G.I. Blues (1960) Movie Script

- Keep 'em comin'!
- This ammo's getting heavier.
- I'm gonna hand in my resignation.
- It's a steady job, isn't it?
Room and board, fresh air,
good hours. What else you want?
- Only one more month.
- Wish I was out already.
Drop that shell
and we'll all be out. Way out!
Not bad,
the first tank crew on the moon!
Let's snap it up,
we move out at 0500.
1-6, this is 1-1,
I am in position, out.
Driver, stop! Gunner, HE.
- Fire!
- On the way!
Cease fire.
Driver, stop. Gunner, HE.
Over, right 2-0. Drop 200!
- White shack.
- Identified.
- Fire!
- On the way!
- Just like it had eyes.
- You should see me with a slingshot.
Driver, back to base.
- Roger.
- Home, James, and through the park.
Sarge, anything new on Frankfurt?
We transfer there tomorrow.
It's our last night, get me a date!
- Blonde, brunette or redhead?
- Bald, as long as she wiggles.
You know it!
Jeeter, orders just came in,
I gotta talk to Cookie.
I'll see if he's at the field CP.
Pretty Boy 5,
this is Pretty Boy 1-1.
- This is Pretty Boy 5, over.
- This you, Cookie?
- What's up, pal?
- Frankfurt.
Ain't it great? I just heard. Direct.
It changes our plans for tonight.
Have to cancel out
the Ratskeller, I got other plans.
Cancel out? We were gonna
break in some new numbers!
Sorry, but there are some cute
numbers I have to break off with.
I have to say goodbye.
You finally get Mller to
put us on, and then wave bye-bye!
I didn't mention waving.
Cookie's right, Tulse.
Our careers come first.
You win, I'll do my playing,
but only until 10.
Talking of Frankfurt,
I picked up some hot news.
- Get this. Marla's there.
- Marla?! In Frankfurt?
Did you hear what I just heard?
- Do I hear thunder?
- Are you blind?!
Blind? He hit it, didn't he?
- Aren't we lucky?
- What luck! What are we gonna do?
Here comes trouble.
OK, OK, chattering on the radio
and a thrown track! What happened?
- Sorry, Sarge. My fault.
- You're the driver, ain't ya?
He said sorry.
Can't this army take an apology?
He threw a track, Sarge. Tough job.
Shut up.
Should I call the Automobile Club?
- Would you do that, Sarge?
- Don't just stand there. Fix it!
The whole crew stays till it's done.
Sarge, that'll make it pretty tough
to fix that date for you.
- Yeah. Ride with me, Dynamite.
- Wait a minute!
Somebody has to make out the report.
"Somebody has to make out
the report."
Dames is money in this army, Tulsa.
- Don't look at me, I'm broke.
- I'd like to be as broke as you.
Cookie! You know,
I was on that tank for four hours.
Next time
I'm putting in for General.
Not me,
you're looking at a born civilian.
When am I gonna get
that 300 you guys owe me?
Every day
it's the same question, Sarge!
I just don't happen
to have it on me. No pockets.
- Somebody grab my soap?
- I think we had it for breakfast.
Where's my soap?! Throw me my soap!
All right, all right...
- Tulsa!
- Hiya, Lizzie.
I borrowed my uncle's car.
We go for a ride later?
Sorry, we gotta play tonight.
You don't understand,
I mean here.
- But I have the car.
- Maybe after we're finished.
Keep your motor running, honey.
You're in for a treat, Sarge.
We're playing here tonight.
- Just look at that shape.
- It ain't my type. Where's Dynamite?
- Hey, Sarge.
- I see you got your pockets on.
The geld. I'll take
any part of that 300 bucks.
Sarge, you've been very patient,
so whatever we get tonight,
you get half, OK?
I'll be waiting.
- Here's Papa Mller.
- Bye, Sarge.
- Hi, Papa Mller. We're here.
- Ready for the audition.
Boys, I did not say yes,
I did not say no.
- You said "maybe".
- The "maybe" is now "no".
I can't take a chance with beginners.
But I've told you we're the hottest
combo this side of the Rhine.
This could make you famous.
You could discover The Three Blazes.
And you don't have to pay us much.
- I can afford nothing.
- We'll take it.
- What is this?
- We need practice.
If the price is nothing,
I take the chance.
- Ain't we working kinda cheap?
- Think on the bright side.
If we get nothing,
all McGraw gets is half of nothing.
Hiya, Sarge.
We got one of each. Take your pick.
- At ease.
- Red's my favourite colour.
Right, girls,
let's get a drink at the bar.
- Your name?
- Britta.
You're with me.
Look! Papa wants
to give us some money.
We just lost our amateur standing.
Keep playing. I'll be right back.
- You boys were very good.
- Thanks.
This is gonna help us get
our own nightclub back in America.
As long as it is in America.
Please, no competition.
