
made some improvements,
mr. Tarasov.
These are the new tatami
rooms, offering our guests
comfort and privacy
while dining.
Very nice.
We currently have a
three month waiting list.
Just this way to
steven's office, please.
Mr. Tarasov,
here to see you.
Mr. Tarasosv!
Welcome back!
Well.
I'm loving what your father
has done with the place.
Actually, dad's retired.
I run the restaurant now.
Really?
I've never seen it so busy.
Oh, I know.
It's been hard work,
but I've created a
state-of-the-art
dining experience.
My innovative method of meat
tenderizing combined with my
riveting entertainment make
the long pig the newest rave
in dining.
I like to call it...
Tendertainment!
We import martial artists
to fight our in-house
gladiators, and then after
the fight, our guests get to
bid on any body part
they choose to dine on.
Hm.
Does that include
famous dickey roll?
Well, that dish is a
little time sensitive.
Preparation for that one is
an ancient chinese secret.
Ancient chinese secret, yes.
Yeah.
So, tell me.
Where is my old friend?
I want to congratulate him
on what a wonderful job his
son is doing.
Aha.
He's right over here.
What the fuck?
Hi dad!
An old friend is
here to see you!
I'm sorry.
It seems like retirement has
closed him off to the world.
Ahh, the next fight!
This local sensei
just joined us.
I hear he's a real
master of the art.
Allow my hostess to escort
you to your tatami room.
Mm.
Oh, and mr. Tarsaov,
please do stay for dessert.
I've prepared something
extra special for you.
Complimentary, of course.
Very nice.
not now, yuki?
Mmm.
All work and no play make
makes the cat go astray.
I said, not now.
Come on baby.
Hey!
I'm trying to
run a business.
It's a big night, okay?
I've got lots of
guests to attend to.
Okay, fine.
After the dinner rush.
You have a meeting with
the bookie tonight.
After!
I promise.
What does a girl have to
do to get laid around here?
Sheila!
Sheila!
What have you done
with my daughter?
I'm going to kill you?
You hear me?
I'm going to kill you all!
Dad, I'm here!
Dad! Behind you!
Cocktail while you wait?
You win.
It's over.
You win!
cut!
Jenna, you alright?
Yeah.
Yo, damn girl.
My bad.
I thought you was
going to duck.
You okay baby?
I can take a hit.
Nash...
You need to control
your kicks, asshole?
Hey, hey, hey, hey ,hey!
Chill out, chill
out, chill out!
It was an accident, man.
You'd better be more
careful next time.
Yeah, whatever hair.
Hey!
-What'd you say?
Huh?
Hey!
Thanks for your concern, ladies,
but I think we've got it.
Let's go cut this fight.
Yeah, she's right.
Let's get sensei's approval
and get thing uploaded, alright?
We'll edit out the part of
you kicking his daughter
in the face.
It was an accident, man.
Babe, can you tell your
girlfriend we want the footage?
Lay off, alright?
We were really on today.
This should get us
our million hits.
I have to go.
Look, nash is nash.
Don't let him get to you.
He's kind overprotective, but
he's got a really good heart.
He's an ass.
You're right, he's an ass,
but you're my best friend,
so can we squash
this please?
Alright. Squashed.
I do have to get going.
Midterms.
Well, we need you to edit
the promo piece to show my dad!
One hour.
That's all you get.
Dad?
Sheila?
Isn't there supposed
to be a class tonight?
Yeah, there should be.
Dad?
Sheila?
What the...
I'm going to call home,
can you try sheila?
Okay.
Hey sheila, it's pete.
We're at the dojo and
wondering where you are.
Could you please give
me or jenna a call?
Hey!
This must be the women's
self defense class.
Yo, where's everybody?
Dunno.
That's what we're
trying to figure out.
There's no answer.
I got a bad feeling.
Let's swing by the house.
I'll take you, honey.
Okay, call me if you
hear anything, okay?
I'm worried, nash.
Why don't we look at
that footage, man?
You guys go ahead.
Oho.
I got a better idea.
They're kind of tight.
Good, they should be.
Alright, the first thing
you need to know about being
tough is you just
gotta act it.
Be it.
Live it.
Brothers need to
know how to survive.
Out there, there's no rules.
Motherfuckers ready to cap
your ass, then say good morning.
Yo that's how it is in the
streets of the wild west.
Everybody packing,
out for themselves.
Survival of the
fittest, baby.
Bla!
Mm.
Mm!
I hope you saved
room for dessert.
Ooh.
Yuki!
A gift from us to you.
Very thoughtful, yuki.
Enjoy.
I will.
Well, look at you.
The bookie's here early.
You know what that means.
Bring him in.
Get in there!
Hello stevie.
How are ya?
You're early.
Care for a bite?
Are you kidding me?
I'd rather eat the ass
of a donkey, wouldn't I?
Now shall we get
down to business?
How was mister
karate master?
Well, baphomet made
quick work of him.
I'm very disappointed,
actually.
You were supposed to
bring me the young one!
Hang on.
I got you his master and
that young little tart.
Now, I figured that would
make for a pretty good
fight, you know?
Him being a master and all.
But nevermind that.
Let's move on because I
have found the guy you're
looking for.
A real stud.
His name is nash.
A fighting machine
with a perfect record.
11-0.
And bonus?
He too comes with
a sweet juicy tart.
Dad!
This doesn't make any sense.
Don't worry.
He probably went to
a movie or something.
They wouldn't have cancelled
the class for a movie.
They would've called.
They always call.
Hey, your dad is the
toughest guy I know.
I'm sure he's fine.
Well it still
doesn't feel right.
Mm, this feels right.
Nash.
Come on.
You're still my girl.
This is serious.
Don't.
- Stop!
No.
Yo!
Somebody oreder chinese?
Who's nash?
He ain't here.
Who's asking?
None of your business!
He my boy.
That makes it my
business, bitch.
Oh!
We got a tough guy here.
So so tough.
Just like chuck norris.
He not so tough now.
Hey, are you the guys that
took our sensei, you pussy?
Doggy lose his master?
Ha!
Where'd you take our sensei?
I take your sensei to the
same place I take you.
You, you, fat fuck, chinese
fuck, white, fuck, dicky
black, and black fuck.
We take you all!
Bring it on, hong kong!
Okay, jean claude
black-damme.
You bring it on.
Wa!
Let's dance, motherfucker!
Get them all!
I thought you chinese
were supposed...
Yeah!
What the fuck?
Get him!
Ming! Xing!
Go!
Go!
Go go! Get out of here!
Go! Now!
Motherfucker!
Go!
Pete! Pete!
Fuck you!
Hey, come on, I like that.
Fuck you, fuck
you extra sp...
Huh?
Yeah.
What up now, punk?
Where are they taking him?
Agh!
You better start talking.
Last chance.
I said fuck y...
Fucking bullshit!
Hey, is this some
kind of fight club?
Alright!
Actually, steven sir, I'd
like to chat with you about
a business proposition
that I think you might be
interested in.
What is it?
There's someone in town
that would like to meet you.
A crimelord from the
britons named dragonfly.
And why would I want
to meet a dragonfly?
Apparently, he owns a
restaurant that serves the
same kind of stuff.
Interesting.
I thought we were exclusive.
Tell me more.
They say that when he was
young, his parents tried to
commit him.
Now naturally, he didn't
take a liking to that idea,
so he proceeded to kill
them and eat them in a week.
