Happiness (1998) Movie Script
Andy?
Are you okay?
Yes.
Sure. I'm fine.
Good.
Well, I had a really nice time.
Yeah. Me, too.
Of course, you know I've always
had a really nice time with you.
Same here.
But...
Yeah?
- You understand?
- Uh-huh.
Well, the food here
was excellent.
I'm gonna recommend it
to my sisters.
How many stars did it get?
Three and a half.
- ( begins to sob )
- Oh...
( coughing )
Do you feel better now?
- Me, too.
- Sorry.
It's really...
It's good we had this talk.
Yeah.
Before things went too far,
you know?
- Got too serious.
- Yeah.
( mumbling )
- Are you sure?
- Oh, yes.
Is it someone else?
No.
It's just you.
Hey, I want to show you
something I got you.
- For me?
- Here, open it up.
But, Andy...
This is...
Oh...
Oh, this is beautiful.
Thanks.
It's a Gainsevoort
reproduction.
Boston, late 188O's.
I sent away for it right after
we had our...
...first date.
Oh, I just love it.
It's...
( sighs )
It's a collector's item.
Yeah.
It is pretty special.
( sighs deeply )
It almost makes me want
to learn how to smoke.
( both begin to laugh )
Hey, look at the back.
( gasps )
Uhh.
That's a forty-karat,
gold plated,
inlaid base.
Oh, Andy, I just love it.
It's...
this really means
something to me.
I'll always treasure it
as... a token.
No you won't.
'Cause this is for the girl
who loves me.
The girl who cares about me,
for who I am.
Not what I look like.
I just wanted you to know
what you'd be missing.
You think I don't
appreciate art.
You think I don't understand
fashion.
You think I'm not hip.
You think I'm pathetic.
A nerd.
A lard-ass fatso.
You think I'm shit.
Well, you're wrong.
'Cause I'm champagne.
And you're shit!
And till the day you die...
you...
not me...
will always be shit.
I dunno...
but whenever I see her,
I just wanna...
you know, I wanna...
undress her...
I wanna tie her up.
I wanna pump her...
pump, pump, pump,
till she screams bloody murder.
And then I wanna...
flip her ass over
and pump her even more.
And so hard that my dick
shoots right through her.
And that my...
come squirts out her mouth.
And not that I could ever...
...actually do that.
See...
if she only knew how I felt.
Deep down I really
cared for her...
respected her...
she would love me back.
Maybe.
Oh, she doesn't
even know I exist.
I mean, she knows I exist...
I mean we are neighbors,
you know, we...
you know, smile politely
at each other, but...
I don't know if I could ever
really begin to talk to her,
I mean, what could I talk
about?
I have nothing to talk about,
I'm boring.
That I know.
I've been told before,
so don't tell me it's not true.
'Cause it's a fact.
I bore people.
People look at me
and they get bored.
People listen to me
and they zone out...
...bored.
Who is that boring person?
They think...
"I have never before met
anyone so boring."
And for her to
see how boring I am...
( to himself )
A gallon of skim milk.
A dozen eggs...
...one of those disposable
cameras for the weekend.
Stop at the 7-11
on the way home...
I got to get the
dry cleaning, for Trish.
I've got to check Billy's
homework...
and call Mrs. Mitchell about
her appointment on Tuesday...
reschedule the dentist.
But do you know what
I'm gonna do?
( Bill to himself )
I gotta get the dog cleaned...
The next time I see her...
as soon as I see her...
I'm just gonna tell her...
I'm gonna tell
her that l, uh...
find her...
...attractive.
Good evening, Miss Jordan.
( nervously )
How, how's it going?
Okay.
( elevator door opens )
- See ya.
- Yeah.
( phone beeps - dial tone )
( mumbling )
I'm gonna fuck you so hard,
you'll be coming out
of your ears.
Fuck you...
( dialing beeps )
( ringing )
- Man: Yeah?
- ( clicks phone off )
No, fuck you.
I'll fuck you.
I'll fuck you...
...really hard.
So hard you won't even...
( ringing )
Woman: Hello?
Hello, is this Claire?
- Woman: Who is this?
- ( clicks phone off )
- ( screams )
- Die, Aunt Joy! Die!
- Timmy!
- It's okay, Trish.
He's just going through a
phase. Leave him alone.
- I know, but...
- It's okay. I'm strong enough.
- ( begins to sob )
- I blame it on cartoons,
they are so full of violence.
What's with the people
that are making cartoons.
That's what you have to--
Joy?
- ( sobbing )
- Joy, what's the matter?
I don't know what it is,
but I feel there's so much...
hostility directed at me.
Honey, did another guy
dump you?
No, l--
I just feel terrible.
Aww, Sweetie.
Timmy didn't mean it.
I know, I know.
I'm sorry, I just...
I'm overworked, that's all.
It's okay.
It's okay, 'cause now
maybe you'll listen to me.
What?
- You have got to eat red meat.
- Oh, Trish.
I knew that's how you'd react,
but I'm telling you, it's true.
I've been watching you.
My doctor says just once
a month.
I know.
Really. It's the best thing
for the skin.
- It'll clear it right up.
- What's wrong with my skin?
Well it's fine now, but...
in another few years...
Please, Joy.
You know I'm just speaking
to you for your own good.
I know. I know.
Thanks.
- I'm so happy.
- You are?
Yeah. I mean being
around you and the kids
and you know, Kooki.
- You really are?
- Yeah.
Oh, honey,
I'm so happy you're happy.
'Cause all this time I've been
thinking you were so miserable.
Oh, Trish. That's too funny,
when I couldn't be happier.
You know, it's just with your
music career--
Oh, my career's fine.
Oh, I know. I know, it will be.
I just know it.
And then you'll move out
of mom and dad's.
- Real soon.
- And you'll meet Mr. Right.
Oh, I will.
Already I feel I'm off
to a fresh start.
That's right. Just because
you hit thirty
doesn't mean you can't be
fresh anymore.
You know Joy, I've never told
you this before...
but now that we're older,
and...
I feel so bonded to you.
Well, the truth is...
I know this is
gonna sound horrible...
but I feel I have to be
open with you,
and get beyond
all the barriers,
and the sibling nonsense.
The truth is I always thought
you'd never amount to much.
That you would end up alone,
without a career.
It's what we all thought.
Mom, Dad, Helen...
...everyone.
I always prayed we'd all
be wrong, but,
somehow you always seemed
so doomed to failure.
But now I see that's not true.
There's a glimmer of hope
for you after all.
I'm sorry, I'm repeating
myself.
I'm just really happy for you.
( both sigh )
( screaming - hollering
in panic )
( gunfire continues )
Psychiatrist:
And how is this different?
I don't kill myself at the end.
Do you see this
as something positive?
Gee, well...
I don't know.
How do you feel at the end?
Much better.
I wake up happy...
feeling good...
but then I'll get depressed
because I'm living in reality.
What about your family?
Trish is good to me.
But, still no sex.
No...
but, she's not too interested
either, so...
really there's no problem there
when you think about it...
on a certain level.
( panting )
- Hi.
- Hi, hon, how's work?
Oh, fine.
Hey, Billy.
What's going on?
Nothing.
He's depressed.
- Well is anything the matter?
- I don't want to talk about it.
Ignore him.
He just wants attention.
He thinks you'll be impressed.
So anyway, Joy came by.
- How's she doing?
- I dunno, I'm concerned.
She's not like me.
She doesn't have it all.
She pretends to be happy, but,
you can see right through her,
she's miserable.
Why do you think that?
To be frank, she's lazy.
She's not a go-getter.
She's so picky.
I gave Damien Ross her
phone number,
and Joy sounded interested,
but I dunno.
I'm afraid to say it,
but it's what I believe.
She'll always be alone.
- We're all alone.
- Oh, Bill.
Sometimes I wonder how any of
your patients can talk to you.
Sometimes I wonder
if they'll ever stop.
I should tape some for you.
Would you?
Would you really?
- So I could listen, too?
- No.
Come on, you're such a tease.
I wouldn't tell anyone.
Right. 'Cause you're
so secretive.
Maybe not as secretive as you.
What secret would you like me
to tell you?
Like how come no matter how
much you treat me like shit...
I can't help lovin' you
even more?
- Dad?
- Yes, Billy.
What does "come" mean?
"Come?"
You know...
Well, you know sometimes
your penis gets erect?
Well, sometimes it gets so
excited that a sticky,
milky substance shoots out.
Dickwad?
Yes, only "come" can be used
as a verb as well.
- Billy...
- Yeah?
Have you ever come?
Yeah.
Billy, it's all right
if you haven't.
But, I have.
- Billy?
- But...
everyone else in class
has and...
I want to come, too.
It's okay. It's okay.
Have you tried playing
with yourself?
You mean...
With your penis.
A little.
How did it feel?
I don't know.
I don't know what to do.
Do you want me to show you?
No. No.
I'm not normal.
Oh, no, Billy.
- ( Billy begins to cry )
- Don't worry, you're normal.
Hey...
you'll come one day.
You'll see.
Man:
I'm turning on the dishwasher.
- Where's my valium?
- Man: What?
Never mind.
Fuckin' asshole.
( telephone rings )
You answer it, bastard.
Man:
Mona, it's Trish.
- Hi, Trish.
- Hi, mom. How are you?
Oh, I'm fine.
How are you?
- Trish: Fine.
- Good.
Trish: Did you watch
Leno last night?
Mom?
( begins to sob )
He's leaving me.
Your father's leaving me.
Mom, what are
you talking about?
Trish, can you keep
this top secret?
Yes. Yes of course I can, mom.
He says...
He says he doesn't love
me anymore.
- I'm sure he doesn't mean it.
- He does fucking mean it.
He wants a divorce.
He said the word "divorce"?
What? You don't believe me?
- You talk to him, okay? Lenny?
- Yeah.
It's Trish, she wants
to talk to you.
- Yeah, Trish?
- Is it true what mom said?
- What?
- You want a divorce?
Mona, what are you telling
the kids?
She'll call you back.
Did I use the word "divorce"?
You... You said you didn't want
to live with me.
Answer the question,
did I use the word "divorce"?
You said that you didn't
love me.
Did I use the word "divorce"?
No.
Good.
I just wanted to make that clear.
Now sit down next to me.
Come on.
Sit down.
( shouts )
Sit down!
( sighs deeply )
Lenny, why?
I don't know.
I just want to be alone.
I can let you be alone more
if that's what you want.
It's not that.
Things change...
People change.
I want out.
It's Diane, isn't it?
Diane?
You're in love with Diane
Freed.
Oh, get outta here. Please.
You're in love with someone.
It's someone younger probably.
- Wrong.
- Lenny...
it's okay, I'm not dumb.
Things happen.
I'll get over it.
I wish you had done this
twenty years ago.
Now I'll have to get another
fucking face-lift.
I'm in love with no one.
- With no one?
- No one.
Okay, then.
Schmuck.
Woman: You know people are
always putting New Jersey down.
None of my friends can actually
believe I live here.
But that's just because
they don't get it.
I'm living in a state of irony.
Helen, are you sure you don't
want to have dinner with me tonight?
Oh, I can't.
I'm giving another reading
book-signing at Barnes Noble,
then Jamal's taking me out,
although I promised Flavio.
( sighs ) I hate Saturday
nights.
Everybody wants me, Joy,
you have no idea.
I know, it's that l,
I wrote a new song,
and I thought you'd come over,
- I could play it for you--
- Can you hold on?
I'm sorry, Joy, hold on.
- ( phone beeps )
- Hello?
Oh, Salman. Hold on one second.
( beeps )
Joy, I'm so sorry I have to
take this, it's London.
I'll talk to you soon.
Okay, bye-bye.
Bye.
( telephone rings )
Hello?
Hi. Um...
How are you?
Is this...
Damien?
Yeah. How ya doin'?
Oh, fine. Trish told me
you might be calling.
Yeah.
( chuckles ) Well, I know how
weird these things can be,
but, I've always had such faith
in Trish's judgment,
I just thought, why not?
It's not like I have a huge
social life...
I do have a social life,
it's just not huge.
- Same here.
- Really?
That's so nice to hear.
Most people seem so confident.
Yeah.
- Or they're real jerks.
- ( banging )
What are you doing?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I just trying
to thaw this steak,
and it's so hard, and I...
( laughs )
- I'm sorry.
- No, no.
Don't stop because of me.
Well, I feel I'm being so rude.
No, no, Not at all.
Well, thanks.
- Are you alone?
- Yeah I'm alone.
Nobody's listening in.