- Good luck.
- Thanks, Papa.
20 marks, that's 10 bucks.
- 10 bucks added to 290 makes...
- My 300.
- Wait a minute, Sarge.
- Why?
Sure, Sarge. I just wanted to thank
you. There's every penny we owe you.
Sarge, seeing that
you did us such a big favour
by lending us the money to buy
the instruments and get started,
I am now gonna do you a big favour.
- What's this?
- It used to be a chilli parlour,
but we're turning it into
the hottest night spot in Oklahoma.
That's the lease.
Ricky, Cookie and me,
we're opening it up
as soon as we get out of the service.
And Sarge,
we wanna make you a partner.
- Why?
- Well, you're a regular fella
and why shouldn't you be
a partner in our nightclub?
- A nightclub with dames?
- A whole chorus line.
- You can pick and rehearse 'em.
- And rehearse 'em...
This will pay for your share
of the lease. See you later, partner.
- What are you doing? He's singing!
- So? I wanna hear an original.
- Turn that thing off!
- Turn Tulse off!
- I'll turn it off.
- Don't, Jeeter.
Women and children first!
MPs! Come on, Tulsa!
Come on, let's get out of here!
Papa, this'll take care
of the broken glasses.
Sorry, Papa.
Sarge, you're making a smart move.
Your signature on that paper
makes you a full-fledged
partner of the nightclub.
Hope I'm not making a mistake.
- I almost forgot. We need 300 bucks.
- 300?!
- A cheque'll do.
- You got 300 off me last night!
I'll try to explain.
Signing the lease is just part of it.
We need 600,
and you being our treasurer...
- I resign. Give me my dough back.
- Partners shouldn't quarrel.
What's that? Comin', Joe!
I didn't hear nothin'.
- See you later.
- Where you goin', Rick?
- Buttonhole the guy who saw Marla.
- Can I throw you a few leads?
You know I don't bother
with used phone numbers.
Did McGraw sign the lease?
He signed, but he wouldn't
come up with that dough.
Then what good is it?
We need 600. We only got three.
I know.
How are the fruleins in Frankfurt?
Great for me,
which makes it kinda tough on you.
I'll take my chances.
I followed you in Hawaii, didn't I?
And I wound up with
12 hula skirts in my foot locker.
Dynamite batted 1,000, almost.
That "almost" separates the men
from the boys.
And every time you went to bat
you stole home?
Turk was knocked out once.
Just once, huh, Turk?
- You mean Lili?
- Yeah...
- She don't count.
- Who's this Lili?
A dancer in the Caf Europa.
There ain't a GI in the division
can date her. She's a real fooler.
Steam heat outside, iceberg inside.
Yeah? I got 50 bucks
that says I can defrost her.
And I got 50 I'd like to double.
I got Lili to the door.
See if you can make it inside,
and stay around a few hours,
till dawn.
Give me three days.
- I'll give you a week.
- That's a bet.
- 10 on Dynamite.
- 20.
- I got 50.
- I got 25!
- I got 300 on Dynamite!
- 300?!
- Anybody gonna cover it?
- Yeah, sure!
Wait a minute,
I wanna piece of that. 50 bucks.
- You're with us.
- But I'm betting against you.
- I'll watch out for you.
- Hold the stakes.
- OK, come on.
- Spell my name right!
Hi, Padre!
Just getting the names
of some art galleries in Frankfurt.
Of course, of course. The Caf
Europa has some wonderful paintings.
All right, men, on the double!
Briefing from Captain Hobart.
Move out!
Come on, give me that!
Right face!
At ease. This won't take long.
As you men realise, you are American
ambassadors to West Germany.
Your conduct during your tour of duty
is of the greatest importance.
There should be no black sheep,
which regretfully is not the case.
Sergeant Bixby. You're a good soldier
in every respect but one.
- German fathers are complaining.
- I don't know any German fathers.
Might be better if you did.
We put our heads together
and we decided to ship you to Alaska.
- Captain, you can't do that!
- Who said that?
You take off at 1000 hours.
Fall into a train at 0950. Questions?
Dismiss your platoons.
You better see
what you can do with Turk.
Would you like some sugar
with your coffee?
- Two lumps.
- Gladly. Gladly.
Turk, all we want is a fair shake.
That's all.
It's not our fault that Dynamite's
being shipped to Alaska.
- What do you say?
- OK, I'll give you a fair shake.
- Thanks.
- Any of your outfit can try Lili.
- Quit kidding.
- Cookie, we're going!
- My gear!
- It's on board!
- What do you say? The bet's off?
- The bet's on!
Good luck! You're gonna need it!
You've gotta help, we're in a spot.
Look, you guys, with me romancing
a girl is a hobby, not a business.
If I'm romantic
I can't think about money.
- OK, who's second on the list?
- Jeeter.
He's been married six times.
