Pardon My Sarong (1942) Movie Script
That bus only goes
ten blocks this way,
ten blocks this way
and ten blocks this way.
Why, it doesn't even
have to make a left-hand turn.
Gone! Completely
disappeared! No trace of it!
How in heaven's name does
anybody steal a crosstown bus?
What are the
drivers' names?
Algernon Shaw Harring
and Wellington Phlug.
Ah, this is no time
to make jokes!
They're new employees.
Shall I call the police?
And have us made the laughingstock of
the country? Get a private detective.
Yes, sir.
Crosstown bus disappears
right under our noses!
Wait 'til I get my hands
on bus number 5111.
Of all the bus drivers in
Chicago, I had to pick those two.
I should never have let you talk us
into leaving our crosstown bus route.
What are you worrying about?
We'll get a promotion. Yeah.
We'll have our pictures
in the papers.
I know what it's gonna say.
"Wanted by the police. "
Nothing of the kind.
Get a load of that.
"Tommy Layton
enters yacht race. "
You mean he's gonna enter this bus in
the boat race? Ye... No, certainly not!
After all...
Oh, will you keep your eyes
open? I can't. I'm sleepy.
I didn't get no sleep in that motel. Why?
Some dummy put the bed
in the closet.
It's a Murphy bed. Murphy
should have slept in it.
What are you...
Hold on to that.
Okay, I'll take it.
Drive straight.
We're running out of gas.
Running out of gas? Oh. Yes.
What are you driving
so fast for?
I got to get to a station
before we run out of gas. No, no.
How you gonna pay for gas? What
are you gonna use for dough?
Don't worry about the dough. I'll see
if I can get away with a baseball story.
- Hey, you like baseball?
- Do I? I never miss a game.
The last half of the 9th,
the score is tied.
Three men on base. Up comes
DiMagg. Three balls, two strikes.
The pitcher winds up,
throws... Zowie, a home run!
The Yanks win five to one. We
sure put it over, didn't we?
Yep, we sure put it over! We certainly did!
Hey!
Hey, come back here!
How do you like that!
What happened?
I just got gypped by a
couple wise guys. Yeah?
Where's the
nearest gas station?
Never mind him. Fill it up. Fill it up.
Come on, girls, relax.
There we are.
How'd you enjoy the
trip? The next one's mine.
What are you doing?
- How'd you enjoy the trip?
- Fine, Tommy.
Come along, girls.
Hey, pardon me, but aren't
you Tommy Layton? Yeah.
And we're his nurses. Lucky patient.
I'm from the Oakmont Herald.
How's for a picture?
Sure.
Good.
Thanks, girls.
Come on. Let's get back.
I've had enough air.
That'll be $12.50 for the
gas. $12.50 for the gas.
Tell him to put it on the
cuff. Put it on the cuff.
What do you mean,
"Put it on the cuff"?
What...
Come on. We'll get it off
Mr. Layton. No fighting.
Mr. Layton, the man wants
$12.50 for the gas.
I'll settle everything
at the end of the trip.
Right now, money is
secondary. Just a minute.
How 'bout giving me a
little secondary? All right.
Here's $20.00. Keep the
change. $20.00. Keep the change.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
What's the matter with you?
What's wrong?
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Pay the man. How? The girl took the money.
What girl? The one with the
long red stuff and head too.
Oh, how are we going
to pay for this gas?
Wait, I've got it!
Go tell him the baseball story.
The baseball story? The old one? You know.
They don't know it out
here. They don't know it?
Certainly not. The one about the guy on...
Yes, yes, yes,
you know it. Go ahead.
That was $12.50, wasn't it? That's right.
$12.50,
ha-ha, $12.50.
You like baseball? Yeah, I'm
just crazy about baseball.
I think we got 'em.
That's all there is to it.
In fact, I'm just dying to have
somebody tell me a baseball story.
Algy, you better tell him. Why?
He's just dying to have somebody
tell him a baseball story.
Aren't you dying to
tell him? I'm just dyin'.
Go find out if he heard
the game yesterday. Okay.
Did you hear the game yesterday? No.
He didn't hear it.
So?
It was some game. It was the last
of the 9th and the score was tied.
Are you sure you didn't hear the game? No.
You read it in the papers? No.
Hear it on the radio? No!
Okay.
What's the matter? I don't
think it's gonna work.
Is he askin' too many questions?
He knows too many answers.
Go over and tell him
the story. Go on, go on.
Okay.
Hurry up.
Joe DiMaggio... Was at bat,
three balls, two strikes.
The pitcher winds up, throws.
DiMaggio swings... Zowie, a home run!
The Yanks win
five to one!
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Come here, smart guy. Two fellows put
that gag over on me a few minutes ago.
I said the next guy that
did it, I'd break his leg!
What's that got to do with
my change? What change?
My change from the $20 bill
I gave you. You gave me... Oh!
I beg your pardon, sir. That's okay.
After all, you must
trust everybody. Yes, sir.
Here's a tip for you. That's
very generous of you, sir.
That's okay. Thank you. Thank you, sir.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha!
Ooo-ooo-ooo!
Ah, boy,
that was swell.
One more?
No, one's enough.
I gotta go for another one. Wait a minute.
One's enough. If you're
a sissy, I can't help it.
I like the stuff.
What do you mean?
Scotch and soda.
Cuba libra.
Make mine a brandy.
Can't handle it, huh?
Getting old. Not me, I got a
hollow leg. Fill it up again!
My friend, Algy, don't think
I can handle this stuff.
Thank you. Oh boy.! Whoo-whoo.!
I tell ya,
when I go for this stuff,
I really go for it.
I know, but one of those is enough. Nah!
Come on, let's...
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Take it easy.
Get it out.
That would have cost fifty
cents if you had swallowed that.
Do I worry
'Cause you're
stepping out
Do I worry
'Cause you've got me
in doubt
Though your kisses
aren't right
Do I give a bag of beans
Do I
stay home every night
And read my magazines
Am I frantic
'Cause we've
lost the spark
Is there panic
When it starts
turning dark
And when
evening shadows creep
Do I lose any sleep
over you
Do I worry
You can bet your life
I do
Do I worry
When the ice man calls
Do I worry
If Niagara falls
Though you treat me
just like dirt
Think I give a snap
Are my feelin's
really hurt
When you're sittin'
in somebody else's lap
Am I curious
When the gossip flies
Am I furious
'Bout your
little white lies
When all
our evenings end
'Cause you
got a sick friend
That needs you
Do I worry
Honey, you know
doggone well I do
Now am I frantic
'Cause we've
lost the spark
Is there panic
When it starts
turning dark
And when
evening shadows creep
Do I lose any sleep
over you
Do I worry
You can bet your life
I do
Think you can walk?
Oh, I'll make it.
Right.
Right.
What's the matter?
I should've never mixed them. Mixed what?
The chocolate with the
vanilla. Let's go to bed.
Hello! Whoo! Come on.
I'm sorry, very sorry. Sorry.
Oh, pictures.
Are they your children?
Hey, looks like somebody I know. That's us.
You admit it? Whoever took that
picture didn't do a good job on me.
Here's a nice invitation for
ya. That's very nice of ya.
Get this: The state of
Illinois sends us greetings.
I send greetings right back to
Illinois. I'll send them a postcard.
Do you know what that is? An invitation.
The state of Illinois would
like you to be their guest.
Over the weekend? I'd
say for quite a few years.
No, I couldn't sponge
on anybody that long.
We work for a bus concern in Chicago and
they wouldn't give us that much time off.
It was the bus company that
wants you sent away for a rest.
I don't wanna go. No!
Algy, you don't wanna go?
That's being ungrateful. They're
gonna try to give us a vacation.
What's the name of the hotel?
A place called "the pen. "
I never heard of that
hotel. That's not a hotel.
It's a place with big walls
around it. Oh, a private place.
Yes, plenty private! Good.
They've got men
walking around the walls.
They're picketing the
place? They're not picketing.
They're up there to make sure
that you don't get out.
If you try to, they...
Brr-brr-brr! I understand now!
You mean prison guards.
Those guys are tough.
When you get inside those
pens... Pens? Uh-huh.
Hotel pen?
Certainly.
Do... do...
A cop!
Certainly!
I beg your pardon.
Are you looking for
someone? I'm looking for...
Oh, I beg your pardon.
How do you do?
Hey, look!
Maybe he can make us
disappear. Let's find out.
Oh, archery.
Oh, come on.
Come on.
Hey, look!
Oh, Marco the Magician.
What are you...
Wait!
Why don't you knock on the
door? I don't give a rap anymore.
Ah, bon soir, monsieur.
Oh, come on.
Hey!
Come on.
Pardon me. Did you see bus drivers come
in here? Je suis Marco, le Magicien.
Yeah, they stole a bus.
I've got a warrant for these
guys and now they've disappeared.
Ah, disappeared!
Oui, oui, oui.
Une fois, deux fois,
trois fois.
Maintenant, je vais
le faire chapper...
avec un mouchoir...
What are you doing?
This guy must be crazy.
Bruler, commencer par...
Wait a minute!
You can't do that!
Disappeared.
What do you mean setting my warrant
on fire? I'll arrest you for arson.
Un instant.
Voila.
C'est un truc
tres simple.
Au revoir.
That guy
is all right.
You magicians
certainly get around.
You go out there
and pop up here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do me a favor.
Oui, oui. Do that trick
over for me, will ya?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, where you make
it disappear? Oh, oui, oui.
Where you burn it up?
Oui, oui.!
Oui, oui.! No, no. Do
it like you did before.
I want to learn it all; fold
it up... Oh, viva la sardines.
Yes, yes.
Oui, oui. No, wrap the
handkerchief around it.
Take my handkerchief.
Now burn it up.
Burn it up. Come on. Oui, oui, oui.
Yes, sir.
Oui, of course.
Now pull it
out of my collar.
Wha... Wha...? The collar!
Pull it outta the collar.
Come on!
The collar!
Pull it
outta the collar!
No, the collar. Pull it outta
there. Don't you understand?
I'm sorry, I don't speak
English. That's different then.
Hey, what are you
pullin'?
Another one. How do you do? How are ya?
I suppose you're
Marco the Magician too.
No, I'm his twin brother. Twin brother?
Then how come you speak English
and he don't? He was born in France.
If you're twins, why weren't
you born in France with him?
I was traveling with
my aunt at the time.
I'm tired of this
hocus-pocus.
Let me see a trick. If it lays an
egg, you've got explainin' to do.
If it lays an egg?
Yeah.
I'm glad
you mentioned eggs.
Take your hat off, please.
Hold your hat in your hand.
Here I have a common,
ordinary egg.
I am going to break the egg in
your hat and do a trick. In my hat?
In your hat and
over your ears.
Now, I'm gonna
break the egg.
There you are. See that? I'll
put that in too. I don't care.
Now, I get my ma...
Oh, hold it over there.
Is something wrong? Plenty,
yeah. Hold it over there.
Hocus-pocus,
diddly-okus. And now...
The egg is still
in your hat.
Is something wrong?
Uh-huh.
I gotta use more eggs.
Hold the cigar, please.
Now, I take it...
You didn't see nothing wrong?
No, the egg is still there.
I'm glad
you saw it.
I crack it again
like this.
I put another egg in there.
Then I put in a little salt.
A little
salt and pepper.
I get
the outboard motor.
There you are.
And now...
we got an omelet.
Hmm, all right.
What do you know? Get them
out. Make them disappear.
You don't have toast with you, do you? No.
Make them disappear?
