Night Has Settled (2014) Movie Script
ADRIANA?
ARRIBA, ARRIBA.
LEVANTATE.
DESPIERTA.
LEVANTESE.
ARRIBA, NIO.
AQUI, AQUI!
UP!
CUCKOO!
CUCKOO!
HOLD ON, WOMAN.
HELLO, MAMA.
YOU SEE WE ARE
EXACTLY THE SAME.
WE EVEN GO TO THE BATHROOM
AT THE SAME TIME.
OKAY, CLOSE THE DOOR,
I GOTTA GO.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
PASS ME SOME TOILET PAPER.
FART FACE,
HERE YOU GO.
REACH FOR IT.
COME ON.
YOU CAN DO IT.
REACH WITH YOUR TINY,
LITTLE LADY ARMS.
YOU LITTLE FUCKER.
CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR.
LATER LOSER.
AND TELL ADRIANA
NOT TO TAKE MY BRUSH.
DID YOU HEAR ME?
TELL ADRIANA NO TO TAKE MY HAIRBRUSH.
I'VE ORDERED DOZENS
OF BRUSHES,
AND SHE TAKES MINE
EVERY SINGLE MORNING.
THIS IS MY TOOTHPASTE.
MOM, I'M FUCKING NAKED.
FINE, JUST TELL HER.
ALL RIGHT,
GET OUT, WOMAN.
I'M GOING BACK TO SLEEP.
MOM, YOU TOOK THE TOOTHPASTE,
SERIOUSLY?
HAVE YOU SEEN MY MAKEUP?
NO.
GET OUT OF HERE.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
MOVE!
AIDA?
STOP,
YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP MOM.
OH, YOUR LITTLE,
PRECIOUS POOR, LITTLE MOMMY.
WILL YOU GET OFF MY MIRROR,
PLEASE?
LITTLE MAMA'S BOY.
THANK YOU.
AIDA, DONDE ESTA
MI MAQUILLAJE?
SHUT UP!
DON'T TAKE HER BRUSH.
BIG WHOOP,
I DON'T CARE
IF THAT LOSER'S
GOING TO BE THERE.
HE LOOKS LIKE A TATER TOT.
YEAH, A SHORT,
OVER-TAN POTATO HEAD.
AH, SHE FOUND IT.
THANK YOU.
WHAT?
YEAH, NO, I TOLD YOU
I'D MEET YOU AT THE CORNER.
NO, NO, NO.
ADRIANA, ADRIANA.
I NEED IT.
JESUS CHRIST,
GIVE ME THE DAMN BRUSH.
FINE, I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU.
JUST LET ME FINISH
BRUSHING MY HAIR.
I MEAN, STOP
BEING SO RIDICULOUS.
IT'S A FUCKING HAIRBRUSH.
JUST GIVE IT TO ME.
STOP!
STOP, MOM, STOP!
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
STOP!
LET GO!
OH, AH! AH!
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D HI A WOMAN LIKE THAT, OLIVER.
A REAL MAN
WOULD NEVER DO THAT.
NOW SHE'S DEFINITELY
GONNA LEAVE.
AY, AY.
HEY, WATCH IT!
WATCH-- I'M A BAD MAN.
COME ON, BRING IT,
BRING IT, BRING IT.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
UH!
GOOD MORNING.
HELLO?
ANYBODY HOME?
ANYBODY HOME?
NO, JUST OLLIE.
NOBODY HOME.
MORNING, MRS. BURNS,
HOW ARE YA?
HOO, HOO.
WHOA, WHOA.
HEY, OLLIE.
OLLIE?
LILA.
LILA.
WHATEVER.
LILA.
WHAT'S UP, OLIVER?
CHECK IT OUT.
TESORO'S BEEN BUSY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I LIKE IT.
IT'S PRETTY SWEET, HUH?
HE WAS UP ALL NIGHT,
OUT TAGGING TRAINS.
DO YOU THINK IT'S GOOD?
FUCK YOUR
IMAGINARY FRIEND.
WHAT'S THE--
YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?
KICK HIS ASS.
YO MAMA, YO MAMA, YO MAMA.
DON'T FUCK
WITH TESORO, MAN.
HE'S NOT REAL.
OH, SHIT.
GET OFF ME, FAT ASS.
OOH!
HOW'S THE POETRY GOING,
FAG BOY?
YOUR MOM SEEMED TO LIKE IT.
MILD.
WHATEVER.
SHIT.
LET'S GO.
YO, WAIT UP.
I GOTTA GET MY NOTEBOOK,
YOU ASSHOLES.
HOLD UP.
"ODYSSEUS MUST HAVE FEE AND HANDS LIKE THIS BY NOW.
HARDSHIP CAN AGE A PERSON
OVERNIGHT.
YOUR MAMA'S...
WITH THAT NAME--"
NICK, FOCUS.
"AT THAT NAME, THE OLD RETAINER
BURIED HER FACE AND BOTH HANDS,
"BURST INTO TEARS,
WAILED OUT IN GRIEF,
'OH, MY CHILD.'"
OKAY, GENTLEMEN,
SOON CARNAGE.
I'M LATE FOR HOOPS PRACTICE.
MR. PARSNAN WILL BE IN HERE
IN FIVE MINUTES.
BEHAVE FOR ONCE, HUH?
JUST RELAX,
THANK YOU.
YAH!
YAH!
AH!
YAH!
YAH!
YAH!
SOMEONE'S COMING.
CHRIST ALMIGHTY.
WHO DID THIS?
OH, JESUS CHRIST, OKAY.
WHO DID THIS?!
SOMEONE'S PISSED.
YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY.
ALL RIGHT, ALL IN.
YOU ARE MY ANTS.
YO, NICK,
WANT SOME CHIPS?
DUDE, DON'T MAKE I LOOK OBVIOUS.
DUDE, CLOSE THE BAG.
LET'S JUST GET A FUCKING 40
OR SOMETHING.
WHAT'S UP,
YOU LITTLE SMACKS?
YO, VAL, GIVE ME SOME MONEY,
I NEED A YODEL.
JESUS CHRIST.
GET OFF OF ME, BILLY.
YO, YODEL-AY-HEE-HO.
COME ON, GUYS, I GOTTA GE ME SOME KILL JUICE,
'CAUSE THIS
CHINESE HOOK GAVE ME CRABS.
MOM GAVE US OUR ALLOWANCE
YESTERDAY, BRO, SO COME ON.
ALL I WAN IS A YODEL-AY-FUCKIN'-HO.
BULLSHIT,
YOU BANGED A HOOKER.
WITH MY EIGHT-INCH BAT.
YOU PROBABLY GO EIGHT INCHES, EH?
EH? YOU DON'T BELIEVE--
YOU WANNA SEE IT?
YO LONG, THESE BOYS
WANNA SEE MY DONG.
BILLY, DON'T DO IT.
WHY DON'T YOU
BEHAVE YOURSELF?
LONG-LONG, I NEED ME
SOME EATS, MAN.
YEAH, I'M SURE YOU DO.
THAT'S RIGHT,
YOU LITTLE HEBREWS.
COME ON, GIVE ME SOME--
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW
TO BEHAVE YOURSELF--
I JUST WANT A YODEL, MAN,
COME ON, COME ON.
YO, CALM THE FUCK DOWN,
DUCK SAUCE.
IF YOU DON'T BEHAVE YOURSELF,
YOU STAY OUT OF MY STORE.
WHAT A LOSER.
SON-OF-A-BITCH.
MY ONLY PIECE OF ADVICE FOR YOU
TWERPS IS START SMOKING HEAVILY.
YO, CHILL OUT!
HEY, GET SOME SMOKES.
HURRY UP.
I GOT THIS.
HEY, HOW MUCH
FOR THIS YODEL?
FIFTY-FIVE CENTS.
COOL.
THANKS, LONG.
GIVE THESE
TO YOUR FAGGOT BROTHER.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE
AND LIGHT UP
ONE OF THOSE FUCKERS.
YOU KIDS,
BEHAVE YOURSELVES.
ALL RIGHT.
VAL, IS IT TRUE
YOU CAN SUCK YOUR OWN DICK?
NO.
YEAH.
BUT IT'S NOT BECAUSE
I HAVE A BIG DICK,
IT'S BECAUSE
I HAVE A FLEXIBLE BACK.
OH, MY GOD.
BULLSHIT.
YOU REALLY CAN
BLOW YOURSELF?
YEAH, I JERK OFF TILL
I'M ABOUT TO CUM,
AND THEN I STICK I IN MY MOUTH AND I FINISH.
DO IT, DO IT, DO IT.
NO FUCKING WAY.
DO IT!
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU.
WAS IT--
I GOT FUCKING SKILLS.
DOESN'T THIS MAKE HIM GAY?
I MEAN HE SWALLOWS CUM,
HE'S GAY.
I DON'T THINK SO.
YOU'RE FUCKING GAY.
YOU'RE NOT ALWAYS
AT MY HOUSE.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO.
OH, MILD.
I'M KIDDING, I'M KIDDING,
I'M KIDDING.
I SEE THE WAY
YOU LOOK AT ME.
YEAH, IT'S-- I MEAN,
I DON'T RETURN IT, BUT STILL.
I WANT YOU SO BAD.
AND THINKS OF ME,
THOUGH, EVERY NIGHT.
OH, HE WISHES.
SORRY, I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS
A GAY MAN 'CAUSE SHE KISSES YOU,
AND YOU HAVE CUM IN YOUR MOUTH,
AND IT LIKE SWABS,
SO SHE'S GAY?
WHERE THE FUCK
IS HE GOING?
RIGHT SIDE.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT'S IT TASTE LIKE?
SALTY.
OH, MY GOD.
UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
HEY.
AIDA.
OKAY?
AY, YI, YI, YI.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THE SKULLS ARE TOO DARK.
DON'T LOSE MY TIE.
I CAN HEAR YOU, TOO.
YOU KNOW THE CODE.
NO.
YEAH, COME ON,
LET'S HEAR IT.
NO, I'M NO DOING THAT AGAIN.
YES, YES,
YOU LOVE IT.
FINE, OH, GOD,
I'M DOING IT.
OKAY, OLIVER NICHOLAS
IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE,
AND I CAN'T HELP IT.
EVEN IF I TRIED AND TRIED,
I CAN NEVER HELP IT.
NOW, LET ME IN, SCHMUCK.
HI, WITCH.
KIMO SAID YOU HAD
A GIRL UP HERE.
KIMO?
WHERE'S YOUR MOMMY?
THERE ARE NO MOMMIES HERE.
I WANNA SAY HI.
SHE'S NOT HOME.
YOU STILL DIDN' PUT IN A FRAME.
I'LL DO IT.
I'LL DO IT.
I'M GETTING BRACES.
YOU STILL WANNA KISS ME
WHEN I HAVE BRACES?
