Restless Natives (1985) Movie Script
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
LIONS GATE ENTERTAINMEN [SHEEP BLEATING
IN DISTANCE]
[MUMBLES]
THIS IS A HOLD-UP.
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
THIS IS A HOLD-UP.
WHAT'S
HE TALKING ABOUT?
OH. RAG WEEK.
RAG WEEK?
STUDENTS, YOU MORON.
NO! NO! YOU DON' UNDERSTAND.
DON'T WASTE YOUR BREATH
ASKING FOR ANY MORE.
YOU'RE THE THIRD
THIS WEEK ALREADY.
NO, REALLY.
WHAT I WANT TO KNOW,
YOUNG MAN, IS ARE WE
ON THE RIGHT ROAD
TO INVERLOCH?
WE'LL DRIVE ON.
THEY LIVE IN A WORLD
OF THEIR OWN, THESE STUDENTS.
DON'T DO THAT! THOSE CHILDREN
WILL DRIVE ME NUTS.
SHH! BE QUIET!
STOP ANNOYING
YOUR DADDY.
NOW, IF WE TAKE
THE THIRD RIGHT...
DON'T TELL ME
ANYMORE...
[BLEATING]
Man: NO. I'M NOT SAYING
IT'S A COMPLETE FAILURE.
THAT'S NOT RIGHT. I'M
NOT BOTHERED ABOUT THAT.
AND I WOULDN'T BE
IF IT WAS.
I'M JUST SAYING
MAYBE IT'S NOT RIGHT,
THAT SORT OF THING.
I MEAN, DON'T YOU THINK
IN SOME WAYS
IT'S A BAD THING TO TAKE
OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY?
IT IS! PEOPLE WORK HARD
FOR THEIR MONEY,
SOME OF THEM.
[BELL DINGS]
I'M IN A HURRY, OK?
STINK BOMB.
WHAT'S IT COST, THAT?
NASTY SUGAR.
BANGERS...
ARE YOU SURE ABOU THE NASTY SUGAR?
AYE, 3 BAGS.
UH, PICKED SCAB.
LUMINOUS SNOT,
AND A PLASTIC TURD.
3.5...
[COINS CLATTER
ON COUNTER]
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
IT COSTS JUST TO SEND
ONE SOLITARY POLICEMAN
OUT ON A CASE?
THERE'S EXPENSES.
THERE'S WEAR AND TEAR.
THERE'S PETROL.
THERE'S OVERTIME.
THAT IS TAX PAYERS'
MONEY, RONNIE.
IT'S A BAD THING.
LOOK...
WHAT DO YOU WAN OUT OF LIFE?
YOU WANT MONEY AND
YOU WANT EXCITEMENT.
RIGHT? WHY?
NO.
BECAUSE WITHOUT MONEY,
WITHOUT MONEY,
YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING!
LOOK, YOU WERE TALKING
ABOUT BAD THINGS, RIGHT?
DON'T YOU THINK
IT'S A BAD THING
THAT YOU'RE WORKING
IN A CORPORATION
AND I'M STUCK HERE
SELLING ALL THIS JUNK?
DON'T YOU THINK IT'S
A BAD THING TO SETTLE
FOR A LITTLE WHEN MAYBE
YOU COULD GET A LO OUT OF LIFE?
YOU SEE, THE POINT IS:
THE POINT IS THA WE ARE SMARTER
THAN THEY ARE.
I KEEP GETTING THESE FUNNY
WEE WARTS ON MY FINGERS.
LOOK, YOU HAVE GO TO TAKE YOUR CHANCE NOW!
EH?
THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE
ANY POINT TO IT ALL.
OH, MARY, I CAN' STAND THE STRAIN.
FIRST OFF,
YOU GET A JOB, SON.
AND NOW YOU TURN
INTO A DEEP THINKER,
A PHILOSOPHER.
WELL, WHAT YOU GONNA
BE NEXT, HUH?
THE NATION WAITS.
HE KNOWS HE'S LUCKY
TO HAVE A JOB.
DON'T YOU, DEAR?
HE'S JUST TIRED AND HE
WANTS TO EAT HIS FOOD.
CAROL PEYTON'S
BIG BROTHER'S GONE
TO NEW MEXICO, AND
HE'S GOING TO EARN
500 A WEEK
IN AMERICA.
AYE, AYE.
THERE'S OPPORTUNITIES
FOR THEM THAT WANT THEM.
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
SON?
IT'S HIS BIORHYTHMS.
HE CANNAE HELP IT.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
I'LL GET IT.
MOM?
HMM?
DOES DOING BAD THINGS
GIVE YOU WARTS?
I THINK THAT'S SOMETHING
YOU'D BETTER DISCUSS
WITH YOUR FATHER
LATER ON.
MOM, CAN I GO TO THE
DISCO ON SATURDAY?
MARY.
MOM!
HANG ON A MINUTE.
I'LL COME OUT THERE
AND TALK TO YOU
ABOUT IT.
MAYBE IF
I STAYED AT...
[MOTHER CONTINUES
INDISTINCT]
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,
YOU HAD TO GO AND SEE
THE DOCTOR FOR YOUR WARTS,
AND HE'D BURN THEM OFF OF YOU.
YOU'D LIE ON THE COUCH...
A GREAT FAT NURSE
WOULD COME ALONG.
AND SHE'D PAINT RED OINTMEN ONTO EACH WART--WHOA!
OH! THE STENCH WAS
SOMETHING TERRIBLE.
AND THEN THE DOCTOR
WOULD COME ALONG
WITH HIS LONG,
POINTED NEEDLE,
AND THE NURSE WOULD
HOLD YOU DOWN
'CAUSE YOU WERE
SCREAMING BY THEN, SEE?
AND HE'D COME AT YOU.
CLOSER...
AND CLOSER...
TILL SUDDENLY--ZIP!
RIGHT INTO THE ROOT.
[SHOUTS]
HE'S A BUGGER, TOO!
HE'S WEARING A HAT.
COME HERE, YOU FATTY!
Father:
NOT EXACTLY FIRED.
SORT OF.
SORT OF FIRED.
[TOILET FLUSHES]
WELL, MORE SORT OF
RESIGNED, ACTUALLY.
Isla: MAYBE SORT OF
RETIRED, YOU KNOW.
I'M WARNING YOU!
[CLOCK TICKING]
Ronnie: HEY!
I'VE GOT IT JUST HERE.
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS IS?
THIS IS THE THING.
IT'S MAGIC!
THEY DON'T STAND
A CHANCE NOW, MAN.
ARRRGH! HA!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
[BELL RINGS]
HAVE YOU BEEN SELLING
ANY MORE OF THAT AWFUL SUGAR
TO MY WEE ANGUS?
ME? OH!
I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE,
RONNIE WEATHERSPOON!
HOW MANY TIMES DO
I HAVE TO TELL YOU?
[TOY SQUEAKING]
I DON'T WANT ANYMORE
TROUBLE FROM YOU
WITH ANY OF MY BAIRNS!
[SQUEAK, SQUEAK]
OHH!
YOU'LL HAVE
MR. PATERSON DOWN HERE
AND I WON'T ANSWER
FOR THE CONSEQUENCES,
YOU STUPID WEE BUGGER!
JUST A WASTE OF GOOD
SPACE, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.
I'M SORRY.
I WON'T DO IT AGAIN.
SEE THAT MR. HARDWICK
GETS TO HEAR ABOUT THIS.
[DOOR SLAMS,
BELL RINGS]
I THINK I KNOW WHERE
WE CAN GET A GUN.
[IMITATING GUNFIRE]
IT'S NICE OUT HERE, YEAH?
ARE YOU SURE YOU WAN TO COME TOMORROW?
MY MOM SAYS THA THE THING THAT I WAN IS GOLD.
IF I BOUGHT A FAKE
GOLD RING OR SOMETHING,
YOU KNOW,
IT WOULD GO AWAY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WELL, ACTUALLY,
I THINK THAT'S RIGHT.
I THINK I HAVE
HEARD THAT.
THAT'S GOOD.
GOOD.
Woman: HIDDEN AMONG
THE GRAMPIAN MOUNTAINS,
STEEPED IN THE HISTORY
AND LEGEND OF A COLORFUL PAST.
PASSENGERS WILL BE ABLE
TO FRESHEN UP IN ABOU 20 MINUTES AT THE BEN
McALPINE VISITORS CENTER.
AND NOW TO YOUR LEF YOU CAN SEE
SOME OF THE MOST SPECTACULAR
SCENERY IN SCOTLAND.
THE MOUNTAIN RISING IN
THE CENTER IS BEN LOCKHART.
AND IN A CAVE ON THE OTHER SIDE,
BONNIE PRINCE CHARLIE
IS SAID TO HAVE TAKEN REFUGE
FROM THE REDCOATS.
AND TO THE RIGHT...
A MOTORCYCLE?
[AIR BRAKES HISS]
THIS IS...
A GUN!
THIS...
THIS IS A GUN!
THIS IS A HOLD-UP.
PLEASE GET ALL
YOUR CASH AND JEWELRY
READY FOR COLLECTION.
THANK YOU.
THANKS. I'M SO SORRY.
THANKS.
THEY WERE MY MOTHER'S.
I'M SO SORRY.
AND WATCHES.
THANKS. THANK YOU.
[WHIMPERS]
THANK YOU.
THANKS VERY MUCH.
[SPEAKS FRENCH]
THANK YOU. THANKS.
THANKS.
HEY, KID.
STAY CALM, OK?
[CHUCKLING]
TAKE IT EASY.
[SNIFFS] NOW, JUS TAKE IT EASY.
NOBODY'S GONNA
GET HURT.
GIVE IT UP, SMARTASS.
[HORN BEEPS]
[SNEEZE]
Will: GOD BLESS YOU.
ACHOO!
ACHOO!
Ronnie:
THAT WASN'T SO BAD.
HURRAY!
WHOO!
[SHOUTS]
STEAKS.
STEAKS THAT THICK.
WITH MASHED
POTATOES.
NO. TRIMMED
POTATOES.
PEAS AND ONION
RINGS.
AND CHOCOLATE
MILKSHAKES.
CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKES.
AND BRANDY EVERY DAY.
WHAT DID YOU PU IN THAT PUFFER?
IT WAS BRILLIANT.
ITCHING POWDER,
SNEEZING POWDER,
CURRY POWDER,
ATHLETE'S
FOOT POWDER,
AND SOME STUFF I GO OUT OF AN OLD FIREWORK.
BUT HOW DID YOU KNOW
IT WOULD WORK?
WELL, I TESTED IT,
DIDN'T I?
I TESTED IT ON ALLY
MATHEWSON'S WEE BROTHER.
HEY, THAT WEE BRANDY YOU
GOT IS REALLY...5 STAR.
COST TWO DAYS'
WAGES, THOUGH.
BUT NEVER MIND.
I CAN GO DOWN TO
THE PACKING SHOP
TOMORROW AND GET A KIT.
NO.
IT'S TERRIBLE NOW.
YOU KNOW, WE CAN' DO ANYTHING.
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
IF WE START SPENDING
ALL THIS MONEY,
THEY'RE GOING TO KNOW,
AREN'T THEY?
EVERYBODY KNOWS
WE DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.
[SIGHS]
MAYBE WE COULD
START A FUND.
YOU KNOW, LIKE A PENSION
FUND FOR FOOTBALLERS
WHEN THEY GET PAST IT.
THEN WE COULD DO
SOMETHING REALLY SPECIAL.
AYE.
SOMETHING REALLY
SPECIAL.
OH, WELL, ACTUALLY,
ACTUALLY,
I'VE BEEN THINKING
OF SOMETHING
ALONG THOSE LINES.
ANYWAY, PAL, IT'S NO THE MONEY THAT MATTERS
ANYMORE, IT'S ME
AND YOU.
WE'RE BIGGER THAN...
WE'RE BIGGER,
BIGGER THAN SOMETHING
REALLY, REALLY BIG.
WE'VE MADE IT.
THIS IS THE BIG TIME.
THE BIG TIME.
I AM NOT HOLDING UP
ANY TRAINS.
GOOD MORNING, SON.
GOOD MORNING.
I TAKE IT WE ARE
TO BELIEVE THA YOUR CEASELESS QUES FOR AN HONEST DAY'S WORK
HAS ONCE MORE
BEEN IN VAIN.
UM...
UH-HUH.
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT, SON.
YOU DID BRING I ON YOUR BLOODY SELF.
HOW IS RONNIE
GETTING ON IN THE SHOP?
ENJOYING IT, IS HE?
AYE, YES.
GOOD WEE RONNIE.
HAH!
POLICE ARE TODAY SEARCHING
FOR TWO YOUNG SCOTS
WHO HELD UP AND ROBBED
A COACHLOAD OF TOURISTS
ON A REMOTE
HIGHLAND ROAD.
[CHUCKLES]
AIN'T IT A BEAUTY.
TAKE IT, MAN.
DISGUISED AS A CLOWN
AND A WOLFMAN,
THEY TOOK AN ESTIMATED
600 IN CASH
AND AN UNKNOWN QUANTITY
OF VALUABLES
FROM THE 40
FRIGHTENED PASSENGERS
BEFORE RIDING OFF AT HIGH
SPEED INTO THE HILLS AGAIN.
THAT'S TERRIBLE.
THAT'S BLOODY CLEVER.
BUT DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S
A REALLY BAD THING TO DO,
TO TAKE OTHER
PEOPLE'S MONEY,
PEOPLE THAT HAVEN' DONE YOU ANY HARM?
WELL, OF COURSE
IT IS, WILL.
DON'T LISTEN
TO YOUR FATHER.
HE'S NOTHING BU AN OLD CROOK ANYWAY.
THE GAS SPORT ISN'T EXACTLY
THE LITTLE SISTERS OF THE POOR.
NO THANKS TO YOU.
LOOK AT THIS.
TWO YOUNG LADS HAD
THE WIT AND STYLE
TO TAKE 600 QUID
OFF A BUNCH OF STUPID TOURISTS.