Yeah, make 'em disappear.
I got a card trick...
Never mind the card trick!
Get those eggs
outta my hat!
I got a cute trick...
Never mind!
Come on, listen.
Get those eggs
outta my hat!
Me and my brother, Marco,
used to do this trick.
Then why can't you get 'em out?
That's the part Marco knows.
Somethin' wrong?
Oh, ah-hah!
Ah-ho! Ah-ho!
Ah-hah! Ah-hah!
Ah-ho!
Ooo-ooo-ooo!
Hey, Wellington!
Hurry up.
Turn around.
Get down!
Ah!
Hey, fellas, give me a hand, will ya?
Help me get this box
on that truck.
Now, wise guys, I've got
you where I want you.
I'm gonna ship you
by fast freight.
You didn't think I'd catch you, did ya?
Ho-ho. Come on! At least I got you!
You think you can
get away from me, huh?
Come on. Get in there.
That'll hold you 'til
I catch your pal. Yeah?
You got outta that box
but you won't get outta there!
I'll guarantee that.!
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Algy, come on,
I got him!
You got who? The cop.
I got him in the trunk.
Swell! All by myself, I
put him right in the trunk.
Behind, in the back. Not
in the back, in the trunk.
Behind ya. Not behind me. He's under me.
I'll give you a peek.
Come here. Look.
Look!
All good things
must come to an end.
I think while I can
still recognize you,
I'll kiss you all
good-bye.
Tommy!
Tommy!
Why do I always
have to be last?
Is that as hard
as you can slap?
- That's hard enough.!
- What's the matter, Sis?
Just a kissing Tom. Slight
case of mistaken identity.
Not on my part.
Roger, this is Tommy Layton,
the sportsmanlike yachtsman
who stole your crew.
Wait a minute. I don't know
what my agent did, but...
You are Tom Layton? Yeah. So what?
Allow me to introduce myself. Roger!
I don't think he can take it. This
is hardly the place to find out.
He's right. Besides, I have a much
better idea on the crew situation.
A much better idea!
Yes, yes
Now brothers and sisters Yes, hallelujah
We all give the jazz a stride Yes, Elmer
To have one of them good,
old jam sessions Uh-hum
Dishin' out some solid jive Hallelujah
I want all you hepcats
and jitterbugs Yes, yes
Come on up here and get
in the groove Glory, glory
'Cause when that rhythm
hits ya What do we do
Son, that's the time
to move
Stand up and shout
brother, shout
Shout, brother, shout
When that
rhythm hits you
Shout, brother, shout
Don't be afraid
Don't hang your heads
Stand up and shout
brother, shout
Brother, shout
Hallelujah
Hey, when you get
that feeling
Runnin'down
your spine
That's that
good ol' rhythm
It'll drive you
outta your mind
Shout, brother, shout
You'll soon find out
you will be happy
If you shout
brother, shout
Hallelujah
Shout, brother, shout
Shout
brother, shout
When that
rhythm hits you
Shout, brother, shout
Don't be afraid
Don't hang your head
Stand up and shout
brother, shout
Brother, shout
Yes, yes
This don't look like the right
road to Chicago. Just keep going.
Oooh!
What's the matter now?
Dead end.
All right.
Back up.
I gotta back up.
Go ahead.
Don't you hear me?
Back up!
I gotta back up.
Go ahead.
What's the matter
with ya? Back up!
I'm gonna back up! Do as the man tells ya.
Go ahead.
Will you go ahead
and back up?
How can you go ahead
and then back up?
Back up.
Go ahead.
I gotta back up then go... What
kind of bus do you think this is?
I'll satisfy the both of
yous. I'll go sideways.
Back up!
Back up!
Hello, Sven.
Hello, Mr. Layton.
When I wired you to get me a
crew, I didn't expect you to...
I know,
I make mistake.
I steal the crew
from the Shamrock,
but everything's
straightened out.
Crew go back to old job.
What did you do, lay them off?
Your sister told me you
couldn't get here for the race.
My sister! I haven't got any sister.
Why, Brother,
how you do talk!
Hey.
What are you doing on my
boat? Just a little sabotage.
You stole my brother's crew
and I stole it back.
There seems to be some misunderstanding.
I didn't get into town...
That's your story! You
don't want to listen, huh?
All right. You asked for
it. Hey, that's my dinghy!
You won't need it. You're
going for a little joyride.
Leave me alone!
Take your hands off me!
How do you dare
manhandle me like this!
Sven, up anchor and
let's get underway.
Oh, no, I don't
go on no cruise.
Why not? I get seasick every
time I leave the harbor.
How do you like that?
Ha-ha-ha. Now where's your crew?
Where's my crew?
Right there!
If your brother wins, we'll be the
first on hand to congratulate him.
I thought I said good-bye to you
guys. What are you doing down there?
Hello, Mr. Layton. How are ya?
We're hitchhiking to Chicago.
Hey, Chicago!
Mr. Layton, could you use a
couple fugitives from justice?
- I could use able-bodied seamen.
- You could?
If any pass by,
I'll let you know.
We got a job! Get up there! Okay.
Chicago! All right! Give me a hand.
Take it easy!
How've you been?
Fine.
Wait for me.! All right. Come on.
Give me your hand.
You're all right.
It's only water.
Look at that.!
What is that thing?
That's a seal. Sure. A seal?
They make fur coats.
They make fur coats?
How do they teach them
that kind of work?
That's Sharkey. He's the pet of the harbor.
He is? Can we bring him on the boat. Sure.
Sharkey.!
Sharkey.!
Come on.!
Lunchtime!
Lunch? Oh, sardines. Now, now, now.
- You can't eat that.
- Oh, little sardines.
You put a hole
in the can.
Mr. Layton promised to pay for the bus,
and he promised a bonus if we win this race.
Oh, good.
What's the idea?
What's the matter?
Keep your hands to yourself.
Keep your hands
to yourself.
I'm keepin' them on the wheel. Don't
hit me. Keep your hands on the wheel.
You know I'm brittle.
Don't hit me there.
Never mind that.
It's no time to clown.
What'd I tell ya! What are
ya hittin' me in the face for?
Keep your hands on the
wheel. Oh, piffle-diffle!
Here, here! You made me say a bad word.
Keep your remarks to yourself
and keep your hands on the wheel.
Keep your course
northeast by southeast.
You don't know anything
about this sailor stuff.
There's a compass.
Read it.
There's north, northeast;
south, southeast.
What's the matter?
You nervous?
Only around southeast.
Oh, go ahead.
All right, Wellington,
I'll take the wheel.
Give him the wheel. Not
that way. Put that back!
Come on. What kind of
a sailor are you?
Watch out!
Watch yourself.
Am I glad you were there, or else...
We can stand
more canvas, boys.
Ease the main, douse the jib,
and break out the spinnaker.
What are you doing?
Come on, come on.
What are you going down
there for? Gonna eat.
Didn't you hear what
the skipper said? Yeah.
He says peas and giblets and break out
a can of spinach. No, this stuff up here.
How you gonna eat that? Come up here!
You've got to give me something I
can eat. I can't digest that canvas.
Get up here.
Don't fall overboard.
Hold on.
There's too many ropes.
Jibe-o!
Jibe-o! What kind of
double-talk is that?
Jibe-o!
Jibe-o!
Oh, jibe-o!
That's it!
Algy, Algy!
Wellington,
are you all right?
Algy, look at
the big sardine!
Pull me in!
Always playin' around.
Come on.
There you are.
What are you tryin' to do,
rip the man's canvas?
Get in the corner
and behave yourself.
What are you so mean for? He's
always getting into trouble.
Algy.! Algy.! What's he doing now?
Get me up!
Get me up!
Come on, get up. What are you
trying to do, commit suicide?
Oh, always in a mess.
Get up on your feet.
You all right?
Oh, boy!
Behave yourself.
I was standing with sharks!
My other foot!
My other foot!
What's the matter?
The shark got it!
My other foot! There's your other foot.
Who put that there?
Oh, come on.
Snap into it.
Okay, sorry.
There's a little slack
in the canvas.
Don't bother.
I'll get it.
You're quite a sailor,
Miss Marshall.
You've been doing three
men's work on this cruise.
I want you to get
everything you deserve.
I'm sure you'll see
that I get it.
They sure hate each other.
Well enough to get married.
Wouldn't you marry a
pretty girl like that? No.
I'd marry a homely girl. Why?
If you marry a pretty girl,
she's liable to run away.
A homely girl is apt to run
away too. Yeah, but who cares?
Why should we fight? Even the
worst enemies declare a truce.
Then we're
certainly eligible.
Armistice?
Armistice.
Those stars would look lovely in your hair,
especially Polaris.
Polaris! What's it doing up
there? It should be over here!
I told you to
follow that star!
I passed that one. You better
pick me out another one.
We're way off
our course.
Who jimmied that compass? I can't imagine.
The barometer's falling.
You better pick it up
before somebody steps on it.
Did you fix that too? No, I forgot
that one! What does it read now?
A bad storm. We're miles off the sea lanes.
You mean, I'm blazing a new
trail? Right into a typhoon.
That's okay. I can't catch it.
Vaccinated! Never mind that!
How do you like that?
I cut my head off!
All hands on deck!
What'd you say?
All hands on deck.!
All hands on deck?
Yeah.
Okay, here's mine.
Come up here. We've
lost control of the boat.
The finance company's gonna
take it? Come on up here! Hurry!
Boy, what a storm!
Come on,
get up there ahead.
Huh?
Get up there.
Whoo-hoo!
What are you doing? I
said up there! I slipped!
Well, slip back.
Go on, get up there!
Oh, water!
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Whee!
What did I just get through
telling you? Go up there!
I slid!
Now get up there!
Algy.!
- How'd you get out there?
- Get me off!
Man overboard.!
Get me off!
Well, sip it slowly. That's
the last of the water.
Here you are; breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
What's different? That's
all we've had for ten days.
The only difference is, after
this is gone, there isn't any more.
Just a minute. We're
partners, aren't we? Yeah.
We split everything fifty-fifty,
don't we? I know, but...
Never mind "you know. "
I know.
Whether on land or sea,
makes no difference.
Partners are partners. You've
got two beans, I haven't got any.
How come? You wouldn't
want to share that way. No.
Here.
Wait a minute.
What's the matter? It's the small
one. I wanna give you the big one.
My mother always told me to treat
my friends like that. That's nice.
Give the biggest of
everything. That's swell.
Mmm.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
I'm gonna eat this half. Why?
You've got two halves.
I haven't got any.
You shouldn't eat so fast.
What kind of partner are you?
I'm entitled to
half of that bean.
Come on. That's better. There.
You ought
to be ashamed.
He's always trying to
make a hog out of himself.
Sorry. Go ahead and eat it.
This is mine?
Go ahead!
You're gonna let me
eat this whole half?
I've always got to
give you the best of it.
Take it easy and
chew it up good.
Chew it good. I'm gonna make it last.
I'm gonna put it from here
to here and here to here.
And sometimes up here.
It's up there now.
Where's it now?
It's gone.
Sharkey,
boy, am I hungry!
This program is coming to you
from Pete's Bar and Grill.
Stop in for one of our
famous chicken dinners,:
delicious chicken,
mashed potatoes,
corn on the cob,
new green peas,
combination salad,
pie and coffee.
Today's blue-plate special
is spaghetti.
With meatballs? Yes, with meatballs.
Thanks.
I guess we might as well
wash these dishes.
What'll you use for water?
There's an ocean full of it.
Throw them overboard.
