Monumental (2016) Movie Script
- I had the pleasure
of knowing Dorothy Ann
for 40 years.
She was a classmate, my friend,
a member of our congregation,
and even my nurse a few times.
She was always dedicated to
whatever it was she was doing.
Always found the good in people.
She had more substance
than anyone I ever knew.
She was a proud mother,
and a good one, too.
And she will be
greatly missed by many.
- I told you not to come
around here, did I not?
- Listen, just let me
see him a little bit
before I go, okay?
- You do not get to
see him real quick
when it's convenient
for you, clayne.
Baby, go back inside, please.
Did you get my message
about the child support?
- Yeah, I got your message,
and like I told you,
if I don't have any money,
i can't send you any money.
- I'm so sick of
your excuses, clayne.
Look, all I ask of you is
that you just help us out
around here just a
little bit, but no,
you can't even do that
'cause you're too busy
drinking and smoking and--
- no, that's bullshit,
okay, because I'm sober now
and I quit smoking, so you
have to let me see him.
- Two for 100, good
for you, clayne.
- Okay, hey, buddy, come say
hi to your daddy real quick.
- Please stop making a scene
and just get out of here.
- Hey, buddy, hi,
- go back inside, please.
- He's my son, I have
a right to see him.
- No, you don't, you don't
have any rights around here,
okay, I have full custody
and you can't even pay
your goddamn child support.
- This is bullshit.
I'll see you when i
get back, okay, bud?
- Okay.
- I just don't think it's a
good idea for you to leave
when you're up for a promotion.
Our family needs this.
Why are you ignoring me?
- Look, I'm not, I just
don't want to argue
about it, alright?
- Why can't we leave
together in two months
when the summer comes?
We could go all
together as a family.
- Amy, we've been over this.
- No, we haven't.
You basically made this
decision on your own,
and you expect me
to be okay with it.
Babes, I know what it is
like to lose a mother.
But running from it, it's
not gonna help anything.
- Honey, come on.
- Steve, talk to
me, I am your wife.
What do you feel guilty about?
You've always been
there for her.
- Not enough, I wasn't.
- What's up, you little pirate?
Come here, oh, a
little indoor baseball?
- So what, you're just
gonna make me feel like this?
With clayne of all people?
- You wanna go outside?
- Yeah, come on, let's
go toss it around.
- Amy, he was basically
raised by her, too.
- You can't use
that money, Steve.
- We have plenty coming from her
life insurance money, all right?
She saved this for a
trip she can never take.
This is for her.
- I know you feel lost
right now, and I support you
honoring your mother, I do,
i just wish you would just
settle your emotions
- Amy.
- Before you go, i
don't want anything
to happen to you, okay?
- I'll be fine, alright?
Please, just understand.
What?
Hey.
- Hey, Amy.
- Hey, will you
load these for me?
- Uh, yeah, we have a minute.
- Thanks.
Come on, babe, you
understand, right?
We have to do this.
- You know this hurts
for me, too, right?
- Yeah.
- It won't stop you though.
- Love you.
I'll miss you, buddy.
You're the man of the house now.
- Will you be back
for my birthday party?
- Yeah, I won't miss it
for the world, alright?
- He's gonna be back soon, okay?
- Everything cool, brother?
- I don't know.
- Amy didn't seem
happy to see me.
- She's not happy
right now, period.
- you know, I don't
know, I just--
I'm telling you, man,
it scarred me for life.
The first time I get a pair
of girl's underwear off
and it's got fucking
skid marks on it.
- You would be scarred by that.
- No, it's terrifying.
I believe that girls don't poop.
- Life's just a bunch
of impressions of people
along the way, man.
I remember this time my
grandfather, he'd always show me
his little dice, and he would
say, "Steve, this little
"person lives inside there."
Every time I see a dice, i
think about this little person
that lives inside there,
even though I know
it's not true, you
know what I mean?
Still to this day.
Impressions.
- I think I know what
you're saying, man.
It's like when I was a little
kid and I still believed
in Santa claus, I went
and saw him when we were
at the mall, and I'm
sitting on this dude's lap,
and he's fucking Chinese.
So I'm like, this, I don't
understand what's happening.
This doesn't look
like all the pictures
I've ever seen of Santa claus.
And so in my mind, I'm
like, fuck, I saw the real
Santa claus, all these
other people were wrong.
Is anybody coming?
- You're good, bro.
- And I'm like, man, i
met the real motherfucker.
So for like the next four
years, I was the weirdo
that would dress up as a
ninja and like give people
fortune cookies and Chinese
stars 'cause I thought
that's what the real
Santa would like.
So now every time I see
Santa claus in anything,
I'm like, I just think
of that Asian dude.
- That's funny.
So how's chance, man?
You get a chance to see
him before you left?
- Yeah, he's all
right, doing good.
Lisa just don't let me see him
much, you know what I mean?
Thinks I drink too much around
him and doesn't want him
to grow up to take
after me, I guess.
- That's rough.
Seems like you're doing
a lot better, though.
Aa not helping or what?
- No way, you
know, I wanna drink
the second I leave
that fucking building.
It's ridiculous, man, they
need to take us out somewhere
and let us do
something fun together.
- What?
Like an aa field
trip or something?
- Shit, yeah, you
know what I mean?
Instead of us sitting around
miserable the entire time,
wanna blow our brains
out from fucking boredom,
get us out doing something,
learning in a new
environment, I don't know.
- Man, you just need just
like a full-time job.
I'll try to get you on
my job, you just gotta
get up for the schooling, man.
- I don't know, man.
6am, that's fucking early, dude.
I don't do too well in the
mornings, you know that.
- Not everyone
could be like mom.
She gave me everything.
- Hey, lis, it's me.
Um, just wanna call and
say sorry for earlier.
Trying to get my shit
straightened out,
but you gotta let me see chance.
It's been like a month,
and before that it was like
two months, and I gotta
be able to see my boy, so
I guess just give me a
call when you get a sec,
and let's talk it out.
Maybe we can sit down
when I get back, okay?
Alright, thanks.
- Here's
your change, sir.
- Thank you.
- And have a good day.
- You, too.
You want me to drive?
You tired?
- Yeah.
- Alright.
You want me to stop in a few
hours, get a room,?
- Alright.
- What are you doing still up?
I love you.
- I love you too.
- He is out like a light.
- I'm sure pops put him to
sleep with his old war stories.
- Yeah well i
think he likes 'em.
He just wishes pops could
throw the ball around with him.
- I know, it's a shame.
You know that's not
possible anymore.
What your son needs
is his own father.
- Yeah well, his
father needs a father.
- Oh come on, Lisa.
There must be something to him.
I mean, he had enough charm
to get you, didn't he?
- Biggest mistake of my life.
- Please don't say that, Lisa.
If it wasn't for that mistake,
we wouldn't have chance.
- Mom, I'm not
talking about chance,
I'm obviously
talking about clayne.
You don't even like him.
You say what a deadbeat
he is all the time.
- That's not what I say.
I say I don't like
the way the two of you
treat each other.
Your son adores his father
and he needs him around.
You and clayne need
to work things out.
- So now I'm responsible
for clayne being a deadbeat?
- Okay.
You know what, honey?
I'm gonna go tuck
your father in.
I love you hon, goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- Here we go, mom.
Ready?
There he is, huh?
- Stand there,
I'll get you by it.
Gutzon borglum.
- Despite the rumors,
he was a decent guy.
Wow.
Holy shit.
Mama Dee would have loved this.
- I finally understand
her obsession about it.
Love you, mom.
- Stevie, this was one of
your father's favorite sights.
He'd always tell me what
an amazing accomplishment
it was for mankind to sculpt
the faces on a mountain
in such great detail.
Did you know that these
faces are scaled to a man
who would stand 465 feet tall?
And each head is
six stories high.
Why, that's as
tall as the sphinx.
And the great sculptor
gutzon borglum.
That's gutzon borglum, well,
he started drilling in 1926
when he was 60 years old.
Can you imagine that?
60!
Took him 14 years
to complete it.
You know, goodness, it
just goes to show you
it's never too late to
do something amazing
with your life.
I just hope I get to see
it in person some day.
- I wonder what the four fathers
think of the country now.
- Hope you like roadkill
'cause that looks like
what we got in here.
- This is the only
place around here.
It's nothing but freaking trees.
- How you guys doing?
You guys need a menu?
There you go.
Couple drinks started for you?
- I'll have a water.
- Let me get started with
chicken wings and a soda water.
- You got it, how 'bout you?
- I'm not sure yet.
- What are you gonna get?
- I'm not sure.
- Thought you were starving,
you're being pretty
fucking indecisive.
- He's insecure.
- What's that?
- Fuck insecurity.
Always happened
to have security.
- Don't worry about
him, he does this
from time to time.
I just humor him,
let him do his thing.
But I'll get on this.
Fuck owing someone because
they do something for you.
- Fuck care providers
that don't provide
nothing but carelessness.
- Alright, how 'bout this?
Fuck fake ass motherfuckers.
Fuck something, get in
on this, man, come on.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- Fuck it, fuck people who
judge you on how you dress.
- Wah wah wah.
That was a good try.
How about fuck
power trip people.
- They oughta take a trip of
their own, never come back.
- God damn right.
Fuck gas prices,
we're all on strike.
- Fuck terrorists.
- Alright.
- Fuck the war on peace.
Ain't nothing peaceful about it.
- Damn right.
World doesn't revolve
around you, sick fucks!
- You know what?
Fuck taxes, just fuck 'em.
- We're
on strike again.
- Yeah.
- Fuck crooked cops!
- Fucking pigs.
- Serve and protect my ass!
- Whoa.
- American dream is dead.
What we need is a revolution.
Revolution brings evolution,
without revolution
humans do not evolve, people
need chaotic shit to happen.
Make 'em see the
world differently.
Give 'em a different
perspective.
Otherwise they just
sit there stagnant.
'60s and '70s had revolution.
War.
Drugs.
Protesters.
Those people evolved,
those people revolted.
Us?
We're too lazy to
open our mouth.
Too absorbed with our
high tech devices.
It's embarrassing
how oblivious we are
to the bullshit
that's all around us.
We're all blessed.
It's what you do with your
blessings that counts.
- Welcome to the bar, gentleman.
That's Earl.
- I like him, can we keep him?
- You would keep him.
- Hey buddy, oh.
- Dude, get out,
come, Jesus, get out.
- Christ, what died inside you?
Fuck me, did you eat a goat?
- Fucking chicken wings, man.
- I ate 'em and that shit
ain't happening to me.
- I don't know.
- Yous got a weak little
baby stomach, don't ya?
- Just shut the
fuck up and get out of here.
- You want some pedialyte?
- Shut the door.
- You want me
to get you anything?
- No, and no drinks.
If you're sneaking off
to go get a fucking drink
without me, don't do it.
- Aye aye, captain.
But seriously, call a
doctor, you need to get that
checked out.
- Just fucking go.
- Call me.
The fuck?
- Dear
asshole, I just saved your ass
after you smashed my bumper.
Not sure why I'm helping you,
maybe because I've been
where you're at before
and I've kept my own.
This is your one get
out of jail free card.
Hope I don't regret this.
Take care of yourself,
if not for you,
then for your kids.
Sincerely, one troubled
soul to another.
- So still out here.
- Yeah, 'cause all seven
people that live out here
are too bored to move.
- I think it's nice.
- Nice and terrible.
I guarantee you nothing
interesting has happened here
since they outlawed
cousin fucking in 1912.
- Oh man, you're crazy.
