Puss in Boots (2011) Movie Script
Through the years,
I have been known by many names.
Diablo Gato.
The Furry Lover.
Chupacabra.
Friskie Two-Times.
And the Ginger Hit Man.
But to most... I am Puss In Boots!
Outlaw.
I will never forget you... Margherita.
I mean, Rosa.
Sorry. I think maybe I should go.
You cannot run forever,
Puss In Boots!
What can I say? I was a bad kitty.
Just a fugitive from the law...
forever running.
Searching for a way to clear my name.
And I would get that chance...
...on this one fateful night.
Here, kitty, kitty!
Raoul.
Look what the cat dragged in.
Oh, wait... That is the cat!
One leche, please.
What are you doing here, seor?
Did you lose your ball of yarn?
So funny.
One leche coming up.
I am not looking for trouble.
I am but a humble gato
in search of his next meal.
Perhaps you gentlemen
can help me find a simple score?
The only thing you'll find tonight
is trouble... Puss In Boots.
Well, perhaps if one of us were to
tell the law that you are in town,
we could split the reward.
You made the cat angry.
You do not want to make the cat angry!
The Church of St. Michael
has just put up a golden statue
of the Virgin of Guadalupe.
I do not steal from churches.
The boys' orphanage has been donated
silver candlesticks,
they would look very lovely
in your home.
I do not steal from orphans.
What about Jack and Jill?
- Shh! Are you crazy?
- The what?
The murderous outlaws Jack and Jill
have gotten their hands on...
magic beans.
Do not joke with me about magic beans!
I searched half my life for them.
They do not exist.
No, cat. We have seen them.
These... are the beans of legend.
Grows a vine to the Land of Giants,
and the Golden Goose.
The Golden Goose...
A heist like this
could set you up for life.
All nine of them.
Show him the golden eggs.
No!
Please, you have shown enough.
Only a cat with a death wish would
steal the beans from Jack and Jill.
The only wish I have
is to repay an old debt.
And this is my chance.
Now...
...where do I find this Jack and Jill?
I'm sorry... we have no rooms.
Well, I think one just opened up.
We'd like a complimentary
continental breakfast.
And don't even think about skimpin'
on them baby muffins.
We don't have any baby muffins.
You know, Jill...
...I been thinking.
Get it out.
I... Once we're done
with this magic bean business
and got ourselves
all them beautiful golden eggs...
Go on.
...that we cut down on some
of the hijacking and murdering.
I mean, it's fun and all, but...
...I want a baby.
A baby what, Jack?
A baby us, Jill. We'll raise it wild,
like a squirrel or something.
Holy frijoles!
They do exist.
Ever since you fell down that hill
and broke your crown,
you have been talking crazy.
It couldn't hurt to have
an extra shooter during ambushes.
Maybe I cut too deep...
cut that brain out of your head.
Hey! What gives?
If it's to be a girl,
she'll have your strong...
No! No! No!
You, you, you! You stop where you are!
I don't know, Jack. How do I ride and
shoot with a baby slung on my back?
They got them backpacks now.
The way I see it, Jill...
Those beans are mine!
...we fall off this flat earth one time.
What better proof of our love...
Me?
You snap me?
You snap me?!
You looking for something?
No.
No hablo ingls.
You are going to pay for this!
No!
Chupacabra!
Chupacabra! Chupacabra!
- Chupacabra!
- You are a crazy woman!
Those magic beans were my score!
You just cost me a chance
at getting the golden eggs, mi amigo.
Put up your dukes.
Very well.
If it is to be a dance fight,
then I will Tuesday-Night-Dance-Fight
you to the death!
How dare you do the Litter Box at me!
Hello!
Can you feel me?
Fear me... if you dare.
You hit me in the head with a guitar?!
You are a woman?
Amateur.
Wow!
Seorita, wait!
Let me buy you some leche!
I am a lover, not a fighter.
Hello?
You are hiding from me?
I like to play the games, too.
I sense in you a kindred spirit, a...
I smell something familiar.
Something... dangerous.
Something...
...breakfasty.
It's been a long time, brother.
Maldito huevo.
Humpty Alexander Dumpty.
How dare you show your face to me.
I know you're angry.
You have every right.
But it is good to see you, Puss.
Are those new boots?
No! They are the same boots I wore
when you betrayed me.
Betrayed you?
You left me cracked in pieces
on a bridge, surrounded by soldiers!
They wrote a song about it!
And how did we get on that bridge
in the first place?!
Because we were brothers, and brothers
are supposed to look after each other...
Humpty!
Remember why we're here.
I should have known.
I had the magic beans in my grasp,
and you sent this very attractive
devil woman to interfere.
You are a curse on my life!
Wait. Hear me out. OK?
Yes, yes,
I sent Kitty to bring you here.
But she is no ordinary thief.
She's Kitty Softpaws.
The softest touch in Spain.
That's a lot of heel for a guy,
don't you think?
Look, with Kitty's skill,
your sword and my brain,
we've got a fighting chance here.
Puss, come on, you of all people
know that nobody's ever ripped off
the giant's castle
and lived to tell the tale.
You want to survive? You need a plan.
And I've studied this job my whole life.
You know that.
Let's be honest.
Without me, you don't even know
where to plant the beans, Puss.
But Jack and Jill do.
They're on their way.
We go up the beanstalk outlaws,
and we come down legends.
So what do you say?
Partners?
No. Never again.
I'm sorry, OK?
How long are you gonna hold a grudge?
It's been seven years!
That's like 35 cat years.
You need me! And I need you.
Puss! You got any idea what they do
to eggs in San Ricardo prison?
I'll tell you this, my friend.
It ain't over easy.
Adis... Humpty Dumpty.
Oh, this is bad. This is bad.
Don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I know how to speak meow.
...sad story with your twisted lies
in your greasy shell
that smells like old ham!
I should crack you open for...
Look what I found.
Someone forgot his money.
Oh, you are dangerous.
Humpty says you like danger.
Just think of all the trouble
we can get into.
The two of us together.
We can steal a lot of golden eggs.
And... you owe me.
I owe you?
You hit me in the head with a guitar.
I regret the guitar.
OK, I forgive you.
So... you're in?
There is one teeny, tiny,
itty-bitty problem.
And what is that?
You work for the egg!
Come on, Puss. What happened between
you and Humpty that was so bad?
I am afraid with me and Humpty...
...the scars are too deep.
It all started a long time ago.
Oh, no. You really don't have to tell me
your whole life story, please.
You may want to sit.
It is at times quite... painful.
OK, here we go.
It was a year
in which the rain had not fallen.
The wind was big
and the basket was small.
For days, I bounced along...
...a hungry little kitten
with no milk, no mama,
and no litter box.
Until I came to rest at a home
for lost children.
Her name was Imelda.
And, like a mother, she took me
into her heart and raised me as her own.
Silencio.
She was an angel of kindness.
Silencio!
Most of the time.
I'd like to introduce
a new boy joining us.
It's OK, pequeo.
You show with the face.
Go on.
And that was the moment I met...
Humpty Alexander Dumpty.
