Lage Raho Munna Bhai (2006) Movie Script

Whatthe hell!
Hey! Hey!
I need to get my car out!
Where are you going? Hey!
How have you parked? Hey! Hey!
You coming in or going out, pal?
What the hell are you doing?
You're the one sneaking in!
Stealing the radio?
Help! Help!
Stop howling, you wuss!
Think I'm gonna molest you?
Do you know who I am?
- Nope! Who are you?
G.S. Gaitonde.
Deputy Chief Engineer.
Mr. Muncipality!
Such a big shot stealing my radio?
Who are you people?
Do you know what I can do?
I can shut down your business.
Cancel your license.
One bullet left.
"Every question you ask,
I pull the trigger. "
Where are you taking me?
Keep asking. Ha, this is fun!
- Where to, Boss?
Stop asking questions, you idiot.
Ah! Finally he understands.
Alam, let's go to
Lucky Singh's office.
Hey Photo-Studio.
Print under the photo...
"Mr. Lucky Singh,
President Mumbai Builder's Association
with Mr. George Bush,
President of America. "
But Mr. Sir, you've never been
to America!
No! But George Bush must've
come to India.
Delete the White House.
Paste my farmhouse.
Use your un-common sense,
you twerp!
Mr. Sir, Circuit's here.
- Lovely-dovely!
You don't take my calls these days.
- Call him now. He'll pick up.
Circuit, you 're rockiing!
Cuckoo, move aside...
Yes, Sir.
- Look, there's nothing...
I can do for you.
- Why?
Last time, you took permission for
8 floors... and built 11!
My math is terrible!
I'll lose my job because of you.
The hell with your 10,000 rupee job.
Heard of Khurana Builders?
- Yes.
My daughter is engaged to
Mr. Khurana's son.
Khurana's bought all the property
behind Versova Pump.
Except this yellow house.
I promised them I'd get it.
A wedding gift for my daughter.
That house has a 99 year lease.
The lease expires next month.
- It will be renewed.
Don't send them the renewal papers.
Let them default.
I can't do that.
I've given them my word.
Get that house, Gaitonde.
Wallet or Bullet. You choose.
Name your price.
- 10! That's it?
Take 20!
Cuckoo, bring me 20,000.
Crisp new notes. Happy?
- No. No... 10 million.
30 thousand.
- 9 million.
You're off?
The gun's in my hand.
That man there breaks
a couple of bones daily!
What a break!
- Show some fear, pal.
Ok, Lucky.
Lets meet halfway!
5 million.
- Lovely-dovely! Halfway is right!
2.5 million.
The deal is done!
Let's celebrate! Get something sweet!
- Yes Sir.
With best compliments.
You gotta give Munna the good news!
We have a house to vacate.
Munna doesn't work between 9 and 12.
- Wakes up late?
He doesn't sleep. He's in love.
Spends the day by the sea side!
How embarrassing! Ask loverboy to use
one of my motels!
You don't get it. He sits by the sea
and listens to the radio.
Radio? What's on the radio?
My future Sister-in-law.
Good morning Mumbai...
"This is Jhanvi, on World Space radio.
Before I sign off,... "
"here are my parting thoughts... "
"For all those rushing around
this crazy city... "
"Is this the way we mean to live?"
"Is this the way we wish to die?"
"Has the monsoon
delayed your train?"
"When was the last time
you walked in the rain?"
"You know your favorite soap's
"But have no time for
your mother's concerns. "
"Why don't we stop to feel
the sand between our toes?"
"Why don't those 108 channels
wipe away our woes?"
"You, who connects
at the click of a mouse,"
"Do you know who lives in
the neighboring house?"
"In this era of emails and mobiles,"
"When did you last see your
best friend's smile?"
"When did you see your last sunset?"
"When did you see the stars
come out at night? "
"For all those rushing around
in this crazy city... "
"Is this the way we mean to live?"
"Is this the way we wish to die?"
"So, good bye Mumbai... "
Bye-bye, Jhanvi.
- "Tune in again. "
Hundred percent.
- "Same place... "
Right here.
- "Same time. "
Very same time.
"So friends, don't worry
be happy... Sayonaara. "
"Remember, tomorrow is Oct 2."
"We have the Mahatma Gandhi
Quiz Contest"
"The winner will be invited
to our studio... "
"... for a chat with me!"
"So, good bye! Remember to tune
in tomorrow at 9 a. m.!"
- Hey, Circuit!. What's on 2nd Oct.?
It's a dry day, bro.
Need me to stock up on booze?
A dry day? Why?
No clue.
But don't worry, I'll find out...
Bro, it's Bapu's happy birthday.
Who's 'Bapu '?
Mahatma Gandhi... respectfully called 'Bapu '!
- The guy whose mug is on currency notes?
That's the dude!
- Tell me more...
Don't know much, Bro.
He was skinny but brave.
He got the Brits out.
Got us our freedom.
Was he in the army?
Never seen him in uniform.
There's a 'Bapu quiz' on radio tomorrow.
If I win, I get to meet Jhanvi.
My future sis-in-law?
"Consider it done, bro. "
Hey, Circuit.
- Yes, bro.
What shirt should I wear?
Why worry about a shirt, Bro?
You'll be on the radio, not TV.
Focus on your voice,
on what you say.
Use a bass voice.
Chicks love deep voices!
The rest, I'll handle.
Ms. Jhanvi,
This is Murli Prasad Sharma speaking.
I'm fine, thank you. How are you?
Guys, don't panic. It's easy.
Sis-in-law will ask questions on Bapu.
Every right answer wins you a prize!
This is not right!
I'm late for my lecture.
- Listen, Professor, leave now...
...and this guy pays your wife
a friendly visit.
Can we take anything we want?
Answer right and take whatever.
The grinder, the pan, the vase...
Ms. Jhanvi,
your voice drives me fricking crazy.
Don't say 'fricking', bro.
She'll think you 're a punk!
Use the Professors's lingo.
Start dialing, you frickin ' cretins!
Keep trying till you connect.
No one else should get through.
Married? Not yet.
Actually, Ms Jhanvi...
...I haven't met Miss Right yet.
- Hey turn up the radio!
"The first caller who gets
all 10 correct answers, wins!
Get ready to call.
The number is 22666888.
My first question.
"What was Mahatma Gandhi's nickname
in South Africa?"
It's connected!
- Give him the phone, moron.
"Wow! Our first caller... Hello.. "
- Hello.
'All lines in this route are busy.
Please try again later'
Try this one.
"Who is this?"
- It's me, Murli Prasad Sharma.
"So Murli, what's the right answer?"
- Go on.
- Tell me the answer, you idiot..
"Bro"! "Bro"!
- Speak up, or I'll smack you.
Gandhi was addressed as
'Brother' by his friends.
"You have 10 seconds, Murli. "
- Are you sure?
- You better be. Or my Bro will get you.
100% sure.
in South Africa, Gandhi was... "
'Addressed As'...
- ... addressed as 'Brother'.
"That's the right answer.
"Now I'll keep going
till you get it wrong. "
No chance of that Ms Jhanvi.
"We'll see. Second question... "
"Name Gandhi's children. "
Rajiv Gandhi. Indira Gandhi.
- Awesome!
The eldest was Harilal...
Harilal, Manilal, Ramdas and Devdas.
But I wanted the rice cooker, Bro.
- Harilal, Manilal...
- Ramdas...
- And Devdas.
"Wow, that's absolutely right. "
Thank you... thank you...
- "Now the third question. "
"What weapons did Gandhi have,
that Hitler didn't?"
The ironing press!
Are you sure?
He had truth and non-violence.
I'll have the iron!
Truth and non-violence.
"Well done!"
"At what age did Gandhi marry?"
- 13.
Thirteen years. Watch these...
And... Kasturba was 13 as well.
Bro and his wife were both 13
when they married.
What a tragedy.
Our bro is still single.
"What's all that noise?"
My family. They're upset.
They feel Bapu married at 13...
high time I married too.
- This is all very wrong...
Shut up! Circuit!
- I'm going to call the cops!
Hey Notebook! What's your name?
Professor Venkatesh Vattikutti.
"Look here, Vattikutti,
we should help each other. "
You know about Gandhi. We don't.
"Now, if you wanna know about... "
Franky four-fingers, Bullet-tooth Tony,
Boris 'the blade'...
come to me. I'd never say no.
Knowledge must be shared.
This is wrong. Very wrong.
I'll call the police.
Aw! You got your clothes all wet...
- This is unpardonable.
Hey, dry clean this dude!
"And this year, our first caller... "
"... Mr Murli Prasad Sharma, wins. "
You see, Ms. Jhanvi...
I'm a big Bapu fan.
"Well Murli, tomorrow you will visit
our Studio. "
"I so look forward to meeting you. "
Me too.
Good bye, Mr. Sharma
- Good Bye, Ms. Jhanvi.
What does she look like, Brother?
- He's never seen her.
What if she's short?
- What if she's fat?
Brother, what if your nightingale
looks like a crow?
"O' what a delicious plight,... "
"I wonder what my lady's like?"
"O' what a delicious plight,... "
"I wonder what my lady's like?"
"Is she pretty? Does she glow?"
"There's only one way to know... "
"Get in the fight, Bro!"
