Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League vs. Bizarro League (2015) Movie Script

(CAR HORN HONKING)
(CHILDREN GIGGLING)
BOY: Whoa. Whoa!
(CHILDREN SHOUTING)
(GRUNTING)
(CHUCKLING THEN GRUNTING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
BOY: Huh?
Awesome.
Great use of your chin as a brake, honey.
Don't eat too much sand.
You'll spoil your dinner.
- WOMAN #1: Look, it's Superman.
- WOMAN #2: Superman!
WOMAN #3: It's the Man of Steel!
He's going to save us.
Whoo! Superman! Ha-ha-ha.
Wait, what is he saving us from? Lunch?
Yeah, it's a pretty nice day.
(BIZARRO GRUNTS)
(GROANING)
(BOTH SHOUTING)
Ha-ha-ha. Huh?
(CHILDREN CHEERING AND GIGGLING)
Huh?
(GIGGLING AND LAUGHING)
Bizarro save tiny people
from tentacle creature.
(GRUNTS)
(WHIMPERS)
Bizarro no like calamari.
(SCREAMING)
- Aah!
- My baby!
(BOTH CONTINUE SCREAMING)
(CHILDREN GIGGLING)
- Oh.
- BOY: Mommy.
Don't worry. They're just fine.
But this one spit up a little sand
when I caught him.
Thank you, Superman.
You saved my child from your crazy brother.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
That's not my brother.
It... I mean, he, was created when Lex Luthor
hit me with a duplicator ray...
...to make a clone of me he could control.
Excuse me.
(BIZARRO GRUNTING)
Bizarro, put that down.
Bizarro put down.
Down means up, up means down.
Why does everything
have to be backwards with you?
Bizarro help Superman save Metropolis
from tentacle creature.
Why is it every time you try to help,
Metropolis ends up destroyed?
- That octopus isn't a creature.
- Oh.
- It isn't even an octopus. It's not dangerous.
- Huh?
(GROANS)
(WHISTLING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Ha-ha-ha. Boom.
My car! Do you know how long
it took me to assemble?
There were, like, so many bricks.
Can you take your identical twin
somewhere else?
Twins? Oh, no.
He's actually the opposite of me
in every way.
(CHILDREN SCREAMING)
Ha! Bizarro save Metropolis.
Bizarro save home.
MAN #1: Hey, who's gonna pay for this?
WOMAN #1: Someone might have
gotten hurt in all of this.
- You sure did.
- WOMAN #1: This is ridiculous.
You know, I recently discovered a place that
needs your help even more than Metropolis.
(GASPS)
Let's not go.
Follow me.
I mean, don't follow me.
Bizarro spy with his little eye,
something start with letter S.
Space.
How Superman know?
(BEEPING)
SUPERMAN: Should be around....
Ah! Right there.
(WHIRRING)
Aah! Oh.
(BIZARRO LAUGHING)
BIZARRO: Pretty. Ha-ha-ha.
(GRUNTING)
Ugh!
(SHOUTING)
Ha-ha-ha. That tickled.
Where you take Bizarro?
Somewhere you can't get into trouble.
This planet's physics are a little backwards.
Just like you.
It's going to be the perfect home.
Home Metropolis.
How I save Daily Planet?
How I save people here?
Hmm....
Watch this.
The Daily Planet, just like the one on Earth.
What do you think?
Uh....
Ah!
Bizarro, that citizen is in trouble.
Ha!
Ah!
(GRUNTING AND CHUCKLING)
Ha!
You nothing to worry for, citizen.
Bizarro keep safe.
Aah!
I think I kill him.
I think I kill him. Aah!
No, no, he'll be just fine.
He just needs to rest at home.
Wait, he needs a home.
Can you build him a home, Bizarro?
Uh, Bizarro build.
I'd wish you good luck, Bizarro,
but I know you'd take it the wrong way.
(RUMBLING THEN ALL GASP)
(RUMBLING CONTINUES)
- MAN #1: It's Giganta!
- MAN #2: Run, run, run!
MAN #3: What is that thing?
(CAR ALARM BLARING)
Out of my way.
I don't wanna be pulling mini figs
out of my toes.
The Daily Planet news building.
Well, I got news for you.
Print is dead.
(GRUNTING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING AND SHOUTING)
(SHOUTS)
(GRUNTING)
This skyscraper is heavier than you think.
(CHEERING AND LAUGHING)
Now Clark Kent doesn't have to look
for a new job.
(GRUNTING)
By the Golden Girdle of Gaea, Giganta,
this is no way for a lady to act.
Or dress. Animal prints are so last season.
Leopard spots are the new black.
And I'm gonna make you black and blue.
Get back here.