I DON'T KNOW,
IT DEPENDS.
ON WHAT?
ON WHETHER YOU LOOK LIKE
A MONSTER IN THAT.
ERGH, GIVE ME THAT BRA.
OLIVER, YOU'RE A HORRIBLE
PERSON, YOU KNOW THAT?
YES.
HI, RATONCITOS.
HI, MRS. NICHOLAS.
HI, LILA.
TELL ME,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THEY'RE SKULLS.
MM-HMM.
BEAUTIFUL, MM?
I GUESS SO, YEAH.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHEN DID YOU START SMOKING?
I DON'T KNOW,
A YEAR AGO.
YOU JUST LOOK--
SEXY?
SILLY.
THANKS.
I DON'T THINK HE SHOULD BE
SMOKING EITHER.
SO, YOU'RE GONNA BUG ME
WITH THE SMOKE NOW, HUH?
YEAH, SURE.
LILA AND I ARE GONNA
FOOL AROUND A LITTLE BIT.
OH, OH.
YES, NOW GET OUT,
CIAO.
OKAY, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
WE DON'T--
WE DON'T FOOL AROUND.
YES, WE DO, WE DO I ALL THE TIME, AND YOU LOVE IT.
OKAY, WE'VE ONLY BEEN
TO FIRST BASE.
OH, YOU LOVE IT.
OKAY, SHUT UP.
WE'VE ONLY BEEN
TO FIRST BASE.
SECOND.
OKAY, KIND OF.
OH, WAIT, MOM.
SERIOUSLY, DON'T TELL
AIDA I SMOKE.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
I'M YOUR MOTHER.
YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED
THAT I KNOW.
I'M SERIOUS.
I'M SERIOUS, TOO.
ALL RIGHT,
NOW GET OUT.
LILA.
BYE.
MOM, GET OUT.
LET'S GET BACK TO BUSINESS.
OOH!
I WANNA SLAP YOU.
OH, COME ON,
GET OVER HERE, LILA.
I HATE YOU.
MOM?
MOM!
WHAT'S GOING ON?
ARE YOU OKAY?
THERE'S SOMETHING
WRONG WITH ME.
WHAT IS IT?
TELL ME.
I DON'T THINK
I CAN TELL YOU.
YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING.
NOT THIS.
COME ON, TELL ME.
WHAT IS IT?
WHEN I MASTURBATE,
I GET A MIGRAINE
RIGHT BEFORE THE ORGASM.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YES, YOU'RE SERIOUS.
OKAY.
WILL YOU CALL DR. ROOT,
AND ASK HIM
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
REALLY?
DO YOU WANT ME
TO CALL THE DOCTOR?
OLLIE?
YEAH, I'M COMING.
HI, DR. ROOT,
THIS IS LUNA NICHOLAS.
I'M CALLING BECAUSE OLIVER'S
HAVING A PROBLEM.
OH, WHAT IS IT?
WELL, IT'S KIND OF
A BOY PROBLEM.
WHEN-- WHEN HE MASTURBATES,
HE GETS A MIGRAINE
BEFORE HE REACHES ORGASM.
OH.
HOW OLD IS HE?
HE JUST TURNED 13.
OH, LET ME THINK.
I THINK YOU SHOULD
TELL HIM TO BREATHE.
HE'S A LITTLE TOO YOUNG
TO BE DOING THAT.
YEAH, I WILL TELL HIM.
OKAY, THANK YOU,
DR. ROOT.
WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME.
BYE-BYE.
TELL KIMO I'M NOT SELLING HIM
ANY MORE CRAWLERS.
VERONICA, YOU WANT ME
OUT OF A JOB?
YOU TELL HIM
I WANNA GO FISHING.
SURE.
SEE YOU SOON, VERONICA.
VERONICA WANTS
TO GO FISHING.
YEAH RIGHT.
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
AIDA GAVE ME A PERFUME.
SHE THINKS I SHOULD
START SMELLING LIKE A WOMAN
AND NOT LIKE A LAB RAT.
SO, YOU HAD
TO WEAR IT IN HERE?
CONCENTRATE.
I AM.
VERY GOOD.
HOW WAS YOUR DATE
WITH FRANCISCO?
IT WAS OKAY.
I'M SINGLE, YOU KNOW?
I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE
SOME FUN, TOO.
HOW FAR DID YOU GO?
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS,
YOU RAT.
OH, SO NO SEX?
NO, I'M NOT SURE
IF I LIKE HIM YET.
SO, LIKE WHAT, THIRD BASE?
WE JUST KISSED
A LITTLE BIT.
YOU SHOULD NEVER DO IT WITH HIM
UNLESS YOU REALLY LIKE HIM.
YEAH, I KNOW.
I TAUGHT YOU THAT.
NO, I TAUGHT YOU THAT.
WHERE ARE YOUR FRIENDS.
EVERYONE'S AWAY
FOR THE WEEKEND.
IS THIS TOO DARK?
NO, THAT LOOKS GOOD.
YOU WANNA HAVE LUNCH?
NO, I'M GOING TO GO PLAY TENNIS
WITH DAD AT THE PARK.
BUT IT'S COLD.
GOODBYE, LUNA.
WHAT ARE YOU MAKING, SIS?
ZUCCHINI SOUP.
PROBABLY GOING TO END UP
SUPPORTING YOUR ASS.
I WOULDN'T MIND SPENDING
YOUR MONEY, SIS.
HE GOES BACK UP
ONE MORE TIME.
HE CAN DO IT.
HE CAN DO IT.
HE MAKES-- UH!
WHOO!
DID, LIKE, CHRIS SAY
ANYTHING TO YOU?
I DON'T KNOW,
WHAT DID HE SAY TO YOU?
WELL, I WASN'T IN THE ROOM
OR ELSE I WOULD'VE COME OVER.
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE.
I WENT TO THE PARTY,
AND I WALKED IN,
AND I DIDN'T WANT TO LIKE
GO OVER TO HIM, YOU KNOW,
SO... YEAH.
NO, I HAD-- GET OFF!
OH, MY GOSH,
MY BROTHER--
STOP!
GET OFF.
NO, I'M SORRY,
IT'S-- STOP.
I'M GOING TO HURT YOU.
WHO'S THAT,
YOUR BOYFRIEND?
NO. SHH!
WHAT?
YEAH, SO I WENT AND--
MOLLY-- STOP!
GREAT, I LOST HER.
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.
GET OUT OF HERE, OLIVER!
TWELVE, THIRTEEN.
HEY, OLLIE.
YOU WANNA HEAR WHAT I WROTE
ON YOUR FIRST BIRTHDAY?
ALL RIGHT.
I WANNA WATCH THE "LOVE BOAT."
THE OTHER TV IS SHIT.
ARE YOU GUYS TALKING
ABOUT MASTURBATION
OR DEATH OR SOMETHING?
IT REALLY IS GROSS,
YOU KNOW.
AIDA!
AIDA!
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
NOTHING, LUNA.
JUST LEAVE US ALONG, OKAY?
GO.
GRACIAS.
HEY.
SHE HAD A STROKE.
SHE'LL BE IN THE HOSPITAL
FOR A FEW WEEKS,
BUT SHE WILL BE FINE.
I KNOW.
SHE WILL BE FINE.
I KNOW.
DON'T VISIT HER.
SHE SAYS SHE DOESN' WANT YOU TO SEE HER
LIKE THAT IN THE HOSPITAL.
OLIVER.
E-O-L-I-V-I-A!
I STOLE I FROM THE DEUTSCH.
MY BROTHER'S COCAINE.
AH!
AIDA?
LUCKY GIRL, HUH?
GET HER SOME ROSES.
RED ROSES.
SOMETHING WHITE.
NO, YOU WANT THE RED.
YOU WANNA SEND HER A MESSAGE.
HERE.
COME ON.
WRITE SOMETHING SWEET.
THESE ARE THE FINEST FLOWERS
IN THE CITY.
YOU'RE GONNA GE A BIG, SWEET KISS.
OF COURSE, ALL THE TIME.
GOOD, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.
I-- I'LL SEE
YOU LATER.
ALL RIGHT.
HEY, I'M FREEZING.
LET'S GE HOT CHOCOLATE.
OKAY, SO TODAY
IN SCHOOL...
HI, OLLIE.
WOULD YOU BE SAD
IF I DIED?
OF COURSE NOT.
I WOULDN'T LIKE I IF YOU WERE TOO SAD.
A LITTLE,
BUT NOT TOO MUCH.
WHAT'LL YOU KIDS HAVE?
KIDS?
HOT CHOCOLATE, PLEASE.
I'LL HAVE AN IRISH COFFEE.
SURE, YOU WILL.
YOU HAVE SOMETHING
AGAINST THE IRISH?
I'M IRISH.
TWO HOT CHOCOLATES.
WHY HAVEN'T WE
HAD SEX YET?
YOU SHOULD COME OVER
TO VAL'S LATE TONIGHT.
WE'RE GONNA GE ALL DRUGGED UP AND DO IT.
I'M NOT READY.
YOU SHOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING
WHEN YOU'RE READY.
LIFE HAPPENS
WHEN YOU'RE NOT READY.
THIS WILL BE TRAINING
FOR LIFE.
LIFE TRAINING.
YOU'RE BEING STRANGE.
WE CAN ACTUALLY
FALL IN LOVE.
GOING TO DIE SOON.
I'M READY FOR THAT.
IT'S GOING
TO BE BEAUTIFUL.
I MEAN, DON'T YOU JUS WANNA FUCK SOMETIMES?
BYE.
YOUR MOM'S PROBABLY
PRETTY GOOD LOOKING, EH?
SMILE.
OLIVER, ARE YOU OKAY?
THAT WAS SO WEIRD.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
CALL ME.
OKAY, SKIP.
WHAT'S UP, LADIES!
WHOO!
SO THE FUCKING KING
OF ALL OF THIS.
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
BANZAI!
WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE GAME?
THUMPER!
HOW DO WE PLAY?
ALL THE WAY!
WHY DO WE PLAY IT?
TO GET FUCKED UP!
SHIT TASTE GOOD.
KING OF BEERS.
I THINK I'M THE ONLY
NON-VIRGIN HERE.
YOU'RE DEFINITELY
A VIRGIN.
YOU KNOW, I JUST DON' KNOW WHERE "HEY" FITS
VERBIAGE
FOR "ASSHOLES"?
RIGHT, NICK, LIKE YOU'VE
EVER FUCKED ANYONE.
ONLY YOUR FUCKING MOM.
HEY!
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
FUCKING HILARIOUS.
I'M NOT A VIRGIN.
YOU'RE NOT?
WHOA!
I LOST IT THIS SUMMER.
HM.
HOLY SHIT.
WHAT'S THE NAME
OF THE GAME?
THUMPER!
HOW DO WE PLAY?