Sounds like my kind of guy.
If that's your thing.
Shit!
Not looking so good for you.
Maybe your guys were a little
too rough bringing him in.
The doctor's here.
Good.
Tell him his patient's
almost ready.
Who's this doctor?
Well, I like to think of him
as alternative programming.
Ah, always thinking
of new ideas, eh boss?
Don't call me boss.
Now are you done
crawling up my ass?
Yes boss...
Sir.
Just leave, please.
Of course b...
Should I set up the
dinner with the dragonfly?
Very well.
Now?
Later.
what the fuck?
Maybe we should
call the cops?
Yeah, a nigger, a spic, with
a chink tied up in the back
of a van.
I'll dial.
Who calls cops anyways, man?
The fuck we really gonna do?
I got an idea.
When I see the
standard in our eyes
and we've been digging
it out from the start of our
lives
well I try to hold back
the feelings that I know
I take another deep
breath as I wait my turn to go
and all the time through
my heart, the parade's within
our minds
it's such a real that's
not shakes all mankind
so we apologize to this
world for coming to
and all the aches and
breaks and shakes are promises
into
so the cold black that
seems just what I'd do
is a crooked map
that leads me to...
who's there?
Sheila!
Oh my god!
What did they do to you?
No!
Okay, so what now.
We just waltz in there and
start busting some heads?
Brian, you go
through the front.
By myself?
Triad said it
was a restaurant.
You never had a problem
getting in a restaurant.
Oh my god, are you making
fun of my weight dude?
I'm just saying,
you find a way in.
What if the password
doesn't work?
Then you come back to the
van and we give our friend
here some more
shock therapy.
Shut up.
What are you
two going to do?
Sneak through the back
and bust some heads.
Wow bruce leroy,
that's a real plan.
You got a better
idea taco bell?
'Cause I'm listening.
Yo, you trying to say that
'cause I'm spanish dog?
Cause if you are that's some
real racist shit dog, and
I'm not feeling that shit.
Okay, enough. Look.
I will take the front just
to get away from you two.
Cool, let's do it.
Wait, wait.
Look.
If shit goes down in there,
I want you two to know that
I'll be the first booking
it out of there, okay?
I am not going to die
a virgin, alright?
I'm just not going to do it.
Hey lao!
You lost, boy?
No, I'm, I'm
here for dinner.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
I heard this is the best
restaurant in town and...
As you can see
I love to eat.
Who told you this
was a restaurant.
It's word on the street man.
You know?
No, I don't know.
Oh fuck, come on dude!
Password.
You are what you eat.
Why didn't you say so
in the first place.
Ho ho.
You never asked.
this place is pretty pimp.
Woah!
Welcome to the long pig.
What name is your
reservation under?
Uh...
Alphonso!
Hey man!
Eh, it's not alphonso.
Your name?
Taka... mura?
Hiro takamura?
Hai!
This way.
Teriyaki!
this place is
locked down, dude.
Yeah, but it's a restaurant.
Somebody's gotta come out
and throw away the trash or
have a cigarette or
something, right?
Is that where dad is?
Sheila, do you
know where dad is?
Pete?
Hi sugar tits!
What the fuck?
Don't you touch her!
Hmm.
Don't worry honey.
You'll feel better soon.
Please, just take me.
Leave her alone.
Oh, I'm sorry sweetheart,
but your sister has an
appointment with the doctor.
You psycho bitch!
Be patient.
You'll get your turn.
W-where... where's my dad?
Oh, your dad.
He's right here.
Ugh!
Looks like your
boyfriend's doing well.
Nash...
I can't wait to taste him.
Mm.
I think I'll have you with
a green papaya, sweet bell
pepper, in a coconut
sautee sauce.
Mm!
Delish!
Sheila!
My hand!
This dude just shit
on me, you pussy. Let's go!
Is this your
first time here?
No.
This is my favorite place.
Would you like to place
a bid on the next round?
A bid? Uh, no, no.
I uh... I'm not much of a
gambler, no.
Okay, what will it be.
Yeah, I'll have...
What, whatever the
house special is.
I'll have the house special.
My favorite dish.
Great choice.
Thank you.
Nash!
Jenna?
Pete!
What happened?
It's okay.
Yo, what place are we
hitting right now dog?
Am I seeing what I think
I'm seeing right now?
Now I'm going to kill
these motherfuckers man.
Remember what sensei
taught us, alright?
A true warrior is a
master of his emotions. Alright?
Just chill the fuck
out and remember that.
You're gonna get your
revenge, alright black norris?
Come on.
What you...
Fuck.
What are you doing, dog?
You buggin'?
They may have taken his life,
but they'll never take his
honor.
Come on, man.
Shit.
Do you need something?
No, I was just, just um...
Your dinner is ready.
Please sit.
Oh, great.
Our famous house
special, the dickey roll.
This is great, thanks.
Enjoy.
Okay.
Huh, smells good.
Mmm.
I think I've
had this before.
Oh, it's pretty good.
Really good.
You know, I'd finish you off
if I were hungrier, but I
have people counting
on me, so...
I'm gonna get me some answers.
Yo dog, you're gonna
get yourself on camera.
Sooner or later,
shit's going down.
Might as well be sooner.
Watch my back.
I got you.
Where's the
sensei's daughter?
Hey talk to me motherfucker,
or it's big trouble in
little china.
Tyrone!
Ain't that a butthole.
Oh!
Oh, bitch!
Who are these crazy people?
What do they want from us?
I don't know, but if we
don't get out of here,
they're going to kill us.
Jenna, I'm really
sorry about your dad.
When I was a little girl,
after my mom died, I...
I had trouble
sleeping at night.
So my dad got me this...
This crystal ball of the
solar system that lit up
when I shook it.
And he told me if I was ever
scared, that I could just
find her in the stars.
And...
No matter where I went,
she was watching over me.
I hope they're together now.
Aw, isn't that sweet.
What do you guys
want from us?
Shut up, little man.
Okay, sweetheart.
It's time for dinner.
And don't make this
harder than it has to be.
Don't you fucking
touch her, you slut.
Slut?
There's no need
for namecalling.
Oh!
Okay, take her.
No, please.
Take me.
Why would I do that?
There's barely any
meat on your bones.
Oh, fuck you slut.
What was that?
I said fuck you, slut!
I guess chivalry
is not dead.
Take him.
Pete!
Ahh!
Your hair is so soft!
What kind of
conditioner do you use?
baddest motherfucker
that the world's ever seen
on the day I was born,
the devil told me that I'd be
the baddest ever born
mister dragonfly!
Welcome, it's a pleasure
to finally meet you.
Even hotter I would
get like a human cigarette,
burning everything I met
I let the devil
tell me something
he told me "never sell
out, move the crowd and keep 'em
bumpin"
the rhyme was cold as
could be, I must've learned
a little something cause
he sold his soul to me
madame dragonfly.
Madam dragonfly?
Thank you charles, but
I'll be dining alone this
evening.
Holy shit, you're a woman.
A beautiful woman!
Ugh!
I didn't hire you to
insult me, monsieur.
I just thought...
Don't think.
Just do.
Get me that recipe.
Yes ma'am.
I mean, madam.
Now go.
who's bad?
Now you know why there are
lesbians.
Hello, uh, steven.
Excuse me, steven.
What is it?
Um, remember that client I was
telling you about from london?