- Why would you
choose to live here?
- Greg doesn't
have a say so, man.
Until he sells a screenplay,
Stacy's calling all the shots.
Plus it's like nice people
place to sleep tonight.
- What kind of idiot tries to
make a living writing movies?
What do you mean,
sleep here tonight?
I gotta fucking stay
out here overnight?
- Dude, what is your
problem with Greg?
Was that a gunshot?
What do you got a gun for?
Whoa whoa whoa!
Oh my god, he's tripping out.
Greg, Greg!
Put the gun down!
- Go go go, drive,
drive, fast, drive fast,
fucker's gonna get me, just
fucking drive, just go!
- Who's after you?
- Oh shit!
- Who's after you?
- Faster man, faster!
They not fucking
playing around, faster!
Oh fucking shit!
- I don't even see a
scarecrow, Jesus Christ.
Greg.
- They gonna take
me alive, drive.
- Give me that
fucking rifle, man.
- Cock pissing motherfuckers!
Go get you, go get
you motherfuckers!
You want it?
Come get some,
come and get some!
- There's
nothing out there.
- He's
got a gun, clayne.
Greg, no no no no!
Greg, gimme the gun!
There's nothing in there!
- Ooh, they're fucking
sneaky little fuckers.
- Give me
the gun, Greg, man,
who is it, who?
Greg, where's Stacy?
Greg!
Greg, where's Stacy?
- Who?
- Your wife, Stacy your wife.
- Oh shit, Stacy.
- Yeah, where she at?
- Oh god, what would the
dragons want with Stacy?
Oh fuck, the dragons got Stacy!
Stacy!
Oh fuck Stacy, I'm sorry Stacy!
- Are you
fucking kidding me?
- Greg.
- You sure you killed them?
- Yeah bud, we got them all.
- All the who?
- Yeah Greg, we slew the
dragons, all of them.
Dragons are dead as shit.
- Oh friend, I knew
you weren't a demon.
I'm so happy right now.
You see that?
All the colors have come back.
Oh, this is gonna be
an amazing evening.
- Might wanna keep this on you.
How long does this
stuff take to wear off?
- How the
fuck should I know?
'Cause I done a couple
drugs in my day?
I've obviously never done
what fucking chiquita banana
is on over there.
- Oh, it's gonna be
an amazing evening.
You miss me too?
When is she coming back?
I miss her, Steve.
Oh my god, why?
- I can't, I can't.
- Look, Greg.
- I miss her, Steve,
i miss her so much.
- I'll be right back.
- Steve.
- It's okay, it's okay.
- Don't leave me.
- It's okay, it's okay.
- Oh my god, that's
fucking right.
New York pizza's the best, man.
I would cut off your left arm
to be able to eat
this every night.
- Yeah, thanks buddy.
It's really good but we
were starving so it's like
being stoned, everything's
better when you're stoned.
- Don't try to get
scientific with me.
Hey hey hey like being stoned.
Oh my god, I'm in
love, give me another.
- Dude, you're a pig,
it's your fourth one.
We're on a tight budget, man.
- Like I said.
I'll sing the entire fucking
song in this restaurant
unless you get me more pizza.
- Go ahead, make
an ass of yourself.
- You know that's
what I'm best at.
- I'm used to it.
- Really?
You ready for this?
- Sorry.
I'm warning you.
- Ladies and gentlemen.
- I'm serious.
- No, well, you fucked
yourself on this one.
- Just another day.
thank you New York City!
- Woo, sing it!
- Thank you, thank
you very much.
- You're a madman.
- Yeah, I am, luckily,
somebody here likes crazy.
Wah wah.
- Oh, here we go.
- Yeah, it's on.
- Clayne.
- Nope, too late.
Ladies, ladies, ladies.
How are we this evening?
- Hello there.
- Hello, how was
the show, did you enjoy it?
- Never seen one
like that before.
- Well, that's what
i was looking for,
you know what I mean, and
i know this is awkward
but tickets are $10, you
can either pay me directly,
can buy me and my handsome
gentleman friend over there
some drinks down the
street, or you can just
stuff it right
down my waistband.
- Dinner and a strip show.
- I aim to please, ladies.
You know what I mean?
So, you guys decide
your method of payment
and we can retire
to a bar or my rv.
Oh god, I sound like a fucking
serial killer, don't I?
- A little bit.
- Little too strong?
- Little bit, yeah.
- I didn't mean rv, I meant
ritz Carlton on wheels,
which is more appropriate.
- Oh wow, I never heard of
that before in New York.
- Yeah well I mean
it's this new thing,
I think Donald trump started
it, it's really high class.
- Where you from?
- Washington state.
- Oh nice.
- You know what I mean?
Whoa!
Baby hawk doesn't
like being touched,
you gotta warm up
to baby hawk, okay?
- You look crazy, you know?
- Whoa.
- A little crazy,
I'm a lot crazy.
- I can't touch it?
- Oh, you can touch
it all you want.
- Oh there you go.
- There you go,
you just gotta ask.
- Feels good, feels good.
- It does feel good.
Lots of people should touch it.
So, I guess that's all
we need to say, isn't it?
Meet you girls out front
about five minutes?
- How cocky.
- Sounds good.
Baby hawk doesn't
know any better,
he just does what he does.
- Baby hawk, hmm.
- I don't know, sometimes
it's too easy, buddy.
Got a gift.
- What, what's happening?
- Well I'm pretty sure
we're gonna hang out
with those girls, have a few
drinks, maybe do a little
dancing, I don't know.
- Seriously man?
It's late.
- Alright dude, what's
the fucking problem?
- First of all you're
supposed to stay sober.
Second of all I'm married,
i know it's not a big deal
to you but technically,
so are you man.
- Technically we're separated
and I live in my fucking rv.
And is that really how
you wanna come at me?
Okay, Lisa doesn't
want to be with me,
what the fuck am I supposed
to do, sit at home and cry?
Why wouldn't I hang out
with these beautiful women?
- Exactly why she doesn't
want to be with you, man.
Look, I didn't mean
it that way, alright?
I'm just looking out for
you, you need to chill out.
Just call it a night, man.
It's been a long ride already.
- Look, I know where you're
coming from and I appreciate it.
But I'm a grown ass man and
i don't need you lecturing me
and I don't need someone
looking out for me.
- I got it.
- Yeah, so if I wanna go
have some drinks with some
beautiful women and
enjoy New York City,
I'm gonna do that.
Okay?
But I'm not doing it alone, i
need you there with me, man,
that's the reason for this trip.
Fucking let loose for one
night, man, do some harmless
flirting, have one drink.
Nothing shady, man, this
is all innocent stuff.
Just come out with
me for one beer.
Please.
There he is.
- One beer.
Seriously, one beer.
- One beer.
- hey, I bought all
my shirts at baby gap.
She doesn't believe I got
a live beaver in there.
- Oh, live beaver.
- We got a unfinished game
of pokemon we gotta settle up
so if y'all could give
us a little space.
- Dude, it's cold out man.
- Okay, well good luck
getting into the room.
- Yeah, we got a room.
It's right over here.
- Sit your ass down
there, I wanna see those,
get that shirt off.
- You take that shirt off.
- I'm not scared, come on!
- Come on,
you first, do it!
- Go, alright, get it off!
Oh, you're about to get it.
- Oh yeah.
- Yeah?
- Come on daddy.
- So.
- So.
That's funny.
Sorry about clayne, you
know, he can be a handful.
- Oh, no, so can Jess.
But it doesn't mean that
we can't have a little bit
more fun.
- What do you mean?
- I was thinking maybe
we could be a little more
adventurous.
- Like what?
What do you have in mind?
You look happy.
What is that, weed?
Wow, already packed.
Guess that's how you
do it in New York, huh?
- Come on.
You don't break
the rules, at all?
Just this once?
Come on, you are on a road trip.
- Yeah.
- Take the edge off.
- For old time's sake.
- Cheers.
- Oh fuck!
That's good.
That's good.
That's fucking good.
Oh god yeah you could win
some fucking awards for that.
- You should come
and sit over here.
I like to smoke and cuddle.
- I don't know, I'm
already breaking one rule,
I don't wanna.
- Come on, come sit over here.
- That ain't happening.
- Okay, I'm gonna
come over there then.
- Okay, wow.
That's one way to do it.
Uh oh.
Getting cozy?
- Mm hmm.
Why don't you take
this, is this flannel?
Why don't you take
this flannel off?
- What, you don't
like the flannel?
- It's very nirvana.
- Good.
- Why are you so nervous?
- I don't know.
- Don't be.
You know, we're two
adults, conversing.
- Yeah.
- And relaxing.
- Stoned in a bed
in a hotel room.
- Steve.
You're a nice guy.
Your mother is looking
down at you smiling.
- I hope not at this moment.
- What about your dad?
You don't like to talk
about him much, do you?
- Not really.
Didn't really know him.
Truck driver.
He was gone 12 weeks
at a time, just gone.
She used to work at the
hospital and come home
and have to take care of me
and clayne after a while.
I don't know.
She got sick.
That was it.
- That's really sweet
what you're doing for her.
- It's the first thing i
ever did good for my mom.
Look, look.
Look, you're a beautiful girl.
Seriously, you're
gorgeous, alright?
Any man would be
lucky to have you.
I just, I can't be that guy.
- Nah, it's okay.
Just got caught
up in the moment.
- Yeah, me too.
It was nice.
- This isn't gonna
happen, is it?
- Not without me
feeling any more guilty
than I already do.
Alright, I'm gonna
check on them.
Here, it's getting late.
- Thank you.
- Take it easy.
- Yeah, was very therapeutic.
- You have a safe journey.
- We will, I'll try.
- Good talk.
- Come on.
- Let's go.
- Anything you wanna tell me?
- What do you mean?
- Oh, what do you mean?
- Dude, nothing happened.
- Okay.
What about that giant
bulge in your pants.
- Shut up, fucker.
- Yeah, it's not very big.
No, no, you don't
know where I've been!
- Dude said it's
not gonna happen.
Island's closed
for another week.
- You gotta be kidding me.
- Why don't we just do it here?
I mean, we're pretty close,
the water's nice and calm.
It's a good spot.
- I wanted to take her
inside the statue, man.
Not right here, not
across the river.
- This is great.
Come on man, this
is really nice.
- This statue took the
whole world to build.
The sculptor fredrick
auguste bartoli designed it
along with the same man who
designed the Eiffel Tower,
Alexandre Gustav eiffel.
It was a joint effort between
the French and the American
people, the French were
gonna build the statue
while the Americans were
gonna build the pedestal.
Now at that time, money was
very rough for both countries,
so the French collected
public fees for the work,
and the Americans, well,
we held theatrical events,
art shows, auctions,
even prize fighting,
to make enough money to have
the statue made and delivered.
And when people weren't
helping, well, Joseph pulitzer
of the pulitzer prize fame,
well, he used his newspaper
to call out the greedy
to raise more money.
Your father, he always
used to say that the
statue of Liberty was a
true symbol of the world
coming together.
- What's up?
- I just remember a time
when she was talking
so passionately about the
statue and I just blew her off.
- Well, we're here
now, honoring her.
- A little late to
show our appreciation.
- Why are you so hard on
yourself about this, okay?
You were just a little kid,
what the fuck did you know?
- Is that supposed to make
me feel better about it?
- Alright, think
about it this way.
When you think about curt,
what do you think of?
You think about all the
times he's fucked up,
or gotten in trouble,
or talked back to you?
No man, you think about how
fucking happy it makes you
to see his face every
morning and every night.
