Mogambo (1953) Movie Script
Laddie, our luck's in.
Black leopard, laddie.
Black leopard nosing the kill.
Get the jeep, Brownie.
Boltchak!
Come on, on your feet. Let's go.
Don't let him twist that net.
Come on, get around there.
Get a move on, man.
Easy, Boltchak!
- Big time! He's a big one!
- Yeah. Young too.
Boltchak, stop that!
Who's there? Bunny?
Bunny?
No, this is not Bunny.
Who are you?
May I ask who you are, why you're here...
...and what in blue blazes is going on?
- My name is Eloise Kelly.
Better known in the gay capitals of Europe
as "Honey Bear" Kelly.
The first thing that's going on is my robe,
on your arm there...
...if you'll be so cooperative.
With pleasure, Miss Kelly.
Stop. Throw.
Turn around.
No kidding, find Bunny
and tell him I'm here, will you?
I'd be glad to, if you'd tell me
who Bunny is and where I'd find him.
The Maharajah of Bunganore.
Didn't he tell you I was coming?
So you came down to visit
with the Maharajah?
Sure. All the way from New York.
I think it's a dirty trick he wasn't on hand
to meet me when I came.
- Didn't he tell you?
- No. The Maharajah is in India.
He left here a week ago.
- He didn't.
- Yes, he did.
It seems someone is trying to take away
some of his palaces.
So he went back
to see what he could do about it.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
Didn't he say anything about me,
that I was coming or anything?
No, he didn't.
Just between you and me,
I think he's turned out to be a big heel.
He didn't even leave you a return ticket.
Look, Mr. Whoever-You-Are,
let me jump to my own conclusions.
Of all the rotten, subversive tricks.
Flying all the way, thousands of miles,
to this lousy place...
...arriving here hot and tired
as a Sixth Avenue mink...
That water's even hotter, and that soap
gives out as much lather as blue cheese.
I'm the man that owns this building,
the shower, and the soap.
- I wouldn't be proud of it.
- This is my home, be it ever so humble.
I had to have some place to go.
I couldn't get a word out of laughing boy
over there...
...with the sleigh bells in his ears.
Of all the dirty...
Bawling out the Maharajah long-distance
isn't going to do any good.
If you'll pardon my subtlety...
I'm not so sure I'd want you on safari
in the first place.
I run a business here.
I'm working these men.
They have to keep their mind on work...
Look, buster,
don't you get overstimulated with me.
I'm the little gal that flew all the way
from New York...
...to this lousy place, this Dark Continent.
Only I expected to find
a man with a flashlight.
I suggest you use up some of that energy
in getting your clothes on.
- I'll assign you to a room at the other end.
- Wait a minute.
Can't you get me a canoe, or a truck,
or roller skates to get out of here?
Trucks couldn't get through this country,
even if I could spare one.
You're stuck with us
until next week's boat.
- You mean there's no way to get out?
- No.
Now, weren't you going to do something
about getting dressed?
Boy.
This will be the gayest week
of the season.
Plenty deep, all right.
I thought I told you to replace
that barbed wire.
We went after a black leopard,
remember, laddie?
I'm sorry, Brownie.
Hi, girl. Hello. How are you? Come here.
All right, let's get on with the feeding.
What do you think I'm doing now?
Vic, you're getting too unstrung
for your own good.
Why don't you fly out to Nairobi
or even Cairo for a week or two?
You haven't been out of here
for just on a year.
I'd like to, but Dorgenbeck's yelling
for those two white hippo.
And I'll pick that cat up, if I have
to run him all the way to the Congo.
I know. But you need relaxation.
And the little trinket that's dropped
from the Maharajah's turban...
...she's a spry little bit.
That's playgirl stuff.
I've seen them in London, Paris, Rome.
They start life in a New York nightclub...
...and end up covering the world
like a paint advertisement.
Not an honest feeling
from her kneecap to her neck.
Getting rather meticulous, aren't you?
Maybe. Maybe it's about time.
Everything snarls around this joint.
Hi. How are you, boy? You're a nice guy.
Hi, fellas. Hi, boy.
Hi, boy.
Hey, you wanna chew some gum?
Hey, Kelly, get away from that chimp.
And stop feeding him bubblegum.
- Can't anybody be friendly around here?
- Friendly? That chimp?
He'd bite your finger off just for fun.
- But he was only...
- It's your lookout.
His teeth are poison.
Once they sink into you, you'll blow up...
...like an eggplant.
- All the other animals are being fed.
May I ask what time we get ours?
You may not hear it with the other noises,
but I'm beginning to rumble.
We dine at 9.
How continental.
Come here, darling.
You're such a nice little baby.
Come on over.
Come on, little baby. You're nice.
This is Miss Kelly.
Mr. Brown-Pryce, Mr. Boltchak.
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
Mr. Marswell, you look a lot better.
I bet you even smell better.
Let's hope your temper's the equivalent.
It's on an even keel.
It'll probably improve with food.
Now that's my nice, healthy boy.
The Nordleys are coming out
by next week's boat...
...instead of the following.
Good. That means we can get rid of them
one week earlier.
- I'm handing them over to you, Boltchak.
- Relatives, I take it?
No, customers. He's an anthropologist.
He's going on safari.
You'll have to excuse me,
I left my cap and gown at the cleaners.
Anthropologist.
He studies man and man's development,
looks for skulls...
...examines heads and all that.
Examines heads. Should have met him
before I left New York.
He could have examined both mine.
Let's not get sick over this, gentlemen.
It's not that funny.
You're so good, Miss Kelly.
That ends that, doesn't it? No kidding,
I've never met scientific types.
I'd like to meet them.
I might learn something.
I don't think you'll be seeing
too much of them.
You'll be wanting to get back
on the same boat.
Okay, coach, take me out. I'm through.
Wait! Hey, wait a minute!
Hey, wait for me! Wait!
Hey, a kangaroo.
I'm sorry, I can't sleep with that lion
or whatever it is chirping.
- Do you mind if I stay here for a while?
- No, have a seat.
- Sure I won't bother you?
- No, not at all.
- New batch of magazines came in today.
- Good.
What makes him do that? Is he hungry?
There's probably a lioness lurking
in the bush out there somewhere.
I guess there's all sorts of hunger
in the world, isn't there?
This is a weird sort of business to be in,
collecting animals.
I guess it's fun for a man, isn't it?
When it's profitable.
You sell them to zoos?
Circuses, trainers.
How much do you get...
...for a baby elephant, for instance?
A dumbo?
Is that really the name for them?
- Around $5000. Tough to ship, though.
- I saw a baby elephant in the zoo once.
He was sucking on a gallon jug of milk
with a nipple attached.
Can you imagine that?
A whole gallon of milk.
Their mothers carry much more than that.
More than a gallon?
I know. Have you got any kangaroos?
What do you get for a kangaroo?
You have to go to Australia for kangaroos.
Yes. Like I said,
I was educated at the York Club.
I'd like to see a kangaroo close up.
A mama kangaroo.
Is it true that they carry their babies
in a little pouch thing?
- That's right. All marsupials do that.
- Ma... What?
Animals that carry their young,
like a papoose in reverse.
Isn't that the darnedest thing.
Everything but a zipper, huh?
- Kelly, you're all right. How about a drink?
- I'd love one.
- Sorry about no ice.
- It's all right.
Doctors say it's bad
for your pouch, anyway.
- Soda or water?
- Water. I find always that with water...
- What's the matter?
- Do something!
- That's just old Joe.
- Old Joe?
Yes. He's our migratory mousetrap.
I bet there isn't a rat or a mouse
within 100 yards of this place.
Oh, boy, to think I haven't had
my first drink yet.
I have old Joe around to trap young girls
into where you are right now.
Oh, now, Mr. Marswell...
...I don't imagine you
need old Joe for that.
The river looks awfully pretty
in the moonlight, doesn't it?
Wait a minute.
You're turning
into the original African hotrod.
I can always quit.
You can be nice and sweet
when you want to, can't you?
How do you know?
Maybe you spoke too soon.
I'm warning you. I'm searching.
I'm looking, really I am.
I'll look with you for a little while.
Still pounding away at that old rogue?
Hi. It's the only piece of jazz
I've been able to find around this place.
It's been played more in the last week
than the last 30 years.
No kidding.
Have you been out here that long?
I came out here for my health.
- I found it. I'm still here.
- Where did you get that scar?
An old buffalo charged.
First barrel misfired,
and we danced around a bit.
- That's one way to die, isn't it? Dancing.
- I don't know.
- Where did you get yours?
- What?
Your scars.
You've got them,
though they're not visible.
Sorry. I'm a nosy old idiot, my dear.
You're pretty smart.
Nice, gentle smart, though.
Someday when I know you better
I'll tell you all about it.
Listen to old Trader Horn out there.
"Attaboy. Chop, chop, bwana master."
- All packed, Kelly?
- My, we're busy as... Packed?
The boat's here in 10 minutes.
Muntala'll take your luggage to the dock.
Animals ready for loading, Brownie?
Yes.
Hi, sweetie.
Hello, baby.
Come and say goodbye to your mommy.
Your mommy's going home.
Now, you be a good little boy.
Wash behind your ears every day,
and eat all your nice raw potatoes...
...so you'll grow up to be
a big, fat elephant.
And then step on your
Uncle Victor's corns every day.
Oh, oh, the boat. Yeah.
- I'll see your baggage aboard, my dear.
- Thank you. You've been very sweet.
- You're a nice girl.
- I get it, Brownie.
He's running a business
and I'm a bottleneck.
Sometimes a man can't see the one tree
because of the forest.
Someday he's gonna bump
into the wrong kind of tree...
...and get his nose busted.
Take care of yourself, Brownie.
And him too.
Here we are.
I wish you could stick around for a while,
but I'll be too busy...
Don't spell it out for me.
You know, my little white hunter,
it's high time I was on my way anyhow.
It's been...
- It's been nice having you here...
- Yes.
It's certainly been something
I didn't expect.
When the rainy season starts,
I might fly up to Paris.
If you happen to be there,
we might run into each other again.
Might.
Take it easy. Drop me a line.
- Hello, Vic. Hello, Brownie.
- Hello, John.
I have the happiness
to present Mr. Nordley.
- Mr. Marswell?
- Yes.
How do you do? We finally made it.
- Mr. Nordley, Brown-Pryce.
- How are you?
And Mrs. Nordley.
Linda, darling.
- Mrs. Nordley.
- Mrs. Nordley.
- How do you do?
- Mr. Brown-Pryce.
- Welcome.
- How do you do?
It's so exciting and thrilling
finally to arrive...
Take them up to the house, will you?
This way, please.
Hey, kid.
- Have you got money for your plane fare?
- Yeah.
- Wait a minute...
- I'll brain you if you don't take it.
Let's call it a 99-year loan.
This is one loan I'll pay back
if I have to live 99 years to do it.
Well, here we go. Bronx Zoo next.
- Everything all right? Good trip?
- This is charming.
Everything's so neat and clean.
I'll be unbearably frank
and say I didn't expect this.
I'll be frank and say
that you're a big surprise to me too.
In what way?
The wife of the last scientist
who was here...
...weighed 180 pounds
of pure muscle...
...had a good start on a mustache...
...and every time she spoke
to her husband...
...every lion in the territory took off.
He was a little man with a beard,
an authority on some kind of flea.
I sincerely hope I've disappointed you.
Come on, I'll show you your room.
This is Juma. He's your personal maid.
Anything you want, ask him.
You won't understand him,
but he will you.
- Isn't this nice?
- About the bed, I didn't know...
...so if you want twin beds...
- No.
- All right.
- Everything's most satisfactory.
- I have the beastliest ringing in my ears.
- Feeling down, darling?
It must be those shots we took.
The doctor said
they cause a reaction.
- What shots?
- Yesterday, at the settlement...
...the tsetse fly injections.