Hey, Whiskers! You're sitting
in Little Boy Blue's chair.
Oh, come on. Is this necessary?
Why don't you pick on
somebody your own size?
Who asked you, Breakfast?
Remember what Imelda says, Boy Blue:
If you're going to blow your top,
you blow your horn instead, right?
Let's spin him.
Please don't spin me. Do not spin me!
Not again! No! I'm going to yolk!
Even though he took my beans,
the egg stood up for me,
and I decided then...
...that I would always have his back.
Wow!
That was very impressive. Thanks!
Hey, egg boy!
There was something about this
strange little egg that intrigued me.
Oh... it's you.
I've been collecting for months now.
You never know when you're gonna
get lucky. You know what I mean?
Magic beans... is what they are.
Hello?
You gonna tell all the other kids
that I believe in magic now?
Is that what you're gonna do?
No? What's your name?
You don't say much, do you?
I think I'll call you Sparky.
Whiskers?
Zoltar!
How about Puss?
Humpty's mind
was full of imagination and invention.
What is that, 50 feet down there?
Here we go. Give me a...
Puss!
Look at me, Puss! I'm flying!
He spoke of legends and adventures
beyond my wildest dreams.
When I find those magic beans,
they'll grow a vine
straight up into the clouds,
where a terrible and a fearsome giant
hoards his greatest treasure...
...the Golden Goose.
Oh, the Golden Goose. Just one.
Just one of her golden eggs...
could set me for life.
It's my destiny, Puss.
I can't really explain it,
but I just feel like I belong up there.
Oh, boy. This is awkward.
This is kind of a solo dream here.
I don't need any dead weight,
you know, holding me down.
What are you doing?
Oh, man, that's good. The eye thing that
you're doing, that is really splendid.
OK, let me just think for a second.
All right... OK.
This is crazy, but...
...I am considering a partnership.
I just need to know one thing.
Can you commit?
S... I can commit.
Oh, you can talk!
Could you help me up?
OK...
First rule of Bean Club...
...you do not talk about Bean Club.
Second rule of Bean Club...
...is you don't talk about Bean Club.
You ready?
Ready.
From this day forth,
it shall be known...
Never alone, always together...
Humpty and Puss...
Brothers forever.
And from that moment on,
we were united on a great adventure
to find the magic beans.
Help me up.
Egg me.
Humpty was the brains...
- Good gracious!
- I never saw him!
- That really hurt!
- ...and I was the skill.
I'm cracked!
We got red beans, green beans, coffee
beans, lima beans... but no magic beans.
Would you care for a jelly bean?
Thank you.
Finding them meant everything to us.
I almost forgot
the most important thing.
That's me and you, Puss.
Me and you.
But we never did find them.
And, as years passed,
the quest for magic beans
seemed more and more
like the dreams of a child.
As teenagers,
Humpty and I looked for trouble...
...and often found it.
Third time this month, Imelda.
Next time is jail time.
They're just kids.
They are thieves.
You are better than this.
I believe in you with all my heart.
Please do not let me down.
I hate this place.
I cannot wait for us to get out of here.
Throw a rock.
It'll make you feel better.
Oh, boy. We should go.
On instinct, I reacted.
He saved the Comandante's mother!
You saved my mother.
Seor Puss... he is a hero!
Today we see that courage and bravery
come in all sizes!
Little did I know that one moment
would change my whole life.
These are for you, my boy.
Wear them as a symbol of honor...
and justice.
I will make you proud, Mama.
You already have, my Puss In Boots.
How strange it was
to give a cat boots...
...but, whoa... I looked good!
And as the light of my path
grew brighter...
...Humpty's road grew ever darker.
Gracias, Comandante.
Be careful of the company you keep.
I know! I know, I never should've
tried something without you.
You're not stealing lollipops anymore,
Humpty. This is getting serious.
You're right!
We have to be smarter about this.
Here, look. We need to think bigger.
I've been casing the silversmith
and it's perfect.
You and me, in and out,
Will you put that away!
This is our home.
These people have done nothing to us.
Our home? OK, yeah, I get it now.
You get some fancy boots
and now you're too good for me?
That is not true.
We weren't born here.
We're orphans!
All we got is each other,
you understand?
We are better than this.
But we're partners.
We are brothers.
But I am not stealing anymore.
But Humpty would not give up so easily.
I'm in trouble, Puss!
It's Boy Blue and his gang.
I owe them some money.
They're coming for me.
Just get me over this wall.
I gotta go. Help me up the wall.
Get me up the wall. Hurry! Hurry!
OK, I've got everything. We did it.
Come on, let's go!
How could you do this to me?!
I did you a favor!
We can finally get out of here!
This is the money of the people!
This is all they have!
You disgrace those boots!
Comandante, please, I can explain!
Arrest them!
Hurry up! Get to the bridge!
- You tricked me!
- I had to! You left me no choice!
Mama...
Pequeo.
Watch out!
Oh, no.
Puss. I can't get up.
Puss! Help me. I can't get up!
Freeze!
Puss, save me!
Save yourself.
We got you.
I lost everything
I cared about that day.
My brother.
My honor.
My home.
All I thought about was the
disappointment in my mama's eyes.
And I have been running ever since.
The egg betrayed me.
His lies cost me everything.
- Hey!
- I'm awake!
You think I don't want to fix the past?
I can't get down.
Listen. A day... A day doesn't go by
when I don't think about what I lost.
I lost my best friend.
My only friend.
And I get it now. I got greedy
and desperate and I let you down.
I let myself down.
All I'm asking for, Puss,
is a second chance.
Give me that second chance
and I'll help you pay back San Ricardo.
Please, Puss.
Let me show you
what our friendship meant to me.
- I will do it.
- That's great.
I will do this for my mother
and for San Ricardo... not for you.
We are not partners
and we are not friends.
OK. I promise this time,
I will not let you down.
Yes!
I think we got our Bean Club back.
Humpty's plan better work.
Listen, you just need to worry about
your part. Don't screw it up.
- What?
- Again with the mask?
I don't need style advice
from Mr. Dusty Boots.
Come on, Puss. Now!
Our biological clocks
are tickin', darlin'.
- You gotta look at the big picture.
- What's your problem?
Listen.
I put a lot of work into my body.
I look good, and I am not
just gonna throw that away.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- What?
- We're gonna start small.
- Look.
Let's just pretend you have a baby.
Excellent.
I don't have time to be at home
with no diapers and baby socks.
You don't have to, Jill.
I'll be the stay-at-home dad.
We got ten hungry piggies,
there in the back.
You can practice on them.
Just pull over, feed them.
- That little Hamhock's my favorite.
- You've got to hurry up.
He's a cute little bugger.
Why are you not using your claws?
Would you please just shut up!
I'm on it!
- Just use your claws!
- Be quiet.
- Your claws!
- I don't have any claws, all right?!
Was that Hamhock?
There, there.
Sleepy, sleepy, big, fat piggy.
Remember when we had to pretend
we had that monkey one time...?
You babysit.
- Soft paws.
- When did we have a monkey?
Well?
...what happened last time...