AND GOD KNOWS, THEY'D
PROBABLY SPEND THAT MUCH
IN AN AFTERNOON
ON PLASTIC BLOODY BAGPIPES.
WELL, THESE LADS CAN HAVE
MY VOTE ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.
600 QUID.
MRS. BARBARA GINSBURG
OF WINVILLE, VERMONT, SAID,
"THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED
TO ME BEFORE."
THIS HAS NEVER
HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE?
AYE.
UH, HELLO THERE.
YOU MAY HAVE
HEARD OF US.
WE WERE IN THE PAPERS
LAST WEEK.
THIS IS OUR GUN.
WE HAVE A GUN!
MY FRIEND THE WOLFMAN,
HE WILL NOW COME
AMONGST YOU
AND COLLECT YOUR CASH,
JEWELRY, AND WATCHES.
OH, THANKS.
THANK YOU.
THANKS.
OH, THANK YOU.
THAT'S LOVELY.
THANKS, THANKS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
GREAT.
OH, HOLD ONTO THAT.
NO, THANKS.
OH, THAT'S LOVELY.
OH, ISN'T THAT LOVELY?
LOOK, RONNIE.
I'VE GOT TO HAVE
10 TO GET BACK
TO THE AIRPORT.
HAS ANYBODY GO A 5.00 NOTE?
Man: HERE YOU ARE, SON.
HERE'S 5 ONES.
THANKS VERY MUCH, SIR.
HERE'S 5 SINGLES.
HERE'S A 5, AND I'LL
TAKE THE 50. THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, YOUNG MAN.
THANKS. THANK YOU.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
I WON'T BE A MOMENT,
SIR.
YOU'VE JUST GOT TO
HOLD UP THE BUS.
Ronnie: COME ON! LET'S GO!
ARE YOU QUITE
FINISHED, PAL?
SORRY.
[GIRL GIGGLES]
[SHEEP BLEATING]
IT'S NOT ON.
REALLY!
IT'S JUST NOT ON.
COME ON, LET'S JUST GE THESE CHANGED AND GO.
HAVE YOU GONE SOF IN THE HEAD?
NO!
[CHATTERING]
[SPEAKING FOREIGN
LANGUAGE]
CAN YOU SPEAK I NO. I THINK IT'S MORE
LIKE THE LON CHANEY ONE.
MR. BENDER'S HERE
TO SEE YOU, SIR.
[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]
THAT'LL BE ALL.
[LAUGHING]
OHH!
ALL RIGHT, CUT THE CACKLE.
QUIET, PLEASE.
NOW, COME ON.
CUT THE RACKET.
I'VE GOT A TELEX FROM
THE SECRETARY OF STATE.
THE SCOTTISH SECRETARY.
HE SAYS THAT QUESTION
ABOUT ARMED GUARDS
IS OUT OF THE QUESTION.
QUIET, PLEASE!
FROM DETECTIVE
SHAFER, SCOTLAND:
"ADVISE UTMOS EXPEDIENCY
"IN APPREHENDING
HIGHWAYMEN.
POTENTIAL POLITICAL
HOT POTATO."
HOW ABOUT THAT, EH?
"SWIFT ACTION AND
LOW PROFILE IMPERATIVE."
LOW PROFILE.
LOW PROFILE.
[SIGHS] WELL...
WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO
IS THAT THESE TWO LADS
HAVE SHANGHAIED
TWO COACH LOADS
OF WHAT IS NOW REGARDED
AS SCOTLAND'S
PRIZE IMPORT.
AND WE ARE INSTRUCTED
TO USE THE UTMOS EXPEDIENCY IN NIPPING I IN THE BUD...
[SNAPPING]
BEFORE THEY DO
ANY FURTHER DAMAGE
TO OUR RELATIONS WITH
OUR FRIENDS FROM ABROAD.
LIAISON WITH
THE BUS COMPANIES
WILL BE TWO OF
THE NUMBERS
THAT YOU HAVE GOT,
RIGHT?
THERE SHOULD NOT BE ANY
LANGUAGE BARRIER THERE.
NOW THIS INVESTIGATION
IS TO BE CONDUCTED
ON AN INTERNATIONAL
FRAMEWORK.
AND WE ARE TO HAVE
THE ASSISTANCE OF
A GENTLEMAN
FROM CENTRAL AMERICA--
FROM THE AMERICAN CENTRAL
INTELLIGENCE BUREAU.
MR. FRITZ BENDER.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
HI.
EXCUSE ME.
CHRIST, IT'S THE MAN
FROM UNCLE.
[CHUCKLES]
AHEM.
THERE'S NOT REALLY MUCH
TO TELL THIS WEEK.
MR. HARDWICK SAYS
I CAN STAY ON TILL
THE END OF THE MONTH,
BUT AFTER THAT I DON'T KNOW.
BRUCE HAS BEEN GETTING
REALLY FAT.
GOD, YOU SHOULD SEE HIM.
HE JUST WOBBLES AROUND EATING
AND SHITTING THE WHOLE TIME.
HARDLY EVER GOES
IN HIS GRILL.
HEY, MAYBE I'M GIVING HIM
TOO MUCH NUTS.
THE WEATHER'S BEEN GOOD
APART FROM TODAY.
DID YOU KNOW THAT?
AHEM.
I'VE BEEN HOLDING UP BUSES.
YOU KNOW, LIKE,
LIKE ROBBING THEM,
TAKING ALL THE TOURISTS' MONEY.
BEEN IN THE PAPERS
AND EVERYTHING.
I'M REALLY QUITE ENJOYING IT.
ANYWAY, I'LL TRY NO TO GET IN ANY TROUBLE.
I'VE GOT TO GET BACK NOW.
Will: SHE HAD
A BONNIE NOSE.
80.
NOT TOO LONG.
AND NOT TOO WIDE.
AND NOT TAMPED DOWN
AT THE BOTTOM.
80...
HE HAD IN HIS WALLET.
A PERFECT NOSE.
HE JUST PULLED IT OU AND DROPPED IT IN THE BAG.
80, YOU KNOW?
I KNOW. IT WAS ME
HE GAVE IT TO.
HOW MUCH WAS IT?
80.
80.
[BELL RINGS]
[CLEARS THROAT]
UH, DO YOU HAVE
ANY FALSE TITS?
OH. AYE.
HOW MUCH ARE THEY?
MEDIUM 4.75.
LARGE 6.50.
MEDIUM.
COULD YOU, UH,
WRAP THEM UP?
THAT'S 4.75, PLEASE.
HERE'S YOUR CHANGE.
THERE'S YOUR RECEIPT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU.
[BELL RINGS]
OHH...
I'VE GOT TO FIND
HER AGAIN.
WHO?
YOU KNOW. HER!
NO!
[BELL RINGS]
Angus: LISTEN,
I'M IN A HURRY.
NO! NO! GET OUT!
GET! AND DON'T COME BACK!
LOOK, HOW DO YOU THINK
YOU COULD FIND HER?
THERE MUST BE MILLIONS
OF GIRLS OUT THERE
IN BUSES JUST LIKE THAT--
MILLIONS!
ANYWAY, YOU CAN'T.
YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T.
THE WHOLE OPERATION IS
COMPLETELY CONFIDENTIAL.
IT'S GOT TO BE,
OR WE'RE BUGGERED.
I DON'T HAVE TO TELL
HER ABOUT IT.
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO SAY
TO HER, THEN?
COME ON, BRUCE,
CAN YOU STRETCH
YOUR LEGS? COME ON.
I'M GONNA GE A PHONE IN HERE.
A TELEPHONE?
AYE, FOR PHONE CALLS
AND THINGS.
COME HERE AND HAVE
A LOOK AT THIS.
I'M NOT GOING TO
TOUCH THIS LOT, THOUGH.
I'M NOT GOING
TO BREAK THE RULES.
LOOK AT ME, BRUCE.
LOOK AT ME.
I'M GOING UP
TO THE BUS STATION.
HAVE YOU ANY IDEA
WHAT THE PENALTY
FOR ARMED ROBBERY IS?
IT'S 12 YEARS!
12 YEARS!
AND, AND ASSAULT...
THREATENING BEHAVIOR.
I'M NOT WEARING
A COSTUME.
WILL, PLEASE...
[SIGHS]
OK.
BUT LOOK, NO GOING
INTO THE BUS STATION,
NO TALKING TO
ANYBODY EXCEPT HER,
NO TELLING HER
WHO YOU ARE,
AND NO MENTION
I EVEN EXIST, RIGHT?
WAIT. HERE.
HERE.
POTIFER'S OINTMENT.
GUARANTEED RELIEF
FROM SHINGLES,
SCABIES, ECSEMA,
PSORIASIS,
WARTS...AND OTHER
CONDITIONS OF THE SKIN.
[BEEP, BEEP]
THEY HAD A GUN!
YOU COULD HARDLY
ASK ME TO TACKLE
TWO MASKED GUNMEN.
BUT YOU'VE BEEN WITH THE COMPANY
NEARLY TWO YEARS NOW.
THE FACT IS WHATEVER
SUPERINTENDENT BAIRD
MAY SAY, WE ARE LEF WITH A BUSLOAD OF
IRATE CLIENTS, AND
YOU'RE HALF THE CAUSE
OF THE WORRY.
MR. ILLINGWORTH--
I'M NOT GOING
TO THREATEN YOU,
BUT I'M SURE YOU'RE AWARE
OF THE POSSIBILITIES
OPEN TO THE COMPANY.
LOOK, WE'RE NO AN UNFEELING COMPANY.
I CAN UNDERSTAND A YOUNG
GIRL IN HIGH SPIRITS
GETTING CARRIED AWAY.
YES, WELL, WE ALL GE CARRIED AWAY SOMETIMES.
I EXPECT FLAWLESS REPORTS
ABOUT YOUR COURIER--
FLAWLESS!
[WOMAN ON P.A.,
INDISTINCT]
EXCUSE ME.
SORRY?
EXCUSE ME.
I'M SORRY BUT I'M
IN A BIT OF A HURRY.
PLEASE!
DO I KNOW YOU?
NO. YOU DON'T.
IMPOSSIBLE.
YOU CAN'T.
I DO KNOW YOU.
WOULD YOU LIKE
A MINT?
THE REST ARE STRONG.
WHAT DID THEY CALL YOU?
MY NAME IS WILL.
YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
YOU'VE NEVER
SEEN ME BEFORE.
ANYWAY, I'VE GO A VERY BAD HAND.
MAYBE I'LL SEE YOU
AGAIN, THEN, WILL.
I HOLD UP BUSES!
Girl: I'M BURSTING.
I'VE STILL GO YOUR FLOWERS.
IT'S THE BEST PRESEN I'VE EVER HAD.
ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME
TO WORK FOR YOU
ON THE BUSES?
NO. YOU WON'T TELL
ANYONE, WILL YOU?
I'M BURSTING.
I COULD GO FOR
A PEE MYSELF.
I REALLY THOUGH SHE WAS GONNA MAKE IT.
I REALLY DID.
[CHUCKLES]
SO CLOSE.
SAY SOME MORE.
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR
FLATTERY?
I'VE NEVER ME A ROBBER BEFORE.
I SOMETIMES WONDER
IF I'M DOING THE RIGHT THING.
IT'S LIKE ROB ROY,
ISN'T IT?
ROB ROY. THE
HIGHLAND ROBIN HOOD.
WE USED TO READ
THE STORIES--WHOA!
ME AND MY DAD.
AND I THOUGHT ROB ROY
MacGREGOR WAS BETTER
THAN BATMAN OR SUPERMAN
OR ANY OF THEM.
OH, BATMAN'S GOOD.
AH, BUT REAL PEOPLE
ARE BEST.
GOING TO HAVE TO
UPDATE MY COMMENTS,
YOU KNOW,
BECAUSE OF YOU.
BUT I DON'T MIND.
IT'S BETTER,
BECAUSE YOU'RE
STILL ALIVE.
WELL, YOU WERE
A MINUTE AGO.
[GIGGLING]
YOU KNOW, WE REALLY
SHOULD TRY TO GE BETTER PICTURES OF
OURSELVES...
TO SEND TO
THE NEWSPAPERS.
RONNIE, I'VE GO TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
I MEAN, THAT LOOKS LIKE
AN ILL PERSON'S
FACE, THAT.
I MEAN, I DON'T WAN ANYBODY TO THINK
I LOOK LIKE W.C. FIELDS
OR SOMETHING.
HEY, I KNOW
WHO TOOK THAT.
REMEMBER THE WEE
WAIF IN THE SHADES?
SHE KEP SHOUTING CHEESE.
I'VE ALWAYS GO MY EYES SHUT IN PHOTOS.
WE CAN GO UP TO
THE MACHINE AT THE STATION,
GET IT DONE PROPERLY.
RONNIE--
THERE'S SOMETHING
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU.
AYE, ME, TOO.
I FORGOT THAT BRUCE
IS LINING HIS NEST.
HE WAS OUT OF HIS CAGE
WHILE I WAS AT THE SHOPS.
IT WAS ALL IN 20 NOTES.
HOW MUCH?
I BET 200 QUID WORTH.
OH, WELL,
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
RONNIE, I'VE REALLY GO TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
Ronnie: RIGHT.
LOOK TOUGH.
Will: YOU KNOW THE GIRL,
MARGOT, THE GIRL ON THE BUS?
YOU KNOW HOW I PROMISED
NOT TO TELL HER,
YOU KNOW,
WHO I WAS AND THAT?
WELL, I DID.
[MOOING]
[POLICE SIREN]
Margot: MY DAD USED TO
TAKE ME UP THERE
WHEN I WAS LITTLE.
WHEN I STARTED AS A GUIDE,
ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS
GO BACK AND LEARN
EVERYTHING ABOUT THE HEROES.
LIKE ROB ROY?
YEAH. LIKE THAT.