- Tsetse fly?
Your letter didn't say anything
about going to tsetse fly country.
We understood we had to go through
to get to the gorillas.
Not necessarily. And why gorillas?
It's a pet theory of mine.
I want to study gorillas,
their family life and so on.
Even get some of their vocal sounds
on a tape recorder I brought with me.
- It's a theory on the derivative evolution...
- I wouldn't understand.
Again, to be frank, it's a difficult safari,
and it doesn't fit with my schedule.
If I'd known about this,
I wouldn't have taken the job.
Why?
You can't promise anything with gorillas
but trouble.
Some have worked for ten months
and never even glimpsed one.
I have other work to attend to.
- Donald's perfectly willing to pay...
- I'm sorry.
We'll have to stand by
the original agreement.
I'll hand you over to one of my assistants,
Mr. Boltchak. Perfectly capable...
- I want to work with you.
- Mr. Marswell...
...Mr. Nordley made
his arrangements with you.
He made them with my company,
my organization.
Are you all right?
I think perhaps a glass of water...
- Donald, darling.
- Don't get excited.
What's the matter with him?
Excessive reaction to the tsetse fly shot,
that's all.
He'll be out of his head for a day or two.
We'll snap him out of it.
I've got tablets.
Don't let him throw this blanket off.
The shoes.
Our young scientist just went
to his knees. Out cold. Tsetse fly shot.
That's too bad.
Mr. Marswell, he's trembling
and shaking and getting nauseated.
We've got to get him to a doctor.
Moving him would aggravate
his condition.
He's running a high fever.
We have to break it up.
- Haven't you a thermometer?
- We don't need one. Fever is fever.
But...
Just a minute, please, will you?
Would one of these be...?
A lion chewed him up.
This place is turning into a hospital.
Strap him up, Brownie.
Would one of these be the right thing?
Donald knows all about them...
Sorry. Out here, we have three antidotes
for everything:
Quinine, iodine, and castor oil.
Quinine should fix him up very nicely.
I don't think he needs
the other two, do you?
At certain times,
jokes are in very poor taste.
Come on, no reason to lose your temper.
Please hurry.
There you are.
He'll start to sweat in half an hour or so.
Keep him well covered up.
I'll be back from time to time.
He's strong enough, all right.
Got a bite like a young croc.
Mr. Marswell, just a minute.
Is that all you're going to do for him?
What do you expect me to do?
Crawl in bed with him and hold his hand?
Keep him well covered up
and get all the water down him you can.
- Will you do that? Will you do what I said?
- Yes.
And give him one of those pills
every four hours.
Good night.
Mr. Marswell.
Oh, no, please sit still.
It's time for his pill
but he's sleeping so well...
...I didn't want to wake him.
I'll have a look.
Boltchak, play cards.
- Much better. Let him sleep.
- All right.
Good night.
I'd like to apologize about this morning.
I'm terribly ashamed.
I had it coming.
- You pack a good wallop.
- Please.
It was very shabby behavior.
- I hope you'll be comfortable on that.
- Yes, thank you.
It was most thoughtful of you.
What on earth are those horrible sounds?
An animal of some kind?
Yes. They're hippos fighting.
- Why are they fighting?
- Probably over a female.
- Thank you very much for everything.
- I'll put it on the bill.
My room is the last one
on the porch corridor...
...in case he needs anything
during the night.
Thank you again.
Good night.
Nordley come out of it yet?
Yes. They're both feeling much better.
Two pretty girls in one week.
Kelly.
I'm going to miss Kelly.
Kelly was all right.
I didn't say she wasn't, did I?
Take it easy going up them stairs.
Give me a bag. Throw me a bag up.
- Which one?
- The little one.
Here you are.
- There you are.
- Thank you.
Hold on, and I'll get the others up to you.
I've got hold of one more. You want that?
- Leave it for Marswell.
- I've got it now.
I'm coming up the stair with it.
You women and your bags.
Hi there.
Anybody up on the old homestead?
Hi. The return of Frankenstein.
- What happened?
- Shipwrecked...
...and me without a desert island
to my name.
A catastrophe,
a bleeding bellyful of bad luck.
- He's stinking.
- How come? Where?
About three miles down the river,
the engine packs up.
The current got hold of us
and drifted us onto a mud bar.
What about the cages?
The animals all right?
They're all right.
We left the crew to look after them.
- We came here in the tender.
- Tender? I'll say it was.
Hi, Brownie.
And in the dark too.
Any minute I expected to be
up to me hips in hippopotamuses.
You got me doing it now.
Could you send a couple of your boys
to the settlement with the news?
Boltchak, go get Muntala.
- Have a drink.
- Thank you, miss.
- How long will repairs take?
- No time at all.
Maybe a day after we
get the replacement.
It'll take us about three
or four weeks to get it.
Four weeks?
- Brownie, take him.
- Come on. Time for your nap.
Leon will bring the boys around for
a chat, they'll shove off in the morning.
Take the bottle with you.
Thank you, Mr. M.
Yeah, Brownie. Brownie!
I'm sorry.
Just a minute.
Mr. and Mrs. Nordley are in that room.
I'll have Boltchak move in with Brownie.
You can take his room.
- He'll be back soon.
- Yeah, the scientific characters.
They look kind of shiny new and young
to be scientific types, don't they?
- Yeah, but take it easy, will you?
- What do you mean?
You know, Mrs. Nordley has led
a sheltered sort of life, I guess...
...and, well, let's not get too informal.
You know what I mean.
I know what you mean.
You have as much gallantry in that remark
as you think I've got brains.
- Now, wait a minute...
- Never mind.
I'll just act like I was your sister,
down from Vassar for the holidays.
That was pretty lame talk.
But you know what I'm talking about.
It's possible that I have a slight inkling
as to your outlook on life.
Joe, get off my bed.
Scram!
Hi, baby. Come on, let me in.
Oh, come on.
Behave. Wait a minute, boy.
Wait.
Come on, now.
Hey, listen, save some for the little girl.
Wait a minute. Here, okay.
No, no. No more.
You're a nice little girl.
Here's one. Hey, wait!
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute!
You're such a pig.
You don't deserve any more. No!
Now, if you're not such a pig,
I'll feed you.
Here, little girl. Here, little girl.
Here, little girl. Here you are.
Here. Come on.
No, no!
Oh, hi.
How do you do?
My name is Mrs. Nordley.
I'm Kelly, Eloise Kelly.
I hear your husband isn't well.
Is he better?
- He's much, much better, thank you.
- That's good.
Mr. Marswell says
he's made a very quick recovery.
Speaking of friend Marswell,
I wonder where he is.
Probably out lassoing
some ferocious gazelle or something.
He took the captain to the boat in a truck.
Something about
bringing back the animals, I believe.
Boy, I wish I'd had a truck last night.
I haven't walked that far
since some palpitating halfback...
...tried to tell me he'd run out of gas.
You've been here on some sort of safari?
I was going on one,
or at least I thought I was.
I came to visit an old pal of mine,
the Maharajah of Bunganore.
- Do you mind?
- No.
But the big, thoughtless cad stood me up.
- He stood you...?
- In Americanese...
...that means that when I got here
he wasn't here.
Men can get you into all sorts of trouble,
can't they?
That was quite a shame.
When Marswell first heard about it,
he was furious...
...but then he calmed down,
and he was kind of sweet about it.
He's kind of cute, I guess.
He's a rough, mean man at times.
I must get your husband
to examine his head, see what's inside.
I hope the saga of my Ionely travels
hasn't shocked you.
I suppose girls are more conservative
up your way, aren't they?
With my husband almost well again,
I had it in mind to take a little walk...
...sort of get one's bearings.
- Nice day for it.
- Well, so be it.
Bless your big, bony knees.
Hi, Kelly.
You're up early.
You know me, the neurotic type,
insomnia.
Why didn't you tell a fella?
She's something.
She's the kind that makes men
want to break out of jail.
You been talking to Mrs. Nordley?
Well, now, look at him.
Knew to whom I was referring
right away.
Yeah, me and my crystal ball.
You and your crystal head.
Wipe that Emily Post look off your face.
I didn't endanger
your lily-white reputation.
- I said she's pretty.
- So she's pretty.
What the blue blazes has that
to do with the price of pork?
- She's nice too.
- Certainly.
- So she's nice. I said it first.
- Who cares who said it first?
- It might make her nicer if I said it first.
- All right. So you said it first.
- I better look in on him.
- Nordley's peacefully pounding his ear.
And not that you're interested,
but Mrs. Nordley has gone for a walk.
Gone for a walk? Where?
How should I know?
How do you like that?
Why didn't you try to stop her?
I had no idea people
couldn't go for a walk around here.
Mrs. Nordley walks off in the bush
like it was Hyde Park.
Take the jeep and go down the
forest trail. I'll take the river road.
Mrs. Nordley!
Linda, don't move.
Well, that's that.
Come on, let's go back to camp.
- I'm...
- Let's go.
I've certainly won myself the reputation
for being an utter fool.
I'm not so much worried
about your reputation as your health.
If anything should happen to you,
my reputation would suffer.
Doesn't a woman's reputation
mean anything to you?
Only if I'm personally interested.
Not very gracious, but understandable.
Donald will think I'm dreaming
when I tell him all this.
- Thank heavens you're a witness.
- Do you need one?
Donald's a husband who's believed
everything I've told him...
...since I was five years old.
Five years old? You were married
rather young, weren't you?
Actually, we were married when I was 20.
How long ago was that?
- Sorry.
- No, it's all right.
I'm 27. Satisfied?
You want me to forget it?
Not necessarily.
Have you ever been married?
I've never had the fortune
to find a lady who was interested.
That could be the remark
of a cynical man.
What have I to be cynical about?
I make my contribution to this
mixed-up world. What else is there?
That could be the remark
of a Ionely man.
Could be.
Looks like we're in for a little storm.
Let's go back to camp. Come on.
- You've been out walking?
- Sure.
Better be careful.
Mrs. Nordley nearly got into trouble.
- Did she?
- Yes.
She's under the delusion
she can wander off...
...without being in any danger.
From the wild animals, you mean.
Certainly. What else?
I don't know what happened
out in the bush...
...but the lady seemed to be in danger
right here on the porch.
You're seeing things, aren't you?
Hi, Brownie.
A party!
The Nordleys. It's their
first night here, so I thought...
Oh, yeah.
Good evening.
Feeling better?
I just have to get my clothes changed.
Be right with you.
Miss Kelly, this is my husband.
How do you do? Excuse me.
Gotta get dressed, you know.
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
- Would you like a drink?
- Yes, thank you.
- Who was the young girl?
- Miss Kelly.
"Honey Bear." American.
Judging by your appetite,
you must be quite well again.
I feel wonderful.
Thanks to you, Dr. Marswell.
And you look it. What's more, you've
brought culture to Marswell's circus.
I love the custom black tie
in the middle of the jungle.
Do you know that before you got here
we wore onion sacks?
Anyone else wish to join me
in a little more of the grape?
Mrs. Nordley?
- It's good for the nerves, they tell me.
- No, thank you.
- Mine host?
- No, thanks.
That's right. I forgot.
These animal-catching characters
don't have many nerves...
...just one great big one.
You seem to have a real fondness
for that wine.
Any year, any model.
They all bring out my better nature.
It was a pretty exciting afternoon.
I can't tell you, Vic...
You don't mind if it's Vic and Donald
from now on, do you?
- Why not?
- And "Honey Bear"
Oh, yes.
I mean the luck in your getting back
in time to go after Linda.
Old girl, you could
have had a very bad mauling.
I hear you can get one anytime
in these parts...
...if you ask for it.
- More coffee, Mrs. Nordley?
- No, thank you.
You must realize even the smallest
of creatures in Africa are voracious.
I was reading only the other day
of an incident of the red driver ant.
It's a very tough insect.