"Even in my sleep she gleams,... "
"She gives me 'to be continued' dreams,... "
"Even in my sleep she gleams,... "
"She gives me 'to be continued' dreams,... "
"My brain's turned to jelly, or so it seems!"
"There's only one way to know, bro!"
"O' what a delicious plight,... "
"I wonder what my lady's like?"
"Is she pretty? Does she glow?"
"There's only one way to know... "
"Get in the fight, Bro!"
"Will someone put me out of my misery,... "
"Tell me is she simple, or a bag of trickery?"
"Will someone put me out of my misery,... "
"Tell me is she simple, or a bag of trickery?"
"Will my mom get a hug,... "
"... or a cold "wassup"?"
"There's only one way to know, bro!"
"O' what a delicious plight,... "
"I wonder... "
"... what my lady's like?"
"Is she pretty? Does she glow?"
"There's only one way to know... "
"Get in the fight, Bro!"
Hey Miss Inquiry.
Where's Sister-in-Law?
- Ms. Jhanvi. Myself Murli Prasad Sharma.
Contest winner.
- He won. Gold medallist!
She's waiting for you. Over there.
Can't hear you!
Who's this?
- I'm Murli Prasad Sharma.
Where are you speaking from?
From right here.
"Ma'am, I'm calling from Chembur. "
So what song would you like?
"Ek Ladki ko dekha toh... "
- Alright my friend from Chembur...
...your song's up
right after this commercial break.
Hey, Circuit! Let's scoot!
"What happened, Bro?"
- Can't meet her.
"Why, Bro?"
I shat all over my first impression!
I yelled through the sound-proof glass.
She must think I'm such an "Uncle. "
Don't say "Uncle", bro. Say Bapu.
Father. Father of the nation.
Hey Leakage! Piss off!
Emergency meeting on. Get out!
We're doomed, pal.
- What happened, Bro?
Wasn't she pretty?
- She's gorgeous.
Sparkling eyes.
And what do you call that hair
that hangs down on the face?
- No, man!
Lock. Lock. A lock of hair.
That's it man.
A lock of hair caressed her cheek.
Then? Then?
- She lifted it and...
tucked it behind her left ear
That just floored me.
You're as good, Bro!
You've floored many
with your left hook.
Now... meet her with full confidence...
and talk to her graciously.
- Who's Gracious Lee?
Graciously means... in Hindi...
Got it from that Professor guy.
"Said, Gandhi achieved great things
just by being gracious"
Ass. Can't you wait?
Now I ask graciously.
Hold it a while.
Don't mess up our meeting!
I request you... whats that?
- Graciously...
Request you graciously.
Be gracious... success is yours.
Yeah. Go on.
- Bro, watch your language.
For instance, don't say,
'doomed the nation '.
"Say, 'the nation is woebegone'."
Throw some big words around.
"Like metaphysical, soul levitation,
change of heart. "
Tell me more...
- Don't say much about Bapu.
We'll be doomed.
"That is, we'll be woebegone. "
Are you Murli Prasad Sharma?
I'm gracious.
So who's Murli Prasad Sharma?
- I am.
So who's Gracious?
- Who the hell do you want, man?
Murli Prasad Sharma.
Ms Jhanvi's looking for him.
Step aside, you stupid "Uncle".
Turn up the radio.
Brother's on - LIVE!
Good morning Mumbai!
Welcome back to your favourite show.
Today we have Mr. Murli Prasad Sharma
in the studio.
How are you so knowledgeable
about Gandhi?
I'm a huge Bapu fan.
What a dude!
Single handedly threw the Brits out!
Doomed them!
No, no... not doomed. 'Woebegone'
What a man... class.
Is that our Munna I hear?
- Yes, sir.
Turn it up.
Do you think Mahatma Gandhi
has been forgotten today?
Not at all. Oct 2nd is still
a Dry Day in his honour.
Makes no difference,
I never touch liquor.
No. Jokes apart,
do you still walk his path?
Oh I do a daily 3 mile walk...
...on Mahatma Gandhi Road.
- I mean, do you follow his principles?
Totally! I'm a Number One Gandhi-ist!
You mean, you're a 'Gandhian', right?"
- You bet! And you?
Not really.
But I admire some of his values.
- Like, I never lie.
We have a lot in common...
...we must meet more often.
- You mean, you never lie?
Well, I did once. In 1992.
A kid lost 50p and was howling!
I gave him my own coin,
and told him it was his.
Mark my words. He will be a politician.
So tell me, what do you do?
I'm a... Professor!
- Yup. I teach kids History.
But your... language?
What to do?
Our language is doomed.
I mean, our language is 'woebegone'.
Nobody speaks pure Hindi anymore.
Having a 'change of heart' means...
...'heart transplant' to them!
So you deliberately speak a lingo
your students understand?
Correct! That's why my students
always come first.
No one comes in second.
- Well, then I'll speak like you too.
Which song can I play
for your students, 'Uncle'?
Any hit cabaret song!
Fantastic show! Really, Professor!
I hope my children heard it.
You have children?
- Yes. six of them!
We gotta go, Bro.
I'm Sir Kit!
The Professor's student!
Oh right. Pull up a chair. Please sit.
But Bro, kids...
- Sit. Sit.
Meet my children. Cute, aren't they?
Yes, yes.
- Oh, yeah. Very nice.
Like you, they are 'Gandhi-ists'.
Who are these guys?
- My grandfather's college friends.
When their kids disown them,
Grandpa adopts them!
They all live in your house?
Grandpa calls it
the '2nd Innings Home'!
How wonderful!
- He says 'This is our last innings.
Let's play with gusto. '
- Correct!
Your Grandad sounds like a stud!
I should meet him. "
"Actually, could you give them
a lecture on Gandhi?"
A lecture on Gandhi..?
Yes. They will love it.
How about Friday?
You have college.
- Then, Saturday?
You have a tutorial!
- So Sunday.
Sunday done.
That's great! I'll see you on Sunday.
I have to rush.
My 7th kid arrives today.
Bye. See you...
- Thank you. Thank you...
Dad, I hope you understand.
This separation will be good for you
and your daughter-in-law!
Don't worry, son. I'll be fine.
I have friends here.
"You look after your wife.
She's with you for a lifetime. "
I don't have much longer...
Should I see you in?
No. I'll find my way...
Dad, dad I'm getting
very late... Ok.
Visit when you find the time.
I brought up 4 sons in one room.
Today, they have 4 houses.
But not one room for me.
You've been going on for 2 hours.
It's the same story. Nothing new.
Look at him... crying like a chick!
If we all cry like that,
we'll solve the country's water crisis.
Give this cranky fossil
the corner room!
How can you find this funny?
No serious talk is allowed
in 2nd Innings House!
Second Innings House?
- Look Atmaram...
the 1st innings of our lives
was spent making a living.
"Now, in our 2nd innings, either we die
complaining or find a reason to live. "
I wish to fly in a plane.
Before I die, I want to visit Lahore.
Relive old memories.
I want to become a singer.
I want to see my face on an
album cover, before I die.
Before I die, I want to marry again.
Think you could raise your racquet
at this age?
I've been practicing!
To elevate your minds, I have invited
a Professor over on Sunday.
He will lecture you on Gandhian values.
You all need it.
No tension, Bro. The Professors
will write out answer chits.
Stick them on your arms,
pockets, underwear...
In my underwear?
So I dig into my pants
to answer a question?
True. That would look weird, Bro.
How about the phone then?
Each time they question you... me from the loo. I'll get
the Professors to supply answers.
They'll think
I have a super freaky bladder!
This isn't going to work.
Then, there is only one way.
Is there no other way?
Well, there's this really cute chick
in another radio station!
She yaps about Brad Pitt
all the time!
Her 'kids' are bound to be
Redford fans - we'll handle that!
Shut up! Let me think.
Bro, there's no way out.
You have 5 days to study
every detail on Bapu.
Ok. I'm off.
- Alright, Bro.
Bro, focus on your study.
I'll handle the business. No tension.
Hey, hand on!
You go on, Bro...
Hello? Anyone there?
I'm Hariram!
May I assist you in any way?
Will I find
some information on Bapu here?
What's wrong?
Been years, since we've had a visitor.
I'm delighted.
Every book on Gandhi is available here.
Feel free to read them all!
I'll get you some tea.
Hell, huge fat books!
"Wearing glasses, leaning on a stick
the old man walked tall. "
Tyrants shivered at
the very mention of his name.
"We salute you, O Motherland,
for giving us this fearless man. "
"Short he may have been,
but sprightly was his gait. "
"Lean and thin was he,
but fearless his stride. "
"We salute you, O Motherland,
for giving us this fearless man. "
Who's that?
- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.
Dude, I've been up 3 nights...
So don't mess with me else...!
Or else, would you do?
- Just let me study!
Or else... what? You'll hit me?
Hit me on my left cheek, and I will
offer you my right, Mr. Professor.
Who told you I was a Professor?
Your tea!
Give it to that Fancy Dress.
Tell him to be quiet.
- That Bapu wannabe!
- Right there. Can't you see him?
This place attracts all loonies.
Who are you?
- You can call me Bapu.
Hey, don't touch me!
Don't be afraid.
I've never hurt anyone!
Dude, I don't want no trouble!
Are you a ghost?
Spirit, no. Inspiration, yes.
I don't get you, Bro.
Not Bro. Bapu. Father.