Don't worry.
God, you're just like me.
- What are you wearing?
- You mean when we go out?
Where do you want to go?
I'm pretty easy to please.
I hate getting all dressed up.
What are you wearing now?
Just a pair of jeans, why?
- Are they tight?
- Not too tight.
Actually they fit pretty good.
- But why do you want to know...?
- Not the jeans, underneath.
What are you wearing
underneath? Check.
Underneath? Well...
- Damien, underneath is just...
- ( grunts )
This isn't Damien, is it?
Are you all wet?
Is your pussy all wet?
- ( phone hangs up )
- ( moans )
( doorbell rings )
- Who is it?
- Woman: It's your neighbor, Kristina.
( door squeaks open )
Hey, what's up?
Did you hear what happened
to Pedro?
- Who's Pedro?
- You know, the night doorman.
Oh, yeah. What?
He was found bludgeoned to death
in his apartment this morning.
- Ugh.
- Yeah. And supposedly...
- ...his penis was missing.
- Ugh!
Anyway, Carla in 2B, she's
collecting money for the funeral,
you know, if you feel like it.
Apparently he had no family.
No one, no friends.
If I'd had known.
I did always say "hi," I think.
Yeah, me, too...
If it's the guy
I'm thinking of.
By the way, I have an extra ticket
to the playoffs tonight.
Maybe you want to come with me?
Hah, uh... Thanks.
I've got too much work.
I just wanted to tell you
about Pedro.
- Thanks.
- Okay. See ya.
It seems the things
I've wanted in my life
I've never had
And so it's no surprise that
living only leaves me sad
Happiness, where are you?
I've searched so long
for you
Happiness, what are you?
I haven't got a clue
Happiness, why do you
have to stay...
So far away...
From me?
When I'm in despair and life
has turned into a mess
I know I don't dare to end
my search for happiness
Happiness, where are you?
( telephone rings )
Hello?
Hello. This is detective Berman
from the County Police Department.
I'd like to speak to
Miss Joy Jordan.
- This is she.
- I'm so sorry, I've got another call.
Hello?
Yeah, lieutenant.
Hi. How ya doing?
They pronounced the guy DOA.
The door was locked from
the inside.
All the property's here,
suicide note.
Looks like a pill vodka OD,
with a bag over his head.
Yeah.
Hi, Miss Jordan, I'm back.
I'm sorry to disturb you,
Miss Jordan.
But, ah...
I'm afraid I've got some
really bad news for you
in regards
to an acquaintance of yours
by the name of Andrew
Kornbluth.
( sobbing - sniffing )
Joy...
- ( sighs )
- Are you okay?
Yeah, sure. I'm fine.
What's the matter?
( sighs - sniffs )
Andy's dead.
- Andy?
- Yeah.
Who's Andy?
You know, the guy
who used to work...
right over
there in that corner.
- You mean where Pam's sitting?
- Yeah.
Was he kind of tall
and a little hunched?
No.
He was...
a little shortish.
A little squarish.
Joy, I'm not sure.
Did he work here long?
A year, maybe a little longer.
Kay...
Kay. Kay.
Do you remember a guy named
Andy who used to work here,
over where Pam is now?
No. Why?
What happened?
- He died.
- Huh.
- Which one was he?
- I'm not sure.
Maybe Tom knows.
Tom?
I'm sorry, I don't.
But you know,
I do remember a guy, vaguely,
who worked over there...
I think.
But, I'm not really sure.
How did he die?
Yeah, Joy, how did he die?
( phone beeps )
Sales, may I help you?
- Woman: Joy Jordan?
- Yes.
This is Andy's mother.
I hope you fucking rot in hell.
Joy, was he kind of
Latino looking?
And a little acne scarred?
Oh, yeah. You know, like uh,
what's-his-name.
- The actor...
- Yeah. Sure.
That was him.
- That's it. That actor.
- What's that actor's name?
- What actor?
- It has an A in it...
it's uh, oh you know,
something, something, something.
- Oh, I know.
- I can picture his face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
( begins to sob )
Joe something.
If I go thought the alphabet,
I can usually picture their name.
It's um...
Uh, I don't know why
I suggested this place.
Joy recommended it.
Well, at least we're together.
I never get to see you,
you're so busy.
- You're so busy.
- No, you are.
- No, you are.
- No, you are.
- I guess I am.
- Me, too.
If I have to do one more
interview...
I guess it's hard, huh?
Success.
I'm just so tired of being
admired all the time.
I mean all these men,
they're...
...they're beautiful,
artistic minds,
great sex, the whole package...
...but, hollow.
You know what I mean?
I feel nobody's honest with me.
Nobody wants me...
...for me.
They're not family.
Oh, Trish I wish I had
your life.
Husband, kids, carpool.
I may have it all.
But, I wonder what my life might
have been like if I'd actually,
tried to write a novel.
I'm sure it would
have been good.
Well, maybe I will write one.
You should.
Just try.
No. I don't need that kind
of success.
Listen to us...
we who have everything
while Joy...
- ...what does she have?
- ( sighs ) You're so right.
She's just getting older.
Last night she called while
I was in bed with Huraki...
I think.
She was in tears.
- She told me she quit her job.
- Oh, God, no.
That's her lifeline.
She said she wanted to change
her life.
Do "good." Work with the poor
and the needy.
I don't get it.
Don't even try.
She doesn't understand,
she is good.
She doesn't need to do good.
What about her music career?
I don't know.
But don't hold your breath.
Listen, anyway...
this is all top secret.
She doesn't want anyone to know.
( sarcastically )
Oh, but, she told you?
She felt she could trust me.
'Cause she always thought
I was someone
that she could confide in.
Did you speak to mom?
You mean about the split up?
Oh... I...
I thought that was
all top secret?
Just for Joy.
Sensitive Joy.
Everyone else knows.
Oh.
Waiter: Can I get you ladies
anything else?
- Coffee? Dessert?
- No thank you, just the check, please.
Thank you.
Thanks for lunch.
I really enjoyed this.
( pickets chanting ) Benefits!
Benefits! We want benefits!
Benefits! Benefits!
We want benefits!
You know, there are people
in real need in there.
The fucking management's
in there.
What about the refugees?
- What about our benefits?
- ( chanting continues )
I'm sorry. I think you're all
making a terrible mistake.
( crowd begins to chant )
Scab! Scab! Scab...!
( pickets heard outside )
That's so sad.
I mean, really, it's pathetic.
Such losers.
Really, I feel sorry for them.
- What is it? What happened?
- They called me a scab.
Oh, you're not a scab.
You're a strikebreaker.
- ( bell rings )
- Good luck.
Hello.
My name is Joy Jordan.
I am your new teacher.
- Now...
- You are scab.
( broken English )
Where Marsha?
Marsha? Well...
- Marsha...
- We want Marsha!
( class begins chanting )
We want Marsha! We want Marsha!
We want Marsha! We want Marsha!
We want Marsha! We want Marsha!
( shouts )
Quiet!
Please.
I am not a scab.
I am a strikebreaker.
( cheering )
All right.
Good job.
( cheering )
Don't fuck this up.
- Come on.
- Let's go, Johnny.
Come on. You can do it.
Bill, I don't know.
Maybe I should talk to you.
You're supposed to be a specialist
in these things, aren't you?
Well, I don't know.
That depends.
Look...
...my son's a fag,
I'm not blind to these things.
How come you're so sure he's...
...gay?
Are you kidding?
Well, it's just, sometimes
appearances can be deceiving.
And besides,
even if you're right,
there's not much
you can do... is there?
What do you think will happen
if I got him uh...
professional, you know?
A professional?
Hooker.
One that could
teach him things.
First-timers, you know...
break him in.
But, Joe...
he's eleven.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
It's too late.
He is what he is.
Forget I said anything.
Ah, dad, could Johnny
sleep over tonight?
Well, that's up to Joe.
Daddy, may I please sleep over
at Billy's tonight?
Sure. Sure. Whatever.
( cheering )
( scuffs )
Like girls.
( video game playing )
Come and get it.
Oh, Bill, you shouldn't have.
Here, take.
You only live once.
Billy.
- Here, Johnny.
- No, thank you, Dr. Maplewood.
Aren't you having any?
Johnny hates chocolate fudge.
Well...
Is there something
you'd like instead?
No, thank you, Dr. Maplewood.
What about something to drink?
Leave him alone, honey,
he's fine.
No. There must be something.
Do you have any grape Hi C?
Do we, Trish?
I'm afraid not.
- I'll go pick some up.
- Bill, don't be silly.
He doesn't need anything,
it's late.
Do you have any tuna salad?
Would you like a sandwich?
Yes, please.
We're going to bed.
Timmy can barely keep his eyes open.
You boys don't stay up
too late, huh?
Okay.
Here we are.
Hey, what happened to Billy?
I don't know.
I guess he just conked out.
Bedtime for Billy.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Aren't you gonna eat
the sandwich?
In a minute.
Take your time.
Is your game almost over?
This is the bonus round.
I... I have
some cereal or a hot dog?
No thank you.
Dr. Maplewood?
Yeah.
Would it be all right
if I ate this tomorrow?
Well... sure but...
I don't know if it's gonna
taste any good tomorrow.
How is it?
Actually, it's really good.
( birds chirping -
bicycle bell rings )
- Oh, honey, I feel so good.
- Me, too.
I don't think I've slept
this well in so long.
Me neither.
It's weird, I feel as if we...
Bill, did we?
Did you...?
Did I?
Yes.
I don't remember.
That's all right.
It doesn't matter.
It matters.
Forget about it.
Okay.
It's funny, I remember
I was dreaming.
And you were there...
and Billy and Timmy
and Chloe...
and Johnny Grasso.
Hmm?
I can't really remember
anything more.
Except...
I don't know.
Hmm?
Bill, please don't get
mad at me...
I know you hate
it when I ask...
Do you still...?
( exhales )
Yes.
- Very, very much.
- Oh, Bill.
I do too. I do too.
Sorry I need to keep
being reminded.
- It's just...
- I know.
We haven't been...
I know.
- I know. It's my fault.
- No, honey.
- It's my fault.
- No, I...
Trish: I know. I know.
Timmy: Die! Die! Die!
Trish: Timmy, stop that.
Where's Billy?
Watching TV.
How come you two aren't
playing together?
I don't know.
Billy said he didn't feel like it.
Hmm?
Dr. Maplewood?
Yes?
Can you drive me home now?
Well, sure, but...
...aren't you having
a good time?
I'm not feeling very well.
What's the matter?
l, I don't know.
I... ( gagging )
Oh...
All right.
Um...
I'll take you home.
Dr. Maplewood?
Yes, Johnny?
I'm sorry I threw up.
Don't worry about it.
'Cause I really had
a good time.
Good.
Billy did too.
We all did.
Dr. Maplewood?
Yes, Johnny?
You're so cool.
Billy: Dad?
Yes, Billy.
I was kind of wondering...
( sighs )
Yeah...?
Nothing.
Did you have fun with Johnny?
Yeah...
It was okay.
He's a little girlish, though.
Oh... yes.
Dad?
Do you know how many
inches your penis is?
I never measured.
'Cause...
Ronald Farber says his penis
is eleven inches long.
Do you think that's possible?
What Ronald Farber
doesn't know,
is that it's not length
that matters.
It's width.
Why?
Things get a little more...
intense.
What do you mean "intense?"
Have you been practicing?
Yeah. But...
it's no use.
Nothing comes.
You have to be patient.
Your friend Ronald Farber,
I can assure you,
is full of crap.
Yeah. I bet yours
is a lot wider.
And longer.
Do you want me to measure?
Nah, that's okay.
Hi. Ann Chambue.
- Mona Jordan.
- Wonderful. Come this way.
Okay.
I'm sorry to have kept
you waiting so long.
Can I get you some
coffee or tea?
No, thanks.
Okay.
Now then, how can I help you?
Oh, you said that there
might be something available
over in Elysian Fields?
Well, actually we have several
places we can see there.
First I need to get a bit
of information from you.
Are you looking for
a one, two or three bedroom?
- Three.
- Wonderful.
( keyboard clicking )
Is this for you
and your husband?
No.
Just yourself then?
Yes.
No children?
My children are grown.
No pets?
No.
Then just you alone
all by yourself?
( begins to sob )
Mrs. Jordan, is something
the matter?
My husband is leaving me.
I'm so sorry.
You know...
we have a lot of divorcees
in Phase IV.
Would you like to see
something there?
Perhaps a bit smaller?
Who said I was getting
divorced?