Some poor blighter left his launch
at the riverbank...
...and along came an army of these ants
and ate up everything but the engine.
Good heavens.
We have hundreds of different varieties
of ants in this country.
Oh, yes, I saw quite a few ants
this afternoon.
But I guess they were just
the old-fashioned kind, huh?
All through, I guess.
Why don't we have some music
to soothe the savage breasts?
Do you play?
No, but you can pump
if you feel strong enough.
- I see, it's one of those.
- Yes.
"Coming Through the Rye".
That's a bit of home.
- Are you in good voice, Miss Kelly?
- No, but I feel like singing.
Give forth, then.
I say, that's absolutely delightful.
I'm a reedy tenor,
but I'll join you in this verse.
- Wonderful. Brownie, let's make it a trio.
- Yes.
- A bunch of wailing banshees, huh?
- All right.
I don't wanna interrupt
but I thought you'd want to know.
If you're willing to start, I'd be
glad to take you to gorilla country.
- Really? That's splendid.
- Provided you haven't changed your mind.
Changed our minds?
Hear that, Linda? Isn't it wonderful?
Yes, yes, simply wonderful.
I was thinking of that letter
from Ringling Brothers.
They offered a nice prize
for a pair of young ones.
I haven't been in gorilla country
for several years.
It'll be a good change of that routine
you were telling me about.
And since our two young guests
have it in their minds...
...well, we could kill several birds
with one stone...
...to coin a phrase.
I think it's absolutely wonderful.
You'll pardon my schoolboy enthusiasm,
but you see...
...Vic was so stubborn
about not taking us at first.
Why, he's just an old
quick-change artist...
...but real quick.
Do you know that one minute
he can be Trader Horn himself...
...and then suddenly
everything goes black...
...and out he comes,
dressed as Dr. Livingstone...
...I presume?
Fortunate for us, I'd say.
Nobody will be surprised but the gorillas.
Miss Kelly can come with us
as far as the district officer at Kenya.
Don't worry about me.
I'll be quite all right.
I'll sort of go into a monastic retreat...
...and realize how beautiful life really is.
We close up shop here except
for the boys looking after the animals.
You'll have a six weeks" wait,
or even longer.
We'll take her along as far
as the district officer at Kenya...
...and she can check out with his party.
Yes, I guess that could be arranged.
In that case, you'll be on the plane
for Cairo within a week or ten days.
Fine. The sooner the better...
...to coin a phrase.
I saw your light.
I thought you weren't asleep yet.
When do you plan to start?
We can be ready in about two days.
Full safari, I suppose.
Entire complement of boys.
Naturally.
You know this will delay the Dorgenbeck
and the Chicago Zoo order.
We can fill it quick enough
when we get back.
Vic, lad, that's a nice couple.
This is no good.
What are you talking about?
Nothing. Getting old, I'm afraid.
Good night.
Are they all Muntala's wives?
No, just six. The other three are cooking.
No kidding?
Yep, no kidding. Let's go.
Fascinating, eh, darling?
It's amazing. Look, what is that?
- Some sort of stork?
- Secretary bird.
Secretary birds. What a prosaic name.
- Why do they call them that?
- That's an unfair question.
I haven't the slightest idea.
That secretary on the left has a pair
of legs for the boss to drool over.
She looks like she's been chased
around the desk...
...and is now headed
for the pay window.
Miss Kelly, we shall certainly hate
to lose you.
Now, don't be greedy.
Let the others speak for themselves.
- Just what is our schedule?
- It's down the same stretch...
...for another two days
until we reach the river here.
There the Makuas will give us
canoes and paddle boys...
...where we'll proceed downriver
till we reach Kenya station.
At Kenya station,
we contact Jack Wood.
He's the district officer
of the Samburu territory.
The Samburus!
Those are the chaps
I particularly want to visit.
And that, Mrs. Nordley,
is where I leave you all.
You all.
- No tears?
- We'll give you a going-away party.
- Thank you.
- Where then?
Then we'll proceed on foot
to the Mountains of the Moon.
That's the beginning of gorilla country.
Look, what are those?
Impala.
What simply exquisite creatures.
- You'd think they had wings.
- It's the Aepyceros Melampus Suara.
They can clear a 12-foot obstacle
with a leap as long as 35, 40 feet.
You mustn't take the megaphone
away from the driver.
We'll pass Grant's Tomb
any moment now.
- He'll tell you who's buried there.
- I beg your pardon?
There's a handsome animal for you.
Thompson gazelle.
Lovely.
Who's the Mr. Thompson famous enough
to have a gazelle named after him?
He's a third baseman.
Hit a home run for the Giants once.
Won the pennant.
Miss Kelly, we'll give you
two going-away parties.
Well, I've got one for you.
See those zebras over there?
- Yes. The Equus Burchelli Granti.
- To me, they're zebras.
Are they born white with black stripes
or black with white stripes?
Actually, they're born black with...
I'm going on, aren't I?
Mrs. Nordley, this is quite a nice,
bright husband you have.
Information I'm already well aware of.
But I assure you that outside
of his niceness and his brightness...
...there are many other reasons
why I'm in love with him.
Thank you, old girl.
I'd say he was a very lucky man.
Better turn in early. We'll start at 5:00
in the morning to miss the heat.
Here. Hang on to this.
It's loaded.
All you have to do is pull the trigger.
Who do I point this at?
Leopards and lions have been known
to come into tents.
Thank you, Mr. Marswell.
Actually, in light of recent development...
...there'll be no danger of my
hitting you, will there?
- Look, Kelly, don't. We know each other...
- Never mind, Marswell.
It was just a dumb crack
that doubled right back at me.
Boy, how stupid can a gal get?
Good night, Kelly.
Good night.
- Everything all right? Anything you need?
- Everything's just fine, thank you.
- Good night, then.
- Just a moment, will you, please?
For several days now,
Miss Kelly's been making...
...well, at least, insinuations.
I wouldn't let her upset me.
She'll be leaving us at Kenya station.
What would give her the right
to say things like that?
She saw us when we
walked up on the porch.
You must forget that,
that it ever happened.
It was just...
- Well, it was nothing.
- You want me to forget it?
That's why you changed your mind
about taking us on this trip.
Plus you're not in love
with your husband.
- You mustn't say that!
- Though you said you were.
- I know why you said it.
- I said it because it's true.
I am in love with Donald.
You asked me why I never married.
Maybe you yourself are the reason, Linda.
Linda.
I'll see you in the morning.
Hello, Vic. I just won 15 shillings
in a poker game. Meet my expenses.
- Good.
- Good night.
I'm tired.
Looks like the start
of some exciting weeks, eh, darling?
- Lin?
- What?
Of course, darling.
That Kelly girl is certainly a different type
from any I've met.
Wonderful sense of humor. I like her.
And it's perfectly obvious, of course.
What is?
There was a thing between her and Vic
before we arrived.
And now we are the villains.
In some odd way we've broken it up.
Not that I blame her, of course.
Vic's a devilishly attractive chap.
Don't you think so? As a woman?
I suppose so.
All I know is I'm glad you saw me first.
- Good night, darling.
- Good night, Donald.
Welcome, Victor.
- How are you, Victor?
- Fine, thank you.
- How do you do?
- Hello, Father.
Mr. and Mrs. Nordley
from England.
How do you do, Father?
Your music is wonderful, Father,
although it frightened me at first.
It's hardly Catholic. But it's a song
of welcome, and that's Christian.
We're just in time for lunch.
Brownie, you're not still on a diet?
Never, Father.
- Miss Kelly, Father Josef.
- How do you do?
How do you do?
You're just in time for lunch.
So you good people are going
to the gorilla country?
Precarious animals.
A friend of mine at mission preparatory...
...had his head torn from his body
by one of them beasts.
That was carelessness,
you know that.
We're relying on Victor
to see that we retain our heads.
I can't wait to see them
in their natural habitat.
The truest exemplary link between
modern man and his primitive derivation.
I think you and I could have a lusty debate
on the origin of man.
I'm afraid you'd prove too rugged
an opponent, Father.
I spoke to the chief...
...and you can have the canoes
and the men on the usual conditions.
- Not again.
- I'm afraid so, Victor.
What are the conditions?
Is there any trouble?
In order to get the men and canoes
to go into that strange country...
...the bwana mkubwa, the big chief,
the party of the first part...
...to which our friend Victor
must undergo what's known as...
...the ceremony of courage.
The ceremony of courage?
I don't think I've heard of it.
What is it, some sort of native custom?
It's sort of like a game of darts.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
That's a fine way to run a railroad, buster.
That's all right.
All right, Boltchak, load the boat.
Come on, we've got the canoes. Let's go.
Father, I'd like to speak to you a moment
when you have a chance.
- Certainly, my daughter.
- Thank you, Father.
Darling.
This is the jumping-off place.
Do you want to go on or turn back?
What on earth makes you say that?
You're taking me seriously.
I'd as soon turn back as...
Do you feel all right?
I'm sorry. I'm just a bit edgy.
I didn't sleep too well.
I know. It was an exciting evening.
You take a sedative tonight.
Get in the swing of things, darling.
With the world the way it is,
we may never have this chance again.
Let's live every minute of it.
Good morning.
I know everybody's in a terrible rush
this morning...
...but I thought perhaps
we could have a few words together.
Yes?
I've been the champion of female
Airedales and I'd like to apologize.
What on earth for?
I assure you, there's nothing...
I'm feeling a great deal better
about life today.
So let's level, shall we?
I'm not blaming you by apologizing.
I'd just like to tell you
that I know how it is with you and Vic.
We girls are pretty smart
about those things, aren't we?
Aren't you being presumptuous
in assuming any...
Please, honey,
don't let me sit here with egg on my face.
I came here to be your friend.
The only way I know how
is to tell you that I understand.
It can happen.
He's an attractive burglar...
Really, if you'll excuse me,
I must finish my packing.
All right. I'll get out.
But keep your head, will you?
You're sitting pretty.
You're a lovely, attractive woman.
You're married to a wonderful man.
Is it possible that all of this advice...
...is based on the fact
that you know Mr. Marswell...
...just a little more intimately
than I do?
Gosh, you are stuck, aren't you?
- Once and for all...
- You're jealous.
Shouldn't you examine
your own emotions in that light?
Don't worry about me.
I could be pea green with jealousy...
...and not hacked up any more
than I am already.
It's you we want to worry about.
This is no Sir Galahad
who loves from afar.
- This is a two-legged boa constrictor.
- I think you'd better leave.
All right, but remember,
I came here to be your friend.
For your sake.
And I'm keeping the offer open.
It'll be rugged, but I'll keep it open.
Go in the boat with Brownie.
I'll take Mrs. Nordley in the lead boat.
But wouldn't it be better if...?
- Do you mind, darling?
- Not at all.
That's just in case of emergency.
Are the men of this tribe
also polygamists like Muntala?
Only those who can afford
more than one wife.
It seems unfair to take them away
from their families.
You mean the men are taking a chance?
I'm quite sure that's what I mean.
No. The natives have
all sorts of devices...
...to prevent their women
from being stolen.
In most tribes
there's a pre-marriage ordeal...
...that guarantees fidelity.
Really? What's that, pray?
Let's see if I can...
Linda, look.
Isn't he beautiful?
Perfect specimen.
He's clean too.
Just had his Saturday night bath.
Look!
Reminds me of somebody I know.
You were saying about this device
for guaranteed fidelity...
Why wouldn't it pass
in the civilized world?
Primarily because you women
would probably vote it down.
But why?
Because it's a means whereby a woman
is rendered incapable of being unfaithful.
- I think I understand.
- Sorry to be so blunt about it.
No. It was my denseness.
I should have realized.
Brother, I can take your Cook's tour
around the zoo...
...but when we get on this mental
striptease...
...and hide behind
Louisa May Alcott...
...I want a powder.
Brownie. Watch it. Hippo.
