Goin' South (1978) Movie Script
Oh, you Rio Grande!
Get in there.
Viva Mxico!
Viva Mxico!
This here's Mexican
dirt. You can't touch me.
Thought you'd get me?
You're a disgrace to the Confederacy.
Speed, this ain't no time
to let me down. Get up!
This is Mexican territory.
He gets across the river
and his horse faints on him!
This ain't fair, goddamn
it. This ain't fair.
This ain't fair.
Good Lord. They're
stringing up old Speed.
I have here a very fine animal
once owned by the hombre
we're about to hang.
What am I offered?
Hey! I still own that horse.
When we want to hear from you,
amigo, we'll rattle your cage.
Ain't that the horse that fainted?
Yeah, he fainted. But
he got up, didn't he?
What?
What?
Towfield, I said keep
these buzzards out.
Take it easy, Moon. You're lucky
you're getting a decent hanging.
I'd have done it out
there on a scrub oak.
Goddamn vultures hanging
around here all morning.
They just want to see
the man of the hour.
Well, I'm flattered as hell.
You're a real card,
Moon. I'm gonna miss you.
Your family's here. Make it short.
Boys!
Brother Abe, Jimmy,
Gussy and everybody.
Dumb-ass deputy. He thought
you were really my family.
So I figured...
You look pretty as a painting, honey.
- How ya doin', Henry?
- Well...
...roll it out.
- Nothing like that, Henry.
- We just come to see you off.
See me off?
Doesn't look like you did
too good on your own, Henry.
You should've stuck with us.
We was going places, goddamn it.
What do you mean, "was"?
All you gotta do is spring me.
If we tried anything,
we'd only get shot.
Yeah, but that's without my plan.
Cut that out.
Big Abe, they're gonna
send me to the bone orchard.
If you got anything you want to
give away, Henry, now's the time.
Say your goodbyes, boys.
- Nice knowing you.
- Yeah, Coogan, sure.
It just ain't right. Just for cutting
a few horses and robbing a few banks.
The law's gotta be changed, Henry.
Go on outside.
So long, Moon.
Adios.
Well, honey, at least we had
some good old times together.
You was the best I ever had.
Except maybe that circus fella.
- Why does that always upset you?
- Why bring that up now, Hermine?
- Shit!
- Oh, Henry.
Don't worry, Moon.
I'm gonna take care of this
girl like she's my very own.
- Come on, honey.
- Oh, Henry.
Mr Moon?
It's about that time.
- What about my last meal?
- You're smoking it.
Hands behind your back, Mr Moon.
He ain't for you.
I wouldn't take you to a dog fight
if you was the defending champ.
You oughtn't to have
done that, Mr Moon.
Well, why don't you
keep me in jail for it?
- You tell him about the ordinance?
- No.
Why not?
People I don't like,
I don't tell nothing.
- Goddamn it, Towfield.
- What ordinance?
- What ordinance, Sheriff Pile?
- Kyle.
We got this ordinance here,
passed after the Civil War,
because a lot of our
boys didn't come home
and the women was
chewing up the grass.
- I feel sorry for the grass.
- I feel sorry for the women.
This ordinance says any
man, short of a murderer,
can be saved from the gallows
by any property-holding female,
providing she decides to marry him.
They done that in Roman
times, as I recall.
Sweet Jesus H Christ
Almighty! Ma'am! Ma'am!
There's a couple of things about
me that I'd like you to consider.
- I don't need your insults.
- I agree completely.
But you've gotta take into
consideration that a man...
...can get a little irritated...
...and act like the dickens
when he's about to die.
- Buzzards, huh?
- Well, buzzards can fly.
And they keep the
desert clean. I cook.
I cook like a sonofabitch.
I mean like the dickens.
- Hello, son.
- Go to hell.
I understand.
Henry Lloyd Moon,
you've been found guilty of horse
thievery and sentenced to be hanged.
Do you have any final last words?
Just this:
I wanna tell you good
people of Longhorn,
especially you lovely ladies,
that the old saying, "You can't
judge a book by its cover",
it's true.
Some books are all
scruffed up on the outside,
but when you turn around
and look inside, why,
the words is just wonderful.
Is that it, Moon?
Isn't there anybody
else got anything to say?
"The Lord is my Shepherd,
I shall not want.
"He maketh me to lie
down in green pastures.
"He leadeth me beside
the still waters.
"He restoreth my soul."
That's not right.
"The Lord is my Shepherd,
I shall not want.
"He maketh me to lie
down in green pastures.
"He restoreth my soul.
"He leadeth me beside
the still waters.
"Yea, though I walk
through the valley..."
I'm a veteran of the great Civil War.
The only reason why I turned to
crime was there wasn't no jobs.
Not one single job for a
man who risked his life...
...for his country.
In the Confederacy!
This one's dumb, he'll swing for sure.
He's better off.
"And I will dwell in the
house of the Lord forever."
Bullshit!
Ready to go.
Stop!
I'll take him.
Florence! Now...
Don't you think that you're...
...a mite too elderly to take
on a responsibility like this?
I've got a good feeling
about him, Andrew.
The boy's a veteran. He
deserves a second chance.
Somebody take this
son-bitchin' blindfold off me
and let me see my bride.
Where is she?
Florence!
Florence!
Mrs Henry Moon.
Let me look at you.
- Stand back, folks.
- Florence!
Stand back, please.
Just ain't your day.
Maybe she just fainted.
- I made her dizzy.
- Down she go, up you go.
Is she dead?
Then I'll take him.
Julia, what are you
saying? He's an outlaw.
I assumed that's why
you're hanging him.
Are you drunk?
Sheriff, you know I don't drink.
'Course she don't drink.
You want him?
The law says I can claim him, right?
I asked you out ten times. What did
I get? A flap of your umbrella. Shit!
All right.
OK, Julia.
Mr Moon, what do you say?
I ain't no side of beef
to be auctioned off, but...
...hell, fine by me.
Well, I think I'll skip the wedding.
I ain't taking Frank
Towfield's business tonight.
Somebody's taking his business,
or we ain't got no business.
Now, Mr Moon: No
drinking, no gambling,
no wife-beating, no
alley-cattin' and what have you.
You've got to mind her.
If you try running, there'll
be $500 on your head.
Well, gentlemen, much
obliged to you. Much obliged.
Shall I take the reins, dear?
Adios!
See, I told you he had a plan.
You can dance in the air, you
sonofabitch. Stealing my girl.
Miss, in case you want to
know who you're dealing with...
...I used to ride with
Quantrill's Raiders.
You always this quiet?
When I have something
to say, you'll hear it.
Well, look, I can get off right
here as far as I'm concerned.
Of course, a good
husband's hard to find.
You weren't hard to find, standing
there with a rope around your neck.
Yeah. You sure are a smart woman.
I like smart women.
Sure you do.
Who's that?
One of the reasons we got married.
Hey, Rover.
That's Grover.
This is where I live.
Well, Julia. It ain't
much, but it's a start.
Guess I don't get to carry
you across the threshold.
Wipe your feet, please.
Always do.
Well... it looks like the opera house.
Please take your clothes off, Mr Moon.
Don't sit there.
Here, put these on.
These is work clothes.
That's right.
But I just got married.
Don't count on that too much.
This is a gold mine? In Texas?
It's gonna be.
Looks like mice bit into it.
First you'll begin crevassing,
then cross-cut using the
singular jacking method.
I ain't familiar with
that particular method.
You pry away any loose rocks.