That's what sticks with you.
I guarantee you it was
the same way for Dorothy.
- Says the so-called
deadbeat dad.
- Alright you wanna play
around, keep the gloves up,
keep 'em high, keep 'em
high, keep 'em high.
- Just playing, alright?
Seriously, sorry.
- Alright.
- Alright.
This will have to do.
Good enough?
- This is good.
This is nice.
- Here you go, mom.
Alright, let's go.
- Your
call has been forwarded
to an automatic voice
message system.
- Really?
All the way across the
country and you can't pick up
and let me talk to my
own son, not even once?
I don't care if you got some
fucking dude over there,
just pick up the goddamn phone.
Bitch.
- First of all, I'm at work,
but I guess you didn't think
about now that did you, dipshit?
And second of all, I'm a bitch?
I'm a bitch for falling in
love with a childish asshole
who acts the exact same
way he did when he was
18 years old.
You know what clayne?
You can't even hold
down a fucking job.
You fuck everything
that walks, okay?
And you're drunk more
than half the time.
So don't you dare call me
or try and see your son
until you can prove
to be a real father.
You know I'm not even
going to acknowledge
that stupid fucking comment
about another dude being
over here.
Grow the fuck up.
Asshole.
- Grab me something, I'll
be out front, alright?
- Nice mohawk, bitch.
- Why don't you suck
my dick, motherfucker?
- Ooh.
- Oh yeah you like
that, don't you?
- Tough guy, huh?
- Come find out.
- With your big
tough guy haircut.
What you compensating for
with that haircut, man?
- It's gotta counterweight
my big dick, bitch.
- All you say is dicks, man.
- Man, put your bitch on a
leash before she gets hurt.
- Man, don't even
worry about him,
this is between me and
you, don't worry about him.
- I'm not worried.
- You look worried.
Gonna come down off that porch?
- Is that all for you?
- Yeah.
- Tough guy haircut,
torn jeans, muscle shirt.
Ain't gonna save you
from a ass beating.
- Oh yeah?
- Bitch!
- Oh, shit.
- Hey, what's going on?
- Glad you showed up.
We were just talking about you.
- Really, 'cause I was
born during the day
but it wasn't yesterday
so why don't you tell me
what's really going on?
- Just--
- y'all got beef?
- Nope.
- No.
- I don't even know this dude.
- Alright, okay, all
y'all's ids please.
Ids.
ID, yeah, great.
Let me get your ID.
- Thank you, appreciate it.
ID?
Give me your ID sir.
- If you wanted my phone
number you could just ask.
- Oh man, I'm busted,
how did you know?
- I can tell.
- You're just my type.
Hey, out of state?
- Yep.
- What are y'all
doing around here?
- Long story.
- Well why don't
you entertain me?
- Well actually his mom
died and we're spreading
her ashes.
- Okay, alright, do me a favor?
- Bitch.
- Stop talking.
Y'all step away from
each other please.
Alright, for your safety
and mine I need all of you
to remain where you are.
I'll be right back
with you, okay?
- You believe this
fucking guy, dude?
- Clayne.
- What?
- What the fuck?
- Alright, tell me why
you're really here again?
- Exactly what he said.
- Exactly what he said?
What was that you said?
- Spreading his mother's ashes.
- Alright, do me a favor, put
your hands behind your back.
What's the deal with
failure to appear
on a suspended license?
- Slipped my mind.
- Slipped your mind?
So you knew you had
a warrant on file?
- Somewhat.
- Come on, do me a favor,
step away from the car, sir.
- Sweet tits, let's just
get in the back of the car.
- Excuse me?
You wanna play like that,
we can play like that.
- Clayne, please
don't make it worse.
- That's cool.
Yeah, come on, stand
up, hold up, hold up.
Nothing sharp?
Alright, come on.
- Excuse me, officer,
is this really necessary?
- Yes sir, do me a favor,
don't be walking up on me,
step back, appreciate
it, thank you.
Go ahead, get in the car.
Watch your head.
Scoot back.
Alright.
- Can you tell me why
he's being arrested?
- Yep.
He's got warrants.
- For what?
- Failure to appear for
a suspended license.
- You have to
arrest him for that?
We're on a road trip.
- Yeah fuck you motherfucker!
- Hey, be quiet please.
I don't have a choice.
The problem is it's Friday
night and that means
there's no magistrate which
means he's gonna have to
go in front of a judge
on Monday morning.
Alright, good luck to you.
Thank you, appreciate it.
- Please, I can't.
This is unbelievable.
- Hello?
- Hi babe.
- Hi.
Where you guys at now?
- We're somewhere in
Philly, clayne's in jail.
- What?
Why?
- Amy, please,
please, I don't know,
he had some warrants out
or something and driving
with a suspended license,
who the fuck knows with him?
- I knew, I knew this
trip was a bad idea,
especially with clayne.
- Amy, please don't
lecture me right now.
I am just calling to
say hi, wanted to have
a peaceful conversation,
just keep you updated.
- Well thanks
for the daily update
of how much of a fuck up
your best friend is, Steve.
Real newsflash there!
- Amy, please, alright?
God, I'm tired, can I just have
a little support right now?
Please?
- Yeah, it would be
nice, wouldn't it?
How do you think I feel, Steve?
I loved your mom too.
But you left me dealing
with this all on my own.
Curt's just a child,
Steve, he doesn't even
understand that his
grandmother just passed away.
You need to be home
with your family.
- You're acting like i
abandoned my family, Amy.
I didn't.
Look, I'm honoring my mother
the only way I know how.
You don't get it.
I didn't show her appreciation
at all her whole life.
I can't see her again,
Amy, you understand that?
I can't ever talk to her again.
- I'm so sorry baby.
I just want you
here home with us.
Can you just please skip
the rest of the monuments
and come home?
- I love you and curt so
much, I miss you guys.
I just have to do this,
please understand that.
I can't explain it, it's
just something I have to do.
I'll call you soon, alright?
I love you.
- I love you too.
- Hey yo, what are
you in here for?
Hey dipshit, you deaf?
Said what are you in here for?
- Being an idiot.
- Well,
con-fucking-gratulations.
Aren't you a peach?
- What did you say?
- What are you a fucking retard?
You one of these
slow di di dits?
You know, you remind me a
lot of my little boy, man.
He's a little bitch.
Soft, just like his mama.
See that's the problem
with kids nowadays.
They're soft, they
got no backbones.
You slap them up a little
bit to show them what's what
and what they do?
They run and call
the cops on you.
What?
You think my old man didn't
smack me up from time to time?
Shit.
That old bastard used
to have this belt,
he used to wrap it around
his hand real, real tight
and then that motherfucker
used to go to town on me.
Used to wake up the next
morning with welts this big
on my back.
But did I cry?
Did I run to school
and tell my teachers
my daddy hit me, my daddy
hit me, like a little
fucking bitch?
Fuck no.
You know why?
'Cause that's the shit
that makes you a man.
But not my boy, no he
can't comprehend that shit.
So fuck it, you know what?
He's got a problem with
me laying my hands on him
and trying to make him man up?
Fuck it.
That little bastard
can raise himself,
you know what I'm saying?
- I'm really sorry, man.
But thank you.
Where'd you get the
money to bail me out?
- Don't worry about it.
- Steve, I know you don't
have that kind of money
just laying around.
Did they give you the life
insurance money already?
Dude, just tell me where
you got the money--
- I got it from curt's
savings, alright?
Child had to bail you out.
I can't believe you, man.
Take a fucking road trip
on a suspended license?
Warrants out your fucking
arrest you don't even tell me?
- I told you, you wouldn't
have let me come, would you?
And I wanna honor mom as well.
- She wasn't your mother.
- Don't fucking say that.
Alright, we have our
differences, I might be a fuckup
and you can be mad at me,
but don't fucking go there.
- Everything you fucking
do affects somebody else,
you know that you
fucking selfish prick?
- Oh, maybe I should be
more responsible like you,
huh?
- Are you being
sarcastic right now?
Huh?
Fucking hope not, man.
You're lucky I'm
fucking here right now.
Always bailing you out of
fucking jail and anything else.
I'm sitting here wondering
when the next fucking time
I have to bail you out is.
Lisa's doing the right thing
keeping chance from you.
- Fuck you!
Need to ask you a favor.
- What?
- Can we stop in St. Louis?
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- That's like 300 miles in
the wrong direction, man.
I lost three fucking days
'cause of your shenanigans.
- Look, I know we've had
our differences this trip.
But this is really
important to me, okay?
Please, I need to
stop in St. Louis.
I have to see my dad.
- Are you sure
he's even ticking?
- Yeah, he's there.
- I'll wait here for you, man.
- Why don't you come in with me?
- You really want me to?
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
- Whatever you two are
selling, I ain't buying.
- You really don't
recognize me, do you?
- Should I?
- Guess not.
It's been 27 years.
- Holy shit.
Clayne?
- I'm surprised you
even remember my name.
- Jesus Christ boy!
Who's your friend here?
- That's my buddy Steve.
- I remember you.
Yeah.
These two little bastards
ran all over the neighborhood
causing all kinds of hell.
Yeah.
So how's your mother
doing these days?
- She's great.
She's been dead for 20 years.
- Jeez, I'm sorry to hear that.
- Yeah, so was I.
- Hey look, I'm gonna give
you guys some privacy.
Nice to see you again, sir.
- Well hell.
Say, you boys, you
wanna grab some beers?
I got a nice little spot
around the corner over here,
we can--
- I'm not here to drink
beers with you, bishop.
- No?
What do you want from me?
- What do I want from you?
Okay for starters
how 'bout you tell me
why I haven't heard
from you in 27 years?
- You gotta understand
something, son.
Me and your mother, we
didn't get along so well.
I didn't want to make
things worse for you.
I figured calling and writing
would just make things
harder for you, that's all.
- Harder for me?
You're my dad.
All I wanted from
you was a kind word.
I miss you.
I love you.
A fucking happy birthday, champ.
Anything!
What kind of piece of shit
just disappears like that?
- So you drove all
the way out here
to show me that you're
a better man than me?
Is that it?
Does it make you feel happy?
See your old man's nothing
but a worthless drunk?
Yeah.
Is this gonna make
you feel better, boy?
- Not a day has gone by
since you left that I haven't
thought about you.
Where you were,
what you were doing.
I didn't understand how
someone could not want
their own son.
I used to wish
that you were dead.
'Cause at least then
there was a reason
that you weren't calling me.
Then I found out you were alive.
So I had to come
up with new reasons
that you wouldn't call.
I used to think about it,
I'd sit there and imagine
you'd met this new woman.
You got married and you
had a family, new kids.
And there's this beautiful
house on a sunny day,
and it's your new
son's birthday.
And it made you think of me.
So you'd sneak inside
and you'd try to call me.
And right before I could
pick up your new wife
would come in and she'd
stop you and you'd have to
hang up.
Fuck, every time someone
called and hung up
I thought maybe it was you.
It never was, was it?
- I wanted to call you, son.
- You wanted to call me?
Well what a fucking relief.
You know what I do when
i want to talk to my son?
I pick up the goddamn
phone or I go see him.
- You have a son?
- Yeah, I do.
And he's the most important
thing in the world to me.
- What's his name?
- You don't get to know that.
You know why?
Because you'll never
fucking see him,
and you will never
fucking talk to him.
But what you need to know
is that I will be there
every single day for
him until they put me in
the ground 'cause that's what
a real fucking father does.
- Well congratu-fucking-lations.
Huh?
Ain't you a peach?
What do you want
me to do boy, huh?