You sat on it, Jack.
Hello, beans of legend.
Let's go.
Well, well, well.
Look what we have here, Jill.
You messed with our baby.
And you took my beans.
Sausage bomb!
You're gonna pay for this!
Soul-sucking cats!
Signal the egg!
Yes!
- OK.
- Ready.
- Set.
- Go!
Oh, my God!
All right, cat. Give me them beans.
Is it true
a cat always lands on its feet?
No! That is just a rumor spread by dogs!
Well, let's find out.
See? I told you I wouldn't let you down!
You think this is over?
Hey, that was close!
Now!
We just got to make it to that bridge!
Hang on!
- Humpty! There is no bridge!
- Trust me.
Humpty!
We're going to die!
I hate cats.
This is war!
Giant's castle...
...here we come.
I must hand it to the egg.
This was a team effort.
Humpty still has his claws...
I mean, flaws. That was what I meant,
not claws. He's not a cat.
- Not to say there's anything wrong...
- I don't want to talk about it.
Got it.
OK, we should be close!
Keep your eyes out
for any strange cloud activity!
I am called Kitty Softpaws
because I'll steal you blind
and you'll never know I was there.
Kitty?
You are not as good as they say.
You're better.
I will respect your privacy.
OK. I'll tell you.
I was just a stray...
...but I had beautiful claws.
One day,
a really nice couple took me in.
Gave me milk every morning.
Loved me.
Maybe I scratched their curtains
or played too rough with the hamster.
I don't know why they did it.
But they took my claws.
Cat people are crazy.
Stop the coach! I think this is it!
Can you believe this, Puss?
After all these years!
Here. I want you to plant them.
That... is a strange cloud.
OK! This is it! It's happening, hurry!
This way!
Good, good.
Come on, come on, come on.
Twenty-three divided by cloud depth.
Hole! Right here.
Now place the beans.
Place the beans carefully, please.
Not on top of each other.
The magic is very delicate.
OK, good. Very good.
Now just stand back.
What's happening here?
Maybe the magic rubbed off
in your pocket?
- That's impossible.
- OK, OK. Let's not panic.
You know, I read somewhere
that plants have feelings.
So, come on...
say something nice to it.
OK.
Let me just think for a second.
Hi, little plant.
Guys?
Humpty!
- I do not see him. Do you see him?
- I don't see him anywhere.
You sound weird.
It's the thin air!
Come on in! It feels great!
The cloud, it tickles my nose.
That's because they effervesce!
Who knew?
Come on.
Gotcha!
Meow.
Hey, Puss.
What do you think? Do I shave?
Let me show you something.
Somewhere down there,
there are two little kids,
I don't know, maybe orphans,
and they're laying on a hill,
staring at the clouds,
dreaming about the future.
That was me and you, Puss.
Me and you.
Boys!
You might want to take a look at this.
The giant's castle.
OK, time to suit up.
Humpty!
I'll fit right in with the golden eggs.
Brilliant or what, huh?
Humpty, you're not wearing underwear!
What? Are you embarrassed? I'm not.
Puss, remember when everyone
was laughing at Bean Club?
And who is laughing now? We are!
Wow!
That is our target.
Hey, you don't sound
like an elf anymore.
It's because the air pressure
in here is normal.
Let's go.
So here is the plan: You two get
the golden eggs, I will fight the giant.
There's no giant to fight.
The giant's been dead for years.
- What?!
- You didn't do the reading, did you?
Jack and the Beanstalk, chapter 14,
"Giant Takes a Big Dirt Nap."
Ankle burn.
- What was that?
- They call it the Great Terror.
It's the monster that guards
the Golden Goose.
Legend has it that if you look at it,
you'll turn to stone.
But nobody really knows because
nobody's walked away from it alive.
Follow me and keep quiet.
Shh! Humpty!
I can't help it.
Everything's rubbing and pinching!
I need powder!
How are we gonna get across?
Champagne.
Cheers!
Do not worry. I will protect you.
What are you gonna do?
Hit it in the head with a guitar?
Please. Stop bringing up the guitar.
Catch me!
Hurry!
Hide!
Don't look at it!
- Humpty! Be quiet!
- I'm hyperventilating!
I said I couldn't breathe and then
you zipped the thing over my mouth!
You gotta get it together. Come on!
OK.
Look at this. It's egg paradise.
It's so beautiful,
I feel like I belong here.
Golden eggs.
Grab as many as you can.
I thought they were going to be
like chicken size.
Can you imagine laying
one of these? Ouch!
Puss!
How are we supposed to
get these out of here?
I don't know.
Oh, my!
The Golden Goose.
Just look at her. Isn't she beautiful?
My sweet darling.
I think she likes you.
Let's just take her.
Wait a minute.
This is the goose of legend.
We don't know what happens
if we take her.
I know what happens
if we don't take her, we got nothing.
Guys, guys. It's a gold pooper.
We're taking it!
Almost there!
Hang on!
It's coming!
Run!
Kitty!
What are you doing?
Hang on!
Come here, you.
Got you!
She's mine now!
Hello!
Oh, no! Fly, little gosling, fly!
No! It's not supposed to be this way!
- Puss?
- No.
I'm sorry.
Thanks, Ginger.
We should maybe cut that down.
Look at that. You finally
got that family you wanted, Jack.
Did you hear that?
I think he just called me Daddy.
- He looks just like you, Jack.
- Thank you.
Well, what is it?
I do believe that's our cue.
To paying back San Ricardo!
To being rich!
Ol!
You.
Me?
Yeah, yeah, baby!
One, two, cha-cha-cha!
Three, four, cha-cha-cha!
One, two... What?!
There is one word for you,
Kitty Softpaws: Me-wow!
I know you have quite a reputation
with the ladies, Mr. Friskie Two-Times.
I've also been known as the...
Furry Lover!
But that was before I met you.
You don't know me, Puss. I'm not who
you think I am. I'm all about the score.
Come on. Look me in the eyes and
tell me all you care about is the gold.
Puss...
Kitty...
Oh, my God!
New partners!
Do not fall for his animal magnetism.
You stay focused.
What?!
So... I have been thinking,
Miss Softpaws,
that when we go our separate ways,
we can go our separate ways...
...together.
Puss, you have to go, now.
You do not have to push me away
anymore. You can trust me.
Give it up for the legends of San
Ricardo, Humpty and Puss! We did it!
- I'm calling it a night, guys.
- Kitty! Stay up with us.
No, I feel a... hairball coming on.
OK, yeah. Have fun with that!
We should give her some privacy.
I never thought we would get to here.
After all we went through...
...to pull this off, together.
It is good to have my brother back.
Yep. Sure is.
Well, we have a big day tomorrow.
Pretty exciting stuff.
We should get some rest.
Good night, Humpty.
Canasta!
I am still alive!
Jack and Jill.
Kitty?
Humpty?
I will find you.
Get out of here!
Be gone!
What do you want? Gold? I have gold!
Jack, egg's trying to bribe us.
With our own gold.
Come on now,
all we want is a little breakfast.
- No, no, please!
- How do you like your eggs, pumpkin?