THERE'S ONE LEGEND
THAT SAYS THE HEROES
AREN'T DEAD AT ALL--
JUST SLEEPING UNDERNEATH
THE HILLS, AND ONE DAY
THEY'LL COME BACK.
LIKE GHOSTS?
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
DO YOU BELIEVE
IN GHOSTS?
[MOTORCYCLE ROARS PAST]
[CHILDREN SCREAMING]
HA HA!
WHOO!
Will: LOOK, I'M JUS SAYING, IT'S NOT FAIR.
IF YOU WENT A BI SLOWER MAYBE,
THEN I COULD HAND OU THE MONEY PROPERLY
AND EVERYBODY WOULD
GET THE SAME AMOUNT.
LOOK, WILL,
WE'RE NOT SANTA CLAUS.
LOOK, IT WAS A NICE GESTURE.
GOOD FOR THE IMAGE. FINE.
BUT I CAN'T HAVE YOU
FRITTERING AWAY
OUR MONEY LIKE THAT.
HAVE YOU ANY IDEA
HOW MUCH YOU MUST HAVE
THROWN OUT?
YOU SAID IT WAS
A GOOD IDEA.
BRUCE ATE 200.
LOOK, DON'T YOU STAR MAKING INSINUATIONS
ABOUT HIM, OK?
YOU'VE GOT YOUR FRIENDS,
AND I'VE GOT MINE.
ANYWAY, HOW'D YOU GE THE MONEY TO BUY
10 BILLION CUPS OF
TEA FOR YOUR FRIEND, EH?
IT'S NOT THAT MANY.
LOOK, YOU'RE
BREAKING THE RULES.
YOU'RE USING OUR
MONEY TO FRATERNIZE.
AND NOW YOU WAN TO GIVE THE REST AWAY?
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S GOT INTO YOU.
AND WHERE ARE YOU
ALL THE TIME?
I'M NOT FRATERNIZING.
ARE WE GOING UP NORTH
AGAIN SOON?
OH, SO YOU'VE BEEN HAVING
SOME MORE CONSTRUCTIVE
IDEAS ABOUT THE BUSINESS,
THEN, HAVE YOU?
NO, NO, NO.
NOT AT ALL.
OH, YES, I HAVE!
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
WE COULD WEAR DIFFERENT MASKS
TO THROW THEM OFF OUR TRAIL.
AND MAYBE WE COULD PU SOME DIFFERENT STUFF
IN THE PUFFER,
JUST FOR A CHANGE.
PERFUME OR SOMETHING.
AYE, WE COULD HAVE A NICE
PUFFER FOR PEOPLE WE LIKED.
ONLY JOKING.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY
IF I TOLD YOU YOUR SON
WAS FAMOUS?
I MEAN, REALLY FAMOUS,
LIKE A HERO.
YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT,
DID YOU?
YOU SEE,
I GET THINGS DONE.
I DON'T JUST LIE AROUND
ALL DAY.
I FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS PLACE,
A PLACE WHERE I CAN MEET PEOPLE
WHO REALLY KNOW
HOW TO GET THINGS DONE--
PEOPLE LIKE ME.
I'M A DISADVANTAGED CHILD.
I DON'T HAVE THE SECURITY
OF THE FAMILY UNI TO BACK ME UP.
[CHATTERING]
I'VE GOT TO DO THINGS
ON MY OWN.
JUDGES ARE LENIEN ON PEOPLE LIKE ME.
WHAT'S YOUR GAME?
RONNIE WEATHERSPOON,
SIR.
YEAH. YEAH.
IT'S ALL RIGHT, TAP.
THE BOY'S WITH ME.
THE MAN HIMSELF?
HOW ARE YOU?
NICE TO SEE YOU, SON.
THANKS FOR COMING DOWN.
HOW'S BUSINESS?
IT'S NOT BAD.
GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON,
STAND BACK, YOU LOT.
COME ON, STAND BACK,
GIVE THE BOY SOME SPACE.
LADS, I HAVE HERE
THE 17th MOST WANTED MAN
IN SCOTLAND.
[CHEERING]
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I'LL HAVE
A GINGER BEER, THANKS.
UH, A GINGER BEER.
STICK ONE IN THERE.
AND THEY TELL YOU CRIME
DOESN'T PAY, RIGHT?
RIGHT, YEAH.
TRANSPORTATION,
RIGHT?
OK. THINK--
THINK CARGO.
PASSENGERS.
PEOPLE.
SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?
YEAH.
BUT THINK CLASS.
RIGHT? THE RIGH CLASS OF PEOPLE.
NOW, RIGHT, WHERE
ARE THEY GONNA BE?
ON BUSES?
NAH, NOT REALLY.
PLANES? TOO MUCH
COMPETITION.
THINK CARS.
CARS.
LIMOUSINES.
SHAKE, PAL.
OOH, I JUST LOVED
WHAT YOU DID TO
THAT YANKEE BASTARD.
HAVE YOU EVER
CONSIDERED
GOING FOR
PRIVATE CARS?
WELL, ACTUALLY,
THERE WAS--
YOU JUST ABOLISHED HIM.
THAT WAS BLOODY GREAT.
HELLO, NIGEL.
MR. PYLES...
LOOK, THINK
POTENTIAL.
YOU SEE WHA I'M SAYING?
THE POTENTIAL IS
DEFINITELY THERE
IF YOU'RE WORKING INSIDE
WHAT WE HAVE HERE,
WHICH IS A COOPERATIVE.
SO THIS IS--
WE ARE COOPERATIVE
WITH EACH OTHER;
WE HELP EACH OTHER.
YOU SEE
WHAT I'M SAYING?
SO, LIKE, CARS,
PEOPLE IN CARS.
BLACKMAIL, KIDNAPPING,
EXTORTION--
WE HAVE GO THE CONTACTS, SEE?
YOU SEE
WHAT I'M SAYING?
GET YOURSELF A SUNTAN.
SEE THE WORLD.
SEEN IT.
AYE.
AW, HE'S A NAMBY-
PAMBY OLD BASTARD,
THAT PYLE.
AYE. YOU'RE RIGHT.
NAMBY-PAMBY, AYE.
IT WAS DIFFEREN IN THE OLD DAYS.
I MEAN, SEE ME.
EVEN I HAVEN' GOT A GUN NOW.
GUNS ARE FOR LASSIES.
I MEAN, NOBODY SEEMS TO
PUT THE BOOT IN ANYMORE.
NO. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
THEY JUST DON'T.
I MEAN, ALL THA ENTERPRISE AND PROFI AND PISH LIKE THA GETS IN MY HEAD!
AAH!
[DOG BARKING]
[CHUCKLES]
YOU DON'T WANT TO BOTHER
WITH THAT SHITE.
NO. NO.
DO YOU NEED
YOUR GLASSES?
NO.
I MEAN, YOU DON'T WAN GLASS GOING IN YOUR EYE
WHEN SOME BASTARD
STANDS ON YOUR FACE.
RIGHT.
SEE THESE?
CONTACT LENSES.
OHHH.
CHANGED MY LIFE.
SOFT LENSES.
EXPENSIVE ONES.
SEE, MY OPTICIAN KNOWS
HIS ASS FROM HIS ELBOW.
THAT'S WHAT I LIKE
ABOUT YOU.
NO NAMBY-PAMBY SHITE.
YOU JUST GO OUT THERE--
YOU GET ON YOUR MOTORBIKE
AND YOU SEE WHAT YOU WANT,
AND IF YOU DON'T GET IT,
MUTILATION!
AYE. MUTILATION.
AYE.
AYE.
[LAUGHING]
MUTILATION.
MUTILATION.
[LAUGHING]
[SIREN IN DISTANCE]
Man: WELL, THE PUFFER
SEEMS TO EMIT A MIXTURE
OF POWDERS AND STUFF.
AYE, I KNOW.
SOMEBODY SAID
A HOT BATH MIGHT HELP.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
THAT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION.
OH, THERE'S NO WAY
THAT WE COULD OFFER
GUARANTEES LIKE THAT.
OH, WELL, I MEAN,
IF THEY WERE PERSISTENT.
TAKING THEIR CASH AND
VALUABLES ON A BUS TRIP.
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?
AYE, WELL, MAYBE
THEY ARE JUST AS STUPID
AS THEY LOOK.
OH, I CAN TELL THA TO THE SECRETARY.
NO. THERE'S NO WAY I'M GONNA
MAKE THE COURT DATE.
[CLEARS THROAT]
LOOK, UM, WHY DON' WE JUST GIVE HER
WHATEVER SHE WANTS?
WHAT?!
BUT THAT'S TWICE
MY ANNUAL SALARY.
IT'S HER DIVORCE,
ISN'T IT?
GOOD-BYE.
OH, I'M PAYING YOU
FOR THIS CALL, RIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT.
I'M ON GOVERNMEN BUSINESS.
CLASSIFIED. MM-HMM.
NO, NO, NO. IT'S NO A VACATION ANYMORE,
AND I DON'T KNOW
HOW LONG IT'S GONNA TAKE.
SO...
VISITING RIGHTS?
WE DON'T HAVE ANY CHILDREN.
BEN, I LOVE THAT DOG.
[LAUGHING]
[SIGHS]
SHE DOESN'T EVEN
LIKE HER!
THE DOG!
YEAH, WELL, I'M--
LOOK, I'M GONNA BE BACK
AS QUICKLY AS I CAN.
JUST DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN.
TAKE CARE OF ME.
MM-HMM. YEAH.
YOU CALL ME.
I GUESS YOU FEEL PRETTY
PLEASED ABOUT THE WAY
THIS OPERATION'S
GOING, HUH?
YOU MAKING SOME KIND
OF A COMPLAINT,
MR. BENDER?
WELL, THE WAY I SEE IT,
IF AN OUTFIT LIKE MINE
WAS TO TRY TO HANDLE
TROUBLE LIKE THIS,
WE COULD WRAP IT UP
IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.
AND I THINK MAYBE
MIGHT SEE I THE SAME WAY.
ARE YOU THREATENING ME,
MR. BENDER?
NUMBER 7.
YOU WON'T BELIEVE
THIS ONE.
WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE KID
WITH THE BUS COMPANY?
CUTE LITTLE THING
WITH THE FLOWERS.
Isla: THAT'S TAKING
MY OXYGEN.
HEY, WHAT DID YOU
DO THAT FOR?
IT TOOK ME DAYS
TO FIND THAT CANDLE.
SO?
OH, ISLA!
IT WAS TAKING
MY OXYGEN.
YOU'VE GOT STEAK AND KIDNEY
PIE ALL OVER THE END.
HA!
OW!
DO YOU WEAR
SUSPENDERS?
IT MUST BE VERY
INTERESTING--COURIERING.
OH, YES. WELL,
THE COUNTRY IS LOVELY.
THE TOURISTS CAN GE A BIT TIRESOME SOMETIMES,
BUT IT HAS ITS MOMENTS.
AYE. IT'S A GOOD
STEADY JOB,
WHICH IS MORE THAN
COULD BE SAID FOR SOME.
I BET IT HAS ITS MOMENTS
JUST NOW, THOUGH, EH?
WITH THESE YOUNG WEE
BANDITS IN THE HILLS.
DO YOU EVER COME
ACROSS ANY OF 'EM?
WELL...
THEY'RE GREAT,
AREN'T THEY, DAD?
THEY'RE REALLY CLEVER
AND THEY'RE BRAVE--
AYE. THEY'VE GO INITIATIVE.
AND THEY'VE GOT INITIATIVE
WHEN IT COUNTS, HAVEN'T THEY?
AYE. I'D GIVE A WEEK'S
WAGES TO MEE ONE OF THOSE LADS.
WHAT WORRIES ME IS
WHAT'S GOING
TO HAPPEN TO THEM.
I MEAN, IT CAN' GO ON FOREVER, CAN IT?
ONE WOULD HOPE NOT.
THEY'LL NEVER
CATCH THOSE BOYS.
THEY'RE FAR TOO CLEVER.
THEY'VE GOT INITIATIVE
WHERE IT COUNTS.
DID YOU HEAR WHAT THEY DID
TO A BUSLOAD OF GERMANS
UP IN...?
MR. BRYCE!
THEY'RE ATTACKING
OUR BIGGEST INDUSTRY--
TOURISM.
Mother: EXACTLY.
THERE'S FOREIGNERS
WITH MONEY AND INFLUENCE
ON THOSE TOURS.
AND THEY'RE MAKING
A JOKE OF
THE POLICE FORCE.
THEY'LL GET THE CHOP.
THE ELECTRIC CHAIR?
WHO'S FOR MORE PIE?
OCH!
I CANNAE GET IT LIT.
Will: WHAT ARE YOU
THINKING?
Margot: NOTHING.
NOTHING!
[CLEARS THROAT]
ROB ROY.
"AND SO, AMONGS THESE ROCKS LIVED
"THROUGH SUMMER HEA AND WINTER SNOW.
"THE EAGLE--
HE WAS LORD ABOVE,
AND ROB WAS
LORD BELOW."
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
IT'S A POEM ABOU ROB ROY.
REMEMBER?
ROB ROY?
YOU'RE SMUDGING
THE GLASS.
IS WILL THERE?
IS WILL THERE?
WILL WHO?
WILL BRYCE.
I'M HIS FRIEND.
CAN I COME IN?
WILL BRICE?
IS HE THE LEGENDARY
TOMMY BRYCE THAT USED TO
WORK DOWN
THE BOTTLE FACTORY?
ARE YOU RONNIE?
YOU'RE HIS FRIEND, RONNIE.
LET ME IN.
I CAN'T.
IT'S LOCKED.
WE'RE CLOSED.
THERE'S
NO RONNIE HERE.
I KNOW ABOUT IT.
I KNOW. I'M A FRIEND.
[KEYS JINGLE]
[SIGHS]
[BELL RINGS]
I CAN'T.
RONNIE'S DEAD.
PASSED AWAY.
VERY SAD.
I'VE GOT TO GO NOW
FINISH THE ACCOUNTS.