Kenya, heart of the Samburu.
I'm terribly keen on seeing those chaps.
There doesn't appear
to be a committee to welcome us.
Brownie, looks like this is
where I leave you.
I'm glad somebody's glum about it.
It's Vic. Vic Marswell.
Get your party out of here fast.
- What happened?
- Caught them ivory poaching.
When the corporal was taking
down the colors last night...
...they came at us.
- Where are the rest of your men?
- Got two of them out last night.
It'll take several days
before police reserves arrive.
Get your party out quick.
These two... Good boys.
Don't bother about me.
I've had it.
There are gorillas. Three or four
families in the next valley.
- How do you know they'll stay?
- I don't. These people are great trackers.
We'll start out first thing in the morning.
Thanks.
- Good evening.
- Hi, Brownie.
Sit down and join the picnic.
You know me well enough now
to tell me about your scars?
Nothing new, Brownie.
Happens to lots of people.
We'd just been married three weeks
when Johnny had to sail...
...and two months later I get a telegraph
from the War Department...
...telling me that he and his little P-51...
You know, he had "Honey Bear"
painted on the nose.
Anyway, they both blew up
in a million pieces somewhere over Berlin.
You know, as short as it lasted,
it was like being blessed for a lifetime.
So you hit the high spots
and the gay beaches trying to forget him?
Yeah. Great strength of character.
But you'd know it if you met it again.
I say, you'd know it
if you met it again.
Yes, Brownie, I'd know it.
- Look.
- Flamingos.
- Gorillas.
- What?
Gorilla country.
It's nice up here, isn't it? High.
Yes, it is nice, for a change.
I don't like mosquito netting.
It separates people, doesn't it?
Donald, please.
I've got to fix these things.
Perhaps it's altitude,
but I feel very light-headed.
- Don't you feel the least bit light-headed?
- Don't, Donald, please.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, darling. It's nothing.
It's just that I'm terribly tired.
That long climb today. I don't know...
Come now, we've got a very
early start in the morning.
I don't know if I'll quite feel up to it.
Donald, please turn that light off.
It's shining straight in my eyes.
Right now.
Lin, darling.
You still my girl?
Don't be so childish.
That's good enough for me.
Why don't you come along?
You might find gorillas interesting.
Gorillas?
A month ago,
I was buying a bra at Macy's.
Now I'm studying gorillas yet.
No, thank you.
I'll stick around and help Muntala cook.
What did he say?
He says you can't even cook.
Gorilla. Lots of them.
- Is the battery ready?
- Yeah.
I didn't know they could climb trees.
Only the young ones do.
Donald, camera.
Ready to photograph a bull gorilla?
Why, yes. Wonderful.
Brownie, cover us.
Don't move back.
Don't budge an inch.
Hold still.
He's trying to bluff us.
Bring your camera up slowly.
- Brownie.
- What, chief?
- Watch the young bull.
- Got him.
There's the one
we want to pick up tomorrow.
That's the last we'll see of them today.
The boys can keep track of them tonight,
and we'll bring up the nets tomorrow.
This is the film and one of the reels.
Will you take them back
and keep them somewhere cool?
- Precious stuff.
- Of course.
Think you got anything
with that camera?
I hope so,
but I must admit I was pretty scared.
- Frightened to death.
- You were scared?
I'll never forget the first one I saw.
- Linda was all right too.
- You hear that, darling?
They're a strange beast, gorilla.
You can bluff them sometimes,
and then sometimes...
We'll see tomorrow, when we net them.
Is it all right for me to stay up overnight
and get some night sounds?
Of course. It's not going to be
very comfortable for Linda, though.
I don't exactly want to get rid of you,
but you don't mind, do you?
No, of course not, Donald.
You stay up here with Donald.
Do you mind?
- Just as you say.
- Keep whatever boys you want.
- Boltchak?
- No.
I like my comforts in life too.
Darling.
If you're looking for Vic...
...he's taking a walk with Mrs. Nordley.
Do you realize that just from the way
I can't stop myself looking at you...
...that everybody knows?
- Everybody but Donald.
- At times I feel like...
- I know. I feel it myself.
But he has to be told, that's all.
I don't know how to tell him.
You stay in camp tomorrow.
I'm going up the hill.
- Do you understand?
- Yes.
Mind if I join the marshmallow roast?
No. Sit down.
Did you have a nice moonlight
constitutional?
- Very pleasant.
- "Pleasant," the man says.
At least that's gallantry.
It's none of my business...
...but old Donzy boy
is not such a bad shot.
And he'd be well within his rights
if he suddenly decided to take home...
...a little trophy from this paper chase.
As a matter of fact, your head would look
pretty decorative over his mantelpiece.
With your big ears stuck out
like an elephant about to charge.
Get off my back, Kelly.
I'm in no mood for it.
You mean that?
Vic, look at me.
This is no hit-and-run this time, is it?
You're really in love.
You better go to bed.
All right. I guess that's it.
I don't know how you'll solve this
or what good is going to come of it...
...but whatever you do, Vic,
I wish you all the happiness in the book.
Go on to bed, kid.
Black king. What do I want
with an old black king?
Okay. Let him go. He'll find out.
Little boy with a Daisy air rifle.
"And, gee, Dad, it was just my size!"
Brownie. You and Boltchak
check the nets on the other side.
The nets wobble.
That net's falling apart back there.
You know that, don't you?
You sure you still want
to go through with this?
Certainly, Vic.
It might be a little dangerous, you know.
The old ones are sure to charge the net
when they...
Brownie's around and they're trying
to rope a young one for you.
- Donald.
- Yes, Vic?
- I want to talk to you.
- Just a minute, Vic.
- Cigarette?
- Yes, thanks.
We might as well
make ourselves comfortable.
This may take five minutes,
it may take an hour.
Depends on their disposition.
- We can sit here and talk.
- Good. We haven't had much opportunity.
When I admire a fellow
I always like to get to know him better...
...exchange points of view and all that.
I like to have everything aboveboard too.
I'm glad to have
this opportunity of saying...
...that I think that everything's
been handled simply magnificently.
Things haven't gone off
exactly like they might have, but...
Truly, this will be one of the most
memorable experiences of my life.
It's only that...
I'm disappointed for Linda's sake,
that's all.
What about Linda?
Her not coming up today,
not feeling up to it and all.
I realize now that much as I
enjoy this sort of thing...
...field trips, roughing it, so to speak...
...it's not for Linda at all.
- She wanted to come up, but I told her...
- Yes, I know. She's been wonderful...
...making her pretenses in enjoying it.
But that's for my sake, you know.
She's been so moody of late,
almost irritable once or twice.
And believe me, Vic,
that's not like Linda at all.
The night before last she even forgot
it was our wedding anniversary.
That's usually the husband's blunder,
you know.
No, these trips aren't for Linda.
I suppose it's home in Devonshire
from now on...
...raising that family
sooner than I expected.
Forgive me if I tell you
how much I'm in love with her.
Do I have to forgive you for that?
Seriously. It's been great to become
friends with a fellow like you.
We're so different, you see.
I imagine you've had to rub and sweat,
even for every penny you've made...
...and everything you've
wanted to build. Me?
I'm one of those
silver-spoon chaps, I suppose.
I've been spouting
a whole autobiography.
Tell me something about yourself.
To begin with,
if I'm not too beastly inquisitive...
...we have wondered why
an attractive chap like you...
...has never got himself a wife.
I've been too busy collecting animals.
He's coming out now.
Stop talking
and watch what you came for.
- You certainly saved my life...
- You didn't think I planned it?
The last thing I wanted to do
was knock him over.
- No, of course...
- Let's stop the chatter for a while.
- Sorry. The little one got away.
- Never mind.
Tell Boltchak to stay up here.
Tell him I want to examine the gorilla.
Fine gorilla. Very fine specimen.
I'd say he weighed
close up to 700 or 800 pounds.
I say, Boltchak.
Do you have any idea
why Vic stalked off like that...
...going back to camp
with hardly a word?
I'd say he had a very good reason
for hurrying back to camp.
Here. Have some more.
I must have said something to upset him.
If you don't know the reason,
I'd begin to find out if I were you.
What do you mean by that?
If I had a wife as pretty as yours...
...I'd find out fast enough.
We'll go back to the canoes
the first thing in the morning...
...get an early start.
Everything goes.
Where is everybody?
- Still up there.
- Did you get the baby gorillas?
Everything fouled up.
You don't look much like a bridegroom...
...who cometh forth from his chamber
and rejoiceth at...
You don't look so hot.
I don't feel so hot.
You got left on third, huh, Marzy?
Didn't even go to bat.
You couldn't tell him?
No.
- You went noble.
- I went yellow.
You went noble.
How do you plan to break the news
down the street?
I'll think of some way.
That's just the way to keep you
clearheaded, of course.
Sometimes it gets you nasty
enough to get a nasty job done.
Then don't be so stingy
with your nastiness, partner.
Come here. Let's have a drink.
Like I've always said, Kelly,
you're all right.
- Here's to your noble nastiness.
- Skol, Kelly.
Drink up.
To the victor belongs the spoiled herring.
Victor, that's you. Vic. Joke. Laugh.
Yes, sir. You're all right, Kelly.
You've said that before, but I love it.
Don't worry, Vic.
I'm not trying to crawl back
into green pastures.
Poor old Marzy.
Got himself all tangled up
in one of his nets like a gorilla...
...and he doesn't know how to get out.
If you two will excuse me,
I think I shall retire.
No, don't.
There's plenty in the bottle yet...
...and more where that came from,
plenty for all of us.
Come on in, Linda. Join the party.
What are you so surprised about?
You always guessed Kelly and I
were old friends, didn't you?
It's all right for old friends
to have a drink, isn't it?
What are you saying? You're drunk.
Certainly I'm drunk, but I
certainly know what I'm saying.
Listen, Mrs. N,
you're not going to tell me...
...that you've been taking
all this seriously, are you?
You know how it is on safari.
It's in all the books.
The woman always falls
for the white hunter.
And we guys make the most of it.
Do you blame us?
When you come along
with that look in your eye...
...there isn't a guy
in the whole world who could...
- What's been going on?
- I'm glad you came in.
This big Congo Casanova has been after
your wife ever since she's been here.
She's been sport enough
to hold him off...
...and not tell you
to not spoil your fun.
Tonight he got her here on the pretext...
Well, he was pretty drunk.
So when I came tearing over here to help,
he was getting pretty bad...
...so she shot him,
as any decent woman would do.
- We're going, darling.
- Beat it.
Come on there. Get going.
If she hadn't I'd have done it myself.
Are you going to stand there
and bleed to death?
It's just a piece of skin.
Don't you go losing your head.
- You've done well up to now.
- Losing my head! Fine thing.
Stop talking
and put a bandage on this.
Then stop yelling at me.
Too bad you didn't teach her
to shoot a little straighter.
Africa and gorillas. Lions.
The only lions I ever want to see again
are the two in front of the Public Library.
- We're ready to shove off now.
- Darling.
- You can get into the boat now.
- Thank you, Brownie.
Are you sure you're ready to go?
Quite sure.
Now that you're leaving,
how about saying goodbye?
Okay. Goodbye.
I'm going to stay up there for a while...
...try and pick up a couple of baby
gorillas. Make the trip pay for itself.
- How about you sticking around?
- What for?
- I thought that maybe...
- No.
Nobody is gonna wring me out
and hang me up to dry again.
How about it?
As soon as I'm through up there...
...we could head back
and stop by Father Josef's.
Would you like that?
You mean you're gonna make
an honest woman out of me?
- It suits me, Kelly.
- It suits you?
Listen, you and your
quick-change acts...
...aren't hanging blossoms over me...
...because you feel the cold weather
coming on. No, thanks.
I'll go back where I can be honest
without getting kicked around.
I'll see you.
- What?
- Take good care of her!