Ann: What you need
is a fresh start.
Mona: Yes. That's what
I'm looking for.
You know, I'm a divorcee.
- Oh.
- And I live in Phase IV.
Oh. I'm so sorry.
- Mrs. Jordan...
- Mona.
Mona. That's a beautiful name.
Thank you.
How long were you married?
Forty years.
You know, Mona, I ah...
I think we have
a lot in common.
Probably more than you realize.
See, I know what you're
going through, I've been there.
I'd like to share a little
secret with you.
Divorce was the best thing
that ever happened to me.
Really.
Don't worry, she's the
exception to the rule.
Everyone here is
much more youthful.
( siren sounds )
Lenny: Are you sure?
Let me show you something.
You see this?
You're the picture of health.
No tumors?
- Nope.
- How's the heart?
Like an ox, Lenny.
You'll live to be a hundred.
So I still have another
thirty-five years?
Just stay off the salt.
You bet.
Hi, Lenny.
Oh.
Hello, Diane.
Mind if I join you?
No.
No thanks.
How's Mona?
She's fine.
Why's she inside on such
a beautiful day?
I don't know.
What do you mean,
you don't know?
- I don't know.
- Whatever.
How are your girls?
Fine, I guess.
The grandchildren coming
to visit soon?
I don't know.
Look, Lenny...
I think you ought to know,
I heard about you and Mona.
About what?
That you're getting divorced.
- I really sorry.
- We're not getting divorced.
Divorced, separated, whatever.
It doesn't matter.
You're alone now.
Anyway...
if you ever need anyone
to talk to...
you know where to find me.
( engine accelerates )
( to herself ) Everything
I write is so shallow...
so superficial.
Can't anyone see through
my work?
It's inherent phoniness.
Rape at 11...
Rape at 12...
What the hell do I know
about rape?
I've never been raped.
I'm just another sordid
exploitationist.
If only I'd been raped
as a child.
Then I would know authenticity.
But instead...
( screams )
I'm no good.
No good.
Nothing. Nothing.
Zero. Zero.
( telephone rings )
Hello?
I know who you are
and you are nothing.
You think you
are fucking something,
but you are fucking nothing.
You are empty. You are a zero.
You are a black hole,
I'm gonna fuck you so bad
you'll be coming out of your ears.
( beeping )
( ringing )
- Data Resources.
- Who are you?
( breathing heavily )
( telephone rings )
- What do you want?
- I want you to fuck me.
I... uh...
I don't think I can do that.
I mean...
I don't think I can do that.
I gotta go.
- Call me tomorrow.
- All right.
Hey, Allen...
did you see the playoffs
last night?
Yeah. pretty good.
( chuckling )
Pretty good.
I was on my knees praying
for that shot.
It worked.
( laughs )
( muffled moaning heard )
( doorbell rings )
Who is it?
Who is it?
It's uh... me.
Kristina.
Hey...
- How's it going?
- Okay.
Um, I have some more
information about Pedro.
Pedro?
- Yeah, you know, the um...
- Oh, yeah.
What?
- Um, well...
- ( moans )
- Are you all right?
- No.
Pussy... Need pussy...
( begins to snore )
( snorts )
( gagging heard )
( throwing up )
( breathing heavily )
What the fuck
are you doing here?
Get out.
( shouts )
Get out!
Get out!
( door slams )
( sniffing )
Man: Joy!
Joy!
Joy! Joy!
I am Vlad,
your student.
Hello, Vlad.
How are you?
I am fine.
How are you?
Oh, fine. Fine.
( broken English )
I not believe you.
( begins to sob )
Really, Vlad. I'm fine.
I'm sorry... it's just
I'm a terrible teacher.
Everyone hates me and I should
have never left telephone sales,
because I was really
doing a lot more good then.
Where you are go now?
I'm just on my way home.
Tell me where do you live.
I take you home.
Oh no, I couldn't.
Joy.
Come in my cab.
- I give you ride.
- Vlad, no.
I like walking
and the train is nearby.
No. No train.
I drive you home.
I live in New Jersey.
- Good. I take you New Jersey.
- No, maybe you don't understand.
- New Jersey is far.
- Joy, you no understand.
Huh? I driver.
My taxi.
You come. You understand?
You come.
Are you sure you know...?
Vlad knows.
I love New Jersey.
Don't you miss Russia?
Fuck the cunt of Russia.
Well, I guess it's best
to feel that way.
Thank you for everything.
That was really very
nice of you.
I'm sorry about before...
that was very unlike me.
Do you think you'll need help
finding your way back?
Why you not married?
Oh... Vlad.
Our life is
so different in America.
Here a woman can, I know this
is difficult to understand, but,
a woman can fulfill
her potential.
Um...
there are opportunities
to do something...
...do good, really improve
the world.
Do you like men?
Yes.
But, it's not so simple.
Are you lesbian?
- No.
- It's all right.
If you are lesbian.
I like lesbian.
Vlad...
I'm sorry.
But, this conversation has
become a bit strange for me.
So thank you
for the ride, and...
Well, then, good night...
and um...
I'll see you in...
Would you like to come inside
for a cup of tea?
I'll go put the kettle on.
Oh, that's good...
Take your shoes off.
Make yourself comfortable.
It's my parents' place.
I plan on
moving out soon, though.
- How long you live here?
- Since I was born.
I find there are a lot of
advantages to not moving.
So...
What did you do in Russia?
- I was thief.
- Oh.
You mean the Mafia?
No.
Independent.
I steal things on my own.
Although I have many offers.
You are musician?
Oh, no.
I just write songs a little.
What kind songs?
I don't know.
They're so terrible.
Love songs.
- No.
- Play.
Oh, no.
I play.
So many nights
I sit by my window
waiting for someone
to sing me her song
So many dreams
I've kept deep inside me
alone in the dark
but now you've come along
You light up my life
You give me hope
to carry on
You light up my days
and fill all my nights
with song
And you light up my life
You give me hope
to carry on
You light up my days
and fill my nights
with song
It can't be wrong
when it feels so right
'cause you...
you light up my life.
Okay.
Okay.
I have to go now.
See you in class tomorrow.
( "You Light Up My Life" playing
- pickets chanting )
Good morning.
So, how's it going?
Oh, hi, Rhonda.
Your students treating you okay?
Oh, they're just great.
I hate to say this, but,
I told you so. ( laughs )
How about you?
How's your class?
Oh, my students
are such a hoot.
They're always telling
me how much they love me.
Actually, if you can keep
a secret,
there's this one...
( sighs ) Igor...
I've got such a crush on him.
- Oh?
- ( giggles )
Well, not that I'd ever...
I mean, especially the
Russians.
What?
- B.O.
- Really?
- Mine seem okay.
- You're very lucky.
- Rhonda?
- Yeah?
If your Igor...
used deodorant...
( broken English )
You teacher Vlad?
Yes.
( screaming )
Oh, my God.
That woman was crazy.
Joy, are you okay?
Yeah. I'm fine.
( class bell rings )
Joy...
you didn't...
did you?
- Mom?
- Yeah?
There's blood in my BM.
Can I stay home
from school today?
- Detective: How do you feel?
- Johnny: Okay.
Are you sure?
Yeah. I feel fine.
Maybe a little sore.
But...
I'm ready to go back to school.
That's good, Johnny.
Johnny, I have to ask you
a few questions. Is that okay?
Yeah.
When did you first
start feeling sick?
Yesterday.
What happened?
I threw up at my friend's house.
Johnny... he spent
the night there.
I thought that he had
a little virus.
Did you eat anything unusual,
Johnny?
Just a tuna sandwich.
He loves tuna salad.
I see.
Johnny, when did you
first notice the blood?
When I went to the bathroom
this morning.
Johnny, I have to ask you
a question
and it's very important that
you be honest, okay?
Uh-huh.
Johnny was there,
in the last day or two...
someone who hurt you?
No. I...
I don't think so.
But someone did hurt you?
No, Johnny?
No. No one hurt me.
( angrily ) What do you mean, no?
You've been fucking raped.
I'm sorry.
More potatoes, Bill?
Mmm. No thanks.
I got plenty.
The baby-sitter should be here
any minute now.
When does the PTA start?
We've still got about
a half an hour.
So, how did school go today?
Okay.
Was Johnny there?
No.
Oh, I sure hope the kids don't
catch whatever he's got.
( gagging )
Very funny, Timmy.
Now you're excused
and can go right to bed.
- But, mom.
- Yep.
Excuse me, Bill.
( telephone rings )
Hello?
Hi, Tawny, is there a problem?
( sighs )
Well, thank you for giving me
so much notice.
Well...
Uh-huh...
Yeah, sure, I'm sorry too.
Well maybe you could have
thought of that before.
Bye-bye.
Bill, I'm sorry you're going to
have to go by yourself tonight.
Isn't there someone else
you can get?
No, not at this late hour.
( sighs )
Come on. You're gonna come with
me right now and take a bath.
- But I'm not finished.
- Yes, you're finished.
- Let's go.
- Wait.
My Tamagatchi.
Get your Tamagatchi
and let's go.
Come on, mister, up the stairs.
Come on.
Timmy, please.
Come on.
Dad?
If you and mom died
in a plane crash,
would it be all right
if I took over?
Well... probably one of your
aunts would want to help out.
So, you don't think I'm old
enough to take care of myself,
Timmy and Clioe.
Well...
No.
Ronald Farber's parents are away
in Europe for a few days,
and Ronald gets to stay home by
himself without a baby-sitter.
So why do I need a baby-sitter?
Well, if you want to change
Clioe's diapers...
Well, if I didn't have any
little brother or sister,
would you let me stay alone
by myself for a few days?
Your mom and I are not
Mr. and Mrs. Farber.
We worry.
No.
What if I were twelve?
No.
Thirteen?
At thirteen I think
you'll be okay.
Can you promise?
As long as you don't look like
you're eleven.
I won't.
Okay.
Thirteen then.
Bill: Hello, in Roseland,
please.
I'm looking for the address
of a resident.
The name is Farber.
Thank you.
- Trish: Hon, is that you?
- Yes.
Did you remember the milk?
Yeah.
( television heard )
How was the meeting?
Fine.
Bill, are you all right?
I think I have to lie down.
Oh, shit.
I hope you're not coming down
with what Johnny Grasso had.
I don't think so.
I'll be up in a minute.
Dad?
Yeah?
I...
I almost came.
Trish?
Trish?
( moans )
Do you love me?
Oh, Bill.
- Yes.
- No, I mean...
...do you really love me?
No matter what?
No matter what.
Why?
No matter...
...whatever.
Bill, you have me.
You always will.
I'm sick.
Aww, honey.
Take some Tylenol.
You'll feel better tomorrow.
Mona: I met with Steven Zimmer
this morning.
- You like him?
- Yeah.
I'm gonna use him.
Good.
I'm gonna use Marty Blua.
Good.
I feel so much better now.
Well good.
It shouldn't take long.
Good night.
- Lenny?
- Yeah?
Can you sleep on the living
room couch?
Why?
Steven Zimmer thought
it would be a good idea.
Okay.
- Diane: Gin and tonic?
- Lenny: Okay. Thanks.
God, it's so bright outside,
it gives me a headache just
looking out the window.
Yeah, well they say
it's gonna rain tomorrow.
I don't want to talk about
the fucking weather.
Well it's good
for playing golf.
I hate that game.
It's so boring.
It passes the time.
I like to travel.
I went to Europe once.
Have you ever been to Tahiti?
No.
How about Tunisia?
- A night in Tunisia?
- ( laughs ) No.
Vincent never liked to travel.
I guess I'm like Vincent.
When I was a child I always
imagined that...
I'd marry the man
I fell in love with,
have a son and a daughter
who loved me
as much as I hated my mother,
then die...
tragically and suddenly.
Young and beautiful.
When Vincent left me
I imagined I'd finally be happy.
I guess you haven't lost
your imagination.
Lenny, I've got to get
out of here.
I can't breathe.
The women are pathetic gossips
and the men are...
Just pathetic.
I don't want to die here.
You just don't want to die.
Not alone.
Don't...
Don't feel guilty.
I don't.
I don't feel anything.
( telephone rings )
Helen: I have to see you.
( doorbell rings )
Who is it?
Kristina.
I'm sorry about last night.
Yeah. Uh, me, too.
I shouldn't have...
I understand.
I mean-- See, I can...
I can admit it.
That I'm fat...
and I'm ugly.
( sobs )
- No, no.
- Yes.
( sniffs ) Yes.
Thank you.
Say...
you wanna go somewhere?