We won't need 'em anymore.
Wellington?
What?
I can't stand to see you
starve to death.
I just sneaked Mr. Layton's
gun. I can't eat that!
Who wants you to eat it?
It's the only way out.
You want me to
demolish myself?
It's the only honorable thing
I could do.
I don't think Sharkey likes
the idea. He's tellin' ya off.
There's one less
we'll have to worry about.
What do you mean?
You'll find out.
Are you ashamed
to see me do it?
Don't cry.
You make me feel sad.
Here,
blow your nose.
That's enough. It's the
only handkerchief I got.
I know, but it's clean,
I'm tellin' ya.
Good-bye, Sharkey.
Aw, Sharkey.!
Poor Wellington.
Wellington!
Wellington! Are you all
right? What happened?
I missed.
I'm awfully sorry.
You missed. You... Land!
Land.!
Land, everybody.!
We're saved! Oh, boy! Put the gun down!
Land! How do you like that? Put it away!
Right over there
we got land!
Don't point at me!
Don't point at me!
Maybe we better separate and see
if we can find any signs of life.
If you see anything,
blow this whistle.
Be careful. Some of these islands
are inhabited by cannibals.
Cannibals! Oh! Ooo-ooo. What's the matter?
They're not gonna make
no shore dinner outta me.
Are you sure there're cannibals? Yep.
You were kidding about
those cannibals, weren't you?
You never can tell.
Maybe we'd better
kind of stick together.
That won't be necessary.
You wanna go on alone?
I suppose you think
I'm afraid. Huh!
Oh, Tommy!
Tommy, where are you? Wait a minute.
Oh, Tommy! I guess it would
be foolish if we got separated.
What's the matter?
You're not afraid, are you?
No, but there are animals
around here, wild animals.
Really?
I haven't seen any.
I heard 'em, just as plain... You did, huh?
Come on.
Oh.
All that stuff about cannibals on
the island, that's all bunk. Sure.
Layton's liable to tell you
there's headhunters here.
That's only in storybooks. I've been
around. Certainly. That's ridiculous.
Ooo-ooo-ooo!
Algy.
Algy!
Algy, what did they
do to you?
What's the matter
with you?
Algy! Oh! Here I am.
Don't you ever play jokes
on me! Shh, not so loud.
If there's any cannibals,
you'll attract them to us.
We've gotta do something
to protect ourselves.
Take that shield. That's a shield. A what?
That's a protector.
Get a club.
Get a club! Let me look at it. I got it.
Now you're set...
What are you doing?
That's not for that.
Now if a cannibal comes around,
you're ready to protect me.
Sure.
Sure.
I'm all ready to protect you? Certainly!
I don't want
to get inquisitive,
but who is going
to protect me?
Don't worry
about a thing.
See that whistle?
That'll protect you. Okay.
Everything all right?
That whistle is going
to protect me. Certainly.
How?
I blow the whistle,
he turns to find out
where the noise is.
You hit him over the
head with the club. Oh!
You got it? When you blow the whistle,
and the cannibal turns
around... Turns around.
When he does...
bop on the head!
Now you've got it!
Let's find something to eat.
Wait! Don't you forget to blow the whistle.
I'll blow the whistle
if it's the last thing I do.
If you don't, it'll be
the last thing I do.
You! I ain't a-scared
of you guys!
Whoo! What's the matter?
Can't you take a joke?
This is all right!
Looks like it's been made
from the hull of an old ship.
At least somebody
lives on this island.
Hello in there!
Whoo-hoo!
Hello?
Judging by these books, whoever
lives here must understand English.
We might be in luck. Maybe the
natives are civilized. Unfortunately,
that is not the case.
My name's Varnoff.
Hello.
I'm sorry you find us snooping,
but... We feel kinda silly.
How did you get here? We met with a
storm, lost our sails and here we are.
Yeah, um, what island
is this? It's uncharted.
Don't tell me you were shipwrecked
too? I came quite intentionally.
You see, I'm something
of an archaeologist.
The ancient treasure of
this island fascinates me.
Do you think you could
help us rig some sails?
That shouldn't be impossible. The
natives speak a little English.
But they are an unpredictable
lot, as you'll learn.
I'll take you to the village and
see what can be done. Wonderful!
Come on, Wellington.
Okay.
What's the matter with you? Hey, Algy?
Look at the chicken.
Where?
Chicken?
What a chicken!
Algy,
blow the whistle!
What'd I do with it?
What do you want me to do?
Wait!
Where'd I put it?
Blow the whistle.!
All right.
Blow the whistle!
Now, don't get excited. Why
didn't you blow that whistle?
I forgot where I put it.
You forgot where you put it?
Keep it in your mouth. Give me
the whistle. All right, all right.
All right, take it.
Take it easy.
Here he comes!
Blow the whistle. Not
that.! Nothing comes out!
Not that! The whistle. Blow
the whistle! It won't work!
Blow that whistle.!
Ow.! Ow.!
Not that.!
Blow the whistle.
All right!
How do you like that?
Algy?
Hey, Algy, what happened?
You must be tired.
I think I will scout
the island alone.
Algy, move over.
Stop it.!
All right.!
Stop that. Get your hands
off me! Take it easy.
Miss Joan, Mr. Layton,
won't you help us?
They're gonna make
beef stew out of us.
What'd he say?
You dared to disturb the shrine of
departed warriors and must pay the penalty.
Oh! Look, mister,
tell the head man...
Tell him I'd like to die
my own way.
How do you want
to die?
Of old age.
If not that, Chief,
I'll die
of starvation.
Starvation takes
a long time.
That's all right, I'll wait! I'm willing!
You people are fortunate.
The chief likes your little
fat friend. He thinks he's cute.
He invites you to become his
friends over a cup of native wine.
Hey, Algy,
come here.
What's that funny-looking
thing? That's a bell.
That ain't no bell! I say that's a bell.
It's too big. You see
that? That's a clapper.
That's a clapper? That's
what makes the sound.
Are you trying to tell me this
is a bell? Don't holler at me!
Moolah, Moolah.!
Quiet!
Moolah! Moolah!
What's this "Moolah"
business. Moolah means hero.
There's a legend that
every time that bell rings,
the hero of Mantua will appear
and reconquer for them...
their haunted temple
in the mountains.
Oh, hello.
Thank you, girls.
What a beautiful violet.
That luana, love flower.
Me Luana,
love flower too!
You love flower? All girls
on island named after flower.
How do you like that? These giggling
kids are all named after flowers.
Me Amo,
passion flower.
Me Ferna,
beauty flower.
You Algy,
wallflower.
Moolah, Moolah.
What's this Moolah?
You are big hero!
Me a big hero?
And you shall marry Luana,
daughter of chief. That's me.
No, no, Whaba, no!
Hey, hey,
just a minute!
Kid, do you need help? Yes.
All right. Listen, you.
I was talking to the young lady.
You're big enough to help
yourself. Luana no marry Moolah!
Marry me!
Why should I marry you?
You don't appeal to me. Bah!
Bah!
Bah!
Bah!
Ha-ha!
Didn't even hurt.
Lovely Luana
Ooo-ahh-ooo
Flower of love
Lovely Luana
Ooo-ahh-ooo
Pretty South Sea flower
Lovely Luana
You haunt
the tropic night
Oh, but you're lovely
When the moonbeams
shower
Angelic blossom
You bloom
in pale moonlight
If you should see
Luana bloom
The night
a full moon glows
It means you'll find
your loved one
That's how
the legend goes
Lovely Luana
In your
starlit hour
Lovely Luana
Please bloom for me
tonight
Love your Luana
Love your
South Sea flower
Kiss your Luana
She blooms for you
tonight
Ohhh!
Moolah!
Hello! Hello!
How are ya?
Ooo, Moolah!
What are you doing? See
you girls later tonight.
Algy and I was playin'
under the tree.
This is a very old tree. She
says it's a very old tree.
Lovers have met under
this tree for years.
Ooo-ooo-ooo!
Well?
Why don't you go home? I will not.
After all, you know... Never mind!
But me and... All right, keep quiet.
I know, but...
What's the matter?
Go on home! Somebody's
calling you. I will not.
There's nobody calling.
There is not. There is too.
Algy? That's you, I heard you. Sit down.
Algy, do me a favor,
please? Go home. I will not!
Look, two's company and three's
a crowd. All right, go home.
Okay. No!
You go!
I will not. After all,
she's my Latin beauty.
So? Aren't ya? I hope.
Luana, what was you saying
about this old tree?
This tree is called the
tree of truth. Tree of truth?
Yes. If you tell a lie
under this tree,
something will happen to you. Yeah?
I got nothing to worry about
'cause I never tell lies. Ohh!
See? You told a lie. I was only kiddin'.
What goes on here?
Take it easy. I ain't
gonna tell more lies!
Come here.
What's the matter?
Every time I talk, I
get hit. What can I do?
Tell her a story. They love
stories. Tell her a story?
I got a pip!
Go ahead.
Luana, I gotta
tell you a story.
Once upon a time,
there was a merchandising agent.
He saw a farmhouse.
He knocked on the door and...
Wait a minute. Just a minute!
Get your hand off my head!
Just a minute.
You can't tell that story.
I'll tell the one about my father,
the engineer on the railroad.
Why didn't you tell that one in
the first place? I don't know.
Go ahead. No one likes to
talk about their own parentage.
Go ahead. I got to tell another
story 'cause he didn't like the first.
This story's
about my father.
Once upon a time, my father
was an engineer on the railroad.
He was going 70 miles per hour
down the track.
The train stopped and
he didn't know what was wrong.
He went into the tool box
and he couldn't find no tools.
What did he do?
He went to the farmhouse...
Just a minute! Enough is
enough. I didn't finish yet.
That's the same story. Is it?
Same story and you know
it. What do you know?
Can I tell the story if I put a
whistle with the train? Certainly not!
Okay. Why don't you tell
her something interesting,
something about our country
and some great people?
You mean history?
History! There's the idea.
Now you're talking sense.
Honey, I gotta change my story.
He didn't like number one and number
two. I'm gonna like number three.
I'm gonna tell you about the
history of our great country.
That's swell.
One time many years ago,
somebody threw some tea
in the ocean,
and there was a lot of confusion
about it.
Paul Revere, he was a big man at
that time. He had a wonderful horse.
He got on his horse and he
said, "The Redcoats are coming!"
He was going down a road.
He came to a door...
No you don't! I didn't even
get the guy off the horse.
Never mind that! Let me
get the guy off the horse!
That's the same story.
Please, wait a minute.
Moolah, what did
the man want?
Well, you see, he... Now!
Oh, he...
he, he...
Moolah,
what did he want?
He wanted
a glass of milk.
I realize these visitors
may disrupt our plans,
but I have a way
of making use of them.
We got plenty out of the last guys we kidded
the natives into sending up to the temple.
Why don't we call it quits?
Not until we get the
sacred ruby of Mantua.
Do you realize
what it's worth?
Okay.
But who's gonna be the next
sacrifice? Leave that to me.
Tabor, tomorrow night there's to be a
feast in honor of these new arrivals.
When the festivities
are at their height,
I want the volcano
to erupt.
Make it very effective.
Use plenty of fireworks.
Moolah!
Kneel.
Moolah.
Moolah.
My son.
My daddy.
Moolah.
Moolah.
Moolah,
Wellington.
Remember,
you marry Luana,
you be dead husband.
Get your hand
off me!
I am a hero.
You are a stinker.
What you mean?
What you call stinker?
Well, that's...
No!