Throw you a goddamn parade?
- I want you to sit
there and finish drinking
yourself to death.
- Clayne!
- I was just a
little fucking kid!
Why the fuck would
he not want me?
What the fuck did I do?
Why the fuck didn't he want me?
Why the fuck did he not want me?
Why, I didn't
fucking do anything?
Just a fucking kid!
Fucking little.
- I'm sorry.
I'm here for you, alright?
Come here.
Love you, man.
You're a better man than
that, you know that?
Alright?
Love you, man.
- clayne.
- Are you sure?
- Absolutely, man.
That shit I said about
her not being your mother,
that's bullshit.
She raised you like
you were her own.
We're brothers, man.
- What the fuck was that?
- Oh shit.
Oh, fuck.
Think I blew a tire.
- Fuck.
This is unbelievable,
GPS is coming in and out,
I can't get no
reception right now.
- Dude, nothing
would work out here.
I think this is a bad idea.
- Well what else do
you want from me?
I don't, you know, seriously?
- If we stayed on the
highway we might see somebody
coming by.
This way, there's nobody that
way and I remember it was
like 100 miles to.
- Seriously, like five miles
or so there was a little
gas station rest stop.
I don't wanna sit
there and wait.
- I don't feel like getting
murdered and raped today, man.
- Nobody wants to get home more
than me right now, alright?
Please.
This is the fastest
way, I promise.
Come on, GPS, it keeps
coming in and out, man.
Said like five miles
or something last time
and we've walked at least
a half mile from there.
Check your phone.
- Are you joking?
Okay, yeah.
Spock?
Okay yeah, you got us?
Okay, yeah.
- That's a good one.
I've no time to joke,
i need to get home.
- Change mine to a bean burrito.
Tell sulu to quit
humping my plant.
- That's really gonna help
us, that's really good.
Here comes a Van.
- What?
- Van.
Hey!
- Man, that's
not a good idea.
- Not a good, man, seriously,
you wanna stand out
here and you're sitting
here whining about this,
let's go, wave him on.
Yo!
Come on, what are you afraid of?
Thanks for stopping, guys.
- Looks like you two
are in big trouble.
- Uh yeah actually our rv
broke down a couple miles back
on the highway.
- How?
- Oh, good evening sir.
- No, how did it happen?
- Oh, I thought you
guys didn't, you know.
- We just, we blew a tire.
Back on the highway.
- Very unlucky for
you, white man.
- Yes, your people have
raped and murdered our people
for far too long.
Now we are going to
return the favor.
- What?
- Oh, okay, take it
easy man, we don't even
have any money.
- Money, money cannot buy
back what the white man
has stolen from us.
The only payment we
want now is blood.
- Whoa whoa whoa.
- What the fuck is that man?
Come on.
- Come on, guys.
- Holy shit, the only
payment we want is blood?
Oh man that's so fucking good!
- Are they serious?
- Awesome.
- We're just kidding,
we're just kidding.
- My heart is like
pumping right now.
- So can you guys help us, or?
- I'm just messing
with you, I'm Jack.
- Steve.
- This is bill.
- Little nervous with
that but nice to meet you,
that's good, that's good.
- Get in the shaggin' wagon,
we'll take you to town,
alright?
- Woo.
- Guys, it's cool, we're
not gonna rape you.
- Awesome.
Comforting.
- They seem pretty good,
they seem pretty harmless.
- Yeah, it's your
idea, get in the Van.
- Well come on if you're
gonna come with us,
I gotta catch the new south
park anyways so let's go.
- Got it?
- Gotta fix that door.
- Yeah, well it's on our
to-do list, we'll get to it.
- Thanks boys, appreciate it.
- Hey, make sure to Facebook me.
- Absolutely.
- Thanks again, both
of you guys, seriously.
- Yeah, no problem.
- Us white folk owe you one.
- Think you owe
us more than one.
- Hey ho!
- Shit.
- Nah but in all
seriousness it's nice to see
that not everyone's forgotten
about honoring those
that came before us.
Dorothy'd be proud.
Take care of yourselves,
have a blessed journey.
- Dude, why didn't
you wake me up?
- You were sleeping like a baby.
I gotta check on the rv anyway.
- What'd they say?
- It's not good.
Expensive ass tow, tire
repair, we're not gonna
have enough to get home, man.
I dunno, sucks.
- Fuck!
- Yeah, we are fucked.
- Fuck, I'm sorry.
I know this is on me, I know
i cost you a lot this trip.
- It's fine.
- No, I swear to god I'm
gonna pay you back, and curt.
- I'm not worried
about that right now.
I just wanna find a way to
get fucking home right now.
- We'll get you home.
And I know you're not
worried about this,
but I need you to hear me.
All the shit we gone
through on this trip,
all I've been able to
think about is my boy,
and he deserves better
than I had and he's gonna
fucking get it.
All this other shit, it's done.
It's him and Lisa,
that's it for me.
I'm gonna go home, I'm
gonna finish that training,
I'm gonna get one of those
jobs you keep hounding me
about, okay?
I swear to god, man.
- Alright, that's good.
Let's just reroute ourselves
and find a fucking way home.
The motel guy told me that
hoover dam's 40 miles from here.
We head there, head to la,
shoot straight up the coast,
I don't know what
we're gonna do.
- Well when's curt's birthday?
- Tomorrow.
Fuck.
That's why I'm so
fucking stressed out.
- La's done.
If the hoover dam's right
there like he's saying,
we scoot over, we
spread some ashes,
and then we fucking burn
it all the way home.
I'll get you there.
- Let's do it, let's do it.
Let's go.
- yo!
Steve, let's go.
Get off the phone.
- What?
- Come on.
- Babe, alright, let
me call you back.
I know, I love you too.
Alright, bye.
- I love her too.
Okay, we're getting on
the chopper, let's go.
- No no no.
- Yeah yeah yeah.
This is fucking perfect.
- Dude I don't have
that much money.
- I got it taken care of.
- Clayne.
- Yeah.
- We're not getting on
a fucking helicopter.
- Dude, I already
got our tickets.
- We have to go.
- Listen, the guys
an old fucking army
fucking pilot, okay?
I told him my dad flew in the
war, big fucking sob story,
I told him what we were doing.
- Your dad was never
in the fucking army.
- Don't worry about it, he
doesn't know that, let's go.
- Are you serious?
- Yes!
Come on!
- the hoover dam is
one of America's great
engineering feats.
It has enough concrete
in it to pave a road
all the way from San
Francisco to New York City.
It was built during the
great depression, and your
father always told me
that it was a testimony
to the great American spirit.
To make things go right
when things were tough.
- Who could pull
a plan together?
Tell me, look at me,
look at me right now!
Was that fucking amazing?
- Yeah.
- Oh god, it was beautiful!
Mama Dee would have
loved that shit.
- Yeah she would have.
- She did love it.
Woo!
- Mommy, when is
daddy gonna be home?
- Daddy's gonna be
home soon, okay?
Now get back to bed.
- Lay off the throttle a little.
- Dude, I don't know
what she's doing,
making all kinds of
funky noises right now.
- Oh my god.
- Oh no no no, she's smoking.
- Yeah, this is not good.
- Oh my god.
- Look at the
fucking Gauge, man!
Come on!
- These don't work, they
haven't moved in like a week!
- Fucking pull over.
- Jesus Christ.
What do you think it is?
- I don't know til
i get the hood up.
- Is she hot?
- Yeah.
- Ooh!
God damn.
Hook that?
- I got it.
- Watch your hand,
watch your hand.
Oh, fuck.
Alright, it's smoking like this
and leaking that much, man.
Could be anything.
Water pump, thermostat,
i don't know man.
- Just needs some water.
- Yeah, even if we do
that, that's just gonna
buy us time.
We'll have to pull over
like every 15 miles.
- Dude, it's better
than nothing.
We need to keep going.
Let's put some water in
her and see what she needs.
Let her cool and get some water.
- Alright, I'm
gonna take a piss.
- Alright.
- Boom.
- What?
Demolition derby?
- Yeah.
$500.
- Are you serious?
You wanna enter
this into the derby?
- Fuck yeah, why not?
- Fucking die trying, dude.
This thing can't even run.
- Who gives a shit?
- I put water in it
to keep it breathing.
- All it needs to do
is get fucking smashed,
and it's my rv so
I'm gonna do it.
We need that money.
- You really wanna do this?
- What else are we
gonna fucking do?
We need the money, we gotta
get you home, come on.
- Fuck it.
Derby it is.
- Woo!
- Let's do it.
- It's a fucking demolition
derby, what possible
requirements could you have?
- Like I told you before,
fuck nut, there's specific
modifications you have
to have to your vehicle
in order to enter the derby
and you don't have 'em.
There's specific
regulations for safety.
- Well do you have a
specific regulations for what
I can shove right up your ass?
- Whoa whoa clayne, clayne,
what the fuck are you doing?
Chill out.
- I tell you what I'm
gonna do, hip hop.
I'm gonna let you
enter the derby.
I'm even gonna give you
two the vehicle to drive.
But when you lose, and you
will lose, it's gonna be
$5,000 out of your pocket.
But if by some miracle
you do win, I'll pay you
and sweet cheeks $500 to
get the fuck out of here.
- It's what we came to do.
- Alright tiny, let's do it.
- Daisy, hand me the book.
So which one of you two pretty
little boys are gonna drive?
- Me.
- You gonna drive?
- I'm gonna get us home.
- Sign here.
Initial here and here.
Your car'll be out front.
- Do me a favor, charge
yourself a sleeve
to cover that stupid
fucking tattoo.
Yo man, you sure
you wanna do this?
- Yeah, I have to.
- Man, honestly I think
we got a lot better chance
of winning that money
if I'm behind the wheel.
- I got this man,
trust me, alright?
- You fucking did it man!
Right, you okay?
Fucking amazing, listen to
them, they fucking love you.
Woo!
Alright, whichever way
this turns out we need
to get the fuck
out of here, okay?
So we're gonna stash the
bags behind the shed,
if we get separated, meet
there and we're gonna
get the hell out, alright?
- Yeah, let's do it.
- Alright.
Hey.
What are we doing here?
- What do you mean?
- Why'd you push for
this trip so soon after
your mom passed?
- Stevie, I want
you to know I'm proud of you.
You're a good man.
You gave me a wonderful
grandchild who
lights up my world
and someday he's gonna
be a great person.
He may even build a monument
that stands for something
greater than all of us.
- Mom.
There're just rock and metal.
You spent your whole life
obsessing about them.
- They, they always--
- always what, mom?
- Gave me hope.
- Mom?
- Fuck, I'm sorry.
- Yeah.
Let's do this.
- That was awesome, man.
- That was pretty crazy.
So you sure you're gonna be
able to find a ride home?
- Come on, who you talking to?
Alright, take that
money, get your flight.
You earned it, wild man.
- I did.
I did.
- Plus, you know me.
I turn problems into solutions.
- Is that right, John Lennon?
- Yeah.
What a fucking trip.
- Yeah, I'm never gonna
be able to look at
a United States
map the same way.
Every little no name
town, street sign,
it all means so much more
now, you know what I mean?
- Gonna try to kiss
me, aren't you?
- You'd like that.
- You poet.
- You'd like that.
- Weird question.
- Have no doubts, man.
- Is there any of mom left?
- Saved a little
bit for aberdeen.
- Okay.
What's up boss?
Get home safe.
- How's it going?
Hold on one sec.
I believe you, man.
- About what?
- You say you want
to change your life.
- I'm just ready to make
people's lives better instead
of worse.