( jukebox playing )
I like you.
I have a confession to make.
What?
Do you remember Pedro's penis?
You mean the one that...
that was...
cut off?
Well, it wasn't really cut off.
What happened to it?
Nothing.
I uh...
( sighs ) I don't understand.
Um...
why would you make something
like that up?
Was Pedro even killed?
How do you--
how do you know?
I tried so many times
to tell you,
but it's hard to, um...
I'd always been
very friendly to him.
I try to be that way
with all the doormen,
even thought they're usually
snickering behind my back.
I don't care.
I'm still friendly.
It's just my way.
But, um...
Pedro was different.
Pedro never snickered.
Of course, who was he
to snicker?
He wasn't exactly Tom Cruise.
Still, he could have,
but he didn't.
So anyway, one night...
I was coming home from the
Good evening, Miss Hope.
Hi, Pedro. Can you help me
with these bags?
No problem.
Thank you.
Normally I don't need any help,
but my back hurt because
the bags were heavy.
And I had...
a half-gallon of strawberry
ice cream...
two boxes of fudge
and a key lime pie.
And uh, I just couldn't wait
to get home
and get under the covers
and watch TV.
But, um...
I was in the elevator when
I first got this funny feeling,
like he was...
you know, kind of looking
at me funny.
And I thought maybe he was
just being friendly too.
I mean, you know,
just um, two friendly people.
( chuckles )
Um, would you mind putting
those in the kitchen for me?
No problem.
Thanks so much, Pedro.
No problem.
Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry.
Forget about that.
What I'd really like is...
a scoop of your ice cream
before I go back down.
Oh sure... please have a seat.
My wife died three years ago.
I feel...
...so lonely.
You are a beautiful woman,
Kristina.
You are so beautiful, Kristina.
( muffled screams )
( screams )
And the next thing I know...
...he's inside me,
you know, just pounding away.
Oh, Allen.
- Waitress: All finished?
- Allen: Yeah.
Would you like to see
a dessert menu?
What kind of ice cream
do you have?
Chocolate, vanilla
and strawberry.
Umm...
Okay then, I'll have a plain
chocolate fudge sundae
with strawberry ice cream.
Thank you.
And you, sir?
( sighs ) Just the check,
please.
So anyway, everything got
really quiet,
and then I thought, well okay,
at least the worst part
is over.
( breathing heavily )
How do you like it?
Kiss me again.
Kristina: But, that was just
an act.
I let him kiss me one last time,
and I grabbed ahold
of his neck,
- and I twisted it...
- ( cracking )
...backward.
- Here you are.
- Thank you.
And then I had to
cut up his body.
You know, plastic bag,
all the parts.
I've been throwing it out
gradually ever since.
There's still some left
in my freezer.
- So you did cut off his...
- No.
I left it attached,
I didn't want to touch it again.
( begins sobbing )
I feel so terrible.
You must think I'm a monster.
But what else could
I have done?
Anyway, I couldn't help myself.
I hate...
...sex.
I'm sorry, but just
the idea of it...
of someone all over...
inside of me.
I know it isn't right...
...but can we still be...
...friends?
Um...
I guess.
Yeah.
Uh, I mean...
we all have our...
( sighs ) you know...
our pluses...
and minuses.
It was a crime of passion.
I'm a passionate woman.
( sighs )
( rings )
Helen: I've had you
on auto-redial all night.
( doorbell rings )
Helen: Hello?
( door squeaks open )
Yes?
I'm the...
I'm...
I'm sorry?
Oh.
Come in.
Please...
have a seat.
Drink?
No. Thanks.
This is not working.
No.
You're not my type.
No.
( doorbell rings )
Can I come in?
( arguing in Russian heard )
( buzzes door )
I'm sorry.
I wanted to...
Here.
Vlad.
( speaking Russian )
Come inside.
Please.
Joy...
Why you are come here?
I came because
I wanted to say...
that I was sorry to your wife.
Zhenia is not my wife.
So you're not really married?
Zhenia love me.
It is problem.
She want be my wife, but...
she don't listen.
What can I do?
What can I do?
Come. You want I drive you
New Jersey?
- We go shopping.
- ( glass breaking/baby cries )
- No. I don't think that's...
- ( shouts in Russian )
Joy.
I must ask you question.
Yes?
I very ashamed.
I'm sure I'll understand.
Good.
Can I borrow money?
It's very important.
- How much?
- One thousand dollars.
All right. Five hundred.
I need money now.
I... I...
I guess I can go to
a cash machine.
Good.
I know where is ATM.
- Vlad?
- Yes.
Could I first,
have my guitar
and my CD player back?
Okay.
It is deal.
Do you think shopping mall
in New Jersey is open tonight?
Yeah. Probably.
Here.
I love you.
You love New Jersey.
I give you back Monday.
That's okay.
I um...
I probably won't
be there anyway.
Why no?
I don't know.
I think I now have more
sympathy for the strikers.
See ya.
Stupid American.
So, Billy...
how was school today?
Okay.
Ronald Farber was absent.
Oh?
He was afraid of the math test.
So he stayed home?
Yeah. He cut.
That's terrible.
His parents...
Um, they don't know yet.
They're still on vacation.
Oh, are they gonna be upset.
Well, Ronald's gonna be pretty
upset when he finds out
that the test was canceled.
What happened?
Mrs. Paley was absent also.
( chuckles )
Did you call Ronald
and tell him?
Yeah, but, there was no answer.
Was Mrs. Paley sick, then?
Well, everyone said she was
too strung out.
Why do people say things
like that?
Because she's...
a drug addict.
And how do you know?
Everyone knows.
Well, I didn't know.
Did you know, Bill?
No.
Did you hear that, Billy?
Well, it's what everyone says,
she's a junkie.
And she's probably
gonna get fired.
It's really sad.
Well, if Mrs. Paley turns out,
in fact, to be a junkie,
then she should be fired.
Don't you think so, Bill?
I don't know.
Don't you think that's...
a little harsh?
I mean, it's not
affecting her work.
Well, apparently it is.
No. In fact, I don't think
it's a little harsh at all.
I'm sorry, but when it comes
to drug abuse and children,
my children,
they should be locked up
and throw away the key.
I want you to know, if you ever
even think of doing drugs
and end up dying in a hospital,
I'd disown you. That's how
strongly I feel about it.
- Trish.
- No. I know I may sound harsh,
but I'm talking about our kids.
Not to be grandiose,
but this is the future...
the future of our country we're
taking about, after all.
( telephone rings )
Hello?
Who's calling, please?
Oh, hi.
Sure, hold on.
It's Joe Grasso.
Oh. Great.
Hey, Joe. What's up?
How's Johnny doing?
Joe: You're a dead man.
( phone hangs up )
Oh, good.
Good.
No problem.
Right.
Okay. Well, take care.
Bye.
Trish: How's Johnny doing?
Uh...
fine.
- Never better.
- Good.
We bought those
"Beauty and The Beast" tickets.
I don't think
Billy has anyone else.
No. He did cancel...
( doorbell rings )
- Who could that be?
- I'll get it.
- Who is it?
- Police.
- Can I help you?
- Are you William Maplewood?
Yes.
We're sorry to disturb you,
but we have some questions
for you and your wife.
It has to do with your son's
friend, Johnny Grasso?
Did something...?
Come this way.
Go ahead, please.
Thank you.
Sit, please.
Trish: Who is it?
We were just
finishing our dinner.
Umm...
I'll be right back.
( whispers )
The police.
You take care of the kids.
Sorry.
Now...
you said something about
Ronald Farber?
Excuse me?
I'm sorry, I mean,
I mean, Johnny Grasso?
Mom, I don't want to go.
We'll be right there.
Billy, come on,
the bus is here.
Come on. Honey,
please, not today.
- Wait!
- ( Timmy continues to shout )
I'll take you boys myself.
Dad?
Yes, Billy?
Everyone at school
is saying things about you.
( sighs )
Who is everyone?
Like, kids, you know.
Everyone.
What are they saying?
That... you're...
...a serial rapist.
And a pervert.
You mean, like what they
painted on the house?
( nervously )
Dad, did you, um...
uh...
with... Johnny Grasso
and Ronald Farber?
Yes.
What... did you do?
I touched them.
What do you mean,
exactly, touched?
I fondled them.
What for?
I couldn't help myself.
What else?
I...
I unzipped myself.
You...
you mean, masturbated?
No.
Then what?
I...
made love.
What do you mean?
I fucked them.
What was it like?
It was...
it was great.
Would you do it again?
Yes.
Would...
would you ever...
fuck me?
No.
I'd jerk off instead.
( begins sobbing )
Timmy: I don't wanna go.
Where are we going?
- Mom, I don't wanna go.
- Shh! Just get in the car.
Wait, my Tamagatchi.
My Tamagatchi.
So, who used to live
here before?
Another couple, the Heller's.
What happened to them?
They got divorced.
Anyway, the police came and
looked in her freezer
and found baggies filled
with the doorman's genitals.
- I use baggies.
- Me, too.
Everyone uses baggies.
That's why we can relate to this crime.
- Don't you see?
- I can't relate to it.
In any case,
there's this guy I've met, Joy,
that I'd think you'd like.
He's in computers,
I think.
- How did you meet him?
- He's a neighbor of mine.
You want to call him, or should
I give him your number?
I'll call him.
That'll be great.
I think he'll really like that.
- What about me?
- I'm looking. I'm looking.
I like computers.
Trish, trust me on this one.
He's not for you.
And what about me?
I haven't forgotten, mom,
it's just...
it's hard.
But, I'm looking for everyone.
Well, don't look for me.
- Have you found somebody?
- No. There's no one.
I heard Diane had a stroke.
She'll recover.
Um, well that's good.
Where there's
life there's hope.
That's right.
- You bet.
- Absolutely.
Yeah.
Could you pass the sweet
potatoes, please?
Here.
Did anyone watch Leno
last night?
Mona: Timmy. Oh, Timmy.
Timmy, come over
and sit on Grandma's lap.
Timmy. Timmy, what?
- Timmy?
- ( door closes )
What's the matter with Timmy?
His Tamagatchi died.
Tamagatchi?
Helen, so what's gonna happen
to that woman
who killed your doorman?
I don't know, mom.
It's so sad.
She's all alone.
I just wish I'd gotten to
know her better.
We might have found we had
something in common.
Maybe you'll write
a poem about her.
( laughs )
Joy, I'm so sorry.
But...
don't worry.
I'm not laughing at you.
I'm laughing with you.
But I'm not laughing.
( breathing heavily )
( breathing rapidly )
Let's make a toast.
- To happiness.
- To happiness.
To happiness.
Kookie.
Kookie.
I... I came.
It seems the things I've wanted
in my life, I've never had
So it's no surprise
that living only leaves me sad
Happiness where are you?
I've searched so long for you
Happiness what are you?
I haven't got a clue
Happiness why do you
have to stay...
so far away...
from me?
When I'm in despair
and life has turned into a mess
I know that I don't dare
to end my search for happiness
Happiness where are you?
I've searched so long for you
Happiness what are you?
I haven't got a clue
Happiness why do you
have to stay...
so far away...
from me?
Happiness sometimes
I think I see you from afar
When I run to catch you though,
that's just not where you are
Happiness sometimes
I think I see you from afar
When I run to catch you though,
that's just not where you are
Happiness you know I'll
get a hold of you some way
Till I do you know I'll
keep on searching everyday
Happiness where are you?
I've searched so long for you
Happiness what are you?
I haven't got a clue
Happiness why do you
have to stay...
so far away...
from me?
Gonna find it
Gonna find it
Gonna find my happiness
Gonna find it
Gonna find it
Gonna find my happiness
Gonna find it
Gonna find it
Gonna find my happiness
Gonna find it
Gonna find it
Gonna find my happiness
When I'm in despair
and life has turned into a mess
I know that I don't dare
to end my search for happiness
Happiness where are you?
I'm gonna get to you
Happiness what are you?
I'll know before I'm through
Happiness you
know you just can't stay...
so far away... from me
Happiness where are you?
I'm gonna get to you
Happiness what are you?
I'll know before I'm through
Happiness you know
you just can't stay...
so far away...
from me
Happiness where are you?
I'm gonna get to you
Happiness what are you?
I'll know before I'm through
Happiness where are you?
I'm gonna get to you
Happiness what are you?
I'll know before I'm through
Happiness where are you?
I'm gonna get to you
Happiness what are you?
I'll know before I'm through
Happiness where are you?
I'm gonna get to you
Happiness what are you?