Are you watching?
Then you insert the drill.
Like this.
Then you use the sledgehammer.
Simple.
Where's the gloves?
My hands blister easy.
Better blisters than neck burns.
Mr Moon...
Pretend we're friends
and call me Henry.
The railroad is breathing down my
neck, so let's not waste any more time.
I'll do all I can do, but...
...that's all I can do.
I'll be outside running
auriferous tests.
Why don't you run one on
your skull while you're at it?
Supper's ready.
I don't believe in
wasting time at the table.
How'd you come into this place?
It was my father's.
Did he believe in this gold mine?
He believed, but not enough.
Sounds like he was the
brains in the family.
Boiled chicken?
Boiled is better for you.
How's about a little dessert?
I said, how's about a little dessert?
- I heard you the first time.
- You didn't answer me the first time.
Can I ask you a personal question?
When was the last time you had a man?
I hope you don't mind confined
spaces, tomorrow we start tunnelling.
Goddamn, I should've known.
You can always tell a virgin because
the whites of the eyes ain't clear.
I got this theory on
virgins, that they...
...always look peaked and grouchy
because they're going against nature.
I don't want to get calluses
patting myself on the back, but...
...in my time I have put a
gal or two in tune with nature.
I'm sure nature is very grateful.
Listen to me.
Don't let starting
late bother you none.
Some of them late bloomers is...
I'll be outside in the barn if
you feel like getting acquainted,
or talking about tunnelling.
And remember, nature
is the great provider.
Goddamn.
Well, good morning, Spot.
Could use some bacon...
Morning, miss. What's for breakfast?
Conserve your energy.
There's a lot of work to do.
Don't you worry about me,
I know how to pace myself.
If I want to...
...I can do this all day long.
I'm talking about all day long.
Pace myself.
Where are you going?
I wanna...
...take a little Spanish pause.
That's one of the keys
to pacing yourself.
You just go on trimming your wicks.
I can do this all day long.
I'm talking about all day long.
All day long.
Hey, lady!
Understand?
She sure is full of piss
and vinegar today, ain't she?
A lot of literature on Philadelphia.
What's the fascination with
the city of motherly love?
Brotherly.
I'm moving there.
- To Philadelphia?
- Just as soon as I strike gold.
I like it down there in Mexico.
Pace suits me better.
Slow days and fast nights.
What a pleasant surprise.
We saw lights and felt
we weren't intruding.
Oh, Laurette, you're never intruding.
You all remember my husband, Henry.
Welcome to our humble abode.
We brought a little wedding something.
Oh, you shouldn't have.
How pretty.
We was just saying how
much we needed a figurine.
- I'll get us some tea.
- Shall I help?
We'll help.
Don't be long now.
We felt you'd be needing someone
to talk to. Especially now.
What Laurette is trying to say
is that we all have so
much in common these days.
We do?
We're all ordinance brides.
Oh.
Since you've never
been married before,
we all thought we should
have a little chat.
Do you prefer orange
pekoe or lapsang oolong?
You see, a husband has certain rights.
And a wife has certain duties.
And that's where the trouble starts.
Speak for yourself, Laurette.
You know, I rode with Quantrill. Finest
revolver gang in history, till he died.
Quantrill died?
Last year.
That Shorty, he don't even
ask. He just goes right to it.
Those outlaws just don't know
how to take "no" for an answer.
Whitey is so funny.
Why, last night he got all
painted up like an Indian.
And did he go on the warpath!
Say, want to have yourself
a really wild time?
Why not dress up like an Indian?
That sounds like it oughta
be Julia's cup of tea.
I guess I'll go on out and
see how the squaws are doing.
I suppose what we're
trying to say, Julia, is
it's not as much of a
chore as you may have heard.
But, if it should become one,
I have found that the best thing to do
is just think about canning apricots.
Apricots?
Well, for some reason,
apricots just seem to work best.
How are we doing, ladies?
Bye.
- Thank you for the lovely gift.
- Let's do it again real soon.
Nice folks.
They seem content.
Well...
...you know what they say:
"Lady love an outlaw like a
little boy love a stray dog."
We still haven't
cleaned up that table.
You know, I was thinking
about them chairs of yours.
Picking them up, setting them down
through the air. Why, it's poetry.
Think I'm getting a headache.
Pretty soon, all over America,
people's gonna be picking up
chairs and setting them down.
It's gonna be all your doing.
Julia...
...what do you say we try
canning some of them apricots?
"It would be like a
man hauling with one ox
"and looking for two, hoping
for the help of the Lord.
"Why not get rid of all the oxen
"and count on the Maker all the way?"
Very good.
- I look forward to hearing it
on Sunday. - Thank you.
Morning, ladies!
I sure did enjoy them
canned apricots last night.
Julia!
What the hell was that supposed to be?
A joke?
No. You don't understand. A joke
is when you make somebody laugh.
Miss Tate. Please
step into the office.
It's Mrs Moon.
Excuse me. Miss Tate...
- Why, you...
- Henry.
I believe this is between
Mr Polty and myself.
Hey, Moon! It looks like
the honeymoon is over.
What's the matter, Moon? You
look like a dog without a bone.
- Hey, Hector.
- Si.
Why don't you go to the
Mexican side of town,
see what the beans is jumping on?
- Beans?
- Beans.
You know, Polty's just
another word for chicken.
Good one, Towfield.
- Who thought it up for you?
- Let's go chew the fat.
What for?
'Cause I'm in a good mood.
Well, how's about a little snort?
Hey, Peachy.
Bottle of mash and
two glasses, Norvell.
- Not for him.
- What do you mean?
- Sheriff's orders.
- Sheriff didn't tell me.
You don't tell him nothing,
so he don't tell you nothing.
Them's the breaks!
You know, I owe you a special thanks.
What for?
What for? Hell, if you hadn't jerked
me back across the border to the...
...just desserts, so to speak, why...
...I'd never have
been married to Julia.
Thinking on it that way, why...
...you sorta introduced us.
Yeah, Towfield... things is good.
You heard about matches
made in heaven, didn't you?
- Well, I'm in one of 'em.
- Goddamn it, Moon! You stole my girl.
Take it easy, Towfield. You're
wrinkling my good luck bandanna.
How's this?
You give me the bottle and
I'll tell you the truth.
You mean you was just japin' me?
She puts chairs up on the wall
so people can't sit on them.
What?
I can't go into it,
Towfield, it's over your head.
But it's bad, huh?
Like eggs rolled in sand.
Duck out back for a snort.
Listen, amigo, don't
ever call me a bean again.
What the hell was that?
Bye, Moon.
This is as hard for
me as it is for you.
A year ago last Christmas Eve,
I had to move 150 Comanche souls
off their sacred burial ground.
I know exactly how they felt.
What's the matter, honey? You
look whiter than an albino.
You been bothering my wife?
We have 30 days to vacate.
- What?
- This doesn't concern you.
If it concerns her, it does me.
The railroad's taking over
my land under eminent domain.
Eminent domain. Ain't that where
somebody bribes the state legislature
to take away some poor folks' land?
- I won't dignify that with an answer.
- I ain't asking for no dignification.
But I do find it interesting
that you prefer doing business
with the lady of the house.
Come on, Moon.
I'm sorry, Julia, but unless
I am advised otherwise,
I'll be out to survey.
You know...
...Polty's just another
way of saying chicken.
Whoa, William.
They may be bold maids till they die
Oh, yes.
Mother says I mustn't Oh, George,
please George, not just yet
Oh, yes. Swim, swim.