- You already have, man.
of knowing Dorothy Ann
for 40 years.
She was a classmate, my friend,
a member of our congregation,
and even my nurse a few times.
She was always dedicated to
whatever it was she was doing.
Always found the good in people.
She had more substance
than anyone I ever knew.
She was a proud mother,
and a good one, too.
And she will be
greatly missed by many.
- I told you not to come
around here, did I not?
- Listen, just let me
see him a little bit
before I go, okay?
- You do not get to
see him real quick
when it's convenient
for you, clayne.
Baby, go back inside, please.
Did you get my message
about the child support?
- Yeah, I got your message,
and like I told you,
if I don't have any money,
i can't send you any money.
- I'm so sick of
your excuses, clayne.
Look, all I ask of you is
that you just help us out
around here just a
little bit, but no,
you can't even do that
'cause you're too busy
drinking and smoking and--
- no, that's bullshit,
okay, because I'm sober now
and I quit smoking, so you
have to let me see him.
- Two for 100, good
for you, clayne.
- Okay, hey, buddy, come say
hi to your daddy real quick.
- Please stop making a scene
and just get out of here.
- Hey, buddy, hi,
- go back inside, please.
- He's my son, I have
a right to see him.
- No, you don't, you don't
have any rights around here,
okay, I have full custody
and you can't even pay
your goddamn child support.
- This is bullshit.
I'll see you when i
get back, okay, bud?
- Okay.
- I just don't think it's a
good idea for you to leave
when you're up for a promotion.
Our family needs this.
Why are you ignoring me?
- Look, I'm not, I just
don't want to argue
about it, alright?
- Why can't we leave
together in two months
when the summer comes?
We could go all
together as a family.
- Amy, we've been over this.
- No, we haven't.
You basically made this
decision on your own,
and you expect me
to be okay with it.
Babes, I know what it is
like to lose a mother.
But running from it, it's
not gonna help anything.
- Honey, come on.
- Steve, talk to
me, I am your wife.
What do you feel guilty about?
You've always been
there for her.
- Not enough, I wasn't.
- What's up, you little pirate?
Come here, oh, a
little indoor baseball?
- So what, you're just
gonna make me feel like this?
With clayne of all people?
- You wanna go outside?
- Yeah, come on, let's
go toss it around.
- Amy, he was basically
raised by her, too.
- You can't use
that money, Steve.
- We have plenty coming from her
life insurance money, all right?
She saved this for a
trip she can never take.
This is for her.
- I know you feel lost
right now, and I support you
honoring your mother, I do,
i just wish you would just
settle your emotions
- Amy.
- Before you go, i
don't want anything
to happen to you, okay?
- I'll be fine, alright?
Please, just understand.
What?
Hey.
- Hey, Amy.
- Hey, will you
load these for me?
- Uh, yeah, we have a minute.
- Thanks.
Come on, babe, you
understand, right?
We have to do this.
- You know this hurts
for me, too, right?
- Yeah.
- It won't stop you though.
- Love you.
I'll miss you, buddy.
You're the man of the house now.
- Will you be back
for my birthday party?
- Yeah, I won't miss it
for the world, alright?
- He's gonna be back soon, okay?
- Everything cool, brother?
- I don't know.
- Amy didn't seem
happy to see me.
- She's not happy
right now, period.
- you know, I don't
know, I just--
I'm telling you, man,
it scarred me for life.
The first time I get a pair
of girl's underwear off
and it's got fucking
skid marks on it.
- You would be scarred by that.
- No, it's terrifying.
I believe that girls don't poop.
- Life's just a bunch
of impressions of people
along the way, man.
I remember this time my
grandfather, he'd always show me
his little dice, and he would
say, "Steve, this little
"person lives inside there."
Every time I see a dice, i
think about this little person
that lives inside there,
even though I know
it's not true, you
know what I mean?
Still to this day.
Impressions.
- I think I know what
you're saying, man.
It's like when I was a little
kid and I still believed
in Santa claus, I went
and saw him when we were
at the mall, and I'm
sitting on this dude's lap,
and he's fucking Chinese.
So I'm like, this, I don't
understand what's happening.
This doesn't look
like all the pictures
I've ever seen of Santa claus.
And so in my mind, I'm
like, fuck, I saw the real
Santa claus, all these
other people were wrong.
Is anybody coming?
- You're good, bro.
- And I'm like, man, i
met the real motherfucker.
So for like the next four
years, I was the weirdo
that would dress up as a
ninja and like give people
fortune cookies and Chinese
stars 'cause I thought
that's what the real
Santa would like.
So now every time I see
Santa claus in anything,
I'm like, I just think
of that Asian dude.
- That's funny.
So how's chance, man?
You get a chance to see
him before you left?
- Yeah, he's all
right, doing good.
Lisa just don't let me see him
much, you know what I mean?
Thinks I drink too much around
him and doesn't want him
to grow up to take
after me, I guess.
- That's rough.
Seems like you're doing
a lot better, though.
Aa not helping or what?
- No way, you
know, I wanna drink
the second I leave
that fucking building.
It's ridiculous, man, they
need to take us out somewhere
and let us do
something fun together.
- What?
Like an aa field
trip or something?
- Shit, yeah, you
know what I mean?
Instead of us sitting around
miserable the entire time,
wanna blow our brains
out from fucking boredom,
get us out doing something,
learning in a new
environment, I don't know.
- Man, you just need just
like a full-time job.
I'll try to get you on
my job, you just gotta
get up for the schooling, man.
- I don't know, man.
6am, that's fucking early, dude.
I don't do too well in the
mornings, you know that.
- Not everyone
could be like mom.
She gave me everything.
- Hey, lis, it's me.
Um, just wanna call and
say sorry for earlier.
Trying to get my shit
straightened out,
but you gotta let me see chance.
It's been like a month,
and before that it was like
two months, and I gotta
be able to see my boy, so
I guess just give me a
call when you get a sec,
and let's talk it out.
Maybe we can sit down
when I get back, okay?
Alright, thanks.
- Here's
your change, sir.
- Thank you.
- And have a good day.
- You, too.
You want me to drive?
You tired?
- Yeah.
- Alright.
You want me to stop in a few
hours, get a room,?
- Alright.
- What are you doing still up?
I love you.
- I love you too.
- He is out like a light.
- I'm sure pops put him to
sleep with his old war stories.
- Yeah well i
think he likes 'em.
He just wishes pops could
throw the ball around with him.
- I know, it's a shame.
You know that's not
possible anymore.
What your son needs
is his own father.
- Yeah well, his
father needs a father.
- Oh come on, Lisa.
There must be something to him.
I mean, he had enough charm
to get you, didn't he?
- Biggest mistake of my life.
- Please don't say that, Lisa.
If it wasn't for that mistake,
we wouldn't have chance.
- Mom, I'm not
talking about chance,
I'm obviously
talking about clayne.
You don't even like him.
You say what a deadbeat
he is all the time.
- That's not what I say.
I say I don't like
the way the two of you
treat each other.
Your son adores his father
and he needs him around.
You and clayne need
to work things out.
- So now I'm responsible
for clayne being a deadbeat?
- Okay.
You know what, honey?
I'm gonna go tuck
your father in.
I love you hon, goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- Here we go, mom.
Ready?
There he is, huh?
- Stand there,
I'll get you by it.
Gutzon borglum.
- Despite the rumors,
he was a decent guy.
Wow.
Holy shit.
Mama Dee would have loved this.
- I finally understand
her obsession about it.
Love you, mom.
- Stevie, this was one of
your father's favorite sights.
He'd always tell me what
an amazing accomplishment
it was for mankind to sculpt
the faces on a mountain
in such great detail.
Did you know that these
faces are scaled to a man
who would stand 465 feet tall?
And each head is
six stories high.
Why, that's as
tall as the sphinx.
And the great sculptor
gutzon borglum.
That's gutzon borglum, well,
he started drilling in 1926
when he was 60 years old.
Can you imagine that?
60!
Took him 14 years
to complete it.
You know, goodness, it
just goes to show you
it's never too late to
do something amazing
with your life.
I just hope I get to see
it in person some day.
- I wonder what the four fathers
think of the country now.
- Hope you like roadkill
'cause that looks like
what we got in here.
- This is the only
place around here.
It's nothing but freaking trees.
- How you guys doing?
You guys need a menu?
There you go.
Couple drinks started for you?
- I'll have a water.
- Let me get started with
chicken wings and a soda water.
- You got it, how 'bout you?
- I'm not sure yet.
- What are you gonna get?
- I'm not sure.
- Thought you were starving,
you're being pretty
fucking indecisive.
- He's insecure.
- What's that?
- Fuck insecurity.
Always happened
to have security.
- Don't worry about
him, he does this
from time to time.
I just humor him,
let him do his thing.
But I'll get on this.
Fuck owing someone because
they do something for you.
- Fuck care providers
that don't provide
nothing but carelessness.
- Alright, how 'bout this?
Fuck fake ass motherfuckers.
Fuck something, get in
on this, man, come on.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- Fuck it, fuck people who
judge you on how you dress.
- Wah wah wah.
That was a good try.
How about fuck
power trip people.
- They oughta take a trip of
their own, never come back.
- God damn right.
Fuck gas prices,
we're all on strike.
- Fuck terrorists.
- Alright.
- Fuck the war on peace.
Ain't nothing peaceful about it.
- Damn right.
World doesn't revolve
around you, sick fucks!
- You know what?
Fuck taxes, just fuck 'em.
- We're
on strike again.
- Yeah.
- Fuck crooked cops!
- Fucking pigs.
- Serve and protect my ass!
- Whoa.
- American dream is dead.
What we need is a revolution.
Revolution brings evolution,
without revolution
humans do not evolve, people
need chaotic shit to happen.
Make 'em see the
world differently.
Give 'em a different
perspective.
Otherwise they just
sit there stagnant.
'60s and '70s had revolution.
War.
Drugs.
Protesters.
Those people evolved,
those people revolted.
Us?
We're too lazy to
open our mouth.
Too absorbed with our
high tech devices.
It's embarrassing
how oblivious we are
to the bullshit
that's all around us.
We're all blessed.
It's what you do with your
blessings that counts.
- Welcome to the bar, gentleman.
That's Earl.
- I like him, can we keep him?
- You would keep him.
- Hey buddy, oh.
- Dude, get out,
come, Jesus, get out.
- Christ, what died inside you?
Fuck me, did you eat a goat?
- Fucking chicken wings, man.
- I ate 'em and that shit
ain't happening to me.
- I don't know.
- Yous got a weak little
baby stomach, don't ya?
- Just shut the
fuck up and get out of here.
- You want some pedialyte?
- Shut the door.
- You want me
to get you anything?
- No, and no drinks.
If you're sneaking off
to go get a fucking drink
without me, don't do it.
- Aye aye, captain.
But seriously, call a
doctor, you need to get that
checked out.
- Just fucking go.
- Call me.
The fuck?
- Dear
asshole, I just saved your ass
after you smashed my bumper.
Not sure why I'm helping you,
maybe because I've been
where you're at before
and I've kept my own.
This is your one get
out of jail free card.
Hope I don't regret this.
Take care of yourself,
if not for you,
then for your kids.
Sincerely, one troubled
soul to another.
- So still out here.
- Yeah, 'cause all seven
people that live out here
are too bored to move.
- I think it's nice.
- Nice and terrible.
I guarantee you nothing
interesting has happened here
since they outlawed
cousin fucking in 1912.
- Oh man, you're crazy.
- Why would you
choose to live here?