[BELL RINGS]
Ronnie: WOMEN ARE
NOTHING BUT TROUBLE.
YOU SHOULD STAR TO THINK ABOUT THAT.
I MEAN, SHE'S ALL
YOU THINK ABOUT.
HALF THE BUS STATION
PROBABLY KNOWS ABOUT US
BECAUSE OF YOU
AND YOUR WOMAN.
ALL I WANTED TO
LET YOU KNOW--
I'M LEAVING HERE SOON!
I'VE GOT PROPER
FRIENDS NOW--
FRIENDS THAT CAN GE THE PENSION FUND
INVESTED PROPERLY.
TIMES--
TIMES ARE CHANGING, PAL,
AND YOU'VE GOT TO
CHANGE WITH THEM.
I WAS ONLY--
WE'RE CLOSED!
[CLICK]
[DOG BARKS]
[DOG BARKING]
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
THAT'S MY OWN PERSONAL,
PRIVATE TELEPHONE.
IT JUST KEPT ON RINGING.
I COULDN'T TURN IT OFF.
IT WASN'T MY IDEA
TO PUT IT IN A DRAWER.
[RINGING]
THAT'S MY LAWYER.
I'VE GOT TO TAKE THE CALL.
GET A HAMMER.
Man on TV: THE POLICE ARE
CONCENTRATING THEIR EFFORTS
ON TRYING TO ESTABLISH
A PATTERN IN THE HOLD-UPS
AND ARE STRESSING THE DIFFICULTY
OF PATROLLING THE ROADS
IN THIS REMOTE HIGHLAND REGION.
BUT DETECTIVE INSPECTOR BAIRD,
WHO IS HEADING THE INQUIRY IS
STILL OPTIMISTIC ABOU AN EARLY ARREST.
AND A NEW LEAD TODAY:
A PHOTOGRAPH OF THE SO-CALLED
CLOWN AND WOLFMAN
BEARING A HIGHLAND POSTMARK WAS
DELIVERED TO TELEVISION CENTER.
FORENSIC SCIENTISTS ARE
CURRENTLY STUDYING
THE PICTURE IN THE HOPE
IT MAY GIVE THEM THE CLUE
THEY ARE LOOKING FOR.
SO FAR, BOTH THE SCOTTISH
LIBERATION FRON AND THE CALEDONIAN
NATIONAL GROUP
HAVE CLAIMED
RESPONSIBILITY...
DO YOU MIND
IF I JOIN YOU?
IN PARLIAMEN THIS AFTERNOON,
OPPOSITION BLAMED
THE GOVERNMENT'S
UNEMPLOYMENT RECORD FOR
THE INCREASE IN CRIME.
TODAY THE SEARCH
FOR THE PIRATES WAS JOINED
BY AN UNUSUAL EXPEDITION FROM
THE LAND OF THE RISING SUN.
THE 8-MAN TELEVISION CREW
WANTS TO BE THE FIRS TO FILM THE BANDITS
IN ACTION.
THOUGH THEIR ARRIVAL
HAS CAUSED SOME ANGER
AMONG THE LOCAL MEDIA
AND POLICE.
DON'T YOU THINK YOUR
PRESENCE MIGHT GET IN THE WAY
OF POLICE ATTEMPTS
TO CATCH THE BANDITS?
NO. I...I...WE ARE
NOT HERE FOR REVENGE.
WE ONLY WANT TO...TO
FILM IT FOR OUR PROGRAM.
YES. YES. YES.
Woman on TV: THAT WAS
MICHAEL DOUGLAS REPORTING...
WHEN'S THE NEX HOLD-UP?
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
I WAS JUST WONDERING
WHEN YOU THOUGHT THESE MEN
MIGHT DO THE NEX BUS HOLD-UP,
YOU KNOW, UP NORTH.
OH, AYE, HOLD-UP.
HOLD-UP.
WHAT HOLD-UPS THAT?
THERE IS A LOT OF
FUNNY THINGS GOING ON.
YOU SHOULD READ
THE NEWSPAPERS.
OF COURSE, I HAVEN' REALLY BEEN FOLLOWING IT.
HOLD-UP.
I GUESS THESE THINGS
JUST HAPPEN
OUT OF THE BLUE,
DON'T THEY?
ONE MORE YOU'RE SITTING
THERE, QUITE THE THING,
AND THE NEXT WHO KNOWS?
I MEAN, WHO KNOWS?
[REPORTER CONTINUES]
I DO.
STRONG NORTHWESTERLY
WINDS WILL BRING RAIN
TO MOST...
AND YOU DO.
AND RONNIE WEATHERSPOON
KNOWS.
WE'VE ALL GOT BIRTHDAYS
COMING UP SOON.
[SEAGULL CAWS]
I MADE THEM PROMISE
AN OATH OF SECRECY.
I SAID, I SAID THEY COULD
BECOME HONORARY MEMBERS
IF THEY COULD PROVE
THEY COULD KEEP A SECRET.
WELL, AND SOME
MORE JEWELRY.
THEY WAN IDENTITY CARDS, RONNIE,
SAYING THEY'RE MEMBERS.
LOOK...
KEEP YOUR HEAD, OK?
ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME
THAT YOU ARE SCARED OF
A BUNCH OF WEE LASSIES?
LOOK, LOOK, YOU'RE
IN THE BIG TIME NOW.
KIDS CAN GET DAMAGED
MESSING WITH PEOPLE LIKE US.
YOU KNOW, LIKE,
MUTILATION.
I'LL TALK TO THEM AGAIN.
MAYBE I COULD--
[DIAL TONE]
HELLO?
HELLO?
MR. ILLINGWORTH.
EXCUSE ME.
THERE'S A LADY HERE
WITH A BIT OF A PROBLEM.
AH, YES, HELLO.
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
COULD YOU TELL ME WHICH ONE
OF THESE BUSES WE COULD GO ON
WHERE MAYBE THERE MIGHT BE
ONE OF THOSE STICK-UPS?
[GONG]
[MAN ON TV
SPEAKING JAPANESE]
[MAN CONTINUES IN JAPANESE]
[POLICE SIREN]
[SHOUTING
IN JAPANESE]
[MAN ON TV CONTINUES
IN JAPANESE]
DOMO ARIGATO...
Will: WHERE DID YOU
FIND THIS BIKE?
Ronnie: WHAT?
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU'D TUNED THE ENGINE UP.
ARE YOU JUST GONNA
SIT THERE MOPING?
[YELLING IN JAPANESE]
COME ON.
WILL YOU GET PAST?
HE'S HARDLY
A MOTORWAY.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY
DREADFUL AT DRIVING.
COME ON!
Will: SLOW DOWN!
WILL YOU SLOW DOWN!
RONNIE, SLOW DOWN!
AFFIRMATIVE.
WE READ YOU.
THEY'VE GOT GLEN ORCHY
AND GLEN LEVITT BLOCKED OFF.
HOW ABOUT GLENN MILLER?
HOW ABOUT GLENN MILLER?
THERE IS
NO GLENN MILLER.
I KNOW THERE'S NO A GLENN MILLER.
THERE'S NO SUCH PLACE
AS GLENN MILLER.
GLENN MILLER WAS
THE COMPOSER,
YOU KNOW, CONDUCTOR GUY--
"IN THE MOOD."
[HUMMING MELODY]
Will:
WILL YOU SLOW DOWN?
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
RONNIE, I JUST...
NOW THROW IT!
THROW IT!
IT NEARLY HIT A CAR.
EH?
IT NEARLY HIT A CAR.
OH, JEEZ!
ME! MY GOODNESS!
COME IN, CONTROL.
THEY'RE FIRING ON US.
I'VE BEEN WAITING
FOR THIS ALL MY LIFE.
AAH!
[SIRENS]
[CLUCKING]
[REVS MOTORCYCLE]
GET 'EM!
THE BEACH! THE BEACH!
[HORN HONKS]
[SIRENS]
THAT WAS NEARLY I THAT TIME, YOU KNOW.
YES. BECAUSE YOU USED
THOSE MINI ROCKETS,
DIDN'T YOU?
RONNIE, THOSE STAR BLAZER
THINGS WOULD HAVE BLOWN THEM UP!
Bender: I THOUGHT THE IDEA
OF THE BARRICADE WAS
TO STOP THE BANDITS,
NOT THE POLICE CARS.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
I'M BUSY!
THAT'S A LIE.
OK, BEN, LISTEN.
THIS IS MAN TO MAN.
YOU GOT TO BELIEVE ME.
I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND
OF A PROBLEM.
I SAID I DON'T HAVE
THAT PROBLEM!
[SIGHS]
OK, DID YOU SEE THE DOG?
HER NOSE WAS COLD?
YEAH, YEAH. CALL ME.
I THINK THE OPERATION
NEEDS A KICK IN THE BUTT.
I'LL MAKE A NOTE OF YOUR
COMMENTS, MR. BENDER.
YOU BETTER DO MORE
THAN THAT, MR. BAIRD.
I'VE GOT AN AUTHORIZATION
FROM YOUR MR. SECRETARY.
THE CASE IS MINE.
WHY DON'T YOU GO FISHING?
THAT'S A VERY NASTY RASH
YOU'VE GOT, MR. BENDER.
YOU REALLY SHOULD TRY
AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
RONNIE?
[LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
[BOTTLES CLINKING]
[CHATTERING]
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
YOU'RE NOT AT THE SHOP.
AH, WELL, I'M--
I'M A BIT BUSY JUST NOW.
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
Nigel: COME ON, RONNIE.
YOUR TURN TO EAT ONE
ON YOUR WOMAN.
HIYA, BIG BOY.
COME AND JOIN
THE PARTY.
[CHANTING]
HIS NAME'S NIGEL.
HE'S JUST COME OU OF PRISON
FOR THE FOURTH TIME.
HE'S GOT A REAL GUN,
MARGOT. HE'S DANGEROUS.
HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO
BITE BRUCE'S HEAD OFF.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
NO. HE'S REALLY
LIKE THAT. HE WOULD.
AND THEN RONNIE SAID
HE CAN DO
THIS HOLD-UP
WITH US TOMORROW.
IT'S ALL DIFFERENT.
THE STRATHOUT RUN
WITH HIM!
PLUS, THE WOMEN'S
INSTITUTE OUTING.
LOOK, IT'S A ROTTEN
BUSINESS, WILL,
AND YOU'RE BETTER OFF
OUT OF IT.
I SAID I'D GO.
WE COULD ALL GO
RUN AWAY, MARGOT.
THINK, WILL.
WHAT ABOUT ME?
THERE'S NO ROOM
ON THE BIKE.
MAYBE IF IT HAD
A SIDE CAR.
[SIGHS]
YOU USED TO THINK
IT WAS GREAT.
THAT WAS HALF WHAT WAS
GREAT ABOUT IT.
YOU'RE SO STUPID.
YOU'RE SO STUPID,
YOU CAN'T SEE THINGS
HAVE CHANGED NOW.
WILL, DO YOU NO KNOW THAT I...?
MARGOT, DON'T GO.
YOU'LL GET COLD.
MARGOT.
OK. EASY.
YEAH, WE'VE HAD
OUR EYE ON YOU.
WHERE'S YOUR FRIEND?
Doll: MOMMY!
[CLEARS THROAT]
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU
I'D PICK YOU UP TOMORROW.
I'M NOT GOING.
OK.
YOU'LL HAVE TO BRING ME
THE MASK AND THE PUFFER.
DON'T WORRY.
I'LL MAKE SURE YOU GE YOUR SHARE OF THE MONEY.
IT'S A COMPLETELY DIFFEREN BALLGAME NOW, ANYWAY.
YOU'RE PROBABLY
BETTER OFF OUT OF IT.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO TOMORROW?
WE'RE GONNA PU THE BOOT IN.
I'M GONNA GET MYSELF
SOME STATUS.
IT'S THE WOMEN'S
INSTITUTE, RONNIE.
LOOK, PENNYCOOK.
WE COULD GO INTO
HIDING IN PENNYCOOK.
NOBODY WOULD FIND US.
WE COULD WEAR DISGUISES
TO GO TO THE SHOPS.
MARGOT, SHE SAID TO ME,
"DON'T YOU KNOW I...?"
LOOK...
I'M NOT INTERESTED IN YOU
AND YOUR WOMAN!
YOU JUST HAVEN'T GO A CLUE, HAVE YOU?
WHAT DOES THAT SAY?
BEATTY.
RIGHT.
SO, WHAT'S MY NAME?
RONNIE!
RONNIE WEATHERSPOON.
LOOK, I DON'T KNOW
WHO'S DOWN THERE.
I JUST PICKED THEM.
SEE, THAT'S WHERE
ME AND YOU ARE DIFFERENT, PAL.
I DON'T HAVE PEOPLE
TO TIE ME DOWN.
I'M GOIN' PLACES.
AND I DON'T WAN ANY BAGGAGE WITH ME, RIGHT?
RIGHT.
RIGHT.
JELLY SANDWICHES!
JELLY SANDWICHES!
THOUSANDS OF
JELLY SANDWICHES!
I KEPT YOU ALIVE
FOR MORE THAN A YEAR
WHILE YOU WERE SAVING UP
FOR THAT BIKE.
EVERY DAY I PASTED UP
A SANDWICH,
AND I SMUGGLED I OUT OF MY HOUSE FOR YOU.
AND YOU DON'T HAVE
PEOPLE TO TIE YOU DOWN?
AND WHAT ABOUT THE CLOWN
AND THE WOLFMAN?
SO WHAT ARE YOU NOW?
YOU ARE A CLOWN.
YOU'RE A CLOWN!
A CLOWN IN A STUPID
LEATHER COAT.
AND WHO'S GONNA
CARE FOR YOU
WHEN YOU AND THAT ANIMAL
MEET A COUPLE OF
HARD MEN THAT ARE
BIGGER THAN YOU?
WHO'S GONNA CARE
FOR YOU THEN, EH?