The dragonfly?
It turns out the dragonfly,
um, is actually madam dragonfly.
Are you telling me that
you haven't even met this
person, and you bring
her into my restaurant?
What if she's a cop?
She's not.
No, I swear.
I swear she's not.
Honest. Look, look, listen,
listen.
The dragonfly has a
reputation, and I would
imagine that she keeps her
gender under wraps, so that
she can, you know,
intimidate people.
One more mistake like this
and baphomet will have you
for lunch.
Doesn't she know
that fur's dead?
She's not very bright.
Nah, she...
What are you
still doing here?
Right.
Of course.
Would it kill you
to take a shower?
Madam dragonfly.
It's a pleasure to
make your acquaintance.
Your reputation
precedes you.
The pleasure is all mine, as
I've heard much about you as
well, darling.
Isn't your hostess
going to take my coat?
I didn't come here to make
company with the help.
Of course you didn't.
Please, come.
Sit.
We have much to talk about.
Come on...
Where are you?
holy shit!
Oh, I'm sorry boss, I...
Was just wondering if you
happened to know where the
recipe for...
Oh!
Holy, what the fuck?
Jesus christ, you scared
the shit out of me.
I'm sorry dude,
I was just uh...
Just wondering where
the washroom is.
Right around the
corner, second door.
The... oh.
Honestly!
Now, where are you...
Come on.
If I'm steven, where
would I hide you?
I recently had many
clientele come through my
establishment speaking
of the long pig.
Tell me, why did you
really come here?
I heard you killed your
father to take over the
restaurant.
And who would've
told you that?
Don't worry.
Your secret's safe with me.
You and I have
a lot in common.
Tell me about
your restaurant.
It's a quaint little setup.
Fine dining, to
say the least.
Nestled safely in
the heart of london.
Right in the city.
Hm.
What do you serve?
Our specialty is
nipple tartare.
You really should
come and have a taste.
I'd love to.
Steven?
Yuki.
We're discussing business.
I thought you
might be thirsty.
Parched.
Please, excuse yuki.
Good help is so hard
to find these days.
Seems like she could use
some lessons in etiquette.
hello phatty.
That's with a p-h, right?
Thought so.
I speak asian.
Anyway, I was wondering
if you were, by chance,
preparing a dickey
roll any time soon?
Why?
Well, I'd like to
sample one, wouldn't I?
Find out what makes
it so special?
No white guy in my kitchen.
Right, understood.
Respect that.
Mhmm.
Sure.
I'll just order one
for later, shall I?
Kanpai.
So, tell me.
What's the television for.
Ah, I want all my customers
to be satisfied at the long
pig, so in addition to fine
dining, I offer many forms
of entertainment.
Professional fights,
gambling, sexual pleasures.
Really?
Yes.
Sexual pleasures?
Oh yes.
And here is our
latest programming.
The doctor's office,
where you get an in-depth
understanding of
the human anatomy.
For the more
intellectual types.
And what about the sex?
Ah, the dessert specials.
And what if I prefer my
dessert before dinner?
holy wow!
I'm sorry, did I scare you?
Uh, no no.
I...
Let me help you with that.
Oh!
Oh, you're so tense!
Your hands are so soft?
Yeah?
Relax.
You need to release
that tension.
I can make it all go away.
Y-you can?
Mhmm.
My specialty is full body
massage with hot oils.
Oh, I like massages.
I love massages.
Oh, mhmm.
Awesome!
Beggars can't be choosers.
To be honest, I'd put my
dickey roll up against your
nipple tartare any day.
And what makes your
dickey so special?
Well, the recipe's been in
my family for generations.
Mm, I can't wait
to taste it.
Tell me, how is it prepared?
You think my family's gotten
to where we are by us giving
our secrets away
to strangers?
Ohh, I thought
we were friends.
I'll give you a taste.
The marinating room where
the house special is
prepared.
Fascinating.
Yeah, what can I say?
Timing is everything.
It looks like your hostess
is about to prepare one.
Slut!
You deserve better.
My underwear has more
taste than she does.
She doesn't understand
you like I do.
Snack time.
Shit!
I guess I'll have
to stay for supper.
Look at you.
Juicy...
Who are you?
Easy love, easy.
I was kidnapped too.
Honest!
I, I just my escaped my
cell, and I was checking for
any others.
They killed my dad and
they have my sister.
I have to find her!
Yes, right.
It's alright. Relax!
Why is this locked?
We'll find her.
I promise.
Ahh!
Supper time!
Get the fuck off me!
Get the fuck off me!
Oh, easy love!
I'm craving some american
pie, and this time you will
be sharing.
Oh...
Really love,
don't get nasty.
Oh, look at your lips.
But I'm more interested in
licking your other lips.
Lick your own lips, asshole.
Ugh, you fucking bitch!
My face!
My fucking face!
You bitch!
I'll hurt you!
I will!
You...
Yo, let us the
fuck out of here!
You're good.
two on one.
I pity the fool.
Alright mr. T.
Let's switch this bitch off.
Ow, fucking rock jaw.
That's how I roll!
Ahh, fuck!
Ow!
Tyrone, man!
My fucking leg man!
Carlos!
Okay.
Are you ready?
Holy ugh!
Oh, wow.
Ugh.
That feels so good.
Hm, you like that?
Yeah.
Wait til you
see what's next?
Woah, what?
Hmm, now turn over.
Uh, I...
I can't.
I, see...
I'm hard.
You made me hard.
Yeah.
That is the point.
Now roll over.
Okay.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Oh my.
Sorry.
Don't be.
Go easy.
It's my first time.
Oh!
I apologize, but
I've got to go.
Close your eyes and enjoy.
No, I've got to...
Woah ho ho ho, okay, I don't
know if this is such a...
Oh!
Oh!
You're really good at that.
The guys are never
going to believe this.
Oh yeah, oh!
You're so beautiful.
Yeah, you like that?
Oh yes.
Oh, oh...
Oh...
Oh.
You're not like your
friends are you.
What... do... you... mean?
They died fighting.
With balls.
You bitch!
Ah, beautiful.
Aw, ow!
The fuck?
You bitch.
With a little refinement,
you could make me a happy woman.
I'm gonna wipe that
smile from your face.
Who's smiling
now, motherfucker?
What was that for, woman?
Tyrone!
They got carlos.
I know. I saw it all.
They killed nash
and they have pete!
What? You saw pete?
Yes, and sheila too.
They took them away.
You take it.
He would've wanted
you to have it.
Let's add some
more stripes to it.
Looks like you've
already started.
What now?
We wait.
For what?
Brian.
He's our ticket out of here.
Care for the house
special, bitch?
I don't eat sushi, dear.
Keep the coat.
I enjoy donating to
the underprivileged.
Now move.
You should be ashamed of
yourself, wearing the fur of
a defenseless animal.
Speaking of defenseless,
your boyfriend didn't give
up much of a fight.
You're so naive.
And stupid, giving
away the family recipe.
Thank you.
Stephen already gave
me his house special.
Attached.
It's time for you to die!
Sheila!
Sheila, what did
they do to you?
Time to go.
We've gotta go now.
Now!
This way.
Ah!
Like you're the first
one to try that.
It's okay. It's okay.
Go to sleep big guy.
Go to sleep.
Okay.
Bah!
Come on.
Hi honey.
Sorry about the mess.
Madame and I were playing,
and it got a little out of hand.