ALL THE WAY!
WHY DO WE PLAY?
TO GET FUCKED UP!
HIP CHECK.
OH, FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!
FUCK YOU!
MOTHERFUCKER!
HEY, VAL, DO YOU
AND YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND
EVER, LIKE,
BLOW EACH OTHER?
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
TESTY? TESTICLE?
TESORO'S NOT IMAGINARY.
HE'S REAL, DIPSHIT.
WHATEVER.
"A TREATISE
OF RED AND GREEN..."
OH, JESUS, AGAIN
WITH THE POETRY.
"AND EVERYTHING
IS RED FORM.
AND BLUEBIRDS
ARE PULLING."
BLUEBIRDS ARE PULLING
ALL RIGHT.
SHOW US YOUR SAMURAI.
ALL RIGHT LET ME SEE.
BORN TO BE
A FUCKING NINJA.
IS IT UPSIDE DOWN?
YES.
SHUT UP!
"AND YOUR BREATH
IS KIND OF MELTING."
IT'S KIND OF WEIRD, THOUGH,
HOW YOU ALL WANNA, LIKE,
HAVE SEX WITH ME.
LIKE, EVERY GIRL
IN THIS ROOM.
PROBABLY OLIVER, TOO.
I'M A FUCKING
NINJA MASTER.
HOW'D I GET SO GOOD
AT THIS, ANYWAY?
I'M SO FUCKING COOL.
BORN TO BE
A FUCKING NINJA.
I WAS BORN TO BE
A SAMURAI.
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU DOING?
I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE WERE JUST KISSING.
ARE WE LEZZIES NOW?
MM-HMM.
YEAH, YOU ARE.
SHUT UP!
FUCK BOTH OF YOU,
HONESTLY.
FUCK YOU.
HEY, VAL, WHY DON'T YOU READ
YOUR POETRY TO ALL OF US?
COME ON, I'D REALLY
LIKE TO HEAR SOME.
"ABOVE A DOCK
IN THE MIDDLE OF MAINE--"
CAN YOU SPEAK UP?
SUCH A DICK.
"THERE'S SOMETHING
IVORY INSIDE--
WHAT?
I CAN'T HEAR
YOUR POETRY.
FUCKING IDIOT.
NICK, YOU'RE
SUCH A CHILD.
ALL RIGHT.
WHOA!
MY GOD!
JUST CHILL.
SERIOUSLY, CHILL OUT.
WHOOPS!
GET OFF! OW!
DO YOU WRITE
POETRY TOO, OLIVER?
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU DOING?
NO, COME SIT ON ME.
FOR SOME REASON
I THOUGHT YOU WOULD.
STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE.
YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE.
FUCK YOU.
YOU'RE BOTH ASSHOLES.
TIME FOR SOME COKE.
YOU WANT SOME?
NO.
IT'S REALLY GOOD.
IS THAT FUCKING BLOW?
OH!
BITCH!
FUCK YOU.
JUST MAKES YOU LOOK
SO BAD-ASS.
VAL, WHAT ARE YOU,
FUCKING AL PACINO?
SCARFACE? NO.
WHERE THE FUCK
DID HE GET THAT?
STOLE IT FROM MY BRO.
WONDER IF I CAN DO COKE
AND NUNCHUCKS AT THE SAME TIME?
LET'S SEE
THE SAMURAI DO IT.
CAREFUL THERE, MAN.
WHAT'S TESORO DOING?
HE'S SKATEBOARDING
DOWN THERE.
HE'S GOT A PINK MOHAWK.
CAN YOU SEE HIM?
YOU ALL RIGHT?
NOW FOR THE MOMEN OF TRUTH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
AM I DOING THIS
ALL ALONE?
OH!
DAISY, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE
FOOLING AROUND WITH NICK.
DOES HE EVEN HAVE A PENIS?
VAL, WHY DON'T YOU GO
DRAW A DICK OR BLOW TESTE
OR TESORO, WHATEVER
THE FUCK HIS NAME IS.
DOES NICK HAVE A VAGINA?
YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND
PROBABLY HAS A VAGINA.
WHOO, NUNCHUCKS!
SUCH A BONEY...
SO, YOU CAN TAKE
MY SHIRT OFF,
BUT I CAN'T TAKE
YOUR SHIRT OFF?
MM-HMM.
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
IMAGINE HOW
THAT WOULD FEEL.
GET US SOME ALCOHOL.
HEY, BABY.
MM.
HEY, OLIVER.
MM.
COME ON, DAISY,
SHE'S ASLEEP,
SHE'S NOT GONNA
GIVE A SHIT, COME ON.
NO, NO, NOT LIKE THAT.
LIKE THIS, THIS.
NO, IT'S TOO BIG.
OLIVER, WHERE
THE FUCK ARE YOU?
ARE YOU FUCKING
SHITTING AGAIN?
JESUS CHRIST.
I JUST WEN TO THIRD WITH DAISY.
MY GOD,
SHE'S SO DIRTY.
IT WAS A BIG MOMEN FOR ME.
ANABEL'S FIRST, "O,"
COURTESY OF MOI.
AND SHE
PROBABLY HAD A GASM.
SHE WAS FAKING.
SHE WAS PROBABLY FAKING.
OKAY.
OKAY.
GUESS WHAT I JUST DID?
WHAT?
THIRD BASE WITH DAISY,
CUM GUZZLER.
MM.
IT'S ABOUT TIME,
CUM GUZZLER.
YOUR MOM'S
A FUCKING CUM GUZZLER.
SHE IS, ACTUALLY.
SHE'S NEXT.
UH, VAL, DID YOU
TAKE MY HA-HA?
IS SAID DID YOU
PURLOIN MY YAYO?
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU DOING?
SHUT UP, FAGGOT BOY.
WHAT THE FUCK?
I DIDN'T TAKE
ANY SHIT, BILLY.
OH, THIS IS
YOUR LITTLE GIRLFRIEND.
HI.
BILLY, STOP.
DON'T BE ALARMED,
EVERYBODY.
HEY, VAL,
GO SIT DOWN FOR A SEC.
BILLY, IT'S ON MY DESK.
SIT DOWN.
I SAID SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.
IT'S ON MY DESK.
I KNOW WHERE IT IS.
SO WHAT THE FUCK?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
BILLY, STOP.
WHAT THE FUCK, BILLY?!
BILLY!
FUCK!
BYE-BYE, LADIES.
THAT'S RIGHT, I'M PISSING
ON YOU, FUCK DOLL.
WHAT THE FUCK'S WRONG
WITH YOU, ASSHOLE?
FUCK YOU!
YOU'RE A FUCKING FAG!
FUCK OFF.
FUCK YOU, BILLY!
FAGGOT.
OLIVER, GE THE FUCK OUT, MAN.
GET THE FUCK OUT,
OLIVER!
HEY, HOW'S
IT GOING, OLLI?
I WAS TALKING
TO LILA.
SHE WAS
ASKING ABOUT YOU.
JESUS CHRIST, ADRIANA.
SO INCONSIDERATE!
SLAMMING DOORS IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE NIGHT?
I HAVE JUS GOTTEN TO SLEEP!
FUCK YOU!
I WANNA LIVE WITH DAD!
I HATE YOU!
FUCK YOU!
WHY DO YOU
HATE ME SO MUCH?
WHAT DID I EVER
DO TO YOU?
LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!
WELL, FUCK YOU TOO!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OLIVER.
SHH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OLIVER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M SLEEPING.
I'M MOVING IN WITH DAD.
MOM IS CRAZY.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
OH, YEAH?
YOU JUST WATCH ME.
WATCH ME.
WHY DO YOU STEAL
HER HAIRBRUSH EVERY MORNING?
OF COURSE YOU TAKE HER SIDE.
THE FAVORITE.
ONE DAY I'M GONNA
HAVE HER COMMITTED.
JUST GO BACK TO BED.
EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE
IN THE MORNING.
NO, IT'S TOO LATE.
I'M LEAVING.
AND, YOU, UH, BETTER BE CAREFUL,
OR ELSE YOU'LL END UP LIKE HER.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WORE
LEATHER PANTS TO PARENTS' DAY.
SO WHAT IF I'M WEARING
LEATHER PANTS?
YOU'RE GONNA BE HAPPY ONE DAY
THAT YOU HAVE A COOL MOM.
JESUS.
I HOPE YOU DON' END UP A BANKER.
AND STOP CALLING ME
"JOAN JETT"
IN FRONT OF
THE OTHER PARENTS.
IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY.
I HAVE CANCER.
CHRISTMAS IS
IN A FEW WEEKS,
YOU CAN'T HAVE CANCER.
RIGHT, I FORGOT.
NO CANCER ON THE HOLIDAYS.
I SAW AIDA.
YOU KNOW THAT SHE'S NO FEELING VERY WELL LATELY,
AND, UH--
WHAT--
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M CHOKING.
YOU'RE NOT, SIT DOWN.
I'M SERIOUS.
AND HOW THE HELL
WOULD YOU KNOW?
YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE,
JUST CALM DOWN.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE YELLING
AT ME WHEN I'M CHOKING.
I'M NOT-- OKAY.
YOU'RE NOT CHOKING.
YOU'RE MAKING A SCENE.
YOU'RE MAKING A SCENE.
I'M CHOKING.
I NEED A DOCTOR.
OKAY, LET'S GO.
GOD DAMN CHEESECAKE.
OKAY, GREAT, WHY DON' YOU SIT THERE?
LET ME TALK
TO YOUR MOM, OKAY?
I'M SORRY, MRS. NICHOLAS,
I CAN'T TAKE HIM
IN FRONT OF
MY OTHER PATIENTS
WHEN THERE IS NO
VISIBLE OBSTRUCTION.
BUT IF MY SON SAYS--
IT-- IT MUST'VE GONE DOWN.
WELL, GOOD.
GOOD, ALL RIGHT, UM,
I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.
ADRIANA, DINNER'S READY.
FOR ONCE WE'RE GONNA
HAVE A FAMILY MEAL.
ADRIANA!
STOP.
SIT DOWN.
OKAY.
HELLO?
DOES SHE REALLY
EXPECT US TO EAT THIS?
ADRIANA,
IT'S YOUR FATHER.
HEY, DAD.
HI, SWEETIE,
WHAT WAS THAT MESSAGE?
I-- I JUST CAN' DO IT, ANYMORE.
I CAN'T...
I CAN'T TAKE
MOM, AND...
HER AND OLIVER
TOGETHER, AND...
YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO--
YEAH, BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE HERE
EVERY DAY WITH HER
AND OLIVER
AND THE TWO OF THEM, AND--
CAN'T I JUS COME LIVE WITH YOU?
ADRIANA, YOU KNOW
THAT'S NOT PRACTICAL.
I'M TRAVELING
ALL THE TIME FOR WORK.
