Prince & Me, The (2004) Movie Script

Thanks for helping this summer.
Have a great year at school, Paige.
Hey, what happened
to the Lamborghini?
I'm quite bored of the Lamborghini.
Ready to lose?
I've won Grand Prix.
What have you won?
And you're gonna beat me
in your mummy's limo?
To be correct, Mr. Irvine, I'm going
to beat you in my mummy's limo,
to which I've made
numerous modifications.
So you should be afraid, my friend.
Not half as afraid as you're gonna
be when your mummy finds out.
- Hey, how was it?
- Oh, it was great.
They had a going-away
Danish for me.
And as soon as I blew out the candle,
Trey Carlson came in
with this huge bloody gash
on his forehead.
- He tried to give himself a haircut.
- Good going, Trey.
The cool part was they let me
stitch it up for him.
- Time check?
- 9:45.
Racers ready?
Look out!
Great dress.
Good race, Your Highness.
Not exactly the way
I wanted to win.
It'd been better if you hadn't
lifted your foot off at the end.
- No, you did great.
- Congratulations.
- And then there were two.
- It's not that bad.
No, they seem really happy. I...
I just remember how much we used
to talk about getting out there
and following our dreams.
There's a whole world out there to see.
You too. We're the last holdouts.
Todd and I are engaged.
- Don't hate me.
- That's great.
- Why would I hate you? No.
- Oh, thanks.
- OK, ladies.
- Oh, look.
Betsy's throwing the bouquet.
Are you ready, ladies?
One, two, three.
I caught it!
- He is late every time.
- Yes.
It's OK, I've got it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Edvard.
- Hi, Ari.
His Majesty, the king.
Her Majesty, the queen.
His Royal Highness, the crown prince.
Her Royal Highness,
Princess Arabella.
Here we are, honey.
- Hope to see you at Thanksgiving.
- All right, I love you, Dad.
- Bye, sweetheart.
- Bye. Thanks.
- Hello?
- Paige, hey.
- How's it going?
- Oh, my God.
Good. How psyched
are you to be back?
Yeah, but this year we do the dishes
every three weeks
whether we need to or not.
And by "we", I mean you.
Oh, look what my dad
hooked me up with.
Yeah. He may be totally
inaccessible emotionally,
but he does know how
to install some really cool crap.
Well, enjoy it. I'll be lucky
if I'm ever home this year.
I've got a five-hour chem lab, plus
med-school applications and work.
Hey, hey, classes
haven't even started yet.
Before you start saving the world,
you could come to the Rat
with me, Stacey and Amanda.
So at this point in the trip, me and
the other tour leaders are just...
- We're fed up with all these
- OK, OK.
Rich, snotty kids
and all of their complaining.
So one night in Rome,
we go to this bar,
and I kind of slept with a 45-year-old
cheesy ltalian guy.
Forty-five? Wow.
Well, he was cute
in a Mussolini kind of way.
- What are you gals talking about?
- Our love for older, virile men like you.
A few more of these and believe me,
I'll be the best-looking guy in here.
- Then you better take Stacey's away.
- Oh, yes, please.
- You want back on the work rotation?
- Yeah, definitely.
- How's tomorrow?
- How's Thursday?
- How's tomorrow?
- Tomorrow it is.
All right.
This round's on me.
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
I can't believe you got
to see all of Europe.
I wish I could fast-forward
through the next five years...
I hate when she starts
to talk about her life plan.
- It makes me feel so unfocused.
- Tell me about it.
I'm a senior, and I've changed
my major, like, six times.
- I don't even have a major.
- Oh, please.
By the time you get one,
Paige will be done with Johns Hopkins.
- That's if I get in.
- You'll get in.
No. Not after this semester.
I have to take Shakespeare.
Some sort of stupid
humanities requirement.
That's it. The next time you talk
about classes or work,
you have to do a shot.
It's just that Shakespeare
is so useless...
- Hey, guys, I need this.
- Hey.
- Here you go.
- No.
- No, come on.
- Oh, yeah, definitely.
- What is this?
- Drink it. Drink it.
- It's your first night.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- That's good.
Oh, I hate you guys.
Did you read all the prepared
research materials?
Of course.
Edvard, one day,
you will be the 51 st ruler
of the longest continuous monarchy
- in the history of the world.
- Yes, I'm aware, Father.
It's a monarchy that still requires
the participation of the king
in the workings and decisions
of the government.
So if I ask you if you're prepared,
it's not an insignificant question.
Father, I'm prepared, OK?
His Majesty, the king.
And His Royal Highness,
the crown prince.
- Your Majesty.
- I'm all right.
- Prime minister.
- Your Royal Highness.
OK, ladies and gentlemen,
let's get started.
But a six-percent pay increase
is the least
the national unions will accept.
- That's unconscionable.
- Look.
If we can't agree, how are we
gonna get the two sides together?
This is blackmail.
All right, we'll have to make
other concessions then.
Is there no end
to the workers' demands?
Our government must refuse
to give in to the unions at all costs.
I appreciate your ardor, Thomas,
but I assure you they are very serious
about the deadline.
Without concessions,
they will strike.
A nationwide strike will be
disastrous for our economy.
Edvard, I'm sure we'd all like
to know what you think.
Sorry, what was the question?
I was... I was busy.
I see.
I don't know why my father
insists I go with him.
- I've always detested those meetings.
- Yes, sir.
Perhaps it has something
to do with the fact that,
I don't know, you're going
to be king someday.
Yes, don't remind me, Soren.
You're very lucky you're not me,
let me tell you.
If you want to change places, sir,
call me day or night.
You know my mother's
gonna go crazy
when she finds out
what happened today.
It's a speech I definitely
don't want to hear.
I need to get out of Denmark,
Soren. I need to clear my head.
Oh, yes, and where would you like
to clear your head this time, sir?
I hear the slopes are opening
early in St. Moritz this year.
Monte Carlo has opened a new casino.
Dropping a few hundred thousand
kroner always seems
to have worked miracles in the past.
The following commercial...
Wait, no time for that.
Watch this!
For years, Desperate Dan
has been talking real women
into doing the most outrageous things.
And he's captured it all on tape.
And now Desperate Dan takes you
to America's heartland
to bring you Wild College Girls:
The Girls of Wisconsin.