The good news is your
family secret's safe.
You fucked him.
Yes, but...
I forgive you.
You did good.
I love you.
And I would have
loved you too.
If you didn't fall
apart so easily.
Jenna!
Wait here.
I'll signal you if I
need a hand, alright?
Go ahead.
Make my dinner.
Ahh!
That should hold
it for a while.
Here, here.
Come on.
Let's get out of here.
Look at my hand!
No, come on, get out!
Where's my hand, woah,
not without my hand!
My hand! Fuck!
Waa!
Now where's your fat
friend now, fucker?
Ahh!
Yes, I rock!
I'm gonna fuck you up with
one hand behind my back.
Let's do it!
Good morning sunshine!
Julie run!
Julie run!
Where you going?
I, I can change!
I love you!
Where you going?
Nice butt, where you from?
I want to show you my sp...
Spring roll!
Hoh!
Brian!
Ugh...
Hey fuckboy,
who's fucked now?
Revenge is a bitch,
motherfucker.
Ahh!
Revenge is a
bitch named jenna.
My hand.
Give my hand back.
Give my hand back.
Give...
Come on.
I had such big dreams for
this place until you and
your friends
ruined everything.
But maybe I could
start all over.
You know, remodel.
Get a new suit.
Maybe a new menu.
Maybe an all female menu.
Yeah, dad would like that.
Dad would be proud.
Dad.
You know my father used to
say I was a disgrace to the
family because I
never ate human flesh.
I just never had
an appetite for it.
Until now.
I've been missing
out, all these years!
Stop!
What?
Pete!
Get off of her.
Jenna...
Just in time for the
main course, huh?
It's over.
Let us go.
Wait, let me
think about that.
No.
We're walking out of here,
and there's nothing you can
do about it.
That's what you think.
I said, it's over!
Come on pete,
let's kick his ass.
Yeah, come on petey.
Come kick my ass.
Come on!
Jenna, no!
Oh, come on.
We can take him together.
Yeah, come on
double team me.
Come on, now's
our chance.
Come on.
Let her go!
So sorry, but your friends
fucked up my establishment.
You're crazy.
I'm crazy?
I could end her right now.
Or you can come
and save her.
Don't you fucking hurt her.
What are you waiting for?
Help me.
Yeah, help her petey.
S-shut up!
Now's your chance.
You could be the real hero!
Stop it.
Come on man, what
are you waiting for?
Don't you love her?
Don't you want to
have her babies?
Shut up, shut up, shut
up, shut up, shut up!
You never listen to me!
Uh oh!
Pete?
Don't listen to him.
You know him?
No.
N...
I thought I was your friend.
Oh, shit.
There's that f word again.
Every guy hates that word.
Don't you know that I think
he wanted a little more, jenna.
Unh.
He's messing with your head.
Really?
Really? Because when I first
heard that petey here told my
bookie about a young martial
artist, I thought he was
doing me a favor, but my
little bro was just looking
out for himself, and wanted
your boyfriend out of the way.
No.
We didn't know that you
would get so involved, though.
But shit happens,
right brother?
How could you?
What, am I gonna have to wipe
your ass for the rest of my
life?
Get ready to spend a lot of
time in the office with dad.
Christ!
Back the fuck up, fool.
Good to see you, bro.
Is she alright?
What, you've come to
give petey a hand?
Pete, you know this dude?
He's the one
responsible for this.
Shoot him!
You're the one that killed
sensei and my boys, huh?
Maybe.
Agh!
Jenna!
Sheila!
Sheila!
Sheila!
Oh brother, I've gotta say,
this is like your best work yet!
Okay, would somebody tell me
what the fuck is going on?
Paging dr. Pete,
paging dr. Pete!
Start talking, now.
Come on, man.
It's me.
What, you're going to
listen to this psycho?
I'm your friend!
Now I'm the psycho?
When this kid was eight,
he took a gerbil and and he
shoved it...
Why?
You put eels inside sheila?
Huh?
I'm gonna end you!
Stop!
He's mine.
You're fucked now.
I love you.
I...
I did this f...
For who?
You killed my dad and
skinned nash alive for who?
You tortured and killed
my sister for who?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
You don't get to apologize!
He's done!
He's gone.
Let's get out of here before
someone else comes out of
the shadows.
Will you hold my hand?
Thank you.
Ain't that what
a brother for?
I'm evil
there's nobody to save
you when your lights go out
I'm evil
and can't nobody hear
you scream when you're trapped
in my house
I'm evil, evil, evil
I'm evil
yeah
they say food for
thought or use your thoughts for
food
if you are what you eat,
then I'mma soon be you
if dude can scrap, I'm
setting up the booby trap
or get my girl to set
you up, where's yuki at
somebody got to die
in order for us to dine
I watching my live
flatscreen, primetime
but wait, but wait,
welcome to the long pig
this is your fate and
you ain't got long kid
get on the plate baby
cakes 'cause you look delicious
some call it vicious,
but I call it business
fat fucks get chopped
up and sauteed
slapped up and
kidnapped in broad day
you can fight for
your life in the pit
but at the height of
the night there's a price on
you, bitch
from boxing to kung fu
you come with jiu jitsu
no matter where you run,
I'm gonna get you, cause
I'm evil
there's nobody to save
you when your lights go out
I'm evil
can't nobody hear you
scream when you trapped in my
house
I'm evil, evil, evil
I'm evil
yeah
welcome back, can
I take your order
the menu resembles
an all-out slaughter
fatty got a dickey
roll, ready to serve
skinny give you a hand
if you say the right words
yeah, an
international feast
people travel the world
just to come and get a piece
from elbows to thighs,
neck bones to eyes
wait til you get desert,
then you're really surprised
round here, you gotta
fight to survive
there's money on which
one of you dies, and one of you
dies
ain't nothing funny
'bout the hunger inside
and I don't hear
when none of you cry
plus, I got
customers waiting
and some of them are
getting impatient
get a look at the stuff
that I cook in the basement
I wonder if they know
what I be making, cause
I'm evil
there's nobody to save
you when your lights go out
I'm evil
can't nobody hear you
scream when you trapped in my
house
I'm evil, evil, evil
I'm evil
I'm evil
there's nobody to save you
when your lights go out
I'm evil
can't nobody hear you
scream when you trapped in my
house
I'm evil, evil, evil
I'm evil
I'll have that
dickey roll now.
Ever since I
can remember
ever since
this baby spoke
I've been vying
for a stint
in the land of
mirrors and smoke
you know I love the
smell of whiskey
and I hate the
taste of gin
but I always
feel at home in a
place that
soaked in sin
but I want
to leave it
all behind
if I could
find me a man
to treat me right
but until then,
then, then
I'm gonna do, do, do
is just to hang
my head, head head
and cry boo hoo hoo
Agh, leg me out!
I thought I told
you two to clean up!
You know how many health
codes you are breaking?
Tut!
Tut tut tut!
Dad!
Dad!
There's some vietnamese guy
named phat here to see ya.
Uh, yes, uh, bring him in.
Yuki!
Dad, who is this guy?
Mind your business.
But this is the
family business!
No, this is my business.
Mister phat
phook to see you.
it's phuk.
Phat phuk.
Mister phuk, welcome!
Mm.
I'm so glad you
could make it.
So, this is it.
The world famous long pig.
Looks like a shithole.
Oh, but let me assure you.
It is a real gem.