I'll know before I'm through.
Are you okay?
Yes.
Sure. I'm fine.
Good.
Well, I had a really nice time.
Yeah. Me, too.
Of course, you know I've always
had a really nice time with you.
Same here.
But...
Yeah?
- You understand?
- Uh-huh.
Well, the food here
was excellent.
I'm gonna recommend it
to my sisters.
How many stars did it get?
Three and a half.
- ( begins to sob )
- Oh...
( coughing )
Do you feel better now?
- Me, too.
- Sorry.
It's really...
It's good we had this talk.
Yeah.
Before things went too far,
you know?
- Got too serious.
- Yeah.
( mumbling )
- Are you sure?
- Oh, yes.
Is it someone else?
No.
It's just you.
Hey, I want to show you
something I got you.
- For me?
- Here, open it up.
But, Andy...
This is...
Oh...
Oh, this is beautiful.
Thanks.
It's a Gainsevoort
reproduction.
Boston, late 188O's.
I sent away for it right after
we had our...
...first date.
Oh, I just love it.
It's...
( sighs )
It's a collector's item.
Yeah.
It is pretty special.
( sighs deeply )
It almost makes me want
to learn how to smoke.
( both begin to laugh )
Hey, look at the back.
( gasps )
Uhh.
That's a forty-karat,
gold plated,
inlaid base.
Oh, Andy, I just love it.
It's...
this really means
something to me.
I'll always treasure it
as... a token.
No you won't.
'Cause this is for the girl
who loves me.
The girl who cares about me,
for who I am.
Not what I look like.
I just wanted you to know
what you'd be missing.
You think I don't
appreciate art.
You think I don't understand
fashion.
You think I'm not hip.
You think I'm pathetic.
A nerd.
A lard-ass fatso.
You think I'm shit.
Well, you're wrong.
'Cause I'm champagne.
And you're shit!
And till the day you die...
you...
not me...
will always be shit.
I dunno...
but whenever I see her,
I just wanna...
you know, I wanna...
undress her...
I wanna tie her up.
I wanna pump her...
pump, pump, pump,
till she screams bloody murder.
And then I wanna...
flip her ass over
and pump her even more.
And so hard that my dick
shoots right through her.
And that my...
come squirts out her mouth.
And not that I could ever...
...actually do that.
See...
if she only knew how I felt.
Deep down I really
cared for her...
respected her...
she would love me back.
Maybe.
Oh, she doesn't
even know I exist.
I mean, she knows I exist...
I mean we are neighbors,
you know, we...
you know, smile politely
at each other, but...
I don't know if I could ever
really begin to talk to her,
I mean, what could I talk
about?
I have nothing to talk about,
I'm boring.
That I know.
I've been told before,
so don't tell me it's not true.
'Cause it's a fact.
I bore people.
People look at me
and they get bored.
People listen to me
and they zone out...
...bored.
Who is that boring person?
They think...
"I have never before met
anyone so boring."
And for her to
see how boring I am...
( to himself )
A gallon of skim milk.
A dozen eggs...
...one of those disposable
cameras for the weekend.
Stop at the 7-11
on the way home...
I got to get the
dry cleaning, for Trish.
I've got to check Billy's
homework...
and call Mrs. Mitchell about
her appointment on Tuesday...
reschedule the dentist.
But do you know what
I'm gonna do?
( Bill to himself )
I gotta get the dog cleaned...
The next time I see her...
as soon as I see her...
I'm just gonna tell her...
I'm gonna tell
her that l, uh...
find her...
...attractive.
Good evening, Miss Jordan.
( nervously )
How, how's it going?
Okay.
( elevator door opens )
- See ya.
- Yeah.
( phone beeps - dial tone )
( mumbling )
I'm gonna fuck you so hard,
you'll be coming out
of your ears.
Fuck you...
( dialing beeps )
( ringing )
- Man: Yeah?
- ( clicks phone off )
No, fuck you.
I'll fuck you.
I'll fuck you...
...really hard.
So hard you won't even...
( ringing )
Woman: Hello?
Hello, is this Claire?
- Woman: Who is this?
- ( clicks phone off )
- ( screams )
- Die, Aunt Joy! Die!
- Timmy!
- It's okay, Trish.
He's just going through a
phase. Leave him alone.
- I know, but...
- It's okay. I'm strong enough.
- ( begins to sob )
- I blame it on cartoons,
they are so full of violence.
What's with the people
that are making cartoons.
That's what you have to--
Joy?
- ( sobbing )
- Joy, what's the matter?
I don't know what it is,
but I feel there's so much...
hostility directed at me.
Honey, did another guy
dump you?
No, l--
I just feel terrible.
Aww, Sweetie.
Timmy didn't mean it.
I know, I know.
I'm sorry, I just...
I'm overworked, that's all.
It's okay.
It's okay, 'cause now
maybe you'll listen to me.
What?
- You have got to eat red meat.
- Oh, Trish.
I knew that's how you'd react,
but I'm telling you, it's true.
I've been watching you.
My doctor says just once
a month.
I know.
Really. It's the best thing
for the skin.
- It'll clear it right up.
- What's wrong with my skin?
Well it's fine now, but...
in another few years...
Please, Joy.
You know I'm just speaking
to you for your own good.
I know. I know.
Thanks.
- I'm so happy.
- You are?
Yeah. I mean being
around you and the kids
and you know, Kooki.
- You really are?
- Yeah.
Oh, honey,
I'm so happy you're happy.
'Cause all this time I've been
thinking you were so miserable.
Oh, Trish. That's too funny,
when I couldn't be happier.
You know, it's just with your
music career--
Oh, my career's fine.
Oh, I know. I know, it will be.
I just know it.
And then you'll move out
of mom and dad's.
- Real soon.
- And you'll meet Mr. Right.
Oh, I will.
Already I feel I'm off
to a fresh start.
That's right. Just because
you hit thirty
doesn't mean you can't be
fresh anymore.
You know Joy, I've never told
you this before...
but now that we're older,
and...
I feel so bonded to you.
Well, the truth is...
I know this is
gonna sound horrible...
but I feel I have to be
open with you,
and get beyond
all the barriers,
and the sibling nonsense.
The truth is I always thought
you'd never amount to much.
That you would end up alone,
without a career.
It's what we all thought.
Mom, Dad, Helen...
...everyone.
I always prayed we'd all
be wrong, but,
somehow you always seemed
so doomed to failure.
But now I see that's not true.
There's a glimmer of hope
for you after all.
I'm sorry, I'm repeating
myself.
I'm just really happy for you.
( both sigh )
( screaming - hollering
in panic )
( gunfire continues )
Psychiatrist:
And how is this different?
I don't kill myself at the end.
Do you see this
as something positive?
Gee, well...
I don't know.
How do you feel at the end?
Much better.
I wake up happy...
feeling good...
but then I'll get depressed
because I'm living in reality.
What about your family?
Trish is good to me.
But, still no sex.
No...
but, she's not too interested
either, so...
really there's no problem there
when you think about it...
on a certain level.
( panting )
- Hi.
- Hi, hon, how's work?
Oh, fine.
Hey, Billy.
What's going on?
Nothing.
He's depressed.
- Well is anything the matter?
- I don't want to talk about it.
Ignore him.
He just wants attention.
He thinks you'll be impressed.
So anyway, Joy came by.
- How's she doing?
- I dunno, I'm concerned.
She's not like me.
She doesn't have it all.
She pretends to be happy, but,
you can see right through her,
she's miserable.
Why do you think that?
To be frank, she's lazy.
She's not a go-getter.
She's so picky.
I gave Damien Ross her
phone number,
and Joy sounded interested,
but I dunno.
I'm afraid to say it,
but it's what I believe.
She'll always be alone.
- We're all alone.
- Oh, Bill.
Sometimes I wonder how any of
your patients can talk to you.
Sometimes I wonder
if they'll ever stop.
I should tape some for you.
Would you?
Would you really?
- So I could listen, too?
- No.
Come on, you're such a tease.
I wouldn't tell anyone.
Right. 'Cause you're
so secretive.
Maybe not as secretive as you.
What secret would you like me
to tell you?
Like how come no matter how
much you treat me like shit...
I can't help lovin' you
even more?
- Dad?
- Yes, Billy.
What does "come" mean?
"Come?"
You know...
Well, you know sometimes
your penis gets erect?
Well, sometimes it gets so
excited that a sticky,
milky substance shoots out.
Dickwad?
Yes, only "come" can be used
as a verb as well.
- Billy...
- Yeah?
Have you ever come?
Yeah.
Billy, it's all right
if you haven't.
But, I have.
- Billy?
- But...
everyone else in class
has and...
I want to come, too.
It's okay. It's okay.
Have you tried playing
with yourself?
You mean...
With your penis.
A little.
How did it feel?
I don't know.
I don't know what to do.
Do you want me to show you?
No. No.
I'm not normal.
Oh, no, Billy.
- ( Billy begins to cry )
- Don't worry, you're normal.
Hey...
you'll come one day.
You'll see.
Man:
I'm turning on the dishwasher.
- Where's my valium?
- Man: What?
Never mind.
Fuckin' asshole.
( telephone rings )
You answer it, bastard.
Man:
Mona, it's Trish.
- Hi, Trish.
- Hi, mom. How are you?
Oh, I'm fine.
How are you?
- Trish: Fine.
- Good.
Trish: Did you watch
Leno last night?
Mom?
( begins to sob )
He's leaving me.
Your father's leaving me.
Mom, what are
you talking about?
Trish, can you keep
this top secret?
Yes. Yes of course I can, mom.
He says...
He says he doesn't love
me anymore.
- I'm sure he doesn't mean it.
- He does fucking mean it.
He wants a divorce.
He said the word "divorce"?
What? You don't believe me?
- You talk to him, okay? Lenny?
- Yeah.
It's Trish, she wants
to talk to you.
- Yeah, Trish?
- Is it true what mom said?
- What?
- You want a divorce?
Mona, what are you telling
the kids?
She'll call you back.
Did I use the word "divorce"?
You... You said you didn't want
to live with me.
Answer the question,
did I use the word "divorce"?
You said that you didn't
love me.
Did I use the word "divorce"?
No.
Good.
I just wanted to make that clear.
Now sit down next to me.
Come on.
Sit down.
( shouts )
Sit down!
( sighs deeply )
Lenny, why?
I don't know.
I just want to be alone.
I can let you be alone more
if that's what you want.
It's not that.
Things change...
People change.
I want out.
It's Diane, isn't it?
Diane?
You're in love with Diane
Freed.
Oh, get outta here. Please.
You're in love with someone.
It's someone younger probably.
- Wrong.
- Lenny...
it's okay, I'm not dumb.
Things happen.
I'll get over it.
I wish you had done this
twenty years ago.
Now I'll have to get another
fucking face-lift.
I'm in love with no one.
- With no one?
- No one.
Okay, then.
Schmuck.
Woman: You know people are
always putting New Jersey down.
None of my friends can actually
believe I live here.
But that's just because
they don't get it.
I'm living in a state of irony.
Helen, are you sure you don't
want to have dinner with me tonight?
Oh, I can't.
I'm giving another reading
book-signing at Barnes Noble,
then Jamal's taking me out,
although I promised Flavio.
( sighs ) I hate Saturday
nights.
Everybody wants me, Joy,
you have no idea.
I know, it's that l,
I wrote a new song,
and I thought you'd come over,
- I could play it for you--
- Can you hold on?
I'm sorry, Joy, hold on.
- ( phone beeps )
- Hello?
Oh, Salman. Hold on one second.
( beeps )
Joy, I'm so sorry I have to
take this, it's London.
I'll talk to you soon.
Okay, bye-bye.
Bye.
( telephone rings )
Hello?
Hi. Um...
How are you?
Is this...
Damien?
Yeah. How ya doin'?
Oh, fine. Trish told me
you might be calling.
Yeah.
( chuckles ) Well, I know how
weird these things can be,
but, I've always had such faith
in Trish's judgment,
I just thought, why not?
It's not like I have a huge
social life...
I do have a social life,
it's just not huge.
- Same here.
- Really?
That's so nice to hear.
Most people seem so confident.
Yeah.
- Or they're real jerks.
- ( banging )
What are you doing?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I just trying
to thaw this steak,
and it's so hard, and I...
( laughs )
- I'm sorry.
- No, no.
Don't stop because of me.
Well, I feel I'm being so rude.
No, no, Not at all.
Well, thanks.
- Are you alone?
- Yeah I'm alone.
Nobody's listening in.
Don't worry.