YOU CAN'T--
YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW
TO LIVE WITH YOUR MOM.
YOU HAVE TO.
I MEAN, YOU'RE NOT--
YOU'RE NO A LITTLE KID ANYMORE.
OKAY, SWEETIE, LISTEN,
I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.
I'M IN JAPAN.
I'LL TALK TO YOU
WHEN I GET BACK, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT,
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
LOTS OF LOVE, BYE.
BYE.
LET'S EAT.
HELLO?
YES, MRS. NICHOLAS,
THIS IS DR. ROOT AGAIN.
I'VE BEEN THINKING,
HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED
HAVING OLIVER SEE
A PSYCHIATRIST?
I MEAN, WITH
HIS RECENT BEHAVIOR,
IT MIGHT BENEFIT HIM
HAVING SOMEONE TO TALK TO.
THANK YOU.
I THINK I KNOW MY OWN SON.
IF THERE'S ANYONE
HE CAN TALK TO, IT'S ME.
BUT THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN.
THANK YOU.
FUCK YOU.
SO, I'M PRETTY SURE
I CAN BANG THAT MALL CHICK.
SHE WAS ALL OVER ME.
I WAS PRACTICALLY IN,
AND THEN YOUR ASSHOLE
BROTHER SHOWED UP.
I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK
IS WRONG WITH HIM, ANYWAY?
WE SHOULD EXECUTE
THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH.
NICK, COOL IT.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUS GO SUCK HIS DICK INSTEAD.
THAT MIGHT HELP.
HE ACTUALLY PISSED ON YOU,
AND YOU'RE JUST GONNA
TAKE HIS BULLSHIT NOW?
ARE YOU REALLY THAT MAD THA I GET MORE ACTION THAN YOU?
OKAY, YOU DON'T GET MORE
FUCKING ACTION THAN ME.
DAISY SAID MAKING OUT WITH YOU
WAS LIKE KISSING A BAG OF FISH.
YO, YOU REALLY THINK I GIVE
A FUCK WHAT DAISY SAYS?
THAT GIRL HAS A MOLE ON HER FACE
THE SIZE OF A CADILLAC.
WHATEVER.
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU DRAWING, ANYWAY?
IS THAT YOUR
IMAGINARY FRIEND?
I WAS TALKING TO MY MOM
ABOUT THIS THE OTHER DAY.
SHE ASKED ME IF I HAD
AN IMAGINARY FRIEND
BECAUSE SHE SAID
IT'S A SIGN OF CREATIVITY.
HAVING AN IMAGINARY FRIEND
IS A SIGN OF FAGGOTRY.
SO, OF COURSE,
YOU HAVE ONE, VAL.
FUCK YOU.
GO SUCK A DICK.
HAVE YOU TALKED
TO YOUR MOM ABOUT TESORO?
YEAH, SO FUCKING WHAT.
WHAT'S WRONG, VAL?
TESORO JUST DISAPPEARED.
ARE YOU FUCKING
KIDDING ME?
ARE YOU AN IDIOT?
HONESTLY,
HE'S NOT FUCKING REAL!
WELL, HE'S NO HERE, OKAY?
OKAY, HE'S GONE,
AND I DON'T--
WHAT THE--
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!
YEAH!
YEAH!
OLIVER.
HEY.
HI, LILA.
STILL WANNA KISS ME?
OH, COME ON.
DON'T TELL ME
YOU DON'T NOTICE.
I HAVE TO
GO SOMEWHERE, LILA.
CAN I COME?
YOU LIKE THAT SPENCE GIRL,
DON'T YOU?
ANNABEL?
ANNABEL?
THAT'S VAL'S GIRLFRIEND.
YEAH, WELL,
SHE LIKES YOU.
I HEARD SHE WAS USING VAL
TO GET TO YOU.
I JUST... CAN'T.
WHAT IS IT, OLIVER?
YOU CAN TELL ME.
JUST TALK
TO ME, PLEASE.
I HAVE TO GO, LILA.
I'M SORRY.
HEY.
SHE'S BEEN SLEEPING
ALL DAY.
WHY DON'T YOU
COME BACK TOMORROW?
SO HE KNEW
WHEN HE PASSED THE HARNESS
TO THE MAN NEXT TO HIM,
THAT HE WOULD DIE.
DO YOU WANT TO LIGH A CANDLE FOR AIDA?
SO, YOU SEE,
THE MOST IMAGINATIVE AC IS TO PUT ANOTHER
PERSON BEFORE YOU,
TO GIVE LOVE WITHOU EXPECTING TO RECEIVE IT.
AND IN THIS
SELF-CENTERED WORLD,
IT'S IMPORTANT TO GIVE
AND TO SHARE.
THAT'S WHA OUR FATHER DID,
AND THAT IS OUR DUTY.
THAT IS THE MEANING
OF LIFE.
SO, WHEN YOU ALL
GO HOME TODAY
AND YOU THINK
ABOUT THIS STORY,
I WANT YOU ALL
TO THINK OF EACH OTHER
AS A FAMILY,
BECAUSE THAT'S
PRECISELY WHAT WE ARE.
IF THERE'S ONE THING
THAT YOU LEAVE HERE WITH TODAY,
IT'S THAT.
PIECE OF SHIT.
IF IT WASN'T FOR
THIS SHITTY MACHINE,
RIGHT, YOU'RE SO GOOD
AT THIS GAME.
FUCK YOU, DAISY.
FUCK YOU.
WHY?
I DON'T LIKE YOU
ANYMORE.
YOU DON'T WANNA BE
MY GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE?
GIVE ME A SLICE.
ANNABEL HAS
A CRUSH ON YOU.
SHE'S BREAKING UP
WITH VAL RIGHT NOW.
SO, THAT'S IT?
I'M SORRY.
VAL, WHAT'S UP?
FUCK THIS,
I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.
DUDE.
I'M HAVING A PARTY
FRIDAY NIGHT.
WANNA COME?
OLIVER?
I BROKE UP WITH VAL.
DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK
IS WRONG WITH YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
LEAVE THEM ALONE.
THEY LIKE EACH OTHER.
GET THE FUCK
AWAY FROM ME.
NO, YOU GET THE FUCK
AWAY FROM THEM.
SHUT UP!
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?
FUCK THIS.
AIDA.
HMM?
HELLO, ANYBODY HOME?
HELLO?
ANY OF YOU GUYS
SEEN MY MAKEUP?
FUCK, I CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE,
AND I'M GONNA BE SO LATE.
ADRIANA.
GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
YOU GUYS ARE SO GROSS.
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
AAH!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
OLIVER, STOP!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
OLIVER!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
GET OFF!
OLIVER!
HEY, OLLIE,
HOW'S IT GOING?
AND YOU GOT,
UH, TWO COFFEES.
I'LL GIVE YOU
ONE OF THESE.
THAT'S TWO DOLLARS.
ALL RIGHT, I GOTTA
GIVE YOU 50 CENTS.
AND, UH...
DO YOU WAN ANYTHING ELSE WITH THAT?
YOU WANT A PIECE
OF CAKE?
HEY!
YOU LITTLE
SON-OF-A-BITCH.
I'LL GET THA LITTLE BASTARD.
HE COMES IN HERE
ALL THE TIME.
HIM AND HIS FRIENDS.
NOW, COME ON.
WHAT?
COME ON NOW!
WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME?
I'LL BREAK YOUR FACE,
YOU LITTLE PUNK!
PUNK.
... DAVID LETTERMAN.
HELLO?
I'M TELLING YOU,
DAVID LETTERMAN'S
A COMIC GENIUS.
HE'S A FUCKING HICK.
YOU'RE SUCH A DICK.
HEY, OLIVER.
I'M SORRY.
IT'S OKAY.
IS THAT FOR ME?
NO.
GET OFF THE PHONE,
I'M EXPECTING CALLS.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
HAVE SEX WITH HER.
AT LEAST ONE
OF US SHOULD.
I DON'T THINK
TESORO'S GONE.
I MEAN... HE DOESN' HAVE TO BE GONE.
HE'S NOT COMING BACK.
HE'S GONE.
YEAH, BUT, HE DOESN' HAVE TO BE.
I MEAN, EVEN IF
YOU CAN'T SEE HIM,
HE CAN STILL BE WITH US,
LIKE A SHADOW.
YOU SHOULD SEE HIM.
GET OFF THE PHONE,
MINI DOUCHE!
DON'T TALK LIKE THA TO YOUR BROTHER.
I'M MAN-TRAINING HIM.
I'M LOOKING
AT HIM RIGHT NOW, VAL.
HE'S WEARING
A FUNNY TUX.
ONE OF THOSE MEXICAN ONES
WITH FRILLS.
CAN YOU SEE HIM?
VAL, GET OFF
THE FUCKING PHONE!
I'M SERIOUS!
HE'S HAVING FUN
AND LAUGHING.
ARE YOU FUCKING NOT LISTENING
TO ME, YOU LITTLE FUCK!
HE'S OKAY, VAL.
HE WANTS ME
TO TELL YOU HE'S OKAY.
CAN YOU SEE HIM, VAL?
CAN YOU SEE HIM?
CAN YOU SEE HIM?
SURE, OLIVER, I SEE HIM.
THERE YOU ARE.
... CHRISTMAS BLOWOUT LIST.
SEE CRAZY EDDIE NOW.
HIS PRICES
ARE INSANE!
I THINK I LOVE YOU.
I'M A VIRGIN.
I-- I WANT YOU, THOUGH.
I'M-- I'M READY.
NO TIP TODAY.
YOU KNOW YOU JUS CAUGHT ME OFF BALANCE.
"THINGS I LOVED ABOUT AIDA.
"HER WRINKLES
THAT WERE NEVER MEAN.
"THE WAY SHE TYPED HER LETTERS
HOME ON BLUE STATIONERY.
"THAT I NEVER HEARD HER YELL,
NOT EVEN WHEN I DESERVED IT.
"HER LOVE FOR
SPANISH SOAP-OPERAS.
THE WAY SHE SMELLED LIKE
HAIRSPRAY AND GREEN SOAP."
YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT US
TO COME WITH YOU?
NO, HE WANTS TO GO ALONE.
THANKS, MOM.
THE AIRLINE WILL
ASK YOU FOR THIS.
TAKE CARE.
"NIGHT HAS SETTLED
INTO ITS DEATH MASK.
"WHERE THE STARS
ARE FORBIDDEN
AND THE PRINCES HANGED."
"NO ONE WAS EVER HURT.
OLIVER, YOU FINISH
THE POEM."
"NIGHT HAS SETTLED
INTO ITS DEATH MASK.
"WHERE THE STARS
ARE FORBIDDEN
"AND THE PRINCES HANGED.
NO ONE WAS EVER HUR BY BEING LOVED TOO MUCH."
WHAT ARE YOU
LOOKING AT?
READY?
