Leningrad Cowboys Meet Moses (1994) Movie Script

"Leningrad Cowboys...
have been offered a job...
at Surf Hotel in New York. "
Not signed.
Let's hit it.
Mexican Folk]
Man Speaking Spanish ]
Better go underground.
Jesus Christ will be sitting on the throne,
When he was born,
the angels announced his birth and said...
"Of his kingdom, there shall be no end, "
What a glorious time that's going to be,
You wi I I be connected.
And there's gonna be universal joy,
"An everlasting joy
shall be upon their head,
They shall obtain gladness and joy...
and sorrow and mourning shall be -
shall flee away, "
Sorrow will be gone,
Mourning will... go away,
It'll be everlasting joy,
Hurry up, stupido,
# Well, my mama sended me #
# To a milk shop #
# But on the way #
# I met this girl #
# Ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-sita #
# All of the nature was at rest #
#When she gave me the kiss #
# Oh, Ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-sita #
# My tequila rose #
# Now comes the solo #
Vladimir!
Vladimir died long time ago in desert
because of his sins!
But having seen the light...
the good Lord let me born
from that light.
Call me Moses...
and obey me in all things...
so I could lead you back home
to your people.
Early tomorrow morning...
you are leaving for Europe...
on a sailboat I've organized.
Two days from now,
at 2200 hours local time...
we rendezvous at the point exactly...
300 nautical miles
south of Newfoundland.
After that, we continue together...
and land on the westernmost point
of Bretagne, France.
So we will be able to proceed...
without drawing attention
on our home journey.
Now we will synchronize our watches.
Why don't you leave with us, amigo?
I do what I like!
Your task is to obey!
Business is business,
but Moses...
is Moses.
I explain anyway.
I can't return home without presents...
which is why I must stay for a while...
in this Sodom and Gomorrah.
What's the point, gringo?
The first one, the first one. The winner
of each one is owed a prize. Don't be shy.
Who's it gonna be?
Come on, come on, come on.
Who's it gonna be? And the winner,
and the winner, and the winner...
and the winner, and the winner,
and the winner is... 12.
That's right, 12. You are the winner.
12, you take a prize today.
Everybody. Here you go, here you go,
here you go. Play again.
Everybody. Here you go.
Here you go. Here.
Here. Here.
Let's start up another race, folks.
Racing time.
Guaranteed winners each and every time.
Come on, don't be shy.
Give it a try. Have some fun.
It's water, water, water,
water, water racing time.
Jazz]
Caramba,
Why leave now?
We have achieved here so mucho,
Uno final effort and we are at the top.
I don't miss home.
I'm still young and wild.
- What about Moses?
- What about him?
We can get along without him.
Madre mia,
He gets crazy when he's mad.
Even an idea frightens me.
I'll do same as the others do.
It's easier.
You are a cowardo,
Si,
I don't want to go.
I want to be American.
I've fallen in love.
I want to stay.
You understand, don't you?
Newspapers.
Newspapers.
"Police have not yet released
any informations...
regarding the identity of person involved
in the theft of the nose.
Our associates reveal the culprit
may be one Vladimir Kuzmin, alias" -
This way, Moses!
Get the nose!
After the new calf was born,
Grandmother could find no peace.
We got the kolkhoz car for rent
and came here to wait for you...
three weeks ago from now.
Have you got money?
Only these rubles.
They have no value in the Western world.
So we have noticed.
Lucky I inherited from Vladimir
his business talent.
I'll find you some work.
Blue, 12.
Forty-eight, Yellow.
Yellow, 48. Fifty-three -
Kasatchok!
Kasatchok!
Kasatchok! One, two, three!
Kasatchok!
Kasatchok!
Kasatchok!
One, two, three!
Sixty, white.
White, 60.
Fifty-four, white.
White, 54.
Thirty-seven, blue.
Blue, 37.
Seventy-three, green.
Green, 73.
Eleven, blue.
Blue, 11.
Thirty-seven, yellow.
Forty-two, green.
Green, 42.
Thirty-three, blue.
Blue -
Eight, blue.
Blue, eight.
Bingo!
# 'O sole mio #
Dinares, Dinares,
Peso. Peso.
Senorita,
Gringo! This is good.
Hey, man.
Have you seen these criminals?
I shall now retire to solitude...
for meditation and praying.
Mellow Instrumental]
We got out through the window.
Permit me to introduce myself.
Raymond Lazar, record producer.
Moses...
Leader of the people.
As a great admirer of your orchestra...
I have taken the liberty of arranging...
a one week's engagement for them
in that restaurant.
It's out of question.
We are in a hurry.
And besides -
When do we start?
Let's go! Move it!
Quickly!
We should get rid of him.