You see a stinker...
a stinker's a great man!
You bet your life
me stinker.
My father was stinker.
My brother stinker.
My whole family stinkers!
Yeah, but you're the biggest
stinker of'em all. Thank you.
Thank you.
You're the biggest stinker on the
whole island. Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
Him no stinker.
No, no!
Ah, no!
You no stinker.
Too small.
Only me stinker.
Yeah. Biggest stinker
I ever saw!
Thank you.
Thank you.
You marry Luana...
Yeah.
I don't think he means a shave. He don't.
Wellington seems to be doing all
right. Luana's a very pretty girl.
Second prettiest girl on the
island. You're too complimentary.
You haven't been dipping in that cava
bowl, have you? Oh, no, not a drop.
This is your wedding feast. I warn you.
Go ahead and eat. I
can't. I lost my appetite.
Take a drink.
Maybe it'll bring it back.
Yes, you will take
a drink with me!
Your last drink!
Oh. Algy, let's you and I
get out of here. Oh, behave.
I'm scared. I can feel
chills running up my spine.
Up and down your spine. No, up my spine!
They got no strength
for a return trip.
I'm gettin'
a Mickey.
Oh.
Drink.
Look over there.
Who's that?
Drink!
Drink?
Drink.
Drink.
Oh.
Oh, look at
the sky!
Drink!
Hello, there!
Drink!
Drink? Drink. Drink, drink!
Drink.
Drink.
More? More, more, more? Drink, drink, yeah.
I'm so tired.
Oh great one
Oh great one
Oh great one
Oh burning fountain
Oh great one
Oh great one
- Vingo
- Oh great one
Fiery god
of the mountain
Vingo
oh burning fountain
Shower your message
from above us
Now that you've shown us
that you love us
Vingo, lead us to happiness
with your light
We offer thanks
as you blaze in the night
- Vingo
- Oh great one
- You are appeased
- Oh great one
- Now you are pleased
- Oh great one
- Oh Vingo
- Oh great one
We offer thanksgiving
to you, Vingo
There's a beat everybody
really ought to know
It's a treat, stomp your feet
to VingoJingo VingoJingo
VingoJingo Vingo
Everyone ought to learn
the way the rhythms go
It's a treat, stomp your feet
to VingoJingo VingoJingo
VingoJingo Vingo
Take some native cava
Add volcanic heat
Mix it up with lava
And set it to
a tom-tom beat
Now the beat's got the island
rocking to and fro
It's a treat, stomp your feet
to VingoJingo VingoJingo
VingoJingo Vingo
Ahh-oh oh-oh
Vingo, Vingo
It's a beat everybody
really ought to know
It's a treat
Stomp your feet
To VingoJingo
VingoJingo Vingo
Everyone ought to learn
the way the rhythms go
It's a treat, stomp your feet
to VingoJingo VingoJingo
VingoJingo Vingo
Take some native cava
Add volcanic heat
Mix it up with lava
and set it to
A tom-tom beat
Now the beat's
got the island
Rocking to and fro
It's a treat, stomp your feet
to VingoJingo VingoJingo
VingoJingo Vingo
VingoJingo VingoJingo
VingoJingo Vingo
Vingo! Vingo!
Moolah pigi.
Vingo.!
What are they talking
about? The legend of Moolah.
He is to marry the daughter
of the chief.
But only after he has proved himself the
hero of Mantua. I don't want to be no hero.
You're to try where five others
have failed. What have they tried?
To break the taboo, to pass beyond the
temple to the forbidden side of the mountain.
You mean, five guys went
through there? Mm-hmm.
Nobody's ever come back? Uh-uh.
Who's gonna be
number six?
You are.
Oh.
All right,
take it easy.
You most good man
on island.
No, Chief. Not me.
I'm not a good man.
No, I'm not.
Chief, would you call a kid that
plays hooky four days a week, good? No.
Would you call a kid that tells
tattletales, good? No.
You wouldn't call that
a good boy, would ya?
I'm a bad boy!
Wait a minute.
You can't run yourself down
like this. Shut up, will ya?
Quiet! Keep out of this. Chief,
I've known this boy all my life.
Shut up. He's starting
to believe me. Quiet!
I've never met a finer,
more upright and honest a boy.
Will you keep your mouth shut? Keep quiet!
This boy is an honorary member
of the Camp Fire Girls.
Troop 35. Now shut up. Keep quiet!
You know what this means? My
life is in danger. Your life?
Certainly! If I go up there, think of me!
Think of the rest of the people
on the island!
I'm sorry.
Luana.
I'm always thinking
of myself anyway.
I'm a killjoy.
I'll say you are.
All right.
If that's what it means,
I'll go into that temple.
I'll face danger!
I knew you would.
I don't care if the
boogeyman's in there. Atta boy.
I'll get him! There's one
thing I want you to do.
What's that?
Talk me out of it.
You like that speech?
Hey, Father! Father!
They're taking your son!
What makes you think
Varnoff's in on this?
It's just a hunch, but
I want to protect Wellington.
I think Varnoff's responsible for the
disappearance of those five men in the temple.
You have to prove it to me.
That's what I intend to do.
You and your
melodramatic plots.
So you think I'm melodramatic,
huh? Take a look at that.
Fireworks.!
Hello, Varnoff?
What is that?
Hello, Varnoff?
It's a radio!
Shh!
Hello? Hello? Varnoff? Yes, what is it?
Yes, yes,
what is it?
I want to make a checkup to
see if we understood everything.
Let's hear it again
just to make sure.
The idea is to get the jewels and
hold the little fat guy as hostage...
until we're ready
to leave the island.
You're going to capture him
when he goes into the temple?
That was the understanding,
wasn't it?
It was, but we may
have to change things.
Oh, will we?
Tie them up.
Let me go!
Stop it! Stop it!
I'll see you people later. I have
to make an appearance at the temple.
Me and my
melodramatic plots, huh?
If Moolah go,
I go too.
That ain't a bad idea.
No.!
Moolah go alone.
Oh no.
Chief, what is this?
Sacredjewel of Mantua.
So long you wear this,
you no can die.
That's the best news I ever
heard. That's wonderful!
Oh, boy! The chief says as long as I
wear this, nothing can happen to me.
That's a wonderful jewel.
Ain't that gorgeous?
Ooo-ooo!
All right.
That's enough! You told
me that thing was tame.
Shh.
Go ahead up there.
Luana, good-bye.
All right, that's enough.
That's enough!
If that don't make a man
out of me, nothing else will.
Forward... march!
Algy? Algy! Yes, yes. I'm still here.
My bosom pal!
I'm sorry.
This is good-bye.
Good-bye.
Wait a minute.
Here.
What's this for?
That's the dollar I owe
you. The dollar you owe me?
You pick out a fine time
to pay me!
Where am I gonna spend
a dollar up there?
He gives me the dollar now
that he owes me six months ago.
Go on up those stairs.
Be brave!
You want these people
to think I'm a coward?
No, sir. I'm sorry. It
won't happen again. Atta boy.
Go ahead.
Nobody home.
Now I'm all alone.
Algy always told me
when I was alone to sing.
Deep in the heart
ofTexas
Give me that jewel.
I can't give that to you. It's my
life protection. Give me that jewel!
I got to take my hat off
to give it to you.
I can't get it over my head
unless I do.
Would you mind... holding...
my hat?
Algy, don't shoot!
Don't shoot!
Go get him!
Ooh! Ooh!
Ooooh.!
Ooo! Ooo!
Get him! Get him now!
Algy, hello!
Nothing happened to you? Not yet.
- Boss, there he is!
- Over to the statue!
He's somewhere in here.
They certainly disappeared.
Let's go.!
They're around here.
Scatter and look for 'em.
Ooo-ooo!
Gotta get that little guy before
he gets out of this temple.
I think I better stop drinking
Varnoff's whiskey.
Don't you ever
do that again!
What's the idea?
Shut up!
Did you look behind
those statues?
No. The boys
will take care of that.
Did you hear something?
No, did you?
The place must be haunted.
Let's take a look around.
Whoo!
So there you are!
Get him!
Don't let him get away!
Wait a minute.
I'm out of breath.
Yeah, me too.
I get like this
every time I run up stairs.
I'm a little too fat.
Okay, let's go!
Don't let him get away.
Get him, boss.
He landed on top
of the tree!
Tommy.
Shh.
Everything all right?
They're tied up.
Get the small boat ready for
a getaway. I'll be right down.
Keep an eye out
for Tabor.
Wha...
Oh! Oh!
Tommy!
Tommy, are you... You
come with me, young lady.
- Come on.!
- Let me go.!
He landed in that tree? Yeah!
Is that the tree? I don't
know. They all look alike.
Got to find him. Yeah.
Scatter out and look for him.
This is just about
the spot he would've...
Bull's-eye!
Get it, Wellington.
Come on, Algy.
More ammunition.
Another bull's-eye.
Algy, pick me out a big heavy one.
I wanna hit him right on the head.
Oh, boy, Algy!
You hit him right on the head!
What are you hitting me for?
Give me another one.
Give it to 'em,
Wellington!
Well, I guess that's that!
Algy, get
down off the tree.
Ow! Ow!
Ooo-ooo-ooo!
Algy! Algy?
There he is.
Come on!
Hang on, Wellington.
I'll get you in a minute.
Whaba!
Pretty Whaba!
Ha-ha!
I fix you.
Algy.! Get me off
this jail horse.!
Get me off!
Come on, let's find him.
He fell off right here.
Come back!
I can't go no further.
I gotta make a stand for it.
Put 'em up! Come on, I'll
fight the whole five of yous.
What's the matter?
You scared of me? Fight!
Moolah, the hero.!
I'll fight you southpaw.
Boo!
Moolah, the hero.
Hmm!
Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo-whoo!
He went the other way.
Come on, fellas!
Wellington?
He went that way.
Come on!
It's water! How are we gonna
get across? Wait a minute.
The river. Uh-oh.
Come here.
What are you gonna do?
Grab a vine and follow me.
Come on, come on!
Wait on the other side
for me!
Here I come!
What kind of vine is that?
What kind of...
Okay!
Whoo!
Stop it.!
Leave me alone.
Keep quiet!
Get this boat going.
Will you let Miss Joan
out of that boat?
Hey.! Hey, you.!
Preserve yourself, Miss Joan.
I'll help you.
Sharkey.!
Closer, Sharkey,
closer.
Good boy, Sharkey.
Wait a minute.
I gotcha. Go ahead.
Let her go,
you nasty villain!
Whaa!
Wellington?
Wellington, you'll drown!
I don't know
what I'm doing here!
Wellington, there's
a swordfish behind you!
Look out.!
Whaa! Whaa!
Put the boards together.
Put 'em together!
Whoa-oh!
Give him a short uppercut
to thejaw.!
Whoo! Whoo!
Look out, Wellington.!
Don't!
No, no, don't!
Oh, whoo, whoo!
No, no!
Go on, sock him!
Come on, Wellington!
Look out!
Get this thing off me!
Look out!
You're going the wrong way!
Joan, you stay. I'll get you
with this eggbeater.
I'll putt-putt-putt you
all the way in.
Putt-putt-putt.
Putt-putt-putt.
Moolah,
you are wonderful hero.
You saved all my people on
the island. It was nothing.
Here's the boat ready to
sail and where are the boys?
You can't expect a hero like
Wellington to run out on his public.
He saved my life. He mopped
up Varnoff and his gang.
Uh-oh.
Wellington, come on.
We'll miss the boat!
Get out of here.
Luana, cut it out!