I can't hear you.
I said, take good care of her!
Black leopard, laddie.
Black leopard nosing the kill.
Get the jeep, Brownie.
Boltchak!
Come on, on your feet. Let's go.
Don't let him twist that net.
Come on, get around there.
Get a move on, man.
Easy, Boltchak!
- Big time! He's a big one!
- Yeah. Young too.
Boltchak, stop that!
Who's there? Bunny?
Bunny?
No, this is not Bunny.
Who are you?
May I ask who you are, why you're here...
...and what in blue blazes is going on?
- My name is Eloise Kelly.
Better known in the gay capitals of Europe
as "Honey Bear" Kelly.
The first thing that's going on is my robe,
on your arm there...
...if you'll be so cooperative.
With pleasure, Miss Kelly.
Stop. Throw.
Turn around.
No kidding, find Bunny
and tell him I'm here, will you?
I'd be glad to, if you'd tell me
who Bunny is and where I'd find him.
The Maharajah of Bunganore.
Didn't he tell you I was coming?
So you came down to visit
with the Maharajah?
Sure. All the way from New York.
I think it's a dirty trick he wasn't on hand
to meet me when I came.
- Didn't he tell you?
- No. The Maharajah is in India.
He left here a week ago.
- He didn't.
- Yes, he did.
It seems someone is trying to take away
some of his palaces.
So he went back
to see what he could do about it.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
Didn't he say anything about me,
that I was coming or anything?
No, he didn't.
Just between you and me,
I think he's turned out to be a big heel.
He didn't even leave you a return ticket.
Look, Mr. Whoever-You-Are,
let me jump to my own conclusions.
Of all the rotten, subversive tricks.
Flying all the way, thousands of miles,
to this lousy place...
...arriving here hot and tired
as a Sixth Avenue mink...
That water's even hotter, and that soap
gives out as much lather as blue cheese.
I'm the man that owns this building,
the shower, and the soap.
- I wouldn't be proud of it.
- This is my home, be it ever so humble.
I had to have some place to go.
I couldn't get a word out of laughing boy
over there...
...with the sleigh bells in his ears.
Of all the dirty...
Bawling out the Maharajah long-distance
isn't going to do any good.
If you'll pardon my subtlety...
I'm not so sure I'd want you on safari
in the first place.
I run a business here.
I'm working these men.
They have to keep their mind on work...
Look, buster,
don't you get overstimulated with me.
I'm the little gal that flew all the way
from New York...
...to this lousy place, this Dark Continent.
Only I expected to find
a man with a flashlight.
I suggest you use up some of that energy
in getting your clothes on.
- I'll assign you to a room at the other end.
- Wait a minute.
Can't you get me a canoe, or a truck,
or roller skates to get out of here?
Trucks couldn't get through this country,
even if I could spare one.
You're stuck with us
until next week's boat.
- You mean there's no way to get out?
- No.
Now, weren't you going to do something
about getting dressed?
Boy.
This will be the gayest week
of the season.
Plenty deep, all right.
I thought I told you to replace
that barbed wire.
We went after a black leopard,
remember, laddie?
I'm sorry, Brownie.
Hi, girl. Hello. How are you? Come here.
All right, let's get on with the feeding.
What do you think I'm doing now?
Vic, you're getting too unstrung
for your own good.
Why don't you fly out to Nairobi
or even Cairo for a week or two?
You haven't been out of here
for just on a year.
I'd like to, but Dorgenbeck's yelling
for those two white hippo.
And I'll pick that cat up, if I have
to run him all the way to the Congo.
I know. But you need relaxation.
And the little trinket that's dropped
from the Maharajah's turban...
...she's a spry little bit.
That's playgirl stuff.
I've seen them in London, Paris, Rome.
They start life in a New York nightclub...
...and end up covering the world
like a paint advertisement.
Not an honest feeling
from her kneecap to her neck.
Getting rather meticulous, aren't you?
Maybe. Maybe it's about time.
Everything snarls around this joint.
Hi. How are you, boy? You're a nice guy.
Hi, fellas. Hi, boy.
Hi, boy.
Hey, you wanna chew some gum?
Hey, Kelly, get away from that chimp.
And stop feeding him bubblegum.
- Can't anybody be friendly around here?
- Friendly? That chimp?
He'd bite your finger off just for fun.
- But he was only...
- It's your lookout.
His teeth are poison.
Once they sink into you, you'll blow up...
...like an eggplant.
- All the other animals are being fed.
May I ask what time we get ours?
You may not hear it with the other noises,
but I'm beginning to rumble.
We dine at 9.
How continental.
Come here, darling.
You're such a nice little baby.
Come on over.
Come on, little baby. You're nice.
This is Miss Kelly.
Mr. Brown-Pryce, Mr. Boltchak.
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
Mr. Marswell, you look a lot better.
I bet you even smell better.
Let's hope your temper's the equivalent.
It's on an even keel.
It'll probably improve with food.
Now that's my nice, healthy boy.
The Nordleys are coming out
by next week's boat...
...instead of the following.
Good. That means we can get rid of them
one week earlier.
- I'm handing them over to you, Boltchak.
- Relatives, I take it?
No, customers. He's an anthropologist.
He's going on safari.
You'll have to excuse me,
I left my cap and gown at the cleaners.
Anthropologist.
He studies man and man's development,
looks for skulls...
...examines heads and all that.
Examines heads. Should have met him
before I left New York.
He could have examined both mine.
Let's not get sick over this, gentlemen.
It's not that funny.
You're so good, Miss Kelly.
That ends that, doesn't it? No kidding,
I've never met scientific types.
I'd like to meet them.
I might learn something.
I don't think you'll be seeing
too much of them.
You'll be wanting to get back
on the same boat.
Okay, coach, take me out. I'm through.
Wait! Hey, wait a minute!
Hey, wait for me! Wait!
Hey, a kangaroo.
I'm sorry, I can't sleep with that lion
or whatever it is chirping.
- Do you mind if I stay here for a while?
- No, have a seat.
- Sure I won't bother you?
- No, not at all.
- New batch of magazines came in today.
- Good.
What makes him do that? Is he hungry?
There's probably a lioness lurking
in the bush out there somewhere.
I guess there's all sorts of hunger
in the world, isn't there?
This is a weird sort of business to be in,
collecting animals.
I guess it's fun for a man, isn't it?
When it's profitable.
You sell them to zoos?
Circuses, trainers.
How much do you get...
...for a baby elephant, for instance?
A dumbo?
Is that really the name for them?
- Around $5000. Tough to ship, though.
- I saw a baby elephant in the zoo once.
He was sucking on a gallon jug of milk
with a nipple attached.
Can you imagine that?
A whole gallon of milk.
Their mothers carry much more than that.
More than a gallon?
I know. Have you got any kangaroos?
What do you get for a kangaroo?
You have to go to Australia for kangaroos.
Yes. Like I said,
I was educated at the York Club.
I'd like to see a kangaroo close up.
A mama kangaroo.
Is it true that they carry their babies
in a little pouch thing?
- That's right. All marsupials do that.
- Ma... What?
Animals that carry their young,
like a papoose in reverse.
Isn't that the darnedest thing.
Everything but a zipper, huh?
- Kelly, you're all right. How about a drink?
- I'd love one.
- Sorry about no ice.
- It's all right.
Doctors say it's bad
for your pouch, anyway.
- Soda or water?
- Water. I find always that with water...
- What's the matter?
- Do something!
- That's just old Joe.
- Old Joe?
Yes. He's our migratory mousetrap.
I bet there isn't a rat or a mouse
within 100 yards of this place.
Oh, boy, to think I haven't had
my first drink yet.
I have old Joe around to trap young girls
into where you are right now.
Oh, now, Mr. Marswell...
...I don't imagine you
need old Joe for that.
The river looks awfully pretty
in the moonlight, doesn't it?
Wait a minute.
You're turning
into the original African hotrod.
I can always quit.
You can be nice and sweet
when you want to, can't you?
How do you know?
Maybe you spoke too soon.
I'm warning you. I'm searching.
I'm looking, really I am.
I'll look with you for a little while.
Still pounding away at that old rogue?
Hi. It's the only piece of jazz
I've been able to find around this place.
It's been played more in the last week
than the last 30 years.
No kidding.
Have you been out here that long?
I came out here for my health.
- I found it. I'm still here.
- Where did you get that scar?
An old buffalo charged.
First barrel misfired,
and we danced around a bit.
- That's one way to die, isn't it? Dancing.
- I don't know.
- Where did you get yours?
- What?
Your scars.
You've got them,
though they're not visible.
Sorry. I'm a nosy old idiot, my dear.
You're pretty smart.
Nice, gentle smart, though.
Someday when I know you better
I'll tell you all about it.
Listen to old Trader Horn out there.
"Attaboy. Chop, chop, bwana master."
- All packed, Kelly?
- My, we're busy as... Packed?
The boat's here in 10 minutes.
Muntala'll take your luggage to the dock.
Animals ready for loading, Brownie?
Yes.
Hi, sweetie.
Hello, baby.
Come and say goodbye to your mommy.
Your mommy's going home.
Now, you be a good little boy.
Wash behind your ears every day,
and eat all your nice raw potatoes...
...so you'll grow up to be
a big, fat elephant.
And then step on your
Uncle Victor's corns every day.
Oh, oh, the boat. Yeah.
- I'll see your baggage aboard, my dear.
- Thank you. You've been very sweet.
- You're a nice girl.
- I get it, Brownie.
He's running a business
and I'm a bottleneck.
Sometimes a man can't see the one tree
because of the forest.
Someday he's gonna bump
into the wrong kind of tree...
...and get his nose busted.
Take care of yourself, Brownie.
And him too.
Here we are.
I wish you could stick around for a while,
but I'll be too busy...
Don't spell it out for me.
You know, my little white hunter,
it's high time I was on my way anyhow.
It's been...
- It's been nice having you here...
- Yes.
It's certainly been something
I didn't expect.
When the rainy season starts,
I might fly up to Paris.
If you happen to be there,
we might run into each other again.
Might.
Take it easy. Drop me a line.
- Hello, Vic. Hello, Brownie.
- Hello, John.
I have the happiness
to present Mr. Nordley.
- Mr. Marswell?
- Yes.
How do you do? We finally made it.
- Mr. Nordley, Brown-Pryce.
- How are you?
And Mrs. Nordley.
Linda, darling.
- Mrs. Nordley.
- Mrs. Nordley.
- How do you do?
- Mr. Brown-Pryce.
- Welcome.
- How do you do?
It's so exciting and thrilling
finally to arrive...
Take them up to the house, will you?
This way, please.
Hey, kid.
- Have you got money for your plane fare?
- Yeah.
- Wait a minute...
- I'll brain you if you don't take it.
Let's call it a 99-year loan.
This is one loan I'll pay back
if I have to live 99 years to do it.
Well, here we go. Bronx Zoo next.
- Everything all right? Good trip?
- This is charming.
Everything's so neat and clean.
I'll be unbearably frank
and say I didn't expect this.
I'll be frank and say
that you're a big surprise to me too.
In what way?
The wife of the last scientist
who was here...
...weighed 180 pounds
of pure muscle...
...had a good start on a mustache...
...and every time she spoke
to her husband...
...every lion in the territory took off.
He was a little man with a beard,
an authority on some kind of flea.
I sincerely hope I've disappointed you.
Come on, I'll show you your room.
This is Juma. He's your personal maid.
Anything you want, ask him.
You won't understand him,
but he will you.
- Isn't this nice?
- About the bed, I didn't know...
...so if you want twin beds...
- No.
- All right.
- Everything's most satisfactory.
- I have the beastliest ringing in my ears.
- Feeling down, darling?
It must be those shots we took.
The doctor said
they cause a reaction.
- What shots?
- Yesterday, at the settlement...
...the tsetse fly injections.
- Tsetse fly?