Oh, please. Come on, take your
top off for us. Come on, Just once.
- Wisconsin?
- Yes.
Why there, son?
Because I've never spent
much time in America before.
And I'd rather go
to the heart of the country
where I can meet ordinary Americans.
Plus, there's a well-respected
university with interesting programs
and a wide variety
of extracurricular activities.
But this is absurd.
Look, I see this as a real
opportunity to find myself.
Oh, Edvard, please.
This is just another
in a series of escapades.
Which, by the way, we finance.
Inevitably ending up with you
in some tabloid, embarrassing us
and forcing you to come back
to the palace to hide yourself
until you convince us you have to go
and find yourself yet again.
If I'm the embarrassment
you believe me to be,
then maybe you should cut me off.
- Well, what are you saying?
- I'm saying I want to go and I'm going.
And I neither require your money
nor your permission.
- Edvard!
- I will do this on my own, Mother!
Let him go.
We've tried everything else,
and it doesn't work, so...
Frankly, it's encouraging
he even wants to try.
Soren. You will go with him.
Me, Your Majesty?
On my own?
Surely there's a caretaker
better suited than...
I will arrange for our departure.
- Hey!
- Slow down.
Just look at them all, Soren.
Thousands upon thousands of young,
crazy college girls getting drunk
- and taking their tops off.
- Yes, sir, what a treat for us
that it's happening here
in America's dairy land.
Breeding ground of the coronary
bypass patients of the world.
Look at her.
Your parents are expecting you
to attend your classes,
- Your Royal Highness.
- Yes, I know.
Listen, Soren.
From this point forward,
I do not want you to address me
as the prince
or Your Royal Highness.
You will address me as... Eddie.
Yes, Eddie.
The last thing I need right now
is to have the press all over me.
- I think it's gonna be fun.
- I'm having a wonderful time already.
- Are you unhappy, Soren?
- What gave me away, sir?
I don't know. Your expression
never changes.
- Do you even know how to smile?
- Yes.
Oh, Soren, this is us.
Good heavens.
I thought you had to be
convicted of a crime
before you lived
somewhere like this.
It's not that bad.
Plus, we haven't seen
the rest of it yet.
Apparently, this is the rest of it.
Well, I like it. And I'll even let you
have first choice of the beds.
Oh, heavens.
Which stained mattress
shall I choose?
You the new guys?
I'm Scotty.
All right, all my food's labeled,
so I'll know if you ate anything.
I'm allergic to dairy, shellfish,
red meat, melon, nuts and kiwi.
So don't bring any
of that stuff around here.
The Xbox is off-limits.
If you screw up any of my high scores,
I'll blind you with my laser pointer.
Now, this... This is the real university
life I was talking about.
You see, here, we're just two
typical college students.
Absolutely, sir. I, for one, can't wait
to raucously cheer on the fellows
of the tackle football team
as they challenge the Gophers,
our hated rivals, who apparently hail
from a place called Minnesota.
Minnesota sucks!
Wisconsin rules!
No, no.
Waitress, we'd like to see
some menus, please.
I'm not a waitress, there are no
menus, and the kitchen's closed.
Well, then what can you offer us?
I can offer you beer and pretzel rods,
my fine fellow, at ye old pub yonder.
- Shall I go to the bar, sir?
- Yes. Yes, two of these. Two beers.
Very good.
Would you like another, sir?
- Yes, I'll get these.
- Thank you very much, sir.
- Hello again.
- What can I get for you?
I was hoping you could
recommend something better
than what we've been drinking.
Well, for the discerning
out-of-towner like yourself,
I recommend Leinenkugel's. You can
really taste the extra 10 cents.
Yes, by all means. Two, please.
You know, if we were in Germany
right now, we'd be underground.
- What?
- Rathskeller, it means basement.
Yes, perhaps I should've known
better than to flirt in German.
It's not a very attractive language, is it?
- I'm Eddie.
- Paige.
- So will you take your top off for me?
- What?
Take your top off for me
like Wild College Girls.
Just a quick look. No one's watching.
Just take it off for me.
- You, time to go.
- Just calm down.
- No, you calm down.
- Get off me.
- You get out.
- Get your hands off me.
Out. Go on!
Science is a never-ending quest.
For anyone planning a future
in science, an open mind is a must.
Grading is as follows:
Forty percent, procedure.
Fifty percent, lab work.
And ten...
May I help you?
Yes. I believe I'm signed up
for this class.
Fine, Mr. Williams. Next time be here
by 8:20, or you'll be locked out.
And what about you?
I'm talking to you, sir.
- I'm auditing.
- Not this class, too small.
Take a seat, Mr. Williams.
As I was saying,
forty percent, procedure.
- Fifty percent, lab work.
- You can wait outside.
- You'll be all right, sir?
- And ten percent...
- Yes, just wait outside.
- You know, if this is a "lovers' thing",
could you please take it
in the hall?
Soren, just go. Go.
My sincerest apologies.
Oh, please proceed.
And ten percent, attendance.
You will find a list in front of you
of your supplies
and the experiment
you will be conducting.
Now, I want you to turn to the person
next to you and introduce yourself.
Congratulations, folks, you've just said
hello to your permanent lab partner.
Hey. Hey.
You forgot your supply list.
Oh, right, thank you.
- Listen, what's your name again?
- Eddie.
Eddie. Right.
This class is really important to me
because I need this teacher
to get me into med school.
And if I'm stuck with you
as my partner,
I can't afford to have you
screw things up for me, OK?
It's very important to me, as well.
I love organic chemistry.
I've recently discovered
that large amounts
of alcohol mixed with a carbon-based
life form causes the life form
to blurt out stupid things.
So apologies to the other night.
I was just having some fun.
Of course you were. And I love being
made to feel like a brainless slut
by some sloppy lush. Thanks.
I have learned me to repent the sin
Of disobedient opposition
To you and your behest, I am enjoined
And beg your pardon
Is he drunk now?
It's a play. Romeo and Juliet?
This is gonna be a fun semester.
Don't forget your half
of the supplies next time.
You would think that
after spraying somebody
with high-powered soda,
he'd get the message to stay away.
Well, I think he's pretty hot.
Hot? Oh, my God, Beth,
he is so affected.
He was quoting Shakespeare, like
some Shakespearean-duke-lord guy.