This is no time
for that sort of thing!
Come on.!
Whoo-whoo!
Whoo-whoo-whoo!
ten blocks this way,
ten blocks this way
and ten blocks this way.
Why, it doesn't even
have to make a left-hand turn.
Gone! Completely
disappeared! No trace of it!
How in heaven's name does
anybody steal a crosstown bus?
What are the
drivers' names?
Algernon Shaw Harring
and Wellington Phlug.
Ah, this is no time
to make jokes!
They're new employees.
Shall I call the police?
And have us made the laughingstock of
the country? Get a private detective.
Yes, sir.
Crosstown bus disappears
right under our noses!
Wait 'til I get my hands
on bus number 5111.
Of all the bus drivers in
Chicago, I had to pick those two.
I should never have let you talk us
into leaving our crosstown bus route.
What are you worrying about?
We'll get a promotion. Yeah.
We'll have our pictures
in the papers.
I know what it's gonna say.
"Wanted by the police. "
Nothing of the kind.
Get a load of that.
"Tommy Layton
enters yacht race. "
You mean he's gonna enter this bus in
the boat race? Ye... No, certainly not!
After all...
Oh, will you keep your eyes
open? I can't. I'm sleepy.
I didn't get no sleep in that motel. Why?
Some dummy put the bed
in the closet.
It's a Murphy bed. Murphy
should have slept in it.
What are you...
Hold on to that.
Okay, I'll take it.
Drive straight.
We're running out of gas.
Running out of gas? Oh. Yes.
What are you driving
so fast for?
I got to get to a station
before we run out of gas. No, no.
How you gonna pay for gas? What
are you gonna use for dough?
Don't worry about the dough. I'll see
if I can get away with a baseball story.
- Hey, you like baseball?
- Do I? I never miss a game.
The last half of the 9th,
the score is tied.
Three men on base. Up comes
DiMagg. Three balls, two strikes.
The pitcher winds up,
throws... Zowie, a home run!
The Yanks win five to one. We
sure put it over, didn't we?
Yep, we sure put it over! We certainly did!
Hey!
Hey, come back here!
How do you like that!
What happened?
I just got gypped by a
couple wise guys. Yeah?
Where's the
nearest gas station?
Never mind him. Fill it up. Fill it up.
Come on, girls, relax.
There we are.
How'd you enjoy the
trip? The next one's mine.
What are you doing?
- How'd you enjoy the trip?
- Fine, Tommy.
Come along, girls.
Hey, pardon me, but aren't
you Tommy Layton? Yeah.
And we're his nurses. Lucky patient.
I'm from the Oakmont Herald.
How's for a picture?
Sure.
Good.
Thanks, girls.
Come on. Let's get back.
I've had enough air.
That'll be $12.50 for the
gas. $12.50 for the gas.
Tell him to put it on the
cuff. Put it on the cuff.
What do you mean,
"Put it on the cuff"?
What...
Come on. We'll get it off
Mr. Layton. No fighting.
Mr. Layton, the man wants
$12.50 for the gas.
I'll settle everything
at the end of the trip.
Right now, money is
secondary. Just a minute.
How 'bout giving me a
little secondary? All right.
Here's $20.00. Keep the
change. $20.00. Keep the change.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
What's the matter with you?
What's wrong?
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Pay the man. How? The girl took the money.
What girl? The one with the
long red stuff and head too.
Oh, how are we going
to pay for this gas?
Wait, I've got it!
Go tell him the baseball story.
The baseball story? The old one? You know.
They don't know it out
here. They don't know it?
Certainly not. The one about the guy on...
Yes, yes, yes,
you know it. Go ahead.
That was $12.50, wasn't it? That's right.
$12.50,
ha-ha, $12.50.
You like baseball? Yeah, I'm
just crazy about baseball.
I think we got 'em.
That's all there is to it.
In fact, I'm just dying to have
somebody tell me a baseball story.
Algy, you better tell him. Why?
He's just dying to have somebody
tell him a baseball story.
Aren't you dying to
tell him? I'm just dyin'.
Go find out if he heard
the game yesterday. Okay.
Did you hear the game yesterday? No.
He didn't hear it.
So?
It was some game. It was the last
of the 9th and the score was tied.
Are you sure you didn't hear the game? No.
You read it in the papers? No.
Hear it on the radio? No!
Okay.
What's the matter? I don't
think it's gonna work.
Is he askin' too many questions?
He knows too many answers.
Go over and tell him
the story. Go on, go on.
Okay.
Hurry up.
Joe DiMaggio... Was at bat,
three balls, two strikes.
The pitcher winds up, throws.
DiMaggio swings... Zowie, a home run!
The Yanks win
five to one!
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Come here, smart guy. Two fellows put
that gag over on me a few minutes ago.
I said the next guy that
did it, I'd break his leg!
What's that got to do with
my change? What change?
My change from the $20 bill
I gave you. You gave me... Oh!
I beg your pardon, sir. That's okay.
After all, you must
trust everybody. Yes, sir.
Here's a tip for you. That's
very generous of you, sir.
That's okay. Thank you. Thank you, sir.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha!
Ooo-ooo-ooo!
Ah, boy,
that was swell.
One more?
No, one's enough.
I gotta go for another one. Wait a minute.
One's enough. If you're
a sissy, I can't help it.
I like the stuff.
What do you mean?
Scotch and soda.
Cuba libra.
Make mine a brandy.
Can't handle it, huh?
Getting old. Not me, I got a
hollow leg. Fill it up again!
My friend, Algy, don't think
I can handle this stuff.
Thank you. Oh boy.! Whoo-whoo.!
I tell ya,
when I go for this stuff,
I really go for it.
I know, but one of those is enough. Nah!
Come on, let's...
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Take it easy.
Get it out.
That would have cost fifty
cents if you had swallowed that.
Do I worry
'Cause you're
stepping out
Do I worry
'Cause you've got me
in doubt
Though your kisses
aren't right
Do I give a bag of beans
Do I
stay home every night
And read my magazines
Am I frantic
'Cause we've
lost the spark
Is there panic
When it starts
turning dark
And when
evening shadows creep
Do I lose any sleep
over you
Do I worry
You can bet your life
I do
Do I worry
When the ice man calls
Do I worry
If Niagara falls
Though you treat me
just like dirt
Think I give a snap
Are my feelin's
really hurt
When you're sittin'
in somebody else's lap
Am I curious
When the gossip flies
Am I furious
'Bout your
little white lies
When all
our evenings end
'Cause you
got a sick friend
That needs you
Do I worry
Honey, you know
doggone well I do
Now am I frantic
'Cause we've
lost the spark
Is there panic
When it starts
turning dark
And when
evening shadows creep
Do I lose any sleep
over you
Do I worry
You can bet your life
I do
Think you can walk?
Oh, I'll make it.
Right.
Right.
What's the matter?
I should've never mixed them. Mixed what?
The chocolate with the
vanilla. Let's go to bed.
Hello! Whoo! Come on.
I'm sorry, very sorry. Sorry.
Oh, pictures.
Are they your children?
Hey, looks like somebody I know. That's us.
You admit it? Whoever took that
picture didn't do a good job on me.
Here's a nice invitation for
ya. That's very nice of ya.
Get this: The state of
Illinois sends us greetings.
I send greetings right back to
Illinois. I'll send them a postcard.
Do you know what that is? An invitation.
The state of Illinois would
like you to be their guest.
Over the weekend? I'd
say for quite a few years.
No, I couldn't sponge
on anybody that long.
We work for a bus concern in Chicago and
they wouldn't give us that much time off.
It was the bus company that
wants you sent away for a rest.
I don't wanna go. No!
Algy, you don't wanna go?
That's being ungrateful. They're
gonna try to give us a vacation.
What's the name of the hotel?
A place called "the pen. "
I never heard of that
hotel. That's not a hotel.
It's a place with big walls
around it. Oh, a private place.
Yes, plenty private! Good.
They've got men
walking around the walls.
They're picketing the
place? They're not picketing.
They're up there to make sure
that you don't get out.
If you try to, they...
Brr-brr-brr! I understand now!
You mean prison guards.
Those guys are tough.
When you get inside those
pens... Pens? Uh-huh.
Hotel pen?
Certainly.
Do... do...
A cop!
Certainly!
I beg your pardon.
Are you looking for
someone? I'm looking for...
Oh, I beg your pardon.
How do you do?
Hey, look!
Maybe he can make us
disappear. Let's find out.
Oh, archery.
Oh, come on.
Come on.
Hey, look!
Oh, Marco the Magician.
What are you...
Wait!
Why don't you knock on the
door? I don't give a rap anymore.
Ah, bon soir, monsieur.
Oh, come on.
Hey!
Come on.
Pardon me. Did you see bus drivers come
in here? Je suis Marco, le Magicien.
Yeah, they stole a bus.
I've got a warrant for these
guys and now they've disappeared.
Ah, disappeared!
Oui, oui, oui.
Une fois, deux fois,
trois fois.
Maintenant, je vais
le faire chapper...
avec un mouchoir...
What are you doing?
This guy must be crazy.
Bruler, commencer par...
Wait a minute!
You can't do that!
Disappeared.
What do you mean setting my warrant
on fire? I'll arrest you for arson.
Un instant.
Voila.
C'est un truc
tres simple.
Au revoir.
That guy
is all right.
You magicians
certainly get around.
You go out there
and pop up here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do me a favor.
Oui, oui. Do that trick
over for me, will ya?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, where you make
it disappear? Oh, oui, oui.
Where you burn it up?
Oui, oui.!
Oui, oui.! No, no. Do
it like you did before.
I want to learn it all; fold
it up... Oh, viva la sardines.
Yes, yes.
Oui, oui. No, wrap the
handkerchief around it.
Take my handkerchief.
Now burn it up.
Burn it up. Come on. Oui, oui, oui.
Yes, sir.
Oui, of course.
Now pull it
out of my collar.
Wha... Wha...? The collar!
Pull it outta the collar.
Come on!
The collar!
Pull it
outta the collar!
No, the collar. Pull it outta
there. Don't you understand?
I'm sorry, I don't speak
English. That's different then.
Hey, what are you
pullin'?
Another one. How do you do? How are ya?
I suppose you're
Marco the Magician too.
No, I'm his twin brother. Twin brother?
Then how come you speak English
and he don't? He was born in France.
If you're twins, why weren't
you born in France with him?
I was traveling with
my aunt at the time.
I'm tired of this
hocus-pocus.
Let me see a trick. If it lays an
egg, you've got explainin' to do.
If it lays an egg?
Yeah.
I'm glad
you mentioned eggs.
Take your hat off, please.
Hold your hat in your hand.
Here I have a common,
ordinary egg.
I am going to break the egg in
your hat and do a trick. In my hat?
In your hat and
over your ears.
Now, I'm gonna
break the egg.
There you are. See that? I'll
put that in too. I don't care.
Now, I get my ma...
Oh, hold it over there.
Is something wrong? Plenty,
yeah. Hold it over there.
Hocus-pocus,
diddly-okus. And now...
The egg is still
in your hat.
Is something wrong?
Uh-huh.
I gotta use more eggs.
Hold the cigar, please.
Now, I take it...
You didn't see nothing wrong?
No, the egg is still there.
I'm glad
you saw it.
I crack it again
like this.
I put another egg in there.
Then I put in a little salt.
A little
salt and pepper.
I get
the outboard motor.
There you are.
And now...
we got an omelet.
Hmm, all right.
What do you know? Get them
out. Make them disappear.
You don't have toast with you, do you? No.