God, you're just like me.
- What are you wearing?
- You mean when we go out?
Where do you want to go?
I'm pretty easy to please.
I hate getting all dressed up.
What are you wearing now?
Just a pair of jeans, why?
- Are they tight?
- Not too tight.
Actually they fit pretty good.
- But why do you want to know...?
- Not the jeans, underneath.
What are you wearing
underneath? Check.
Underneath? Well...
- Damien, underneath is just...
- ( grunts )
This isn't Damien, is it?
Are you all wet?
Is your pussy all wet?
- ( phone hangs up )
- ( moans )
( doorbell rings )
- Who is it?
- Woman: It's your neighbor, Kristina.
( door squeaks open )
Hey, what's up?
Did you hear what happened
to Pedro?
- Who's Pedro?
- You know, the night doorman.
Oh, yeah. What?
He was found bludgeoned to death
in his apartment this morning.
- Ugh.
- Yeah. And supposedly...
- ...his penis was missing.
- Ugh!
Anyway, Carla in 2B, she's
collecting money for the funeral,
you know, if you feel like it.
Apparently he had no family.
No one, no friends.
If I'd had known.
I did always say "hi," I think.
Yeah, me, too...
If it's the guy
I'm thinking of.
By the way, I have an extra ticket
to the playoffs tonight.
Maybe you want to come with me?
Hah, uh... Thanks.
I've got too much work.
I just wanted to tell you
about Pedro.
- Thanks.
- Okay. See ya.
It seems the things
I've wanted in my life
I've never had
And so it's no surprise that
living only leaves me sad
Happiness, where are you?
I've searched so long
for you
Happiness, what are you?
I haven't got a clue
Happiness, why do you
have to stay...
So far away...
From me?
When I'm in despair and life
has turned into a mess
I know I don't dare to end
my search for happiness
Happiness, where are you?
( telephone rings )
Hello?
Hello. This is detective Berman
from the County Police Department.
I'd like to speak to
Miss Joy Jordan.
- This is she.
- I'm so sorry, I've got another call.
Hello?
Yeah, lieutenant.
Hi. How ya doing?
They pronounced the guy DOA.
The door was locked from
the inside.
All the property's here,
suicide note.
Looks like a pill vodka OD,
with a bag over his head.
Yeah.
Hi, Miss Jordan, I'm back.
I'm sorry to disturb you,
Miss Jordan.
But, ah...
I'm afraid I've got some
really bad news for you
in regards
to an acquaintance of yours
by the name of Andrew
Kornbluth.
( sobbing - sniffing )
Joy...
- ( sighs )
- Are you okay?
Yeah, sure. I'm fine.
What's the matter?
( sighs - sniffs )
Andy's dead.
- Andy?
- Yeah.
Who's Andy?
You know, the guy
who used to work...
right over
there in that corner.
- You mean where Pam's sitting?
- Yeah.
Was he kind of tall
and a little hunched?
No.
He was...
a little shortish.
A little squarish.
Joy, I'm not sure.
Did he work here long?
A year, maybe a little longer.
Kay...
Kay. Kay.
Do you remember a guy named
Andy who used to work here,
over where Pam is now?
No. Why?
What happened?
- He died.
- Huh.
- Which one was he?
- I'm not sure.
Maybe Tom knows.
Tom?
I'm sorry, I don't.
But you know,
I do remember a guy, vaguely,
who worked over there...
I think.
But, I'm not really sure.
How did he die?
Yeah, Joy, how did he die?
( phone beeps )
Sales, may I help you?
- Woman: Joy Jordan?
- Yes.
This is Andy's mother.
I hope you fucking rot in hell.
Joy, was he kind of
Latino looking?
And a little acne scarred?
Oh, yeah. You know, like uh,
what's-his-name.
- The actor...
- Yeah. Sure.
That was him.
- That's it. That actor.
- What's that actor's name?
- What actor?
- It has an A in it...
it's uh, oh you know,
something, something, something.
- Oh, I know.
- I can picture his face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
( begins to sob )
Joe something.
If I go thought the alphabet,
I can usually picture their name.
It's um...
Uh, I don't know why
I suggested this place.
Joy recommended it.
Well, at least we're together.
I never get to see you,
you're so busy.
- You're so busy.
- No, you are.
- No, you are.
- No, you are.
- I guess I am.
- Me, too.
If I have to do one more
interview...
I guess it's hard, huh?
Success.
I'm just so tired of being
admired all the time.
I mean all these men,
they're...
...they're beautiful,
artistic minds,
great sex, the whole package...
...but, hollow.
You know what I mean?
I feel nobody's honest with me.
Nobody wants me...
...for me.
They're not family.
Oh, Trish I wish I had
your life.
Husband, kids, carpool.
I may have it all.
But, I wonder what my life might
have been like if I'd actually,
tried to write a novel.
I'm sure it would
have been good.
Well, maybe I will write one.
You should.
Just try.
No. I don't need that kind
of success.
Listen to us...
we who have everything
while Joy...
- ...what does she have?
- ( sighs ) You're so right.
She's just getting older.
Last night she called while
I was in bed with Huraki...
I think.
She was in tears.
- She told me she quit her job.
- Oh, God, no.
That's her lifeline.
She said she wanted to change
her life.
Do "good." Work with the poor
and the needy.
I don't get it.
Don't even try.
She doesn't understand,
she is good.
She doesn't need to do good.
What about her music career?
I don't know.
But don't hold your breath.
Listen, anyway...
this is all top secret.
She doesn't want anyone to know.
( sarcastically )
Oh, but, she told you?
She felt she could trust me.
'Cause she always thought
I was someone
that she could confide in.
Did you speak to mom?
You mean about the split up?
Oh... I...
I thought that was
all top secret?
Just for Joy.
Sensitive Joy.
Everyone else knows.
Oh.
Waiter: Can I get you ladies
anything else?
- Coffee? Dessert?
- No thank you, just the check, please.
Thank you.
Thanks for lunch.
I really enjoyed this.
( pickets chanting ) Benefits!
Benefits! We want benefits!
Benefits! Benefits!
We want benefits!
You know, there are people
in real need in there.
The fucking management's
in there.
What about the refugees?
- What about our benefits?
- ( chanting continues )
I'm sorry. I think you're all
making a terrible mistake.
( crowd begins to chant )
Scab! Scab! Scab...!
( pickets heard outside )
That's so sad.
I mean, really, it's pathetic.
Such losers.
Really, I feel sorry for them.
- What is it? What happened?
- They called me a scab.
Oh, you're not a scab.
You're a strikebreaker.
- ( bell rings )
- Good luck.
Hello.
My name is Joy Jordan.
I am your new teacher.
- Now...
- You are scab.
( broken English )
Where Marsha?
Marsha? Well...
- Marsha...
- We want Marsha!
( class begins chanting )
We want Marsha! We want Marsha!
We want Marsha! We want Marsha!
We want Marsha! We want Marsha!
( shouts )
Quiet!
Please.
I am not a scab.
I am a strikebreaker.
( cheering )
All right.
Good job.
( cheering )
Don't fuck this up.
- Come on.
- Let's go, Johnny.
Come on. You can do it.
Bill, I don't know.
Maybe I should talk to you.
You're supposed to be a specialist
in these things, aren't you?
Well, I don't know.
That depends.
Look...
...my son's a fag,
I'm not blind to these things.
How come you're so sure he's...
...gay?
Are you kidding?
Well, it's just, sometimes
appearances can be deceiving.
And besides,
even if you're right,
there's not much
you can do... is there?
What do you think will happen
if I got him uh...
professional, you know?
A professional?
Hooker.
One that could
teach him things.
First-timers, you know...
break him in.
But, Joe...
he's eleven.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
It's too late.
He is what he is.
Forget I said anything.
Ah, dad, could Johnny
sleep over tonight?
Well, that's up to Joe.
Daddy, may I please sleep over
at Billy's tonight?
Sure. Sure. Whatever.
( cheering )
( scuffs )
Like girls.
( video game playing )
Come and get it.
Oh, Bill, you shouldn't have.
Here, take.
You only live once.
Billy.
- Here, Johnny.
- No, thank you, Dr. Maplewood.
Aren't you having any?
Johnny hates chocolate fudge.
Well...
Is there something
you'd like instead?
No, thank you, Dr. Maplewood.
What about something to drink?
Leave him alone, honey,
he's fine.
No. There must be something.
Do you have any grape Hi C?
Do we, Trish?
I'm afraid not.
- I'll go pick some up.
- Bill, don't be silly.
He doesn't need anything,
it's late.
Do you have any tuna salad?
Would you like a sandwich?
Yes, please.
We're going to bed.
Timmy can barely keep his eyes open.
You boys don't stay up
too late, huh?
Okay.
Here we are.
Hey, what happened to Billy?
I don't know.
I guess he just conked out.
Bedtime for Billy.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Aren't you gonna eat
the sandwich?
In a minute.
Take your time.
Is your game almost over?
This is the bonus round.
I... I have
some cereal or a hot dog?
No thank you.
Dr. Maplewood?
Yeah.
Would it be all right
if I ate this tomorrow?
Well... sure but...
I don't know if it's gonna
taste any good tomorrow.
How is it?
Actually, it's really good.
( birds chirping -
bicycle bell rings )
- Oh, honey, I feel so good.
- Me, too.
I don't think I've slept
this well in so long.
Me neither.
It's weird, I feel as if we...
Bill, did we?
Did you...?
Did I?
Yes.
I don't remember.
That's all right.
It doesn't matter.
It matters.
Forget about it.
Okay.
It's funny, I remember
I was dreaming.
And you were there...
and Billy and Timmy
and Chloe...
and Johnny Grasso.
Hmm?
I can't really remember
anything more.
Except...
I don't know.
Hmm?
Bill, please don't get
mad at me...
I know you hate
it when I ask...
Do you still...?
( exhales )
Yes.
- Very, very much.
- Oh, Bill.
I do too. I do too.
Sorry I need to keep
being reminded.
- It's just...
- I know.
We haven't been...
I know.
- I know. It's my fault.
- No, honey.
- It's my fault.
- No, I...
Trish: I know. I know.
Timmy: Die! Die! Die!
Trish: Timmy, stop that.
Where's Billy?
Watching TV.
How come you two aren't
playing together?
I don't know.
Billy said he didn't feel like it.
Hmm?
Dr. Maplewood?
Yes?
Can you drive me home now?
Well, sure, but...
...aren't you having
a good time?
I'm not feeling very well.
What's the matter?
l, I don't know.
I... ( gagging )
Oh...
All right.
Um...
I'll take you home.
Dr. Maplewood?
Yes, Johnny?
I'm sorry I threw up.
Don't worry about it.
'Cause I really had
a good time.
Good.
Billy did too.
We all did.
Dr. Maplewood?
Yes, Johnny?
You're so cool.
Billy: Dad?
Yes, Billy.
I was kind of wondering...
( sighs )
Yeah...?
Nothing.
Did you have fun with Johnny?
Yeah...
It was okay.
He's a little girlish, though.
Oh... yes.
Dad?
Do you know how many
inches your penis is?
I never measured.
'Cause...
Ronald Farber says his penis
is eleven inches long.
Do you think that's possible?
What Ronald Farber
doesn't know,
is that it's not length
that matters.
It's width.
Why?
Things get a little more...
intense.
What do you mean "intense?"
Have you been practicing?
Yeah. But...
it's no use.
Nothing comes.
You have to be patient.
Your friend Ronald Farber,
I can assure you,
is full of crap.
Yeah. I bet yours
is a lot wider.
And longer.
Do you want me to measure?
Nah, that's okay.
Hi. Ann Chambue.
- Mona Jordan.
- Wonderful. Come this way.
Okay.
I'm sorry to have kept
you waiting so long.
Can I get you some
coffee or tea?
No, thanks.
Okay.
Now then, how can I help you?
Oh, you said that there
might be something available
over in Elysian Fields?
Well, actually we have several
places we can see there.
First I need to get a bit
of information from you.
Are you looking for
a one, two or three bedroom?
- Three.
- Wonderful.
( keyboard clicking )
Is this for you
and your husband?
No.
Just yourself then?
Yes.
No children?
My children are grown.
No pets?
No.
Then just you alone
all by yourself?
( begins to sob )
Mrs. Jordan, is something
the matter?
My husband is leaving me.
I'm so sorry.
You know...
we have a lot of divorcees
in Phase IV.
Would you like to see
something there?
Perhaps a bit smaller?
Who said I was getting
divorced?
Ann: What you need
is a fresh start.