Be naked.
Oh, yes.
Oh, I love you.
Who's there? What are you doing?
Oh, Julia. I was just
out here surveying.
You liar! You were spying on me.
Me? I never would do such a thing.
Help!
Julia. I swear on my honour.
I didn't see a thing.
It's not what you think.
- You old...
- What's going on here?
- Nothing.
- Are you bothering my wife again?
I was out surveying. There's my
equipment. My tripod, my maps...
Caught you, didn't I?
I swear, no. I wasn't doing anything.
Then, apologise.
- I apologise.
- All right.
Now eminent domain
your ass outta here!
Ooh, nasty!
What's the matter?
Nothing.
Why'd you stop laughing?
I don't know. Get to work.
I'd rather laugh.
- That's all you like to do.
- No. That ain't all I like to do.
No, Moon.
Ooh, nasty!
Damn.
- It's northern.
- Yeah.
Did you get stung?
Yes.
Did you?
Where?
Outlaws don't know how to
take "no" for an answer.
What are you doing down there?
What are you doing down there?
What am I doing? I guess I was
dreaming about tunnelling or something.
Out! You got me drunk,
I don't remember a thing.
- I didn't get you drunk.
- I will not have such talk here.
You tricked me!
I didn't trick you.
Get your clothes and get
up, there's work to do.
Oh, I get it.
You're so afraid
you're gonna like that,
that you'll forget the
gold and Philadelphia.
Get your clothes and get out of here.
Sonofabitch!
I was right. All these years!
Them painted ladies knows
how to appreciate a man.
They don't got unnatural
questions. "How did it feel?"
Dammit. I feel sorry for the poor
sonofabitch that winds up with you.
Nice being married to you!
You haven't got a plug nickel.
You haven't even got a gun.
You won't get 20 miles before a
posse'll get you and string you up.
I only slept with you
so you'd keep on working.
I hope they hang you.
Not the curtain.
You wouldn't dare.
Well...
...I hadn't thought of
it, but now you mention it,
up in San Francisco I seen some
Chinese that done it this way.
The Chinese is an old civilisation.
They understand things about pleasure
that I've never even thought of.
One thing's for sure: We
ain't had a boring marriage.
Deputy, how can you
do a thing like this?
- But 15 days? That's not fair.
- Tell it to the railroad.
- We've been here since '43.
- Them's the breaks.
Damn worthless black goo.
I was just going into town to...
buy an animal.
Now, gentlemen, let's not
have no misunderstandings.
Me and the little woman
haven't been getting along.
Don't go in there!
Where's the doctor?
What's the matter? Where's the doctor?
The doctor... Oh, yeah...
I never got there.
This pea-brain grabbed me
and stuck me in a wagon.
It would've broke
your heart to see it.
- You never told me about no doctor.
- You never asked.
Is something wrong, Julia?
- Female trouble.
- Oh, the vapours.
- I'd better put you to bed, darling.
- I just got out of bed, darling.
What the hell d'you pick
him up for, Towfield?
- He was dressed like a Mexican.
- That's not illegal.
I told him.
Well...
Let's leave these two lovebirds alone.
I told him.
I told you but no, you wouldn't...
You missed me, didn't you?
I did not!
I can see it. Them eyes
ain't angry. They're relieved.
And they ain't bloodshot.
- I wanted you back to work the mine.
- No.
You missed Old Man in the Moon.
Hell, I got my faults,
I admit it, but...
Hell, I got my ways, too.
I missed you a little bit, too.
I did.
When I was heading for the
border, I couldn't stop thinking
that nobody's ever
saved my life before.
I just couldn't leave you in
your time of need... of me.
It's been quite a day.
I'm a bit tuckered out. I
think I'll take a poco siesta.
Oh, you don't have
to sleep in the barn.
You can sleep on the couch.
Say when.
When.
Rats.
That's it for me.
I'm too young to die.
You don't understand.
I understand about dreams.
I understand about waking up, too.
I wanted to ride with the Younger
Gang, they wouldn't have me.
Claimed I wasn't cut
out to be a Younger.
My feelings was hurt,
but I accepted it.
You know, for an outlaw you've
been a pretty good friend.
What's the matter?
Gold!
Good Lord Almighty, I found gold!
Watch out.
Don't knock into none of these beams.
I know it's around here
somewhere. I can feel it.
I don't see nothing.
It's here. Believe me, it's here.
Goddamn!
Oh, goddamn! Look at that, gold.
- It's all over everything.
- Moon, I told you. Didn't I tell you?
Honey, kiss me. I'm rich.
Goddamn, I am rich!
You wait long enough,
and pretty soon down it's
gonna come right on you.
Like a wall full of Mexican teeth.
You know...
I'm gonna get my initials
put on my saddle in gold.
They like it that way
down there in Mexico.
All we gotta do now is deposit this
first bunch in the bank and then...
We? What do you mean, we?
Just that, in all fairness, I
played a part in striking the gold.
You never believed it existed.
But you'd've never struck it
if it wasn't for me. Correcto?
So?
So, where's my share of the stake?
You're right.
I'll give you ten percent.
You don't understand. You see,
sharing is giving to each other.
Fifty percent.
We'll talk about it later.
All right, all right.
Twenty-five percent and we can
stop this conversation right here.
Must be funny depositing
something in a bank, huh, Moon?
Yeah, it's a whole
new experience for me.
We're sorry to have
you and Miriam leave us.
Thank you.
What with the railroad and this
black stuff springing up everywhere,
a man just can't grow
a decent ear of corn.
Awful heavy for figurines.
It's my whole collection.
- I'll guard it with my life.
- You can do better than that, Whitey.
- Henry Lloyd Moon in the bank.
- Want one of these?
Sure.
Goddamn it. I like being rich.
Maybe now you can buy your
way into the Younger Gang.
Darling...
I think I'll buy me a little
cantina south of the border.
Time to start living the good life.
Goddamn it, honey.
I'm gonna be a patrn.
Tequila, cards, seoritas.
Hey, wait till the Dominguine
sisters get a load of me!
Don't do that, you're acting foolish.
Maybe you oughta try it.
You want to see something foolish?
That's foolish.
Fifty percent?
You're gonna give me fifty percent?
We're partners, aren't we?
Well, if you're gonna
put it that way, yeah.
I don't know how to say this, Henry.
But...
...I think I got...
...greedy and selfish
living alone so long.
Well...
...that's how you get.
Once you get started...
...you don't hardly
ever get out of it.
For calling me Henry.
- Friends of yours?
- Used to be.
- What are they doing here?
- Good question.
Well...
Sorry to keep you waiting, but...
...me and the missus was playing fish.
Thought we'd stop by and
bring you a little shivaree.
- Did you?
- Since we ain't been formally invited.
Well, me and Julia was just
saying the other day how we was...
...gonna have you all out.
You sure got your wish,
didn't you?
I damn sure did.
- Ain't you gonna ask us in, Henry?
- Why, sure, honey pie.
- Don't you know how to wipe your feet?
- Hey, old Coogan. Wipe your feet off.
Hope you like taffy.
It was my idea.
Thank you.
They call me Big Abe.
Ol' Henry still snore in his sleep?
I want them out of here.
- Not as much as I do.
- Moon!
You want them to find
out about the dust?
Well...
Anybody hungry?
Hungry? Shit, I could
eat a frozen dog.
Well, we'll go to the kitchen and
see if we've got one already froze.
I wouldn't eat no frozen dog.