Then why are you selling it?
Selling?
Dad, you can't sell this!
Fuck!
Why you not giving
it to your boy?
Because he is just that.
A boy!
So, I get everything.
The name, the recipes...
Everything.
Hm.
Uh, how about the
house special?
Oh.
The famous dickey roll?
Complimentary, of course.
Yuki!
I'm sorry, boss.
It was the last one.
And we were closed,
so I figured...
You figure nothing!
Dad!
A disgrace!
I am surrounded
by incompetence!
Yuki!
I have an idea.
Why don't I cut off her tits
and serve them to you on a
platter?
You can eat silicone?
Ha!
Yeah, you can eat...
Gah!
Get the hell out of my
restaurant before I make you
the house special!
welcome to the long pig.
yuki.
Mr. Tarasov.
Welcome back.
Look at you.
Even more beautiful
than I remember.
Mm?
Mm.
Ah!
How was your flight?
Eh, flight was flight.
Food was crap.
But, I am happy to be here.
Well you have nothing to
worry about, because the
food here is spectacular.
As you can see, we've
made some improvements,
mr. Tarasov.
These are the new tatami
rooms, offering our guests
comfort and privacy
while dining.
Very nice.
We currently have a
three month waiting list.
Just this way to
steven's office, please.
Mr. Tarasov,
here to see you.
Mr. Tarasosv!
Welcome back!
Well.
I'm loving what your father
has done with the place.
Actually, dad's retired.
I run the restaurant now.
Really?
I've never seen it so busy.
Oh, I know.
It's been hard work,
but I've created a
state-of-the-art
dining experience.
My innovative method of meat
tenderizing combined with my
riveting entertainment make
the long pig the newest rave
in dining.
I like to call it...
Tendertainment!
We import martial artists
to fight our in-house
gladiators, and then after
the fight, our guests get to
bid on any body part
they choose to dine on.
Hm.
Does that include
famous dickey roll?
Well, that dish is a
little time sensitive.
Preparation for that one is
an ancient chinese secret.
Ancient chinese secret, yes.
Yeah.
So, tell me.
Where is my old friend?
I want to congratulate him
on what a wonderful job his
son is doing.
Aha.
He's right over here.
What the fuck?
Hi dad!
An old friend is
here to see you!
I'm sorry.
It seems like retirement has
closed him off to the world.
Ahh, the next fight!
This local sensei
just joined us.
I hear he's a real
master of the art.
Allow my hostess to escort
you to your tatami room.
Mm.
Oh, and mr. Tarsaov,
please do stay for dessert.
I've prepared something
extra special for you.
Complimentary, of course.
Very nice.
not now, yuki?
Mmm.
All work and no play make
makes the cat go astray.
I said, not now.
Come on baby.
Hey!
I'm trying to
run a business.
It's a big night, okay?
I've got lots of
guests to attend to.
Okay, fine.
After the dinner rush.
You have a meeting with
the bookie tonight.
After!
I promise.
What does a girl have to
do to get laid around here?
Sheila!
Sheila!
What have you done
with my daughter?
I'm going to kill you?
You hear me?
I'm going to kill you all!
Dad, I'm here!
Dad! Behind you!
Cocktail while you wait?
You win.
It's over.
You win!
cut!
Jenna, you alright?
Yeah.
Yo, damn girl.
My bad.
I thought you was
going to duck.
You okay baby?
I can take a hit.
Nash...
You need to control
your kicks, asshole?
Hey, hey, hey, hey ,hey!
Chill out, chill
out, chill out!
It was an accident, man.
You'd better be more
careful next time.
Yeah, whatever hair.
Hey!
-What'd you say?
Huh?
Hey!
Thanks for your concern, ladies,
but I think we've got it.
Let's go cut this fight.
Yeah, she's right.
Let's get sensei's approval
and get thing uploaded, alright?
We'll edit out the part of
you kicking his daughter
in the face.
It was an accident, man.
Babe, can you tell your
girlfriend we want the footage?
Lay off, alright?
We were really on today.
This should get us
our million hits.
I have to go.
Look, nash is nash.
Don't let him get to you.
He's kind overprotective, but
he's got a really good heart.
He's an ass.
You're right, he's an ass,
but you're my best friend,
so can we squash
this please?
Alright. Squashed.
I do have to get going.
Midterms.
Well, we need you to edit
the promo piece to show my dad!
One hour.
That's all you get.
Dad?
Sheila?
Isn't there supposed
to be a class tonight?
Yeah, there should be.
Dad?
Sheila?
What the...
I'm going to call home,
can you try sheila?
Okay.
Hey sheila, it's pete.
We're at the dojo and
wondering where you are.
Could you please give
me or jenna a call?
Hey!
This must be the women's
self defense class.
Yo, where's everybody?
Dunno.
That's what we're
trying to figure out.
There's no answer.
I got a bad feeling.
Let's swing by the house.
I'll take you, honey.
Okay, call me if you
hear anything, okay?
I'm worried, nash.
Why don't we look at
that footage, man?
You guys go ahead.
Oho.
I got a better idea.
They're kind of tight.
Good, they should be.
Alright, the first thing
you need to know about being
tough is you just
gotta act it.
Be it.
Live it.
Brothers need to
know how to survive.
Out there, there's no rules.
Motherfuckers ready to cap
your ass, then say good morning.
Yo that's how it is in the
streets of the wild west.
Everybody packing,
out for themselves.
Survival of the
fittest, baby.
Bla!
Mm.
Mm!
I hope you saved
room for dessert.
Ooh.
Yuki!
A gift from us to you.
Very thoughtful, yuki.
Enjoy.
I will.
Well, look at you.
The bookie's here early.
You know what that means.
Bring him in.
Get in there!
Hello stevie.
How are ya?
You're early.
Care for a bite?
Are you kidding me?
I'd rather eat the ass
of a donkey, wouldn't I?
Now shall we get
down to business?
How was mister
karate master?
Well, baphomet made
quick work of him.
I'm very disappointed,
actually.
You were supposed to
bring me the young one!
Hang on.
I got you his master and
that young little tart.
Now, I figured that would
make for a pretty good
fight, you know?
Him being a master and all.
But nevermind that.
Let's move on because I
have found the guy you're
looking for.
A real stud.
His name is nash.
A fighting machine
with a perfect record.
11-0.
And bonus?
He too comes with
a sweet juicy tart.
Dad!
This doesn't make any sense.
Don't worry.
He probably went to
a movie or something.
They wouldn't have cancelled
the class for a movie.
They would've called.
They always call.
Hey, your dad is the
toughest guy I know.
I'm sure he's fine.
Well it still
doesn't feel right.
Mm, this feels right.
Nash.
Come on.
You're still my girl.
This is serious.
Don't.
- Stop!
No.
Yo!
Somebody oreder chinese?
Who's nash?
He ain't here.
Who's asking?
None of your business!
He my boy.
That makes it my
business, bitch.
Oh!
We got a tough guy here.
So so tough.
Just like chuck norris.
He not so tough now.
Hey, are you the guys that
took our sensei, you pussy?
Doggy lose his master?
Ha!
Where'd you take our sensei?
I take your sensei to the
same place I take you.
You, you, fat fuck, chinese
fuck, white, fuck, dicky
black, and black fuck.
We take you all!
Bring it on, hong kong!
Okay, jean claude
black-damme.
You bring it on.
Wa!
Let's dance, motherfucker!