90 QUID THAT COAT COST ME!
LOOK AT THIS.
SEE, EVERY TRIP THAT'S
CIRCLED WAS A HOLD-UP
EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE;
THAT'S SCHEDULED TOMORROW.
I'M GONNA BE HOME
IN 24 HOURS.
CUP OF COFFEE?
STICK YOUR HEAD
IN IT, CHANTY.
YOU WANT ME
TO CALL BAIRD?
NO. LET'S LEAVE THE INSPECTOR
OUT OF THIS ONE, EH?
THIS ONE IS MY BABY.
OK, ANGELFACE.
TOMORROW YOU AND I ARE GONNA
TAKE A BUS RIDE TOGETHER.
Doll: SING TO
THE NEXT SONG.
BAA, BAA, BLACK SHEEP
HAVE YOU ANY WOOL?
Policeman joins:
YESSIR, YESSIR
3 BAGS FULL
1 FOR THE MASTER
AND 1 FOR THE DAME...
WHERE'S MOM?
GONE TO AEROBICS.
RIGHT. YOU'LL HAVE TO
TELL HER I'VE GONE AWAY
TO BECOME A PRIEST,
BUT I'LL SEND HER
A POSTCARD.
RIGHT.
THEY'VE GO MARY HARRISON.
WHO? WHO'S GOT HER?
THE PIGS.
SHE WON'T CRACK.
I KNOW SHE WON'T CRACK.
'CAUSE IF SHE CRACKS,
I'LL TELL 'EM ABOU HUNG BOBBY MARTIN.
RIGHT. I'VE GOT ONE
PHONE CALL TO MAKE.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
EXCUSE ME.
HELLO? NO.
SHE'S NOT HERE.
TOMORROW SHE'S
ON THE STRATHOUT RUN.
OK.
MARGOT'S GOING TO BE
ON THAT BUS.
RONNIE?
SHALL I COME TOMORROW?
AYE.
IT'S ALL FINISHED NOW,
ISN'T IT?
WE'RE STILL GOING.
ONE MORE TIME
TO STRATHOUT.
THE CLOWN AND THE WOLFMAN.
FUNNY BUSINESS.
AYE.
MR. BAIRD.
WHAT?
TELEX FROM
THE SECRETARY OF STATE.
"OPERATION BANDIT."
GET BENDER.
HE'S GONE.
AYE?
EVERYTHING'S
CHANGED.
THEY'RE HERE. THEY'RE
RIGHT HERE IN THE TOWN.
Big Country: ALONE AMONG
THE HILLS AND STONE
THROUGH SUMMER SUN
AND WINTER SNOW
THE EAGLE
HE WAS LORD ABOVE
AND ROB WAS LORD BELOW
[HORN HONKING]
240 YEARS WE LIVED
WITHOUT HOPE
AND WITHOUT PRIDE
SO, WHO WILL KNOW
WHERE THEY COME FROM?
WHO WILL RAISE THE TORCH
FOR THOSE WHO DIED?
I WILL BE WITH THEM
IN THE SUMMER SUN
AND THE WINTER SNOW
THEY WILL COME
AND CLOUDS WILL GO
SHOW THAT WE ARE PROUD AGAIN
THOUGH ALL WE LOS IN AUTUMN DAYS
CANNOT BE BORN AGAIN
STAND HERE BY ME
UNTIL THE WAYS
OF AGE AND YOUTH
ARE ONE AND SAME
I WILL BE WITH THEM
IN THE SUMMER SUN
AND THE WINTER SNOW
THEY WILL COME
AND CLOUDS WILL GO
AND SHOW THEM
WE ARE PROUD AGAIN
AND I WILL BE WITH THEM
IN THE SUMMER SUN
AND THE WINTER SNOW
THEY WILL COME
AND CLOUDS WILL GO
SHOW THEM WE ARE PROUD AGAIN
ALONE AMONG
THE HILLS AND STONE
THROUGH SUMMER SUN
AND WINTER SNOW
THE EAGLE
HE WAS LORD ABOVE
ROB WAS LORD BELOW
MARGOT?
DEAR ME, WHA ARE YOU WEARING?
OK, HOLD IT!
NO, SUNSHINE.
YOU HOLD IT.
NO, JACK,
YOU HOLD IT.
[SCREAMING]
MARGOT!
WASTE HIM, RONNIE.
LOOK AT ME.
I'M BULLETPROOF MAN.
COME ON, YOU!
PUT THE BOOT IN.
Will: RONNIE.
DO IT!
SORRY, NIGEL.
GIVE ME THAT,
SUCKERS!
ACHOO!
EVERYBODY
ON THE BUS STAY PUT!
Passengers: AWW!
[WOMEN CHEERING]
[SHEEP BLEATING]
OK, MOVE.
LET'S GO! GO!
AND NOW THAT WE'VE GOT YOU
AWAY FROM THE EYES
OF THE ADORING PUBLIC,
LET'S GET THE MASKS OFF.
WELL, SCOTTIE,
WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
JESUS CHRIST!
[CHUCKLES]
THERE'S BEEN A WEE
BIT OF A CHANGE.
YOU BETTER READ THAT.
HUH?
LISTEN,
THERE'S A MESSAGE
FROM YOUR LAWYER:
YOU GOT THE DOG! HA HA!
IF THERE'S ANY PROBLEM,
YOUR LAWYER WILL PHONE YOU.
I WANT YOU
TO HAVE THIS.
IT'S NOT GOLD.
IT WAS MEANT TO BE
GOLD FOR HIS WARTS.
[WAVES CRASH ON SHORE]
OUT!
COME ON, OUT!
[SEAGULLS CAWING]
I HAD A TELEX FROM
THE SECRETARY OF STATE
FOR SCOTLAND.
IT'S FROM
THE SCOTTISH SECRETARY.
IT SEEMS TOURIST SPENDING
HAS GONE UP 15%
SINCE THE START OF
THESE ACTIVITIES.
YOU'RE BIGGER THAN
THE LOCH NESS MONSTER.
GROSSLY IRRESPONSIBLE
CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR
OF THE MOST FLAGRANT KIND!
"LOW PROFILE," HE SAYS.
"HANDLE WITH
THE UTMOST DISCRETION.
POLITICAL HOT POTATO."
I CANNAE LET YOU GO.
SO, IT WAS HERE
IN A LAST DESPERATE BID
TO ESCAPE THE TIGHTENING
GRIP OF THE LAW
THAT THE HIGHLAND HEROES
PLUNGED TO THEIR DEATHS
IN THESE STORMY SEAS.
AND ALL THAT REMAINS IS
THE BROKEN WRECKAGE
OF THE JAPANESE MOTORCYCLE
THAT CARRIED THEM THROUGH
SO MANY DARING RAIDS.
I THINK THAT'S TERRIBLE.
NOW STREWN ACROSS
THESE JAGGED ROCKS...
I NEVER THOUGH IT WOULD END LIKE THIS.
...WITHOUT ANY PRETENSE
OF CROOKEDNES.
THERE WERE SCENES
OF WILD EMOTION
AS THE UNFORGETTABLE FIGURES
OF THE CLOWN AND THE WOLFMAN
SPED DOWN THE MAIN STREE OF THAT CITY.
THE EXCITED CROWD COULD
HARDLY HAVE IMAGINED
THE DRAMATIC FATE WHICH
AWAITED THE OUTLAWS.
DURING THEIR BRIEF CAREER
AS HIGHWAYMEN
IN SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS,
THE CLOWN AND THE WOLFMAN
CAPTURED THE IMAGINATION
OF A WORLDWIDE AUDIENCE...
THANK YOU.
IT'S REALLY GOOD,
THIS STUFF, YOU KNOW?
YOU SHOULD TRY SOME.
IT TASTES LIKE...
THERE'S BITS
DROPPING OFF OF THIS.
LOOK, THERE'S BITS
FALLING OFF MY ICE.
THERE COULD BE A GERM
IN THERE OR SOMETHING.
I READ THAT...
DON'T BE SUCH
A BIG LASSIE.
A COUPLE OF WEE GERMS
NEVER DID ANYBODY ANY HARM.
ANYWAY, WE ARE BIGGER
THAN GERMS, YOU AND ME.
PUT YOUR NAME
ON THAT.
IT'S TO YOUR FAMILY.
[DONKEY BRAYS]
"NEW MEXICO--
LAND OF OPPORTUNITY.
WEATHER VERY NICE."
THEY'RE VERY HOSPITABLE
HERE, AREN'T THEY?
VERY GOOD TO TOURISTS.
WHEN CAN I SAY
I WILL BE HOME?
WELL, WE'LL HAVE TO WAI FOR A DECENT INTERVAL.
HAVE TO WAIT FOR OUR
BONDS TO MATURE AT LEAST.
SAY CHRISTMAS.
DO YOU THINK
IT'LL BE OK
TO GO BACK
AT CHRISTMAS?
RONNIE, YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE
SOME RESPECT FOR THE DEAD.
Man on TV:
ALL THAT REMAINS IS THIS...
[SHEEP BLEATING]
A SAD, SODDEN REMINDER
OF MORTALITY.
WE MAY NEVER KNOW
WHO THEY WERE.
BUT ONE THING IS CERTAIN:
NOW NO ONE CAN TAME THEM.
IS THIS THE END
OF THE STORY
OR THE BEGINNING
OF A LEGEND?
MEL HAMMER,
"A.M. NEWS MAGAZINE," SCOTLAND.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?
Big Country: THE DAY
THEY HAD A PARTY
RIGHT OU IN THE STREET
FLAGS AND FLOWERS
AND SINGING
FOR THE HOMECOME
HERO'S TREAT
I SAT IN THE KITCHEN
WITHOUT A FIRE
ON THE RANGE
I KNEW THIS HOUSE
HAD LOST THE CAUSE
TO EVER MAKE ME
WARM AGAIN
COME BACK TO ME
THE DAYS ARE ALL TOO LONG
COME BACK TO ME
YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE GONE
I WAS SO YOUNG
AND FULL OF PRIDE
AND YOU WERE
WILD AND STRONG
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
LIONS GATE ENTERTAINMEN CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
Big Country: ALONE AMONG
THE HILLS AND STONE
THROUGH SUMMER SUN
AND WINTER SNOW
THE EAGLE
HE WAS LORD ABOVE
AND ROB WAS LORD BELOW
240 YEARS WE LIVED
WITHOUT HOPE
AND WITHOUT PRIDE
SO, WHO WILL KNOW
WHERE THEY COME FROM?
WHO WILL RAISE THE TORCH
FOR THOSE WHO DIED?
I WILL BE WITH THEM
IN THE SUMMER SUN
AND THE WINTER SNOW
THEY WILL COME
AND CLOUDS WILL GO
SHOW THAT WE ARE PROUD AGAIN
THOUGH ALL WE LOS IN AUTUMN DAYS
CANNOT BE BORN AGAIN
STAND HERE BY ME
UNTIL THE WAYS
OF AGE AND YOUTH
ARE ONE AND SAME
I WILL BE WITH THEM
IN THE SUMMER SUN
AND THE WINTER SNOW
THEY WILL COME
AND CLOUDS WILL GO
AND SHOW THEM
WE ARE PROUD AGAIN
I WILL BE WITH THEM
IN THE SUMMER SUN
AND THE WINTER SNOW
THEY WILL COME
AND CLOUDS WILL GO
SHOW THEM WE ARE PROUD AGAIN
ALONE AMONG
THE HILLS AND STONE
THROUGH SUMMER SUN
AND WINTER SNOW
THE EAGLE
HE WAS LORD ABOVE
ROB WAS LORD BELOW
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
LIONS GATE ENTERTAINMEN [SHEEP BLEATING
IN DISTANCE]
[MUMBLES]
THIS IS A HOLD-UP.
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
THIS IS A HOLD-UP.
WHAT'S
HE TALKING ABOUT?
OH. RAG WEEK.
RAG WEEK?
STUDENTS, YOU MORON.
NO! NO! YOU DON' UNDERSTAND.
DON'T WASTE YOUR BREATH
ASKING FOR ANY MORE.
YOU'RE THE THIRD
THIS WEEK ALREADY.
NO, REALLY.
WHAT I WANT TO KNOW,
YOUNG MAN, IS ARE WE
ON THE RIGHT ROAD
TO INVERLOCH?
WE'LL DRIVE ON.
THEY LIVE IN A WORLD
OF THEIR OWN, THESE STUDENTS.
DON'T DO THAT! THOSE CHILDREN
WILL DRIVE ME NUTS.
SHH! BE QUIET!
STOP ANNOYING
YOUR DADDY.
NOW, IF WE TAKE
THE THIRD RIGHT...
DON'T TELL ME
ANYMORE...
[BLEATING]
Man: NO. I'M NOT SAYING
IT'S A COMPLETE FAILURE.
THAT'S NOT RIGHT. I'M
NOT BOTHERED ABOUT THAT.
AND I WOULDN'T BE
IF IT WAS.
I'M JUST SAYING
MAYBE IT'S NOT RIGHT,
THAT SORT OF THING.
I MEAN, DON'T YOU THINK
IN SOME WAYS
IT'S A BAD THING TO TAKE
OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY?
IT IS! PEOPLE WORK HARD
FOR THEIR MONEY,
SOME OF THEM.
[BELL DINGS]
I'M IN A HURRY, OK?
STINK BOMB.
WHAT'S IT COST, THAT?
NASTY SUGAR.
BANGERS...
ARE YOU SURE ABOU THE NASTY SUGAR?
AYE, 3 BAGS.
UH, PICKED SCAB.
LUMINOUS SNOT,
AND A PLASTIC TURD.
3.5...
[COINS CLATTER
ON COUNTER]
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
IT COSTS JUST TO SEND
ONE SOLITARY POLICEMAN
OUT ON A CASE?
THERE'S EXPENSES.
THERE'S WEAR AND TEAR.
THERE'S PETROL.
THERE'S OVERTIME.
THAT IS TAX PAYERS'
MONEY, RONNIE.