A feast fit for a king.
That's his speciality. Them
pork bellies make it tasty.
Did you know Henry used
to cook for the Raiders?
He cooked for Quantrill's
Raiders? No, he never told me that.
I bet there's a lot he never told you.
Shit!
Goddamn, Abe. There's ladies present.
Easy, you'll loosen my molar up.
Just play along a little while longer.
You go, I don't want
to spoil your fun.
I ain't having a
good time, I swear it.
Just trying to throw them off the track.
Wouldn't be me if I wasn't acting wild.
Forget about all this and go and
have a good time. Act foolish.
Shit.
This ain't no real marriage.
Come on. Meet me tonight, huh?
I'll give you my old coyote call.
Remember?
Not now.
Anybody seen my goddamn molar?
No.
But if I do, can I put it under
my pillow for the tooth fairy?
You won't get nothing for it.
Come on boys, let's help Big
Abe find his goddamn molar.
Wait, I have a better idea.
Moon...
...let's go and buy Big Abe a
whole goddamn set of gold teeth.
You'll ruin everything,
acting like a fool.
I don't give a goddamn what
anybody says, I'm a gentleman.
And I'm not gonna
throw up in this house,
I'm going outside to throw up,
'cause I respect your house.
Big Abe, you can throw up
in this house any old time.
Goddamn gold, that sonofabitch
is keeping gold from us.
Got no money! Sonofabitch!
You almost spilled the beans.
Come on and help me
find Big Abe's molar.
Didn't I tell you to watch what you
was doing? You don't understand outlaws.
I understood you when you
told me to act foolish.
I didn't tell you to get
drunk and sing your head off.
- Hog liked my singing.
- That's why they call him Hog!
Damn, Hermine!
Quit that goddamn
coyote calling, I'm here.
You're wife's acting
terrible, ain't she?
No, she's just had a
little too much bug juice.
Now I figure you ain't had
much of anything in a long time.
How come you and the boys
decided to stop by tonight?
I wanna make it real
good for you, Henry.
Hermine, you ain't
hearing my question. God!
- What was it?
- I don't wanna hurt your feelings.
I appreciate the coyote calling
and all, but...
...I told you, things have changed.
Crawl in, Henry, and see what I got.
You ain't hearing me.
I seen what you got.
It was swell. We had some times
together I'll never forget.
But Hermine, now I'm took.
Hold it. That's enough.
- Don't shoot.
- Vamoose.
If I was monkeying around,
would I still have my clothes on?
Then why'd you go out there?
Don't make no difference.
No matter what I say,
you won't believe me.
Go ahead.
Well, I was just trying to
get information off of Hermine.
That wasn't all you
wanted to get off of her.
All I wanted to know is if they
knew anything about the gold.
You care more about
the gold than about me.
That ain't true.
I could've done what you
think I done, but I didn't.
I don't believe you.
I was there strictly on business.
You want that woman! Take
her, but forget about the gold.
People can't afford business
partners that cheat on them.
- We made an agreement.
- And I'm breaking it.
- You can't do that to me.
- I just did.
That tears it. Gotta put the
old double X to Henry Moon, huh?
Well, we'll see.
Now, you want your gun back, Moon?
Where's the goddamn gold?
- What gold?
- That gold right there, where is it?
You aren't quite as ignorant
as you look. Come on in.
- How much we got here?
- Enough.
Actually, I was just
coming looking for you boys.
Sure you was.
We're gonna hit the Longhorn bank.
There ain't nothing in that
chickenfeed bank but sun-filled windows.
- And all the little lady's gold.
- Let's hit her in the morning.
- Not yet.
- You got a plan?
I'm gonna make that woman
sorry she ever said, "I do."
- He's hiding something.
- I don't think so.
- I know so.
- I knew he had a plan.
Me, too, but I don't
know if we're in on it.
- Let's keep a watch on him.
- Come on, gang.
You better take a rest
before your arm falls off.
You want some water?
Are you always this quiet?
I got nothing to say.
I keep my word.
Honey?
Honey, are you all right? Goddamn.
- Are you all right?
- Yes.
Watch it. That's it, all right.
- Can you stand there?
- Yes.
OK, there's a light.
- You all right?
- Well, I been better.
It's all right, nothing's
gonna happen to you.
Here, hold this. You stay right here.
When I get back, we'll
take a little Spanish pause.
Now...
Henry Lloyd?
What?
Nothing.
I'm sorry about last night.
I know it doesn't matter, but...
...if we're going to die,
I want it to be as partners.
Fifty-fifty.
We was a good team.
Good? Shit, we were the best.
- Honey pie.
- Moon...
...I been thinking, since
we're gonna go anyway,
why don't we go out
in a blaze of glory?
Tie me up.
We're alive!
- I been watching you, Henry.
- Figured.
Ain't you up a little early?
We don't hit the bank till ten.
There's been a little change in plans.
I gotta tell Big Abe.
You gotta do what you gotta do.
I'll never forget you, Hermine.
You was the first woman I
didn't have to pay for. Adios.
- You're a mite early, compadre.
- I wanna make a withdrawal.
Your wife will have to do that. Us
ordinance husbands aren't allowed to.
- Besides, we're closed.
- You're open now.
Open it up.
Over there.
Hurry up, buddy.
Cover that up.
I never thought you'd
do this to Julia.
It's the only way to
save my marriage, Whitey.
Grover, where's Julia?
Damn.
Rocks.
Damn, honey pie.
Reach, Moon.
Mr Moon, you're still here.
Where's Julia?
Guess he ain't heard the news.
- What news?
- Your wife sold up to the railroad.
Gentlemen, start
tagging the furniture.
- When?
- Does that concern you now?
Where is she?
I believe on her way to Philadelphia.
And you're going to meet Saint Peter.
That's right, Moon. You're
going to meet seor Peter.
- We know you got it.
- I ain't got nothing.
We don't believe you.
- Ain't got what? Who's
that? - The ex-Moon Gang.
They picked the wrong
hombres to mess with.
Watch it, Big Abe.
OK. One, two, three!
- When did she leave?
- Why should I tell you?
About a half hour ago.
Now!
Moon, shoot back.
Yessum, this is mighty strange stuff.
Miriam dropped the lantern
in some the other night,
and the whole farm
near went up in flames.
- Burned half the hair off my head.
- It stunk for two weeks.
The railroad has no use for it.
So I thought I'd take these
samples East and maybe sell it.
What do you think, Miss Julia?
I'm sorry, Mr Standard. I
didn't hear what you said.
Drop that gun.
Hold it there!
Hold it there!
All right, stay calm.
All right. Step down, Julia.
That sonofabitch can shoot.
He rode with Quantrill.
Come on. You've run far enough.
Come on, now. I'm losing my patience.
- You ain't taking my gold!
- Hey, they discovered gold!
No, they just had too much bug juice.
You didn't even write
a note when you left.
What was I meant to write,
"Good luck Henry and Hermine"?
I was gonna explain everything...
Are you gonna rob this stage or not?
Burn the breeze, Kyle, or I'll
blow everybody into feathers.
We don't desert our
women out here, Mr Moon.
It's all right, Sheriff. You go on
ahead. He's just trying to impress me.
Are you sure, Julia?
Well... you two try
and get along, then.
We all had to.
My heart froze when I came
home and you was gone, honey.
Let me help you up with it.
I'm not sure I'll ever
get used to Mexico.
Why, sure you will, honey pie.
You got used to me, didn't you?
Anyways...