Somebody must have liked him.
Maybe there's still a spark left.
I'll ask him.
300 bucks down the drain. I'm in real
trouble with the Sarge this time.
You're not the only one in a jam.
There's Rick and me, our nightclub
in Oklahoma, everything.
You just blew The Three Blazes.
- I guess I did.
- I knew you wouldn't let us down!
- I can't take Dynamite's place!
- You're modest. That's what we need!
An unassuming, gentleman-type
fellow to get his foot in a door!
- Quick, take over! Hey, fellas!
- Look out, Cookie.
- I found out where Marla's working.
- Good. You're in business.
Looks like we both are.
Tulsa's gonna take Dynamite's place!
What a welcome. Nothing.
Who and what are you waving at?
What have I got to lose?
Somebody might wave back.
I was saving this for my wedding,
but this is more important.
If I'm gonna do this,
don't put that smelly stuff on me.
- Any luck with Marla?
- I gotta go there before closing.
- Good luck.
- Good luck!
How you gonna
break the ice with this gal?
Charm, boy. Charm. I walk up to her
and say, "All my life, Lili,
"I been hoping to meet
a gorgeous babe like you.
- "Let's go to your apartment."
- No, no, be more subtle.
Yeah? How's this: "Little girl,
"I'm not one of those GI wolves
that hang around nightclubs.
"Give me a key
and I'll meet you at home."
- That's subtle!
- He's kidding, Harvey.
Relax, guys, I'll play it my way.
Nice, clean, wholesome.
Just don't get shook up. And look...
I don't mind doing this
for you guys, for all of us,
but don't try to help me, OK?
Let's go.
Operation Lili!
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!
There she is, target for tonight.
- Say something.
- You said it for all of us.
Fellas! Come on, take a look!
- Cools a guy off, don't she?
- This might be tough.
Might not.
A strategy, that's what we need.
Come to the manager's office,
we'll fix you.
Wine for Mr Klugmann. On the house!
I think I'll do
a little reconnaissance work.
Spread out, fellas,
give me room, now, please.
May I?
- Yes, of course.
- Thanks.
- Can I buy you a drink?
- No, thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have
a request from an American colonel
to hear a song
from a soldier in his command.
Will Specialist
Tulsa McLean please come up.
Better sing, soldier.
Your loyal public is waiting.
This might be the end
of a beautiful beginning.
- I thought I told you not to help.
- What did I do?
"What did I do?"
Wait till you see this guy,
he's a buddy of mine. Tulsa McLean.
Specialist Tulsa McLean.
Ring a bell?
- I've never heard of the gentleman.
- You haven't heard of Tulsa?
- He's not bad, your friend.
- You two oughtta get together.
I mean, you're both entertainers.
Wait here. I'll get him.
She flipped her lid about you.
She's waitin' for you.
- Where?
- Come on!
Where did Lili go? She wanted
to get together with my pal here.
- I do not think so.
- She flipped over me?!
I think she must have
flipped out of here.
- Now what?
- You tell me.
We just lost
the first round, that's all.
You can get knocked out
in the first round.
You wish a drink?
- Arsenic on the rocks.
- Make that two.
- Two beers.
- OK, two beers.
Please, miss, be reasonable!
If I nearly drowned
Herr Gluckman it is his fault.
No, I will not apologise.
All right, do not apologise,
but he is one of our best customers.
Will it hurt to sit with him
and smile a little?
Tell Herr Gluckman I am very sorry
but I am tired and I am going home.
- He will not understand that.
- All right!
Tell him I have a previous engagement
with two American soldiers.
- You like anything else?
- You never know.
Rome wasn't built in a day. With
her I'm glad they took their time.
You said you were going
to introduce me to your friend.
Yeah! Tulsa, Lili. Lili, Tulsa.
- Would you like to join us?
- Yes, please.
- Here you are, right here.
- Thank you.
- You're fast.
- I've not seen you in here before.
This is your first visit
to the Europa?
- First time.
- Never been here before.
Good breeding, fine manners.
He could be a diplomat,
but he'd rather be a soldier.
I enjoyed your song. That was
your work before you were a soldier?
It might be after. With Cookie and
another buddy, we might open a club.
Not that he has to
make a living. No, sir.
He's not a spoiled playboy
like other oil millionaires.
You'd never know he was sole heir
to 100,000 acres of Texas.
- Look...
- Sorry, it slipped out.
Tulsa wants to make it on his own.
Wouldn't take a nickel from his dad.
- Shows character.
- Take a walk, Cookie.
I better go before I spill the beans
about your grandfather's railroad.
I do not like it here.
We shall go to some other place.
Anything you say, honey.
You won't get into trouble leaving?
I leave when I want to,
and I want to now.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Don't you wanna see how he does?
Later. I got a little side bet
going on me. Get going.
- Where we going tonight, honey?
- Don't call me "honey".