Mona: Yes. That's what
I'm looking for.
You know, I'm a divorcee.
- Oh.
- And I live in Phase IV.
Oh. I'm so sorry.
- Mrs. Jordan...
- Mona.
Mona. That's a beautiful name.
Thank you.
How long were you married?
Forty years.
You know, Mona, I ah...
I think we have
a lot in common.
Probably more than you realize.
See, I know what you're
going through, I've been there.
I'd like to share a little
secret with you.
Divorce was the best thing
that ever happened to me.
Really.
Don't worry, she's the
exception to the rule.
Everyone here is
much more youthful.
( siren sounds )
Lenny: Are you sure?
Let me show you something.
You see this?
You're the picture of health.
No tumors?
- Nope.
- How's the heart?
Like an ox, Lenny.
You'll live to be a hundred.
So I still have another
thirty-five years?
Just stay off the salt.
You bet.
Hi, Lenny.
Oh.
Hello, Diane.
Mind if I join you?
No.
No thanks.
How's Mona?
She's fine.
Why's she inside on such
a beautiful day?
I don't know.
What do you mean,
you don't know?
- I don't know.
- Whatever.
How are your girls?
Fine, I guess.
The grandchildren coming
to visit soon?
I don't know.
Look, Lenny...
I think you ought to know,
I heard about you and Mona.
About what?
That you're getting divorced.
- I really sorry.
- We're not getting divorced.
Divorced, separated, whatever.
It doesn't matter.
You're alone now.
Anyway...
if you ever need anyone
to talk to...
you know where to find me.
( engine accelerates )
( to herself ) Everything
I write is so shallow...
so superficial.
Can't anyone see through
my work?
It's inherent phoniness.
Rape at 11...
Rape at 12...
What the hell do I know
about rape?
I've never been raped.
I'm just another sordid
exploitationist.
If only I'd been raped
as a child.
Then I would know authenticity.
But instead...
( screams )
I'm no good.
No good.
Nothing. Nothing.
Zero. Zero.
( telephone rings )
Hello?
I know who you are
and you are nothing.
You think you
are fucking something,
but you are fucking nothing.
You are empty. You are a zero.
You are a black hole,
I'm gonna fuck you so bad
you'll be coming out of your ears.
( beeping )
( ringing )
- Data Resources.
- Who are you?
( breathing heavily )
( telephone rings )
- What do you want?
- I want you to fuck me.
I... uh...
I don't think I can do that.
I mean...
I don't think I can do that.
I gotta go.
- Call me tomorrow.
- All right.
Hey, Allen...
did you see the playoffs
last night?
Yeah. pretty good.
( chuckling )
Pretty good.
I was on my knees praying
for that shot.
It worked.
( laughs )
( muffled moaning heard )
( doorbell rings )
Who is it?
Who is it?
It's uh... me.
Kristina.
Hey...
- How's it going?
- Okay.
Um, I have some more
information about Pedro.
Pedro?
- Yeah, you know, the um...
- Oh, yeah.
What?
- Um, well...
- ( moans )
- Are you all right?
- No.
Pussy... Need pussy...
( begins to snore )
( snorts )
( gagging heard )
( throwing up )
( breathing heavily )
What the fuck
are you doing here?
Get out.
( shouts )
Get out!
Get out!
( door slams )
( sniffing )
Man: Joy!
Joy!
Joy! Joy!
I am Vlad,
your student.
Hello, Vlad.
How are you?
I am fine.
How are you?
Oh, fine. Fine.
( broken English )
I not believe you.
( begins to sob )
Really, Vlad. I'm fine.
I'm sorry... it's just
I'm a terrible teacher.
Everyone hates me and I should
have never left telephone sales,
because I was really
doing a lot more good then.
Where you are go now?
I'm just on my way home.
Tell me where do you live.
I take you home.
Oh no, I couldn't.
Joy.
Come in my cab.
- I give you ride.
- Vlad, no.
I like walking
and the train is nearby.
No. No train.
I drive you home.
I live in New Jersey.
- Good. I take you New Jersey.
- No, maybe you don't understand.
- New Jersey is far.
- Joy, you no understand.
Huh? I driver.
My taxi.
You come. You understand?
You come.
Are you sure you know...?
Vlad knows.
I love New Jersey.
Don't you miss Russia?
Fuck the cunt of Russia.
Well, I guess it's best
to feel that way.
Thank you for everything.
That was really very
nice of you.
I'm sorry about before...
that was very unlike me.
Do you think you'll need help
finding your way back?
Why you not married?
Oh... Vlad.
Our life is
so different in America.
Here a woman can, I know this
is difficult to understand, but,
a woman can fulfill
her potential.
Um...
there are opportunities
to do something...
...do good, really improve
the world.
Do you like men?
Yes.
But, it's not so simple.
Are you lesbian?
- No.
- It's all right.
If you are lesbian.
I like lesbian.
Vlad...
I'm sorry.
But, this conversation has
become a bit strange for me.
So thank you
for the ride, and...
Well, then, good night...
and um...
I'll see you in...
Would you like to come inside
for a cup of tea?
I'll go put the kettle on.
Oh, that's good...
Take your shoes off.
Make yourself comfortable.
It's my parents' place.
I plan on
moving out soon, though.
- How long you live here?
- Since I was born.
I find there are a lot of
advantages to not moving.
So...
What did you do in Russia?
- I was thief.
- Oh.
You mean the Mafia?
No.
Independent.
I steal things on my own.
Although I have many offers.
You are musician?
Oh, no.
I just write songs a little.
What kind songs?
I don't know.
They're so terrible.
Love songs.
- No.
- Play.
Oh, no.
I play.
So many nights
I sit by my window
waiting for someone
to sing me her song
So many dreams
I've kept deep inside me
alone in the dark
but now you've come along
You light up my life
You give me hope
to carry on
You light up my days
and fill all my nights
with song
And you light up my life
You give me hope
to carry on
You light up my days
and fill my nights
with song
It can't be wrong
when it feels so right
'cause you...
you light up my life.
Okay.
Okay.
I have to go now.
See you in class tomorrow.
( "You Light Up My Life" playing
- pickets chanting )
Good morning.
So, how's it going?
Oh, hi, Rhonda.
Your students treating you okay?
Oh, they're just great.
I hate to say this, but,
I told you so. ( laughs )
How about you?
How's your class?
Oh, my students
are such a hoot.
They're always telling
me how much they love me.
Actually, if you can keep
a secret,
there's this one...
( sighs ) Igor...
I've got such a crush on him.
- Oh?
- ( giggles )
Well, not that I'd ever...
I mean, especially the
Russians.
What?
- B.O.
- Really?
- Mine seem okay.
- You're very lucky.
- Rhonda?
- Yeah?
If your Igor...
used deodorant...
( broken English )
You teacher Vlad?
Yes.
( screaming )
Oh, my God.
That woman was crazy.
Joy, are you okay?
Yeah. I'm fine.
( class bell rings )
Joy...
you didn't...
did you?
- Mom?
- Yeah?
There's blood in my BM.
Can I stay home
from school today?
- Detective: How do you feel?
- Johnny: Okay.
Are you sure?
Yeah. I feel fine.
Maybe a little sore.
But...
I'm ready to go back to school.
That's good, Johnny.
Johnny, I have to ask you
a few questions. Is that okay?
Yeah.
When did you first
start feeling sick?
Yesterday.
What happened?
I threw up at my friend's house.
Johnny... he spent
the night there.
I thought that he had
a little virus.
Did you eat anything unusual,
Johnny?
Just a tuna sandwich.
He loves tuna salad.
I see.
Johnny, when did you
first notice the blood?
When I went to the bathroom
this morning.
Johnny, I have to ask you
a question
and it's very important that
you be honest, okay?
Uh-huh.
Johnny was there,
in the last day or two...
someone who hurt you?
No. I...
I don't think so.
But someone did hurt you?
No, Johnny?
No. No one hurt me.
( angrily ) What do you mean, no?
You've been fucking raped.
I'm sorry.
More potatoes, Bill?
Mmm. No thanks.
I got plenty.
The baby-sitter should be here
any minute now.
When does the PTA start?
We've still got about
a half an hour.
So, how did school go today?
Okay.
Was Johnny there?
No.
Oh, I sure hope the kids don't
catch whatever he's got.
( gagging )
Very funny, Timmy.
Now you're excused
and can go right to bed.
- But, mom.
- Yep.
Excuse me, Bill.
( telephone rings )
Hello?
Hi, Tawny, is there a problem?
( sighs )
Well, thank you for giving me
so much notice.
Well...
Uh-huh...
Yeah, sure, I'm sorry too.
Well maybe you could have
thought of that before.
Bye-bye.
Bill, I'm sorry you're going to
have to go by yourself tonight.
Isn't there someone else
you can get?
No, not at this late hour.
( sighs )
Come on. You're gonna come with
me right now and take a bath.
- But I'm not finished.
- Yes, you're finished.
- Let's go.
- Wait.
My Tamagatchi.
Get your Tamagatchi
and let's go.
Come on, mister, up the stairs.
Come on.
Timmy, please.
Come on.
Dad?
If you and mom died
in a plane crash,
would it be all right
if I took over?
Well... probably one of your
aunts would want to help out.
So, you don't think I'm old
enough to take care of myself,
Timmy and Clioe.
Well...
No.
Ronald Farber's parents are away
in Europe for a few days,
and Ronald gets to stay home by
himself without a baby-sitter.
So why do I need a baby-sitter?
Well, if you want to change
Clioe's diapers...
Well, if I didn't have any
little brother or sister,
would you let me stay alone
by myself for a few days?
Your mom and I are not
Mr. and Mrs. Farber.
We worry.
No.
What if I were twelve?
No.
Thirteen?
At thirteen I think
you'll be okay.
Can you promise?
As long as you don't look like
you're eleven.
I won't.
Okay.
Thirteen then.
Bill: Hello, in Roseland,
please.
I'm looking for the address
of a resident.
The name is Farber.
Thank you.
- Trish: Hon, is that you?
- Yes.
Did you remember the milk?
Yeah.
( television heard )
How was the meeting?
Fine.
Bill, are you all right?
I think I have to lie down.
Oh, shit.
I hope you're not coming down
with what Johnny Grasso had.
I don't think so.
I'll be up in a minute.
Dad?
Yeah?
I...
I almost came.
Trish?
Trish?
( moans )
Do you love me?
Oh, Bill.
- Yes.
- No, I mean...
...do you really love me?
No matter what?
No matter what.
Why?
No matter...
...whatever.
Bill, you have me.
You always will.
I'm sick.
Aww, honey.
Take some Tylenol.
You'll feel better tomorrow.
Mona: I met with Steven Zimmer
this morning.
- You like him?
- Yeah.
I'm gonna use him.
Good.
I'm gonna use Marty Blua.
Good.
I feel so much better now.
Well good.
It shouldn't take long.
Good night.
- Lenny?
- Yeah?
Can you sleep on the living
room couch?
Why?
Steven Zimmer thought
it would be a good idea.
Okay.
- Diane: Gin and tonic?
- Lenny: Okay. Thanks.
God, it's so bright outside,
it gives me a headache just
looking out the window.
Yeah, well they say
it's gonna rain tomorrow.
I don't want to talk about
the fucking weather.
Well it's good
for playing golf.
I hate that game.
It's so boring.
It passes the time.
I like to travel.
I went to Europe once.
Have you ever been to Tahiti?
No.
How about Tunisia?
- A night in Tunisia?
- ( laughs ) No.
Vincent never liked to travel.
I guess I'm like Vincent.
When I was a child I always
imagined that...
I'd marry the man
I fell in love with,
have a son and a daughter
who loved me
as much as I hated my mother,
then die...
tragically and suddenly.
Young and beautiful.
When Vincent left me
I imagined I'd finally be happy.
I guess you haven't lost
your imagination.
Lenny, I've got to get
out of here.
I can't breathe.
The women are pathetic gossips
and the men are...
Just pathetic.
I don't want to die here.
You just don't want to die.
Not alone.
Don't...
Don't feel guilty.
I don't.
I don't feel anything.
( telephone rings )
Helen: I have to see you.
( doorbell rings )
Who is it?
Kristina.
I'm sorry about last night.
Yeah. Uh, me, too.
I shouldn't have...
I understand.
I mean-- See, I can...
I can admit it.
That I'm fat...
and I'm ugly.
( sobs )
- No, no.
- Yes.
( sniffs ) Yes.
Thank you.
Say...
you wanna go somewhere?