If you say so.
(GRUNTING)
The perfect distraction for the perfect plan.
(GlBBERING)
(WHIRRING)
The Justice League will never figure out
what I'm really up to.
BATMAN: Let me take a shot at it, Gorilla Grodd.
You use your mind control helmet
to turn Giganta, Penguin...
...Deathstroke and Captain Cold
into henchmen.
So while Giganta wreaks havoc on Metropolis,
you go after your real prize.
(GRUNTS)
Pretty good guess,
and a lot of words on one breath.
(WHIRRING NEARBY)
(GRUNTS)
- Ugh.
- Booyah!
Bats knew you'd try that,
so he had me snatch your hypno-helmet.
He's just so smart.
(WHIRRING)
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS)
Ugh!
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
Grodd had us under mind control.
DEATHSTROKE: We're stealing for you?
That's cold, man.
This heist better be for something good.
- Huh?
- Aah!
Bananas?
Ha, ha. Bananas?
I like bananas? Ha-ha-ha.
DEATHSTROKE: Nobody makes a monkey out of me.
Let's get out of here.
(GROWLING AND GRUNTING)
(CYBORG SHOUTING)
(CHUCKLES)
(QUACKING)
- They're getting away.
- Relax, Cyborg. They won't get far.
Hawkman, Operation Crop Duster.
Flash, I need you after Captain Cold.
I'm on it.
BATMAN: Green Arrow, see if you have anything
in your quiver to take down a flightless bird.
Copy that, Dark Knight.
BATMAN: Plastic Man, I need you
to wrap up Deathstroke.
Roger Dodger, Caped Crusader.
Hawkman delivers.
(HAWKMAN CAWING)
Just my size.
Gotcha.
(GROWLS)
Stay put, rookie.
Wish I had a jetpack.
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
GUY: Man, do I have to
do everything around here?
Let me show you how a real hero does it.
Say hello to my little friend
who's really big, and it's me.
Wow, look, Superman...
...Guy Gardner finally made something
as big as his ego.
(GRUNTING)
Say hello to the agony of the feet.
(GROANING)
(SHOUTING)
Ow.
Flash to Batman,
I'm hot on the trail of Captain Cold.
Get it? Hot, cold, huh?
I don't like tailgaters.
Hmm.
(GRUNTS)
(SCREAMING)
All right.
Cool off in the icebox.
(GRUNTING)
(QUACKING THEN GASPS)
- Ha-ha-ha.
- My favorite time of year: Duck season.
(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS)
Green Arrow to Batman.
This Penguin is poached.
Plastic Man versus Deathstroke?
That's a stretch.
(SHOUTS)
Whoo! That was close. Aah!
(PLASTIC MAN SHOUTING)
(CHUCKLES)
- Aah!
- Oh.
(GRUNTING)
Plas to Batman,
I've got mine all wrapped up. Hee-haw!
Wrapping things up here too.
Superman to Batman.
How's it going with that big gorilla?
- Need any help?
- I don't need any help from you.
BOY #1: Look, a monkey.
(GRODD CHUCKLES THEN CHILDREN SHOUTING)
(GASPS)
(CHUCKLING AND CHEERING)
(LAUGHING)
(GASPS)
(SCREAMING)
(GRODD GRUNTING AND WHIMPERING)
(GRODD GRUNTING)
(ALL CHEERING)
(CHEERING STOPS)
Thanks, Batman.
Hey, now, great takedown.
But, you know, maybe next time, instead
of using children to stop supervillains...
...feel free to call on your friends.
I keep my friends close
and my enemies closer.
I hope not much closer than this.
Hey, you're not implying that...
(SINGING) We caught Gorilla Groddy
And now we're gonna party
Villains going to prison
'Cause the Justice League is winning
Booyah, yeah
(BOYS LAUGHING THEN CYBORG WHOOPS)
Great work out there, everyone.
Especially our two new recruits:
Cyborg and Guy.
The Man of Steel just said I did great.
Fist bump.
I don't fist bump.
Just glad I was there
to save Wonder Woman.
Was that before or after Giganta
laid you down for a nap, rookie?
- Hmm.
- Whoa.
When we join forces, no evil can match us.
That's why we formed the Justice League.
Together we fight for the liberties
of all living creatures, great and small.
BATMAN: I joined the league to keep an eye
on the most powerful being on Earth.
The hearts and minds of man
are no mystery to me.
But an alien Superman....
Good thing I have my "just in case" box
of kryptonite.
(SUPERMAN GASPS)
I'm okay.
Not sure what came over me there.
Must've eaten some bad buffalo wings.
Now, where was I? Oh, yes, yes.
Next order of business.
Flash is bored, again.