- You didn't mind it inside.
- Now we're outside.
But I got the idea
you and me kinda hit it off.
You and Herr Gluckman
have much in common.
- Wait a minute, honey...
- No "honey".
- If we're going places tonight...
- We are not going anyplace.
You helped me get rid
of Herr Gluckman. Thank you.
- Now I'm going home, alone!
- But we got a date!
A rich young Texas man
should be able to find a date.
I'm not a rich young man.
"Son of an oil millionaire"!
Closest I came to oil was draining
crank cases at a gas station.
- And your grandfather's railroad?
- He was a brakeman in Texas.
What's so funny?
Come on, you poor millionaire.
I'll buy you a drink, honey.
Let's go.
When your friend mentioned
the 100,000 acres in Texas,
- you should've seen your face.
- Now I know why I lose at poker.
You should see that Tulse operate!
- Nice to see you, Lili.
- Nice to see you.
- It's not like your music.
- We play too slow?
No, it's just that
we do it a little differently.
But if it is too slow
it is dull.
Not if you're with it. The rhythm
has to just sort of ooze out.
- Was ist "ooze"?
- Show him "was ist ooze".
- I show you "was ist ooze".
- Ja, ja. Ooze.
"Das ist ooze."
Very nice.
- Shall we go someplace else?
- Yeah, let's do that.
He's off and running!
Turk had her this far
and got dumped in the stretch.
It's on me.
Let's go someplace where we can get
some food, and no music.
I have an idea. We'll go home
and I'll make a nice liederkranz
and pumpernickel and some coffee.
Don't go to all that trouble.
But it would be quiet,
and I'm very good at doing dishes...
OK. Liederkranz, pumpernickel
and coffee.
And for dessert,
some delicious apple strudel.
You are hungry.
I'm a growing boy, ma'am.
I'll get a cab.
No, we'll walk. It's not far, and on
the way we'll get some apple strudel.
- Thanks, ma'am.
- I don't like "ma'am".
Neither do I, honey.
You keep an eye on them,
I'll call Cookie.
Caf Europa, please.
Talk louder! What's the latest?
Breakthrough, he's walking her home!
She's gonna make him a sandwich.
They're stopping
on the way for strudel.
Good, a man can't do his best work
on an empty stomach.
Three and a half hours to go.
Better take small bites on that
liederkranz and pumpernickel.
And you better leave word
at the barracks where she lives.
I may be a little late.
You look beautiful, Tina!
No trouble with
the manager to let me off?
No trouble. I told him
I was your cousin Angelo.
- He believed you?
- Why shouldn't he?
You believe me, don't you?
Before we go to that night spot,
I want you to know something.
- I'm not that kind of guy.
- What kind do you mean?
The kind you think I am.
Smooth, tricky, a heartbreaker.
- You got me all wrong.
- I believe you!
They don't give Good Conduct
medals to just anybody.
Taxi, bitte.
Cookie, I think we have fun tonight.
I love going to nightclubs.
- I can't stand 'em.
- Why were you at the Europa, then?
I was Ionely, Tina.
A Ionely soldier, far from home.
I'm far from home, too.
I come from Milano.
Funny, isn't it? Here we are,
two Ionely people, far from home,
neither one of us with a cosy
apartment to invite the other to
where we could sit and read,
and maybe listen to records
on the gramafunken.
- I have an apartment!
- You have?
- But no gramafunken.
- No gramafunken?
Who needs a gramafunken,
we'll make our own music.
Frulein will give you the address.
Tulsa, tell me more about Oklahoma.
- You've heard everything.
- But it's so interesting.
Your Indian grandmother,
she was a full-blooded Cherokee?
She smoked a corncob pipe and played
a guitar. She taught me how.
Strange, I thought
Indians only played tom-toms.
That's just in the movies. Take
my Uncle Charlie, Leaping Bear.
That's his real name. He plays
the best clarinet you'll ever hear.
Yes, like in the movies. All Germans
are submarine commanders,
and all French girls
are can-can dancers.
Same thing.
That's the trouble with people.
I mean, if people
got to know each other better
then everything'd be
better all round.
Much better.
- You like my pizza?
- It's no wonder Nero got fat.
I'm glad you like.
I'll make some more.
- Not now. Let's talk a while.
- We talk...
We talk about Park Avenue,
New York, where you come from.
OK. What do you wanna know,
my little bambino?
You make a mistake.
"Bambino" is a boy baby.
That is a mistake.
Baby, you're no boy.
To live in Park Avenue, New York,
one must be rich.
Cookie, are you rich?
Money isn't everything, Tina.
Take me, for instance. Before I
decided to make the army my career,
the only girls I ever met
were debutantes.
Dull, artificial butterflies.
They could play tennis,
ride and raise beagles,
but could they cook pizza?
Not on your life!
- I cannot raise a bagel.