IT'S A BAD THING.
LOOK...
WHAT DO YOU WAN OUT OF LIFE?
YOU WANT MONEY AND
YOU WANT EXCITEMENT.
RIGHT? WHY?
NO.
BECAUSE WITHOUT MONEY,
WITHOUT MONEY,
YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING!
LOOK, YOU WERE TALKING
ABOUT BAD THINGS, RIGHT?
DON'T YOU THINK
IT'S A BAD THING
THAT YOU'RE WORKING
IN A CORPORATION
AND I'M STUCK HERE
SELLING ALL THIS JUNK?
DON'T YOU THINK IT'S
A BAD THING TO SETTLE
FOR A LITTLE WHEN MAYBE
YOU COULD GET A LO OUT OF LIFE?
YOU SEE, THE POINT IS:
THE POINT IS THA WE ARE SMARTER
THAN THEY ARE.
I KEEP GETTING THESE FUNNY
WEE WARTS ON MY FINGERS.
LOOK, YOU HAVE GO TO TAKE YOUR CHANCE NOW!
EH?
THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE
ANY POINT TO IT ALL.
OH, MARY, I CAN' STAND THE STRAIN.
FIRST OFF,
YOU GET A JOB, SON.
AND NOW YOU TURN
INTO A DEEP THINKER,
A PHILOSOPHER.
WELL, WHAT YOU GONNA
BE NEXT, HUH?
THE NATION WAITS.
HE KNOWS HE'S LUCKY
TO HAVE A JOB.
DON'T YOU, DEAR?
HE'S JUST TIRED AND HE
WANTS TO EAT HIS FOOD.
CAROL PEYTON'S
BIG BROTHER'S GONE
TO NEW MEXICO, AND
HE'S GOING TO EARN
500 A WEEK
IN AMERICA.
AYE, AYE.
THERE'S OPPORTUNITIES
FOR THEM THAT WANT THEM.
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
SON?
IT'S HIS BIORHYTHMS.
HE CANNAE HELP IT.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
I'LL GET IT.
MOM?
HMM?
DOES DOING BAD THINGS
GIVE YOU WARTS?
I THINK THAT'S SOMETHING
YOU'D BETTER DISCUSS
WITH YOUR FATHER
LATER ON.
MOM, CAN I GO TO THE
DISCO ON SATURDAY?
MARY.
MOM!
HANG ON A MINUTE.
I'LL COME OUT THERE
AND TALK TO YOU
ABOUT IT.
MAYBE IF
I STAYED AT...
[MOTHER CONTINUES
INDISTINCT]
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,
YOU HAD TO GO AND SEE
THE DOCTOR FOR YOUR WARTS,
AND HE'D BURN THEM OFF OF YOU.
YOU'D LIE ON THE COUCH...
A GREAT FAT NURSE
WOULD COME ALONG.
AND SHE'D PAINT RED OINTMEN ONTO EACH WART--WHOA!
OH! THE STENCH WAS
SOMETHING TERRIBLE.
AND THEN THE DOCTOR
WOULD COME ALONG
WITH HIS LONG,
POINTED NEEDLE,
AND THE NURSE WOULD
HOLD YOU DOWN
'CAUSE YOU WERE
SCREAMING BY THEN, SEE?
AND HE'D COME AT YOU.
CLOSER...
AND CLOSER...
TILL SUDDENLY--ZIP!
RIGHT INTO THE ROOT.
[SHOUTS]
HE'S A BUGGER, TOO!
HE'S WEARING A HAT.
COME HERE, YOU FATTY!
Father:
NOT EXACTLY FIRED.
SORT OF.
SORT OF FIRED.
[TOILET FLUSHES]
WELL, MORE SORT OF
RESIGNED, ACTUALLY.
Isla: MAYBE SORT OF
RETIRED, YOU KNOW.
I'M WARNING YOU!
[CLOCK TICKING]
Ronnie: HEY!
I'VE GOT IT JUST HERE.
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS IS?
THIS IS THE THING.
IT'S MAGIC!
THEY DON'T STAND
A CHANCE NOW, MAN.
ARRRGH! HA!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
[BELL RINGS]
HAVE YOU BEEN SELLING
ANY MORE OF THAT AWFUL SUGAR
TO MY WEE ANGUS?
ME? OH!
I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE,
RONNIE WEATHERSPOON!
HOW MANY TIMES DO
I HAVE TO TELL YOU?
[TOY SQUEAKING]
I DON'T WANT ANYMORE
TROUBLE FROM YOU
WITH ANY OF MY BAIRNS!
[SQUEAK, SQUEAK]
OHH!
YOU'LL HAVE
MR. PATERSON DOWN HERE
AND I WON'T ANSWER
FOR THE CONSEQUENCES,
YOU STUPID WEE BUGGER!
JUST A WASTE OF GOOD
SPACE, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.
I'M SORRY.
I WON'T DO IT AGAIN.
SEE THAT MR. HARDWICK
GETS TO HEAR ABOUT THIS.
[DOOR SLAMS,
BELL RINGS]
I THINK I KNOW WHERE
WE CAN GET A GUN.
[IMITATING GUNFIRE]
IT'S NICE OUT HERE, YEAH?
ARE YOU SURE YOU WAN TO COME TOMORROW?
MY MOM SAYS THA THE THING THAT I WAN IS GOLD.
IF I BOUGHT A FAKE
GOLD RING OR SOMETHING,
YOU KNOW,
IT WOULD GO AWAY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WELL, ACTUALLY,
I THINK THAT'S RIGHT.
I THINK I HAVE
HEARD THAT.
THAT'S GOOD.
GOOD.
Woman: HIDDEN AMONG
THE GRAMPIAN MOUNTAINS,
STEEPED IN THE HISTORY
AND LEGEND OF A COLORFUL PAST.
PASSENGERS WILL BE ABLE
TO FRESHEN UP IN ABOU 20 MINUTES AT THE BEN
McALPINE VISITORS CENTER.
AND NOW TO YOUR LEF YOU CAN SEE
SOME OF THE MOST SPECTACULAR
SCENERY IN SCOTLAND.
THE MOUNTAIN RISING IN
THE CENTER IS BEN LOCKHART.
AND IN A CAVE ON THE OTHER SIDE,
BONNIE PRINCE CHARLIE
IS SAID TO HAVE TAKEN REFUGE
FROM THE REDCOATS.
AND TO THE RIGHT...
A MOTORCYCLE?
[AIR BRAKES HISS]
THIS IS...
A GUN!
THIS...
THIS IS A GUN!
THIS IS A HOLD-UP.
PLEASE GET ALL
YOUR CASH AND JEWELRY
READY FOR COLLECTION.
THANK YOU.
THANKS. I'M SO SORRY.
THANKS.
THEY WERE MY MOTHER'S.
I'M SO SORRY.
AND WATCHES.
THANKS. THANK YOU.
[WHIMPERS]
THANK YOU.
THANKS VERY MUCH.
[SPEAKS FRENCH]
THANK YOU. THANKS.
THANKS.
HEY, KID.
STAY CALM, OK?
[CHUCKLING]
TAKE IT EASY.
[SNIFFS] NOW, JUS TAKE IT EASY.
NOBODY'S GONNA
GET HURT.
GIVE IT UP, SMARTASS.
[HORN BEEPS]
[SNEEZE]
Will: GOD BLESS YOU.
ACHOO!
ACHOO!
Ronnie:
THAT WASN'T SO BAD.
HURRAY!
WHOO!
[SHOUTS]
STEAKS.
STEAKS THAT THICK.
WITH MASHED
POTATOES.
NO. TRIMMED
POTATOES.
PEAS AND ONION
RINGS.
AND CHOCOLATE
MILKSHAKES.
CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKES.
AND BRANDY EVERY DAY.
WHAT DID YOU PU IN THAT PUFFER?
IT WAS BRILLIANT.
ITCHING POWDER,
SNEEZING POWDER,
CURRY POWDER,
ATHLETE'S
FOOT POWDER,
AND SOME STUFF I GO OUT OF AN OLD FIREWORK.
BUT HOW DID YOU KNOW
IT WOULD WORK?
WELL, I TESTED IT,
DIDN'T I?
I TESTED IT ON ALLY
MATHEWSON'S WEE BROTHER.
HEY, THAT WEE BRANDY YOU
GOT IS REALLY...5 STAR.
COST TWO DAYS'
WAGES, THOUGH.
BUT NEVER MIND.
I CAN GO DOWN TO
THE PACKING SHOP
TOMORROW AND GET A KIT.
NO.
IT'S TERRIBLE NOW.
YOU KNOW, WE CAN' DO ANYTHING.
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
IF WE START SPENDING
ALL THIS MONEY,
THEY'RE GOING TO KNOW,
AREN'T THEY?
EVERYBODY KNOWS
WE DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.
[SIGHS]
MAYBE WE COULD
START A FUND.
YOU KNOW, LIKE A PENSION
FUND FOR FOOTBALLERS
WHEN THEY GET PAST IT.
THEN WE COULD DO
SOMETHING REALLY SPECIAL.
AYE.
SOMETHING REALLY
SPECIAL.
OH, WELL, ACTUALLY,
ACTUALLY,
I'VE BEEN THINKING
OF SOMETHING
ALONG THOSE LINES.
ANYWAY, PAL, IT'S NO THE MONEY THAT MATTERS
ANYMORE, IT'S ME
AND YOU.
WE'RE BIGGER THAN...
WE'RE BIGGER,
BIGGER THAN SOMETHING
REALLY, REALLY BIG.
WE'VE MADE IT.
THIS IS THE BIG TIME.
THE BIG TIME.
I AM NOT HOLDING UP
ANY TRAINS.
GOOD MORNING, SON.
GOOD MORNING.
I TAKE IT WE ARE
TO BELIEVE THA YOUR CEASELESS QUES FOR AN HONEST DAY'S WORK
HAS ONCE MORE
BEEN IN VAIN.
UM...
UH-HUH.
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT, SON.
YOU DID BRING I ON YOUR BLOODY SELF.
HOW IS RONNIE
GETTING ON IN THE SHOP?
ENJOYING IT, IS HE?
AYE, YES.
GOOD WEE RONNIE.
HAH!
POLICE ARE TODAY SEARCHING
FOR TWO YOUNG SCOTS
WHO HELD UP AND ROBBED
A COACHLOAD OF TOURISTS
ON A REMOTE
HIGHLAND ROAD.
[CHUCKLES]
AIN'T IT A BEAUTY.
TAKE IT, MAN.
DISGUISED AS A CLOWN
AND A WOLFMAN,
THEY TOOK AN ESTIMATED
600 IN CASH
AND AN UNKNOWN QUANTITY
OF VALUABLES
FROM THE 40
FRIGHTENED PASSENGERS
BEFORE RIDING OFF AT HIGH
SPEED INTO THE HILLS AGAIN.
THAT'S TERRIBLE.
THAT'S BLOODY CLEVER.
BUT DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S
A REALLY BAD THING TO DO,
TO TAKE OTHER
PEOPLE'S MONEY,
PEOPLE THAT HAVEN' DONE YOU ANY HARM?
WELL, OF COURSE
IT IS, WILL.
DON'T LISTEN
TO YOUR FATHER.
HE'S NOTHING BU AN OLD CROOK ANYWAY.
THE GAS SPORT ISN'T EXACTLY
THE LITTLE SISTERS OF THE POOR.
NO THANKS TO YOU.
LOOK AT THIS.
TWO YOUNG LADS HAD
THE WIT AND STYLE
TO TAKE 600 QUID
OFF A BUNCH OF STUPID TOURISTS.
AND GOD KNOWS, THEY'D
PROBABLY SPEND THAT MUCH
IN AN AFTERNOON
ON PLASTIC BLOODY BAGPIPES.
WELL, THESE LADS CAN HAVE
MY VOTE ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.
600 QUID.
MRS. BARBARA GINSBURG
OF WINVILLE, VERMONT, SAID,
"THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED
TO ME BEFORE."
THIS HAS NEVER
HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE?
AYE.
UH, HELLO THERE.
YOU MAY HAVE
HEARD OF US.
WE WERE IN THE PAPERS
LAST WEEK.
THIS IS OUR GUN.
WE HAVE A GUN!
MY FRIEND THE WOLFMAN,
HE WILL NOW COME
AMONGST YOU
AND COLLECT YOUR CASH,
JEWELRY, AND WATCHES.
OH, THANKS.
THANK YOU.
THANKS.
OH, THANK YOU.
THAT'S LOVELY.
THANKS, THANKS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
GREAT.
OH, HOLD ONTO THAT.
NO, THANKS.
OH, THAT'S LOVELY.
OH, ISN'T THAT LOVELY?
LOOK, RONNIE.
I'VE GOT TO HAVE
10 TO GET BACK
TO THE AIRPORT.
HAS ANYBODY GO A 5.00 NOTE?
Man: HERE YOU ARE, SON.
HERE'S 5 ONES.
THANKS VERY MUCH, SIR.
HERE'S 5 SINGLES.
HERE'S A 5, AND I'LL
TAKE THE 50. THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, YOUNG MAN.
THANKS. THANK YOU.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
I WON'T BE A MOMENT,
SIR.
YOU'VE JUST GOT TO
HOLD UP THE BUS.
Ronnie: COME ON! LET'S GO!
ARE YOU QUITE
FINISHED, PAL?
SORRY.
[GIRL GIGGLES]
[SHEEP BLEATING]
IT'S NOT ON.
REALLY!
IT'S JUST NOT ON.
COME ON, LET'S JUST GE THESE CHANGED AND GO.
HAVE YOU GONE SOF IN THE HEAD?
NO!
[CHATTERING]
[SPEAKING FOREIGN
LANGUAGE]
CAN YOU SPEAK I NO. I THINK IT'S MORE
LIKE THE LON CHANEY ONE.
MR. BENDER'S HERE
TO SEE YOU, SIR.
[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]
THAT'LL BE ALL.