Make them disappear?
Yeah, make 'em disappear.
I got a card trick...
Never mind the card trick!
Get those eggs
outta my hat!
I got a cute trick...
Never mind!
Come on, listen.
Get those eggs
outta my hat!
Me and my brother, Marco,
used to do this trick.
Then why can't you get 'em out?
That's the part Marco knows.
Somethin' wrong?
Oh, ah-hah!
Ah-ho! Ah-ho!
Ah-hah! Ah-hah!
Ah-ho!
Ooo-ooo-ooo!
Hey, Wellington!
Hurry up.
Turn around.
Get down!
Ah!
Hey, fellas, give me a hand, will ya?
Help me get this box
on that truck.
Now, wise guys, I've got
you where I want you.
I'm gonna ship you
by fast freight.
You didn't think I'd catch you, did ya?
Ho-ho. Come on! At least I got you!
You think you can
get away from me, huh?
Come on. Get in there.
That'll hold you 'til
I catch your pal. Yeah?
You got outta that box
but you won't get outta there!
I'll guarantee that.!
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Algy, come on,
I got him!
You got who? The cop.
I got him in the trunk.
Swell! All by myself, I
put him right in the trunk.
Behind, in the back. Not
in the back, in the trunk.
Behind ya. Not behind me. He's under me.
I'll give you a peek.
Come here. Look.
Look!
All good things
must come to an end.
I think while I can
still recognize you,
I'll kiss you all
good-bye.
Tommy!
Tommy!
Why do I always
have to be last?
Is that as hard
as you can slap?
- That's hard enough.!
- What's the matter, Sis?
Just a kissing Tom. Slight
case of mistaken identity.
Not on my part.
Roger, this is Tommy Layton,
the sportsmanlike yachtsman
who stole your crew.
Wait a minute. I don't know
what my agent did, but...
You are Tom Layton? Yeah. So what?
Allow me to introduce myself. Roger!
I don't think he can take it. This
is hardly the place to find out.
He's right. Besides, I have a much
better idea on the crew situation.
A much better idea!
Yes, yes
Now brothers and sisters Yes, hallelujah
We all give the jazz a stride Yes, Elmer
To have one of them good,
old jam sessions Uh-hum
Dishin' out some solid jive Hallelujah
I want all you hepcats
and jitterbugs Yes, yes
Come on up here and get
in the groove Glory, glory
'Cause when that rhythm
hits ya What do we do
Son, that's the time
to move
Stand up and shout
brother, shout
Shout, brother, shout
When that
rhythm hits you
Shout, brother, shout
Don't be afraid
Don't hang your heads
Stand up and shout
brother, shout
Brother, shout
Hallelujah
Hey, when you get
that feeling
Runnin'down
your spine
That's that
good ol' rhythm
It'll drive you
outta your mind
Shout, brother, shout
You'll soon find out
you will be happy
If you shout
brother, shout
Hallelujah
Shout, brother, shout
Shout
brother, shout
When that
rhythm hits you
Shout, brother, shout
Don't be afraid
Don't hang your head
Stand up and shout
brother, shout
Brother, shout
Yes, yes
This don't look like the right
road to Chicago. Just keep going.
Oooh!
What's the matter now?
Dead end.
All right.
Back up.
I gotta back up.
Go ahead.
Don't you hear me?
Back up!
I gotta back up.
Go ahead.
What's the matter
with ya? Back up!
I'm gonna back up! Do as the man tells ya.
Go ahead.
Will you go ahead
and back up?
How can you go ahead
and then back up?
Back up.
Go ahead.
I gotta back up then go... What
kind of bus do you think this is?
I'll satisfy the both of
yous. I'll go sideways.
Back up!
Back up!
Hello, Sven.
Hello, Mr. Layton.
When I wired you to get me a
crew, I didn't expect you to...
I know,
I make mistake.
I steal the crew
from the Shamrock,
but everything's
straightened out.
Crew go back to old job.
What did you do, lay them off?
Your sister told me you
couldn't get here for the race.
My sister! I haven't got any sister.
Why, Brother,
how you do talk!
Hey.
What are you doing on my
boat? Just a little sabotage.
You stole my brother's crew
and I stole it back.
There seems to be some misunderstanding.
I didn't get into town...
That's your story! You
don't want to listen, huh?
All right. You asked for
it. Hey, that's my dinghy!
You won't need it. You're
going for a little joyride.
Leave me alone!
Take your hands off me!
How do you dare
manhandle me like this!
Sven, up anchor and
let's get underway.
Oh, no, I don't
go on no cruise.
Why not? I get seasick every
time I leave the harbor.
How do you like that?
Ha-ha-ha. Now where's your crew?
Where's my crew?
Right there!
If your brother wins, we'll be the
first on hand to congratulate him.
I thought I said good-bye to you
guys. What are you doing down there?
Hello, Mr. Layton. How are ya?
We're hitchhiking to Chicago.
Hey, Chicago!
Mr. Layton, could you use a
couple fugitives from justice?
- I could use able-bodied seamen.
- You could?
If any pass by,
I'll let you know.
We got a job! Get up there! Okay.
Chicago! All right! Give me a hand.
Take it easy!
How've you been?
Fine.
Wait for me.! All right. Come on.
Give me your hand.
You're all right.
It's only water.
Look at that.!
What is that thing?
That's a seal. Sure. A seal?
They make fur coats.
They make fur coats?
How do they teach them
that kind of work?
That's Sharkey. He's the pet of the harbor.
He is? Can we bring him on the boat. Sure.
Sharkey.!
Sharkey.!
Come on.!
Lunchtime!
Lunch? Oh, sardines. Now, now, now.
- You can't eat that.
- Oh, little sardines.
You put a hole
in the can.
Mr. Layton promised to pay for the bus,
and he promised a bonus if we win this race.
Oh, good.
What's the idea?
What's the matter?
Keep your hands to yourself.
Keep your hands
to yourself.
I'm keepin' them on the wheel. Don't
hit me. Keep your hands on the wheel.
You know I'm brittle.
Don't hit me there.
Never mind that.
It's no time to clown.
What'd I tell ya! What are
ya hittin' me in the face for?
Keep your hands on the
wheel. Oh, piffle-diffle!
Here, here! You made me say a bad word.
Keep your remarks to yourself
and keep your hands on the wheel.
Keep your course
northeast by southeast.
You don't know anything
about this sailor stuff.
There's a compass.
Read it.
There's north, northeast;
south, southeast.
What's the matter?
You nervous?
Only around southeast.
Oh, go ahead.
All right, Wellington,
I'll take the wheel.
Give him the wheel. Not
that way. Put that back!
Come on. What kind of
a sailor are you?
Watch out!
Watch yourself.
Am I glad you were there, or else...
We can stand
more canvas, boys.
Ease the main, douse the jib,
and break out the spinnaker.
What are you doing?
Come on, come on.
What are you going down
there for? Gonna eat.
Didn't you hear what
the skipper said? Yeah.
He says peas and giblets and break out
a can of spinach. No, this stuff up here.
How you gonna eat that? Come up here!
You've got to give me something I
can eat. I can't digest that canvas.
Get up here.
Don't fall overboard.
Hold on.
There's too many ropes.
Jibe-o!
Jibe-o! What kind of
double-talk is that?
Jibe-o!
Jibe-o!
Oh, jibe-o!
That's it!
Algy, Algy!
Wellington,
are you all right?
Algy, look at
the big sardine!
Pull me in!
Always playin' around.
Come on.
There you are.
What are you tryin' to do,
rip the man's canvas?
Get in the corner
and behave yourself.
What are you so mean for? He's
always getting into trouble.
Algy.! Algy.! What's he doing now?
Get me up!
Get me up!
Come on, get up. What are you
trying to do, commit suicide?
Oh, always in a mess.
Get up on your feet.
You all right?
Oh, boy!
Behave yourself.
I was standing with sharks!
My other foot!
My other foot!
What's the matter?
The shark got it!
My other foot! There's your other foot.
Who put that there?
Oh, come on.
Snap into it.
Okay, sorry.
There's a little slack
in the canvas.
Don't bother.
I'll get it.
You're quite a sailor,
Miss Marshall.
You've been doing three
men's work on this cruise.
I want you to get
everything you deserve.
I'm sure you'll see
that I get it.
They sure hate each other.
Well enough to get married.
Wouldn't you marry a
pretty girl like that? No.
I'd marry a homely girl. Why?
If you marry a pretty girl,
she's liable to run away.
A homely girl is apt to run
away too. Yeah, but who cares?
Why should we fight? Even the
worst enemies declare a truce.
Then we're
certainly eligible.
Armistice?
Armistice.
Those stars would look lovely in your hair,
especially Polaris.
Polaris! What's it doing up
there? It should be over here!
I told you to
follow that star!
I passed that one. You better
pick me out another one.
We're way off
our course.
Who jimmied that compass? I can't imagine.
The barometer's falling.
You better pick it up
before somebody steps on it.
Did you fix that too? No, I forgot
that one! What does it read now?
A bad storm. We're miles off the sea lanes.
You mean, I'm blazing a new
trail? Right into a typhoon.
That's okay. I can't catch it.
Vaccinated! Never mind that!
How do you like that?
I cut my head off!
All hands on deck!
What'd you say?
All hands on deck.!
All hands on deck?
Yeah.
Okay, here's mine.
Come up here. We've
lost control of the boat.
The finance company's gonna
take it? Come on up here! Hurry!
Boy, what a storm!
Come on,
get up there ahead.
Huh?
Get up there.
Whoo-hoo!
What are you doing? I
said up there! I slipped!
Well, slip back.
Go on, get up there!
Oh, water!
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Whee!
What did I just get through
telling you? Go up there!
I slid!
Now get up there!
Algy.!
- How'd you get out there?
- Get me off!
Man overboard.!
Get me off!
Well, sip it slowly. That's
the last of the water.
Here you are; breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
What's different? That's
all we've had for ten days.
The only difference is, after
this is gone, there isn't any more.
Just a minute. We're
partners, aren't we? Yeah.
We split everything fifty-fifty,
don't we? I know, but...
Never mind "you know. "
I know.
Whether on land or sea,
makes no difference.
Partners are partners. You've
got two beans, I haven't got any.
How come? You wouldn't
want to share that way. No.
Here.
Wait a minute.
What's the matter? It's the small
one. I wanna give you the big one.
My mother always told me to treat
my friends like that. That's nice.
Give the biggest of
everything. That's swell.
Mmm.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
I'm gonna eat this half. Why?
You've got two halves.
I haven't got any.
You shouldn't eat so fast.
What kind of partner are you?
I'm entitled to
half of that bean.
Come on. That's better. There.
You ought
to be ashamed.
He's always trying to
make a hog out of himself.
Sorry. Go ahead and eat it.
This is mine?
Go ahead!
You're gonna let me
eat this whole half?
I've always got to
give you the best of it.
Take it easy and
chew it up good.
Chew it good. I'm gonna make it last.
I'm gonna put it from here
to here and here to here.
And sometimes up here.
It's up there now.
Where's it now?
It's gone.
Sharkey,
boy, am I hungry!
This program is coming to you
from Pete's Bar and Grill.
Stop in for one of our
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Today's blue-plate special
is spaghetti.
With meatballs? Yes, with meatballs.
Thanks.
I guess we might as well
wash these dishes.
What'll you use for water?
There's an ocean full of it.
Throw them overboard.
We won't need 'em anymore.
Wellington?
What?
I can't stand to see you
starve to death.