Humpty, no!
Hello, Puss.
Surprise!
What is going on?
It's a surprise party,
and the surprise is on you.
Looks like the cat's out of the bag.
You were in cahoots?!
Oh, yeah! They all work for me.
I spent a lot of time in prison
preparing for this.
- You set me up.
- Oh, yeah, I set you up. Of course.
You think this was all about getting
the gold and clearing your name?
This little adventure
was about one thing.
Revenge.
You never knew it, Puss...
but I was always there.
You wanted to repay an old debt, Puss?
Well, so did I.
Why would you do this?
You left me on that bridge!
You abandoned me
when I needed you the most.
- What happened to "brothers forever"?!
- I trusted you!
Well, now you're finally gonna know
what it feels like,
you know, to trust someone
and have them stab you in the back.
Guards!
Puss In Boots, you're under arrest
for the robbery of the San Ricardo Bank!
Consider this the final meeting
of Bean Club.
I should scramble you with onions!
You should never have come back.
Pequeo! Wait.
Do not fight them, please.
Mama! Listen to me. I can explain.
No. Puss, no more running.
Please stop breaking my heart
and face what you have done.
I'm sorry, Mama.
I let you down.
Paws where we can see them!
Turn around... slow.
Slower!
Step into the carrier... quiet-like.
Attention! Attention, everyone! If you
could just come in a little closer.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present
to you... the Golden Goose of legend!
Kitty. Not you, too?
Gold for everyone!
We got some fresh,
hot gold here, people!
Step right up! Get it hot!
Huevos! Huevos! Huevos!
One hat.
One belt.
And two boots...
...once a symbol of honor.
One bottle of catnip?
It is for my glaucoma.
This is where you belong, outlaw.
And this is where you will stay...
forever.
No, no. Don't stop on my account.
Well, it looks like the egg
got what he wanted.
You're talking about Humpty?
Don't say his name! I used to
share this cell with that smelly thing.
Happiest day of my life
was when he left.
Till I realized he stole my magic beans.
Wait, wait, wait!
You had the beans? Who are you?
Hey! What's your name?
Andy Beanstalk!
My friends call me Jack.
I traded the family cow for them beans.
Course'n, it wasn't my family's cow.
It was some other family's family cow.
That's why I got eight to ten.
Always know which cow is yours.
Crazy man. Wake up!
What else do you know?
We're all goners,
thanks to that little stinky!
I told him not to take the goose,
but all he wanted was his revenge!
Don't take the goose. Why?
The Great Terror!
That's the Golden Goose's mama.
Oh, no.
And she will be out for blood
when she comes back for her baby.
Guard! San Ricardo is in terrible
danger! You must listen to me!
Quiet, you!
Shut up.
Open the door.
Drop the weapon.
Very good.
Step aside.
No.
Diablo Gato!
Nice try.
I hope you can forgive me.
Apology accepted!
I don't really have time for you.
I have to save the town
from the Great Terror!
Wait, Puss!
Don't you see? I'm here because...
I am here
because you made me realize
that there is something
I care about more than gold.
Something?
OK. Someone.
He's about two feet tall,
wears high heels.
Handsome?
He's very handsome.
A real beefcake?
- A stallion?
- Yes.
- Tiger?
- Oh, brother.
But this does not make us even.
Freeze!
Yes, it does.
No, no, no, it doesn't.
I saved you!
You owed me one.
You didn't tell me about Humpty.
So now you owe me two.
- You're a lot of work.
- I know. But I am worth it!
You are not getting away, Puss In Boots!
Wrong boots.
Kitty!
Now we're even!
This is your San Ricardo weather report.
Chances of a giant goose
destroying the town...
...one hundred percent.
Never alone, always together...
Humpty and Puss...
Brothers forever.
Come on, sweetie. Let's get
out of here before Mama shows up.
I should make you
into an egg salad sandwich!
That is disgusting!
Give me the goose, Humpty.
No can do, I'm afraid.
See, the mama's on her way,
and when she gets here,
it's bye-bye San Ricardo
and everything you ever cared about!
Revenge on me is one thing,
but why Imelda? Why the orphanage?
This is our home.
You mean your home.
I never belonged here.
We had a plan to get out of here,
but then you became a hero
and you picked this place over me.
You left me with nothing.
Humpty... I'm sorry I hurt you.
But do not take it out on these people.
You are better than this!
- No, I'm not.
- Oh, come on!
I know the real Humpty.
The way you saw the world!
The inventor! The dreamer!
What happened to that guy?
I... I think it's too late.
It is never too late
to do the right thing.
Together we can save San Ricardo!
I can forgive you, Humpty...
if you help me now.
Really?
After everything I put you through?
Prove to me there is still
a good egg in you.
I'll try.
Goggles, check.
Get the baby over the bridge.
I'll get the mother to follow.
OK. Give me a...
Puss!
Mama Goose!
Wait!
Just follow me
and I will lead you to your baby.
No! Not that way!
Pequeo, help!
Hang on!
That's my boy!
Come with me, Mama Goose.
I know where your baby is.
Here. Look!
Humpty, pick up the pace!
I'm trying, Puss! I'm trying!
Sorry, egghead,
we want more than just eggs.
So how about you give us that goose!
Humpty!
Get her off!
- Nice moves.
- What would you do without me?
Freeze!
Comandante!
I can explain?
Gato, you are going back to jail
if it's the last thing I do!
Humpty, hurry!
We're almost there. We're almost there!
- Puss, help!
- Humpty, hang on!
Puss!
Here we are again, right, Puss?
I will not leave you behind
this time, Humpty.
I'm sorry, Puss.
I've made a mess out of everything.
I'm a rotten egg.
I'm not a person.
I'm not a bird. I'm not even a food.
I don't know what I am.
You are what you have always been.
My brother.
Brothers forever.
- You can't save us both.
- Yes, I can! Just hang on!
Puss, you have to save the baby,
or the mama will destroy San Ricardo.
It's the right thing to do.
I will not let you go, Humpty.
I know you won't.
So I won't make you choose.
Humpty!
I'm very sorry.
She's OK.
Humpty?
I always knew that you were good inside.
Goodbye, Humpty.
- Yeah, I think it's wonderful...
- And I got a goose egg.
It's him. Puss In Boots.
He saved us from the giant goose!
His sword is like lightning!
They say he has ten lives.
His boots are made
of the finest Corinthian leather.
He only drinks whole milk.
Good leche.
He's no outlaw. He saved us!
Meow?
A gift for you, Mama.
I have to go.
The soldiers are coming for me.
I am so proud of you, my son.
Today, you faced the past
with bravery and honor.
You earned those boots.
And the people know that
you are San Ricardo's greatest hero.
I did it for you, Mama.
You will always be in my heart.
And you in mine.
Gato!
- There he is!
- I see him!
I will see you again, Kitty Softpaws!
Sooner than you think.
She is a bad kitty.
This is the story of a cat
who became a hero.
An outlaw dedicated to justice.
And a lover of beautiful women.
A great... great lover.
Really. It is crazy.
I am Puss In Boots!