- Greg doesn't
have a say so, man.
Until he sells a screenplay,
Stacy's calling all the shots.
Plus it's like nice people
place to sleep tonight.
- What kind of idiot tries to
make a living writing movies?
What do you mean,
sleep here tonight?
I gotta fucking stay
out here overnight?
- Dude, what is your
problem with Greg?
Was that a gunshot?
What do you got a gun for?
Whoa whoa whoa!
Oh my god, he's tripping out.
Greg, Greg!
Put the gun down!
- Go go go, drive,
drive, fast, drive fast,
fucker's gonna get me, just
fucking drive, just go!
- Who's after you?
- Oh shit!
- Who's after you?
- Faster man, faster!
They not fucking
playing around, faster!
Oh fucking shit!
- I don't even see a
scarecrow, Jesus Christ.
Greg.
- They gonna take
me alive, drive.
- Give me that
fucking rifle, man.
- Cock pissing motherfuckers!
Go get you, go get
you motherfuckers!
You want it?
Come get some,
come and get some!
- There's
nothing out there.
- He's
got a gun, clayne.
Greg, no no no no!
Greg, gimme the gun!
There's nothing in there!
- Ooh, they're fucking
sneaky little fuckers.
- Give me
the gun, Greg, man,
who is it, who?
Greg, where's Stacy?
Greg!
Greg, where's Stacy?
- Who?
- Your wife, Stacy your wife.
- Oh shit, Stacy.
- Yeah, where she at?
- Oh god, what would the
dragons want with Stacy?
Oh fuck, the dragons got Stacy!
Stacy!
Oh fuck Stacy, I'm sorry Stacy!
- Are you
fucking kidding me?
- Greg.
- You sure you killed them?
- Yeah bud, we got them all.
- All the who?
- Yeah Greg, we slew the
dragons, all of them.
Dragons are dead as shit.
- Oh friend, I knew
you weren't a demon.
I'm so happy right now.
You see that?
All the colors have come back.
Oh, this is gonna be
an amazing evening.
- Might wanna keep this on you.
How long does this
stuff take to wear off?
- How the
fuck should I know?
'Cause I done a couple
drugs in my day?
I've obviously never done
what fucking chiquita banana
is on over there.
- Oh, it's gonna be
an amazing evening.
You miss me too?
When is she coming back?
I miss her, Steve.
Oh my god, why?
- I can't, I can't.
- Look, Greg.
- I miss her, Steve,
i miss her so much.
- I'll be right back.
- Steve.
- It's okay, it's okay.
- Don't leave me.
- It's okay, it's okay.
- Oh my god, that's
fucking right.
New York pizza's the best, man.
I would cut off your left arm
to be able to eat
this every night.
- Yeah, thanks buddy.
It's really good but we
were starving so it's like
being stoned, everything's
better when you're stoned.
- Don't try to get
scientific with me.
Hey hey hey like being stoned.
Oh my god, I'm in
love, give me another.
- Dude, you're a pig,
it's your fourth one.
We're on a tight budget, man.
- Like I said.
I'll sing the entire fucking
song in this restaurant
unless you get me more pizza.
- Go ahead, make
an ass of yourself.
- You know that's
what I'm best at.
- I'm used to it.
- Really?
You ready for this?
- Sorry.
I'm warning you.
- Ladies and gentlemen.
- I'm serious.
- No, well, you fucked
yourself on this one.
- Just another day.
thank you New York City!
- Woo, sing it!
- Thank you, thank
you very much.
- You're a madman.
- Yeah, I am, luckily,
somebody here likes crazy.
Wah wah.
- Oh, here we go.
- Yeah, it's on.
- Clayne.
- Nope, too late.
Ladies, ladies, ladies.
How are we this evening?
- Hello there.
- Hello, how was
the show, did you enjoy it?
- Never seen one
like that before.
- Well, that's what
i was looking for,
you know what I mean, and
i know this is awkward
but tickets are $10, you
can either pay me directly,
can buy me and my handsome
gentleman friend over there
some drinks down the
street, or you can just
stuff it right
down my waistband.
- Dinner and a strip show.
- I aim to please, ladies.
You know what I mean?
So, you guys decide
your method of payment
and we can retire
to a bar or my rv.
Oh god, I sound like a fucking
serial killer, don't I?
- A little bit.
- Little too strong?
- Little bit, yeah.
- I didn't mean rv, I meant
ritz Carlton on wheels,
which is more appropriate.
- Oh wow, I never heard of
that before in New York.
- Yeah well I mean
it's this new thing,
I think Donald trump started
it, it's really high class.
- Where you from?
- Washington state.
- Oh nice.
- You know what I mean?
Whoa!
Baby hawk doesn't
like being touched,
you gotta warm up
to baby hawk, okay?
- You look crazy, you know?
- Whoa.
- A little crazy,
I'm a lot crazy.
- I can't touch it?
- Oh, you can touch
it all you want.
- Oh there you go.
- There you go,
you just gotta ask.
- Feels good, feels good.
- It does feel good.
Lots of people should touch it.
So, I guess that's all
we need to say, isn't it?
Meet you girls out front
about five minutes?
- How cocky.
- Sounds good.
Baby hawk doesn't
know any better,
he just does what he does.
- Baby hawk, hmm.
- I don't know, sometimes
it's too easy, buddy.
Got a gift.
- What, what's happening?
- Well I'm pretty sure
we're gonna hang out
with those girls, have a few
drinks, maybe do a little
dancing, I don't know.
- Seriously man?
It's late.
- Alright dude, what's
the fucking problem?
- First of all you're
supposed to stay sober.
Second of all I'm married,
i know it's not a big deal
to you but technically,
so are you man.
- Technically we're separated
and I live in my fucking rv.
And is that really how
you wanna come at me?
Okay, Lisa doesn't
want to be with me,
what the fuck am I supposed
to do, sit at home and cry?
Why wouldn't I hang out
with these beautiful women?
- Exactly why she doesn't
want to be with you, man.
Look, I didn't mean
it that way, alright?
I'm just looking out for
you, you need to chill out.
Just call it a night, man.
It's been a long ride already.
- Look, I know where you're
coming from and I appreciate it.
But I'm a grown ass man and
i don't need you lecturing me
and I don't need someone
looking out for me.
- I got it.
- Yeah, so if I wanna go
have some drinks with some
beautiful women and
enjoy New York City,
I'm gonna do that.
Okay?
But I'm not doing it alone, i
need you there with me, man,
that's the reason for this trip.
Fucking let loose for one
night, man, do some harmless
flirting, have one drink.
Nothing shady, man, this
is all innocent stuff.
Just come out with
me for one beer.
Please.
There he is.
- One beer.
Seriously, one beer.
- One beer.
- hey, I bought all
my shirts at baby gap.
She doesn't believe I got
a live beaver in there.
- Oh, live beaver.
- We got a unfinished game
of pokemon we gotta settle up
so if y'all could give
us a little space.
- Dude, it's cold out man.
- Okay, well good luck
getting into the room.
- Yeah, we got a room.
It's right over here.
- Sit your ass down
there, I wanna see those,
get that shirt off.
- You take that shirt off.
- I'm not scared, come on!
- Come on,
you first, do it!
- Go, alright, get it off!
Oh, you're about to get it.
- Oh yeah.
- Yeah?
- Come on daddy.
- So.
- So.
That's funny.
Sorry about clayne, you
know, he can be a handful.
- Oh, no, so can Jess.
But it doesn't mean that
we can't have a little bit
more fun.
- What do you mean?
- I was thinking maybe
we could be a little more
adventurous.
- Like what?
What do you have in mind?
You look happy.
What is that, weed?
Wow, already packed.
Guess that's how you
do it in New York, huh?
- Come on.
You don't break
the rules, at all?
Just this once?
Come on, you are on a road trip.
- Yeah.
- Take the edge off.
- For old time's sake.
- Cheers.
- Oh fuck!
That's good.
That's good.
That's fucking good.
Oh god yeah you could win
some fucking awards for that.
- You should come
and sit over here.
I like to smoke and cuddle.
- I don't know, I'm
already breaking one rule,
I don't wanna.
- Come on, come sit over here.
- That ain't happening.
- Okay, I'm gonna
come over there then.
- Okay, wow.
That's one way to do it.
Uh oh.
Getting cozy?
- Mm hmm.
Why don't you take
this, is this flannel?
Why don't you take
this flannel off?
- What, you don't
like the flannel?
- It's very nirvana.
- Good.
- Why are you so nervous?
- I don't know.
- Don't be.
You know, we're two
adults, conversing.
- Yeah.
- And relaxing.
- Stoned in a bed
in a hotel room.
- Steve.
You're a nice guy.
Your mother is looking
down at you smiling.
- I hope not at this moment.
- What about your dad?
You don't like to talk
about him much, do you?
- Not really.
Didn't really know him.
Truck driver.
He was gone 12 weeks
at a time, just gone.
She used to work at the
hospital and come home
and have to take care of me
and clayne after a while.
I don't know.
She got sick.
That was it.
- That's really sweet
what you're doing for her.
- It's the first thing i
ever did good for my mom.
Look, look.
Look, you're a beautiful girl.
Seriously, you're
gorgeous, alright?
Any man would be
lucky to have you.
I just, I can't be that guy.
- Nah, it's okay.
Just got caught
up in the moment.
- Yeah, me too.
It was nice.
- This isn't gonna
happen, is it?
- Not without me
feeling any more guilty
than I already do.
Alright, I'm gonna
check on them.
Here, it's getting late.
- Thank you.
- Take it easy.
- Yeah, was very therapeutic.
- You have a safe journey.
- We will, I'll try.
- Good talk.
- Come on.
- Let's go.
- Anything you wanna tell me?
- What do you mean?
- Oh, what do you mean?
- Dude, nothing happened.
- Okay.
What about that giant
bulge in your pants.
- Shut up, fucker.
- Yeah, it's not very big.
No, no, you don't
know where I've been!
- Dude said it's
not gonna happen.
Island's closed
for another week.
- You gotta be kidding me.
- Why don't we just do it here?
I mean, we're pretty close,
the water's nice and calm.
It's a good spot.
- I wanted to take her
inside the statue, man.
Not right here, not
across the river.
- This is great.
Come on man, this
is really nice.
- This statue took the
whole world to build.
The sculptor fredrick
auguste bartoli designed it
along with the same man who
designed the Eiffel Tower,
Alexandre Gustav eiffel.
It was a joint effort between
the French and the American
people, the French were
gonna build the statue
while the Americans were
gonna build the pedestal.
Now at that time, money was
very rough for both countries,
so the French collected
public fees for the work,
and the Americans, well,
we held theatrical events,
art shows, auctions,
even prize fighting,
to make enough money to have
the statue made and delivered.
And when people weren't
helping, well, Joseph pulitzer
of the pulitzer prize fame,
well, he used his newspaper
to call out the greedy
to raise more money.
Your father, he always
used to say that the
statue of Liberty was a
true symbol of the world
coming together.
- What's up?
- I just remember a time
when she was talking
so passionately about the
statue and I just blew her off.
- Well, we're here
now, honoring her.
- A little late to
show our appreciation.
- Why are you so hard on
yourself about this, okay?
You were just a little kid,
what the fuck did you know?
- Is that supposed to make
me feel better about it?
- Alright, think
about it this way.
When you think about curt,
what do you think of?
You think about all the
times he's fucked up,
or gotten in trouble,
or talked back to you?
No man, you think about how
fucking happy it makes you
to see his face every
morning and every night.
That's what sticks with you.