I hate phonies like that.
So are you saying you wouldn't
take him up to the stacks?
OK. A, going at it in the dusty stacks
of the library is fairly disgusting.
And B, you literally say that
about every hot guy.
Oh, so you admit he's hot.
OK, I'm done having
this conversation.
I need to concentrate
on my applications.
And what's with his weird friend
who's always hanging around?
One partner is monitoring
temperature and flow,
while the other pours the hydrochloric
acid into the separatory funnel.
carefully turn the stopcock
to allow some of the solution
to flow into the round-bottom flask.
Start over again.
Where is he?
- You're still in bed?
- Good morning, miss.
Would you care for some breakfast?
I spent the last two hours
looking like an incompetent idiot
because my lab partner
didn't show up.
- Was that this morning?
- Yes!
You know, I know exactly
who you are.
- You do?
- You do?
You're a spoiled, little rich kid
who sees college as a detour
on the way to an easy life.
No character.
No accomplishments.
- Just a royal pain in the ass.
- You're completely wrong.
See, unlike people who are given
everything, I have to earn what I get.
But that is the beauty
of a meritocracy.
People rise and fall
based on how hard they work.
Would you like some
more hollandaise?
- No, that's good. Thank you.
- You're making eggs Benedict?
- On a hot plate in a dorm room?
- Yes, just a typical student breakfast.
Would you care to join us?
No, thank you.
- So where's your statue?
- What statue?
Someone as righteous as you
must have
a statue of themselves
There's a difference between
being righteous and being right.
I happen to be right. Could you
please put a shirt on or something?
If you're going to be a doctor,
you'll have to get used to naked men.
Dude! Dude, there's a chick
in our room.
- Just drop the class.
- No.
Well, then you better be there,
and you better be prepared.
She really meant those things,
didn't she?
Yes, she did seem rather upset, sir.
Though, regardless,
I don't see why you would care.
Do enjoy the eggs, sir. They were
purchased with the last of your money.
- We have some left, don't we?
- What you came with is gone.
Well, you're getting some
sort of paycheck, aren't you?
Hey, you cheap Swede.
"Skills: polo, fencing, speak French,
English, German, Dutch,
"Danish and Flemish".
Flemish? Is there
a country called Flem?
Look, that's all great,
but it doesn't mean crap to me.
I need somebody with work
experience, and you don't have any.
I really could do
with the employment.
There are a lot of students
who wanna work here.
Well, I have the highest
- Hey, Paige.
- Hi.
Are you deliberately trying
to make me miserable?
No, I'm simply manning
the delicatessen in the event
that one of my fellow students
wants a tasty sandwich.
- Stu, did you hire this guy?
- Yeah. He came highly recommended.
- By whom?
- You.
- What would you like?
- A turkey sandwich.
Paige, I'm busy. Eddie's your boy.
You're in charge of him.
All right, it seems we're completely
out of turkey today.
Dude, there's like ten turkey
things in there.
Is this some sort of test?
Did Johns Hopkins send you to see
if I can handle pressure?
- Because I'm starting to crack.
- Well, who's in charge of carving?
- Use the slicer.
- What's that?
You used me as a reference.
Yes. Look, you were
the only one I knew.
Despite what you think,
I do need this job. I have no money.
But you have a personal egg poacher.
No, no. He's just another student.
Really? What's he studying?
How to be a 30-year-old junior?
Try the "on" button.
Look, Paige. You were right
about my parents back in Denmark.
They are from a certain wealth.
But I've cut myself off from them.
Yes, just one minute.
Listen, Paige. I realize I've taken
advantage of you recently, and...
But just give me a chance today, and
if I cause any problems, then I'll quit.
OK. Your right hand
goes on the handle.
Slowly slide the meat
back and forth.
And unless you want
a turkey-thumb sandwich,
don't put your hand near
the blade when it's moving, OK?
- Slowly, slowly.
- Right.
OK, nice and smooth.
That's enough.
- Here, Paige, it's your turn tonight.
- OK.
Hey, kid.
I need you to go outside
and hose down the mats.
Are you sure you don't
want a hand, sir?
- No, I'm fine.
- Good night.
You did OK in there.
- You can't be serious, can you?
- Well, by "OK", I mean
spilling a ton of beer
and screwing up everyone's order.
- Yeah.
- No, you'll be fine.
You know, this Saturday evening,
there's a dorm party at Brenner Hall.
A gathering.
I was wondering if you would like
to accompany me.
Accompany you?
Oh, right, yes.
How do you say it colloquially?
Yo, dog, there's a mad party
kicking at my crib,
if you want to roll
down there with me.
That was just sad.
Don't ever do that again.
Yes, I really hurt my finger.
So would you like to come?
I'm actually kind of busy.
Oh, dear.
- What?
- I believe you just got rejected, sir.
You know, I don't think that's ever
happened to me before.
You've never been attracted
to anyone
who didn't know
you were a prince before.
I wouldn't get too worked up
over it, sir.
The chances of a relationship
between yourself and Miss Paige
are not promising.
You two are of
a completely different caliber.
Soren, just because she isn't royalty
doesn't mean she's not important.
The higher caliber
I was referring to, sir,
was hers.
You really must get some rest,
Your Majesty.
I'm relieved there wasn't
more to it than this.
- There'll be more of these tests, yes?
- I can't say for sure.
- There'll be several tests?
- There might be.
- Will this take many days?
- No, I'm pretty sure
- we can get them out of the way.
- Thank you, doctor.
I don't think you need to go to this.
- I promised I'd go.
- Are you feeling ill, Daddy?
There's nothing to worry about,
my darling.
Yes, Arabella.
You shouldn't worry.
Just a little flu.
Excuse me, ma'am.
It's time for His Majesty to be going.
So, what would you like to do today?
- Horse riding.
- Good idea.
Duty calls.
Positive for ketone.
Mr. Williams, please do something.
So you know the other day
when you quoted Romeo and Juliet?
- Yes.
- Well, it's funny
because I'm actually taking
a Shakespeare class myself and...
I'm not struggling,
I'm actually being graded unfairly.
But I was wondering,
since you seem to be...
Yeah. Well, I was hoping
maybe you could...
Help you.
- No, I don't need help.
- Oh, OK.
Just sounded like you were
asking me for help, that's all.
Forget it.