- Beagle.
That's what I said. But since
12 years old I can cook a pizza.
Tina knows what a man likes.
I could tell that as soon as I looked
at you. You're very understanding.
You're a simple, understanding,
Italian, farm girl.
I come from the city.
My father is a butcher.
Better yet! A simple,
understanding, butcher's daughter.
- I respect you.
- And I respect you.
And that's what makes
the world go round. Respect...
What are you doing
in Tina's apartment?
It's my apartment too.
We're roommates.
Tulsa, I would like you to meet...
But you met her in the Europa.
I'll fix the coffee and the strudel.
Come help me, Tina.
- And how did you get here?
- It wasn't easy!
You fouled it up again.
- What's he doin' up there?
- Who cares?
- Tulsa's gotta be alone with Lili.
- We know.
- I'm supposed to be alone with her.
- You can't be alone with Tina here.
That's right. Get your hat.
Lili, you break your rule.
You let someone in the apartment.
But he's not like the others.
He's so open. And honest.
Just like my Cookie.
- Lili...
- We're nearly ready.
- Sorry, we have to beat it.
- What a pity.
Cookie just reminded me
it's the first night in town
and we have to get back early.
We have passes tomorrow,
we wouldn't want to lose 'em.
- I've got plans for us.
- Tina, hand me a bag, please.
I'll give you some strudel
for the road.
Thanks. Look,
about that pass tomorrow...
If you get a pass, maybe
we can take a trip to Aschaffenburg?
Good. Ever since I was a kid I wanted
to see Aschaffenburg. Where is it?
- We better get going.
- OK, General.
- You speak German?
- You speak Italian?
- Here's the strudel.
- Thank you.
Tina, you know something?
In Oklahoma Indians
do not always play tom-toms.
You know something? Before me,
he only knew girls who raised bagels.
Cookie, how did you get up there?
- I'm stupid.
- Right!
- Turk didn't mention a roommate.
- You didn't ask.
Look, why don't you give up
and let me pay off the bet?
- Because we're gonna win. Right?
- Right.
Tonight, reconnaissance,
tomorrow the Battle of the Bulge.
Watch where you're going!
What the...?
Hi, Sarge. Glad you dropped by.
- I'd like a pass this afternoon.
- As of now you're on guard duty.
- But it's Saturday!
- So it's Saturday.
- This is important. It's for us!
- What do you mean it's for us?
I'm gonna try and get the trio
booked on the Armed Forces Show.
It'll be worth a fortune
in publicity for our nightclub.
- Why didn't you say so, partner?
- I guess I'm just stupid.
Sergeant McGraw.
Thanks, Sarge. And you
better make one out for Cookie.
- Sergeant McGraw.
- Thanks, Sarge.
And Rick, too.
They might want us to audition.
Maybe I oughtta go along with ya.
You could say I'm your manager.
We'd love to have you, Sarge,
but they need you here.
- You run this outfit.
- I do?
- Yeah. Yeah, I do.
- Thanks, Sarge. Thanks.
Everything that moves
reminds me of that girl.
Of all the rotten luck.
First I get transferred
to Africa for a year,
then when I get here, the landlady
says Marla moves and left no address.
That's tough.
You did it! All she needed
was a little sweetening.
A little sweetening.
That's how I get to her landlady!
- Thanks, Cook!
- What did I say?
All right, knock it off.
Three day passes.
- For you.
- You're a pal, I can sure use it!
How'd you do it? Never mind.
Lili's picking me up
at the gate in half an hour.
You're doing real good with Lili.
But I'm not enjoying it like I
should, with the bet and everything.
Don't let it bother you,
it's natural.
You like Lili and she likes you.
If your buddies make a little money
on the side, is that bad?
- I guess not.
- That's better!
Good luck.
Good afternoon. I like that better.
- Hope I'm as lucky as he is.
- I hope so, too. There's our bus.
- The soldier...
- I wanna talk to you about Marla.
I told you yesterday,
Marla does not live here.
She has moved. Where? I do not know.
- Maybe this will help...
- Young man,
if you gave me one million marks
I still could not tell you.
- But...
- Do not come back.
You waste your time and my time.
- Marla? Gracious, child...
- Yes, Mrs Hagemannn?
- He was here again.
- I hope he will not come back.
Only when you are in love
can you be so angry with someone.
Why don't you see him?
He seems such a nice young man.
I'm sure if he knew
the circumstances, he...
Please, Mrs Hagemannn, I do not
wish to talk about him. Please!
Do you have scenery like this
in Oklahoma?
No, ma'am.
I mean, we have Catfish Creek
and Red River, that's about it.
Come on.
Frankfurt am Main is so called
because it is on the river Main,
which flows into the Rhine,
which eventually flows into the sea.
Wouldn't want it any other way.
Observe this excellent example
of ancient handiwork.
Dated by the artist
in the year 1959.