I just sneaked Mr. Layton's
gun. I can't eat that!
Who wants you to eat it?
It's the only way out.
You want me to
demolish myself?
It's the only honorable thing
I could do.
I don't think Sharkey likes
the idea. He's tellin' ya off.
There's one less
we'll have to worry about.
What do you mean?
You'll find out.
Are you ashamed
to see me do it?
Don't cry.
You make me feel sad.
Here,
blow your nose.
That's enough. It's the
only handkerchief I got.
I know, but it's clean,
I'm tellin' ya.
Good-bye, Sharkey.
Aw, Sharkey.!
Poor Wellington.
Wellington!
Wellington! Are you all
right? What happened?
I missed.
I'm awfully sorry.
You missed. You... Land!
Land.!
Land, everybody.!
We're saved! Oh, boy! Put the gun down!
Land! How do you like that? Put it away!
Right over there
we got land!
Don't point at me!
Don't point at me!
Maybe we better separate and see
if we can find any signs of life.
If you see anything,
blow this whistle.
Be careful. Some of these islands
are inhabited by cannibals.
Cannibals! Oh! Ooo-ooo. What's the matter?
They're not gonna make
no shore dinner outta me.
Are you sure there're cannibals? Yep.
You were kidding about
those cannibals, weren't you?
You never can tell.
Maybe we'd better
kind of stick together.
That won't be necessary.
You wanna go on alone?
I suppose you think
I'm afraid. Huh!
Oh, Tommy!
Tommy, where are you? Wait a minute.
Oh, Tommy! I guess it would
be foolish if we got separated.
What's the matter?
You're not afraid, are you?
No, but there are animals
around here, wild animals.
Really?
I haven't seen any.
I heard 'em, just as plain... You did, huh?
Come on.
Oh.
All that stuff about cannibals on
the island, that's all bunk. Sure.
Layton's liable to tell you
there's headhunters here.
That's only in storybooks. I've been
around. Certainly. That's ridiculous.
Ooo-ooo-ooo!
Algy.
Algy!
Algy, what did they
do to you?
What's the matter
with you?
Algy! Oh! Here I am.
Don't you ever play jokes
on me! Shh, not so loud.
If there's any cannibals,
you'll attract them to us.
We've gotta do something
to protect ourselves.
Take that shield. That's a shield. A what?
That's a protector.
Get a club.
Get a club! Let me look at it. I got it.
Now you're set...
What are you doing?
That's not for that.
Now if a cannibal comes around,
you're ready to protect me.
Sure.
Sure.
I'm all ready to protect you? Certainly!
I don't want
to get inquisitive,
but who is going
to protect me?
Don't worry
about a thing.
See that whistle?
That'll protect you. Okay.
Everything all right?
That whistle is going
to protect me. Certainly.
How?
I blow the whistle,
he turns to find out
where the noise is.
You hit him over the
head with the club. Oh!
You got it? When you blow the whistle,
and the cannibal turns
around... Turns around.
When he does...
bop on the head!
Now you've got it!
Let's find something to eat.
Wait! Don't you forget to blow the whistle.
I'll blow the whistle
if it's the last thing I do.
If you don't, it'll be
the last thing I do.
You! I ain't a-scared
of you guys!
Whoo! What's the matter?
Can't you take a joke?
This is all right!
Looks like it's been made
from the hull of an old ship.
At least somebody
lives on this island.
Hello in there!
Whoo-hoo!
Hello?
Judging by these books, whoever
lives here must understand English.
We might be in luck. Maybe the
natives are civilized. Unfortunately,
that is not the case.
My name's Varnoff.
Hello.
I'm sorry you find us snooping,
but... We feel kinda silly.
How did you get here? We met with a
storm, lost our sails and here we are.
Yeah, um, what island
is this? It's uncharted.
Don't tell me you were shipwrecked
too? I came quite intentionally.
You see, I'm something
of an archaeologist.
The ancient treasure of
this island fascinates me.
Do you think you could
help us rig some sails?
That shouldn't be impossible. The
natives speak a little English.
But they are an unpredictable
lot, as you'll learn.
I'll take you to the village and
see what can be done. Wonderful!
Come on, Wellington.
Okay.
What's the matter with you? Hey, Algy?
Look at the chicken.
Where?
Chicken?
What a chicken!
Algy,
blow the whistle!
What'd I do with it?
What do you want me to do?
Wait!
Where'd I put it?
Blow the whistle.!
All right.
Blow the whistle!
Now, don't get excited. Why
didn't you blow that whistle?
I forgot where I put it.
You forgot where you put it?
Keep it in your mouth. Give me
the whistle. All right, all right.
All right, take it.
Take it easy.
Here he comes!
Blow the whistle. Not
that.! Nothing comes out!
Not that! The whistle. Blow
the whistle! It won't work!
Blow that whistle.!
Ow.! Ow.!
Not that.!
Blow the whistle.
All right!
How do you like that?
Algy?
Hey, Algy, what happened?
You must be tired.
I think I will scout
the island alone.
Algy, move over.
Stop it.!
All right.!
Stop that. Get your hands
off me! Take it easy.
Miss Joan, Mr. Layton,
won't you help us?
They're gonna make
beef stew out of us.
What'd he say?
You dared to disturb the shrine of
departed warriors and must pay the penalty.
Oh! Look, mister,
tell the head man...
Tell him I'd like to die
my own way.
How do you want
to die?
Of old age.
If not that, Chief,
I'll die
of starvation.
Starvation takes
a long time.
That's all right, I'll wait! I'm willing!
You people are fortunate.
The chief likes your little
fat friend. He thinks he's cute.
He invites you to become his
friends over a cup of native wine.
Hey, Algy,
come here.
What's that funny-looking
thing? That's a bell.
That ain't no bell! I say that's a bell.
It's too big. You see
that? That's a clapper.
That's a clapper? That's
what makes the sound.
Are you trying to tell me this
is a bell? Don't holler at me!
Moolah, Moolah.!
Quiet!
Moolah! Moolah!
What's this "Moolah"
business. Moolah means hero.
There's a legend that
every time that bell rings,
the hero of Mantua will appear
and reconquer for them...
their haunted temple
in the mountains.
Oh, hello.
Thank you, girls.
What a beautiful violet.
That luana, love flower.
Me Luana,
love flower too!
You love flower? All girls
on island named after flower.
How do you like that? These giggling
kids are all named after flowers.
Me Amo,
passion flower.
Me Ferna,
beauty flower.
You Algy,
wallflower.
Moolah, Moolah.
What's this Moolah?
You are big hero!
Me a big hero?
And you shall marry Luana,
daughter of chief. That's me.
No, no, Whaba, no!
Hey, hey,
just a minute!
Kid, do you need help? Yes.
All right. Listen, you.
I was talking to the young lady.
You're big enough to help
yourself. Luana no marry Moolah!
Marry me!
Why should I marry you?
You don't appeal to me. Bah!
Bah!
Bah!
Bah!
Ha-ha!
Didn't even hurt.
Lovely Luana
Ooo-ahh-ooo
Flower of love
Lovely Luana
Ooo-ahh-ooo
Pretty South Sea flower
Lovely Luana
You haunt
the tropic night
Oh, but you're lovely
When the moonbeams
shower
Angelic blossom
You bloom
in pale moonlight
If you should see
Luana bloom
The night
a full moon glows
It means you'll find
your loved one
That's how
the legend goes
Lovely Luana
In your
starlit hour
Lovely Luana
Please bloom for me
tonight
Love your Luana
Love your
South Sea flower
Kiss your Luana
She blooms for you
tonight
Ohhh!
Moolah!
Hello! Hello!
How are ya?
Ooo, Moolah!
What are you doing? See
you girls later tonight.
Algy and I was playin'
under the tree.
This is a very old tree. She
says it's a very old tree.
Lovers have met under
this tree for years.
Ooo-ooo-ooo!
Well?
Why don't you go home? I will not.
After all, you know... Never mind!
But me and... All right, keep quiet.
I know, but...
What's the matter?
Go on home! Somebody's
calling you. I will not.
There's nobody calling.
There is not. There is too.
Algy? That's you, I heard you. Sit down.
Algy, do me a favor,
please? Go home. I will not!
Look, two's company and three's
a crowd. All right, go home.
Okay. No!
You go!
I will not. After all,
she's my Latin beauty.
So? Aren't ya? I hope.
Luana, what was you saying
about this old tree?
This tree is called the
tree of truth. Tree of truth?
Yes. If you tell a lie
under this tree,
something will happen to you. Yeah?
I got nothing to worry about
'cause I never tell lies. Ohh!
See? You told a lie. I was only kiddin'.
What goes on here?
Take it easy. I ain't
gonna tell more lies!
Come here.
What's the matter?
Every time I talk, I
get hit. What can I do?
Tell her a story. They love
stories. Tell her a story?
I got a pip!
Go ahead.
Luana, I gotta
tell you a story.
Once upon a time,
there was a merchandising agent.
He saw a farmhouse.
He knocked on the door and...
Wait a minute. Just a minute!
Get your hand off my head!
Just a minute.
You can't tell that story.
I'll tell the one about my father,
the engineer on the railroad.
Why didn't you tell that one in
the first place? I don't know.
Go ahead. No one likes to
talk about their own parentage.
Go ahead. I got to tell another
story 'cause he didn't like the first.
This story's
about my father.
Once upon a time, my father
was an engineer on the railroad.
He was going 70 miles per hour
down the track.
The train stopped and
he didn't know what was wrong.
He went into the tool box
and he couldn't find no tools.
What did he do?
He went to the farmhouse...
Just a minute! Enough is
enough. I didn't finish yet.
That's the same story. Is it?
Same story and you know
it. What do you know?
Can I tell the story if I put a
whistle with the train? Certainly not!
Okay. Why don't you tell
her something interesting,
something about our country
and some great people?
You mean history?
History! There's the idea.
Now you're talking sense.
Honey, I gotta change my story.
He didn't like number one and number
two. I'm gonna like number three.
I'm gonna tell you about the
history of our great country.
That's swell.
One time many years ago,
somebody threw some tea
in the ocean,
and there was a lot of confusion
about it.
Paul Revere, he was a big man at
that time. He had a wonderful horse.
He got on his horse and he
said, "The Redcoats are coming!"
He was going down a road.
He came to a door...
No you don't! I didn't even
get the guy off the horse.
Never mind that! Let me
get the guy off the horse!
That's the same story.
Please, wait a minute.
Moolah, what did
the man want?
Well, you see, he... Now!
Oh, he...
he, he...
Moolah,
what did he want?
He wanted
a glass of milk.
I realize these visitors
may disrupt our plans,
but I have a way
of making use of them.
We got plenty out of the last guys we kidded
the natives into sending up to the temple.
Why don't we call it quits?
Not until we get the
sacred ruby of Mantua.
Do you realize
what it's worth?
Okay.
But who's gonna be the next
sacrifice? Leave that to me.
Tabor, tomorrow night there's to be a
feast in honor of these new arrivals.
When the festivities
are at their height,
I want the volcano
to erupt.
Make it very effective.
Use plenty of fireworks.
Moolah!
Kneel.
Moolah.
Moolah.
My son.
My daddy.
Moolah.
Moolah.
Moolah,
Wellington.
Remember,
you marry Luana,
you be dead husband.
Get your hand
off me!
I am a hero.
You are a stinker.
What you mean?
What you call stinker?
Well, that's...
No!
You see a stinker...
a stinker's a great man!
You bet your life
me stinker.
My father was stinker.
My brother stinker.