...first, let's get
used to being rich.
Get in there.
Viva Mxico!
Viva Mxico!
This here's Mexican
dirt. You can't touch me.
Thought you'd get me?
You're a disgrace to the Confederacy.
Speed, this ain't no time
to let me down. Get up!
This is Mexican territory.
He gets across the river
and his horse faints on him!
This ain't fair, goddamn
it. This ain't fair.
This ain't fair.
Good Lord. They're
stringing up old Speed.
I have here a very fine animal
once owned by the hombre
we're about to hang.
What am I offered?
Hey! I still own that horse.
When we want to hear from you,
amigo, we'll rattle your cage.
Ain't that the horse that fainted?
Yeah, he fainted. But
he got up, didn't he?
What?
What?
Towfield, I said keep
these buzzards out.
Take it easy, Moon. You're lucky
you're getting a decent hanging.
I'd have done it out
there on a scrub oak.
Goddamn vultures hanging
around here all morning.
They just want to see
the man of the hour.
Well, I'm flattered as hell.
You're a real card,
Moon. I'm gonna miss you.
Your family's here. Make it short.
Boys!
Brother Abe, Jimmy,
Gussy and everybody.
Dumb-ass deputy. He thought
you were really my family.
So I figured...
You look pretty as a painting, honey.
- How ya doin', Henry?
- Well...
...roll it out.
- Nothing like that, Henry.
- We just come to see you off.
See me off?
Doesn't look like you did
too good on your own, Henry.
You should've stuck with us.
We was going places, goddamn it.
What do you mean, "was"?
All you gotta do is spring me.
If we tried anything,
we'd only get shot.
Yeah, but that's without my plan.
Cut that out.
Big Abe, they're gonna
send me to the bone orchard.
If you got anything you want to
give away, Henry, now's the time.
Say your goodbyes, boys.
- Nice knowing you.
- Yeah, Coogan, sure.
It just ain't right. Just for cutting
a few horses and robbing a few banks.
The law's gotta be changed, Henry.
Go on outside.
So long, Moon.
Adios.
Well, honey, at least we had
some good old times together.
You was the best I ever had.
Except maybe that circus fella.
- Why does that always upset you?
- Why bring that up now, Hermine?
- Shit!
- Oh, Henry.
Don't worry, Moon.
I'm gonna take care of this
girl like she's my very own.
- Come on, honey.
- Oh, Henry.
Mr Moon?
It's about that time.
- What about my last meal?
- You're smoking it.
Hands behind your back, Mr Moon.
He ain't for you.
I wouldn't take you to a dog fight
if you was the defending champ.
You oughtn't to have
done that, Mr Moon.
Well, why don't you
keep me in jail for it?
- You tell him about the ordinance?
- No.
Why not?
People I don't like,
I don't tell nothing.
- Goddamn it, Towfield.
- What ordinance?
- What ordinance, Sheriff Pile?
- Kyle.
We got this ordinance here,
passed after the Civil War,
because a lot of our
boys didn't come home
and the women was
chewing up the grass.
- I feel sorry for the grass.
- I feel sorry for the women.
This ordinance says any
man, short of a murderer,
can be saved from the gallows
by any property-holding female,
providing she decides to marry him.
They done that in Roman
times, as I recall.
Sweet Jesus H Christ
Almighty! Ma'am! Ma'am!
There's a couple of things about
me that I'd like you to consider.
- I don't need your insults.
- I agree completely.
But you've gotta take into
consideration that a man...
...can get a little irritated...
...and act like the dickens
when he's about to die.
- Buzzards, huh?
- Well, buzzards can fly.
And they keep the
desert clean. I cook.
I cook like a sonofabitch.
I mean like the dickens.
- Hello, son.
- Go to hell.
I understand.
Henry Lloyd Moon,
you've been found guilty of horse
thievery and sentenced to be hanged.
Do you have any final last words?
Just this:
I wanna tell you good
people of Longhorn,
especially you lovely ladies,
that the old saying, "You can't
judge a book by its cover",
it's true.
Some books are all
scruffed up on the outside,
but when you turn around
and look inside, why,
the words is just wonderful.
Is that it, Moon?
Isn't there anybody
else got anything to say?
"The Lord is my Shepherd,
I shall not want.
"He maketh me to lie
down in green pastures.
"He leadeth me beside
the still waters.
"He restoreth my soul."
That's not right.
"The Lord is my Shepherd,
I shall not want.
"He maketh me to lie
down in green pastures.
"He restoreth my soul.
"He leadeth me beside
the still waters.
"Yea, though I walk
through the valley..."
I'm a veteran of the great Civil War.
The only reason why I turned to
crime was there wasn't no jobs.
Not one single job for a
man who risked his life...
...for his country.
In the Confederacy!
This one's dumb, he'll swing for sure.
He's better off.
"And I will dwell in the
house of the Lord forever."
Bullshit!
Ready to go.
Stop!
I'll take him.
Florence! Now...
Don't you think that you're...
...a mite too elderly to take
on a responsibility like this?
I've got a good feeling
about him, Andrew.
The boy's a veteran. He
deserves a second chance.
Somebody take this
son-bitchin' blindfold off me
and let me see my bride.
Where is she?
Florence!
Florence!
Mrs Henry Moon.
Let me look at you.
- Stand back, folks.
- Florence!
Stand back, please.
Just ain't your day.
Maybe she just fainted.
- I made her dizzy.
- Down she go, up you go.
Is she dead?
Then I'll take him.
Julia, what are you
saying? He's an outlaw.
I assumed that's why
you're hanging him.
Are you drunk?
Sheriff, you know I don't drink.
'Course she don't drink.
You want him?
The law says I can claim him, right?
I asked you out ten times. What did
I get? A flap of your umbrella. Shit!
All right.
OK, Julia.
Mr Moon, what do you say?
I ain't no side of beef
to be auctioned off, but...
...hell, fine by me.
Well, I think I'll skip the wedding.
I ain't taking Frank
Towfield's business tonight.
Somebody's taking his business,
or we ain't got no business.
Now, Mr Moon: No
drinking, no gambling,
no wife-beating, no
alley-cattin' and what have you.
You've got to mind her.
If you try running, there'll
be $500 on your head.
Well, gentlemen, much
obliged to you. Much obliged.
Shall I take the reins, dear?
Adios!
See, I told you he had a plan.
You can dance in the air, you
sonofabitch. Stealing my girl.
Miss, in case you want to
know who you're dealing with...
...I used to ride with
Quantrill's Raiders.
You always this quiet?
When I have something
to say, you'll hear it.
Well, look, I can get off right
here as far as I'm concerned.
Of course, a good
husband's hard to find.
You weren't hard to find, standing
there with a rope around your neck.
Yeah. You sure are a smart woman.
I like smart women.
Sure you do.
Who's that?
One of the reasons we got married.
Hey, Rover.
That's Grover.
This is where I live.
Well, Julia. It ain't
much, but it's a start.
Guess I don't get to carry
you across the threshold.
Wipe your feet, please.
Always do.
Well... it looks like the opera house.
Please take your clothes off, Mr Moon.
Don't sit there.
Here, put these on.
These is work clothes.
That's right.
But I just got married.
Don't count on that too much.
This is a gold mine? In Texas?
It's gonna be.
Looks like mice bit into it.
First you'll begin crevassing,
then cross-cut using the
singular jacking method.
I ain't familiar with
that particular method.
You pry away any loose rocks.
Are you watching?
Then you insert the drill.