I see you love Jhanvi.
Going to her house on Sunday, right?
How do you know? Hariram!
"Don't be afraid, Son.
I'm here to help. "
If you are scared, I will leave.
Whenever you need me,
think about me, and I will be there.
What's wrong, son?"
- Who's that there?
Who's there?
'Hallucinations'?. What's that?
Extreme fatigue or
a chemical imbalance can trigger...
...imaginary voices or visions!
That's hallucinations.
But I saw him clearly.
I tell you, it was Bapu's ghost.
Then why couldn't
the "Tea-Boy" see him?
The ghost decides who sees him.
Depends on his mood.
For 3 days, you had no sleep,
no food, no water. "
Your tired mind
probably imagined Gandhi there.
Are you implying I'm going mad?
Don't worry. Take this medicine, okay?
Wait. Bapu said,
if I think of him, he would come.
Let me try.
How are you, Murli Prasad?
Don't touch me!
Don't be afraid, son.
I'm here to help you. "
Look! It's Bapu.
You can't call me mad now.
There's no one there, Mr Sharma
- But I see Bapu clearly.
It's all in your imagination.
Circuit, you see Bapu, don't you?
Hello, Bapu!
What an appearance you made last time!
Freaked brother out,
and he doesn't get freaked easily!
Hey, Circuit...
Bapu is here.
Just getting him some water, Bro.
Need anything, Bapu?
Tea, coffee, a soda?
What's this nonsense?
Don't reinforce his hallucinations. "
Hey, don't piss me off? If brother sees Bapu,
then he is real - get it?
I'll whack you so hard,
you'll see stars in the day.
That's hallucinations!
Bro, you relax here with Bapu.
I'll handle this chap.
You mental hospital.
What are you trying to do?
I know there is no Bapu.
Don't go on about it.
Brother will go nuts.
Gimme the medicine.
I'll give it to him.
Hey, Circuit!
- Yeah, Bro?
How come only you and me see Bapu?
Bro, it's your solid will power.
You brought Bapu out of the books.
Like Alladin's genie.
And since I took you to the Library,
so Bapu said hello to me too. "
"No tension Bro. Once he sees India's
dismal state,...
he'll leap back into the books.
What's troubling you, Bro?
Bapu said he was here to help me.
Lucky wants us to grab that house.
Should we send Bapu?
It's time for your pills, bro!
Murli Prasad!
Mohandas at your service.
Hey, Bapu...
Where's that bottle?
I need your help.
If you need to kidnap or whack someone,
I can't help.
I am rather weak in that department.
No, no I can manage that just fine.
Come with me to Jhanvi's house.
Like this... Invisible!
When they question me about you,
whisper the answers in my ear.
My history is rather weak.
If I do this, then you must
do something for me in return.
"I'll do anything you say, Bapu.
Just help me tomorrow. "
First listen to what I want.
Relax, Bapu.
I've given my word. I promise.
What I will ask is not easy.
There's nothing in Mumbai
that I can't do.
Consider your job done.
Good. Then I shall leave.
Think of me tomorrow.
I will be there.
Hey, Circuit.
- Got it!
I'm gonna rock!
The oldies can question me on history.
I'll have History by my side.
Thank you. Thank you.
Professor, I have a question.
- Just a minute.
Before we start the questions,
let us remember Bapu.
Bapu! You 're here! Thank you.
Help me, okay?
Alright everyone, enough singing.
Let's have your questions.
Fire away.
Son, I saw a boy chucking stones
at Gandhi's statue. He broke the arm...
...and stood there laughing.
What should I have done?"
Quite simple. Drag the rascal to
the statue and give him a...
and give him a stone and tell him
to topple the statue.
What you saying, Bapu?
- Repeat what I say.
Are you sure?
You should've told him
to strike down the statue.
Bring down all my statues
in the country.
Bring down every Gandhi statue
in the country.
Remove my pictures from every wall.
Remove Gandhi's photos from the walls.
Erase my name from buildings,
roads, currency.
Remove his name from buildings,
roads, notes.
If you must, keep me in your heart.
If you must honour Bapu,
then keep him in your heart.
Here in your heart.
He's done so much for us.
Been jailed, fasted,
even took 3 bullets.
And what have we done for him?
Reduced him to a wall hanging.
A mute witness to our corruption.
He dreamt of a 'fantastic' India,
but we've ruined the country.
No, Son, its not that bad.
We have progressed.
Progress, my foot!
We have taps, but no water.
Bulbs, but no electricity.
Craters on roads,
hawkers on sidewalks.
Make a train reservation,
get wait-listed.
Get a confirmation,
the train is cancelled.
Go to a hospital, no bed.
Get a bed, no doctor.
Who do you complain to?
The politician sends you to the clerk.
The clerk's always in a meeting.
Call him at home, he's in the bath.
Finally get through, he wants
your application in duplicate.
Then the application goes
round and round and round...
...If Bapu were here around today,
he'd say,...
'We won our freedom,
but lost our people'.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
come here. "
You love her, don't you?
- I can see it in your eyes!
You see what?
- Looking London, but talking Tokyo!
You speak to us, but gaze at her!
I have a problem with my eyes.
Oh! So you 're shy... like me!
What do you mean?
This is Tina.
My college sweetheart.
Wanted to marry her
but my father refused.
So I married Feroza.
Now after 50 years, I met Tina again.
She is a widow.
...I'm a widower!
so marry her, dude!
- But my kids say,...
Don't embarrass us, dad'. First
my father objected, now my children.
So I left home
and came here to live my own life!
What's the problem now?
- How do I tell Tina 'I love you '?
Does she 'I love you' too?
I think so!
Look, it was taken 50 years ago!
Hey, this is the same car.
Yes. That day, it rained heavily.
Tina and I were in the backseat.
I kissed her. She ran off embarrassed.
Anytime you want to use the car,
feel free.
Isn't this is a lovely car, Murli?
We've called it the 'Kissing Car'.
Want to know why?
Why don't you two go for a drive?
"Wassup, Bro...?"
"Your smile's wider than the Ganges"
"Wassup, Bro...?"
"C'mon, Bro... "
"C'mon... "
"C'mon, Bro... "
"C'mon... "
"You gotta tell me, man!"
- Get the cards printed. "
"C'mon, Bro... "
- Where's my Tuxedo?"
"The deal's done!"
"I said, the... deal... is... done!"
"The deal's done!"
"Start at the beginning, Bro!"
"From the top!
So where did you go?"
"The question is not 'where',... "
"it's 'how'... "
"How, Bro?
- In the Kissing Car, dude!"
"Ok, I've heard of side-car,... Nascar...
... Madagascar... even Oscar!"
"What the heck is a Kissing Car?"
"One in which you kiss, moron!"
"So I found... "
...a Kissing Car... "
"... and we melted like candy bars!"
"But Bro, didn't the driver peep?"
"A 100 rupee bill made him crawl... "
"... promptly heard the nature's call!"
"You're a genius!"
"Go on...?"
"A kiss here,... "
"... a cuddle there. "
"She said, 'Munna, you 're my teddy bear!"
"Really, Bro?"
"It's signed, sealed, delivered, buddy boy!"
"It's signed, sealed, delivered, buddy boy!"
"So then where'd you go?"
"The movies?
- No, dude!"
"Chinese food!
- Nope,... "
"to the Circus!
- Why?"
"To pay the lion a visit, dude!
- Huh?"
"The ring master thanked me for the money... "
"... cracked the whip on the lion's fanny... "
"What happened then, Bro?"
"The lion's roar... "
"... got me a hug so good... "
"I said to Leo, "Once more, dude?"
"Awesome! You called him 'dude'?"
"Her hug was so damn electric... "
"Circuit, my heart went ballistic!"
"Really, Bro?"
"It's signed, sealed, delivered, dude!"
"It's signed, sealed, delivered, dude!"
"Hey, Circuit!"
"The deal's done!"
"Did it really happen, Bro?
- Yup!"
Freaky! Any song I sing,
Bapu arrives.
You are singing a love song, while
Jhanvi has fallen in love with someone else.
- An intellectual, honest man!
"Who is he, Bapu?"
A professor...
What's his name?
I'll whack the daylights...
Professor Murli Prasad Sharma.
Hey Bapu. Teasing me, are you?
No Son, it's true.
She loves the Professor
you pretend to be. Not you.
Tell her the truth tomorrow.
If you keep lying,
she will leave you one day.
"If I tell her the truth,
she will leave me tomorrow!
You promised you would do
one job for me?
Give me any other job, Bapu.
I can't do this.
This is all I want.
Live truthfully.
Circuit, take Bapu home.
Okay Bapu, let's go.
This is Mumbai city.
Must not roam alone at night.
Hey Circuit!
- Yeah, Bro!
Why are you looking that way?
Bapu is here.
Speak the truth and
live with pride, son.
Bapu, don't wander around.
The last train's gone.
Now we'll have to take a cab.
Circuit, you 're drunk.
Hold Bapu's hand and take him home.
Can't see the man,
how will I see his hand.
Found him! Off we go!
Bapu, don't wander at night.
Not good for health.
Get dark circles under the eyes.
Come sit.
Okay! Bye-bye.
Drop him off, please.
Whom should I drop?
- How the heck should I know?
Your chosen path will
show you suffering, son.
You'll need me some day.