For those who do not know,
"liebe" means "love".
You don't have
to explain that to a GI,
that's one of
the first words he learns.
- You, too, Tulsa?
- Absolutely.
- Like, liebe that sauerkraut.
- I was not thinking of sauerkraut.
Here's another one.
I have one, too.
- Fritz gets around.
- You know?
You know,
I have something to confess.
Last night when I sat down
at your table, I thought,
- "another one to watch out for."
- And when you sat down I figured,
"Here she is,
the gal I've heard so much about."
- I have a reputation?
- A good one.
You're supposed to be a cold potato.
A human iceberg.
The original fish eye.
Please, so many compliments
will go to my head!
Pretty, ja?
What are they excited about?
The circus in town?
- Better than that. A puppet show.
- Yeah? I've never seen one before.
Sometimes I wish
I was seven years old.
Come on, let's be seven again.
If the soldier really loves her,
he'll never give up.
10-1 he chickens out.
- Bet?
- Bet.
Happy ending. You win.
It's not over yet,
now he sings to her.
- No music.
- It's a full orchestra.
- I'll get that thing going.
- Yes.
You know this tune?
Could you play it on your squeezebox?
- Let's give it a whirl.
- We give it, like you say, a whirl.
I'll try anything once.
In front, the famous Niederwald.
The summit of the Niederwald
rises 985 feet above sea level,
740 feet above the river.
These things ever break down?
Suppose we got stuck
up there all night?
- No need to worry.
- I wasn't worried, I was hoping.
I kinda like it up here.
It's very cosy.
The vineyards of the Niederwald
have existed for 300 years.
- Riding forward makes me dizzy.
- Well, you better sit here.
Yeah, and I'll sit over here.
Observe the neatness and precision
of the grape fields.
- Tulsa! What are you doing?
- I just wanna sit next to you.
- Isn't that better?
- Much better.
You're very quiet. You haven't
said anything for such a long time.
- Didn't you enjoy yourself today?
- Yes, I did. Maybe too much.
So far,
I've been making all the plans.
Tonight, after work,
we do what you want.
Come on, honey.
You're so generous
to buy me a ticket to Milano.
- I'll be so happy to see my family.
- I know what it is to be homesick.
I can't go back to Park Avenue yet,
but I can certainly treat you
to a visit to your family.
- Thank you.
- Keepen Sie the change.
Don't miss that plane.
- It won't be long, now.
- You're so sweet to do this.
I'm doing it for me, too.
I mean, if you're happy, I'm happy.
"The plane for Milano
has been delayed two hours."
Cookie, you do not have to stay.
You have been too kind already.
- How can I ever repay you?
- I'II...think of something.
Bye, Tina.
Come in.
Well, my millionaire from Oklahoma,
where do we go tonight?
That's what I wanna talk about.
- I have to break our date.
- You have no more pass?
No, I just have to call off
our date, that's all.
I should have realised,
you're a soldier,
you can't afford
to take a girl out every night.
No, it's nothing like that.
I had a great time this afternoon.
- So did I.
- I've been thinking about it since.
- I like you a lot.
- I'm glad.
- More than a lot.
- I'm more than glad.
You see, a guy like me,
on temporary duty,
meets a girl he thinks a lot of,
like you.
They go out together
and have a good time,
and suddenly
things start to get serious.
Before you know it, somebody gets
hurt. I don't want that to happen.
I see. You've obviously
given the matter much thought.
I have.
You're telling me it would be best
for me if we do not see each other.
Well, I guess that's it.
- Hi, Tulse!
- Have a chair.
Good news, no roommate tonight.
I bought Tina a ticket to Milano.
- Sorry, I just cancelled.
- You what? Oh, no.
- You didn't tell Lili about the bet?
- I just called off our date.
No point us both thinking I'm a heel.
- You're mad.
- I'm going to the barracks.
The bet is off. Nothing you can say
will change my mind.
OK, so you were born with a
decent streak. It's not your fault.
- Nobody's perfect.
- Sorry, fellas.
A stein of gin.
Rick's been trying to reach you.
Left this number.
Very important, he says.
Thanks a lot.
- What's everybody so happy about?
- Shut up.
What did I say?
I got an idea! Don't do nothing.
Where's he going?
What are you guys planning?
- Yes?
- It's me, Cookie.
Come in.
- I'm very pleased to see you.
- You are?
I was just having a drink.
Won't you join me?
I don't mind if I do.
It's none of my business...
You were gonna drink this, alone?
Not all. Just a little.
- My morale is very low, Cookie.
- Mine, too.
I was gonna ask for a tranquilliser.
This should help.
It's too bad about you and Tulsa.
He's quite a character, your friend.
I'm not used to men who break dates.
- I don't blame you for being sore.
- I'm not sore...
I admire him. We'll drink a toast.
- To a gentleman.