My whole family stinkers!
Yeah, but you're the biggest
stinker of'em all. Thank you.
Thank you.
You're the biggest stinker on the
whole island. Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
Him no stinker.
No, no!
Ah, no!
You no stinker.
Too small.
Only me stinker.
Yeah. Biggest stinker
I ever saw!
Thank you.
Thank you.
You marry Luana...
Yeah.
I don't think he means a shave. He don't.
Wellington seems to be doing all
right. Luana's a very pretty girl.
Second prettiest girl on the
island. You're too complimentary.
You haven't been dipping in that cava
bowl, have you? Oh, no, not a drop.
This is your wedding feast. I warn you.
Go ahead and eat. I
can't. I lost my appetite.
Take a drink.
Maybe it'll bring it back.
Yes, you will take
a drink with me!
Your last drink!
Oh. Algy, let's you and I
get out of here. Oh, behave.
I'm scared. I can feel
chills running up my spine.
Up and down your spine. No, up my spine!
They got no strength
for a return trip.
I'm gettin'
a Mickey.
Oh.
Drink.
Look over there.
Who's that?
Drink!
Drink?
Drink.
Drink.
Oh.
Oh, look at
the sky!
Drink!
Hello, there!
Drink!
Drink? Drink. Drink, drink!
Drink.
Drink.
More? More, more, more? Drink, drink, yeah.
I'm so tired.
Oh great one
Oh great one
Oh great one
Oh burning fountain
Oh great one
Oh great one
- Vingo
- Oh great one
Fiery god
of the mountain
Vingo
oh burning fountain
Shower your message
from above us
Now that you've shown us
that you love us
Vingo, lead us to happiness
with your light
We offer thanks
as you blaze in the night
- Vingo
- Oh great one
- You are appeased
- Oh great one
- Now you are pleased
- Oh great one
- Oh Vingo
- Oh great one
We offer thanksgiving
to you, Vingo
There's a beat everybody
really ought to know
It's a treat, stomp your feet
to VingoJingo VingoJingo
VingoJingo Vingo
Everyone ought to learn
the way the rhythms go
It's a treat, stomp your feet
to VingoJingo VingoJingo
VingoJingo Vingo
Take some native cava
Add volcanic heat
Mix it up with lava
And set it to
a tom-tom beat
Now the beat's got the island
rocking to and fro
It's a treat, stomp your feet
to VingoJingo VingoJingo
VingoJingo Vingo
Ahh-oh oh-oh
Vingo, Vingo
It's a beat everybody
really ought to know
It's a treat
Stomp your feet
To VingoJingo
VingoJingo Vingo
Everyone ought to learn
the way the rhythms go
It's a treat, stomp your feet
to VingoJingo VingoJingo
VingoJingo Vingo
Take some native cava
Add volcanic heat
Mix it up with lava
and set it to
A tom-tom beat
Now the beat's
got the island
Rocking to and fro
It's a treat, stomp your feet
to VingoJingo VingoJingo
VingoJingo Vingo
VingoJingo VingoJingo
VingoJingo Vingo
Vingo! Vingo!
Moolah pigi.
Vingo.!
What are they talking
about? The legend of Moolah.
He is to marry the daughter
of the chief.
But only after he has proved himself the
hero of Mantua. I don't want to be no hero.
You're to try where five others
have failed. What have they tried?
To break the taboo, to pass beyond the
temple to the forbidden side of the mountain.
You mean, five guys went
through there? Mm-hmm.
Nobody's ever come back? Uh-uh.
Who's gonna be
number six?
You are.
Oh.
All right,
take it easy.
You most good man
on island.
No, Chief. Not me.
I'm not a good man.
No, I'm not.
Chief, would you call a kid that
plays hooky four days a week, good? No.
Would you call a kid that tells
tattletales, good? No.
You wouldn't call that
a good boy, would ya?
I'm a bad boy!
Wait a minute.
You can't run yourself down
like this. Shut up, will ya?
Quiet! Keep out of this. Chief,
I've known this boy all my life.
Shut up. He's starting
to believe me. Quiet!
I've never met a finer,
more upright and honest a boy.
Will you keep your mouth shut? Keep quiet!
This boy is an honorary member
of the Camp Fire Girls.
Troop 35. Now shut up. Keep quiet!
You know what this means? My
life is in danger. Your life?
Certainly! If I go up there, think of me!
Think of the rest of the people
on the island!
I'm sorry.
Luana.
I'm always thinking
of myself anyway.
I'm a killjoy.
I'll say you are.
All right.
If that's what it means,
I'll go into that temple.
I'll face danger!
I knew you would.
I don't care if the
boogeyman's in there. Atta boy.
I'll get him! There's one
thing I want you to do.
What's that?
Talk me out of it.
You like that speech?
Hey, Father! Father!
They're taking your son!
What makes you think
Varnoff's in on this?
It's just a hunch, but
I want to protect Wellington.
I think Varnoff's responsible for the
disappearance of those five men in the temple.
You have to prove it to me.
That's what I intend to do.
You and your
melodramatic plots.
So you think I'm melodramatic,
huh? Take a look at that.
Fireworks.!
Hello, Varnoff?
What is that?
Hello, Varnoff?
It's a radio!
Shh!
Hello? Hello? Varnoff? Yes, what is it?
Yes, yes,
what is it?
I want to make a checkup to
see if we understood everything.
Let's hear it again
just to make sure.
The idea is to get the jewels and
hold the little fat guy as hostage...
until we're ready
to leave the island.
You're going to capture him
when he goes into the temple?
That was the understanding,
wasn't it?
It was, but we may
have to change things.
Oh, will we?
Tie them up.
Let me go!
Stop it! Stop it!
I'll see you people later. I have
to make an appearance at the temple.
Me and my
melodramatic plots, huh?
If Moolah go,
I go too.
That ain't a bad idea.
No.!
Moolah go alone.
Oh no.
Chief, what is this?
Sacredjewel of Mantua.
So long you wear this,
you no can die.
That's the best news I ever
heard. That's wonderful!
Oh, boy! The chief says as long as I
wear this, nothing can happen to me.
That's a wonderful jewel.
Ain't that gorgeous?
Ooo-ooo!
All right.
That's enough! You told
me that thing was tame.
Shh.
Go ahead up there.
Luana, good-bye.
All right, that's enough.
That's enough!
If that don't make a man
out of me, nothing else will.
Forward... march!
Algy? Algy! Yes, yes. I'm still here.
My bosom pal!
I'm sorry.
This is good-bye.
Good-bye.
Wait a minute.
Here.
What's this for?
That's the dollar I owe
you. The dollar you owe me?
You pick out a fine time
to pay me!
Where am I gonna spend
a dollar up there?
He gives me the dollar now
that he owes me six months ago.
Go on up those stairs.
Be brave!
You want these people
to think I'm a coward?
No, sir. I'm sorry. It
won't happen again. Atta boy.
Go ahead.
Nobody home.
Now I'm all alone.
Algy always told me
when I was alone to sing.
Deep in the heart
ofTexas
Give me that jewel.
I can't give that to you. It's my
life protection. Give me that jewel!
I got to take my hat off
to give it to you.
I can't get it over my head
unless I do.
Would you mind... holding...
my hat?
Algy, don't shoot!
Don't shoot!
Go get him!
Ooh! Ooh!
Ooooh.!
Ooo! Ooo!
Get him! Get him now!
Algy, hello!
Nothing happened to you? Not yet.
- Boss, there he is!
- Over to the statue!
He's somewhere in here.
They certainly disappeared.
Let's go.!
They're around here.
Scatter and look for 'em.
Ooo-ooo!
Gotta get that little guy before
he gets out of this temple.
I think I better stop drinking
Varnoff's whiskey.
Don't you ever
do that again!
What's the idea?
Shut up!
Did you look behind
those statues?
No. The boys
will take care of that.
Did you hear something?
No, did you?
The place must be haunted.
Let's take a look around.
Whoo!
So there you are!
Get him!
Don't let him get away!
Wait a minute.
I'm out of breath.
Yeah, me too.
I get like this
every time I run up stairs.
I'm a little too fat.
Okay, let's go!
Don't let him get away.
Get him, boss.
He landed on top
of the tree!
Tommy.
Shh.
Everything all right?
They're tied up.
Get the small boat ready for
a getaway. I'll be right down.
Keep an eye out
for Tabor.
Wha...
Oh! Oh!
Tommy!
Tommy, are you... You
come with me, young lady.
- Come on.!
- Let me go.!
He landed in that tree? Yeah!
Is that the tree? I don't
know. They all look alike.
Got to find him. Yeah.
Scatter out and look for him.
This is just about
the spot he would've...
Bull's-eye!
Get it, Wellington.
Come on, Algy.
More ammunition.
Another bull's-eye.
Algy, pick me out a big heavy one.
I wanna hit him right on the head.
Oh, boy, Algy!
You hit him right on the head!
What are you hitting me for?
Give me another one.
Give it to 'em,
Wellington!
Well, I guess that's that!
Algy, get
down off the tree.
Ow! Ow!
Ooo-ooo-ooo!
Algy! Algy?
There he is.
Come on!
Hang on, Wellington.
I'll get you in a minute.
Whaba!
Pretty Whaba!
Ha-ha!
I fix you.
Algy.! Get me off
this jail horse.!
Get me off!
Come on, let's find him.
He fell off right here.
Come back!
I can't go no further.
I gotta make a stand for it.
Put 'em up! Come on, I'll
fight the whole five of yous.
What's the matter?
You scared of me? Fight!
Moolah, the hero.!
I'll fight you southpaw.
Boo!
Moolah, the hero.
Hmm!
Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo-whoo!
He went the other way.
Come on, fellas!
Wellington?
He went that way.
Come on!
It's water! How are we gonna
get across? Wait a minute.
The river. Uh-oh.
Come here.
What are you gonna do?
Grab a vine and follow me.
Come on, come on!
Wait on the other side
for me!
Here I come!
What kind of vine is that?
What kind of...
Okay!
Whoo!
Stop it.!
Leave me alone.
Keep quiet!
Get this boat going.
Will you let Miss Joan
out of that boat?
Hey.! Hey, you.!
Preserve yourself, Miss Joan.
I'll help you.
Sharkey.!
Closer, Sharkey,
closer.
Good boy, Sharkey.
Wait a minute.
I gotcha. Go ahead.
Let her go,
you nasty villain!
Whaa!
Wellington?
Wellington, you'll drown!
I don't know
what I'm doing here!
Wellington, there's
a swordfish behind you!
Look out.!
Whaa! Whaa!
Put the boards together.
Put 'em together!
Whoa-oh!
Give him a short uppercut
to thejaw.!
Whoo! Whoo!
Look out, Wellington.!
Don't!
No, no, don't!
Oh, whoo, whoo!
No, no!
Go on, sock him!
Come on, Wellington!
Look out!
Get this thing off me!
Look out!
You're going the wrong way!
Joan, you stay. I'll get you
with this eggbeater.
I'll putt-putt-putt you
all the way in.
Putt-putt-putt.
Putt-putt-putt.
Moolah,
you are wonderful hero.
You saved all my people on
the island. It was nothing.
Here's the boat ready to
sail and where are the boys?
You can't expect a hero like
Wellington to run out on his public.
He saved my life. He mopped
up Varnoff and his gang.
Uh-oh.
Wellington, come on.
We'll miss the boat!
Get out of here.
Luana, cut it out!
This is no time
for that sort of thing!
Come on.!
Whoo-whoo!
Whoo-whoo-whoo!