Pardon My Backfire (1953) Movie Script

Happy 10th anniversary.
Boy, what a beautiful cake!
If I only have ketchup on!
Yeah, I can hardly wait
to sink my teeth on it.
Thank you, but let's have dinner
first. Come on, at the table!
Oh, boy!
Here baby, give me a kiss, huh?
Oh, no!
Shemp! Come on, you lunkhead, hurry up!
Let got everybody waiting for you!
- Look at this!
- Shut up!
Sit down, eat the
dinner like a gentleman!
I'll eat, but I'll promise nothing.
Hold it!
Pardon me, would you
gonna eat that lamb alone?
No, I'll wait, maybe
I'll get something else.
Say something, do you
like the asparagus?
Love 'em!
Oh, then here's a
couple of tips for you.
Break it up! Break it up!
You three no goods here again?
- But pop, is our 10th anniversary!
- Yeah!
Yeah, 10th engaged anniversary!
But you have to got
money to get married.
- Give the boys a little time.
- I will! Very little!
If they don't marry you this week,
you'll marry those three
nice plumbers down the street!
Oh no, no that!
We'll earn enough money
this week to get marry!
Yeah, we'll keep our
garage open night and day.
We'll fix more cars
that you ever heard of!
See let you do! One week, no more!
Okay, pop. Come on! Let's get busy!
Hold it, hold it!
I'm not going until I
get a piece of that cake!
- Oh, so you want some cake?
- In the worst way.
That's exactly what you gonna get it.
Oh, no, no, no, Moe, no, no!
No, Moe, no, no! Moe!
Poppa, you spoiled our cake!
Hey fellas, we better get
busy and make a lot of money
or we gonna lose our girls.
Okay then, get over there
and tune up that old car.
Shemp, you get the tire attachers ready.
Hey Shemp, come here.
Shift the confined leak in this tire.
Hey, I can't find a leak.
Oh you're not doing it
right. Here, get over here.
Another .
- You did it on purpose!
- I did not, I did not.
Hey, Larry! Shut that horn off!
I can't, it's stucked!
Come on!
Hey Larry! What happens?
Now, until I only find the right wire.
Larry! Larry, Larry!
Look at this wire, it's alive!
- What wire?
- Now I don't see it!
Well, maybe you'll see this.
, I gotta...!
Oh, my puss, sweetie,
cute, beautiful little head!
Well, take your puss, sweetie,
cute, little beatiful head
with the ugly kisser in the back there
and see if the stop
was working. Go ahead!
Wise guy.
The light must be up
because it did none.
I'll check the connection.
Would you , will you?
Sorry kid. Put on my backfire.
Hey! I think I get the right wire!
- What did you think so?
- Instinct!
Then fix it with your instinct,
you probably get the head live wires!
Why are you yelling about?
So you can hear me over the horn!
- The horn stopped!
- Oh, so it did!
You imbecile, !
Spread out!
I'm an expert. I'll show
how to disconnect it.
You stopped the horn but
you started the radio going.
We interrupt this program
to bring you a news flash.
Three dangerous convicts
made a successful beak
from the Penitentiary.
They came out with a car
which has very little gasoline.
All gas stations and garages
are warn to be on the look out.
They are dangerous and
maybe armed. Be careful.
be a reward for their reaprehension.
- How gonna how much?
- 1,500 dollars.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
Yes, you're welcome
to attend the opening
of the Light and Gold market.
Boy, if we can capture
these guys and get the reward
we'll be a cinch to get married.
I fixed it!
They got me!
- He is horning!
- Yeah!
What can we do for you, sir?
Well, you can see
that we are out of gas.
And this dent has to
be repaired and painted.
Got quickly. If you're
hurry, I'll pay you double.
- We are hurry, and how!
- Looking through in a jiffy.
- You step in the office, please.
- Thank you very thank you.
- Hey, they're nice guys.
- Yeah, and a slick chick.
You know, I think they hit something.
Listen, every time you
think you weak the nation.
Go get the tools!
You know? .
If those men recognize
us, they would talk.
I believe that would be
feasible to eventuallity.
Don't you?
Hey, come on, stand for, Moe,
we have plenty of work to do!
Hey, you stood sleeping? Come on!
, you know?
Let me see that rasp.
Wait a minute!
Now, sawdust .
Get the torch and ! Go on.
Listen, lamebrain!
Let an expert show you how to do this!
with that hammer in your hand.
With you, a hammer
is a , remember that.
I'll show you what I mean by an expert.
Now look.
See what you've done?
I didn't know that
was anybody behind me.
Oh boy, you sure broke it.
Yeah, the guy ain't go find that funny.
Hey Moe, we gonna have to
replace this windshield.
Yeah, we sure will.
Hey, I smell rubbish burning.
- Yes, so do I. It's me!
- Don't go away, Moe!
Hold still, Moe, I'll put
out it with this lacquer.
I'm losing my mind!
- Turn in back, Moe!
- Okay!
- How do you feel, kid?
- Like a baked potato.
There. Backed potato, hein?
Come on, fellas, we
got to get busy here!
Go flirt with those
men to make them hurry.
But don't overdo,
remember you're my girl.
You always jealous.
Would you be darling can hurry for me?
I'm awfully late.
Oh, sure, sure! Come on, get busy!
Anything for a beautiful chick like you.
Come on, sit down,
make yourself at home.
We'll show you a real speed.
And some sweet music for a sweet thing.
Here we are.
Here are the latest report
about the three escaped convicts.
There are driving an
old 1940 black sedan
and are now accompanying by a woman.
They robbed a clubbing store
and all are wearing brand new suits.
The leader have a prominent
scar in the left cheek.
Remember that, fellas,
in case we run into the searched guys.
The woman is wearing
a light red dress...
One of the men is short, fatty...
You're been a perfect darling
in give me so much attention.
Oh, I'm always happy to
give a lady a helping hand.
How !
Hey, take it easy, mister. We
were just listen to the radio.
They were telling about
three escaped convicts
wearing nice business suits, like you.
And one of them have a scar
in his face like you. And...
- Hey, it is you!
- Call the cops!
I'm gonna blast!
No, no, no shot, we
will kill them silently!
Knives are quiet!
Very good.
Wait a minute! I have
to marry next week!
I am going to kill you to death!
No, no, no, no!
No, no, no!
Baby, I'm, sorry! What I do this?
I will kill them for this!
Darling, speak to me! Got
to me a couple of syllabes!
- Something, baby!
- Hey, buster!
My name is not Booo...!
How do you like that?
Why, I will kill you!
No, no, put down that !
Remember that your mother
and my mother are both moters.
I'll get you this time.
Now I'm mad!
Why you...! I'll fix you!
I'm gonna get myself a cheap lawyer!
Let me out!
Get me out of here!
Get me out of here!
You coward, come back
and fight like a man!
I'll get you!
Pardon my monkey wrench.
Take him over tied with the other guys!
Alright, take him
around the corner here.
We'll get the cops.
- Moe.
- Shemp.
- Larry.
- Nettie!
- Hettie!
- Bettie!
- It's the girls!
- Hiya girls!
And they brought the cops!
We brought you new customers.
Yeah, they broke in front of our house.
You've got here just in time, officers!
Yeah, we caught the
three escaped convicts
and their girlfriend.
They're over there.
You're heroes! You're wonderful!
And with the reward, we'll get marry.
- Give us all a kiss, huh?
- Yeah!
I'm poisoned!
Get away!