I guarantee you it was
the same way for Dorothy.
- Says the so-called
deadbeat dad.
- Alright you wanna play
around, keep the gloves up,
keep 'em high, keep 'em
high, keep 'em high.
- Just playing, alright?
Seriously, sorry.
- Alright.
- Alright.
This will have to do.
Good enough?
- This is good.
This is nice.
- Here you go, mom.
Alright, let's go.
- Your
call has been forwarded
to an automatic voice
message system.
- Really?
All the way across the
country and you can't pick up
and let me talk to my
own son, not even once?
I don't care if you got some
fucking dude over there,
just pick up the goddamn phone.
Bitch.
- First of all, I'm at work,
but I guess you didn't think
about now that did you, dipshit?
And second of all, I'm a bitch?
I'm a bitch for falling in
love with a childish asshole
who acts the exact same
way he did when he was
18 years old.
You know what clayne?
You can't even hold
down a fucking job.
You fuck everything
that walks, okay?
And you're drunk more
than half the time.
So don't you dare call me
or try and see your son
until you can prove
to be a real father.
You know I'm not even
going to acknowledge
that stupid fucking comment
about another dude being
over here.
Grow the fuck up.
Asshole.
- Grab me something, I'll
be out front, alright?
- Nice mohawk, bitch.
- Why don't you suck
my dick, motherfucker?
- Ooh.
- Oh yeah you like
that, don't you?
- Tough guy, huh?
- Come find out.
- With your big
tough guy haircut.
What you compensating for
with that haircut, man?
- It's gotta counterweight
my big dick, bitch.
- All you say is dicks, man.
- Man, put your bitch on a
leash before she gets hurt.
- Man, don't even
worry about him,
this is between me and
you, don't worry about him.
- I'm not worried.
- You look worried.
Gonna come down off that porch?
- Is that all for you?
- Yeah.
- Tough guy haircut,
torn jeans, muscle shirt.
Ain't gonna save you
from a ass beating.
- Oh yeah?
- Bitch!
- Oh, shit.
- Hey, what's going on?
- Glad you showed up.
We were just talking about you.
- Really, 'cause I was
born during the day
but it wasn't yesterday
so why don't you tell me
what's really going on?
- Just--
- y'all got beef?
- Nope.
- No.
- I don't even know this dude.
- Alright, okay, all
y'all's ids please.
Ids.
ID, yeah, great.
Let me get your ID.
- Thank you, appreciate it.
ID?
Give me your ID sir.
- If you wanted my phone
number you could just ask.
- Oh man, I'm busted,
how did you know?
- I can tell.
- You're just my type.
Hey, out of state?
- Yep.
- What are y'all
doing around here?
- Long story.
- Well why don't
you entertain me?
- Well actually his mom
died and we're spreading
her ashes.
- Okay, alright, do me a favor?
- Bitch.
- Stop talking.
Y'all step away from
each other please.
Alright, for your safety
and mine I need all of you
to remain where you are.
I'll be right back
with you, okay?
- You believe this
fucking guy, dude?
- Clayne.
- What?
- What the fuck?
- Alright, tell me why
you're really here again?
- Exactly what he said.
- Exactly what he said?
What was that you said?
- Spreading his mother's ashes.
- Alright, do me a favor, put
your hands behind your back.
What's the deal with
failure to appear
on a suspended license?
- Slipped my mind.
- Slipped your mind?
So you knew you had
a warrant on file?
- Somewhat.
- Come on, do me a favor,
step away from the car, sir.
- Sweet tits, let's just
get in the back of the car.
- Excuse me?
You wanna play like that,
we can play like that.
- Clayne, please
don't make it worse.
- That's cool.
Yeah, come on, stand
up, hold up, hold up.
Nothing sharp?
Alright, come on.
- Excuse me, officer,
is this really necessary?
- Yes sir, do me a favor,
don't be walking up on me,
step back, appreciate
it, thank you.
Go ahead, get in the car.
Watch your head.
Scoot back.
Alright.
- Can you tell me why
he's being arrested?
- Yep.
He's got warrants.
- For what?
- Failure to appear for
a suspended license.
- You have to
arrest him for that?
We're on a road trip.
- Yeah fuck you motherfucker!
- Hey, be quiet please.
I don't have a choice.
The problem is it's Friday
night and that means
there's no magistrate which
means he's gonna have to
go in front of a judge
on Monday morning.
Alright, good luck to you.
Thank you, appreciate it.
- Please, I can't.
This is unbelievable.
- Hello?
- Hi babe.
- Hi.
Where you guys at now?
- We're somewhere in
Philly, clayne's in jail.
- What?
Why?
- Amy, please,
please, I don't know,
he had some warrants out
or something and driving
with a suspended license,
who the fuck knows with him?
- I knew, I knew this
trip was a bad idea,
especially with clayne.
- Amy, please don't
lecture me right now.
I am just calling to
say hi, wanted to have
a peaceful conversation,
just keep you updated.
- Well thanks
for the daily update
of how much of a fuck up
your best friend is, Steve.
Real newsflash there!
- Amy, please, alright?
God, I'm tired, can I just have
a little support right now?
Please?
- Yeah, it would be
nice, wouldn't it?
How do you think I feel, Steve?
I loved your mom too.
But you left me dealing
with this all on my own.
Curt's just a child,
Steve, he doesn't even
understand that his
grandmother just passed away.
You need to be home
with your family.
- You're acting like i
abandoned my family, Amy.
I didn't.
Look, I'm honoring my mother
the only way I know how.
You don't get it.
I didn't show her appreciation
at all her whole life.
I can't see her again,
Amy, you understand that?
I can't ever talk to her again.
- I'm so sorry baby.
I just want you
here home with us.
Can you just please skip
the rest of the monuments
and come home?
- I love you and curt so
much, I miss you guys.
I just have to do this,
please understand that.
I can't explain it, it's
just something I have to do.
I'll call you soon, alright?
I love you.
- I love you too.
- Hey yo, what are
you in here for?
Hey dipshit, you deaf?
Said what are you in here for?
- Being an idiot.
- Well,
con-fucking-gratulations.
Aren't you a peach?
- What did you say?
- What are you a fucking retard?
You one of these
slow di di dits?
You know, you remind me a
lot of my little boy, man.
He's a little bitch.
Soft, just like his mama.
See that's the problem
with kids nowadays.
They're soft, they
got no backbones.
You slap them up a little
bit to show them what's what
and what they do?
They run and call
the cops on you.
What?
You think my old man didn't
smack me up from time to time?
Shit.
That old bastard used
to have this belt,
he used to wrap it around
his hand real, real tight
and then that motherfucker
used to go to town on me.
Used to wake up the next
morning with welts this big
on my back.
But did I cry?
Did I run to school
and tell my teachers
my daddy hit me, my daddy
hit me, like a little
fucking bitch?
Fuck no.
You know why?
'Cause that's the shit
that makes you a man.
But not my boy, no he
can't comprehend that shit.
So fuck it, you know what?
He's got a problem with
me laying my hands on him
and trying to make him man up?
Fuck it.
That little bastard
can raise himself,
you know what I'm saying?
- I'm really sorry, man.
But thank you.
Where'd you get the
money to bail me out?
- Don't worry about it.
- Steve, I know you don't
have that kind of money
just laying around.
Did they give you the life
insurance money already?
Dude, just tell me where
you got the money--
- I got it from curt's
savings, alright?
Child had to bail you out.
I can't believe you, man.
Take a fucking road trip
on a suspended license?
Warrants out your fucking
arrest you don't even tell me?
- I told you, you wouldn't
have let me come, would you?
And I wanna honor mom as well.
- She wasn't your mother.
- Don't fucking say that.
Alright, we have our
differences, I might be a fuckup
and you can be mad at me,
but don't fucking go there.
- Everything you fucking
do affects somebody else,
you know that you
fucking selfish prick?
- Oh, maybe I should be
more responsible like you,
huh?
- Are you being
sarcastic right now?
Huh?
Fucking hope not, man.
You're lucky I'm
fucking here right now.
Always bailing you out of
fucking jail and anything else.
I'm sitting here wondering
when the next fucking time
I have to bail you out is.
Lisa's doing the right thing
keeping chance from you.
- Fuck you!
Need to ask you a favor.
- What?
- Can we stop in St. Louis?
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- That's like 300 miles in
the wrong direction, man.
I lost three fucking days
'cause of your shenanigans.
- Look, I know we've had
our differences this trip.
But this is really
important to me, okay?
Please, I need to
stop in St. Louis.
I have to see my dad.
- Are you sure
he's even ticking?
- Yeah, he's there.
- I'll wait here for you, man.
- Why don't you come in with me?
- You really want me to?
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
- Whatever you two are
selling, I ain't buying.
- You really don't
recognize me, do you?
- Should I?
- Guess not.
It's been 27 years.
- Holy shit.
Clayne?
- I'm surprised you
even remember my name.
- Jesus Christ boy!
Who's your friend here?
- That's my buddy Steve.
- I remember you.
Yeah.
These two little bastards
ran all over the neighborhood
causing all kinds of hell.
Yeah.
So how's your mother
doing these days?
- She's great.
She's been dead for 20 years.
- Jeez, I'm sorry to hear that.
- Yeah, so was I.
- Hey look, I'm gonna give
you guys some privacy.
Nice to see you again, sir.
- Well hell.
Say, you boys, you
wanna grab some beers?
I got a nice little spot
around the corner over here,
we can--
- I'm not here to drink
beers with you, bishop.
- No?
What do you want from me?
- What do I want from you?
Okay for starters
how 'bout you tell me
why I haven't heard
from you in 27 years?
- You gotta understand
something, son.
Me and your mother, we
didn't get along so well.
I didn't want to make
things worse for you.
I figured calling and writing
would just make things
harder for you, that's all.
- Harder for me?
You're my dad.
All I wanted from
you was a kind word.
I miss you.
I love you.
A fucking happy birthday, champ.
Anything!
What kind of piece of shit
just disappears like that?
- So you drove all
the way out here
to show me that you're
a better man than me?
Is that it?
Does it make you feel happy?
See your old man's nothing
but a worthless drunk?
Yeah.
Is this gonna make
you feel better, boy?
- Not a day has gone by
since you left that I haven't
thought about you.
Where you were,
what you were doing.
I didn't understand how
someone could not want
their own son.
I used to wish
that you were dead.
'Cause at least then
there was a reason
that you weren't calling me.
Then I found out you were alive.
So I had to come
up with new reasons
that you wouldn't call.
I used to think about it,
I'd sit there and imagine
you'd met this new woman.
You got married and you
had a family, new kids.
And there's this beautiful
house on a sunny day,
and it's your new
son's birthday.
And it made you think of me.
So you'd sneak inside
and you'd try to call me.
And right before I could
pick up your new wife
would come in and she'd
stop you and you'd have to
hang up.
Fuck, every time someone
called and hung up
I thought maybe it was you.
It never was, was it?
- I wanted to call you, son.
- You wanted to call me?
Well what a fucking relief.
You know what I do when
i want to talk to my son?
I pick up the goddamn
phone or I go see him.
- You have a son?
- Yeah, I do.
And he's the most important
thing in the world to me.
- What's his name?
- You don't get to know that.
You know why?
Because you'll never
fucking see him,
and you will never
fucking talk to him.
But what you need to know
is that I will be there
every single day for
him until they put me in
the ground 'cause that's what
a real fucking father does.
- Well congratu-fucking-lations.
Huh?
Ain't you a peach?
What do you want
me to do boy, huh?
Throw you a goddamn parade?