Yeah, OK, I need help.
Yes, I'll help you.
It's not a problem.
I'm going to need some
help of my own first.
Pour the bleach like this:
And do not spill.
I bet you can't believe
I've never done laundry, can you?
Yeah, it's a real leap.
Cold, cold.
It's just so confusing. I mean, how do
you know what goes in which pile?
It's a gift. I guess you could
say I'm the Rain Man of laundry.
OK, now it's my turn.
We did King Lear,
and now we're on the Sonnets.
Next, it's Hamlet, which is about
a whiny prince from Denmark.
- What does that have to do with reality?
- More than you think.
Well, you're from Denmark,
do you even have princes?
Yes, I think we do.
Well, Beth read it, and she said
he's a total loser.
Well, you can tell Beth that the prince
was young and scared,
and he didn't feel ready for
the hard choices he had to make.
It's not easy facing
that kind of pressure.
Right. Sonnets, you say.
O me!
What eyes hath love put in my head
Which have no correspondence
With true sight
Or if they have
Where is my Judgment fled
That censures falsely
What they see aright?
It's beautiful.
It's gibberish.
I have no idea what he's saying.
Well, he's saying
that love is magical,
and that it makes people look
at each other in an unspoiled way,
without judgment.
Why doesn't he just say that?
Why can't people just say
what they mean?
Well, people rarely say
what they mean.
That's the interesting part, is...
is what's going on
underneath the surface.
See, take line 12.
The sun itself sees not
Till heaven clears
What does that mean to you?
That the sun can't shine
when it's cloudy.
No. You're being too literal.
See, don't just go for the obvious.
See, all these words,
they have multiple meanings,
and you have
to explore the possibilities
and then make your choice.
See, like the word "sun",
that could mean the actual sun,
or it can mean light.
But then "light" can mean
knowledge or reason.
That could go on forever.
Yes. Yes, it could.
But I think in this case
it means reason.
And then "heaven" may refer
to the pearly gates,
or it could mean a state of being,
you know,
Like being happy or in love.
So now read it again,
taking in all the possibilities,
and tell me what you think it means.
The sun itself sees not
Till heaven clears
I guess it means
that love blinds you.
And when you're in love,
you can't think reasonably.
Do you agree?
I mean, it's just a poem.
Yeah. Yeah, it's just a poem.
Are you worried
a union work stoppage
will throw the country
into a recession?
That's something
we're striving to avoid.
- Mr. Prime Minister.
- Do you think being part of the EU
has been good for Denmark?
The United States of Europe
is a question of being strong together.
It's another boring photo opportunity
of an old guy walking down a carpet
answering the same questions
he answered last week.
- Where's Edvard?
- Now, you see,
he was always good for a big disaster
every few months or so.
I've got to find him.
Eddie. Hey.
It's my Shakespeare midterm.
That's brilliant.
That's really, really good.
- Well done.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, really, for helping me.
- It's OK.
I did even better on my chemistry.
It's good. That's really good.
- How'd you do?
- How did I do?
A minus...
- ...three grades.
- D-minus.
- Yes, but it doesn't matter.
- Sure it does. You can do better.
I know you can.
And give up a brilliant career
in the food-service industry?
Hey, Eddie, do you have any plans
for Thanksgiving?
No, no. I'll be here.
Have a good vacation.
Yes, you too.
I can't believe you.
I can't believe you, Paige.
You should've invited him
home with you.
What? No. That would be so weird.
Well, then you won't mind if I invite
him back to Milwaukee with me?
No. No, of course not.
Why would I mind?
I don't know.
Hey, Eddie, since you don't
have any other plans,
I was wondering if...
You wanted to spend Thanksgiving
with me and my family?
Yes, that'd be nice.
- Thank you.
- Sure.
I think I probably
should come with you, sir.
Oh, no, not this time.
The thing is, you see,
you'll be on your own.
- Yes, and I'll manage.
- All right. Later, dudes.
Actually, sir, it's my duty
to look out for you at all times.
- Soren, I'll be fine.
- With respect, sir,
- that's not for you to decide.
- Soren, yes, it is for me to decide.
What am I going to do here
for five days?
I don't know. Just sight see, relax.
Soren, you'll be fine, OK?
- I'll pick you up Monday.
- Thanks again.
- Thank you.
- Hey.
Hiya, sweetie.
Oh, it's good to have you home.
- Hi, Dad.
- Hi, kiddo.
This is Eddie.
Eddie, this is my mom and dad.
Oh, we're so glad
that you could join us.
The only college friends of Paige's
we've ever met, they've all been girls.
- Thank you. I'm glad to be invited.
- Hi, I'm Ben Morgan.
Ben, hello.
Hey, hey, Doc Paige.
Farmer John Sausage.
- Hey.
- Hey. Oh, Mike, you look great.
Oh, well, you know, Kayla's got me
on Slim-Fast, so I lost 15.
And he put five of it back on today
at Rocky Rococo's.
Who's this guy?
This is Eddie. Eddie's an exchange
student from Denmark.
- He's just a friend.
- Hello.
- Welcome to our home.
- Thank you.
Mike, he speaks better English
than you do.
Yeah, anyway...
Pops, we'll see you in the morning.
Hey, we're watching you, Frenchy.
Come on into the house.
- You can ignore the moron twins.
- OK.
This is it.
- Oh, you can put them right here.
- Right.
What are all the pins for?
The few red ones
are where I've been,
and all the green ones
are where I want to go.
Ecuador, El Salvador.
They're not exactly
tourist destinations, are they?
No, but they're all the places
that Doctors Without Borders
brings good medical care
and vaccinations
and clean drinking water. What?
I just really never met someone
who makes me feel so intimidated.
And believe me, I've met my fair share
of intimidating people.
I'm not intimidating. Look at me.
Yes, well, you see,
that's pretty intimidating, as well.
Well, I'm not the only one with goals.
What do you want to do?
I don't really have any choice.
I have to take over the family business.
- No choice at all?
- No.
Careful, you're crushing Gus.
Oh, Gus.
Yes, Gus.
He's a very good watch-moose.
Not once was I attacked
by a monster under my bed
or something scary in the closet.
Isn't that right, Gus?
Yes, that's right.
Hello, Gus. Nice to meet you.
Very pleased to meet you, as well.