Till then, good bye.
- 'Hello... '
- Hi, Murli! Are you at the college?
Yes. I'm giving a lecture.
Guess what! I'm in your college.
- To meet the Principal.
Come over. I'll tell you.
- I'll come.
But don't meet the Principal.
- Why?
I'll finish my lecture and
see you at the cafeteria!
Ok, relax! I'll wait here for you!
Circuit, we have an emergency!
Eh! Let me carry that.
Hello Jhanvi.
- Hi Murli...
Ok, the Principal is
slimmer than a leech!
He's also a crazy amnesiac...
He looked at me once and asked,
'Who are you?'
Relax, don't get so excited.
Excuse me...
- Hang on, I'm busy!
Rascal. Skipping classes again?
Come in, right now.
Who's that?
Our Geography Professor.
Who's he?
- Must be his father!
Why do you want to meet the Principal?
I'm organizing a surprise birthday party
For Atmaram tomorrow.
The new guy who was thrown out
by his son?
Yes. Hari.
Hey, Jimi Hendrix... scram!
Atmaram misses his son a lot.
He calls him often.
But his son neither picks up
nor calls back!
Good Morning, sir.
Good Morning. Good Morning...
- Bye bye Sir...
Bye bye. Okay...
The Principal once...
Good Morning, Professor.
Good Morning.
Good Morning.
Professor, you 're the best teacher.
Somebody tell him
he's not Tom Hanks!
Mr. Dubey, I'm a little busy now.
You 're so good,
you ought to be the Principal.
Our Principal is a twat!
This table is smarter than him.
But then, we're all twats
compared to our great Professor!
Mr. Dubey,
Madam Whack is calling you...
Thank you. Bye.
Who's Madam Whack?
Whack is what you'll get now.
Stop over acting. Get out!
Good Morning, Sir.
You chaps know what to do.
- Yeah, Bro.
I spoke to his son,
but he just refused to come.
I really want to cheer up Atmaram!
Ask the Principal to call the Police.
- Police?
Why is Frankenstein following me?
How does the Principal
fit into this story?
Principal and Atmaram are old friends.
I've come to invite him. Atmaram will
be happy to meet his buddies again.
Don't invite him.
He's a depressing guy.
Attempts suicide every weekend.
Chews sleeping pills like gum.
Oh! Hi!
I'm Shyam. You've met Ram, my twin.
He doesn't wear glasses.
Hey you! Hey you!
Hey, where did he go?
Call the police.
See, that's the mad Principal.
Calls the police when...
students don't finish homework.
Where'd he go? He was just here.
He's the Principal?
Tell Bro, we gotta escape from here.
Sir, it's time for class.
Sorry, gotta rush.
My next class is starting.
But fret not! I'll bring Atmaram
a gift he will never forget!
Hey you... Hey...
- Sir, just coming...
"Wanna race, Vin Diesel? Let's go!
- Somebody catch him!
You plan the party.
Leave the rest to me.
You will see Atmaram
smiling tomorrow.
I promise! Hey, taxi!
Where'd he go?
I want to meet Hari Desai.
- Your name?
I'm Murli Prasad Sharma.
- What's your business?
Private matter.
- He's in a meeting.
I will pass on your message.
Tell him, the job's done.
The corpse is in the car boot,
behind his house.
I've come for my payment.
Where's his office?
Don't stress. I'll tell him myself.
Okay, fine. Meet you at the theatre.
Sunday, 3 p. m. show.
- Make that 6 p. m. buddy!
Cos at 5 p. m.
you will meet your dad...
...with a fine cake...
...that will read
"Happy Birthday Pops!"
I'll see you on Sunday - Bye!
How did you enter
- Through the door.
Why? You prefer the window?
Now, what are you planning to gift
your father?
Look, butt out of
my family affairs, alright?
Your father misses you, Bro.
Don't stay long, wish him and leave.
You'll put a smile on his face.
Please come with me.
- Yeah let's go...
Thank you very much. After you.
Goodbye... Get out.
What do you mean, 'out?'
You don't understand?
Ah! So you want to fight me?
Come on.
I used to be a boxing champion.
If you're a boxing champ,
I'm a slapping champ.
Hold... Here, higher.
To your left. Yes.
This is all your Dad's fault.
A few whacks on your butt would have
Produced a disciplined son.
Hello. Hello Bindu...
- Yeah.
How are you, honey?
- 'Where are you?'
Just hanging outside the office.
Listen, order a cake that says,
"Happy Birthday Dearest Dad"...
...and sign off with,
"From Hari, your loving son "
"Darling, why the fuss?"
Honey, try to understand
he is my father...
"But, why darling...?"
- Shut up. Do as I say.
Organise a birthday party.
Buy an expensive gift.
And... call a carpenter!
This balcony needs a safety grill.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday dear Atmaram.
Happy birthday to you.
You are the best Dad ever.
We'll forget you never.
"Happy birthday dearest Dad, "
Happy birthday to you.
How did you manage this?
I went to his office.
Explained to him graciously.
He understood.
Someone else would've slapped him,
hung him from the building.
But violence never works!
This is really unbelievable.
Thank you so much, Murli.
I have another surprise for you.
Can you come with me tomorrow?
Bomi Uncle...
...may I borrow your car?
Lucky, I'm told in India
a kid's born every 2 seconds.
Possible. So?
So therefore there's gotta be
a marriage every second?
Yeah. So?
So a boy must proclaim love
to a girl every 1/2 a second?
Hell, it's been 2 months.
I still can't muster
the courage to tell her.
Courage to say what?
Just that.
Just what?
Just that...
...That 'I like you. Be my wife'.
Cowboy you stick to breaking bones
And grabbing villas...
Leave this wedding talk to me.
I'll talk to her father.
Her dad's no more.
She lives with six old folks.
Where does she live?
- Somewhere in Versova.
Bro goes there alone.
Feels shy to take me along.
Here's the address, Munna.
This house must be grabbed.
Forget it!
But Sir, how will they reach
without the address?
Did you land up on Earth
with an address?
Ask Mommy, were you born
holding a map?
Munna, forget this job.
Just relax!
Take your gurly-wurly to Goa!
- Lovely romantic place.
Gentle waves, the setting sun.
You and her, alone on a boat.
When the sun has sat, tell her...
...'Marry me or leave the boat.
It's my boat'.
I assure you, she won't jump
into the water.
She won't come with me alone.
- No, no, not alone.
Take the oldies with you.
Cuckoo, book their air tickets!
The trip's on me.
Just go to Goa.
Put a ring on her finger,
leave the 'house business' to me.
Anything happened?
- No. With you?
I called her. But she was out.
Can I ask why your girl
walked past giggling?
I told her a joke.
- What?
You go on a drive to tell
her jokes? Give me the keys.
They're in the car!
Careless bugger.
Forgot the keys too. Idiot.
Hurry. Pack your bags.
We're leaving for Goa.
- Goa?
Goa? But why?
For a wedding.
Who is getting married?
You tell them.
Hope you won't object?
- To what?
But first tell us
who's getting married
No, I can't tell you.
- Ok, but where are we going?
Tell us. We won't tell a soul.
What's going on?
Who's she?
- Surprise gift!
Bomi's Tina?
- Yessss!
"A precious quarter remains with you. "
"Treasure it! Don't waste it, dude!"
"A precious quarter remains with you. "
"Treasure it! Don't waste it, dude!"
"Life's buck... "
"... went down the drain... "
"... but the magic quarter still remains!"
"Life's buck... "
"... went down the drain... "
"... but the magic quarter still remains!"
"A precious quarter... "
"... remains with you. "
"Treasure it! Don't waste it, dude!"
"So many dreams buried in our hearts... "
"... battles lost before the start. "
"But now we'll rise, come fall or pain... "
"... for the magic quarter still remains!"
"A precious quarter... "
"... remains with you. "
"Treasure it! Don't waste it, dude!"
"Back foot!
We've played the game on the backfoot!"
"Front foot!
It's time to move to the front foot!"
" 'Second Innings' is a whole new race... "
"... gonna knock the ball to outer space!"
"A precious quarter... "
"... remains with you. "
"Treasure it! Don't waste it, dude!"
"Life's buck... "
"... went down the drain... "
"... but the magic quarter still remains!"
"A precious quarter... "
"... remains with you. "
"Treasure it! Don't waste it, dude!"
- Hi, Murli...
Want to tell you something important.
Can you come down, please?
What are you looking for?
- Something very important...
Not this ring?
Hey, how did you get this?
Is it for someone?
A lady's ring must be
for a special lady right?
So you found a nice Goan girl, huh?
Does her name start with'M'?
My name starts with'M'.
So her name begins with 'J'!
I'm so jealous.
Don't you worry.
Lucky girl.
So, if I like someone,
she's a lucky girl?
Of course Murli.
Jhanvi, there's something important
I must say.
Give that 'J' girl this ring first,
then we'll chat.
But I must talk to you
before I give the ring
So, tell me.
Jhanvi, don't say the word 'No'.
If your answer is 'no',
just turn and leave.
But don't say 'No'.
I will not say 'No'.
Jhanvi, I... my heart...
Go ahead. Take it.
What? When?
How can they do that?
Murli, someone's broken into our house.
He's throwing out our furniture.
Call the cops right now.
Which builder?
Bro, how's it hangin'?