Get them all!
I thought you chinese
were supposed...
Yeah!
What the fuck?
Get him!
Ming! Xing!
Go!
Go!
Go go! Get out of here!
Go! Now!
Motherfucker!
Go!
Pete! Pete!
Fuck you!
Hey, come on, I like that.
Fuck you, fuck
you extra sp...
Huh?
Yeah.
What up now, punk?
Where are they taking him?
Agh!
You better start talking.
Last chance.
I said fuck y...
Fucking bullshit!
Hey, is this some
kind of fight club?
Alright!
Actually, steven sir, I'd
like to chat with you about
a business proposition
that I think you might be
interested in.
What is it?
There's someone in town
that would like to meet you.
A crimelord from the
britons named dragonfly.
And why would I want
to meet a dragonfly?
Apparently, he owns a
restaurant that serves the
same kind of stuff.
Interesting.
I thought we were exclusive.
Tell me more.
They say that when he was
young, his parents tried to
commit him.
Now naturally, he didn't
take a liking to that idea,
so he proceeded to kill
them and eat them in a week.
Sounds like my kind of guy.
If that's your thing.
Shit!
Not looking so good for you.
Maybe your guys were a little
too rough bringing him in.
The doctor's here.
Good.
Tell him his patient's
almost ready.
Who's this doctor?
Well, I like to think of him
as alternative programming.
Ah, always thinking
of new ideas, eh boss?
Don't call me boss.
Now are you done
crawling up my ass?
Yes boss...
Sir.
Just leave, please.
Of course b...
Should I set up the
dinner with the dragonfly?
Very well.
Now?
Later.
what the fuck?
Maybe we should
call the cops?
Yeah, a nigger, a spic, with
a chink tied up in the back
of a van.
I'll dial.
Who calls cops anyways, man?
The fuck we really gonna do?
I got an idea.
When I see the
standard in our eyes
and we've been digging
it out from the start of our
lives
well I try to hold back
the feelings that I know
I take another deep
breath as I wait my turn to go
and all the time through
my heart, the parade's within
our minds
it's such a real that's
not shakes all mankind
so we apologize to this
world for coming to
and all the aches and
breaks and shakes are promises
into
so the cold black that
seems just what I'd do
is a crooked map
that leads me to...
who's there?
Sheila!
Oh my god!
What did they do to you?
No!
Okay, so what now.
We just waltz in there and
start busting some heads?
Brian, you go
through the front.
By myself?
Triad said it
was a restaurant.
You never had a problem
getting in a restaurant.
Oh my god, are you making
fun of my weight dude?
I'm just saying,
you find a way in.
What if the password
doesn't work?
Then you come back to the
van and we give our friend
here some more
shock therapy.
Shut up.
What are you
two going to do?
Sneak through the back
and bust some heads.
Wow bruce leroy,
that's a real plan.
You got a better
idea taco bell?
'Cause I'm listening.
Yo, you trying to say that
'cause I'm spanish dog?
Cause if you are that's some
real racist shit dog, and
I'm not feeling that shit.
Okay, enough. Look.
I will take the front just
to get away from you two.
Cool, let's do it.
Wait, wait.
Look.
If shit goes down in there,
I want you two to know that
I'll be the first booking
it out of there, okay?
I am not going to die
a virgin, alright?
I'm just not going to do it.
Hey lao!
You lost, boy?
No, I'm, I'm
here for dinner.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
I heard this is the best
restaurant in town and...
As you can see
I love to eat.
Who told you this
was a restaurant.
It's word on the street man.
You know?
No, I don't know.
Oh fuck, come on dude!
Password.
You are what you eat.
Why didn't you say so
in the first place.
Ho ho.
You never asked.
this place is pretty pimp.
Woah!
Welcome to the long pig.
What name is your
reservation under?
Uh...
Alphonso!
Hey man!
Eh, it's not alphonso.
Your name?
Taka... mura?
Hiro takamura?
Hai!
This way.
Teriyaki!
this place is
locked down, dude.
Yeah, but it's a restaurant.
Somebody's gotta come out
and throw away the trash or
have a cigarette or
something, right?
Is that where dad is?
Sheila, do you
know where dad is?
Pete?
Hi sugar tits!
What the fuck?
Don't you touch her!
Hmm.
Don't worry honey.
You'll feel better soon.
Please, just take me.
Leave her alone.
Oh, I'm sorry sweetheart,
but your sister has an
appointment with the doctor.
You psycho bitch!
Be patient.
You'll get your turn.
W-where... where's my dad?
Oh, your dad.
He's right here.
Ugh!
Looks like your
boyfriend's doing well.
Nash...
I can't wait to taste him.
Mm.
I think I'll have you with
a green papaya, sweet bell
pepper, in a coconut
sautee sauce.
Mm!
Delish!
Sheila!
My hand!
This dude just shit
on me, you pussy. Let's go!
Is this your
first time here?
No.
This is my favorite place.
Would you like to place
a bid on the next round?
A bid? Uh, no, no.
I uh... I'm not much of a
gambler, no.
Okay, what will it be.
Yeah, I'll have...
What, whatever the
house special is.
I'll have the house special.
My favorite dish.
Great choice.
Thank you.
Nash!
Jenna?
Pete!
What happened?
It's okay.
Yo, what place are we
hitting right now dog?
Am I seeing what I think
I'm seeing right now?
Now I'm going to kill
these motherfuckers man.
Remember what sensei
taught us, alright?
A true warrior is a
master of his emotions. Alright?
Just chill the fuck
out and remember that.
You're gonna get your
revenge, alright black norris?
Come on.
What you...
Fuck.
What are you doing, dog?
You buggin'?
They may have taken his life,
but they'll never take his
honor.
Come on, man.
Shit.
Do you need something?
No, I was just, just um...
Your dinner is ready.
Please sit.
Oh, great.
Our famous house
special, the dickey roll.
This is great, thanks.
Enjoy.
Okay.
Huh, smells good.
Mmm.
I think I've
had this before.
Oh, it's pretty good.
Really good.
You know, I'd finish you off
if I were hungrier, but I
have people counting
on me, so...
I'm gonna get me some answers.
Yo dog, you're gonna
get yourself on camera.
Sooner or later,
shit's going down.
Might as well be sooner.
Watch my back.
I got you.
Where's the
sensei's daughter?
Hey talk to me motherfucker,
or it's big trouble in
little china.
Tyrone!
Ain't that a butthole.
Oh!
Oh, bitch!
Who are these crazy people?
What do they want from us?
I don't know, but if we
don't get out of here,
they're going to kill us.
Jenna, I'm really
sorry about your dad.
When I was a little girl,
after my mom died, I...
I had trouble
sleeping at night.
So my dad got me this...
This crystal ball of the
solar system that lit up
when I shook it.
And he told me if I was ever
scared, that I could just
find her in the stars.
And...
No matter where I went,
she was watching over me.
I hope they're together now.
Aw, isn't that sweet.
What do you guys
want from us?
Shut up, little man.
Okay, sweetheart.
It's time for dinner.
And don't make this
harder than it has to be.
Don't you fucking
touch her, you slut.
Slut?
There's no need
for namecalling.
Oh!
Okay, take her.
No, please.
Take me.
Why would I do that?
There's barely any
meat on your bones.
Oh, fuck you slut.
What was that?
I said fuck you, slut!
I guess chivalry
is not dead.