[LAUGHING]
OHH!
ALL RIGHT, CUT THE CACKLE.
QUIET, PLEASE.
NOW, COME ON.
CUT THE RACKET.
I'VE GOT A TELEX FROM
THE SECRETARY OF STATE.
THE SCOTTISH SECRETARY.
HE SAYS THAT QUESTION
ABOUT ARMED GUARDS
IS OUT OF THE QUESTION.
QUIET, PLEASE!
FROM DETECTIVE
SHAFER, SCOTLAND:
"ADVISE UTMOS EXPEDIENCY
"IN APPREHENDING
HIGHWAYMEN.
POTENTIAL POLITICAL
HOT POTATO."
HOW ABOUT THAT, EH?
"SWIFT ACTION AND
LOW PROFILE IMPERATIVE."
LOW PROFILE.
LOW PROFILE.
[SIGHS] WELL...
WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO
IS THAT THESE TWO LADS
HAVE SHANGHAIED
TWO COACH LOADS
OF WHAT IS NOW REGARDED
AS SCOTLAND'S
PRIZE IMPORT.
AND WE ARE INSTRUCTED
TO USE THE UTMOS EXPEDIENCY IN NIPPING I IN THE BUD...
[SNAPPING]
BEFORE THEY DO
ANY FURTHER DAMAGE
TO OUR RELATIONS WITH
OUR FRIENDS FROM ABROAD.
LIAISON WITH
THE BUS COMPANIES
WILL BE TWO OF
THE NUMBERS
THAT YOU HAVE GOT,
RIGHT?
THERE SHOULD NOT BE ANY
LANGUAGE BARRIER THERE.
NOW THIS INVESTIGATION
IS TO BE CONDUCTED
ON AN INTERNATIONAL
FRAMEWORK.
AND WE ARE TO HAVE
THE ASSISTANCE OF
A GENTLEMAN
FROM CENTRAL AMERICA--
FROM THE AMERICAN CENTRAL
INTELLIGENCE BUREAU.
MR. FRITZ BENDER.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
HI.
EXCUSE ME.
CHRIST, IT'S THE MAN
FROM UNCLE.
[CHUCKLES]
AHEM.
THERE'S NOT REALLY MUCH
TO TELL THIS WEEK.
MR. HARDWICK SAYS
I CAN STAY ON TILL
THE END OF THE MONTH,
BUT AFTER THAT I DON'T KNOW.
BRUCE HAS BEEN GETTING
REALLY FAT.
GOD, YOU SHOULD SEE HIM.
HE JUST WOBBLES AROUND EATING
AND SHITTING THE WHOLE TIME.
HARDLY EVER GOES
IN HIS GRILL.
HEY, MAYBE I'M GIVING HIM
TOO MUCH NUTS.
THE WEATHER'S BEEN GOOD
APART FROM TODAY.
DID YOU KNOW THAT?
AHEM.
I'VE BEEN HOLDING UP BUSES.
YOU KNOW, LIKE,
LIKE ROBBING THEM,
TAKING ALL THE TOURISTS' MONEY.
BEEN IN THE PAPERS
AND EVERYTHING.
I'M REALLY QUITE ENJOYING IT.
ANYWAY, I'LL TRY NO TO GET IN ANY TROUBLE.
I'VE GOT TO GET BACK NOW.
Will: SHE HAD
A BONNIE NOSE.
80.
NOT TOO LONG.
AND NOT TOO WIDE.
AND NOT TAMPED DOWN
AT THE BOTTOM.
80...
HE HAD IN HIS WALLET.
A PERFECT NOSE.
HE JUST PULLED IT OU AND DROPPED IT IN THE BAG.
80, YOU KNOW?
I KNOW. IT WAS ME
HE GAVE IT TO.
HOW MUCH WAS IT?
80.
80.
[BELL RINGS]
[CLEARS THROAT]
UH, DO YOU HAVE
ANY FALSE TITS?
OH. AYE.
HOW MUCH ARE THEY?
MEDIUM 4.75.
LARGE 6.50.
MEDIUM.
COULD YOU, UH,
WRAP THEM UP?
THAT'S 4.75, PLEASE.
HERE'S YOUR CHANGE.
THERE'S YOUR RECEIPT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU.
[BELL RINGS]
OHH...
I'VE GOT TO FIND
HER AGAIN.
WHO?
YOU KNOW. HER!
NO!
[BELL RINGS]
Angus: LISTEN,
I'M IN A HURRY.
NO! NO! GET OUT!
GET! AND DON'T COME BACK!
LOOK, HOW DO YOU THINK
YOU COULD FIND HER?
THERE MUST BE MILLIONS
OF GIRLS OUT THERE
IN BUSES JUST LIKE THAT--
MILLIONS!
ANYWAY, YOU CAN'T.
YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T.
THE WHOLE OPERATION IS
COMPLETELY CONFIDENTIAL.
IT'S GOT TO BE,
OR WE'RE BUGGERED.
I DON'T HAVE TO TELL
HER ABOUT IT.
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO SAY
TO HER, THEN?
COME ON, BRUCE,
CAN YOU STRETCH
YOUR LEGS? COME ON.
I'M GONNA GE A PHONE IN HERE.
A TELEPHONE?
AYE, FOR PHONE CALLS
AND THINGS.
COME HERE AND HAVE
A LOOK AT THIS.
I'M NOT GOING TO
TOUCH THIS LOT, THOUGH.
I'M NOT GOING
TO BREAK THE RULES.
LOOK AT ME, BRUCE.
LOOK AT ME.
I'M GOING UP
TO THE BUS STATION.
HAVE YOU ANY IDEA
WHAT THE PENALTY
FOR ARMED ROBBERY IS?
IT'S 12 YEARS!
12 YEARS!
AND, AND ASSAULT...
THREATENING BEHAVIOR.
I'M NOT WEARING
A COSTUME.
WILL, PLEASE...
[SIGHS]
OK.
BUT LOOK, NO GOING
INTO THE BUS STATION,
NO TALKING TO
ANYBODY EXCEPT HER,
NO TELLING HER
WHO YOU ARE,
AND NO MENTION
I EVEN EXIST, RIGHT?
WAIT. HERE.
HERE.
POTIFER'S OINTMENT.
GUARANTEED RELIEF
FROM SHINGLES,
SCABIES, ECSEMA,
PSORIASIS,
WARTS...AND OTHER
CONDITIONS OF THE SKIN.
[BEEP, BEEP]
THEY HAD A GUN!
YOU COULD HARDLY
ASK ME TO TACKLE
TWO MASKED GUNMEN.
BUT YOU'VE BEEN WITH THE COMPANY
NEARLY TWO YEARS NOW.
THE FACT IS WHATEVER
SUPERINTENDENT BAIRD
MAY SAY, WE ARE LEF WITH A BUSLOAD OF
IRATE CLIENTS, AND
YOU'RE HALF THE CAUSE
OF THE WORRY.
MR. ILLINGWORTH--
I'M NOT GOING
TO THREATEN YOU,
BUT I'M SURE YOU'RE AWARE
OF THE POSSIBILITIES
OPEN TO THE COMPANY.
LOOK, WE'RE NO AN UNFEELING COMPANY.
I CAN UNDERSTAND A YOUNG
GIRL IN HIGH SPIRITS
GETTING CARRIED AWAY.
YES, WELL, WE ALL GE CARRIED AWAY SOMETIMES.
I EXPECT FLAWLESS REPORTS
ABOUT YOUR COURIER--
FLAWLESS!
[WOMAN ON P.A.,
INDISTINCT]
EXCUSE ME.
SORRY?
EXCUSE ME.
I'M SORRY BUT I'M
IN A BIT OF A HURRY.
PLEASE!
DO I KNOW YOU?
NO. YOU DON'T.
IMPOSSIBLE.
YOU CAN'T.
I DO KNOW YOU.
WOULD YOU LIKE
A MINT?
THE REST ARE STRONG.
WHAT DID THEY CALL YOU?
MY NAME IS WILL.
YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
YOU'VE NEVER
SEEN ME BEFORE.
ANYWAY, I'VE GO A VERY BAD HAND.
MAYBE I'LL SEE YOU
AGAIN, THEN, WILL.
I HOLD UP BUSES!
Girl: I'M BURSTING.
I'VE STILL GO YOUR FLOWERS.
IT'S THE BEST PRESEN I'VE EVER HAD.
ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME
TO WORK FOR YOU
ON THE BUSES?
NO. YOU WON'T TELL
ANYONE, WILL YOU?
I'M BURSTING.
I COULD GO FOR
A PEE MYSELF.
I REALLY THOUGH SHE WAS GONNA MAKE IT.
I REALLY DID.
[CHUCKLES]
SO CLOSE.
SAY SOME MORE.
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR
FLATTERY?
I'VE NEVER ME A ROBBER BEFORE.
I SOMETIMES WONDER
IF I'M DOING THE RIGHT THING.
IT'S LIKE ROB ROY,
ISN'T IT?
ROB ROY. THE
HIGHLAND ROBIN HOOD.
WE USED TO READ
THE STORIES--WHOA!
ME AND MY DAD.
AND I THOUGHT ROB ROY
MacGREGOR WAS BETTER
THAN BATMAN OR SUPERMAN
OR ANY OF THEM.
OH, BATMAN'S GOOD.
AH, BUT REAL PEOPLE
ARE BEST.
GOING TO HAVE TO
UPDATE MY COMMENTS,
YOU KNOW,
BECAUSE OF YOU.
BUT I DON'T MIND.
IT'S BETTER,
BECAUSE YOU'RE
STILL ALIVE.
WELL, YOU WERE
A MINUTE AGO.
[GIGGLING]
YOU KNOW, WE REALLY
SHOULD TRY TO GE BETTER PICTURES OF
OURSELVES...
TO SEND TO
THE NEWSPAPERS.
RONNIE, I'VE GO TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
I MEAN, THAT LOOKS LIKE
AN ILL PERSON'S
FACE, THAT.
I MEAN, I DON'T WAN ANYBODY TO THINK
I LOOK LIKE W.C. FIELDS
OR SOMETHING.
HEY, I KNOW
WHO TOOK THAT.
REMEMBER THE WEE
WAIF IN THE SHADES?
SHE KEP SHOUTING CHEESE.
I'VE ALWAYS GO MY EYES SHUT IN PHOTOS.
WE CAN GO UP TO
THE MACHINE AT THE STATION,
GET IT DONE PROPERLY.
RONNIE--
THERE'S SOMETHING
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU.
AYE, ME, TOO.
I FORGOT THAT BRUCE
IS LINING HIS NEST.
HE WAS OUT OF HIS CAGE
WHILE I WAS AT THE SHOPS.
IT WAS ALL IN 20 NOTES.
HOW MUCH?
I BET 200 QUID WORTH.
OH, WELL,
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
RONNIE, I'VE REALLY GO TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
Ronnie: RIGHT.
LOOK TOUGH.
Will: YOU KNOW THE GIRL,
MARGOT, THE GIRL ON THE BUS?
YOU KNOW HOW I PROMISED
NOT TO TELL HER,
YOU KNOW,
WHO I WAS AND THAT?
WELL, I DID.
[MOOING]
[POLICE SIREN]
Margot: MY DAD USED TO
TAKE ME UP THERE
WHEN I WAS LITTLE.
WHEN I STARTED AS A GUIDE,
ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS
GO BACK AND LEARN
EVERYTHING ABOUT THE HEROES.
LIKE ROB ROY?
YEAH. LIKE THAT.
THERE'S ONE LEGEND
THAT SAYS THE HEROES
AREN'T DEAD AT ALL--
JUST SLEEPING UNDERNEATH
THE HILLS, AND ONE DAY
THEY'LL COME BACK.
LIKE GHOSTS?
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
DO YOU BELIEVE
IN GHOSTS?
[MOTORCYCLE ROARS PAST]
[CHILDREN SCREAMING]
HA HA!
WHOO!
Will: LOOK, I'M JUS SAYING, IT'S NOT FAIR.
IF YOU WENT A BI SLOWER MAYBE,
THEN I COULD HAND OU THE MONEY PROPERLY
AND EVERYBODY WOULD
GET THE SAME AMOUNT.
LOOK, WILL,
WE'RE NOT SANTA CLAUS.
LOOK, IT WAS A NICE GESTURE.
GOOD FOR THE IMAGE. FINE.
BUT I CAN'T HAVE YOU
FRITTERING AWAY
OUR MONEY LIKE THAT.
HAVE YOU ANY IDEA
HOW MUCH YOU MUST HAVE
THROWN OUT?
YOU SAID IT WAS
A GOOD IDEA.
BRUCE ATE 200.
LOOK, DON'T YOU STAR MAKING INSINUATIONS
ABOUT HIM, OK?
YOU'VE GOT YOUR FRIENDS,
AND I'VE GOT MINE.
ANYWAY, HOW'D YOU GE THE MONEY TO BUY
10 BILLION CUPS OF
TEA FOR YOUR FRIEND, EH?
IT'S NOT THAT MANY.
LOOK, YOU'RE
BREAKING THE RULES.
YOU'RE USING OUR
MONEY TO FRATERNIZE.
AND NOW YOU WAN TO GIVE THE REST AWAY?
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S GOT INTO YOU.
AND WHERE ARE YOU
ALL THE TIME?
I'M NOT FRATERNIZING.
ARE WE GOING UP NORTH
AGAIN SOON?
OH, SO YOU'VE BEEN HAVING
SOME MORE CONSTRUCTIVE
IDEAS ABOUT THE BUSINESS,
THEN, HAVE YOU?
NO, NO, NO.
NOT AT ALL.
OH, YES, I HAVE!
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
WE COULD WEAR DIFFERENT MASKS
TO THROW THEM OFF OUR TRAIL.
AND MAYBE WE COULD PU SOME DIFFERENT STUFF
IN THE PUFFER,
JUST FOR A CHANGE.
PERFUME OR SOMETHING.