- 'Someone's broken into Jhanvi's house... '
I'll rip him apart.
What's the address?
- In Versova..
I'm in Versova too.
Don't worry. Which street?
Jetty Road.
I'm right there.
Hey, Rambo, get the car!
Plot 22. It's a yellow house.
Which plot, Bro?
- Plot 22. Hurry.
Bro, that house is current 'job'!
Have you gone mad?
- Bro, I'm following Lucky Singh's orders!
Enough. In these poses,
paste film stars.
For this one, use world leaders.
Make one photo with
the Queen of London.
You look happy!
Got the 2nd Innings house.
How? Khurana's been trying
for 2 years.
Khurana uses astrologers
for business decisions.
I use brains...
...not feng shui!
He's bought all the land around that house...
...but without the house his millions
would be toilet paper!
Sir, Mr. Khurana is here.
Lovely-dovely! He'll be thrilled
to see the keys!
The 2nd Innings House is yours.
Consider it a wedding gift.
Lucky Singh,
this marriage cannot happen.
But why?
- I've read your daughter's horoscope.
She is 'manglik'.
- So?
Her stars are inauspicious.
The man she marries will be destroyed!
Our daughter is a good soul.
The horoscope clearly says,
if Sunny marries her...
...he will die within the year.
Khurana, you really believe
this stuff?
Of course.
I owe my prosperity
to my Astrologer.
When my business was sinking,...
he asked me to add a 'K' to my name...
It's better numerology.
Look at me today.
If only your daughter was born
a few hours later!
Bad timing Dear!
If you'd delivered Simran
5 minutes later,...
...her birth date would've changed.
Simran was born at 11:55, right?
If you just held on for 5 more minutes,
the date would've been 8th. Not 7th.
Get it?
Hang on... wasn't your daughter born at
55... A.M.?
No, your holiness!
It was 11:55 P.M.!
Her horoscope here shows
it was morning.
Old man Subramanium!
- Subramanium?
My typist. A bit deaf. When I dictate
he reads my lips.
AM, PM, same lip movement,
isn't it?"
"Writes 'liar' for 'lawyer'.
'Risky' business becomes
'whiskey' business. "
Send us an email' becomes
'Send us a female'!
One of my suppliers did!
How embarrassing!
Oye Cuckoo!
Buy that Subramanium a hearing aid.
Who's Subramanium?
- Buy for both ears.
If I whisper, it must echo like
loudspeakers in his ears. Thanks Cuckoo.
I'm glad that
this misunderstanding is cleared.
Delivered her at the perfect time.
Well done.
Now, do take the house keys.
No, no. Hold on. We'll accept the key
only on the wedding day. At 10::27 P.M..
Lovey-Dovely! Bring out the sweets!
The wedding's finally on!
The deal is done.
You knew, didn't you?
- What?
That it was Jhanvi's house.
The Goa trip was a scam, right?
What if I muscle my way
into your house and claim it's mine?
"Listen Madam, the property lease is
in his name.
And now he has possession too. "
But they should've sent us a notice
Before the lease transferred!
"BMC must've sent you a notice.
Do check at the post office. "
"Got that house with grace, didn't I?
No violence. "
I'll gift you and your doll a flat in
the suburbs. Lots of fresh air,...
and great for rosy-cheeked kids!
Why can't you help us?
"Madam, we can't help you.
Get yourselves a lawyer. "
Gimme the house keys.
Listen Munna. Don't interfere.
This house is promised to Khurana
as Simran's wedding gift.
"Lucky, I'll get you
the Mayor's mansion if you wish.
But let this one go!
Instead, why don't you
leave this chicky?
I'll find you a Miss India type model.
Keep Jhanvi out of this.
No you keep romance out of business.
Don't mix the two.
Too late for that, buddy boy!
That house is mine. You've set the pitch.
Now watch my bat break you balls!
You took the ol'geezers to Goa!
Your best friend...
...emptied the house!
Should I tell your girl what kind of
'Professor' you really are?
"Hello... Hello, "
Hello. Is Ballu there?
- Wrong number.
Sorry wrong number.
Go! Practice your batting!
"Move aside.
"Just chill, chill, just chill"
"Sorry, Bro!
I should've called you atleast!
But I didn't want to disturb you
for a small job.
"Don't be upset, Bro. Stay cool!
I'll explain things to her.
What will you explain?
That I'm a goon?
Can't you do anything right?
"Rama, the Lord of heavens,... "
"... Blessed is thy name... "
Hello! What took you so long?
Bapu, for the first time in my life,
I have a problem I can't solve.
Get me out of this.
There's one solution.
- What?
Kidnap Lucky's daughter.
Strike a deal with him.
His daughter in return for the house.
I already rejected
that idea last night.
Another solution - just shoot Lucky.
Hey Bapu, your ideas are suicidal.
These aren't my ideas son,
they're yours.
Isn't it how you've done things so far?
You 're not gonna follow my ways.
So what's the point?
Okay. Show me your way.
I am ready to try anything.
I don't think you can.
- Why?
Trust me, I'm bloody brave!
My way isn't easy.
But success is guaranteed.
I'll get the house back?
- I promise.
Jhanvi won't leave me, will she?
She'll always stay proudly by your side.
You seem confident.
Tell me what to do.
Ask for forgiveness.
From whom?
Is it so necessary to apologise?
I want to see how brave you really are.
What do you mean?
Slapping someone is easy.
Apologising requires courage.
Go, son!
What are you doing here?
- Nothing, Bro.
Was missing Mom a lot.
Just came and sat here.
I want to tell you something.
Go on, Bro.
Don't think I'm drunk, okay?
What's wrong, Bro?
Turn away. Don't look into my eyes.
I want to say, I'm sorry.
Couldn't sleep all night.
...thinking about old times!
Remember, when I was shot,
I was in great pain.
You cradled me in your arms.
And sang me to sleep.
I can't believe I slapped you.
And the time, when I had craving for
Chinese food at 3 a. m... promptly kidnapped that
5 star chef...
...and we ate 'hoi-sin ' noodles
till morning!
I can't believe I slapped you.
Forgive me, buddy!
You don't need to say this, Bro
Hey, I said sorry, didn't I?
Thank you Bapu.
I feel so much lighter now.
What should I do next?
- Now you must win over Lucky with love.
That'll be tough.
- Stay cool! Bapu is with you!
Lucky Singh has trapped you
with deceit!
So what do we do?
Madam, that's what I'm here for.
We'll file a case - lllegal possession
of property.
Let him not think we're weak.
How long will it take
to get back our house?
15 years... at least.
Maximum 6 months.
Do you guarantee it?
Buffer another 2 to 4 months.
Two or four?
Can't say.
Judges get transferred.
Court dates get changed.
It's hard to commit.
Add up and gimme a total time.
- 4 to 5 years.
Lets say 6 years!
Give it to me in writing.
- No lawyer will do that.
You first say 6 months. Now,
you won't even guarantee 6 years.
Come on, let's go.
- Where?
I've just met a lawyer.
- A great lawyer.
Studied in London,
practiced in South Africa.
In London?
It's that new nerd!
- He said stop bully-ing.
Start Gandhi.. ing.
That Scoundrel. Stealing my clients.
He said, if your enemy swears at you,
smile back at him.
Listen to Nerdy boy!
He also said, if someone hits you
on one cheek, offer him the other.
This will reduce hatred,
and make him respect you!
"He also said, to win over your enemy,
you don't need lawyers. "
Who said that? Who?
Who said what?
What's the problem?
- What's the problem?
What's going on Murli?
Gandhi.. ing.
The opposite of bully-ing.
Lucky thinks we're going to fight him.
Instead we will send him flowers.
Good morning, pops.
Mushy morning!
Flowers from Khurana Jr.!
Sunny? Impossible.
Why? Had a fight?
With Sunny? Never.
Their astrologer has said that roses
are unlucky for Khurana Sr.
So all the rose bushes have been cut.
Even his secretary has changed
her name from Rosy... Daisy!
How does Sunny tolerate this nonsense?
Because his father is a good man.
A little superstitious.
But that's okay.
A little? He 'elects an auspicious time'
to go to pee...
Adds extra K's to his name for luck.
Now am I to call him Khurana or
K... K... Khurana?
Would you tolerate me
if I did all that?
You're no less.
Posing for pictures all day.
Posing this way and that.
Then pasting your face with Ash,
Bush and the Queen.
But I still love you.
Because you are a good man.
One minute.
Then who sent these flowers?
Your secretary - her skirt's tinier
Than her brain!
Dad, these are for you.
With a 'Get well soon ' card.
Why? Are you sick?
- Just a bit of gas, that's all!
Oh! So the bimbo worries about
your belly now!
It's signed by a 'Munna'!
Diddly-do-duck! Don't touch it!
It's a bomb!
Everybody down! Duuuuck
Stop it, pop.
Let's read the card.
"'Dear Lucky,"
"Dishonesty is a disease. "
"You have it. "
"You are very unwell. "
"But I will cure you. "
"I will be with you till you recover. "
"Look outside your window. Munna. "'
"Tired shoulders, greying hair,
but with courage beyond compare... "
"unwavering from the path of truth,
these youthful old are really rare. "
"We salute you, O Motherland... "
for giving us this fearless man.
"We salute you, O Motherland... "
for giving us this fearless man.