- I like you like this.
- Like what?
Don't know. Just like this.
Just Paige.
All right, Eddie, we got John's room
made up for you.
It's just down the hall
across from our room.
- We sleep with the door open.
- Thanks, Dad.
So, Eddie, would you like to see
how things work around here?
Maybe help us out tomorrow?
No, no, I don't think that's
such a good idea.
- Oh, why not?
- Yes, why not?
OK. You know what?
Go ahead and help out.
I'm gonna enjoy this.
Come on, let's get you settled in.
Stop. Stop.
This one nearly hit me.
Haven't seen too many tractors, huh?
Nicely done with the milking.
Yeah, I think you got a new best friend
in Bessy.
- Hey, should we get some dinner?
- What are those?
- They're lawn mowers.
- Lawn mowers. Really?
Hey, hey.
Actually, we race these.
It's a huge sport around here.
- Yeah.
- Do you mind if I have a look?
No, be our guest.
Take a look at this one.
This is my baby.
- I just put a new flywheel in there.
- Yes, I see.
You know, no matter how dirty
he races, there's no way
we're letting Keith Kopetsky
take the trophy again this year.
- How fast do these things go?
- Well, we clocked it at 52.
I can make it faster.
- Yeah.
- OK. Come on. Let's go.
- What?
- That's good.
Oh, you don't believe me?
I can.
- Might be a Thanksgiving pa, huh?
- Yeah.
Are you OK?
- Oh, you had me going.
- Not until after the pie, all right?
- Milk?
- Oh, no.
I won't be drinking much milk
in the near future.
- Ma, great turkey.
- Don't eat too much.
We got feeding to do, and I don't need
you boys in a turkey coma.
- All right.
- You've got more work?
- Yeah, 24 hours a day.
- Really?
- Have to.
- If you don't milk them,
the cows' udders will explode.
- No.
- It happened at Frank Monahan's.
And did you actually
see it happen, Mikey?
- No.
- You're so bad.
You see, we gotta work twice as hard
as corporate-owned farms
just to stay afloat.
At this rate, the family farm
will be extinct in 20 years.
- I don't think he needs to hear it now.
- No, I'm interested.
What the big boys need to understand
is that we're all interdependent.
And if somebody loses,
eventually, we'll all lose.
- What?
- Nothing.
- Thanks, Dad.
- So, Eddie,
- what's up with you and my sister?
- Johnny!
Look, Paige, someone had to ask.
Yeah, Paige, he's too good-looking.
- Yeah.
- That's right, you're too good-looking.
- I'm not that good-looking.
- He's pretty good-looking.
- You're pretty good-looking.
- Oh, yeah.
- Guys.
- If you combine that with the accent
and your Euro-charm,
you're a lethal combination.
- Would everyone just stop? Please.
- Paige, we don't even know this guy.
I don't know anyone from Denmark.
I've never heard of anyone from there.
- Have you?
- Yeah, sure.
Kierkegaard, Niels Bohr,
Hans Christian Andersen.
Hans Christian Andersen?
Hans Christian Andersen?
Lars Ulrich.
- From Metallica?
- From Metallica.
- Get out.
- OK.
- And Helena Christensen.
- Whoa, whoa, wait a second.
- The Victoria's Secret model?
- Yes.
- OK.
- That's gotta be the coolest country
- in the world now.
- You should be a superpower.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen,
to the Manitowoc County Fairgrounds.
A beautiful day for racing
and the 10th annual
Mad Mower Derby.
Give them a hand.
We got the seniors' class.
We've got machines
up to 15 horsepower.
They'll be blasting by the grandstand
at a good eight to 12 miles an hour.
So hang on to your hats
when they come by, folks.
Let them hear it when they come
past the stands here.
Peterson's coming out of the pit.
Look at him go around that corner.
- Come on. Come on.
- We've got a big deal today.
Check it out. Kopetsky.
What's up, Keith?
What the hell did you do
to that thing?
I bumped up the compression
and a few other little modifications.
All right. One lap to go, folks.
Let them hear it now.
The last of the five laps here
in the senior class.
Osterhouse is pushing.
Now Peterson's moving up.
He's making his move.
Here he comes now.
And here comes Thompson.
There goes Peterson!
Go, Mr. Peterson.
- That's Mr. Peterson?
- He's so damn old.
What a good, clean race
we had for the seniors.
- Your brothers seem to like him.
- Mom.
- I like him too.
- Yeah, I get that.
I really can't afford
any distractions right now.
Chemistry isn't just in a class, kiddo.
- And you guys have it.
- Right.
Then what happens? I fool myself
into thinking he's Prince Charming?
We get married
and live happily ever after?
Then all my work
goes down the drain
because I'm too busy
shopping for groceries
and picking my kids up at soccer.
it really wasn't as bad as all that.
- I didn't mean it that way.
- I know.
But we're not talking about me.
I made my choice.
This is about you making
the right choice for you.
OK, we're getting ready
for the super-modified class.
OK, your brothers
are getting out there.
We have a Le Mans-style start.
The engines will be off.
The drivers, on the gun,
will be running on foot
across the track,
- Go, Eddie.
- Onto the mowers,
start the mowers and start racing.
All right, this one's for all the marbles.
And they've set themselves up
on the line now.
Boys, you've been waiting
all summer for this.
They're getting ready here.
They're champing at the bit, folks.
All set. Listen for the gun
to start it off.
- Shut up.
- And they're off. There they go.
- Oh, Williams and Kopetsky collide.
- Get up.
Williams is on the ground. Get out
of there before they run you over.
They're firing the machines up now.
Number five is up.
Number seven's up.
Kopetsky pulls right out.
Looks like Williams is having trouble
getting his engine going.
And as they head
into the first turn,
Kopetsky on number eight
is in the lead.
Look at that.
Williams got it running.
But he's got a long way to go.
Go, go, go!
It looks like the Morgan brothers
are really challenging Kopetsky there.
They are chasing him down...
- Ride my tail.
- Mike Morgan, on Moovover, second.
And his brother, John, on number
seven, is right behind him.
Williams now is on the track,
he's catching up.
At the back of the pack,
he's starting to move up nicely.
And he's putting on some real speed,
but he is way behind.
And it looks like we've got a duel
shaping up in the front of the pack.
Mike Morgan is really going
after Kopetsky.