- Yeah. Here's to Benedict Arnold.
You know, Cookie, in this business
it's very unusual,
and very refreshing,
to meet a young man with principles.
I shall miss him.
- Your number, Miss Lili.
- Yes, I'm ready.
- You'll excuse me?
- I gotta join my gang, too.
I wouldn't miss your number, Lili.
Fellas, I'm the guy that just left
the babe that is carrying a torch.
The welcome mat is still out
for Tulsa.
I thought Tina was in Milano?
She is. The roommate!
She's probably been there
and back already. See ya later.
Tina, baby, you shouldn't be here.
- I changed my mind!
- But you were so homesick.
But then, after you leave,
I am homesick for you.
- And I miss my work.
- I missed you, too, sugar.
After you finish work we're gonna
do the town. You and your Cookie.
Good, Cookie!
Tulse! Come on in!
Glad you came over.
- What you all shook up about?
- Take your hat off.
All right, sit down. Sit down.
Stand up, stand up.
First, have a cigar.
You said it was an emergency,
not to give me a cigar.
I found Marla.
We're gonna be married.
How about that.
You want me to be best man, right?
- No, we need a baby-sitter.
- Baby-sitter?!
- Hello. Good to see you again.
- It's good to see you.
- Both of you!
- He's beautiful, no?
He's beautiful, yes.
But how did...?
I mean, who did...
I don't know. Congratulations.
Can you imagine? I still wouldn't
know if her landlady hadn't said.
Mrs Hagemannn is a very wise woman.
Tulse must have a million questions.
- Well...
- Tell him about your silly pride.
You ran out on me with a baby on
the way, without letting me know.
It was not pride. But when I received
a letter from a young lady in America
saying she is engaged
to the man who says he loves me...
That was her story!
I already had a licence to marry you.
And the CO's permission.
But I did not know!
You should have told me.
You never gave me a chance.
You were gone.
- Look, I...
- Sorry, Tulse, go ahead.
No, I think
you just answered 'em all.
We're making a trip
to Heidelberg to use that licence.
- That's why we need a baby-sitter.
- I'm glad to help, Rick,
but the GI manual didn't brief us
on this emergency.
You'll have no trouble.
If he cries, give him his bottle.
His formula's all fixed.
But he will not cry.
He's a very good baby.
- Good.
- I'll put him back to bed.
Good night, Son. Night, little fella!
- Say good night to him.
- Good night.
- I gotta buy him a present.
- A bicycle?
- Bicycle?
- Sure, he's a boy.
- What's his name.
- Junior.
Junior? Well, that figures.
Ready, honey?
- He will sleep like a baby.
- He is a baby.
- We're off.
- Come back any time.
If you're hungry there's liverwurst
in the icebox, by the baby's bottle.
- Take care.
- I'll do that.
Air raid!
Just be calm. Just calm down.
Calm down. That goes for both of us.
Don't be scared. Don't be scared!
Your ma and pa'll be right back.
They just went away to get married.
I'm your uncle Tulsa. Let's play.
Look, look...
I don't blame you.
I know, you're hungry, aren't ya?
Well, we'll fix that.
We'll fix that.
At ease, at ease. Wait, wait.
Take it easy, now.
You stay right here.
You stay right here
and I'll get your milk, OK?
Just don't run off anywhere.
Just don't run off.
See what you made me do?
I'll be there. Schnell.
Wait! You can't have that.
Come on, give it to your uncle Tulsa.
Come on.
Army Manual, section 43.
When in hand-to-hand combat,
apply judo chop to the back of neck.
If you was only my size,
you little rascal.
Come on, give it here.
Milk... Milk...
Gotta have... No milk.
Gotta get milk.
I gotta get help.
You make more noise than a tank.
Give me the Caf Europa, please,
it's an emergency.
Telephone, Miss Lili.
- Hello.
- Hello, Lili? It's me, Tulsa.
- What's all that noise?
- That's the baby.
I don't wanna bother you
at work, but I'm baby-sitting
for a buddy who's gone to get
married, and I'm in trouble!
I know, you don't know
how to change a diaper.
I haven't come to that problem yet.
I don't think I have.
The bottle
with the kid's formula broke
and he's crying and everything,
and he's goin' nuts...
- I tell you, it's an emergency.
- I was just leaving, Tulsa.
I can meet you in my apartment
in about 20 minutes.
I'll be right over. Goodbye.
Come on, Tiger.
Good news, boys, that was Tulsa.
Love is in bloom.
You shoulda heard that honey voice.
"Meet you in my apartment, Tulsa."
Don't just sit there, get going!
Operation Dawn Patrol!
Hang on. Just take it easy, now.
I'm sure glad women have the babies.
What's he bringing her?
A magnum of champagne, you dope!
This boy thinks big!
It's only 2:30.
He could be kicked out.
He won't. Let's get some coffee,
we got a long wait.