How?
The river is strong.
He would be by the sea in the morning.
"You shall not eat any disgusting thing.
Also, you shall not cook
a kid in his mother's milk. "
Hallo, Polizei?
Hallo, Polizei?
Hey! Are you the German police?
C.I.A.
We will never see home again.
Mother never
would have let me come along...
because I'm sensitive.
But fool as I am...
I ran away.
"Now get up early...
along with your master's servants...
who have come with you...
and leave in the morning...
as soon as it is light. "
Adios, gringos!
Viva Zapata!
# Lonely moon #
# You are the greatest wonder
of the starry sky #
# Lonely moon #
#When you light up the sky
you really mystify #
# It's you alone
who witness love #
# It's moments full of joy #
# But you yourself must pass alone #
# Along your frozen way #
# Lonely moon #
#When you will find the one
I miss and love so much #
# Lonely moon #
# Please shine on her
and let your beams her forehead touch #
# And tell her how I love her #
# For now and ever more #
# Lonely moon #
# Please tell her so
O lonely moon ##
WEWN is now broadcasting
on a frequency of94, 10 kilohertz,
The following program is presented
in the Romanian language,
"The history of all society existing so far...
is the history of class struggles. "
" Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.
As he has hurt the other...
so is he to be hurt. "
"Of all the classes that stand face to face
with the bourgeoisie today...
the proletariat
is a really revolutionary class. "
"Do not let your hair become unstylish...
and do not tear your clothes...
or you will die, and the Lord will be angry
with the whole community. "
"The bourgeois sees in his wife
only an instrument of production. "
"And the Lord said to Aaron:
You and your sons are not to drink wine...
or any other alcoholic drink whenever
you go into the tent of meeting...
or you will die!"
"The proletarians have nothing to lose
but their chains.
They have a world to win. "
"In the year of jubilee...
everyone is to return to his own country. "
Gringo talking.
# By the rivers of Babylon #
#Where we sat down #
#There we wept #
#When we remembered Zion #
# By the rivers of Babylon #
#Where we sat down #
#There we wept #
#When we remembered Zion #
# 'Twas the wicked #
# Carried us away captivity #
# Require from us their song #
# Now how shall we sing the Lord's song #
# In a strange land? #
# By the rivers of Babylon #
#Where we sat down #
#There we wept #
#When we remembered Zion #
# By the rivers of Babylon #
#Where we sat down #
#There we wept #
#When we remembered Zion #
# By the rivers of Babylon #
#Where we sat down #
#There we wept #
#When we remembered Zion ##
Some of you might wonder...
why we have to go back to Siberia.
It is because a miracle has happened.
Lenin will now explain.
Yes, comrades.
One day, in the kolkhoz field...
a parthenogenetic ray came from the sky...
hit the mirror of Tamara,
passed Sergei's vodka...
and the first cow
of our 26th five-year plan was born.
It is a holy calf.
It is born free...
and will live free, as all animals should.
# Day is done, the sun is sinkin'#
#Just one beam still goes on blinkin'#
# Soon the night will start to fall #
# Hear the yawn,
the world goes sleeping #
# Hear the silent twilight creepin' #
# Hear the sun who makes her final call #
# The sunbeam meets a goblin #
# And they shyly say hello #
# She knows that he is comin'
from his cave #
#The beam so close to darkness #
# And the goblin caught by light #
# So young and thoughtless
and so brave #
# Standing there, exchanging glances #
# Scaring, yes, but taking chances #
# Feeling things completely new #
# He complains
My eyes are burning #
# Still I'm capable of learning #
# Something I can only reach with you #
# I don't mind If I go blind #
# I still can feel your spark #
# Besides, I'm used to living in the dark#
# Come take my hand
and stay by me #
#You lovely child of light #
# Please let me be #
#Your child of night ##
Where is the Mexican department
of the orchestra?
# Tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila!#
# Yo tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila!#
No lo tengo dinares,
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro!
# Tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila! #
# Yo tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila! #
Nolo tengo dinares,
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro!
# Tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila! #
# Yo tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila! ##
What's happening here?
No tequila.
Save us, Moses.
Jesus saves.
Moses invests.
Back to the bus!
He's like General Huerta.
Let's go.
Why,Johnson.
You mistake your man.
I'm not Johnson.
I'm the prophet Elijah.
Sounds familiar.
I want to join you.
Is it so?
By the way...
do you know Proverbs?