- Eat it, Morgan!
- Watch it!
He's pushed Morgan
towards the hay bale there.
It looks like he pushed him
right off the track.
- Damn it! God!
- Keep it clean there, Kopetsky.
John Morgan is moving up now
to see if he can snatch the lead
away from Kopetsky.
- Come on, Eddie!
- Go!
And here comes Williams
on number nine.
He's catching up.
This could be a three-way race, folks.
- Go, go, go!
- Get him!
Kopetsky is trying to hold him off now.
Weaving back and forth to the inside.
Williams trying to go outside,
now trying to cut inside.
Kopetsky will have none of it.
He's holding him off. One lap to go.
Let them hear it, folks.
Going around the third corner...
Go! Go! Go!
Williams, the rookie,
is really out for the gold.
He's coming after Kopetsky
on the inside.
Kopetsky is trying to hold him off
with some quick moves.
Watch out for him, Williams.
He'll mess with you.
It's Kopetsky and Williams now.
Oh, my God, they bumped!
Did you see that?
Williams is coming in first!
Williams, the first-time rookie rider,
takes the championship
of the super-modifieds.
That's great.
- It's stupid.
- He said it was for all the marbles.
- I won them. I'm going to keep them.
- Hey, you.
Fine race, sir.
- I'm gonna kick your ass.
- Just try.
- Hey, you guys. John, stop.
- You couldn't get me, Kopetsky.
- Get off me.
- Get off.
- Are you OK?
- Yes.
Here, come over here.
I still think we should've stopped
at that biker bar,
shown them your hog.
Are we trying to set some record
of how many times
I can get beaten up in one night?
If we were fencing, he would've
been in serious trouble.
He still would have punched you.
I think that people around here
are getting the wrong idea
about you and me.
What idea is that?
That we're involved.
Which we're not.
Definitely not.
Because you hate me.
Yes, very much.
What? What's wrong?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Which is why I am going
to walk you to your door...
and bid you good night.
He's been like this
since I got here yesterday.
- Give it back!
- Back off, Clearasil!
- Stop.
- You stop.
I'm studying.
Eddie, finals are coming up.
You need to be serious.
I am serious. OK, I will study.
OK. I am. I am.
No. Stop.
God, I've read the same
sentence 15 times.
Come with me.
- Oh, my God!
- Your Highness,
- is she your new girlfriend?
- Go! Go!
- What's her name?
- This is great!
Prince Edvard, is this what
you've been doing?
Here! This way!
- Come on, hurry!
- Prince Edvard!
- Hurry, hurry!
- Over here!
Stop! Stop! Your Highness!
Prince Edvard, look over here!
- Prince Edvard!
- What is up?
- Go down the stairs.
- OK, OK.
- Over here, Prince Edvard!
- This way!
- What's her name?
- Hurry!
I think we have it.
What the hell was that? Why were
they calling you Prince Edvard?
Because that's my name.
What? That's crazy!
You're a prince and that's why
they were taking photos of us?
Are there a lot of princes where
you're from, or are you kind of it?
I'm it.
- You must be freezing. Let's get you...
- You lied to me!
No, I didn't lie to you. I just didn't want
to be Prince Edvard for once in my life.
I never should have started this.
You are exactly the kind of distraction
I was trying to avoid.
Are those pictures gonna
be in the newspaper?
- Yes. Lots of them.
- Are you sure?
Yes. This isn't my first indiscretion.
I'm... I'm sorry.
- Paige, wait.
- Stay away from me.
- I love you.
- You love me?
Why should I believe that?
- You were just pretending.
- No, I wasn't pretending.
No, I wasn't pretending!
Outside! I said, outside!
- Outside!
- Right over here.
- I will not tell you again!
- I'm so sorry.
Let's go to work.
Eddie, I think this may be for you.
- Hello?
- Soren, put Edvard on the line.
One moment, Your Majesty.
- Edvard.
- Hello, Mother.
Edvard, you have
to come home now.
For your father's sake.
He's very ill.
Lady Macbeth may have
convinced him to kill Duncan,
but he knew it was his fate
long before she even tried.
Destiny is not something
that you can fight against.
But what about circumstance?
Take Othello, for instance.
Was Othello fated to kill Desdemona,
or did lago create the circumstance?
I think it's both. On the surface,
lago is the bad guy.
But if we look closer, we see
that the crack lago exploited
- was of Othello's own making.
- But still, Othello made choices.
Bad ones.
Othello had love, but he
chose not to listen to his heart.
Love doesn't come around every day,
and when it does,
you gotta grab it and hold on.
I mean, they could've lived
happily ever after.
I know that that's
a corny schoolgirl fantasy...
but what if the fantasy
actually became true and...
What if there really
is a handsome prince?
- Miss Morgan...
- But he's a really good kisser.
- What if you just know you're in love?
- Miss Morgan...
And all the things you thought were
important don't matter anymore,
because the most important
thing is to be with him.
- Miss Morgan.
- Then it's not some silly fantasy.
It's actually real.
I mean, don't you think those
two people should be together?
- Yes.
- Yes.
I do too.
Hi. Where's Eddie?
Oh, you mean Prince Ate-My-
He left after his last final.
Someone dropped
that off for you.
- Where are you going?
- Denmark.
- Why?
- It's in the note.
The sun itself sees not
Till heaven clears
Still not really getting it here, Paige.
You've got to look
underneath the surface.
So you're just gonna show up
at some castle in Denmark,
- knock on the door and ask for Eddie?
- I don't know what I'm going to do.
I've never felt this way before.
My stomach is all in knots.
Sounds like you're in love.
I'm not thinking like
a sane person right now.
I just know that if I don't see him,
I'll spend the rest of my life wondering.
- So 310 on this one.
- Two sixty on this one.
- One thirty-seven on this one.
- And 700 on this one.
Oh, thank you.
Excuse me, what's that building
over there?
This is the old stock exchange.
You see on the roof?
You know, that's dragons
twisting their tails.
Yeah, we're stuck here until it's over.
- Until what's over?
- The parade.
Every time the royal family
steps out of the house, you know,
- they close down half the city.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- You know, it's OK.
I'll just get out here.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Long live the queen!
Eddie! Eddie!
Eddie! Eddie!
- It's Paige Morgan!