And my name would become... legend!
Meow.
I have been known by many names.
Diablo Gato.
The Furry Lover.
Chupacabra.
Friskie Two-Times.
And the Ginger Hit Man.
But to most... I am Puss In Boots!
Outlaw.
I will never forget you... Margherita.
I mean, Rosa.
Sorry. I think maybe I should go.
You cannot run forever,
Puss In Boots!
What can I say? I was a bad kitty.
Just a fugitive from the law...
forever running.
Searching for a way to clear my name.
And I would get that chance...
...on this one fateful night.
Here, kitty, kitty!
Raoul.
Look what the cat dragged in.
Oh, wait... That is the cat!
One leche, please.
What are you doing here, seor?
Did you lose your ball of yarn?
So funny.
One leche coming up.
I am not looking for trouble.
I am but a humble gato
in search of his next meal.
Perhaps you gentlemen
can help me find a simple score?
The only thing you'll find tonight
is trouble... Puss In Boots.
Well, perhaps if one of us were to
tell the law that you are in town,
we could split the reward.
You made the cat angry.
You do not want to make the cat angry!
The Church of St. Michael
has just put up a golden statue
of the Virgin of Guadalupe.
I do not steal from churches.
The boys' orphanage has been donated
silver candlesticks,
they would look very lovely
in your home.
I do not steal from orphans.
What about Jack and Jill?
- Shh! Are you crazy?
- The what?
The murderous outlaws Jack and Jill
have gotten their hands on...
magic beans.
Do not joke with me about magic beans!
I searched half my life for them.
They do not exist.
No, cat. We have seen them.
These... are the beans of legend.
Grows a vine to the Land of Giants,
and the Golden Goose.
The Golden Goose...
A heist like this
could set you up for life.
All nine of them.
Show him the golden eggs.
No!
Please, you have shown enough.
Only a cat with a death wish would
steal the beans from Jack and Jill.
The only wish I have
is to repay an old debt.
And this is my chance.
Now...
...where do I find this Jack and Jill?
I'm sorry... we have no rooms.
Well, I think one just opened up.
We'd like a complimentary
continental breakfast.
And don't even think about skimpin'
on them baby muffins.
We don't have any baby muffins.
You know, Jill...
...I been thinking.
Get it out.
I... Once we're done
with this magic bean business
and got ourselves
all them beautiful golden eggs...
Go on.
...that we cut down on some
of the hijacking and murdering.
I mean, it's fun and all, but...
...I want a baby.
A baby what, Jack?
A baby us, Jill. We'll raise it wild,
like a squirrel or something.
Holy frijoles!
They do exist.
Ever since you fell down that hill
and broke your crown,
you have been talking crazy.
It couldn't hurt to have
an extra shooter during ambushes.
Maybe I cut too deep...
cut that brain out of your head.
Hey! What gives?
If it's to be a girl,
she'll have your strong...
No! No! No!
You, you, you! You stop where you are!
I don't know, Jack. How do I ride and
shoot with a baby slung on my back?
They got them backpacks now.
The way I see it, Jill...
Those beans are mine!
...we fall off this flat earth one time.
What better proof of our love...
Me?
You snap me?
You snap me?!
You looking for something?
No.
No hablo ingls.
You are going to pay for this!
No!
Chupacabra!
Chupacabra! Chupacabra!
- Chupacabra!
- You are a crazy woman!
Those magic beans were my score!
You just cost me a chance
at getting the golden eggs, mi amigo.
Put up your dukes.
Very well.
If it is to be a dance fight,
then I will Tuesday-Night-Dance-Fight
you to the death!
How dare you do the Litter Box at me!
Hello!
Can you feel me?
Fear me... if you dare.
You hit me in the head with a guitar?!
You are a woman?
Amateur.
Wow!
Seorita, wait!
Let me buy you some leche!
I am a lover, not a fighter.
Hello?
You are hiding from me?
I like to play the games, too.
I sense in you a kindred spirit, a...
I smell something familiar.
Something... dangerous.
Something...
...breakfasty.
It's been a long time, brother.
Maldito huevo.
Humpty Alexander Dumpty.
How dare you show your face to me.
I know you're angry.
You have every right.
But it is good to see you, Puss.
Are those new boots?
No! They are the same boots I wore
when you betrayed me.
Betrayed you?
You left me cracked in pieces
on a bridge, surrounded by soldiers!
They wrote a song about it!
And how did we get on that bridge
in the first place?!
Because we were brothers, and brothers
are supposed to look after each other...
Humpty!
Remember why we're here.
I should have known.
I had the magic beans in my grasp,
and you sent this very attractive
devil woman to interfere.
You are a curse on my life!
Wait. Hear me out. OK?
Yes, yes,
I sent Kitty to bring you here.
But she is no ordinary thief.
She's Kitty Softpaws.
The softest touch in Spain.
That's a lot of heel for a guy,
don't you think?
Look, with Kitty's skill,
your sword and my brain,
we've got a fighting chance here.
Puss, come on, you of all people
know that nobody's ever ripped off
the giant's castle
and lived to tell the tale.
You want to survive? You need a plan.
And I've studied this job my whole life.
You know that.
Let's be honest.
Without me, you don't even know
where to plant the beans, Puss.
But Jack and Jill do.
They're on their way.
We go up the beanstalk outlaws,
and we come down legends.
So what do you say?
Partners?
No. Never again.
I'm sorry, OK?
How long are you gonna hold a grudge?
It's been seven years!
That's like 35 cat years.
You need me! And I need you.
Puss! You got any idea what they do
to eggs in San Ricardo prison?
I'll tell you this, my friend.
It ain't over easy.
Adis... Humpty Dumpty.
Oh, this is bad. This is bad.
Don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I know how to speak meow.
...sad story with your twisted lies
in your greasy shell
that smells like old ham!
I should crack you open for...
Look what I found.
Someone forgot his money.
Oh, you are dangerous.
Humpty says you like danger.
Just think of all the trouble
we can get into.
The two of us together.
We can steal a lot of golden eggs.
And... you owe me.
I owe you?
You hit me in the head with a guitar.
I regret the guitar.
OK, I forgive you.
So... you're in?
There is one teeny, tiny,
itty-bitty problem.
And what is that?
You work for the egg!
Come on, Puss. What happened between
you and Humpty that was so bad?
I am afraid with me and Humpty...
...the scars are too deep.
It all started a long time ago.
Oh, no. You really don't have to tell me
your whole life story, please.
You may want to sit.
It is at times quite... painful.
OK, here we go.
It was a year
in which the rain had not fallen.
The wind was big
and the basket was small.
For days, I bounced along...
...a hungry little kitten
with no milk, no mama,
and no litter box.
Until I came to rest at a home
for lost children.
Her name was Imelda.
And, like a mother, she took me
into her heart and raised me as her own.
Silencio.
She was an angel of kindness.
Silencio!
Most of the time.
I'd like to introduce
a new boy joining us.
It's OK, pequeo.
You show with the face.
Go on.
And that was the moment I met...
Humpty Alexander Dumpty.