Any ideas on some new activities
to keep him busy?
- Archery.
- Ice sculpture.
North American duck calls?
- Ha, ha.
- Huh?
(DUCK CALLING)
(QUACKING)
Okay, what now? Ooh. Snack time.
- SUPERMAN: A hero sandwich sounds good.
- PLASTIC MAN: Let's eat.
- GREEN ARROW: Race you.
- HAWKMAN: Birdseed burrito time.
CYBORG: Booyah!
BATMAN: Hmm. Superman sure left in a big hurry.
(ALARM WAILING)
- Uh-oh. Trouble alert.
- Great Hera.
There are reports of Superman
attacking LexCorp in Metropolis?
Aha! I knew he would snap one day.
I tried to warn everyone,
but no one would listen.
CYBORG: Uh....
We were just making sandwiches.
Don't think I won't check that alibi.
I have a pretty good idea
of who's behind this.
Why don't I just take care
of this one solo, guys?
I don't think so. Let's go.
(GROANS)
GUY: What a mess.
I'd hate to be the guy
who's responsible for this.
(CYBORG GRUNTING)
Yeah, really, guys, I've totally got this.
And miss all the action?
Uh-uh.
(GROANS)
Oh, look. Guns, guns, and more guns.
Is this a villain lair?
Oh, it's my first villain lair. Ha, ha.
It seems Lex has been busy
plotting our demise.
Even Superman's.
Hmm. Mm-hm.
All right.
Okay.
Ah.
Hmm.
Lex may be onto something with this one.
And the directions are very easy to follow.
Ah, Batman, leave it to you
to dispose of Lex's evil plans for me.
Yeah, that's what I was doing.
(DOOR OPENS)
Took you long enough.
My lab is practically destroyed.
Lex Luthor.
Do we really have to help this guy?
What's that supposed to mean?
Hello? Villain lair?
You spend all day creating weapons
to destroy us.
Hades himself would spurn you,
you treacherous snake.
How many times have you framed
one of us for a crime...
...and then run for president
on a platform to stop us?
That reminds me.
Vote for Lex.
(GUY GRUNTING)
That's going to look great on posters.
Now, stop him.
Bizarro.
BATMAN: Another alien.
Whoa.
Are you twins?
Heh, heh. We are not twins.
(GROANS)
Great Scott,
the LexCorp duplicator ray that created you.
You broke in here to steal it? But why?
- Bizarro show you.
- Bizarro, don't!
(ALL GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING AND GROANING)
(GRUNTING)
Ugh!
(GROANING)
I Batzarro. World's worst detective.
I Greenzarro. And I scared.
I...
...Cyzarro.
I Bizarra. Pretty, pretty princess.
(CHUCKLING)
(GRUNTING)
Bizarro, give me that ray
before you do any more damage.
Nothing stop Bizarro.
Not even Superman.
Can we go? I scared.
Okay. Let's stay.
You heard Bizarro. Stay.
Hmm.
"B-O-M-B."
Boom.
(BELL DINGING)
(GROANING)
(GRUNTING)
That was weird.
Your twin brother was way out of line there,
Superman.
- The universe only needs one Guy Gardner.
- If that.
How do we know this wasn't always
part of your secret alien plan?
Because Bizarro can't keep secrets.
He can barely keep his pants up.
But why make duplicates of us?
Duplicates with terrible hair
and unplucked eyebrows?
I don't know, but if one Bizarro
can cause this much destruction...
...think of what an entire
Bizarro League could do.
And I think I know where they're going.
Bizarro World.
Let's go.
BATMAN: So you want us to follow you
to some distant planet, huh?
Well, I'll play your little game for now, alien.
LEX: This is just great.
They destroy my lab
and Bizarro takes the kryptonite bomb...
...I was going to destroy Superman with.
(CHUCKLING)
(LAUGHING)
(SHOUTING)
Ow.
WONDER WOMAN: Merciful Minerva.
Bizarro's planet's a cube?
Figures.
I should warn you,
things here behave a little...
Uh, Bizarro?
(CYBORG SCREAMING)
Ha! One Green Lantern rescue rocket
coming up.
(CHICKEN CLUCKS THEN WONDER WOMAN GRUNTS)
A chicken?
Why does that not surprise me?
Hey, at least I can still fly,
Wonderless Woman.
CYBORG: Ugh!
Chicken. How degrading.
Yeah, I call that use of power ring
a clear "foul."
Get it? Fowl? Ha, ha.
This strange planet shows no evidence
of animals or plants.
Well, there's a face-plant. Heh.
(WHIRRING)
These rocks are emitting
a weird form of radiation.
Ooh. We should call it weirdiation, then.
I like that name.