Like this.
Then you use the sledgehammer.
Simple.
Where's the gloves?
My hands blister easy.
Better blisters than neck burns.
Mr Moon...
Pretend we're friends
and call me Henry.
The railroad is breathing down my
neck, so let's not waste any more time.
I'll do all I can do, but...
...that's all I can do.
I'll be outside running
auriferous tests.
Why don't you run one on
your skull while you're at it?
Supper's ready.
I don't believe in
wasting time at the table.
How'd you come into this place?
It was my father's.
Did he believe in this gold mine?
He believed, but not enough.
Sounds like he was the
brains in the family.
Boiled chicken?
Boiled is better for you.
How's about a little dessert?
I said, how's about a little dessert?
- I heard you the first time.
- You didn't answer me the first time.
Can I ask you a personal question?
When was the last time you had a man?
I hope you don't mind confined
spaces, tomorrow we start tunnelling.
Goddamn, I should've known.
You can always tell a virgin because
the whites of the eyes ain't clear.
I got this theory on
virgins, that they...
...always look peaked and grouchy
because they're going against nature.
I don't want to get calluses
patting myself on the back, but...
...in my time I have put a
gal or two in tune with nature.
I'm sure nature is very grateful.
Listen to me.
Don't let starting
late bother you none.
Some of them late bloomers is...
I'll be outside in the barn if
you feel like getting acquainted,
or talking about tunnelling.
And remember, nature
is the great provider.
Goddamn.
Well, good morning, Spot.
Could use some bacon...
Morning, miss. What's for breakfast?
Conserve your energy.
There's a lot of work to do.
Don't you worry about me,
I know how to pace myself.
If I want to...
...I can do this all day long.
I'm talking about all day long.
Pace myself.
Where are you going?
I wanna...
...take a little Spanish pause.
That's one of the keys
to pacing yourself.
You just go on trimming your wicks.
I can do this all day long.
I'm talking about all day long.
All day long.
Hey, lady!
Understand?
She sure is full of piss
and vinegar today, ain't she?
A lot of literature on Philadelphia.
What's the fascination with
the city of motherly love?
Brotherly.
I'm moving there.
- To Philadelphia?
- Just as soon as I strike gold.
I like it down there in Mexico.
Pace suits me better.
Slow days and fast nights.
What a pleasant surprise.
We saw lights and felt
we weren't intruding.
Oh, Laurette, you're never intruding.
You all remember my husband, Henry.
Welcome to our humble abode.
We brought a little wedding something.
Oh, you shouldn't have.
How pretty.
We was just saying how
much we needed a figurine.
- I'll get us some tea.
- Shall I help?
We'll help.
Don't be long now.
We felt you'd be needing someone
to talk to. Especially now.
What Laurette is trying to say
is that we all have so
much in common these days.
We do?
We're all ordinance brides.
Oh.
Since you've never
been married before,
we all thought we should
have a little chat.
Do you prefer orange
pekoe or lapsang oolong?
You see, a husband has certain rights.
And a wife has certain duties.
And that's where the trouble starts.
Speak for yourself, Laurette.
You know, I rode with Quantrill. Finest
revolver gang in history, till he died.
Quantrill died?
Last year.
That Shorty, he don't even
ask. He just goes right to it.
Those outlaws just don't know
how to take "no" for an answer.
Whitey is so funny.
Why, last night he got all
painted up like an Indian.
And did he go on the warpath!
Say, want to have yourself
a really wild time?
Why not dress up like an Indian?
That sounds like it oughta
be Julia's cup of tea.
I guess I'll go on out and
see how the squaws are doing.
I suppose what we're
trying to say, Julia, is
it's not as much of a
chore as you may have heard.
But, if it should become one,
I have found that the best thing to do
is just think about canning apricots.
Apricots?
Well, for some reason,
apricots just seem to work best.
How are we doing, ladies?
Bye.
- Thank you for the lovely gift.
- Let's do it again real soon.
Nice folks.
They seem content.
Well...
...you know what they say:
"Lady love an outlaw like a
little boy love a stray dog."
We still haven't
cleaned up that table.
You know, I was thinking
about them chairs of yours.
Picking them up, setting them down
through the air. Why, it's poetry.
Think I'm getting a headache.
Pretty soon, all over America,
people's gonna be picking up
chairs and setting them down.
It's gonna be all your doing.
Julia...
...what do you say we try
canning some of them apricots?
"It would be like a
man hauling with one ox
"and looking for two, hoping
for the help of the Lord.
"Why not get rid of all the oxen
"and count on the Maker all the way?"
Very good.
- I look forward to hearing it
on Sunday. - Thank you.
Morning, ladies!
I sure did enjoy them
canned apricots last night.
Julia!
What the hell was that supposed to be?
A joke?
No. You don't understand. A joke
is when you make somebody laugh.
Miss Tate. Please
step into the office.
It's Mrs Moon.
Excuse me. Miss Tate...
- Why, you...
- Henry.
I believe this is between
Mr Polty and myself.
Hey, Moon! It looks like
the honeymoon is over.
What's the matter, Moon? You
look like a dog without a bone.
- Hey, Hector.
- Si.
Why don't you go to the
Mexican side of town,
see what the beans is jumping on?
- Beans?
- Beans.
You know, Polty's just
another word for chicken.
Good one, Towfield.
- Who thought it up for you?
- Let's go chew the fat.
What for?
'Cause I'm in a good mood.
Well, how's about a little snort?
Hey, Peachy.
Bottle of mash and
two glasses, Norvell.
- Not for him.
- What do you mean?
- Sheriff's orders.
- Sheriff didn't tell me.
You don't tell him nothing,
so he don't tell you nothing.
Them's the breaks!
You know, I owe you a special thanks.
What for?
What for? Hell, if you hadn't jerked
me back across the border to the...
...just desserts, so to speak, why...
...I'd never have
been married to Julia.
Thinking on it that way, why...
...you sorta introduced us.
Yeah, Towfield... things is good.
You heard about matches
made in heaven, didn't you?
- Well, I'm in one of 'em.
- Goddamn it, Moon! You stole my girl.
Take it easy, Towfield. You're
wrinkling my good luck bandanna.
How's this?
You give me the bottle and
I'll tell you the truth.
You mean you was just japin' me?
She puts chairs up on the wall
so people can't sit on them.
What?
I can't go into it,
Towfield, it's over your head.
But it's bad, huh?
Like eggs rolled in sand.
Duck out back for a snort.
Listen, amigo, don't
ever call me a bean again.
What the hell was that?
Bye, Moon.
This is as hard for
me as it is for you.
A year ago last Christmas Eve,
I had to move 150 Comanche souls
off their sacred burial ground.
I know exactly how they felt.
What's the matter, honey? You
look whiter than an albino.
You been bothering my wife?
We have 30 days to vacate.
- What?
- This doesn't concern you.
If it concerns her, it does me.
The railroad's taking over
my land under eminent domain.
Eminent domain. Ain't that where
somebody bribes the state legislature
to take away some poor folks' land?
- I won't dignify that with an answer.
- I ain't asking for no dignification.
But I do find it interesting
that you prefer doing business
with the lady of the house.
Come on, Moon.
I'm sorry, Julia, but unless
I am advised otherwise,
I'll be out to survey.
You know...
...Polty's just another
way of saying chicken.
Whoa, William.
They may be bold maids till they die
Oh, yes.
Mother says I mustn't Oh, George,
please George, not just yet
Oh, yes. Swim, swim.