Tiger is quiet. He's a good baby.
He's a time bomb. You never
know when he's gonna go off.
Only kidding.
Nothing personal, Tiger.
Lili, I'm sorry to bother you
so late and everything, but...
You're the first person
I could think of. The only one.
I'm flattered.
I'm also very glad. I didn't think
I would see you again.
That goes for me, too.
Yes, sir, I'm sure glad
I had to baby-sit tonight.
- You like babies?
- After they grow up.
None of that "coochie-coochie".
You just sit there.
He's ready to bust loose again.
All babies love to cry.
Sometimes because they're hungry,
or teething, or sleeping.
And sometimes
just so they can hear a lullaby.
I get it. Blackmail.
Certainly. Don't they have
lullabies in Oklahoma?
I don't like the look in your eye.
OK, I'm going. Just trying
to remember the words. Lullaby...
Guess I took care
of that pretty well.
And as your reward,
you can help me clean the kitchen.
KP duty again.
One o'clock, on the dot. Like
I said, it's too early to go home.
Again one o'clock.
It was one o'clock two hours ago.
What do you know? My watch stopped.
Waiter? Waiter!
Beer. We'd like more beer.
Cookie, I am not thirsty.
I am tired. I want to go home.
Man, this is really baby-sitting.
- He's sleeping.
- He won't be any more trouble.
You mean I should take him home?
While he's asleep it would be better.
Might as well get going,
as long as he's asleep.
I think so.
I'll get his basket.
Wake up, Tiger! Wake up, Tiger.
Wake up, Tiger. Attaboy.
I knew you wouldn't let me down.
That settles it! You better stay
until he's asleep again.
Good boy.
- There he is.
- No dice!
It's dawn, pal. You're dead.
You have the bottle
but you forgot the milk.
Will I see you tomorrow?
I mean, today.
Yes, but not
for the whole afternoon.
I have rehearsal tomorrow...today.
For your Armed Forces Show.
We're on it, too. I'll see you there.
- Yes.
- Well...goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- I forgot something.
He sure is working overtime.
I'm glad you came to Germany.
I'm going to write a thank-you letter
to your draft board.
That'll surprise 'em, they never
got a thank-you letter before.
I get 10, he gets 20...
- Dynamite couldn't do better.
- All right.
- As long as we get our dough.
- Don't rub it in.
Very nice. Very nice. I think
we've got it. Thank you, Lili.
Thank you. See you tonight, boys.
All right, gang, take five.
- Hi, Maestro.
- How many numbers do you want?
- One.
- Right. And an encore.
No, one number, no encores.
Rehearsal in 15 minutes.
Don't go away, be right back!
See the Maestro's expression?
- Hi!
- See you later.
Hi. Have you recovered
from your baby-sitting?
Don't run Tiger down,
he did me a big favour.
- I might have never seen you again.
- I'll tell you a secret.
I would have given you one day
to call me. Maybe even two.
Then on the third day,
I would have called you.
Excuse me. The roof's caved in.
Captain Hobart wants to talk to you!
- What about?
- What? Who won the bet for us?!
He did stay in your apartment
till morning, didn't he?
- No offence, ma'am.
- There was no bet.
- We called it off.
- How come everybody got paid?
I gotta find Cookie,
maybe he'll have an angle.
Look, that's not how it was.
Naturally. The whole matter
concerned two other people?
- No, it was us.
- Tell me some other time.
- I'll tell you now.
- Very well, soldier.
- How much did you win?
- Seeing you last night was no bet.
There was no need to borrow a baby
to get into my apartment.
Really, you underestimate
your attraction.
- McLean, you have an appointment.
- I gotta see a pal.
Follow me!
Wait here.
Excuse me, Miss Lili, Captain Hobart
would like to talk to you.
Thank you.
Two babies could not look
so much alike. You are the one.
- You are Lili?
- Yes.
I'm the baby's mother.
It was good of you to help Tulsa.
Men are so helpless.
They are more babies
than the babies.
He was your baby-sitter?
- You're telling me!
- Miss Lili?
Miss Lili,
the Army owes you an apology.
Your rendezvous with this man
had a mercenary motive.
- There was a bet.
- To spend the night with you alone.
I'm afraid that wasn't the case,
Captain. We were well chaperoned.
You see,
Tulsa and I were baby-sitting.
Yes, for Marla and me.
I can't transfer a man for that.
I wish I'd known before
that you did this kind of work.
Mrs Hobart and I
have a date tomorrow.
- How are you with twins?
- Twice as helpful.
Here you go, Tiger. Back to your
poppa. I got work to do. Captain.
Lili, this isn't the time
or the place...
Of course I'll marry you. I love you.
We can get hitched? This afternoon?
- If I get the CO's permission.
- Maybe.
And maybe tonight after the show
you'll win the bet.
Did you ever?