Go on. Tell him.
This night of trauma shall pass, dude...
...But not before...
...Lucky is doomed!
What's all this drama, Munna?
- It's called 'Peaceful protest'.
We won't fight with you. But we'll
stand by your house in protest.
Until you realize
the folly of your ways.
One of us will be
standing here 24 hours.
If one gets tired,
another will take his place.
We'll pray for your speedy recovery.
Get well soon, Lucky.
- Give us back our house keys.
Come here.
Don't you dare touch Bro.
- Circuit, don't.
Bapu said, 'If the enemy hits you
on one cheek, offer him the other'."'
Look, he didn't hit me.
Bro, he just pummeled you!
Bapu didn't say what to do
after you are hit on both the cheeks.
Take a blow, several blows to show
that you will not strike back...
It softens the enemy.
His hatred for you
will give way to respect!
Show Lucky we will not hit back.
Nor waver from our path. "'
Apologise, Munna!
We'd like to take our house in peace...
...mess with us and rest in pieces!
Say sorry.
- Why Bro?
Bapu says it reduces hate,
and increases respect.
Say sorry.
- Bapu will ruin our business.
Hey, road kill!
Get up, I gotta apologise!
Get up or I'll slap you!
We've grabbed 115 houses.
Pulled off 52 kidnappings.
Broken atleast 250 bones.
But never went to jail.
First time...
we've said 'sorry'.
And here we are.
We'll be mocked, Bro!
Our reputation is mud now!
Oh, so getting jailed for murder
is better for your reputation?
No but a tiny kidnapping charge
would be nice!
Do you know that Bapu
was jailed just for making some salt?
Woah! His rep must've been pickled!
No, man.
The more he was jailed,
the more famous he became.
Because he was always right.
So, if we are right,
and keep getting jailed... then?
Then, like Gandhi, we too will have
our statue in the park.
Our mug shots on currency!
Streets named after us.
Books about our friendship.
Chapter 6, Munna and Circuit...
Politicians singing our praises.
As long as Sun will rise,
Munna-Circuit's fame will thrive.
My birthday will be 'Munna Day'.
A national holiday.
Honoured as a dry day.
No no... not a dry day.
Your bail's given.
Thank you.
You got us out.
No, Murli, thank you.
You went to prison for us!
Emotional touchy moment.
Was a one-night lesson enough
or should I put you in for life?
Then they'd name a city after us!
"Minneapolis... Munna-polis!"
"Switzerland... Circuit-land!"
Monaco... Munna-co!
Why are you messing with me?
I have the police,
the power, the money.
What do you have?
- I have Bapu, 'Uncle'!
And I have the radio, dude!
Good Morning, Mumbai.
Welcome to our new show.
"Mahatma's Magic"
- 100 years back,...
a cool dude came to our country!
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.
Bapu showed us the right way
to live our life.
Sadly, we've forgotten
that path today.
I want you to imagine that
Bapu's with us in the studio!
You tell us your problem,
and we solve it with Gandhism!
In return, we seek your support.
Our friend is very unwell.
- He's in a critical condition.
But he doesn't think he's sick.
Help me heal him.
Dial now, Mumbai!
Bapu, we're going live...
stay with me!
Wow... our first call.
Got disconnected!
No, we got cut off.
Let's call him back!
- Why did you disconnect?
Hey, what's eating you, buddy?
You can't help me.
- Give it a shot.
I need Rs. 700,000.
- For what?"
I lost my father's savings
in the stock market.
My friend had said
I would double my money.
Dad was saving to buy a house.
Now how do I get it back?
That's very easy.
- Simple.
- Reduce expenses.
Work more.
Pay it back penny by penny.
Work twice as hard,
spend less and save your money.
It'll take me 10 years to earn so much.
What do I do now?
you must be brave,
admit the truth to your father.
First, don't be a wuss and confess!
I'd rather commit suicide!
Are you crazy?
Why make your father suffer
For your mistake?
Think your dad will enjoy
seeing your dead body?
Those shoulders you rode on as a child
will now bear the weight of your coffin. "'
For six months
he won't believe you're gone.
He'll keep calling your phone,
hoping you'll answer.
Bloody idiot.
What should I do?
What's your name?
Victor... Victor D'Souza.
Listen, Victor.
He's your father.
Don't hide the truth from him.
One day, I woke up.
Found my dad was no more.
There was so much
I wanted to share with him.
But I never did.
Where's your father now?
- In his room.
What's he doing?
- Don't know. The door's closed.
Open the door. Go in.
- Don't think, Victor. Just go in.
Don't think. Go in.
Go inside.
Go in, Victor.
Now what?
What have you done this time?
What are you standing there for?
What is it?
Tell him...
Is there a radio in there?
- Who are you talking to?
Turn on the radio.
Mr. D'Souza.
Your son wants to tell you something.
Mumbai city is listening in.
Speak up, Victor. Tell him.
Dad, I wanted to tell you earlier...
Don't beat around the bush, Victor.
Get to the point... tell him.
Daddy, I've lost your Rs. 700,000
in the stock market.
Don't raise your hand, Mr. D'souza.
If you hit him now he will always be
scared to say the truth!
Dad, I'll stay away from
the stock market.
I'll do any job.
Deliver newspapers. Tutor kids.
I'll save every penny and
pay you back.
I know what you 're thinking,
Mr D'souza.
How can he earn Rs. 700,000
delivering newspapers?
But you've got your son back, sir.
Silly chap wanted to kill himself.
He'll get onto the right path now.
Dad, Uncle Francis runs a taxi service.
He's always looking for drivers.
Could you recommend me?
Dad, if I drive a cab,
I hope you won't be embarrassed.
I won't drive in our neighbourhood.
Don't make me cry.
Go in.
Give me your phone.
Sir, I don't know who you are.
or what you said to my son.
But I do know that today
my little boy...
has become a Man.
God bless you!
That's my Bro. Yes, my Bro.
If you liked our show, then please
send our sick friend some flowers...
...with a 'Get well soon ' card.
His address is... - 41...
"In the light of dense despair,
gentle light of hope he spread... "'
"gripping the hand of truth,
he taught us to be unafraid. "'
- What's this on the radio?
Munna's just a thug who wants to
Extort money form me!
Look, I don't want a house
Obtained illegally!
Sir, the legal papers are with me.
that house is very lucky!
Don't let it go.
I've heard the residents are protesting
outside your house?
Don't worry. By tomorrow,
it will be over. I promise you, Sir.
Be careful.
Don't tarnish our name. Goodbye!
Pops, hope you 're not doing
anything wrong.
I'm sorry.
You 're a good man
- Hello, Munna.
Look, we're old friends.
I'm making you a great offer.
First, stop the Oprah-On-Radio!
And get the wrinkles off my sidewalk!
In return
I have a '4 point package' for you.
1. A house for the sad sacks,
same size, colour...
...but out of the city!
2. A terrace apartment for you and
your lovely parakeet!
3. A car, a driver
in uniform - all white!
4. Your kid's education, in a private
school, paid for in advance!
Might become Professors some day!
When I peek through my window
at 7 a. m. tomorrow...
...I better find
the road's geography changed...
...or Jhanvi will discover
your entire history!
Sleep on it.
Your time starts now.
What do I do, Bapu?
Do as I say,
and Lucky will be powerless!
Tell me quickly, Bapu!
Tell Jhanvi the truth
before Lucky does.
Whoever bowls,
the wicket that tumbles will be mine.
She will leave me.
Be fearless.
Continue your peaceful protest.
She is bound to come back to you!
How will I tell her, Bapu?
I'm gonna need lots of courage.
When I was 15,
I stole some gold from my brother.
You stole?
No way. What happened then?
It started bothering me.
I couldn't sleep.
I decided to confess to my father.
But I couldn't find the courage.
So I wrote him a letter instead.
I begged for forgiveness.
And swore to always be honest.
Did your dad spank you silly?
No. But he wept. Then he tore
the letter and went to sleep.
He went to sleep?
I wept by his bedside all night...
that night will always stay with me!
Your father forgave you,
didn't he, Bapu?
It took a while but he did.
It's settled then!
I will write her a letter too.
I'll give it to her tomorrow at 6 a. m.
Why not now?
Let me be with her tonight, Bapu.
Tomorrow, I know she'll leave me.
I want to cherish this last night
with her, until she returns!
Please, Bapu.
Alright! Tomorrow 6 a. m.
What are you writing?
A letter.
- To whom?
I'll stand in your place.
Go, get some sleep.
No. I won't get sleep tonight.
Grandpa says,
'When you 're sad, close your eyes... "
'... flash back into
your life's happy scenes... "
'... and your smile will return. "
Go on. Close your eyes.
What do you see?
- Radio?
When I hear
'Good Morning Mumbai' on the radio...
Sir-Kit says I get a smile on my mug!
Say it for me once, please?
- Here? No...
- Not here, Murli! No way!
Good Morning, Mumbai.
...And welcome to our late night show.
The night is silent,
the stars are somber... they know
something's eating Prof. Sharma.
Breaking News!
His pocket hides a love letter!
Let me take a guess... to who it's for?
Possibly me?
Perhaps he wishes to say something,
But doesn't know how.
I know what he wants to say...
You don't!
- Then tell me!
I will, tomorrow at 6 a. m.