Be naked.
Oh, yes.
Oh, I love you.
Who's there? What are you doing?
Oh, Julia. I was just
out here surveying.
You liar! You were spying on me.
Me? I never would do such a thing.
Help!
Julia. I swear on my honour.
I didn't see a thing.
It's not what you think.
- You old...
- What's going on here?
- Nothing.
- Are you bothering my wife again?
I was out surveying. There's my
equipment. My tripod, my maps...
Caught you, didn't I?
I swear, no. I wasn't doing anything.
Then, apologise.
- I apologise.
- All right.
Now eminent domain
your ass outta here!
Ooh, nasty!
What's the matter?
Nothing.
Why'd you stop laughing?
I don't know. Get to work.
I'd rather laugh.
- That's all you like to do.
- No. That ain't all I like to do.
No, Moon.
Ooh, nasty!
Damn.
- It's northern.
- Yeah.
Did you get stung?
Yes.
Did you?
Where?
Outlaws don't know how to
take "no" for an answer.
What are you doing down there?
What are you doing down there?
What am I doing? I guess I was
dreaming about tunnelling or something.
Out! You got me drunk,
I don't remember a thing.
- I didn't get you drunk.
- I will not have such talk here.
You tricked me!
I didn't trick you.
Get your clothes and get
up, there's work to do.
Oh, I get it.
You're so afraid
you're gonna like that,
that you'll forget the
gold and Philadelphia.
Get your clothes and get out of here.
Sonofabitch!
I was right. All these years!
Them painted ladies knows
how to appreciate a man.
They don't got unnatural
questions. "How did it feel?"
Dammit. I feel sorry for the poor
sonofabitch that winds up with you.
Nice being married to you!
You haven't got a plug nickel.
You haven't even got a gun.
You won't get 20 miles before a
posse'll get you and string you up.
I only slept with you
so you'd keep on working.
I hope they hang you.
Not the curtain.
You wouldn't dare.
Well...
...I hadn't thought of
it, but now you mention it,
up in San Francisco I seen some
Chinese that done it this way.
The Chinese is an old civilisation.
They understand things about pleasure
that I've never even thought of.
One thing's for sure: We
ain't had a boring marriage.
Deputy, how can you
do a thing like this?
- But 15 days? That's not fair.
- Tell it to the railroad.
- We've been here since '43.
- Them's the breaks.
Damn worthless black goo.
I was just going into town to...
buy an animal.
Now, gentlemen, let's not
have no misunderstandings.
Me and the little woman
haven't been getting along.
Don't go in there!
Where's the doctor?
What's the matter? Where's the doctor?
The doctor... Oh, yeah...
I never got there.
This pea-brain grabbed me
and stuck me in a wagon.
It would've broke
your heart to see it.
- You never told me about no doctor.
- You never asked.
Is something wrong, Julia?
- Female trouble.
- Oh, the vapours.
- I'd better put you to bed, darling.
- I just got out of bed, darling.
What the hell d'you pick
him up for, Towfield?
- He was dressed like a Mexican.
- That's not illegal.
I told him.
Well...
Let's leave these two lovebirds alone.
I told him.
I told you but no, you wouldn't...
You missed me, didn't you?
I did not!
I can see it. Them eyes
ain't angry. They're relieved.
And they ain't bloodshot.
- I wanted you back to work the mine.
- No.
You missed Old Man in the Moon.
Hell, I got my faults,
I admit it, but...
Hell, I got my ways, too.
I missed you a little bit, too.
I did.
When I was heading for the
border, I couldn't stop thinking
that nobody's ever
saved my life before.
I just couldn't leave you in
your time of need... of me.
It's been quite a day.
I'm a bit tuckered out. I
think I'll take a poco siesta.
Oh, you don't have
to sleep in the barn.
You can sleep on the couch.
Say when.
When.
Rats.
That's it for me.
I'm too young to die.
You don't understand.
I understand about dreams.
I understand about waking up, too.
I wanted to ride with the Younger
Gang, they wouldn't have me.
Claimed I wasn't cut
out to be a Younger.
My feelings was hurt,
but I accepted it.
You know, for an outlaw you've
been a pretty good friend.
What's the matter?
Gold!
Good Lord Almighty, I found gold!
Watch out.
Don't knock into none of these beams.
I know it's around here
somewhere. I can feel it.
I don't see nothing.
It's here. Believe me, it's here.
Goddamn!
Oh, goddamn! Look at that, gold.
- It's all over everything.
- Moon, I told you. Didn't I tell you?
Honey, kiss me. I'm rich.
Goddamn, I am rich!
You wait long enough,
and pretty soon down it's
gonna come right on you.
Like a wall full of Mexican teeth.
You know...
I'm gonna get my initials
put on my saddle in gold.
They like it that way
down there in Mexico.
All we gotta do now is deposit this
first bunch in the bank and then...
We? What do you mean, we?
Just that, in all fairness, I
played a part in striking the gold.
You never believed it existed.
But you'd've never struck it
if it wasn't for me. Correcto?
So?
So, where's my share of the stake?
You're right.
I'll give you ten percent.
You don't understand. You see,
sharing is giving to each other.
Fifty percent.
We'll talk about it later.
All right, all right.
Twenty-five percent and we can
stop this conversation right here.
Must be funny depositing
something in a bank, huh, Moon?
Yeah, it's a whole
new experience for me.
We're sorry to have
you and Miriam leave us.
Thank you.
What with the railroad and this
black stuff springing up everywhere,
a man just can't grow
a decent ear of corn.
Awful heavy for figurines.
It's my whole collection.
- I'll guard it with my life.
- You can do better than that, Whitey.
- Henry Lloyd Moon in the bank.
- Want one of these?
Sure.
Goddamn it. I like being rich.
Maybe now you can buy your
way into the Younger Gang.
Darling...
I think I'll buy me a little
cantina south of the border.
Time to start living the good life.
Goddamn it, honey.
I'm gonna be a patrn.
Tequila, cards, seoritas.
Hey, wait till the Dominguine
sisters get a load of me!
Don't do that, you're acting foolish.
Maybe you oughta try it.
You want to see something foolish?
That's foolish.
Fifty percent?
You're gonna give me fifty percent?
We're partners, aren't we?
Well, if you're gonna
put it that way, yeah.
I don't know how to say this, Henry.
But...
...I think I got...
...greedy and selfish
living alone so long.
Well...
...that's how you get.
Once you get started...
...you don't hardly
ever get out of it.
For calling me Henry.
- Friends of yours?
- Used to be.
- What are they doing here?
- Good question.
Well...
Sorry to keep you waiting, but...
...me and the missus was playing fish.
Thought we'd stop by and
bring you a little shivaree.
- Did you?
- Since we ain't been formally invited.
Well, me and Julia was just
saying the other day how we was...
...gonna have you all out.
You sure got your wish,
didn't you?
I damn sure did.
- Ain't you gonna ask us in, Henry?
- Why, sure, honey pie.
- Don't you know how to wipe your feet?
- Hey, old Coogan. Wipe your feet off.
Hope you like taffy.
It was my idea.
Thank you.
They call me Big Abe.
Ol' Henry still snore in his sleep?
I want them out of here.
- Not as much as I do.
- Moon!
You want them to find
out about the dust?
Well...
Anybody hungry?
Hungry? Shit, I could
eat a frozen dog.
Well, we'll go to the kitchen and
see if we've got one already froze.
I wouldn't eat no frozen dog.
A feast fit for a king.