Hey, Whiskers! You're sitting
in Little Boy Blue's chair.
Oh, come on. Is this necessary?
Why don't you pick on
somebody your own size?
Who asked you, Breakfast?
Remember what Imelda says, Boy Blue:
If you're going to blow your top,
you blow your horn instead, right?
Let's spin him.
Please don't spin me. Do not spin me!
Not again! No! I'm going to yolk!
Even though he took my beans,
the egg stood up for me,
and I decided then...
...that I would always have his back.
Wow!
That was very impressive. Thanks!
Hey, egg boy!
There was something about this
strange little egg that intrigued me.
Oh... it's you.
I've been collecting for months now.
You never know when you're gonna
get lucky. You know what I mean?
Magic beans... is what they are.
Hello?
You gonna tell all the other kids
that I believe in magic now?
Is that what you're gonna do?
No? What's your name?
You don't say much, do you?
I think I'll call you Sparky.
Whiskers?
Zoltar!
How about Puss?
Humpty's mind
was full of imagination and invention.
What is that, 50 feet down there?
Here we go. Give me a...
Puss!
Look at me, Puss! I'm flying!
He spoke of legends and adventures
beyond my wildest dreams.
When I find those magic beans,
they'll grow a vine
straight up into the clouds,
where a terrible and a fearsome giant
hoards his greatest treasure...
...the Golden Goose.
Oh, the Golden Goose. Just one.
Just one of her golden eggs...
could set me for life.
It's my destiny, Puss.
I can't really explain it,
but I just feel like I belong up there.
Oh, boy. This is awkward.
This is kind of a solo dream here.
I don't need any dead weight,
you know, holding me down.
What are you doing?
Oh, man, that's good. The eye thing that
you're doing, that is really splendid.
OK, let me just think for a second.
All right... OK.
This is crazy, but...
...I am considering a partnership.
I just need to know one thing.
Can you commit?
S... I can commit.
Oh, you can talk!
Could you help me up?
OK...
First rule of Bean Club...
...you do not talk about Bean Club.
Second rule of Bean Club...
...is you don't talk about Bean Club.
You ready?
Ready.
From this day forth,
it shall be known...
Never alone, always together...
Humpty and Puss...
Brothers forever.
And from that moment on,
we were united on a great adventure
to find the magic beans.
Help me up.
Egg me.
Humpty was the brains...
- Good gracious!
- I never saw him!
- That really hurt!
- ...and I was the skill.
I'm cracked!
We got red beans, green beans, coffee
beans, lima beans... but no magic beans.
Would you care for a jelly bean?
Thank you.
Finding them meant everything to us.
I almost forgot
the most important thing.
That's me and you, Puss.
Me and you.
But we never did find them.
And, as years passed,
the quest for magic beans
seemed more and more
like the dreams of a child.
As teenagers,
Humpty and I looked for trouble...
...and often found it.
Third time this month, Imelda.
Next time is jail time.
They're just kids.
They are thieves.
You are better than this.
I believe in you with all my heart.
Please do not let me down.
I hate this place.
I cannot wait for us to get out of here.
Throw a rock.
It'll make you feel better.
Oh, boy. We should go.
On instinct, I reacted.
He saved the Comandante's mother!
You saved my mother.
Seor Puss... he is a hero!
Today we see that courage and bravery
come in all sizes!
Little did I know that one moment
would change my whole life.
These are for you, my boy.
Wear them as a symbol of honor...
and justice.
I will make you proud, Mama.
You already have, my Puss In Boots.
How strange it was
to give a cat boots...
...but, whoa... I looked good!
And as the light of my path
grew brighter...
...Humpty's road grew ever darker.
Gracias, Comandante.
Be careful of the company you keep.
I know! I know, I never should've
tried something without you.
You're not stealing lollipops anymore,
Humpty. This is getting serious.
You're right!
We have to be smarter about this.
Here, look. We need to think bigger.
I've been casing the silversmith
and it's perfect.
You and me, in and out,
Will you put that away!
This is our home.
These people have done nothing to us.
Our home? OK, yeah, I get it now.
You get some fancy boots
and now you're too good for me?
That is not true.
We weren't born here.
We're orphans!
All we got is each other,
you understand?
We are better than this.
But we're partners.
We are brothers.
But I am not stealing anymore.
But Humpty would not give up so easily.
I'm in trouble, Puss!
It's Boy Blue and his gang.
I owe them some money.
They're coming for me.
Just get me over this wall.
I gotta go. Help me up the wall.
Get me up the wall. Hurry! Hurry!
OK, I've got everything. We did it.
Come on, let's go!
How could you do this to me?!
I did you a favor!
We can finally get out of here!
This is the money of the people!
This is all they have!
You disgrace those boots!
Comandante, please, I can explain!
Arrest them!
Hurry up! Get to the bridge!
- You tricked me!
- I had to! You left me no choice!
Mama...
Pequeo.
Watch out!
Oh, no.
Puss. I can't get up.
Puss! Help me. I can't get up!
Freeze!
Puss, save me!
Save yourself.
We got you.
I lost everything
I cared about that day.
My brother.
My honor.
My home.
All I thought about was the
disappointment in my mama's eyes.
And I have been running ever since.
The egg betrayed me.
His lies cost me everything.
- Hey!
- I'm awake!
You think I don't want to fix the past?
I can't get down.
Listen. A day... A day doesn't go by
when I don't think about what I lost.
I lost my best friend.
My only friend.
And I get it now. I got greedy
and desperate and I let you down.
I let myself down.
All I'm asking for, Puss,
is a second chance.
Give me that second chance
and I'll help you pay back San Ricardo.
Please, Puss.
Let me show you
what our friendship meant to me.
- I will do it.
- That's great.
I will do this for my mother
and for San Ricardo... not for you.
We are not partners
and we are not friends.
OK. I promise this time,
I will not let you down.
Yes!
I think we got our Bean Club back.
Humpty's plan better work.
Listen, you just need to worry about
your part. Don't screw it up.
- What?
- Again with the mask?
I don't need style advice
from Mr. Dusty Boots.
Come on, Puss. Now!
Our biological clocks
are tickin', darlin'.
- You gotta look at the big picture.
- What's your problem?
Listen.
I put a lot of work into my body.
I look good, and I am not
just gonna throw that away.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- What?
- We're gonna start small.
- Look.
Let's just pretend you have a baby.
Excellent.
I don't have time to be at home
with no diapers and baby socks.
You don't have to, Jill.
I'll be the stay-at-home dad.
We got ten hungry piggies,
there in the back.
You can practice on them.
Just pull over, feed them.
- That little Hamhock's my favorite.
- You've got to hurry up.
He's a cute little bugger.
Why are you not using your claws?
Would you please just shut up!
I'm on it!
- Just use your claws!
- Be quiet.
- Your claws!
- I don't have any claws, all right?!
Was that Hamhock?
There, there.
Sleepy, sleepy, big, fat piggy.
Remember when we had to pretend
we had that monkey one time...?
You babysit.
- Soft paws.
- When did we have a monkey?
Well?
...what happened last time...
You sat on it, Jack.