"A prudent man foreseeth the evil
and hideth himself...
but the simple pass and are punished. "
"Train up a child in the way he should go...
and when he is old,
he will not turn from it. "
"The rich rules over the poor,
and the borrower is servant to the lender. "
"A generous man will be blessed,
for he shares his food with the poor. "
"Cast out the scorner,
and contention shall go out, yea...
strife and reproach shall cease. "
"The lazy man says, 'There is
a lion outside. I will be murdered. '"
"Foolishness is bound in
the heart of a child...
but the road of correction
shall drive it far from him. "
"If you cannot pay, your very bed
will be taken from under you. "
If you have a cigarette,
you can come along.
Oh, yes.
I haven't seen a tractor for a long time.
GOLDEN CALF
#Ten brothers out in the road #
# And not in a hurry
We're moving slow #
# Got to carry on with this thing #
# A thing we like to call a show #
#There's nothing #
# Like Matuschka #
# No one like Matuschka #
#Taking care of us best as she can #
# She's the biggest, meanest,
best of them all #
# So don't you mess
with her traveling sons ##
Pharisean!
The life of the great
Russian writer Maxim Gorky was very hard.
Ouch! So is my life!
You must sing, Elijah.
Maxim is drunk again.
"Priests must not shave their heads...
or shave off the edges
of their beards...
or cut their bodies. "
Shut up and sing!
We need gasoline.
# kill watch, kill watch #
# kill watch #
# kill, kill, kill, kill
watch, watch, watch, watch #
# Keom ken ken aba#
# For several days alli do is repeat #
#This little tune
that's getting on my nerves #
# kill, kill, kill, kill
watch, watch, watch, watch #
# Keom ken ken aba#
# It's gotta be contagious
because instead of saying hello #
# My neighbors sing it out
whenever they see me #
# kill kill watch
kill kill watch #
# kill kill watch
kill kill watch #
# kill kill watch
kill kill watch #
# kill kill watch
kill kill watch #
# kill, kill, kill, kill,
kill, kill, kill watch #
# kill watch
kill watch #
# kill watch #
# kill, kill, kill, kill
watch, watch, watch, watch #
# Keom ken ken aba#
# I went to see the local doctor #
# In less than an hour
I had contaminated him #
# kill, kill, kill, kill
watch, watch, watch, watch #
# Keom ken ken aba#
#The director of an asylum locked me up #
# But the next day
he was singing at my side #
# kill kill watch
kill kill watch #
# kill kill watch
kill kill watch #
# kill kill watch
kill kill watch #
# kill kill watch
kill kill watch #
- #Watch, watch, watch #
- # kill kill kill kill kill kill watch #
# kill watch
kill watch #
# kill watch ##
WARSAW POW ISLE STATION
He's dangerously sick.
He needs a hospital.
We need money.
You have money. We know.
Believe me, I don't.
Everything went for the gasoline.
We don't trust you anymore.
All right.
# I woke up this morning last night #
#The sun was rising down #
WARSAW CENTRAL STATION
# I woke up this morning last night #
#The sun was rising down #
# Hellhounds were dragging me, oh #
# I was dragging the hellhounds #
#Well, tell me about it #
# Am I right, or am I left? #
#Well, tell me about it #
# Am I right, or am I left? #
# Baby, I'm gonna lay me
Please help me #
#To the long, long bed #
# It felt like was no bed at all #
# Damn, it was not a bed like at all #
# My mojo feeling was gone #
# I went Hudson River up and down ##
Yeah.
Same thing happened to me...
when I was a child.
If you help me to get the Liberty
back to the United States of America...
I will make you the new Frank Valance.
And the first concert
we start in Las Vegas.
Hello. Where are you going, sir?
Please come back. You haven't paid.
Classical]
USSR BORDER 2 KM
Classical]
RUSSIAN FEDERATION BORDER
Five rubles for an idea.
I have only two fish...
so I eat them myself.
It is written in the Holy Bible...
that Moses never sees the promised land.
That is why...
I, Moses...
have to go back to the European Community.
Yeah.
Collect all empty bottles.
GREEN - RED
Spurs Jangling ]
Passport.
Colonel Vladimir Kuzmin,
rock-and-roll manager.
My beloved.
My dear.
Congratulations.
# Oh, my darling #
# Oh, my darling #
# Oh, my darling Clementine ##
# Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay! #
# Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay! #
# Tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila! #
# Yo tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila! #
Nolo tengo dinares,
no, dos, tres, cuatro!
# Tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila! #
# Yo tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila! #
Si, si, Nolo tengo dinares,
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro!
# Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay! #
# Tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila! #
# Yo tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila! #
Si, Nolo tengo dinares,
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro!
# Tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila! #
# Yo tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila! #
Caramba!Nolo tengo dinares!
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro!
# Tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila! #
# Yo tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila! #
# Tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila!#
# Yo tengo una heartbreaker nina #
# Ay, ay, tequila!##
Ole!