Your letter didn't say anything
about going to tsetse fly country.
We understood we had to go through
to get to the gorillas.
Not necessarily. And why gorillas?
It's a pet theory of mine.
I want to study gorillas,
their family life and so on.
Even get some of their vocal sounds
on a tape recorder I brought with me.
- It's a theory on the derivative evolution...
- I wouldn't understand.
Again, to be frank, it's a difficult safari,
and it doesn't fit with my schedule.
If I'd known about this,
I wouldn't have taken the job.
Why?
You can't promise anything with gorillas
but trouble.
Some have worked for ten months
and never even glimpsed one.
I have other work to attend to.
- Donald's perfectly willing to pay...
- I'm sorry.
We'll have to stand by
the original agreement.
I'll hand you over to one of my assistants,
Mr. Boltchak. Perfectly capable...
- I want to work with you.
- Mr. Marswell...
...Mr. Nordley made
his arrangements with you.
He made them with my company,
my organization.
Are you all right?
I think perhaps a glass of water...
- Donald, darling.
- Don't get excited.
What's the matter with him?
Excessive reaction to the tsetse fly shot,
that's all.
He'll be out of his head for a day or two.
We'll snap him out of it.
I've got tablets.
Don't let him throw this blanket off.
The shoes.
Our young scientist just went
to his knees. Out cold. Tsetse fly shot.
That's too bad.
Mr. Marswell, he's trembling
and shaking and getting nauseated.
We've got to get him to a doctor.
Moving him would aggravate
his condition.
He's running a high fever.
We have to break it up.
- Haven't you a thermometer?
- We don't need one. Fever is fever.
But...
Just a minute, please, will you?
Would one of these be...?
A lion chewed him up.
This place is turning into a hospital.
Strap him up, Brownie.
Would one of these be the right thing?
Donald knows all about them...
Sorry. Out here, we have three antidotes
for everything:
Quinine, iodine, and castor oil.
Quinine should fix him up very nicely.
I don't think he needs
the other two, do you?
At certain times,
jokes are in very poor taste.
Come on, no reason to lose your temper.
Please hurry.
There you are.
He'll start to sweat in half an hour or so.
Keep him well covered up.
I'll be back from time to time.
He's strong enough, all right.
Got a bite like a young croc.
Mr. Marswell, just a minute.
Is that all you're going to do for him?
What do you expect me to do?
Crawl in bed with him and hold his hand?
Keep him well covered up
and get all the water down him you can.
- Will you do that? Will you do what I said?
- Yes.
And give him one of those pills
every four hours.
Good night.
Mr. Marswell.
Oh, no, please sit still.
It's time for his pill
but he's sleeping so well...
...I didn't want to wake him.
I'll have a look.
Boltchak, play cards.
- Much better. Let him sleep.
- All right.
Good night.
I'd like to apologize about this morning.
I'm terribly ashamed.
I had it coming.
- You pack a good wallop.
- Please.
It was very shabby behavior.
- I hope you'll be comfortable on that.
- Yes, thank you.
It was most thoughtful of you.
What on earth are those horrible sounds?
An animal of some kind?
Yes. They're hippos fighting.
- Why are they fighting?
- Probably over a female.
- Thank you very much for everything.
- I'll put it on the bill.
My room is the last one
on the porch corridor...
...in case he needs anything
during the night.
Thank you again.
Good night.
Nordley come out of it yet?
Yes. They're both feeling much better.
Two pretty girls in one week.
Kelly.
I'm going to miss Kelly.
Kelly was all right.
I didn't say she wasn't, did I?
Take it easy going up them stairs.
Give me a bag. Throw me a bag up.
- Which one?
- The little one.
Here you are.
- There you are.
- Thank you.
Hold on, and I'll get the others up to you.
I've got hold of one more. You want that?
- Leave it for Marswell.
- I've got it now.
I'm coming up the stair with it.
You women and your bags.
Hi there.
Anybody up on the old homestead?
Hi. The return of Frankenstein.
- What happened?
- Shipwrecked...
...and me without a desert island
to my name.
A catastrophe,
a bleeding bellyful of bad luck.
- He's stinking.
- How come? Where?
About three miles down the river,
the engine packs up.
The current got hold of us
and drifted us onto a mud bar.
What about the cages?
The animals all right?
They're all right.
We left the crew to look after them.
- We came here in the tender.
- Tender? I'll say it was.
Hi, Brownie.
And in the dark too.
Any minute I expected to be
up to me hips in hippopotamuses.
You got me doing it now.
Could you send a couple of your boys
to the settlement with the news?
Boltchak, go get Muntala.
- Have a drink.
- Thank you, miss.
- How long will repairs take?
- No time at all.
Maybe a day after we
get the replacement.
It'll take us about three
or four weeks to get it.
Four weeks?
- Brownie, take him.
- Come on. Time for your nap.
Leon will bring the boys around for
a chat, they'll shove off in the morning.
Take the bottle with you.
Thank you, Mr. M.
Yeah, Brownie. Brownie!
I'm sorry.
Just a minute.
Mr. and Mrs. Nordley are in that room.
I'll have Boltchak move in with Brownie.
You can take his room.
- He'll be back soon.
- Yeah, the scientific characters.
They look kind of shiny new and young
to be scientific types, don't they?
- Yeah, but take it easy, will you?
- What do you mean?
You know, Mrs. Nordley has led
a sheltered sort of life, I guess...
...and, well, let's not get too informal.
You know what I mean.
I know what you mean.
You have as much gallantry in that remark
as you think I've got brains.
- Now, wait a minute...
- Never mind.
I'll just act like I was your sister,
down from Vassar for the holidays.
That was pretty lame talk.
But you know what I'm talking about.
It's possible that I have a slight inkling
as to your outlook on life.
Joe, get off my bed.
Scram!
Hi, baby. Come on, let me in.
Oh, come on.
Behave. Wait a minute, boy.
Wait.
Come on, now.
Hey, listen, save some for the little girl.
Wait a minute. Here, okay.
No, no. No more.
You're a nice little girl.
Here's one. Hey, wait!
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute!
You're such a pig.
You don't deserve any more. No!
Now, if you're not such a pig,
I'll feed you.
Here, little girl. Here, little girl.
Here, little girl. Here you are.
Here. Come on.
No, no!
Oh, hi.
How do you do?
My name is Mrs. Nordley.
I'm Kelly, Eloise Kelly.
I hear your husband isn't well.
Is he better?
- He's much, much better, thank you.
- That's good.
Mr. Marswell says
he's made a very quick recovery.
Speaking of friend Marswell,
I wonder where he is.
Probably out lassoing
some ferocious gazelle or something.
He took the captain to the boat in a truck.
Something about
bringing back the animals, I believe.
Boy, I wish I'd had a truck last night.
I haven't walked that far
since some palpitating halfback...
...tried to tell me he'd run out of gas.
You've been here on some sort of safari?
I was going on one,
or at least I thought I was.
I came to visit an old pal of mine,
the Maharajah of Bunganore.
- Do you mind?
- No.
But the big, thoughtless cad stood me up.
- He stood you...?
- In Americanese...
...that means that when I got here
he wasn't here.
Men can get you into all sorts of trouble,
can't they?
That was quite a shame.
When Marswell first heard about it,
he was furious...
...but then he calmed down,
and he was kind of sweet about it.
He's kind of cute, I guess.
He's a rough, mean man at times.
I must get your husband
to examine his head, see what's inside.
I hope the saga of my Ionely travels
hasn't shocked you.
I suppose girls are more conservative
up your way, aren't they?
With my husband almost well again,
I had it in mind to take a little walk...
...sort of get one's bearings.
- Nice day for it.
- Well, so be it.
Bless your big, bony knees.
Hi, Kelly.
You're up early.
You know me, the neurotic type,
insomnia.
Why didn't you tell a fella?
She's something.
She's the kind that makes men
want to break out of jail.
You been talking to Mrs. Nordley?
Well, now, look at him.
Knew to whom I was referring
right away.
Yeah, me and my crystal ball.
You and your crystal head.
Wipe that Emily Post look off your face.
I didn't endanger
your lily-white reputation.
- I said she's pretty.
- So she's pretty.
What the blue blazes has that
to do with the price of pork?
- She's nice too.
- Certainly.
- So she's nice. I said it first.
- Who cares who said it first?
- It might make her nicer if I said it first.
- All right. So you said it first.
- I better look in on him.
- Nordley's peacefully pounding his ear.
And not that you're interested,
but Mrs. Nordley has gone for a walk.
Gone for a walk? Where?
How should I know?
How do you like that?
Why didn't you try to stop her?
I had no idea people
couldn't go for a walk around here.
Mrs. Nordley walks off in the bush
like it was Hyde Park.
Take the jeep and go down the
forest trail. I'll take the river road.
Mrs. Nordley!
Linda, don't move.
Well, that's that.
Come on, let's go back to camp.
- I'm...
- Let's go.
I've certainly won myself the reputation
for being an utter fool.
I'm not so much worried
about your reputation as your health.
If anything should happen to you,
my reputation would suffer.
Doesn't a woman's reputation
mean anything to you?
Only if I'm personally interested.
Not very gracious, but understandable.
Donald will think I'm dreaming
when I tell him all this.
- Thank heavens you're a witness.
- Do you need one?
Donald's a husband who's believed
everything I've told him...
...since I was five years old.
Five years old? You were married
rather young, weren't you?
Actually, we were married when I was 20.
How long ago was that?
- Sorry.
- No, it's all right.
I'm 27. Satisfied?
You want me to forget it?
Not necessarily.
Have you ever been married?
I've never had the fortune
to find a lady who was interested.
That could be the remark
of a cynical man.
What have I to be cynical about?
I make my contribution to this
mixed-up world. What else is there?
That could be the remark
of a Ionely man.
Could be.
Looks like we're in for a little storm.
Let's go back to camp. Come on.
- You've been out walking?
- Sure.
Better be careful.
Mrs. Nordley nearly got into trouble.
- Did she?
- Yes.
She's under the delusion
she can wander off...
...without being in any danger.
From the wild animals, you mean.
Certainly. What else?
I don't know what happened
out in the bush...
...but the lady seemed to be in danger
right here on the porch.
You're seeing things, aren't you?
Hi, Brownie.
A party!
The Nordleys. It's their
first night here, so I thought...
Oh, yeah.
Good evening.
Feeling better?
I just have to get my clothes changed.
Be right with you.
Miss Kelly, this is my husband.
How do you do? Excuse me.
Gotta get dressed, you know.
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
- Would you like a drink?
- Yes, thank you.
- Who was the young girl?
- Miss Kelly.
"Honey Bear." American.
Judging by your appetite,
you must be quite well again.
I feel wonderful.
Thanks to you, Dr. Marswell.
And you look it. What's more, you've
brought culture to Marswell's circus.
I love the custom black tie
in the middle of the jungle.
Do you know that before you got here
we wore onion sacks?
Anyone else wish to join me
in a little more of the grape?
Mrs. Nordley?
- It's good for the nerves, they tell me.
- No, thank you.
- Mine host?
- No, thanks.
That's right. I forgot.
These animal-catching characters
don't have many nerves...
...just one great big one.
You seem to have a real fondness
for that wine.
Any year, any model.
They all bring out my better nature.
It was a pretty exciting afternoon.
I can't tell you, Vic...
You don't mind if it's Vic and Donald
from now on, do you?
- Why not?
- And "Honey Bear"
Oh, yes.
I mean the luck in your getting back
in time to go after Linda.
Old girl, you could
have had a very bad mauling.
I hear you can get one anytime
in these parts...
...if you ask for it.
- More coffee, Mrs. Nordley?
- No, thank you.
You must realize even the smallest
of creatures in Africa are voracious.
I was reading only the other day
of an incident of the red driver ant.
It's a very tough insect.
Some poor blighter left his launch
at the riverbank...