"I know what you'll say. "'
"But I want to know how you'll say it. "'
"Say it in such a way... "'
"that I remember
this moment forever. "'
I'll eagerly wait for 6 a. m.
"This waiting is so hard...
moments endlessly last. "'
"Why can't this ache end...
moments endlessly last. "'
"This waiting is so hard...
moments endlessly last. "'
"Why can't this ache end...
moments endlessly last. "'
"Be still...
my aching heart. "'
"Fret not!
This too shall pass!"
"Why can't this ache end...
moments endlessly last. "'
"Why can't this ache end...
moments endlessly last. "'
"This waiting is so hard...
moments endlessly last. "'
"Why can't this ache end...
moments endlessly last. "'
"My sweetheart... "'
"I fear... "'
"... this long, dreary Night. "'
"O' Dawn, won't you end my plight!"
"This wait is a crime... "'
"... feels like a lifetime!"
"O' this long, dreary Night... "'
"... Dawn... end my plight!"
"With you by my side,
your arms around me... "'
"... I know, my love...
That I'm Home!"
"With you by my side,
your arms around me... "'
"... I know, my love...
That I'm Home!"
"With you by my side,
I have an ally. "'
"And I know, my dear,
you're my sheltering sky!"
"I wish, I hope,
that I could spend... "'
"... my every breath,
with you, my friend!"
"This waiting is so hard...
moments endlessly last. "'
"Why can't this ache end...
moments endlessly last. "'
How will this
little letter enclose...
what your whole heart
aches to disclose.
Oye, rockiing!
Security. Send Munna up!
Oh ho, well played Munna.
In one ball, all oldies out.
The apartment, car, driver...
consider your life is set!
Why don't you also get married,
these flowers won't get wasted!
You got it wrong, Lucky.
I've told Jhanvi the truth.
My conscience is clean.
I'm not afraid of you anymore.
You 're a strange character.
I was winding upto pitch, and you
struck yourself out!
The game's not over, Lucky!
I'll protest peacefully
till you return the house.
All alone?
Your team's vanished, buddy.
I still have one mighty player.
Your best move can't get him out!
- Bapu.
Who's that?
- The Father of the nation.
Mahatma Gandhi.
Why are you obsessed with Bapu?
His ways don't work today...
...Just as they didn't then.
3 bullets got him. Remember?
But who really won?
The one who fired the bullet,
or the one who took it in the chest?
In whose honor do we have the dry day?
Whose statue is in the park?
Whose face is on currency notes?
Who the hell are you talking to?
Lucky, I'm gonna share
a secret with you.
I see Mahatma Gandhi.
You mean his...?
- He's right next to you...
looking at you so lovingly!
- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.
Heard that?
- No...
Bapu, once more.
- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.
Heard it now?
Dude, Bapu won't leave till you change!
Munna, you're in trauma.
Go home. Rest.
Lucky, return the house.
Why mess with Bapu?
Get out!
Tell Bapu, I don't give
a sparrow's fart. That house is Mine!
You know,
But no. Watch my Gandhi-ing now.
No slaps, no guns,
but I'll get back the house.
Infact, you will hand me
the key. With a smile.
Make room.
More flowers will follow.
Get out!
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi indeed...!
Good Morning, Mumbai.
Our friend's in a coma.
He can't tell right from wrong.
Look Jhanvi, the show must go on.
It's a big hit.
- Unbelievable!
Hello. What's the problem?
My Dad has chosen a groom for me
from the matrimonials.
He says I'm to meet him
once and decide.
He'll be on his best behaviour!
To judge someone, observe how he
treats the less fortunate.
Where are you calling from?
- A restaurant.
He's on his way!
Simple! If he says, 'chu... chu... "
when calling the steward -...!
You must be Priya... I'm Rahul.
- Yeah. Hi.
Pleasure to meet you.
What can I get for you?
- Sure!
"Chu chu... "'
Yes, sir?
- One cappuccino for me...
and a tea for the lady...
where'd she go?
Thanks a lot, Murli.
If I had to live with
Mr 'Chu Chu', I'd die.
"People of Mumbai... "'
...if you spot Lucky Singh, give him
and tell him to be kind, not cruel.
Get well soon, dude!
Hey! Here!
Don't want any.
- It's a free gift for you, 'Uncle'
Get well soon, Lucky.
- Buzz off, you flea!
The guy who lives upstairs
loves chewing tobacco...
...but more than that, he loves
spitting it in front of my door!
I feel like strangling him!
Aha! Do the opposite!
Everytime he spits...
...give him a smile!
Let that Picasso see you
leaning his grafitti!
"No gun, no sword, not even a knife... "'
"our mighty weapon is smile,
not strife. "'
"He taught us love,
lived for the nation's dignity... "'
"he taught all humans
the essence of humanity. "'
For 3 days, I've cleaned his mess.
I know he won't change.
Bapu says, 'Don't lose faith'.
One day, his own shame will stop him.
Three cheers for Gandhi-ing!
Flowers? I know what you're upto!
Stop mocking me! I know everything!
You need to 'Get well soon'!
I'm a retired teacher, son.
I've taught my students never to bribe.
But now, I'm being forced to bribe
to get my own pension!
The pension officer has withheld it
For 2 years.
I'm in serious trouble, son.
That pension is your right, sir!
We'll get it out of him!
What should I do, son?
Shame him. Show the world
how corrupt he is.
I have an idea.
Here, Rs. 1,200.
Rs. 1,200 won't get you
anywhere Mister.
Be patient, son. I have more!
My glasses are worth Rs. 500.
Hearing aid, Rs. 500.
My watch, Rs. 800.
My diabetes pills, Rs. 18.
Hey, hey, what's going on?
- Just a minute.
What on earth are you doing?
Shirt! Rs. 200.
Please stop!
- Just a minute...
Your vest?!
- That's Rs. 25.
My belt's Rs. 100.
Shoes, Rs. 300.
Please stop, Sir.
It's enough. I beg you.
I'll approve your pension.
Just stop.
My trousers, Rs. 300.
I will sign.
Hey! Bring this man his pension.
Three cheers for Gandhi-ing!
"No need for bloodshed,
no need for rage... "'
"the goodness of Gandhi
will win any war you wage. "'
"We salute you, O Motherland... "'
"for giving us this fearless man. "'
Heard his show?
Don't worry.
Just switch off the radio.
Switching off the radio
won't switch off his voice.
"The city's mesmerized. "'
My driver spat on the street...
...and 4 boys cleaned it cheerfully!
He's mentally unstable.
He's crazy.
"You told me he was a goon. "'
- Yes!
Is he a goon or is he nuts?
- He's a nutty goon.
"Well, I don't think he's either. "
The whole city is supporting him.
And by tomorrow, he'll be out
of this city.
You've said that before too.
Give me 24 hours.
I'll prove he's insane.
- Yes, Sir.
Call a press conference.
- Press conference?
Invite Munna.
Tell him I am returning the house.
...I have the legal papers...
...and also the possession of
the house.
So legally the house is mine.
But when I heard Mahatma Gandhi
was interested in this house...
I said, 'Here. Take the key'.
Could I ever refuse such a great man?
Munna, tell them that
you can see Mahatma Gandhi.
It's true. I'm not lying...
they are close friends.
Murli, take over.
Hey, you just blurted out my secret!
Friends, it's true.
I can see Mahatma Gandhi.
He's taught me a lot.
I was going to tan Lucky's hide!
Bapu stopped me.
He said 'Change him with kindness. "
And look, he's a changed man today!
Is this a joke?
- Would I joke with Bapu around?
You mean he's here?
Right behind me, in full support!
Silence... silence. Please sit down.
Give me 2 minutes,
I'll get the facts out.
Mr Murli, I have 5 questions
for Mr. Gandhi.
He must know the answers.
If you can really see him,
give us his answers.
If the answers are correct, then we
will have no option but to believe you.
Go ahead then.
Question 1: Bapu, your first name?
- Mohandas.
Your father's name?
- Karamchand.
Your mother's name?
"Hey, Bapu doesn't know
his mother's name!"
Tell them, Bapu.
Who conferred the title
'Mahatma' on you?
What was the name of your ashram
in South Africa?
Bapu, tell them. Save my reputation.
I still have 55 seconds left.
Mr. Murli Prasad Sharma is very unwell.
There's a chemical imbalance in his
brain. So, he thinks he sees Gandhi.
I've seen many a case, where
the patients complain they often see...
...their dead parents, wife, or
their children.
If Mr. Gandhi was really here, he
would surely reveal his mother's name.
You have read a lot about him,
but not everything.
He can only answer those questions
to which you know the answers!
What you don't know, your
Gandhi illusion' also will not know.
Now will you please come here.
- Go, Munna!
These are the answers to the questions.
Read them and ask Bapu again.
And I'm sure he'll answer this time.
- "Putlibai. "'
Your mother's name?
- Putlibai.
- "Rabindranath Tagore. "'
Who conferred the title 'Mahatma'...
- Rabindranath Tagore.
- "Tolstoy Farm. "'
Your 'ashram' in South Africa was called...?
- Tolstoy Farm.
Get well soon, Munna!
Circuit, you see Bapu, don't you?
Yeah... Bro.
Do you see him now?
Eh... do you?
See, there he is.
Hello, Bapu! How are you?
You lied to me. Why?
Why'd you lie to me?