Hello, beans of legend.
Let's go.
Well, well, well.
Look what we have here, Jill.
You messed with our baby.
And you took my beans.
Sausage bomb!
You're gonna pay for this!
Soul-sucking cats!
Signal the egg!
Yes!
- OK.
- Ready.
- Set.
- Go!
Oh, my God!
All right, cat. Give me them beans.
Is it true
a cat always lands on its feet?
No! That is just a rumor spread by dogs!
Well, let's find out.
See? I told you I wouldn't let you down!
You think this is over?
Hey, that was close!
Now!
We just got to make it to that bridge!
Hang on!
- Humpty! There is no bridge!
- Trust me.
Humpty!
We're going to die!
I hate cats.
This is war!
Giant's castle...
...here we come.
I must hand it to the egg.
This was a team effort.
Humpty still has his claws...
I mean, flaws. That was what I meant,
not claws. He's not a cat.
- Not to say there's anything wrong...
- I don't want to talk about it.
Got it.
OK, we should be close!
Keep your eyes out
for any strange cloud activity!
I am called Kitty Softpaws
because I'll steal you blind
and you'll never know I was there.
Kitty?
You are not as good as they say.
You're better.
I will respect your privacy.
OK. I'll tell you.
I was just a stray...
...but I had beautiful claws.
One day,
a really nice couple took me in.
Gave me milk every morning.
Loved me.
Maybe I scratched their curtains
or played too rough with the hamster.
I don't know why they did it.
But they took my claws.
Cat people are crazy.
Stop the coach! I think this is it!
Can you believe this, Puss?
After all these years!
Here. I want you to plant them.
That... is a strange cloud.
OK! This is it! It's happening, hurry!
This way!
Good, good.
Come on, come on, come on.
Twenty-three divided by cloud depth.
Hole! Right here.
Now place the beans.
Place the beans carefully, please.
Not on top of each other.
The magic is very delicate.
OK, good. Very good.
Now just stand back.
What's happening here?
Maybe the magic rubbed off
in your pocket?
- That's impossible.
- OK, OK. Let's not panic.
You know, I read somewhere
that plants have feelings.
So, come on...
say something nice to it.
OK.
Let me just think for a second.
Hi, little plant.
Guys?
Humpty!
- I do not see him. Do you see him?
- I don't see him anywhere.
You sound weird.
It's the thin air!
Come on in! It feels great!
The cloud, it tickles my nose.
That's because they effervesce!
Who knew?
Come on.
Gotcha!
Meow.
Hey, Puss.
What do you think? Do I shave?
Let me show you something.
Somewhere down there,
there are two little kids,
I don't know, maybe orphans,
and they're laying on a hill,
staring at the clouds,
dreaming about the future.
That was me and you, Puss.
Me and you.
Boys!
You might want to take a look at this.
The giant's castle.
OK, time to suit up.
Humpty!
I'll fit right in with the golden eggs.
Brilliant or what, huh?
Humpty, you're not wearing underwear!
What? Are you embarrassed? I'm not.
Puss, remember when everyone
was laughing at Bean Club?
And who is laughing now? We are!
Wow!
That is our target.
Hey, you don't sound
like an elf anymore.
It's because the air pressure
in here is normal.
Let's go.
So here is the plan: You two get
the golden eggs, I will fight the giant.
There's no giant to fight.
The giant's been dead for years.
- What?!
- You didn't do the reading, did you?
Jack and the Beanstalk, chapter 14,
"Giant Takes a Big Dirt Nap."
Ankle burn.
- What was that?
- They call it the Great Terror.
It's the monster that guards
the Golden Goose.
Legend has it that if you look at it,
you'll turn to stone.
But nobody really knows because
nobody's walked away from it alive.
Follow me and keep quiet.
Shh! Humpty!
I can't help it.
Everything's rubbing and pinching!
I need powder!
How are we gonna get across?
Champagne.
Cheers!
Do not worry. I will protect you.
What are you gonna do?
Hit it in the head with a guitar?
Please. Stop bringing up the guitar.
Catch me!
Hurry!
Hide!
Don't look at it!
- Humpty! Be quiet!
- I'm hyperventilating!
I said I couldn't breathe and then
you zipped the thing over my mouth!
You gotta get it together. Come on!
OK.
Look at this. It's egg paradise.
It's so beautiful,
I feel like I belong here.
Golden eggs.
Grab as many as you can.
I thought they were going to be
like chicken size.
Can you imagine laying
one of these? Ouch!
Puss!
How are we supposed to
get these out of here?
I don't know.
Oh, my!
The Golden Goose.
Just look at her. Isn't she beautiful?
My sweet darling.
I think she likes you.
Let's just take her.
Wait a minute.
This is the goose of legend.
We don't know what happens
if we take her.
I know what happens
if we don't take her, we got nothing.
Guys, guys. It's a gold pooper.
We're taking it!
Almost there!
Hang on!
It's coming!
Run!
Kitty!
What are you doing?
Hang on!
Come here, you.
Got you!
She's mine now!
Hello!
Oh, no! Fly, little gosling, fly!
No! It's not supposed to be this way!
- Puss?
- No.
I'm sorry.
Thanks, Ginger.
We should maybe cut that down.
Look at that. You finally
got that family you wanted, Jack.
Did you hear that?
I think he just called me Daddy.
- He looks just like you, Jack.
- Thank you.
Well, what is it?
I do believe that's our cue.
To paying back San Ricardo!
To being rich!
Ol!
You.
Me?
Yeah, yeah, baby!
One, two, cha-cha-cha!
Three, four, cha-cha-cha!
One, two... What?!
There is one word for you,
Kitty Softpaws: Me-wow!
I know you have quite a reputation
with the ladies, Mr. Friskie Two-Times.
I've also been known as the...
Furry Lover!
But that was before I met you.
You don't know me, Puss. I'm not who
you think I am. I'm all about the score.
Come on. Look me in the eyes and
tell me all you care about is the gold.
Puss...
Kitty...
Oh, my God!
New partners!
Do not fall for his animal magnetism.
You stay focused.
What?!
So... I have been thinking,
Miss Softpaws,
that when we go our separate ways,
we can go our separate ways...
...together.
Puss, you have to go, now.
You do not have to push me away
anymore. You can trust me.
Give it up for the legends of San
Ricardo, Humpty and Puss! We did it!
- I'm calling it a night, guys.
- Kitty! Stay up with us.
No, I feel a... hairball coming on.
OK, yeah. Have fun with that!
We should give her some privacy.
I never thought we would get to here.
After all we went through...
...to pull this off, together.
It is good to have my brother back.
Yep. Sure is.
Well, we have a big day tomorrow.
Pretty exciting stuff.
We should get some rest.
Good night, Humpty.
Canasta!
I am still alive!
Jack and Jill.
Kitty?
Humpty?
I will find you.
Get out of here!
Be gone!
What do you want? Gold? I have gold!
Jack, egg's trying to bribe us.
With our own gold.
Come on now,
all we want is a little breakfast.
- No, no, please!
- How do you like your eggs, pumpkin?
Humpty, no!