...and along came an army of these ants
and ate up everything but the engine.
Good heavens.
We have hundreds of different varieties
of ants in this country.
Oh, yes, I saw quite a few ants
this afternoon.
But I guess they were just
the old-fashioned kind, huh?
All through, I guess.
Why don't we have some music
to soothe the savage breasts?
Do you play?
No, but you can pump
if you feel strong enough.
- I see, it's one of those.
- Yes.
"Coming Through the Rye".
That's a bit of home.
- Are you in good voice, Miss Kelly?
- No, but I feel like singing.
Give forth, then.
I say, that's absolutely delightful.
I'm a reedy tenor,
but I'll join you in this verse.
- Wonderful. Brownie, let's make it a trio.
- Yes.
- A bunch of wailing banshees, huh?
- All right.
I don't wanna interrupt
but I thought you'd want to know.
If you're willing to start, I'd be
glad to take you to gorilla country.
- Really? That's splendid.
- Provided you haven't changed your mind.
Changed our minds?
Hear that, Linda? Isn't it wonderful?
Yes, yes, simply wonderful.
I was thinking of that letter
from Ringling Brothers.
They offered a nice prize
for a pair of young ones.
I haven't been in gorilla country
for several years.
It'll be a good change of that routine
you were telling me about.
And since our two young guests
have it in their minds...
...well, we could kill several birds
with one stone...
...to coin a phrase.
I think it's absolutely wonderful.
You'll pardon my schoolboy enthusiasm,
but you see...
...Vic was so stubborn
about not taking us at first.
Why, he's just an old
quick-change artist...
...but real quick.
Do you know that one minute
he can be Trader Horn himself...
...and then suddenly
everything goes black...
...and out he comes,
dressed as Dr. Livingstone...
...I presume?
Fortunate for us, I'd say.
Nobody will be surprised but the gorillas.
Miss Kelly can come with us
as far as the district officer at Kenya.
Don't worry about me.
I'll be quite all right.
I'll sort of go into a monastic retreat...
...and realize how beautiful life really is.
We close up shop here except
for the boys looking after the animals.
You'll have a six weeks" wait,
or even longer.
We'll take her along as far
as the district officer at Kenya...
...and she can check out with his party.
Yes, I guess that could be arranged.
In that case, you'll be on the plane
for Cairo within a week or ten days.
Fine. The sooner the better...
...to coin a phrase.
I saw your light.
I thought you weren't asleep yet.
When do you plan to start?
We can be ready in about two days.
Full safari, I suppose.
Entire complement of boys.
Naturally.
You know this will delay the Dorgenbeck
and the Chicago Zoo order.
We can fill it quick enough
when we get back.
Vic, lad, that's a nice couple.
This is no good.
What are you talking about?
Nothing. Getting old, I'm afraid.
Good night.
Are they all Muntala's wives?
No, just six. The other three are cooking.
No kidding?
Yep, no kidding. Let's go.
Fascinating, eh, darling?
It's amazing. Look, what is that?
- Some sort of stork?
- Secretary bird.
Secretary birds. What a prosaic name.
- Why do they call them that?
- That's an unfair question.
I haven't the slightest idea.
That secretary on the left has a pair
of legs for the boss to drool over.
She looks like she's been chased
around the desk...
...and is now headed
for the pay window.
Miss Kelly, we shall certainly hate
to lose you.
Now, don't be greedy.
Let the others speak for themselves.
- Just what is our schedule?
- It's down the same stretch...
...for another two days
until we reach the river here.
There the Makuas will give us
canoes and paddle boys...
...where we'll proceed downriver
till we reach Kenya station.
At Kenya station,
we contact Jack Wood.
He's the district officer
of the Samburu territory.
The Samburus!
Those are the chaps
I particularly want to visit.
And that, Mrs. Nordley,
is where I leave you all.
You all.
- No tears?
- We'll give you a going-away party.
- Thank you.
- Where then?
Then we'll proceed on foot
to the Mountains of the Moon.
That's the beginning of gorilla country.
Look, what are those?
Impala.
What simply exquisite creatures.
- You'd think they had wings.
- It's the Aepyceros Melampus Suara.
They can clear a 12-foot obstacle
with a leap as long as 35, 40 feet.
You mustn't take the megaphone
away from the driver.
We'll pass Grant's Tomb
any moment now.
- He'll tell you who's buried there.
- I beg your pardon?
There's a handsome animal for you.
Thompson gazelle.
Lovely.
Who's the Mr. Thompson famous enough
to have a gazelle named after him?
He's a third baseman.
Hit a home run for the Giants once.
Won the pennant.
Miss Kelly, we'll give you
two going-away parties.
Well, I've got one for you.
See those zebras over there?
- Yes. The Equus Burchelli Granti.
- To me, they're zebras.
Are they born white with black stripes
or black with white stripes?
Actually, they're born black with...
I'm going on, aren't I?
Mrs. Nordley, this is quite a nice,
bright husband you have.
Information I'm already well aware of.
But I assure you that outside
of his niceness and his brightness...
...there are many other reasons
why I'm in love with him.
Thank you, old girl.
I'd say he was a very lucky man.
Better turn in early. We'll start at 5:00
in the morning to miss the heat.
Here. Hang on to this.
It's loaded.
All you have to do is pull the trigger.
Who do I point this at?
Leopards and lions have been known
to come into tents.
Thank you, Mr. Marswell.
Actually, in light of recent development...
...there'll be no danger of my
hitting you, will there?
- Look, Kelly, don't. We know each other...
- Never mind, Marswell.
It was just a dumb crack
that doubled right back at me.
Boy, how stupid can a gal get?
Good night, Kelly.
Good night.
- Everything all right? Anything you need?
- Everything's just fine, thank you.
- Good night, then.
- Just a moment, will you, please?
For several days now,
Miss Kelly's been making...
...well, at least, insinuations.
I wouldn't let her upset me.
She'll be leaving us at Kenya station.
What would give her the right
to say things like that?
She saw us when we
walked up on the porch.
You must forget that,
that it ever happened.
It was just...
- Well, it was nothing.
- You want me to forget it?
That's why you changed your mind
about taking us on this trip.
Plus you're not in love
with your husband.
- You mustn't say that!
- Though you said you were.
- I know why you said it.
- I said it because it's true.
I am in love with Donald.
You asked me why I never married.
Maybe you yourself are the reason, Linda.
Linda.
I'll see you in the morning.
Hello, Vic. I just won 15 shillings
in a poker game. Meet my expenses.
- Good.
- Good night.
I'm tired.
Looks like the start
of some exciting weeks, eh, darling?
- Lin?
- What?
Of course, darling.
That Kelly girl is certainly a different type
from any I've met.
Wonderful sense of humor. I like her.
And it's perfectly obvious, of course.
What is?
There was a thing between her and Vic
before we arrived.
And now we are the villains.
In some odd way we've broken it up.
Not that I blame her, of course.
Vic's a devilishly attractive chap.
Don't you think so? As a woman?
I suppose so.
All I know is I'm glad you saw me first.
- Good night, darling.
- Good night, Donald.
Welcome, Victor.
- How are you, Victor?
- Fine, thank you.
- How do you do?
- Hello, Father.
Mr. and Mrs. Nordley
from England.
How do you do, Father?
Your music is wonderful, Father,
although it frightened me at first.
It's hardly Catholic. But it's a song
of welcome, and that's Christian.
We're just in time for lunch.
Brownie, you're not still on a diet?
Never, Father.
- Miss Kelly, Father Josef.
- How do you do?
How do you do?
You're just in time for lunch.
So you good people are going
to the gorilla country?
Precarious animals.
A friend of mine at mission preparatory...
...had his head torn from his body
by one of them beasts.
That was carelessness,
you know that.
We're relying on Victor
to see that we retain our heads.
I can't wait to see them
in their natural habitat.
The truest exemplary link between
modern man and his primitive derivation.
I think you and I could have a lusty debate
on the origin of man.
I'm afraid you'd prove too rugged
an opponent, Father.
I spoke to the chief...
...and you can have the canoes
and the men on the usual conditions.
- Not again.
- I'm afraid so, Victor.
What are the conditions?
Is there any trouble?
In order to get the men and canoes
to go into that strange country...
...the bwana mkubwa, the big chief,
the party of the first part...
...to which our friend Victor
must undergo what's known as...
...the ceremony of courage.
The ceremony of courage?
I don't think I've heard of it.
What is it, some sort of native custom?
It's sort of like a game of darts.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
That's a fine way to run a railroad, buster.
That's all right.
All right, Boltchak, load the boat.
Come on, we've got the canoes. Let's go.
Father, I'd like to speak to you a moment
when you have a chance.
- Certainly, my daughter.
- Thank you, Father.
Darling.
This is the jumping-off place.
Do you want to go on or turn back?
What on earth makes you say that?
You're taking me seriously.
I'd as soon turn back as...
Do you feel all right?
I'm sorry. I'm just a bit edgy.
I didn't sleep too well.
I know. It was an exciting evening.
You take a sedative tonight.
Get in the swing of things, darling.
With the world the way it is,
we may never have this chance again.
Let's live every minute of it.
Good morning.
I know everybody's in a terrible rush
this morning...
...but I thought perhaps
we could have a few words together.
Yes?
I've been the champion of female
Airedales and I'd like to apologize.
What on earth for?
I assure you, there's nothing...
I'm feeling a great deal better
about life today.
So let's level, shall we?
I'm not blaming you by apologizing.
I'd just like to tell you
that I know how it is with you and Vic.
We girls are pretty smart
about those things, aren't we?
Aren't you being presumptuous
in assuming any...
Please, honey,
don't let me sit here with egg on my face.
I came here to be your friend.
The only way I know how
is to tell you that I understand.
It can happen.
He's an attractive burglar...
Really, if you'll excuse me,
I must finish my packing.
All right. I'll get out.
But keep your head, will you?
You're sitting pretty.
You're a lovely, attractive woman.
You're married to a wonderful man.
Is it possible that all of this advice...
...is based on the fact
that you know Mr. Marswell...
...just a little more intimately
than I do?
Gosh, you are stuck, aren't you?
- Once and for all...
- You're jealous.
Shouldn't you examine
your own emotions in that light?
Don't worry about me.
I could be pea green with jealousy...
...and not hacked up any more
than I am already.
It's you we want to worry about.
This is no Sir Galahad
who loves from afar.
- This is a two-legged boa constrictor.
- I think you'd better leave.
All right, but remember,
I came here to be your friend.
For your sake.
And I'm keeping the offer open.
It'll be rugged, but I'll keep it open.
Go in the boat with Brownie.
I'll take Mrs. Nordley in the lead boat.
But wouldn't it be better if...?
- Do you mind, darling?
- Not at all.
That's just in case of emergency.
Are the men of this tribe
also polygamists like Muntala?
Only those who can afford
more than one wife.
It seems unfair to take them away
from their families.
You mean the men are taking a chance?
I'm quite sure that's what I mean.
No. The natives have
all sorts of devices...
...to prevent their women
from being stolen.
In most tribes
there's a pre-marriage ordeal...
...that guarantees fidelity.
Really? What's that, pray?
Let's see if I can...
Linda, look.
Isn't he beautiful?
Perfect specimen.
He's clean too.
Just had his Saturday night bath.
Look!
Reminds me of somebody I know.
You were saying about this device
for guaranteed fidelity...
Why wouldn't it pass
in the civilized world?
Primarily because you women
would probably vote it down.
But why?
Because it's a means whereby a woman
is rendered incapable of being unfaithful.
- I think I understand.
- Sorry to be so blunt about it.
No. It was my denseness.
I should have realized.
Brother, I can take your Cook's tour
around the zoo...
...but when we get on this mental
striptease...
...and hide behind
Louisa May Alcott...
...I want a powder.
Brownie. Watch it. Hippo.
Kenya, heart of the Samburu.