YEAH, I'M READY...
ARRIBA, ARRIBA.
LEVANTATE.
DESPIERTA.
LEVANTESE.
ARRIBA, NIO.
AQUI, AQUI!
UP!
CUCKOO!
CUCKOO!
HOLD ON, WOMAN.
HELLO, MAMA.
YOU SEE WE ARE
EXACTLY THE SAME.
WE EVEN GO TO THE BATHROOM
AT THE SAME TIME.
OKAY, CLOSE THE DOOR,
I GOTTA GO.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
PASS ME SOME TOILET PAPER.
FART FACE,
HERE YOU GO.
REACH FOR IT.
COME ON.
YOU CAN DO IT.
REACH WITH YOUR TINY,
LITTLE LADY ARMS.
YOU LITTLE FUCKER.
CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR.
LATER LOSER.
AND TELL ADRIANA
NOT TO TAKE MY BRUSH.
DID YOU HEAR ME?
TELL ADRIANA NO TO TAKE MY HAIRBRUSH.
I'VE ORDERED DOZENS
OF BRUSHES,
AND SHE TAKES MINE
EVERY SINGLE MORNING.
THIS IS MY TOOTHPASTE.
MOM, I'M FUCKING NAKED.
FINE, JUST TELL HER.
ALL RIGHT,
GET OUT, WOMAN.
I'M GOING BACK TO SLEEP.
MOM, YOU TOOK THE TOOTHPASTE,
SERIOUSLY?
HAVE YOU SEEN MY MAKEUP?
NO.
GET OUT OF HERE.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
MOVE!
AIDA?
STOP,
YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP MOM.
OH, YOUR LITTLE,
PRECIOUS POOR, LITTLE MOMMY.
WILL YOU GET OFF MY MIRROR,
PLEASE?
LITTLE MAMA'S BOY.
THANK YOU.
AIDA, DONDE ESTA
MI MAQUILLAJE?
SHUT UP!
DON'T TAKE HER BRUSH.
BIG WHOOP,
I DON'T CARE
IF THAT LOSER'S
GOING TO BE THERE.
HE LOOKS LIKE A TATER TOT.
YEAH, A SHORT,
OVER-TAN POTATO HEAD.
AH, SHE FOUND IT.
THANK YOU.
WHAT?
YEAH, NO, I TOLD YOU
I'D MEET YOU AT THE CORNER.
NO, NO, NO.
ADRIANA, ADRIANA.
I NEED IT.
JESUS CHRIST,
GIVE ME THE DAMN BRUSH.
FINE, I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU.
JUST LET ME FINISH
BRUSHING MY HAIR.
I MEAN, STOP
BEING SO RIDICULOUS.
IT'S A FUCKING HAIRBRUSH.
JUST GIVE IT TO ME.
STOP!
STOP, MOM, STOP!
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
STOP!
LET GO!
OH, AH! AH!
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D HI A WOMAN LIKE THAT, OLIVER.
A REAL MAN
WOULD NEVER DO THAT.
NOW SHE'S DEFINITELY
GONNA LEAVE.
AY, AY.
HEY, WATCH IT!
WATCH-- I'M A BAD MAN.
COME ON, BRING IT,
BRING IT, BRING IT.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
UH!
GOOD MORNING.
HELLO?
ANYBODY HOME?
ANYBODY HOME?
NO, JUST OLLIE.
NOBODY HOME.
MORNING, MRS. BURNS,
HOW ARE YA?
HOO, HOO.
WHOA, WHOA.
HEY, OLLIE.
OLLIE?
LILA.
LILA.
WHATEVER.
LILA.
WHAT'S UP, OLIVER?
CHECK IT OUT.
TESORO'S BEEN BUSY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I LIKE IT.
IT'S PRETTY SWEET, HUH?
HE WAS UP ALL NIGHT,
OUT TAGGING TRAINS.
DO YOU THINK IT'S GOOD?
FUCK YOUR
IMAGINARY FRIEND.
WHAT'S THE--
YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?
KICK HIS ASS.
YO MAMA, YO MAMA, YO MAMA.
DON'T FUCK
WITH TESORO, MAN.
HE'S NOT REAL.
OH, SHIT.
GET OFF ME, FAT ASS.
OOH!
HOW'S THE POETRY GOING,
FAG BOY?
YOUR MOM SEEMED TO LIKE IT.
MILD.
WHATEVER.
SHIT.
LET'S GO.
YO, WAIT UP.
I GOTTA GET MY NOTEBOOK,
YOU ASSHOLES.
HOLD UP.
"ODYSSEUS MUST HAVE FEE AND HANDS LIKE THIS BY NOW.
HARDSHIP CAN AGE A PERSON
OVERNIGHT.
YOUR MAMA'S...
WITH THAT NAME--"
NICK, FOCUS.
"AT THAT NAME, THE OLD RETAINER
BURIED HER FACE AND BOTH HANDS,
"BURST INTO TEARS,
WAILED OUT IN GRIEF,
'OH, MY CHILD.'"
OKAY, GENTLEMEN,
SOON CARNAGE.
I'M LATE FOR HOOPS PRACTICE.
MR. PARSNAN WILL BE IN HERE
IN FIVE MINUTES.
BEHAVE FOR ONCE, HUH?
JUST RELAX,
THANK YOU.
YAH!
YAH!
AH!
YAH!
YAH!
YAH!
SOMEONE'S COMING.
CHRIST ALMIGHTY.
WHO DID THIS?
OH, JESUS CHRIST, OKAY.
WHO DID THIS?!
SOMEONE'S PISSED.
YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY.
ALL RIGHT, ALL IN.
YOU ARE MY ANTS.
YO, NICK,
WANT SOME CHIPS?
DUDE, DON'T MAKE I LOOK OBVIOUS.
DUDE, CLOSE THE BAG.
LET'S JUST GET A FUCKING 40
OR SOMETHING.
WHAT'S UP,
YOU LITTLE SMACKS?
YO, VAL, GIVE ME SOME MONEY,
I NEED A YODEL.
JESUS CHRIST.
GET OFF OF ME, BILLY.
YO, YODEL-AY-HEE-HO.
COME ON, GUYS, I GOTTA GE ME SOME KILL JUICE,
'CAUSE THIS
CHINESE HOOK GAVE ME CRABS.
MOM GAVE US OUR ALLOWANCE
YESTERDAY, BRO, SO COME ON.
ALL I WAN IS A YODEL-AY-FUCKIN'-HO.
BULLSHIT,
YOU BANGED A HOOKER.
WITH MY EIGHT-INCH BAT.
YOU PROBABLY GO EIGHT INCHES, EH?
EH? YOU DON'T BELIEVE--
YOU WANNA SEE IT?
YO LONG, THESE BOYS
WANNA SEE MY DONG.
BILLY, DON'T DO IT.
WHY DON'T YOU
BEHAVE YOURSELF?
LONG-LONG, I NEED ME
SOME EATS, MAN.
YEAH, I'M SURE YOU DO.
THAT'S RIGHT,
YOU LITTLE HEBREWS.
COME ON, GIVE ME SOME--
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW
TO BEHAVE YOURSELF--
I JUST WANT A YODEL, MAN,
COME ON, COME ON.
YO, CALM THE FUCK DOWN,
DUCK SAUCE.
IF YOU DON'T BEHAVE YOURSELF,
YOU STAY OUT OF MY STORE.
WHAT A LOSER.
SON-OF-A-BITCH.
MY ONLY PIECE OF ADVICE FOR YOU
TWERPS IS START SMOKING HEAVILY.
YO, CHILL OUT!
HEY, GET SOME SMOKES.
HURRY UP.
I GOT THIS.
HEY, HOW MUCH
FOR THIS YODEL?
FIFTY-FIVE CENTS.
COOL.
THANKS, LONG.
GIVE THESE
TO YOUR FAGGOT BROTHER.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE
AND LIGHT UP
ONE OF THOSE FUCKERS.
YOU KIDS,
BEHAVE YOURSELVES.
ALL RIGHT.
VAL, IS IT TRUE
YOU CAN SUCK YOUR OWN DICK?
NO.
YEAH.
BUT IT'S NOT BECAUSE
I HAVE A BIG DICK,
IT'S BECAUSE
I HAVE A FLEXIBLE BACK.
OH, MY GOD.
BULLSHIT.
YOU REALLY CAN
BLOW YOURSELF?
YEAH, I JERK OFF TILL
I'M ABOUT TO CUM,
AND THEN I STICK I IN MY MOUTH AND I FINISH.
DO IT, DO IT, DO IT.
NO FUCKING WAY.
DO IT!
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU.
WAS IT--
I GOT FUCKING SKILLS.
DOESN'T THIS MAKE HIM GAY?
I MEAN HE SWALLOWS CUM,
HE'S GAY.
I DON'T THINK SO.
YOU'RE FUCKING GAY.
YOU'RE NOT ALWAYS
AT MY HOUSE.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO.
OH, MILD.
I'M KIDDING, I'M KIDDING,
I'M KIDDING.
I SEE THE WAY
YOU LOOK AT ME.
YEAH, IT'S-- I MEAN,
I DON'T RETURN IT, BUT STILL.
I WANT YOU SO BAD.
AND THINKS OF ME,
THOUGH, EVERY NIGHT.
OH, HE WISHES.
SORRY, I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS
A GAY MAN 'CAUSE SHE KISSES YOU,
AND YOU HAVE CUM IN YOUR MOUTH,
AND IT LIKE SWABS,
SO SHE'S GAY?
WHERE THE FUCK
IS HE GOING?
RIGHT SIDE.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT'S IT TASTE LIKE?
SALTY.
OH, MY GOD.
UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
HEY.
AIDA.
OKAY?
AY, YI, YI, YI.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THE SKULLS ARE TOO DARK.
DON'T LOSE MY TIE.
I CAN HEAR YOU, TOO.
YOU KNOW THE CODE.
NO.
YEAH, COME ON,
LET'S HEAR IT.
NO, I'M NO DOING THAT AGAIN.
YES, YES,
YOU LOVE IT.
FINE, OH, GOD,
I'M DOING IT.
OKAY, OLIVER NICHOLAS
IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE,
AND I CAN'T HELP IT.
EVEN IF I TRIED AND TRIED,
I CAN NEVER HELP IT.
NOW, LET ME IN, SCHMUCK.
HI, WITCH.
KIMO SAID YOU HAD
A GIRL UP HERE.
KIMO?
WHERE'S YOUR MOMMY?
THERE ARE NO MOMMIES HERE.
I WANNA SAY HI.
SHE'S NOT HOME.
YOU STILL DIDN' PUT IN A FRAME.
I'LL DO IT.
I'LL DO IT.
I'M GETTING BRACES.
YOU STILL WANNA KISS ME
WHEN I HAVE BRACES?
I DON'T KNOW,
IT DEPENDS.