- Paige Morgan?
- Paige Morgan?
- Paige Morgan.
Look, there's Paige Morgan
from the newspaper!
- Paige! Paige! Paige! Paige!
- Eddie, it's Paige Morgan!
Paige Morgan!
Eddie! Eddie!
His Royal Highness,
the crown prince, and a guest.
- Just wait here.
- OK.
I now proclaim this session
of Parliament open.
Let's go.
- Oh, no.
- What?
You didn't tell me you lived
with your parents.
- Hi.
- My word.
- Miss Paige.
- Soren!
Oh, hugging the help?
You're going to fit in
very well around here.
Right. I will see you
in a moment.
And Soren will show you
where to go.
- May I?
- Absolutely.
My pleasure.
This is the south courtyard.
You, of course,
came through the private gate.
- Hi.
- Miss Paige.
Right. Hi.
This is where we keep the mops.
- Absolutely not!
- I love her and she loves me.
- Absolutely not!
- I love her and she loves me.
- And we will do as we please.
- Oh, love.
And when has it ever
been about that?
It has taken us a lot to get
where we are today.
All we want is to be together.
It has taken you a lot to get
to where you are?
It has taken us 1200 years
to get to where we are.
In a few weeks' time,
you will ascend the throne as king,
and I will let nothing
stand in the way of that.
Certainly not some tawdry little affair
with a gold-digging American girl
who dreams of becoming
the next Princess Di.
Mother, you cannot tell me whom
to love and how to live my life.
Edvard, I am sure she
has outstanding qualities.
But once the news of your father's
illness becomes public,
the people will
require reassurance.
Yes, and I will proudly
and confidently ascend the throne.
- Good.
- As soon as you allow me
to choose my own bride.
Out of the question.
She is a commoner.
Well, then I hope you think
that Arabella is fit to be the queen
at the age of 12.
Oh, no, I'm forgetting
about Nestor.
Oh, don't threaten us!
Cousin Bartholomew's
idiot son, Nestor.
The 47-year-old virgin in diapers.
Oh, the people will rejoice.
Edvard, you will be
the next king of Denmark.
- Do you hear me?
- Yes, sir.
Now, about your young lady.
If you say you love her
as you do,
and you believe she will make
you happy, then marry her.
Haraald, you can't mean that.
Maybe this is not a good time
to discuss...
No, it's a perfect time.
It is at the end of a man's life
when he realizes
how important his decisions
were at the beginning.
And in 1502, King Gustav IV fell,
hit his head on a rock,
had his famous moment
of enlightenment. Claimed he saw God
at the bottom of this lake.
He went charging off through
the castle to tell everyone.
he was carrying a torch.
Curtains caught fire,
burnt down half the palace.
Thus, observe the new wing.
He takes great pleasure
in twisting my ancestors' history.
Today has been the most
incredible day of my life.
Come with me.
I have something important
to tell you.
The reason I had to come back...
is because my father has
decided to pass the crown to me.
So you're gonna be king.
I love you so much.
And I know the sacrifices
you would have to make.
What are you doing?
Paige Morgan,
will you marry me?
Oh, good morning.
- Good morning, ma'am.
- Good morning.
- Coffee?
- Oh, I can get it myself
if you show me
where the kitchen is.
Or a Starbucks?
- Grande decaf nonfat latte.
- Yes, ma'am.
You and Edvard getting married!
It's so romantic!
- You must be Arabella.
- Call me Ari.
Isn't it wonderful?
We're going to be sisters.
More hugging?
- Whatever will we do with you?
- Thank you.
Well, then, I thought we might run
through your schedule for the day.
I have a schedule?
As of this morning you do.
Come on.
At 9:00, you have a groundbreaking
with Edvard.
Also attending
will be Countess Yungen.
Remember, if you're facing her,
the good eye is the left one.
At 10:15,
there's a photo opportunity.
Holding hands with Edvard
on the royal yacht.
Opening of a Miro exhibit
at the museum at noon.
12:40 is when you can
call your parents.
Yes, a 1:00 luncheon
with the queen.
Deep breaths.
You'll get through this
in spectacular fashion.
After all, that's what the people
expect of our future queen.
Oh, my God.
I mean, I knew it worked that way, but
I hadn't really thought about it like that.
Do you think that people are gonna
mind if I'm gonna be their queen
- and all I've seen is the airport?
- No.
Do you a have dress
for Eddie's coronation ball yet?
- No.
- You may come in now.
This is Margueritte.
She can design anything you like.
Chanel, Dior, Armani, Prada.
- It's very nice to meet you.
- Turn.
Excuse me?
Come, ladies.
Long torso.
Good figure.
Terrible American posture.
I don't work with hunchbacks.
- When is the wedding, Miss Morgan?
- Good morning.
When these plants are completed,
Denmark will lead
the European community
in vegetable oil
and specialty fat production.
Farm girl.
So where do the future king and queen
go on their honeymoon?
I was thinking Morocco.
It's really hard
to organize security there.
Oh, right, OK.
What about Spain?
Yes, Spain is good.
I'm sure King Juan Carlos won't
mind lending us his private island
for a few weeks in the summer.
I swear.
Well, it's hanging well in the front.
Is this part supposed to be loose?
- She doesn't speak.
- At all?
To you.
Well, is this part
supposed to be loose?
Well, it has been worn that way
for the past 200 years.
The opening of this new wing of the
Dangard Pediatric Hospital illustrates...
- Where's Paige?
- I don't know.
Our country's commitment
to improving healthcare
for all of our people...
There she is.
I was just being nice to some kids.
Which every paper
felt compelled to report.
Well, what's wrong with that?
That you did it in a new,
state-of-the-art, government-funded,
billion-kroner hospital,
which suddenly all these newspapers
have no interest in mentioning.
We had an opportunity
on the eve of a national strike,
to show the people what their
healthcare system can do for them.
Instead, all they know
is that you are nice to children.
I'm sorry. I'm trying.
It's gonna take me a while
to get the hang of things.
Being royal is not like
being famous or being rich.
It is something much, much more.
It is a way of being that can
only be learned from birth.
It is an embodiment
which requires you to sacrifice
who you are for who you must be.
Well, I'm Paige Morgan
from Manitowoc, Wisconsin.
Paige Morgan can no longer exist.
She is gone.