I'm terribly keen on seeing those chaps.
There doesn't appear
to be a committee to welcome us.
Brownie, looks like this is
where I leave you.
I'm glad somebody's glum about it.
It's Vic. Vic Marswell.
Get your party out of here fast.
- What happened?
- Caught them ivory poaching.
When the corporal was taking
down the colors last night...
...they came at us.
- Where are the rest of your men?
- Got two of them out last night.
It'll take several days
before police reserves arrive.
Get your party out quick.
These two... Good boys.
Don't bother about me.
I've had it.
There are gorillas. Three or four
families in the next valley.
- How do you know they'll stay?
- I don't. These people are great trackers.
We'll start out first thing in the morning.
Thanks.
- Good evening.
- Hi, Brownie.
Sit down and join the picnic.
You know me well enough now
to tell me about your scars?
Nothing new, Brownie.
Happens to lots of people.
We'd just been married three weeks
when Johnny had to sail...
...and two months later I get a telegraph
from the War Department...
...telling me that he and his little P-51...
You know, he had "Honey Bear"
painted on the nose.
Anyway, they both blew up
in a million pieces somewhere over Berlin.
You know, as short as it lasted,
it was like being blessed for a lifetime.
So you hit the high spots
and the gay beaches trying to forget him?
Yeah. Great strength of character.
But you'd know it if you met it again.
I say, you'd know it
if you met it again.
Yes, Brownie, I'd know it.
- Look.
- Flamingos.
- Gorillas.
- What?
Gorilla country.
It's nice up here, isn't it? High.
Yes, it is nice, for a change.
I don't like mosquito netting.
It separates people, doesn't it?
Donald, please.
I've got to fix these things.
Perhaps it's altitude,
but I feel very light-headed.
- Don't you feel the least bit light-headed?
- Don't, Donald, please.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, darling. It's nothing.
It's just that I'm terribly tired.
That long climb today. I don't know...
Come now, we've got a very
early start in the morning.
I don't know if I'll quite feel up to it.
Donald, please turn that light off.
It's shining straight in my eyes.
Right now.
Lin, darling.
You still my girl?
Don't be so childish.
That's good enough for me.
Why don't you come along?
You might find gorillas interesting.
Gorillas?
A month ago,
I was buying a bra at Macy's.
Now I'm studying gorillas yet.
No, thank you.
I'll stick around and help Muntala cook.
What did he say?
He says you can't even cook.
Gorilla. Lots of them.
- Is the battery ready?
- Yeah.
I didn't know they could climb trees.
Only the young ones do.
Donald, camera.
Ready to photograph a bull gorilla?
Why, yes. Wonderful.
Brownie, cover us.
Don't move back.
Don't budge an inch.
Hold still.
He's trying to bluff us.
Bring your camera up slowly.
- Brownie.
- What, chief?
- Watch the young bull.
- Got him.
There's the one
we want to pick up tomorrow.
That's the last we'll see of them today.
The boys can keep track of them tonight,
and we'll bring up the nets tomorrow.
This is the film and one of the reels.
Will you take them back
and keep them somewhere cool?
- Precious stuff.
- Of course.
Think you got anything
with that camera?
I hope so,
but I must admit I was pretty scared.
- Frightened to death.
- You were scared?
I'll never forget the first one I saw.
- Linda was all right too.
- You hear that, darling?
They're a strange beast, gorilla.
You can bluff them sometimes,
and then sometimes...
We'll see tomorrow, when we net them.
Is it all right for me to stay up overnight
and get some night sounds?
Of course. It's not going to be
very comfortable for Linda, though.
I don't exactly want to get rid of you,
but you don't mind, do you?
No, of course not, Donald.
You stay up here with Donald.
Do you mind?
- Just as you say.
- Keep whatever boys you want.
- Boltchak?
- No.
I like my comforts in life too.
Darling.
If you're looking for Vic...
...he's taking a walk with Mrs. Nordley.
Do you realize that just from the way
I can't stop myself looking at you...
...that everybody knows?
- Everybody but Donald.
- At times I feel like...
- I know. I feel it myself.
But he has to be told, that's all.
I don't know how to tell him.
You stay in camp tomorrow.
I'm going up the hill.
- Do you understand?
- Yes.
Mind if I join the marshmallow roast?
No. Sit down.
Did you have a nice moonlight
constitutional?
- Very pleasant.
- "Pleasant," the man says.
At least that's gallantry.
It's none of my business...
...but old Donzy boy
is not such a bad shot.
And he'd be well within his rights
if he suddenly decided to take home...
...a little trophy from this paper chase.
As a matter of fact, your head would look
pretty decorative over his mantelpiece.
With your big ears stuck out
like an elephant about to charge.
Get off my back, Kelly.
I'm in no mood for it.
You mean that?
Vic, look at me.
This is no hit-and-run this time, is it?
You're really in love.
You better go to bed.
All right. I guess that's it.
I don't know how you'll solve this
or what good is going to come of it...
...but whatever you do, Vic,
I wish you all the happiness in the book.
Go on to bed, kid.
Black king. What do I want
with an old black king?
Okay. Let him go. He'll find out.
Little boy with a Daisy air rifle.
"And, gee, Dad, it was just my size!"
Brownie. You and Boltchak
check the nets on the other side.
The nets wobble.
That net's falling apart back there.
You know that, don't you?
You sure you still want
to go through with this?
Certainly, Vic.
It might be a little dangerous, you know.
The old ones are sure to charge the net
when they...
Brownie's around and they're trying
to rope a young one for you.
- Donald.
- Yes, Vic?
- I want to talk to you.
- Just a minute, Vic.
- Cigarette?
- Yes, thanks.
We might as well
make ourselves comfortable.
This may take five minutes,
it may take an hour.
Depends on their disposition.
- We can sit here and talk.
- Good. We haven't had much opportunity.
When I admire a fellow
I always like to get to know him better...
...exchange points of view and all that.
I like to have everything aboveboard too.
I'm glad to have
this opportunity of saying...
...that I think that everything's
been handled simply magnificently.
Things haven't gone off
exactly like they might have, but...
Truly, this will be one of the most
memorable experiences of my life.
It's only that...
I'm disappointed for Linda's sake,
that's all.
What about Linda?
Her not coming up today,
not feeling up to it and all.
I realize now that much as I
enjoy this sort of thing...
...field trips, roughing it, so to speak...
...it's not for Linda at all.
- She wanted to come up, but I told her...
- Yes, I know. She's been wonderful...
...making her pretenses in enjoying it.
But that's for my sake, you know.
She's been so moody of late,
almost irritable once or twice.
And believe me, Vic,
that's not like Linda at all.
The night before last she even forgot
it was our wedding anniversary.
That's usually the husband's blunder,
you know.
No, these trips aren't for Linda.
I suppose it's home in Devonshire
from now on...
...raising that family
sooner than I expected.
Forgive me if I tell you
how much I'm in love with her.
Do I have to forgive you for that?
Seriously. It's been great to become
friends with a fellow like you.
We're so different, you see.
I imagine you've had to rub and sweat,
even for every penny you've made...
...and everything you've
wanted to build. Me?
I'm one of those
silver-spoon chaps, I suppose.
I've been spouting
a whole autobiography.
Tell me something about yourself.
To begin with,
if I'm not too beastly inquisitive...
...we have wondered why
an attractive chap like you...
...has never got himself a wife.
I've been too busy collecting animals.
He's coming out now.
Stop talking
and watch what you came for.
- You certainly saved my life...
- You didn't think I planned it?
The last thing I wanted to do
was knock him over.
- No, of course...
- Let's stop the chatter for a while.
- Sorry. The little one got away.
- Never mind.
Tell Boltchak to stay up here.
Tell him I want to examine the gorilla.
Fine gorilla. Very fine specimen.
I'd say he weighed
close up to 700 or 800 pounds.
I say, Boltchak.
Do you have any idea
why Vic stalked off like that...
...going back to camp
with hardly a word?
I'd say he had a very good reason
for hurrying back to camp.
Here. Have some more.
I must have said something to upset him.
If you don't know the reason,
I'd begin to find out if I were you.
What do you mean by that?
If I had a wife as pretty as yours...
...I'd find out fast enough.
We'll go back to the canoes
the first thing in the morning...
...get an early start.
Everything goes.
Where is everybody?
- Still up there.
- Did you get the baby gorillas?
Everything fouled up.
You don't look much like a bridegroom...
...who cometh forth from his chamber
and rejoiceth at...
You don't look so hot.
I don't feel so hot.
You got left on third, huh, Marzy?
Didn't even go to bat.
You couldn't tell him?
No.
- You went noble.
- I went yellow.
You went noble.
How do you plan to break the news
down the street?
I'll think of some way.
That's just the way to keep you
clearheaded, of course.
Sometimes it gets you nasty
enough to get a nasty job done.
Then don't be so stingy
with your nastiness, partner.
Come here. Let's have a drink.
Like I've always said, Kelly,
you're all right.
- Here's to your noble nastiness.
- Skol, Kelly.
Drink up.
To the victor belongs the spoiled herring.
Victor, that's you. Vic. Joke. Laugh.
Yes, sir. You're all right, Kelly.
You've said that before, but I love it.
Don't worry, Vic.
I'm not trying to crawl back
into green pastures.
Poor old Marzy.
Got himself all tangled up
in one of his nets like a gorilla...
...and he doesn't know how to get out.
If you two will excuse me,
I think I shall retire.
No, don't.
There's plenty in the bottle yet...
...and more where that came from,
plenty for all of us.
Come on in, Linda. Join the party.
What are you so surprised about?
You always guessed Kelly and I
were old friends, didn't you?
It's all right for old friends
to have a drink, isn't it?
What are you saying? You're drunk.
Certainly I'm drunk, but I
certainly know what I'm saying.
Listen, Mrs. N,
you're not going to tell me...
...that you've been taking
all this seriously, are you?
You know how it is on safari.
It's in all the books.
The woman always falls
for the white hunter.
And we guys make the most of it.
Do you blame us?
When you come along
with that look in your eye...
...there isn't a guy
in the whole world who could...
- What's been going on?
- I'm glad you came in.
This big Congo Casanova has been after
your wife ever since she's been here.
She's been sport enough
to hold him off...
...and not tell you
to not spoil your fun.
Tonight he got her here on the pretext...
Well, he was pretty drunk.
So when I came tearing over here to help,
he was getting pretty bad...
...so she shot him,
as any decent woman would do.
- We're going, darling.
- Beat it.
Come on there. Get going.
If she hadn't I'd have done it myself.
Are you going to stand there
and bleed to death?
It's just a piece of skin.
Don't you go losing your head.
- You've done well up to now.
- Losing my head! Fine thing.
Stop talking
and put a bandage on this.
Then stop yelling at me.
Too bad you didn't teach her
to shoot a little straighter.
Africa and gorillas. Lions.
The only lions I ever want to see again
are the two in front of the Public Library.
- We're ready to shove off now.
- Darling.
- You can get into the boat now.
- Thank you, Brownie.
Are you sure you're ready to go?
Quite sure.
Now that you're leaving,
how about saying goodbye?
Okay. Goodbye.
I'm going to stay up there for a while...
...try and pick up a couple of baby
gorillas. Make the trip pay for itself.
- How about you sticking around?
- What for?
- I thought that maybe...
- No.
Nobody is gonna wring me out
and hang me up to dry again.
How about it?
As soon as I'm through up there...
...we could head back
and stop by Father Josef's.
Would you like that?
You mean you're gonna make
an honest woman out of me?
- It suits me, Kelly.
- It suits you?
Listen, you and your
quick-change acts...
...aren't hanging blossoms over me...
...because you feel the cold weather
coming on. No, thanks.
I'll go back where I can be honest
without getting kicked around.
I'll see you.
- What?
- Take good care of her!
I can't hear you.
I said, take good care of her!