That's his speciality. Them
pork bellies make it tasty.
Did you know Henry used
to cook for the Raiders?
He cooked for Quantrill's
Raiders? No, he never told me that.
I bet there's a lot he never told you.
Shit!
Goddamn, Abe. There's ladies present.
Easy, you'll loosen my molar up.
Just play along a little while longer.
You go, I don't want
to spoil your fun.
I ain't having a
good time, I swear it.
Just trying to throw them off the track.
Wouldn't be me if I wasn't acting wild.
Forget about all this and go and
have a good time. Act foolish.
Shit.
This ain't no real marriage.
Come on. Meet me tonight, huh?
I'll give you my old coyote call.
Remember?
Not now.
Anybody seen my goddamn molar?
No.
But if I do, can I put it under
my pillow for the tooth fairy?
You won't get nothing for it.
Come on boys, let's help Big
Abe find his goddamn molar.
Wait, I have a better idea.
Moon...
...let's go and buy Big Abe a
whole goddamn set of gold teeth.
You'll ruin everything,
acting like a fool.
I don't give a goddamn what
anybody says, I'm a gentleman.
And I'm not gonna
throw up in this house,
I'm going outside to throw up,
'cause I respect your house.
Big Abe, you can throw up
in this house any old time.
Goddamn gold, that sonofabitch
is keeping gold from us.
Got no money! Sonofabitch!
You almost spilled the beans.
Come on and help me
find Big Abe's molar.
Didn't I tell you to watch what you
was doing? You don't understand outlaws.
I understood you when you
told me to act foolish.
I didn't tell you to get
drunk and sing your head off.
- Hog liked my singing.
- That's why they call him Hog!
Damn, Hermine!
Quit that goddamn
coyote calling, I'm here.
You're wife's acting
terrible, ain't she?
No, she's just had a
little too much bug juice.
Now I figure you ain't had
much of anything in a long time.
How come you and the boys
decided to stop by tonight?
I wanna make it real
good for you, Henry.
Hermine, you ain't
hearing my question. God!
- What was it?
- I don't wanna hurt your feelings.
I appreciate the coyote calling
and all, but...
...I told you, things have changed.
Crawl in, Henry, and see what I got.
You ain't hearing me.
I seen what you got.
It was swell. We had some times
together I'll never forget.
But Hermine, now I'm took.
Hold it. That's enough.
- Don't shoot.
- Vamoose.
If I was monkeying around,
would I still have my clothes on?
Then why'd you go out there?
Don't make no difference.
No matter what I say,
you won't believe me.
Go ahead.
Well, I was just trying to
get information off of Hermine.
That wasn't all you
wanted to get off of her.
All I wanted to know is if they
knew anything about the gold.
You care more about
the gold than about me.
That ain't true.
I could've done what you
think I done, but I didn't.
I don't believe you.
I was there strictly on business.
You want that woman! Take
her, but forget about the gold.
People can't afford business
partners that cheat on them.
- We made an agreement.
- And I'm breaking it.
- You can't do that to me.
- I just did.
That tears it. Gotta put the
old double X to Henry Moon, huh?
Well, we'll see.
Now, you want your gun back, Moon?
Where's the goddamn gold?
- What gold?
- That gold right there, where is it?
You aren't quite as ignorant
as you look. Come on in.
- How much we got here?
- Enough.
Actually, I was just
coming looking for you boys.
Sure you was.
We're gonna hit the Longhorn bank.
There ain't nothing in that
chickenfeed bank but sun-filled windows.
- And all the little lady's gold.
- Let's hit her in the morning.
- Not yet.
- You got a plan?
I'm gonna make that woman
sorry she ever said, "I do."
- He's hiding something.
- I don't think so.
- I know so.
- I knew he had a plan.
Me, too, but I don't
know if we're in on it.
- Let's keep a watch on him.
- Come on, gang.
You better take a rest
before your arm falls off.
You want some water?
Are you always this quiet?
I got nothing to say.
I keep my word.
Honey?
Honey, are you all right? Goddamn.
- Are you all right?
- Yes.
Watch it. That's it, all right.
- Can you stand there?
- Yes.
OK, there's a light.
- You all right?
- Well, I been better.
It's all right, nothing's
gonna happen to you.
Here, hold this. You stay right here.
When I get back, we'll
take a little Spanish pause.
Now...
Henry Lloyd?
What?
Nothing.
I'm sorry about last night.
I know it doesn't matter, but...
...if we're going to die,
I want it to be as partners.
Fifty-fifty.
We was a good team.
Good? Shit, we were the best.
- Honey pie.
- Moon...
...I been thinking, since
we're gonna go anyway,
why don't we go out
in a blaze of glory?
Tie me up.
We're alive!
- I been watching you, Henry.
- Figured.
Ain't you up a little early?
We don't hit the bank till ten.
There's been a little change in plans.
I gotta tell Big Abe.
You gotta do what you gotta do.
I'll never forget you, Hermine.
You was the first woman I
didn't have to pay for. Adios.
- You're a mite early, compadre.
- I wanna make a withdrawal.
Your wife will have to do that. Us
ordinance husbands aren't allowed to.
- Besides, we're closed.
- You're open now.
Open it up.
Over there.
Hurry up, buddy.
Cover that up.
I never thought you'd
do this to Julia.
It's the only way to
save my marriage, Whitey.
Grover, where's Julia?
Damn.
Rocks.
Damn, honey pie.
Reach, Moon.
Mr Moon, you're still here.
Where's Julia?
Guess he ain't heard the news.
- What news?
- Your wife sold up to the railroad.
Gentlemen, start
tagging the furniture.
- When?
- Does that concern you now?
Where is she?
I believe on her way to Philadelphia.
And you're going to meet Saint Peter.
That's right, Moon. You're
going to meet seor Peter.
- We know you got it.
- I ain't got nothing.
We don't believe you.
- Ain't got what? Who's
that? - The ex-Moon Gang.
They picked the wrong
hombres to mess with.
Watch it, Big Abe.
OK. One, two, three!
- When did she leave?
- Why should I tell you?
About a half hour ago.
Now!
Moon, shoot back.
Yessum, this is mighty strange stuff.
Miriam dropped the lantern
in some the other night,
and the whole farm
near went up in flames.
- Burned half the hair off my head.
- It stunk for two weeks.
The railroad has no use for it.
So I thought I'd take these
samples East and maybe sell it.
What do you think, Miss Julia?
I'm sorry, Mr Standard. I
didn't hear what you said.
Drop that gun.
Hold it there!
Hold it there!
All right, stay calm.
All right. Step down, Julia.
That sonofabitch can shoot.
He rode with Quantrill.
Come on. You've run far enough.
Come on, now. I'm losing my patience.
- You ain't taking my gold!
- Hey, they discovered gold!
No, they just had too much bug juice.
You didn't even write
a note when you left.
What was I meant to write,
"Good luck Henry and Hermine"?
I was gonna explain everything...
Are you gonna rob this stage or not?
Burn the breeze, Kyle, or I'll
blow everybody into feathers.
We don't desert our
women out here, Mr Moon.
It's all right, Sheriff. You go on
ahead. He's just trying to impress me.
Are you sure, Julia?
Well... you two try
and get along, then.
We all had to.
My heart froze when I came
home and you was gone, honey.
Let me help you up with it.
I'm not sure I'll ever
get used to Mexico.
Why, sure you will, honey pie.
You got used to me, didn't you?
Anyways...
...first, let's get
used to being rich.