( jukebox playing )
I like you.
I have a confession to make.
What?
Do you remember Pedro's penis?
You mean the one that...
that was...
cut off?
Well, it wasn't really cut off.
What happened to it?
Nothing.
I uh...
( sighs ) I don't understand.
Um...
why would you make something
like that up?
Was Pedro even killed?
How do you--
how do you know?
I tried so many times
to tell you,
but it's hard to, um...
I'd always been
very friendly to him.
I try to be that way
with all the doormen,
even thought they're usually
snickering behind my back.
I don't care.
I'm still friendly.
It's just my way.
But, um...
Pedro was different.
Pedro never snickered.
Of course, who was he
to snicker?
He wasn't exactly Tom Cruise.
Still, he could have,
but he didn't.
So anyway, one night...
I was coming home from the
Good evening, Miss Hope.
Hi, Pedro. Can you help me
with these bags?
No problem.
Thank you.
Normally I don't need any help,
but my back hurt because
the bags were heavy.
And I had...
a half-gallon of strawberry
ice cream...
two boxes of fudge
and a key lime pie.
And uh, I just couldn't wait
to get home
and get under the covers
and watch TV.
But, um...
I was in the elevator when
I first got this funny feeling,
like he was...
you know, kind of looking
at me funny.
And I thought maybe he was
just being friendly too.
I mean, you know,
just um, two friendly people.
( chuckles )
Um, would you mind putting
those in the kitchen for me?
No problem.
Thanks so much, Pedro.
No problem.
Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry.
Forget about that.
What I'd really like is...
a scoop of your ice cream
before I go back down.
Oh sure... please have a seat.
My wife died three years ago.
I feel...
...so lonely.
You are a beautiful woman,
Kristina.
You are so beautiful, Kristina.
( muffled screams )
( screams )
And the next thing I know...
...he's inside me,
you know, just pounding away.
Oh, Allen.
- Waitress: All finished?
- Allen: Yeah.
Would you like to see
a dessert menu?
What kind of ice cream
do you have?
Chocolate, vanilla
and strawberry.
Umm...
Okay then, I'll have a plain
chocolate fudge sundae
with strawberry ice cream.
Thank you.
And you, sir?
( sighs ) Just the check,
please.
So anyway, everything got
really quiet,
and then I thought, well okay,
at least the worst part
is over.
( breathing heavily )
How do you like it?
Kiss me again.
Kristina: But, that was just
an act.
I let him kiss me one last time,
and I grabbed ahold
of his neck,
- and I twisted it...
- ( cracking )
...backward.
- Here you are.
- Thank you.
And then I had to
cut up his body.
You know, plastic bag,
all the parts.
I've been throwing it out
gradually ever since.
There's still some left
in my freezer.
- So you did cut off his...
- No.
I left it attached,
I didn't want to touch it again.
( begins sobbing )
I feel so terrible.
You must think I'm a monster.
But what else could
I have done?
Anyway, I couldn't help myself.
I hate...
...sex.
I'm sorry, but just
the idea of it...
of someone all over...
inside of me.
I know it isn't right...
...but can we still be...
...friends?
Um...
I guess.
Yeah.
Uh, I mean...
we all have our...
( sighs ) you know...
our pluses...
and minuses.
It was a crime of passion.
I'm a passionate woman.
( sighs )
( rings )
Helen: I've had you
on auto-redial all night.
( doorbell rings )
Helen: Hello?
( door squeaks open )
Yes?
I'm the...
I'm...
I'm sorry?
Oh.
Come in.
Please...
have a seat.
Drink?
No. Thanks.
This is not working.
No.
You're not my type.
No.
( doorbell rings )
Can I come in?
( arguing in Russian heard )
( buzzes door )
I'm sorry.
I wanted to...
Here.
Vlad.
( speaking Russian )
Come inside.
Please.
Joy...
Why you are come here?
I came because
I wanted to say...
that I was sorry to your wife.
Zhenia is not my wife.
So you're not really married?
Zhenia love me.
It is problem.
She want be my wife, but...
she don't listen.
What can I do?
What can I do?
Come. You want I drive you
New Jersey?
- We go shopping.
- ( glass breaking/baby cries )
- No. I don't think that's...
- ( shouts in Russian )
Joy.
I must ask you question.
Yes?
I very ashamed.
I'm sure I'll understand.
Good.
Can I borrow money?
It's very important.
- How much?
- One thousand dollars.
All right. Five hundred.
I need money now.
I... I...
I guess I can go to
a cash machine.
Good.
I know where is ATM.
- Vlad?
- Yes.
Could I first,
have my guitar
and my CD player back?
Okay.
It is deal.
Do you think shopping mall
in New Jersey is open tonight?
Yeah. Probably.
Here.
I love you.
You love New Jersey.
I give you back Monday.
That's okay.
I um...
I probably won't
be there anyway.
Why no?
I don't know.
I think I now have more
sympathy for the strikers.
See ya.
Stupid American.
So, Billy...
how was school today?
Okay.
Ronald Farber was absent.
Oh?
He was afraid of the math test.
So he stayed home?
Yeah. He cut.
That's terrible.
His parents...
Um, they don't know yet.
They're still on vacation.
Oh, are they gonna be upset.
Well, Ronald's gonna be pretty
upset when he finds out
that the test was canceled.
What happened?
Mrs. Paley was absent also.
( chuckles )
Did you call Ronald
and tell him?
Yeah, but, there was no answer.
Was Mrs. Paley sick, then?
Well, everyone said she was
too strung out.
Why do people say things
like that?
Because she's...
a drug addict.
And how do you know?
Everyone knows.
Well, I didn't know.
Did you know, Bill?
No.
Did you hear that, Billy?
Well, it's what everyone says,
she's a junkie.
And she's probably
gonna get fired.
It's really sad.
Well, if Mrs. Paley turns out,
in fact, to be a junkie,
then she should be fired.
Don't you think so, Bill?
I don't know.
Don't you think that's...
a little harsh?
I mean, it's not
affecting her work.
Well, apparently it is.
No. In fact, I don't think
it's a little harsh at all.
I'm sorry, but when it comes
to drug abuse and children,
my children,
they should be locked up
and throw away the key.
I want you to know, if you ever
even think of doing drugs
and end up dying in a hospital,
I'd disown you. That's how
strongly I feel about it.
- Trish.
- No. I know I may sound harsh,
but I'm talking about our kids.
Not to be grandiose,
but this is the future...
the future of our country we're
taking about, after all.
( telephone rings )
Hello?
Who's calling, please?
Oh, hi.
Sure, hold on.
It's Joe Grasso.
Oh. Great.
Hey, Joe. What's up?
How's Johnny doing?
Joe: You're a dead man.
( phone hangs up )
Oh, good.
Good.
No problem.
Right.
Okay. Well, take care.
Bye.
Trish: How's Johnny doing?
Uh...
fine.
- Never better.
- Good.
We bought those
"Beauty and The Beast" tickets.
I don't think
Billy has anyone else.
No. He did cancel...
( doorbell rings )
- Who could that be?
- I'll get it.
- Who is it?
- Police.
- Can I help you?
- Are you William Maplewood?
Yes.
We're sorry to disturb you,
but we have some questions
for you and your wife.
It has to do with your son's
friend, Johnny Grasso?
Did something...?
Come this way.
Go ahead, please.
Thank you.
Sit, please.
Trish: Who is it?
We were just
finishing our dinner.
Umm...
I'll be right back.
( whispers )
The police.
You take care of the kids.
Sorry.
Now...
you said something about
Ronald Farber?
Excuse me?
I'm sorry, I mean,
I mean, Johnny Grasso?
Mom, I don't want to go.
We'll be right there.
Billy, come on,
the bus is here.
Come on. Honey,
please, not today.
- Wait!
- ( Timmy continues to shout )
I'll take you boys myself.
Dad?
Yes, Billy?
Everyone at school
is saying things about you.
( sighs )
Who is everyone?
Like, kids, you know.
Everyone.
What are they saying?
That... you're...
...a serial rapist.
And a pervert.
You mean, like what they
painted on the house?
( nervously )
Dad, did you, um...
uh...
with... Johnny Grasso
and Ronald Farber?
Yes.
What... did you do?
I touched them.
What do you mean,
exactly, touched?
I fondled them.
What for?
I couldn't help myself.
What else?
I...
I unzipped myself.
You...
you mean, masturbated?
No.
Then what?
I...
made love.
What do you mean?
I fucked them.
What was it like?
It was...
it was great.
Would you do it again?
Yes.
Would...
would you ever...
fuck me?
No.
I'd jerk off instead.
( begins sobbing )
Timmy: I don't wanna go.
Where are we going?
- Mom, I don't wanna go.
- Shh! Just get in the car.
Wait, my Tamagatchi.
My Tamagatchi.
So, who used to live
here before?
Another couple, the Heller's.
What happened to them?
They got divorced.
Anyway, the police came and
looked in her freezer
and found baggies filled
with the doorman's genitals.
- I use baggies.
- Me, too.
Everyone uses baggies.
That's why we can relate to this crime.
- Don't you see?
- I can't relate to it.
In any case,
there's this guy I've met, Joy,
that I'd think you'd like.
He's in computers,
I think.
- How did you meet him?
- He's a neighbor of mine.
You want to call him, or should
I give him your number?
I'll call him.
That'll be great.
I think he'll really like that.
- What about me?
- I'm looking. I'm looking.
I like computers.
Trish, trust me on this one.
He's not for you.
And what about me?
I haven't forgotten, mom,
it's just...
it's hard.
But, I'm looking for everyone.
Well, don't look for me.
- Have you found somebody?
- No. There's no one.
I heard Diane had a stroke.
She'll recover.
Um, well that's good.
Where there's
life there's hope.
That's right.
- You bet.
- Absolutely.
Yeah.
Could you pass the sweet
potatoes, please?
Here.
Did anyone watch Leno
last night?
Mona: Timmy. Oh, Timmy.
Timmy, come over
and sit on Grandma's lap.
Timmy. Timmy, what?
- Timmy?
- ( door closes )
What's the matter with Timmy?
His Tamagatchi died.
Tamagatchi?
Helen, so what's gonna happen
to that woman
who killed your doorman?
I don't know, mom.
It's so sad.
She's all alone.
I just wish I'd gotten to
know her better.
We might have found we had
something in common.
Maybe you'll write
a poem about her.
( laughs )
Joy, I'm so sorry.
But...
don't worry.
I'm not laughing at you.
I'm laughing with you.
But I'm not laughing.
( breathing heavily )
( breathing rapidly )
Let's make a toast.
- To happiness.
- To happiness.
To happiness.
Kookie.
Kookie.
I... I came.
It seems the things I've wanted
in my life, I've never had
So it's no surprise
that living only leaves me sad
Happiness where are you?
I've searched so long for you
Happiness what are you?
I haven't got a clue
Happiness why do you
have to stay...
so far away...
from me?
When I'm in despair
and life has turned into a mess
I know that I don't dare
to end my search for happiness
Happiness where are you?
I've searched so long for you
Happiness what are you?
I haven't got a clue
Happiness why do you
have to stay...
so far away...
from me?
Happiness sometimes
I think I see you from afar
When I run to catch you though,
that's just not where you are
Happiness sometimes
I think I see you from afar
When I run to catch you though,
that's just not where you are
Happiness you know I'll
get a hold of you some way
Till I do you know I'll
keep on searching everyday
Happiness where are you?
I've searched so long for you
Happiness what are you?
I haven't got a clue
Happiness why do you
have to stay...
so far away...
from me?
Gonna find it
Gonna find it
Gonna find my happiness
Gonna find it
Gonna find it
Gonna find my happiness
Gonna find it
Gonna find it
Gonna find my happiness
Gonna find it
Gonna find it
Gonna find my happiness
When I'm in despair
and life has turned into a mess
I know that I don't dare
to end my search for happiness
Happiness where are you?
I'm gonna get to you
Happiness what are you?
I'll know before I'm through
Happiness you
know you just can't stay...
so far away... from me
Happiness where are you?
I'm gonna get to you
Happiness what are you?
I'll know before I'm through
Happiness you know
you just can't stay...
so far away...
from me
Happiness where are you?
I'm gonna get to you
Happiness what are you?
I'll know before I'm through
Happiness where are you?
I'm gonna get to you
Happiness what are you?
I'll know before I'm through
Happiness where are you?
I'm gonna get to you
Happiness what are you?
I'll know before I'm through
Happiness where are you?
I'm gonna get to you
Happiness what are you?
I'll know before I'm through.