- I want you to sit
there and finish drinking
yourself to death.
- Clayne!
- I was just a
little fucking kid!
Why the fuck would
he not want me?
What the fuck did I do?
Why the fuck didn't he want me?
Why the fuck did he not want me?
Why, I didn't
fucking do anything?
Just a fucking kid!
Fucking little.
- I'm sorry.
I'm here for you, alright?
Come here.
Love you, man.
You're a better man than
that, you know that?
Alright?
Love you, man.
- clayne.
- Are you sure?
- Absolutely, man.
That shit I said about
her not being your mother,
that's bullshit.
She raised you like
you were her own.
We're brothers, man.
- What the fuck was that?
- Oh shit.
Oh, fuck.
Think I blew a tire.
- Fuck.
This is unbelievable,
GPS is coming in and out,
I can't get no
reception right now.
- Dude, nothing
would work out here.
I think this is a bad idea.
- Well what else do
you want from me?
I don't, you know, seriously?
- If we stayed on the
highway we might see somebody
coming by.
This way, there's nobody that
way and I remember it was
like 100 miles to.
- Seriously, like five miles
or so there was a little
gas station rest stop.
I don't wanna sit
there and wait.
- I don't feel like getting
murdered and raped today, man.
- Nobody wants to get home more
than me right now, alright?
Please.
This is the fastest
way, I promise.
Come on, GPS, it keeps
coming in and out, man.
Said like five miles
or something last time
and we've walked at least
a half mile from there.
Check your phone.
- Are you joking?
Okay, yeah.
Spock?
Okay yeah, you got us?
Okay, yeah.
- That's a good one.
I've no time to joke,
i need to get home.
- Change mine to a bean burrito.
Tell sulu to quit
humping my plant.
- That's really gonna help
us, that's really good.
Here comes a Van.
- What?
- Van.
Hey!
- Man, that's
not a good idea.
- Not a good, man, seriously,
you wanna stand out
here and you're sitting
here whining about this,
let's go, wave him on.
Yo!
Come on, what are you afraid of?
Thanks for stopping, guys.
- Looks like you two
are in big trouble.
- Uh yeah actually our rv
broke down a couple miles back
on the highway.
- How?
- Oh, good evening sir.
- No, how did it happen?
- Oh, I thought you
guys didn't, you know.
- We just, we blew a tire.
Back on the highway.
- Very unlucky for
you, white man.
- Yes, your people have
raped and murdered our people
for far too long.
Now we are going to
return the favor.
- What?
- Oh, okay, take it
easy man, we don't even
have any money.
- Money, money cannot buy
back what the white man
has stolen from us.
The only payment we
want now is blood.
- Whoa whoa whoa.
- What the fuck is that man?
Come on.
- Come on, guys.
- Holy shit, the only
payment we want is blood?
Oh man that's so fucking good!
- Are they serious?
- Awesome.
- We're just kidding,
we're just kidding.
- My heart is like
pumping right now.
- So can you guys help us, or?
- I'm just messing
with you, I'm Jack.
- Steve.
- This is bill.
- Little nervous with
that but nice to meet you,
that's good, that's good.
- Get in the shaggin' wagon,
we'll take you to town,
alright?
- Woo.
- Guys, it's cool, we're
not gonna rape you.
- Awesome.
Comforting.
- They seem pretty good,
they seem pretty harmless.
- Yeah, it's your
idea, get in the Van.
- Well come on if you're
gonna come with us,
I gotta catch the new south
park anyways so let's go.
- Got it?
- Gotta fix that door.
- Yeah, well it's on our
to-do list, we'll get to it.
- Thanks boys, appreciate it.
- Hey, make sure to Facebook me.
- Absolutely.
- Thanks again, both
of you guys, seriously.
- Yeah, no problem.
- Us white folk owe you one.
- Think you owe
us more than one.
- Hey ho!
- Shit.
- Nah but in all
seriousness it's nice to see
that not everyone's forgotten
about honoring those
that came before us.
Dorothy'd be proud.
Take care of yourselves,
have a blessed journey.
- Dude, why didn't
you wake me up?
- You were sleeping like a baby.
I gotta check on the rv anyway.
- What'd they say?
- It's not good.
Expensive ass tow, tire
repair, we're not gonna
have enough to get home, man.
I dunno, sucks.
- Fuck!
- Yeah, we are fucked.
- Fuck, I'm sorry.
I know this is on me, I know
i cost you a lot this trip.
- It's fine.
- No, I swear to god I'm
gonna pay you back, and curt.
- I'm not worried
about that right now.
I just wanna find a way to
get fucking home right now.
- We'll get you home.
And I know you're not
worried about this,
but I need you to hear me.
All the shit we gone
through on this trip,
all I've been able to
think about is my boy,
and he deserves better
than I had and he's gonna
fucking get it.
All this other shit, it's done.
It's him and Lisa,
that's it for me.
I'm gonna go home, I'm
gonna finish that training,
I'm gonna get one of those
jobs you keep hounding me
about, okay?
I swear to god, man.
- Alright, that's good.
Let's just reroute ourselves
and find a fucking way home.
The motel guy told me that
hoover dam's 40 miles from here.
We head there, head to la,
shoot straight up the coast,
I don't know what
we're gonna do.
- Well when's curt's birthday?
- Tomorrow.
Fuck.
That's why I'm so
fucking stressed out.
- La's done.
If the hoover dam's right
there like he's saying,
we scoot over, we
spread some ashes,
and then we fucking burn
it all the way home.
I'll get you there.
- Let's do it, let's do it.
Let's go.
- yo!
Steve, let's go.
Get off the phone.
- What?
- Come on.
- Babe, alright, let
me call you back.
I know, I love you too.
Alright, bye.
- I love her too.
Okay, we're getting on
the chopper, let's go.
- No no no.
- Yeah yeah yeah.
This is fucking perfect.
- Dude I don't have
that much money.
- I got it taken care of.
- Clayne.
- Yeah.
- We're not getting on
a fucking helicopter.
- Dude, I already
got our tickets.
- We have to go.
- Listen, the guys
an old fucking army
fucking pilot, okay?
I told him my dad flew in the
war, big fucking sob story,
I told him what we were doing.
- Your dad was never
in the fucking army.
- Don't worry about it, he
doesn't know that, let's go.
- Are you serious?
- Yes!
Come on!
- the hoover dam is
one of America's great
engineering feats.
It has enough concrete
in it to pave a road
all the way from San
Francisco to New York City.
It was built during the
great depression, and your
father always told me
that it was a testimony
to the great American spirit.
To make things go right
when things were tough.
- Who could pull
a plan together?
Tell me, look at me,
look at me right now!
Was that fucking amazing?
- Yeah.
- Oh god, it was beautiful!
Mama Dee would have
loved that shit.
- Yeah she would have.
- She did love it.
Woo!
- Mommy, when is
daddy gonna be home?
- Daddy's gonna be
home soon, okay?
Now get back to bed.
- Lay off the throttle a little.
- Dude, I don't know
what she's doing,
making all kinds of
funky noises right now.
- Oh my god.
- Oh no no no, she's smoking.
- Yeah, this is not good.
- Oh my god.
- Look at the
fucking Gauge, man!
Come on!
- These don't work, they
haven't moved in like a week!
- Fucking pull over.
- Jesus Christ.
What do you think it is?
- I don't know til
i get the hood up.
- Is she hot?
- Yeah.
- Ooh!
God damn.
Hook that?
- I got it.
- Watch your hand,
watch your hand.
Oh, fuck.
Alright, it's smoking like this
and leaking that much, man.
Could be anything.
Water pump, thermostat,
i don't know man.
- Just needs some water.
- Yeah, even if we do
that, that's just gonna
buy us time.
We'll have to pull over
like every 15 miles.
- Dude, it's better
than nothing.
We need to keep going.
Let's put some water in
her and see what she needs.
Let her cool and get some water.
- Alright, I'm
gonna take a piss.
- Alright.
- Boom.
- What?
Demolition derby?
- Yeah.
$500.
- Are you serious?
You wanna enter
this into the derby?
- Fuck yeah, why not?
- Fucking die trying, dude.
This thing can't even run.
- Who gives a shit?
- I put water in it
to keep it breathing.
- All it needs to do
is get fucking smashed,
and it's my rv so
I'm gonna do it.
We need that money.
- You really wanna do this?
- What else are we
gonna fucking do?
We need the money, we gotta
get you home, come on.
- Fuck it.
Derby it is.
- Woo!
- Let's do it.
- It's a fucking demolition
derby, what possible
requirements could you have?
- Like I told you before,
fuck nut, there's specific
modifications you have
to have to your vehicle
in order to enter the derby
and you don't have 'em.
There's specific
regulations for safety.
- Well do you have a
specific regulations for what
I can shove right up your ass?
- Whoa whoa clayne, clayne,
what the fuck are you doing?
Chill out.
- I tell you what I'm
gonna do, hip hop.
I'm gonna let you
enter the derby.
I'm even gonna give you
two the vehicle to drive.
But when you lose, and you
will lose, it's gonna be
$5,000 out of your pocket.
But if by some miracle
you do win, I'll pay you
and sweet cheeks $500 to
get the fuck out of here.
- It's what we came to do.
- Alright tiny, let's do it.
- Daisy, hand me the book.
So which one of you two pretty
little boys are gonna drive?
- Me.
- You gonna drive?
- I'm gonna get us home.
- Sign here.
Initial here and here.
Your car'll be out front.
- Do me a favor, charge
yourself a sleeve
to cover that stupid
fucking tattoo.
Yo man, you sure
you wanna do this?
- Yeah, I have to.
- Man, honestly I think
we got a lot better chance
of winning that money
if I'm behind the wheel.
- I got this man,
trust me, alright?
- You fucking did it man!
Right, you okay?
Fucking amazing, listen to
them, they fucking love you.
Woo!
Alright, whichever way
this turns out we need
to get the fuck
out of here, okay?
So we're gonna stash the
bags behind the shed,
if we get separated, meet
there and we're gonna
get the hell out, alright?
- Yeah, let's do it.
- Alright.
Hey.
What are we doing here?
- What do you mean?
- Why'd you push for
this trip so soon after
your mom passed?
- Stevie, I want
you to know I'm proud of you.
You're a good man.
You gave me a wonderful
grandchild who
lights up my world
and someday he's gonna
be a great person.
He may even build a monument
that stands for something
greater than all of us.
- Mom.
There're just rock and metal.
You spent your whole life
obsessing about them.
- They, they always--
- always what, mom?
- Gave me hope.
- Mom?
- Fuck, I'm sorry.
- Yeah.
Let's do this.
- That was awesome, man.
- That was pretty crazy.
So you sure you're gonna be
able to find a ride home?
- Come on, who you talking to?
Alright, take that
money, get your flight.
You earned it, wild man.
- I did.
I did.
- Plus, you know me.
I turn problems into solutions.
- Is that right, John Lennon?
- Yeah.
What a fucking trip.
- Yeah, I'm never gonna
be able to look at
a United States
map the same way.
Every little no name
town, street sign,
it all means so much more
now, you know what I mean?
- Gonna try to kiss
me, aren't you?
- You'd like that.
- You poet.
- You'd like that.
- Weird question.
- Have no doubts, man.
- Is there any of mom left?
- Saved a little
bit for aberdeen.
- Okay.
What's up boss?
Get home safe.
- How's it going?
Hold on one sec.
I believe you, man.
- About what?
- You say you want
to change your life.
- I'm just ready to make
people's lives better instead
of worse.
- You already have, man.