Hello, Puss.
Surprise!
What is going on?
It's a surprise party,
and the surprise is on you.
Looks like the cat's out of the bag.
You were in cahoots?!
Oh, yeah! They all work for me.
I spent a lot of time in prison
preparing for this.
- You set me up.
- Oh, yeah, I set you up. Of course.
You think this was all about getting
the gold and clearing your name?
This little adventure
was about one thing.
Revenge.
You never knew it, Puss...
but I was always there.
You wanted to repay an old debt, Puss?
Well, so did I.
Why would you do this?
You left me on that bridge!
You abandoned me
when I needed you the most.
- What happened to "brothers forever"?!
- I trusted you!
Well, now you're finally gonna know
what it feels like,
you know, to trust someone
and have them stab you in the back.
Guards!
Puss In Boots, you're under arrest
for the robbery of the San Ricardo Bank!
Consider this the final meeting
of Bean Club.
I should scramble you with onions!
You should never have come back.
Pequeo! Wait.
Do not fight them, please.
Mama! Listen to me. I can explain.
No. Puss, no more running.
Please stop breaking my heart
and face what you have done.
I'm sorry, Mama.
I let you down.
Paws where we can see them!
Turn around... slow.
Slower!
Step into the carrier... quiet-like.
Attention! Attention, everyone! If you
could just come in a little closer.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present
to you... the Golden Goose of legend!
Kitty. Not you, too?
Gold for everyone!
We got some fresh,
hot gold here, people!
Step right up! Get it hot!
Huevos! Huevos! Huevos!
One hat.
One belt.
And two boots...
...once a symbol of honor.
One bottle of catnip?
It is for my glaucoma.
This is where you belong, outlaw.
And this is where you will stay...
forever.
No, no. Don't stop on my account.
Well, it looks like the egg
got what he wanted.
You're talking about Humpty?
Don't say his name! I used to
share this cell with that smelly thing.
Happiest day of my life
was when he left.
Till I realized he stole my magic beans.
Wait, wait, wait!
You had the beans? Who are you?
Hey! What's your name?
Andy Beanstalk!
My friends call me Jack.
I traded the family cow for them beans.
Course'n, it wasn't my family's cow.
It was some other family's family cow.
That's why I got eight to ten.
Always know which cow is yours.
Crazy man. Wake up!
What else do you know?
We're all goners,
thanks to that little stinky!
I told him not to take the goose,
but all he wanted was his revenge!
Don't take the goose. Why?
The Great Terror!
That's the Golden Goose's mama.
Oh, no.
And she will be out for blood
when she comes back for her baby.
Guard! San Ricardo is in terrible
danger! You must listen to me!
Quiet, you!
Shut up.
Open the door.
Drop the weapon.
Very good.
Step aside.
No.
Diablo Gato!
Nice try.
I hope you can forgive me.
Apology accepted!
I don't really have time for you.
I have to save the town
from the Great Terror!
Wait, Puss!
Don't you see? I'm here because...
I am here
because you made me realize
that there is something
I care about more than gold.
Something?
OK. Someone.
He's about two feet tall,
wears high heels.
Handsome?
He's very handsome.
A real beefcake?
- A stallion?
- Yes.
- Tiger?
- Oh, brother.
But this does not make us even.
Freeze!
Yes, it does.
No, no, no, it doesn't.
I saved you!
You owed me one.
You didn't tell me about Humpty.
So now you owe me two.
- You're a lot of work.
- I know. But I am worth it!
You are not getting away, Puss In Boots!
Wrong boots.
Kitty!
Now we're even!
This is your San Ricardo weather report.
Chances of a giant goose
destroying the town...
...one hundred percent.
Never alone, always together...
Humpty and Puss...
Brothers forever.
Come on, sweetie. Let's get
out of here before Mama shows up.
I should make you
into an egg salad sandwich!
That is disgusting!
Give me the goose, Humpty.
No can do, I'm afraid.
See, the mama's on her way,
and when she gets here,
it's bye-bye San Ricardo
and everything you ever cared about!
Revenge on me is one thing,
but why Imelda? Why the orphanage?
This is our home.
You mean your home.
I never belonged here.
We had a plan to get out of here,
but then you became a hero
and you picked this place over me.
You left me with nothing.
Humpty... I'm sorry I hurt you.
But do not take it out on these people.
You are better than this!
- No, I'm not.
- Oh, come on!
I know the real Humpty.
The way you saw the world!
The inventor! The dreamer!
What happened to that guy?
I... I think it's too late.
It is never too late
to do the right thing.
Together we can save San Ricardo!
I can forgive you, Humpty...
if you help me now.
Really?
After everything I put you through?
Prove to me there is still
a good egg in you.
I'll try.
Goggles, check.
Get the baby over the bridge.
I'll get the mother to follow.
OK. Give me a...
Puss!
Mama Goose!
Wait!
Just follow me
and I will lead you to your baby.
No! Not that way!
Pequeo, help!
Hang on!
That's my boy!
Come with me, Mama Goose.
I know where your baby is.
Here. Look!
Humpty, pick up the pace!
I'm trying, Puss! I'm trying!
Sorry, egghead,
we want more than just eggs.
So how about you give us that goose!
Humpty!
Get her off!
- Nice moves.
- What would you do without me?
Freeze!
Comandante!
I can explain?
Gato, you are going back to jail
if it's the last thing I do!
Humpty, hurry!
We're almost there. We're almost there!
- Puss, help!
- Humpty, hang on!
Puss!
Here we are again, right, Puss?
I will not leave you behind
this time, Humpty.
I'm sorry, Puss.
I've made a mess out of everything.
I'm a rotten egg.
I'm not a person.
I'm not a bird. I'm not even a food.
I don't know what I am.
You are what you have always been.
My brother.
Brothers forever.
- You can't save us both.
- Yes, I can! Just hang on!
Puss, you have to save the baby,
or the mama will destroy San Ricardo.
It's the right thing to do.
I will not let you go, Humpty.
I know you won't.
So I won't make you choose.
Humpty!
I'm very sorry.
She's OK.
Humpty?
I always knew that you were good inside.
Goodbye, Humpty.
- Yeah, I think it's wonderful...
- And I got a goose egg.
It's him. Puss In Boots.
He saved us from the giant goose!
His sword is like lightning!
They say he has ten lives.
His boots are made
of the finest Corinthian leather.
He only drinks whole milk.
Good leche.
He's no outlaw. He saved us!
Meow?
A gift for you, Mama.
I have to go.
The soldiers are coming for me.
I am so proud of you, my son.
Today, you faced the past
with bravery and honor.
You earned those boots.
And the people know that
you are San Ricardo's greatest hero.
I did it for you, Mama.
You will always be in my heart.
And you in mine.
Gato!
- There he is!
- I see him!
I will see you again, Kitty Softpaws!
Sooner than you think.
She is a bad kitty.
This is the story of a cat
who became a hero.
An outlaw dedicated to justice.
And a lover of beautiful women.
A great... great lover.
Really. It is crazy.
I am Puss In Boots!
And my name would become... legend!
Meow.