ON WHAT?
ON WHETHER YOU LOOK LIKE
A MONSTER IN THAT.
ERGH, GIVE ME THAT BRA.
OLIVER, YOU'RE A HORRIBLE
PERSON, YOU KNOW THAT?
YES.
HI, RATONCITOS.
HI, MRS. NICHOLAS.
HI, LILA.
TELL ME,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THEY'RE SKULLS.
MM-HMM.
BEAUTIFUL, MM?
I GUESS SO, YEAH.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHEN DID YOU START SMOKING?
I DON'T KNOW,
A YEAR AGO.
YOU JUST LOOK--
SEXY?
SILLY.
THANKS.
I DON'T THINK HE SHOULD BE
SMOKING EITHER.
SO, YOU'RE GONNA BUG ME
WITH THE SMOKE NOW, HUH?
YEAH, SURE.
LILA AND I ARE GONNA
FOOL AROUND A LITTLE BIT.
OH, OH.
YES, NOW GET OUT,
CIAO.
OKAY, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
WE DON'T--
WE DON'T FOOL AROUND.
YES, WE DO, WE DO I ALL THE TIME, AND YOU LOVE IT.
OKAY, WE'VE ONLY BEEN
TO FIRST BASE.
OH, YOU LOVE IT.
OKAY, SHUT UP.
WE'VE ONLY BEEN
TO FIRST BASE.
SECOND.
OKAY, KIND OF.
OH, WAIT, MOM.
SERIOUSLY, DON'T TELL
AIDA I SMOKE.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
I'M YOUR MOTHER.
YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED
THAT I KNOW.
I'M SERIOUS.
I'M SERIOUS, TOO.
ALL RIGHT,
NOW GET OUT.
LILA.
BYE.
MOM, GET OUT.
LET'S GET BACK TO BUSINESS.
OOH!
I WANNA SLAP YOU.
OH, COME ON,
GET OVER HERE, LILA.
I HATE YOU.
MOM?
MOM!
WHAT'S GOING ON?
ARE YOU OKAY?
THERE'S SOMETHING
WRONG WITH ME.
WHAT IS IT?
TELL ME.
I DON'T THINK
I CAN TELL YOU.
YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING.
NOT THIS.
COME ON, TELL ME.
WHAT IS IT?
WHEN I MASTURBATE,
I GET A MIGRAINE
RIGHT BEFORE THE ORGASM.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YES, YOU'RE SERIOUS.
OKAY.
WILL YOU CALL DR. ROOT,
AND ASK HIM
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
REALLY?
DO YOU WANT ME
TO CALL THE DOCTOR?
OLLIE?
YEAH, I'M COMING.
HI, DR. ROOT,
THIS IS LUNA NICHOLAS.
I'M CALLING BECAUSE OLIVER'S
HAVING A PROBLEM.
OH, WHAT IS IT?
WELL, IT'S KIND OF
A BOY PROBLEM.
WHEN-- WHEN HE MASTURBATES,
HE GETS A MIGRAINE
BEFORE HE REACHES ORGASM.
OH.
HOW OLD IS HE?
HE JUST TURNED 13.
OH, LET ME THINK.
I THINK YOU SHOULD
TELL HIM TO BREATHE.
HE'S A LITTLE TOO YOUNG
TO BE DOING THAT.
YEAH, I WILL TELL HIM.
OKAY, THANK YOU,
DR. ROOT.
WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME.
BYE-BYE.
TELL KIMO I'M NOT SELLING HIM
ANY MORE CRAWLERS.
VERONICA, YOU WANT ME
OUT OF A JOB?
YOU TELL HIM
I WANNA GO FISHING.
SURE.
SEE YOU SOON, VERONICA.
VERONICA WANTS
TO GO FISHING.
YEAH RIGHT.
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
AIDA GAVE ME A PERFUME.
SHE THINKS I SHOULD
START SMELLING LIKE A WOMAN
AND NOT LIKE A LAB RAT.
SO, YOU HAD
TO WEAR IT IN HERE?
CONCENTRATE.
I AM.
VERY GOOD.
HOW WAS YOUR DATE
WITH FRANCISCO?
IT WAS OKAY.
I'M SINGLE, YOU KNOW?
I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE
SOME FUN, TOO.
HOW FAR DID YOU GO?
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS,
YOU RAT.
OH, SO NO SEX?
NO, I'M NOT SURE
IF I LIKE HIM YET.
SO, LIKE WHAT, THIRD BASE?
WE JUST KISSED
A LITTLE BIT.
YOU SHOULD NEVER DO IT WITH HIM
UNLESS YOU REALLY LIKE HIM.
YEAH, I KNOW.
I TAUGHT YOU THAT.
NO, I TAUGHT YOU THAT.
WHERE ARE YOUR FRIENDS.
EVERYONE'S AWAY
FOR THE WEEKEND.
IS THIS TOO DARK?
NO, THAT LOOKS GOOD.
YOU WANNA HAVE LUNCH?
NO, I'M GOING TO GO PLAY TENNIS
WITH DAD AT THE PARK.
BUT IT'S COLD.
GOODBYE, LUNA.
WHAT ARE YOU MAKING, SIS?
ZUCCHINI SOUP.
PROBABLY GOING TO END UP
SUPPORTING YOUR ASS.
I WOULDN'T MIND SPENDING
YOUR MONEY, SIS.
HE GOES BACK UP
ONE MORE TIME.
HE CAN DO IT.
HE CAN DO IT.
HE MAKES-- UH!
WHOO!
DID, LIKE, CHRIS SAY
ANYTHING TO YOU?
I DON'T KNOW,
WHAT DID HE SAY TO YOU?
WELL, I WASN'T IN THE ROOM
OR ELSE I WOULD'VE COME OVER.
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE.
I WENT TO THE PARTY,
AND I WALKED IN,
AND I DIDN'T WANT TO LIKE
GO OVER TO HIM, YOU KNOW,
SO... YEAH.
NO, I HAD-- GET OFF!
OH, MY GOSH,
MY BROTHER--
STOP!
GET OFF.
NO, I'M SORRY,
IT'S-- STOP.
I'M GOING TO HURT YOU.
WHO'S THAT,
YOUR BOYFRIEND?
NO. SHH!
WHAT?
YEAH, SO I WENT AND--
MOLLY-- STOP!
GREAT, I LOST HER.
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.
GET OUT OF HERE, OLIVER!
TWELVE, THIRTEEN.
HEY, OLLIE.
YOU WANNA HEAR WHAT I WROTE
ON YOUR FIRST BIRTHDAY?
ALL RIGHT.
I WANNA WATCH THE "LOVE BOAT."
THE OTHER TV IS SHIT.
ARE YOU GUYS TALKING
ABOUT MASTURBATION
OR DEATH OR SOMETHING?
IT REALLY IS GROSS,
YOU KNOW.
AIDA!
AIDA!
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
NOTHING, LUNA.
JUST LEAVE US ALONG, OKAY?
GO.
GRACIAS.
HEY.
SHE HAD A STROKE.
SHE'LL BE IN THE HOSPITAL
FOR A FEW WEEKS,
BUT SHE WILL BE FINE.
I KNOW.
SHE WILL BE FINE.
I KNOW.
DON'T VISIT HER.
SHE SAYS SHE DOESN' WANT YOU TO SEE HER
LIKE THAT IN THE HOSPITAL.
OLIVER.
E-O-L-I-V-I-A!
I STOLE I FROM THE DEUTSCH.
MY BROTHER'S COCAINE.
AH!
AIDA?
LUCKY GIRL, HUH?
GET HER SOME ROSES.
RED ROSES.
SOMETHING WHITE.
NO, YOU WANT THE RED.
YOU WANNA SEND HER A MESSAGE.
HERE.
COME ON.
WRITE SOMETHING SWEET.
THESE ARE THE FINEST FLOWERS
IN THE CITY.
YOU'RE GONNA GE A BIG, SWEET KISS.
OF COURSE, ALL THE TIME.
GOOD, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.
I-- I'LL SEE
YOU LATER.
ALL RIGHT.
HEY, I'M FREEZING.
LET'S GE HOT CHOCOLATE.
OKAY, SO TODAY
IN SCHOOL...
HI, OLLIE.
WOULD YOU BE SAD
IF I DIED?
OF COURSE NOT.
I WOULDN'T LIKE I IF YOU WERE TOO SAD.
A LITTLE,
BUT NOT TOO MUCH.
WHAT'LL YOU KIDS HAVE?
KIDS?
HOT CHOCOLATE, PLEASE.
I'LL HAVE AN IRISH COFFEE.
SURE, YOU WILL.
YOU HAVE SOMETHING
AGAINST THE IRISH?
I'M IRISH.
TWO HOT CHOCOLATES.
WHY HAVEN'T WE
HAD SEX YET?
YOU SHOULD COME OVER
TO VAL'S LATE TONIGHT.
WE'RE GONNA GE ALL DRUGGED UP AND DO IT.
I'M NOT READY.
YOU SHOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING
WHEN YOU'RE READY.
LIFE HAPPENS
WHEN YOU'RE NOT READY.
THIS WILL BE TRAINING
FOR LIFE.
LIFE TRAINING.
YOU'RE BEING STRANGE.
WE CAN ACTUALLY
FALL IN LOVE.
GOING TO DIE SOON.
I'M READY FOR THAT.
IT'S GOING
TO BE BEAUTIFUL.
I MEAN, DON'T YOU JUS WANNA FUCK SOMETIMES?
BYE.
YOUR MOM'S PROBABLY
PRETTY GOOD LOOKING, EH?
SMILE.
OLIVER, ARE YOU OKAY?
THAT WAS SO WEIRD.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
CALL ME.
OKAY, SKIP.
WHAT'S UP, LADIES!
WHOO!
SO THE FUCKING KING
OF ALL OF THIS.
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
BANZAI!
WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE GAME?
THUMPER!
HOW DO WE PLAY?
ALL THE WAY!
WHY DO WE PLAY IT?
TO GET FUCKED UP!
SHIT TASTE GOOD.
KING OF BEERS.
I THINK I'M THE ONLY
NON-VIRGIN HERE.
YOU'RE DEFINITELY
A VIRGIN.
YOU KNOW, I JUST DON' KNOW WHERE "HEY" FITS
VERBIAGE
FOR "ASSHOLES"?
RIGHT, NICK, LIKE YOU'VE
EVER FUCKED ANYONE.
ONLY YOUR FUCKING MOM.
HEY!
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
FUCKING HILARIOUS.
I'M NOT A VIRGIN.
YOU'RE NOT?
WHOA!
I LOST IT THIS SUMMER.
HM.
HOLY SHIT.
WHAT'S THE NAME
OF THE GAME?
THUMPER!
HOW DO WE PLAY?
ALL THE WAY!