Take him.
Pete!
Ahh!
Your hair is so soft!
What kind of
conditioner do you use?
baddest motherfucker
that the world's ever seen
on the day I was born,
the devil told me that I'd be
the baddest ever born
mister dragonfly!
Welcome, it's a pleasure
to finally meet you.
Even hotter I would
get like a human cigarette,
burning everything I met
I let the devil
tell me something
he told me "never sell
out, move the crowd and keep 'em
bumpin"
the rhyme was cold as
could be, I must've learned
a little something cause
he sold his soul to me
madame dragonfly.
Madam dragonfly?
Thank you charles, but
I'll be dining alone this
evening.
Holy shit, you're a woman.
A beautiful woman!
Ugh!
I didn't hire you to
insult me, monsieur.
I just thought...
Don't think.
Just do.
Get me that recipe.
Yes ma'am.
I mean, madam.
Now go.
who's bad?
Now you know why there are
lesbians.
Hello, uh, steven.
Excuse me, steven.
What is it?
Um, remember that client I was
telling you about from london?
The dragonfly?
It turns out the dragonfly,
um, is actually madam dragonfly.
Are you telling me that
you haven't even met this
person, and you bring
her into my restaurant?
What if she's a cop?
She's not.
No, I swear.
I swear she's not.
Honest. Look, look, listen,
listen.
The dragonfly has a
reputation, and I would
imagine that she keeps her
gender under wraps, so that
she can, you know,
intimidate people.
One more mistake like this
and baphomet will have you
for lunch.
Doesn't she know
that fur's dead?
She's not very bright.
Nah, she...
What are you
still doing here?
Right.
Of course.
Would it kill you
to take a shower?
Madam dragonfly.
It's a pleasure to
make your acquaintance.
Your reputation
precedes you.
The pleasure is all mine, as
I've heard much about you as
well, darling.
Isn't your hostess
going to take my coat?
I didn't come here to make
company with the help.
Of course you didn't.
Please, come.
Sit.
We have much to talk about.
Come on...
Where are you?
holy shit!
Oh, I'm sorry boss, I...
Was just wondering if you
happened to know where the
recipe for...
Oh!
Holy, what the fuck?
Jesus christ, you scared
the shit out of me.
I'm sorry dude,
I was just uh...
Just wondering where
the washroom is.
Right around the
corner, second door.
The... oh.
Honestly!
Now, where are you...
Come on.
If I'm steven, where
would I hide you?
I recently had many
clientele come through my
establishment speaking
of the long pig.
Tell me, why did you
really come here?
I heard you killed your
father to take over the
restaurant.
And who would've
told you that?
Don't worry.
Your secret's safe with me.
You and I have
a lot in common.
Tell me about
your restaurant.
It's a quaint little setup.
Fine dining, to
say the least.
Nestled safely in
the heart of london.
Right in the city.
Hm.
What do you serve?
Our specialty is
nipple tartare.
You really should
come and have a taste.
I'd love to.
Steven?
Yuki.
We're discussing business.
I thought you
might be thirsty.
Parched.
Please, excuse yuki.
Good help is so hard
to find these days.
Seems like she could use
some lessons in etiquette.
hello phatty.
That's with a p-h, right?
Thought so.
I speak asian.
Anyway, I was wondering
if you were, by chance,
preparing a dickey
roll any time soon?
Why?
Well, I'd like to
sample one, wouldn't I?
Find out what makes
it so special?
No white guy in my kitchen.
Right, understood.
Respect that.
Mhmm.
Sure.
I'll just order one
for later, shall I?
Kanpai.
So, tell me.
What's the television for.
Ah, I want all my customers
to be satisfied at the long
pig, so in addition to fine
dining, I offer many forms
of entertainment.
Professional fights,
gambling, sexual pleasures.
Really?
Yes.
Sexual pleasures?
Oh yes.
And here is our
latest programming.
The doctor's office,
where you get an in-depth
understanding of
the human anatomy.
For the more
intellectual types.
And what about the sex?
Ah, the dessert specials.
And what if I prefer my
dessert before dinner?
holy wow!
I'm sorry, did I scare you?
Uh, no no.
I...
Let me help you with that.
Oh!
Oh, you're so tense!
Your hands are so soft?
Yeah?
Relax.
You need to release
that tension.
I can make it all go away.
Y-you can?
Mhmm.
My specialty is full body
massage with hot oils.
Oh, I like massages.
I love massages.
Oh, mhmm.
Awesome!
Beggars can't be choosers.
To be honest, I'd put my
dickey roll up against your
nipple tartare any day.
And what makes your
dickey so special?
Well, the recipe's been in
my family for generations.
Mm, I can't wait
to taste it.
Tell me, how is it prepared?
You think my family's gotten
to where we are by us giving
our secrets away
to strangers?
Ohh, I thought
we were friends.
I'll give you a taste.
The marinating room where
the house special is
prepared.
Fascinating.
Yeah, what can I say?
Timing is everything.
It looks like your hostess
is about to prepare one.
Slut!
You deserve better.
My underwear has more
taste than she does.
She doesn't understand
you like I do.
Snack time.
Shit!
I guess I'll have
to stay for supper.
Look at you.
Juicy...
Who are you?
Easy love, easy.
I was kidnapped too.
Honest!
I, I just my escaped my
cell, and I was checking for
any others.
They killed my dad and
they have my sister.
I have to find her!
Yes, right.
It's alright. Relax!
Why is this locked?
We'll find her.
I promise.
Ahh!
Supper time!
Get the fuck off me!
Get the fuck off me!
Oh, easy love!
I'm craving some american
pie, and this time you will
be sharing.
Oh...
Really love,
don't get nasty.
Oh, look at your lips.
But I'm more interested in
licking your other lips.
Lick your own lips, asshole.
Ugh, you fucking bitch!
My face!
My fucking face!
You bitch!
I'll hurt you!
I will!
You...
Yo, let us the
fuck out of here!
You're good.
two on one.
I pity the fool.
Alright mr. T.
Let's switch this bitch off.
Ow, fucking rock jaw.
That's how I roll!
Ahh, fuck!
Ow!
Tyrone, man!
My fucking leg man!
Carlos!
Okay.
Are you ready?
Holy ugh!
Oh, wow.
Ugh.
That feels so good.
Hm, you like that?
Yeah.
Wait til you
see what's next?
Woah, what?
Hmm, now turn over.
Uh, I...
I can't.
I, see...
I'm hard.
You made me hard.
Yeah.
That is the point.
Now roll over.
Okay.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Oh my.
Sorry.
Don't be.
Go easy.
It's my first time.
Oh!
I apologize, but
I've got to go.
Close your eyes and enjoy.
No, I've got to...
Woah ho ho ho, okay, I don't
know if this is such a...
Oh!
Oh!
You're really good at that.
The guys are never
going to believe this.
Oh yeah, oh!
You're so beautiful.
Yeah, you like that?
Oh yes.
Oh, oh...
Oh...
Oh.
You're not like your
friends are you.
What... do... you... mean?
They died fighting.
With balls.
You bitch!
Ah, beautiful.
Aw, ow!
The fuck?
You bitch.
With a little refinement,
you could make me a happy woman.
I'm gonna wipe that
smile from your face.
Who's smiling
now, motherfucker?
What was that for, woman?
Tyrone!
They got carlos.
I know. I saw it all.
They killed nash
and they have pete!