What could I have said, Bro?
- That I'm crazy.
The doc's right about the chemical
Cock-up in my head!
Don't say that, Bro.
- I'm an idiot...
I relied on Bapu to fight my battles.
Circuit, I've gone mad.
There's no Bapu.
My brain's messed up.
I'm mad! Mad!
- No, Bro, no!
You'll be fine, Bro!
Let's go home!
I'm not living here anymore. I want
to go back to the village, Circuit.
Oye, congratulations!
- Congratulations to you too.
Hey, what are you gonna do
in the village?
You can't even plough!
Bro, if I work the plough,
those bulls will be jobless!
Hey, we could become...
History Professors in the village!
We know nothing about history.
So what? Neither do those villagers!
Hey Circuit!
- Yeah, Bro.
I'm missing Jhanvi a lot.
Wanna turn back, Bro?
- Yeah, turn back.
...Simran isn't in her room.
- Where is she?
Let's go.
- Where to?
Don't you love the guy?
Hey! Stop it!
Should I call your mom?
Want to marry someone else?
"Stop the car. I said, stop. "'
Telling Simran was a mistake...
- Have a peg and come!
What did you tell her?
- I said...
If your in-laws ask your birth time,
just make AM to PM.
You told her everything?
Go ahead and kill yourself!
That was your plan, right?
Your mother will weep for months.
I'm sure she chose dress!
Yes, she did!
But Dad's ruined everything.
What's wrong? Tell me.
What can you do?
I have a friend.
He can help for sure.
Just talk to him.
What's the hurry to die? There's a train
every 2 minutes. You can die whenever!
Look, let me speak to Jhanvi.
Just once.
Then it's 'Goodbye, Mumbai!'
- She's gone for the day.
Call her from your phone.
She won't speak with you.
Then I'll talk to her on the radio.
Move aside.
Murli, wait!
- Hey, Radiohead! Move!
Hey 'Uncle'. Wait out.
I need to talk to Jhanvi.
Hey, Hair Salon... Move.
Doom graciousness today.
You move and I make a hole
in your head.
Hey, guard... stay there!
Good Morning Mumbai!
Friends, this is my last show.
But it's only for Jhanvi.
Everyone, switch off your radio.
I need to talk to Jhanvi in private.
Jhanvi, I'm retiring.
Going back to my village.
I Wanted to meet you once
before I left.
Hello Jhanvi...?
- "Hello, Murli?"
Who the hell is this?
- "Victor. "'
Hey Victor. My friend.
Call me back in 2 minutes.
Jhanvi and I are having
a private chat.
"Murli, it's an emergency. "'
- What? Have you blown more money?
Sir, turn on the radio.
Simran's on-air.
I can't base my marriage on a lie,
on a false horoscope!
If I bring bad luck to my husband,
if he dies,...
I won't be able to forgive myself.
The city is riddled with women
with 'cursed stars'...
whose husbands are old,
senile farts - still alive!
Don't believe in superstitious bull!
For some it's not 'bull'...
...Dad should've respected that!
I hate my father.
Hey, don't say that!
He's your Dad!
If I told you his name,
you'd agree with me!
Hey... don't mess with your dad's rep
in public! I know who he is!
Poor guy! He's sick... help him.
Don't abandon him.
He did all this just for you.
He was my hero.
I never thought he'd lie to me.
My father is a cheat.
I'll never go back.
Zip it! When you lied as a kid,
did your father abandon you?
He didn't, right?
He'd reason with you, scold you,
but he never left your side!
Go back.
- There'll be trouble if I do.
There'll be double trouble,
if you don't.
Your dad will have to face it alone.
It's terrible when your own people
abandon you in crisis.
I know that pain too well.
But I cannot lie to my in-laws.
Go back. Tell them the truth.
Let them decide
how they want to react.
They will never agree to this match!
Does your fiance love you
as much as you love him?
I think so.
Then I guarantee
this wedding will happen today.
Victor, take her back.
Uncle, there's something I have to say.
- What's wrong, child?
My stars are cursed.
But your horoscope?
- It was forged.
Why are you telling me now?
I can't start a relationship
with a lie.
You hope to get married
by speaking the truth now?
I love him, Sir!
- Get out.
Get out before I slap you.
Let's go, Sir.
What's the matter, Victor?
- The wedding's off, Murli.
What do you mean 'off'?
"Don't go away Jhanvi. I'll be back.
Till then, listen to a song. "'
Hey, dude!
You 're making a big mistake. You'll
never find such an incredible girl.
Not many girls have the courage
to say the truth in public.
She was born at 11:55 AM.
Is that her fault?
Why be influenced by silly stars?
We cannot ignore the horoscope and
risk our boy dying.
Who are you, chief?
- I'm the astrologer... Batuk Maharaj.
Hey Bro, the oldies lost their home
because of his numerology nonsense.
So now you've spun a new yarn.
The girl's bad luck will kill the groom!
How do you know that?
- I've read both their horoscopes.
Look, chief, you're predictions
can go wrong, too?
It hasn't happened yet.
- Bro, this guy is God.
You know what, you select
the Indian cricket team.
Pick guys with 100 runs
in their horoscope.
India will never lose. 1100- not out.
- You are mocking this ancient wisdom!
And where was it during the Tsunami,
I write horoscopes,
not weather reports!
You don't even know your own future.
How can you predict someone else's?
Who says I don't know my own future?
Then tell us what's gonna happen
to you in the next 2 minutes!
What's going to happen?
- How would I know?
You're the astrologer here.
Tell me, dude.
Is there some danger coming your way?
Danger? What danger?
Circuit, pull out your gun.
Look, danger!
I'm gonna count till 10.
After 10 shoot him down, Circuit!
- This is ridiculous! You can't do this.
If you're confident about
your predictions, why worry?
Look, he wont budge.
- Stop this joke. Listen up...
Friends, don't be afraid.
I'm a non-violent man.
Even though the bullet will
go through his skull...
- He will suffer no damage.
Guys, step aside.
The bullets will go through him.
- Stop this nonsense.
- Are you listening?
- Someone say something.
- Sir, do something.
- Listen, listen...
- Stop! Don't say 10!
He's out! Get up, Nostradamus,
I gotta apologise!
Uncle, this man doesn't know
his own future.
How can he predict others' future?
Don't stop this wedding, sir!
I beg you!
Someone, make him understand.
Make him see sense.
A stupid goon like me can see
this is wrong.
Why can't you educated fools
It's good that Bapu isn't for real...
Or this mute nation of cowards
would make him weep!
He died urging us
to speak the truth,
But today honesty
only gets you misery!
This girl dared to be honest,
and the wedding is off.
Let's go, Circuit!
Take us! This sane world
is driving me nuts!
Let's go.
Where's Sunny?
Sunny, let's go.
Dad, marrying her may kill me.
But, not marrying her
is certain death for me!
Sorry, Dad.
Bro, you sure about
the 'more jail - higher rep' equation?
Write a letter.
- To whom, Bro?
Dear Jhanvi, I am sorry
I came into your life.
I couldn't help it!
Your voice saying,
'Good Morning, Mumbai',...
would fill my day with sunshine.
And 'Good Night, Mumbai' would
give me sweet dreams of you.
May be not this life,
but in the next,...
I'll be a real Professor, girl!
I'll win the quiz without cheating
and come to your studio.
But Jhanvi, you don't change.
Who cares about the next life, Munna.
I want to spend this life with you.
I'll gaze at you through the window,... you gently flick
your lock of hair!
Like this?
Next time we're in Goa, I'm gonna give
you the ring with full confidence.
How will you give me the ring?
It's with me.
Hey, Circuit!
Mu head's a chemical war-zone!
Can you see Jhanvi?
Yeah, Bro.
Hi, Jhanvi.
Tell me, where is she?"
Bro, she's behind you.
Behind me?
- Yeah.
Why did you lie to me?
Why did you say
you're not a professor?
You are the best professor
I've ever met, Murli.
There are many who preach Gandhism.
You 're the only one who practices it.
Third finger from the left.
- Which one?
Third finger. 1, 2, 3...
- 1, 2, 3...
She's got it on, Bro.
Congratulations, Bro!
- Thank you Circuit.
- Yeah.
Bro, let's make mince out of him.
Can't get worse,...
...we're already in jail!
Thanks a ton.
This is yours!
And so, the 'Second Innings' home
found its masters again.
Munna and Jhanvi got married.
And still host the 'Mahatma's
Magic' show together on the radio!
Bomi and Tina wanted a son wasn't
possible. So they adopted Circuit.
They thought they'd change him
But look who really changed!
Mr. D'Souza is a proud father.
His son bought another taxi...
with his own savings. "'
Sunny and Simran
have been married 5 years.
Sunny couldn't be more alive,
or happy!
This opened Khurana's eyes.
The Astrologer had to leave...
with the extra 'K'!
You 're wondering
what happened to me, right?
was shot down years ago.
But 3 bullets cannot kill
my beliefs.
Times will change, but...
my thoughts will keep causing
chemical cock-ups in some brains.
The choice is yours!
Live with my picture...
...or live by my principles.
Time to go!
Someone awaits me...
Lucky Singh.
- Who dat?
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.
Bless me, Bapu. What a miracle!
But first, one photo please?
Hey Photo-Studio, hurry!
Make it nice and bright.