WHY DO WE PLAY?
TO GET FUCKED UP!
HIP CHECK.
OH, FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!
FUCK YOU!
MOTHERFUCKER!
HEY, VAL, DO YOU
AND YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND
EVER, LIKE,
BLOW EACH OTHER?
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
TESTY? TESTICLE?
TESORO'S NOT IMAGINARY.
HE'S REAL, DIPSHIT.
WHATEVER.
"A TREATISE
OF RED AND GREEN..."
OH, JESUS, AGAIN
WITH THE POETRY.
"AND EVERYTHING
IS RED FORM.
AND BLUEBIRDS
ARE PULLING."
BLUEBIRDS ARE PULLING
ALL RIGHT.
SHOW US YOUR SAMURAI.
ALL RIGHT LET ME SEE.
BORN TO BE
A FUCKING NINJA.
IS IT UPSIDE DOWN?
YES.
SHUT UP!
"AND YOUR BREATH
IS KIND OF MELTING."
IT'S KIND OF WEIRD, THOUGH,
HOW YOU ALL WANNA, LIKE,
HAVE SEX WITH ME.
LIKE, EVERY GIRL
IN THIS ROOM.
PROBABLY OLIVER, TOO.
I'M A FUCKING
NINJA MASTER.
HOW'D I GET SO GOOD
AT THIS, ANYWAY?
I'M SO FUCKING COOL.
BORN TO BE
A FUCKING NINJA.
I WAS BORN TO BE
A SAMURAI.
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU DOING?
I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE WERE JUST KISSING.
ARE WE LEZZIES NOW?
MM-HMM.
YEAH, YOU ARE.
SHUT UP!
FUCK BOTH OF YOU,
HONESTLY.
FUCK YOU.
HEY, VAL, WHY DON'T YOU READ
YOUR POETRY TO ALL OF US?
COME ON, I'D REALLY
LIKE TO HEAR SOME.
"ABOVE A DOCK
IN THE MIDDLE OF MAINE--"
CAN YOU SPEAK UP?
SUCH A DICK.
"THERE'S SOMETHING
IVORY INSIDE--
WHAT?
I CAN'T HEAR
YOUR POETRY.
FUCKING IDIOT.
NICK, YOU'RE
SUCH A CHILD.
ALL RIGHT.
WHOA!
MY GOD!
JUST CHILL.
SERIOUSLY, CHILL OUT.
WHOOPS!
GET OFF! OW!
DO YOU WRITE
POETRY TOO, OLIVER?
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU DOING?
NO, COME SIT ON ME.
FOR SOME REASON
I THOUGHT YOU WOULD.
STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE.
YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE.
FUCK YOU.
YOU'RE BOTH ASSHOLES.
TIME FOR SOME COKE.
YOU WANT SOME?
NO.
IT'S REALLY GOOD.
IS THAT FUCKING BLOW?
OH!
BITCH!
FUCK YOU.
JUST MAKES YOU LOOK
SO BAD-ASS.
VAL, WHAT ARE YOU,
FUCKING AL PACINO?
SCARFACE? NO.
WHERE THE FUCK
DID HE GET THAT?
STOLE IT FROM MY BRO.
WONDER IF I CAN DO COKE
AND NUNCHUCKS AT THE SAME TIME?
LET'S SEE
THE SAMURAI DO IT.
CAREFUL THERE, MAN.
WHAT'S TESORO DOING?
HE'S SKATEBOARDING
DOWN THERE.
HE'S GOT A PINK MOHAWK.
CAN YOU SEE HIM?
YOU ALL RIGHT?
NOW FOR THE MOMEN OF TRUTH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
AM I DOING THIS
ALL ALONE?
OH!
DAISY, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE
FOOLING AROUND WITH NICK.
DOES HE EVEN HAVE A PENIS?
VAL, WHY DON'T YOU GO
DRAW A DICK OR BLOW TESTE
OR TESORO, WHATEVER
THE FUCK HIS NAME IS.
DOES NICK HAVE A VAGINA?
YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND
PROBABLY HAS A VAGINA.
WHOO, NUNCHUCKS!
SUCH A BONEY...
SO, YOU CAN TAKE
MY SHIRT OFF,
BUT I CAN'T TAKE
YOUR SHIRT OFF?
MM-HMM.
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
IMAGINE HOW
THAT WOULD FEEL.
GET US SOME ALCOHOL.
HEY, BABY.
MM.
HEY, OLIVER.
MM.
COME ON, DAISY,
SHE'S ASLEEP,
SHE'S NOT GONNA
GIVE A SHIT, COME ON.
NO, NO, NOT LIKE THAT.
LIKE THIS, THIS.
NO, IT'S TOO BIG.
OLIVER, WHERE
THE FUCK ARE YOU?
ARE YOU FUCKING
SHITTING AGAIN?
JESUS CHRIST.
I JUST WEN TO THIRD WITH DAISY.
MY GOD,
SHE'S SO DIRTY.
IT WAS A BIG MOMEN FOR ME.
ANABEL'S FIRST, "O,"
COURTESY OF MOI.
AND SHE
PROBABLY HAD A GASM.
SHE WAS FAKING.
SHE WAS PROBABLY FAKING.
OKAY.
OKAY.
GUESS WHAT I JUST DID?
WHAT?
THIRD BASE WITH DAISY,
CUM GUZZLER.
MM.
IT'S ABOUT TIME,
CUM GUZZLER.
YOUR MOM'S
A FUCKING CUM GUZZLER.
SHE IS, ACTUALLY.
SHE'S NEXT.
UH, VAL, DID YOU
TAKE MY HA-HA?
IS SAID DID YOU
PURLOIN MY YAYO?
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU DOING?
SHUT UP, FAGGOT BOY.
WHAT THE FUCK?
I DIDN'T TAKE
ANY SHIT, BILLY.
OH, THIS IS
YOUR LITTLE GIRLFRIEND.
HI.
BILLY, STOP.
DON'T BE ALARMED,
EVERYBODY.
HEY, VAL,
GO SIT DOWN FOR A SEC.
BILLY, IT'S ON MY DESK.
SIT DOWN.
I SAID SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.
IT'S ON MY DESK.
I KNOW WHERE IT IS.
SO WHAT THE FUCK?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
BILLY, STOP.
WHAT THE FUCK, BILLY?!
BILLY!
FUCK!
BYE-BYE, LADIES.
THAT'S RIGHT, I'M PISSING
ON YOU, FUCK DOLL.
WHAT THE FUCK'S WRONG
WITH YOU, ASSHOLE?
FUCK YOU!
YOU'RE A FUCKING FAG!
FUCK OFF.
FUCK YOU, BILLY!
FAGGOT.
OLIVER, GE THE FUCK OUT, MAN.
GET THE FUCK OUT,
OLIVER!
HEY, HOW'S
IT GOING, OLLI?
I WAS TALKING
TO LILA.
SHE WAS
ASKING ABOUT YOU.
JESUS CHRIST, ADRIANA.
SO INCONSIDERATE!
SLAMMING DOORS IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE NIGHT?
I HAVE JUS GOTTEN TO SLEEP!
FUCK YOU!
I WANNA LIVE WITH DAD!
I HATE YOU!
FUCK YOU!
WHY DO YOU
HATE ME SO MUCH?
WHAT DID I EVER
DO TO YOU?
LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!
WELL, FUCK YOU TOO!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OLIVER.
SHH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OLIVER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M SLEEPING.
I'M MOVING IN WITH DAD.
MOM IS CRAZY.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
OH, YEAH?
YOU JUST WATCH ME.
WATCH ME.
WHY DO YOU STEAL
HER HAIRBRUSH EVERY MORNING?
OF COURSE YOU TAKE HER SIDE.
THE FAVORITE.
ONE DAY I'M GONNA
HAVE HER COMMITTED.
JUST GO BACK TO BED.
EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE
IN THE MORNING.
NO, IT'S TOO LATE.
I'M LEAVING.
AND, YOU, UH, BETTER BE CAREFUL,
OR ELSE YOU'LL END UP LIKE HER.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WORE
LEATHER PANTS TO PARENTS' DAY.
SO WHAT IF I'M WEARING
LEATHER PANTS?
YOU'RE GONNA BE HAPPY ONE DAY
THAT YOU HAVE A COOL MOM.
JESUS.
I HOPE YOU DON' END UP A BANKER.
AND STOP CALLING ME
"JOAN JETT"
IN FRONT OF
THE OTHER PARENTS.
IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY.
I HAVE CANCER.
CHRISTMAS IS
IN A FEW WEEKS,
YOU CAN'T HAVE CANCER.
RIGHT, I FORGOT.
NO CANCER ON THE HOLIDAYS.
I SAW AIDA.
YOU KNOW THAT SHE'S NO FEELING VERY WELL LATELY,
AND, UH--
WHAT--
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M CHOKING.
YOU'RE NOT, SIT DOWN.
I'M SERIOUS.
AND HOW THE HELL
WOULD YOU KNOW?
YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE,
JUST CALM DOWN.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE YELLING
AT ME WHEN I'M CHOKING.
I'M NOT-- OKAY.
YOU'RE NOT CHOKING.
YOU'RE MAKING A SCENE.
YOU'RE MAKING A SCENE.
I'M CHOKING.
I NEED A DOCTOR.
OKAY, LET'S GO.
GOD DAMN CHEESECAKE.
OKAY, GREAT, WHY DON' YOU SIT THERE?
LET ME TALK
TO YOUR MOM, OKAY?
I'M SORRY, MRS. NICHOLAS,
I CAN'T TAKE HIM
IN FRONT OF
MY OTHER PATIENTS
WHEN THERE IS NO
VISIBLE OBSTRUCTION.
BUT IF MY SON SAYS--
IT-- IT MUST'VE GONE DOWN.
WELL, GOOD.
GOOD, ALL RIGHT, UM,
I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.
ADRIANA, DINNER'S READY.
FOR ONCE WE'RE GONNA
HAVE A FAMILY MEAL.
ADRIANA!
STOP.
SIT DOWN.
OKAY.
HELLO?
DOES SHE REALLY
EXPECT US TO EAT THIS?
ADRIANA,
IT'S YOUR FATHER.
HEY, DAD.
HI, SWEETIE,
WHAT WAS THAT MESSAGE?
I-- I JUST CAN' DO IT, ANYMORE.
I CAN'T...
I CAN'T TAKE
MOM, AND...
HER AND OLIVER
TOGETHER, AND...
YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO--
YEAH, BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE HERE
EVERY DAY WITH HER
AND OLIVER
AND THE TWO OF THEM, AND--
CAN'T I JUS COME LIVE WITH YOU?
ADRIANA, YOU KNOW
THAT'S NOT PRACTICAL.
I'M TRAVELING
ALL THE TIME FOR WORK.
YOU CAN'T--
YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW
TO LIVE WITH YOUR MOM.