What? You saw pete?
Yes, and sheila too.
They took them away.
You take it.
He would've wanted
you to have it.
Let's add some
more stripes to it.
Looks like you've
already started.
What now?
We wait.
For what?
Brian.
He's our ticket out of here.
Care for the house
special, bitch?
I don't eat sushi, dear.
Keep the coat.
I enjoy donating to
the underprivileged.
Now move.
You should be ashamed of
yourself, wearing the fur of
a defenseless animal.
Speaking of defenseless,
your boyfriend didn't give
up much of a fight.
You're so naive.
And stupid, giving
away the family recipe.
Thank you.
Stephen already gave
me his house special.
Attached.
It's time for you to die!
Sheila!
Sheila, what did
they do to you?
Time to go.
We've gotta go now.
Now!
This way.
Ah!
Like you're the first
one to try that.
It's okay. It's okay.
Go to sleep big guy.
Go to sleep.
Okay.
Bah!
Come on.
Hi honey.
Sorry about the mess.
Madame and I were playing,
and it got a little out of hand.
The good news is your
family secret's safe.
You fucked him.
Yes, but...
I forgive you.
You did good.
I love you.
And I would have
loved you too.
If you didn't fall
apart so easily.
Jenna!
Wait here.
I'll signal you if I
need a hand, alright?
Go ahead.
Make my dinner.
Ahh!
That should hold
it for a while.
Here, here.
Come on.
Let's get out of here.
Look at my hand!
No, come on, get out!
Where's my hand, woah,
not without my hand!
My hand! Fuck!
Waa!
Now where's your fat
friend now, fucker?
Ahh!
Yes, I rock!
I'm gonna fuck you up with
one hand behind my back.
Let's do it!
Good morning sunshine!
Julie run!
Julie run!
Where you going?
I, I can change!
I love you!
Where you going?
Nice butt, where you from?
I want to show you my sp...
Spring roll!
Hoh!
Brian!
Ugh...
Hey fuckboy,
who's fucked now?
Revenge is a bitch,
motherfucker.
Ahh!
Revenge is a
bitch named jenna.
My hand.
Give my hand back.
Give my hand back.
Give...
Come on.
I had such big dreams for
this place until you and
your friends
ruined everything.
But maybe I could
start all over.
You know, remodel.
Get a new suit.
Maybe a new menu.
Maybe an all female menu.
Yeah, dad would like that.
Dad would be proud.
Dad.
You know my father used to
say I was a disgrace to the
family because I
never ate human flesh.
I just never had
an appetite for it.
Until now.
I've been missing
out, all these years!
Stop!
What?
Pete!
Get off of her.
Jenna...
Just in time for the
main course, huh?
It's over.
Let us go.
Wait, let me
think about that.
No.
We're walking out of here,
and there's nothing you can
do about it.
That's what you think.
I said, it's over!
Come on pete,
let's kick his ass.
Yeah, come on petey.
Come kick my ass.
Come on!
Jenna, no!
Oh, come on.
We can take him together.
Yeah, come on
double team me.
Come on, now's
our chance.
Come on.
Let her go!
So sorry, but your friends
fucked up my establishment.
You're crazy.
I'm crazy?
I could end her right now.
Or you can come
and save her.
Don't you fucking hurt her.
What are you waiting for?
Help me.
Yeah, help her petey.
S-shut up!
Now's your chance.
You could be the real hero!
Stop it.
Come on man, what
are you waiting for?
Don't you love her?
Don't you want to
have her babies?
Shut up, shut up, shut
up, shut up, shut up!
You never listen to me!
Uh oh!
Pete?
Don't listen to him.
You know him?
No.
N...
I thought I was your friend.
Oh, shit.
There's that f word again.
Every guy hates that word.
Don't you know that I think
he wanted a little more, jenna.
Unh.
He's messing with your head.
Really?
Really? Because when I first
heard that petey here told my
bookie about a young martial
artist, I thought he was
doing me a favor, but my
little bro was just looking
out for himself, and wanted
your boyfriend out of the way.
No.
We didn't know that you
would get so involved, though.
But shit happens,
right brother?
How could you?
What, am I gonna have to wipe
your ass for the rest of my
life?
Get ready to spend a lot of
time in the office with dad.
Christ!
Back the fuck up, fool.
Good to see you, bro.
Is she alright?
What, you've come to
give petey a hand?
Pete, you know this dude?
He's the one
responsible for this.
Shoot him!
You're the one that killed
sensei and my boys, huh?
Maybe.
Agh!
Jenna!
Sheila!
Sheila!
Sheila!
Oh brother, I've gotta say,
this is like your best work yet!
Okay, would somebody tell me
what the fuck is going on?
Paging dr. Pete,
paging dr. Pete!
Start talking, now.
Come on, man.
It's me.
What, you're going to
listen to this psycho?
I'm your friend!
Now I'm the psycho?
When this kid was eight,
he took a gerbil and and he
shoved it...
Why?
You put eels inside sheila?
Huh?
I'm gonna end you!
Stop!
He's mine.
You're fucked now.
I love you.
I...
I did this f...
For who?
You killed my dad and
skinned nash alive for who?
You tortured and killed
my sister for who?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
You don't get to apologize!
He's done!
He's gone.
Let's get out of here before
someone else comes out of
the shadows.
Will you hold my hand?
Thank you.
Ain't that what
a brother for?
I'm evil
there's nobody to save
you when your lights go out
I'm evil
and can't nobody hear
you scream when you're trapped
in my house
I'm evil, evil, evil
I'm evil
yeah
they say food for
thought or use your thoughts for
food
if you are what you eat,
then I'mma soon be you
if dude can scrap, I'm
setting up the booby trap
or get my girl to set
you up, where's yuki at
somebody got to die
in order for us to dine
I watching my live
flatscreen, primetime
but wait, but wait,
welcome to the long pig
this is your fate and
you ain't got long kid
get on the plate baby
cakes 'cause you look delicious
some call it vicious,
but I call it business
fat fucks get chopped
up and sauteed
slapped up and
kidnapped in broad day
you can fight for
your life in the pit
but at the height of
the night there's a price on
you, bitch
from boxing to kung fu
you come with jiu jitsu
no matter where you run,
I'm gonna get you, cause
I'm evil
there's nobody to save
you when your lights go out
I'm evil
can't nobody hear you
scream when you trapped in my
house
I'm evil, evil, evil
I'm evil
yeah
welcome back, can
I take your order
the menu resembles
an all-out slaughter
fatty got a dickey
roll, ready to serve
skinny give you a hand
if you say the right words
yeah, an
international feast
people travel the world
just to come and get a piece
from elbows to thighs,
neck bones to eyes
wait til you get desert,
then you're really surprised
round here, you gotta
fight to survive
there's money on which
one of you dies, and one of you
dies
ain't nothing funny
'bout the hunger inside
and I don't hear
when none of you cry
plus, I got
customers waiting
and some of them are
getting impatient
get a look at the stuff
that I cook in the basement
I wonder if they know
what I be making, cause
I'm evil
there's nobody to save
you when your lights go out
I'm evil
can't nobody hear you
scream when you trapped in my
house
I'm evil, evil, evil
I'm evil
I'm evil
there's nobody to save you
when your lights go out
I'm evil
can't nobody hear you
scream when you trapped in my
house
I'm evil, evil, evil
I'm evil
I'll have that
dickey roll now.