You are now
the future queen of Denmark...
plain and simple.
Excuse me, Your Majesty.
Your Royal Highness,
it's time to leave.
All right. Thank you, Soren.
His Royal Highness,
the crown prince.
- Royal Highness.
- Prime minister.
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
In the interest of expedience,
I've asked the lead negotiator
for the national unions
and the lead negotiator for our nation's
corporate interests to join us.
Good morning.
- I'm very pleased to meet you.
- Nice to meet you again.
Your Royal Highness.
I know your exposure to these
proceedings has been rather limited...
Mr. Anderson, I'm well aware
of the traditions and the protocols
of this chamber,
and while I respect them,
we only have six hours
before all hell breaks loose.
So don't you think the time
for gamesmanship has passed?
- Yes, sir.
- Then we are in agreement.
Please be seated.
And get comfortable
because we're not leaving here
until this is solved.
And where will this
additional money come from?
Well, perhaps management
will tighten their belts.
- Our belts?
- Yes! It might do you some good
- to go without.
- These are businesses, not charities.
If we can't come to
a resolution about wages,
perhaps we can discuss
concessions on benefits.
- No concessions!
- You take and take
- and will give nothing in return!
- You are impossible!
Gentlemen, please. Let's remember
this is not about us.
You know, when I was in America,
I spent some time
with Paige's family on her farm.
And they explained
something to me.
That we are all interdependent.
So we had better start caring
for our opposition
as much as we do for ourselves.
I wonder if anyone on this table knows
what it's like to work for a tiny wage.
And then to see that wage get
sliced up even further by taxes.
Now, I can tell you from experience,
it can be a mighty struggle.
But then I suspect it would be
substantially more difficult
to see your job...
and your benefits
disappear altogether.
Now, at the moment,
we are six percent apart. Correct?
Now, if the goal is to let
the workers keep more
without damaging the corporation,
then perhaps there's
a third path to consider.
He was brilliant. He got the unions
to lower their demands,
the corporations to raise their offer,
and Parliament to cut the workers'
wage tax to make up the difference.
Now, that's impressive.
OK, about the dress.
Am I supposed
to be able to breathe?
- No.
- Oh, well, then it's perfect.
Miss Paige, the queen would
like to see you immediately.
Don't worry. I'll be by your side
the entire time.
- Soren, get out.
- Yes, Your Majesty.
These are my new babies.
My new hopefuls.
I know you think I don't like you.
I like traditions.
I like traditions,
and I like consistency
and continuity,
and I don't like change.
when that change is for the better...
when it helps turn a boy
into a man...
then I have to reconsider.
Two weeks ago, I thought you were
the end of the monarchy.
Now I see you may be the best thing
that ever happened to us.
Thank you.
And now we have that settled...
we have to make you
into the best queen
that Denmark has ever had.
Come with me.
Between you and me, Paige,
being queen is not without its charms.
So, my dear,
what would you like to wear
to the coronation ball?
Very beautiful.
Your ears will be killing you by the end
of the evening, though. Trust me.
Harry Winston.
It's very appropriate.
- Sorry. Would you excuse me?
- Certainly, sir.
Yes, Your Highness.
Sorry. Pardon me.
Paige, may I have this dance?
Of course.
I hope you don't mind,
but I've requested our song.
We have a song?
We have a song.
Let's go somewhere.
It kind of bothers me.
Right. Come with me.
Excuse me, sir. I know that you and
your father wanted to speak privately
with the king of Norway
before he left.
Right, of course.
Thank you, Soren.
Listen, when I get back,
I've got a special treat for you.
Oh, good. I was wondering when
I was going to start being treated well.
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you, sir.
- You remember my son, Edvard?
- Very nice to meet you.
- Nice to see you again.
- You too.
Father, I really think
you should be sitting down.
Did those Egyptian photographers
make you pose
for all those photos
riding on camels?
- Yeah.
- Interesting creatures.
They store all that water,
but they never seem to bathe in it.
Oh, yeah.
So down to business.
We have to talk about fishing rights.
We've both signed a treaty.
The main thing is to maintain stock
and to respect...
Right, I've got something
to show you.
Stay there.
relax, my dear, as I make you...
the perfect sandwich.
I think you'll find...
that the student
has now become the teacher.
I can see how proud
your father is of you.
Eddie, this has all been extraordinary.
A real life fairy tale.
But I can't do it anymore.
What are you saying?
I'm saying I can't stay.
Well, what's the matter?
When I first met you,
I was so focused
because I was scared.
And you got me out of that,
which is the greatest thing
anyone's ever done for me.
But I'm still me, and all the things
that I want to do are still a part of me,
and I thought I could make myself
forget about that,
but I can't.
What about us?
You belong here, not me.
And your father needs you
to be there...
for your mother and Arabella.
I mean, is that it?
We never see each other again?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I can't make you stay, can I?
I can't make you stay.
Long live His Majesty,
King Edvard III.
Today marks a profound, though
bittersweet, milestone for all of us...
as we bear witness
to both an end and a beginning.
And while we must continue on,
we must also be grateful
to have been blessed
with someone
who has so ably guided us
to where we are today.
When there has been so much love...
and happiness for someone...
it is natural to be reluctant...
to close such a wonderful chapter
in our lives.
- Excuse me.
- For moving forward
is rarely accomplished without
considerable grief and sadness.
And while our sorrow
may be profound...
the clouds will clear...
and the sun will shine on us again.
And in that warm, bright light...
we will find ourselves
facing a glorious future.
A future of exciting challenges...
and infinite possibility...
in which the horizon
will stretch out before us...
rimmed in the heavenly glow...
of the sunrise of our tomorrow.
Can everybody...?
Can we get the girls together
for a group shot?
Just a quick one. OK.
Great. All right.
OK. Amy, sweetheart.
All right, Amy. Amy, here.
All right, girls? Girls?
- Say, "Cheese curds".
- Cheese curds!
Beautiful, girls.
I'm so proud of you.
Let me see.
Oh, sweetheart...
Thou art as wise as thou art beautiful
I want you in my life, Paige.
I want to marry you.
If that means I have to wait
until you finish medical school,
become a doctor
and anything else you want to do,
then I'll do it.
I'll wait.
Denmark isn't ready
for a queen like me.
Well, then they'll have to be...
because I am.