YOU HAVE TO.
I MEAN, YOU'RE NOT--
YOU'RE NO A LITTLE KID ANYMORE.
OKAY, SWEETIE, LISTEN,
I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.
I'M IN JAPAN.
I'LL TALK TO YOU
WHEN I GET BACK, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT,
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
LOTS OF LOVE, BYE.
BYE.
LET'S EAT.
HELLO?
YES, MRS. NICHOLAS,
THIS IS DR. ROOT AGAIN.
I'VE BEEN THINKING,
HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED
HAVING OLIVER SEE
A PSYCHIATRIST?
I MEAN, WITH
HIS RECENT BEHAVIOR,
IT MIGHT BENEFIT HIM
HAVING SOMEONE TO TALK TO.
THANK YOU.
I THINK I KNOW MY OWN SON.
IF THERE'S ANYONE
HE CAN TALK TO, IT'S ME.
BUT THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN.
THANK YOU.
FUCK YOU.
SO, I'M PRETTY SURE
I CAN BANG THAT MALL CHICK.
SHE WAS ALL OVER ME.
I WAS PRACTICALLY IN,
AND THEN YOUR ASSHOLE
BROTHER SHOWED UP.
I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK
IS WRONG WITH HIM, ANYWAY?
WE SHOULD EXECUTE
THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH.
NICK, COOL IT.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUS GO SUCK HIS DICK INSTEAD.
THAT MIGHT HELP.
HE ACTUALLY PISSED ON YOU,
AND YOU'RE JUST GONNA
TAKE HIS BULLSHIT NOW?
ARE YOU REALLY THAT MAD THA I GET MORE ACTION THAN YOU?
OKAY, YOU DON'T GET MORE
FUCKING ACTION THAN ME.
DAISY SAID MAKING OUT WITH YOU
WAS LIKE KISSING A BAG OF FISH.
YO, YOU REALLY THINK I GIVE
A FUCK WHAT DAISY SAYS?
THAT GIRL HAS A MOLE ON HER FACE
THE SIZE OF A CADILLAC.
WHATEVER.
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU DRAWING, ANYWAY?
IS THAT YOUR
IMAGINARY FRIEND?
I WAS TALKING TO MY MOM
ABOUT THIS THE OTHER DAY.
SHE ASKED ME IF I HAD
AN IMAGINARY FRIEND
BECAUSE SHE SAID
IT'S A SIGN OF CREATIVITY.
HAVING AN IMAGINARY FRIEND
IS A SIGN OF FAGGOTRY.
SO, OF COURSE,
YOU HAVE ONE, VAL.
FUCK YOU.
GO SUCK A DICK.
HAVE YOU TALKED
TO YOUR MOM ABOUT TESORO?
YEAH, SO FUCKING WHAT.
WHAT'S WRONG, VAL?
TESORO JUST DISAPPEARED.
ARE YOU FUCKING
KIDDING ME?
ARE YOU AN IDIOT?
HONESTLY,
HE'S NOT FUCKING REAL!
WELL, HE'S NO HERE, OKAY?
OKAY, HE'S GONE,
AND I DON'T--
WHAT THE--
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!
YEAH!
YEAH!
OLIVER.
HEY.
HI, LILA.
STILL WANNA KISS ME?
OH, COME ON.
DON'T TELL ME
YOU DON'T NOTICE.
I HAVE TO
GO SOMEWHERE, LILA.
CAN I COME?
YOU LIKE THAT SPENCE GIRL,
DON'T YOU?
ANNABEL?
ANNABEL?
THAT'S VAL'S GIRLFRIEND.
YEAH, WELL,
SHE LIKES YOU.
I HEARD SHE WAS USING VAL
TO GET TO YOU.
I JUST... CAN'T.
WHAT IS IT, OLIVER?
YOU CAN TELL ME.
JUST TALK
TO ME, PLEASE.
I HAVE TO GO, LILA.
I'M SORRY.
HEY.
SHE'S BEEN SLEEPING
ALL DAY.
WHY DON'T YOU
COME BACK TOMORROW?
SO HE KNEW
WHEN HE PASSED THE HARNESS
TO THE MAN NEXT TO HIM,
THAT HE WOULD DIE.
DO YOU WANT TO LIGH A CANDLE FOR AIDA?
SO, YOU SEE,
THE MOST IMAGINATIVE AC IS TO PUT ANOTHER
PERSON BEFORE YOU,
TO GIVE LOVE WITHOU EXPECTING TO RECEIVE IT.
AND IN THIS
SELF-CENTERED WORLD,
IT'S IMPORTANT TO GIVE
AND TO SHARE.
THAT'S WHA OUR FATHER DID,
AND THAT IS OUR DUTY.
THAT IS THE MEANING
OF LIFE.
SO, WHEN YOU ALL
GO HOME TODAY
AND YOU THINK
ABOUT THIS STORY,
I WANT YOU ALL
TO THINK OF EACH OTHER
AS A FAMILY,
BECAUSE THAT'S
PRECISELY WHAT WE ARE.
IF THERE'S ONE THING
THAT YOU LEAVE HERE WITH TODAY,
IT'S THAT.
PIECE OF SHIT.
IF IT WASN'T FOR
THIS SHITTY MACHINE,
RIGHT, YOU'RE SO GOOD
AT THIS GAME.
FUCK YOU, DAISY.
FUCK YOU.
WHY?
I DON'T LIKE YOU
ANYMORE.
YOU DON'T WANNA BE
MY GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE?
GIVE ME A SLICE.
ANNABEL HAS
A CRUSH ON YOU.
SHE'S BREAKING UP
WITH VAL RIGHT NOW.
SO, THAT'S IT?
I'M SORRY.
VAL, WHAT'S UP?
FUCK THIS,
I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.
DUDE.
I'M HAVING A PARTY
FRIDAY NIGHT.
WANNA COME?
OLIVER?
I BROKE UP WITH VAL.
DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK
IS WRONG WITH YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
LEAVE THEM ALONE.
THEY LIKE EACH OTHER.
GET THE FUCK
AWAY FROM ME.
NO, YOU GET THE FUCK
AWAY FROM THEM.
SHUT UP!
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?
FUCK THIS.
AIDA.
HMM?
HELLO, ANYBODY HOME?
HELLO?
ANY OF YOU GUYS
SEEN MY MAKEUP?
FUCK, I CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE,
AND I'M GONNA BE SO LATE.
ADRIANA.
GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
YOU GUYS ARE SO GROSS.
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
AAH!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
OLIVER, STOP!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
OLIVER!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
GET OFF!
OLIVER!
HEY, OLLIE,
HOW'S IT GOING?
AND YOU GOT,
UH, TWO COFFEES.
I'LL GIVE YOU
ONE OF THESE.
THAT'S TWO DOLLARS.
ALL RIGHT, I GOTTA
GIVE YOU 50 CENTS.
AND, UH...
DO YOU WAN ANYTHING ELSE WITH THAT?
YOU WANT A PIECE
OF CAKE?
HEY!
YOU LITTLE
SON-OF-A-BITCH.
I'LL GET THA LITTLE BASTARD.
HE COMES IN HERE
ALL THE TIME.
HIM AND HIS FRIENDS.
NOW, COME ON.
WHAT?
COME ON NOW!
WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME?
I'LL BREAK YOUR FACE,
YOU LITTLE PUNK!
PUNK.
... DAVID LETTERMAN.
HELLO?
I'M TELLING YOU,
DAVID LETTERMAN'S
A COMIC GENIUS.
HE'S A FUCKING HICK.
YOU'RE SUCH A DICK.
HEY, OLIVER.
I'M SORRY.
IT'S OKAY.
IS THAT FOR ME?
NO.
GET OFF THE PHONE,
I'M EXPECTING CALLS.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
HAVE SEX WITH HER.
AT LEAST ONE
OF US SHOULD.
I DON'T THINK
TESORO'S GONE.
I MEAN... HE DOESN' HAVE TO BE GONE.
HE'S NOT COMING BACK.
HE'S GONE.
YEAH, BUT, HE DOESN' HAVE TO BE.
I MEAN, EVEN IF
YOU CAN'T SEE HIM,
HE CAN STILL BE WITH US,
LIKE A SHADOW.
YOU SHOULD SEE HIM.
GET OFF THE PHONE,
MINI DOUCHE!
DON'T TALK LIKE THA TO YOUR BROTHER.
I'M MAN-TRAINING HIM.
I'M LOOKING
AT HIM RIGHT NOW, VAL.
HE'S WEARING
A FUNNY TUX.
ONE OF THOSE MEXICAN ONES
WITH FRILLS.
CAN YOU SEE HIM?
VAL, GET OFF
THE FUCKING PHONE!
I'M SERIOUS!
HE'S HAVING FUN
AND LAUGHING.
ARE YOU FUCKING NOT LISTENING
TO ME, YOU LITTLE FUCK!
HE'S OKAY, VAL.
HE WANTS ME
TO TELL YOU HE'S OKAY.
CAN YOU SEE HIM, VAL?
CAN YOU SEE HIM?
CAN YOU SEE HIM?
SURE, OLIVER, I SEE HIM.
THERE YOU ARE.
... CHRISTMAS BLOWOUT LIST.
SEE CRAZY EDDIE NOW.
HIS PRICES
ARE INSANE!
I THINK I LOVE YOU.
I'M A VIRGIN.
I-- I WANT YOU, THOUGH.
I'M-- I'M READY.
NO TIP TODAY.
YOU KNOW YOU JUS CAUGHT ME OFF BALANCE.
"THINGS I LOVED ABOUT AIDA.
"HER WRINKLES
THAT WERE NEVER MEAN.
"THE WAY SHE TYPED HER LETTERS
HOME ON BLUE STATIONERY.
"THAT I NEVER HEARD HER YELL,
NOT EVEN WHEN I DESERVED IT.
"HER LOVE FOR
SPANISH SOAP-OPERAS.
THE WAY SHE SMELLED LIKE
HAIRSPRAY AND GREEN SOAP."
YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT US
TO COME WITH YOU?
NO, HE WANTS TO GO ALONE.
THANKS, MOM.
THE AIRLINE WILL
ASK YOU FOR THIS.
TAKE CARE.
"NIGHT HAS SETTLED
INTO ITS DEATH MASK.
"WHERE THE STARS
ARE FORBIDDEN
AND THE PRINCES HANGED."
"NO ONE WAS EVER HURT.
OLIVER, YOU FINISH
THE POEM."
"NIGHT HAS SETTLED
INTO ITS DEATH MASK.
"WHERE THE STARS
ARE FORBIDDEN
"AND THE PRINCES HANGED.
NO ONE WAS EVER HUR BY BEING LOVED TOO MUCH."
WHAT ARE YOU
LOOKING AT?
READY?
YEAH, I'M READY...