AYE, WE COULD HAVE A NICE
PUFFER FOR PEOPLE WE LIKED.
ONLY JOKING.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY
IF I TOLD YOU YOUR SON
WAS FAMOUS?
I MEAN, REALLY FAMOUS,
LIKE A HERO.
YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT,
DID YOU?
YOU SEE,
I GET THINGS DONE.
I DON'T JUST LIE AROUND
ALL DAY.
I FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS PLACE,
A PLACE WHERE I CAN MEET PEOPLE
WHO REALLY KNOW
HOW TO GET THINGS DONE--
PEOPLE LIKE ME.
I'M A DISADVANTAGED CHILD.
I DON'T HAVE THE SECURITY
OF THE FAMILY UNI TO BACK ME UP.
[CHATTERING]
I'VE GOT TO DO THINGS
ON MY OWN.
JUDGES ARE LENIEN ON PEOPLE LIKE ME.
WHAT'S YOUR GAME?
RONNIE WEATHERSPOON,
SIR.
YEAH. YEAH.
IT'S ALL RIGHT, TAP.
THE BOY'S WITH ME.
THE MAN HIMSELF?
HOW ARE YOU?
NICE TO SEE YOU, SON.
THANKS FOR COMING DOWN.
HOW'S BUSINESS?
IT'S NOT BAD.
GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON,
STAND BACK, YOU LOT.
COME ON, STAND BACK,
GIVE THE BOY SOME SPACE.
LADS, I HAVE HERE
THE 17th MOST WANTED MAN
IN SCOTLAND.
[CHEERING]
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I'LL HAVE
A GINGER BEER, THANKS.
UH, A GINGER BEER.
STICK ONE IN THERE.
AND THEY TELL YOU CRIME
DOESN'T PAY, RIGHT?
RIGHT, YEAH.
TRANSPORTATION,
RIGHT?
OK. THINK--
THINK CARGO.
PASSENGERS.
PEOPLE.
SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?
YEAH.
BUT THINK CLASS.
RIGHT? THE RIGH CLASS OF PEOPLE.
NOW, RIGHT, WHERE
ARE THEY GONNA BE?
ON BUSES?
NAH, NOT REALLY.
PLANES? TOO MUCH
COMPETITION.
THINK CARS.
CARS.
LIMOUSINES.
SHAKE, PAL.
OOH, I JUST LOVED
WHAT YOU DID TO
THAT YANKEE BASTARD.
HAVE YOU EVER
CONSIDERED
GOING FOR
PRIVATE CARS?
WELL, ACTUALLY,
THERE WAS--
YOU JUST ABOLISHED HIM.
THAT WAS BLOODY GREAT.
HELLO, NIGEL.
MR. PYLES...
LOOK, THINK
POTENTIAL.
YOU SEE WHA I'M SAYING?
THE POTENTIAL IS
DEFINITELY THERE
IF YOU'RE WORKING INSIDE
WHAT WE HAVE HERE,
WHICH IS A COOPERATIVE.
SO THIS IS--
WE ARE COOPERATIVE
WITH EACH OTHER;
WE HELP EACH OTHER.
YOU SEE
WHAT I'M SAYING?
SO, LIKE, CARS,
PEOPLE IN CARS.
BLACKMAIL, KIDNAPPING,
EXTORTION--
WE HAVE GO THE CONTACTS, SEE?
YOU SEE
WHAT I'M SAYING?
GET YOURSELF A SUNTAN.
SEE THE WORLD.
SEEN IT.
AYE.
AW, HE'S A NAMBY-
PAMBY OLD BASTARD,
THAT PYLE.
AYE. YOU'RE RIGHT.
NAMBY-PAMBY, AYE.
IT WAS DIFFEREN IN THE OLD DAYS.
I MEAN, SEE ME.
EVEN I HAVEN' GOT A GUN NOW.
GUNS ARE FOR LASSIES.
I MEAN, NOBODY SEEMS TO
PUT THE BOOT IN ANYMORE.
NO. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
THEY JUST DON'T.
I MEAN, ALL THA ENTERPRISE AND PROFI AND PISH LIKE THA GETS IN MY HEAD!
AAH!
[DOG BARKING]
[CHUCKLES]
YOU DON'T WANT TO BOTHER
WITH THAT SHITE.
NO. NO.
DO YOU NEED
YOUR GLASSES?
NO.
I MEAN, YOU DON'T WAN GLASS GOING IN YOUR EYE
WHEN SOME BASTARD
STANDS ON YOUR FACE.
RIGHT.
SEE THESE?
CONTACT LENSES.
OHHH.
CHANGED MY LIFE.
SOFT LENSES.
EXPENSIVE ONES.
SEE, MY OPTICIAN KNOWS
HIS ASS FROM HIS ELBOW.
THAT'S WHAT I LIKE
ABOUT YOU.
NO NAMBY-PAMBY SHITE.
YOU JUST GO OUT THERE--
YOU GET ON YOUR MOTORBIKE
AND YOU SEE WHAT YOU WANT,
AND IF YOU DON'T GET IT,
MUTILATION!
AYE. MUTILATION.
AYE.
AYE.
[LAUGHING]
MUTILATION.
MUTILATION.
[LAUGHING]
[SIREN IN DISTANCE]
Man: WELL, THE PUFFER
SEEMS TO EMIT A MIXTURE
OF POWDERS AND STUFF.
AYE, I KNOW.
SOMEBODY SAID
A HOT BATH MIGHT HELP.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
THAT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION.
OH, THERE'S NO WAY
THAT WE COULD OFFER
GUARANTEES LIKE THAT.
OH, WELL, I MEAN,
IF THEY WERE PERSISTENT.
TAKING THEIR CASH AND
VALUABLES ON A BUS TRIP.
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?
AYE, WELL, MAYBE
THEY ARE JUST AS STUPID
AS THEY LOOK.
OH, I CAN TELL THA TO THE SECRETARY.
NO. THERE'S NO WAY I'M GONNA
MAKE THE COURT DATE.
[CLEARS THROAT]
LOOK, UM, WHY DON' WE JUST GIVE HER
WHATEVER SHE WANTS?
WHAT?!
BUT THAT'S TWICE
MY ANNUAL SALARY.
IT'S HER DIVORCE,
ISN'T IT?
GOOD-BYE.
OH, I'M PAYING YOU
FOR THIS CALL, RIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT.
I'M ON GOVERNMEN BUSINESS.
CLASSIFIED. MM-HMM.
NO, NO, NO. IT'S NO A VACATION ANYMORE,
AND I DON'T KNOW
HOW LONG IT'S GONNA TAKE.
SO...
VISITING RIGHTS?
WE DON'T HAVE ANY CHILDREN.
BEN, I LOVE THAT DOG.
[LAUGHING]
[SIGHS]
SHE DOESN'T EVEN
LIKE HER!
THE DOG!
YEAH, WELL, I'M--
LOOK, I'M GONNA BE BACK
AS QUICKLY AS I CAN.
JUST DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN.
TAKE CARE OF ME.
MM-HMM. YEAH.
YOU CALL ME.
I GUESS YOU FEEL PRETTY
PLEASED ABOUT THE WAY
THIS OPERATION'S
GOING, HUH?
YOU MAKING SOME KIND
OF A COMPLAINT,
MR. BENDER?
WELL, THE WAY I SEE IT,
IF AN OUTFIT LIKE MINE
WAS TO TRY TO HANDLE
TROUBLE LIKE THIS,
WE COULD WRAP IT UP
IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.
AND I THINK MAYBE
MIGHT SEE I THE SAME WAY.
ARE YOU THREATENING ME,
MR. BENDER?
NUMBER 7.
YOU WON'T BELIEVE
THIS ONE.
WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE KID
WITH THE BUS COMPANY?
CUTE LITTLE THING
WITH THE FLOWERS.
Isla: THAT'S TAKING
MY OXYGEN.
HEY, WHAT DID YOU
DO THAT FOR?
IT TOOK ME DAYS
TO FIND THAT CANDLE.
SO?
OH, ISLA!
IT WAS TAKING
MY OXYGEN.
YOU'VE GOT STEAK AND KIDNEY
PIE ALL OVER THE END.
HA!
OW!
DO YOU WEAR
SUSPENDERS?
IT MUST BE VERY
INTERESTING--COURIERING.
OH, YES. WELL,
THE COUNTRY IS LOVELY.
THE TOURISTS CAN GE A BIT TIRESOME SOMETIMES,
BUT IT HAS ITS MOMENTS.
AYE. IT'S A GOOD
STEADY JOB,
WHICH IS MORE THAN
COULD BE SAID FOR SOME.
I BET IT HAS ITS MOMENTS
JUST NOW, THOUGH, EH?
WITH THESE YOUNG WEE
BANDITS IN THE HILLS.
DO YOU EVER COME
ACROSS ANY OF 'EM?
WELL...
THEY'RE GREAT,
AREN'T THEY, DAD?
THEY'RE REALLY CLEVER
AND THEY'RE BRAVE--
AYE. THEY'VE GO INITIATIVE.
AND THEY'VE GOT INITIATIVE
WHEN IT COUNTS, HAVEN'T THEY?
AYE. I'D GIVE A WEEK'S
WAGES TO MEE ONE OF THOSE LADS.
WHAT WORRIES ME IS
WHAT'S GOING
TO HAPPEN TO THEM.
I MEAN, IT CAN' GO ON FOREVER, CAN IT?
ONE WOULD HOPE NOT.
THEY'LL NEVER
CATCH THOSE BOYS.
THEY'RE FAR TOO CLEVER.
THEY'VE GOT INITIATIVE
WHERE IT COUNTS.
DID YOU HEAR WHAT THEY DID
TO A BUSLOAD OF GERMANS
UP IN...?
MR. BRYCE!
THEY'RE ATTACKING
OUR BIGGEST INDUSTRY--
TOURISM.
Mother: EXACTLY.
THERE'S FOREIGNERS
WITH MONEY AND INFLUENCE
ON THOSE TOURS.
AND THEY'RE MAKING
A JOKE OF
THE POLICE FORCE.
THEY'LL GET THE CHOP.
THE ELECTRIC CHAIR?
WHO'S FOR MORE PIE?
OCH!
I CANNAE GET IT LIT.
Will: WHAT ARE YOU
THINKING?
Margot: NOTHING.
NOTHING!
[CLEARS THROAT]
ROB ROY.
"AND SO, AMONGS THESE ROCKS LIVED
"THROUGH SUMMER HEA AND WINTER SNOW.
"THE EAGLE--
HE WAS LORD ABOVE,
AND ROB WAS
LORD BELOW."
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
IT'S A POEM ABOU ROB ROY.
REMEMBER?
ROB ROY?
YOU'RE SMUDGING
THE GLASS.
IS WILL THERE?
IS WILL THERE?
WILL WHO?
WILL BRYCE.
I'M HIS FRIEND.
CAN I COME IN?
WILL BRICE?
IS HE THE LEGENDARY
TOMMY BRYCE THAT USED TO
WORK DOWN
THE BOTTLE FACTORY?
ARE YOU RONNIE?
YOU'RE HIS FRIEND, RONNIE.
LET ME IN.
I CAN'T.
IT'S LOCKED.
WE'RE CLOSED.
THERE'S
NO RONNIE HERE.
I KNOW ABOUT IT.
I KNOW. I'M A FRIEND.
[KEYS JINGLE]
[SIGHS]
[BELL RINGS]
I CAN'T.
RONNIE'S DEAD.
PASSED AWAY.
VERY SAD.
I'VE GOT TO GO NOW
FINISH THE ACCOUNTS.
[BELL RINGS]
Ronnie: WOMEN ARE
NOTHING BUT TROUBLE.
YOU SHOULD STAR TO THINK ABOUT THAT.
I MEAN, SHE'S ALL
YOU THINK ABOUT.
HALF THE BUS STATION
PROBABLY KNOWS ABOUT US
BECAUSE OF YOU
AND YOUR WOMAN.
ALL I WANTED TO
LET YOU KNOW--
I'M LEAVING HERE SOON!
I'VE GOT PROPER
FRIENDS NOW--
FRIENDS THAT CAN GE THE PENSION FUND
INVESTED PROPERLY.
TIMES--
TIMES ARE CHANGING, PAL,
AND YOU'VE GOT TO
CHANGE WITH THEM.
I WAS ONLY--
WE'RE CLOSED!
[CLICK]
[DOG BARKS]
[DOG BARKING]
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
THAT'S MY OWN PERSONAL,
PRIVATE TELEPHONE.
IT JUST KEPT ON RINGING.
I COULDN'T TURN IT OFF.
IT WASN'T MY IDEA
TO PUT IT IN A DRAWER.
[RINGING]
THAT'S MY LAWYER.
I'VE GOT TO TAKE THE CALL.
GET A HAMMER.
Man on TV: THE POLICE ARE
CONCENTRATING THEIR EFFORTS
ON TRYING TO ESTABLISH
A PATTERN IN THE HOLD-UPS
AND ARE STRESSING THE DIFFICULTY
OF PATROLLING THE ROADS
IN THIS REMOTE HIGHLAND REGION.
BUT DETECTIVE INSPECTOR BAIRD,
WHO IS HEADING THE INQUIRY IS
STILL OPTIMISTIC ABOU AN EARLY ARREST.
AND A NEW LEAD TODAY:
A PHOTOGRAPH OF THE SO-CALLED
CLOWN AND WOLFMAN
BEARING A HIGHLAND POSTMARK WAS
DELIVERED TO TELEVISION CENTER.
FORENSIC SCIENTISTS ARE
CURRENTLY STUDYING
THE PICTURE IN THE HOPE
IT MAY GIVE THEM THE CLUE
THEY ARE LOOKING FOR.
SO FAR, BOTH THE SCOTTISH
LIBERATION FRON AND THE CALEDONIAN
NATIONAL GROUP
HAVE CLAIMED
RESPONSIBILITY...
DO YOU MIND
IF I JOIN YOU?
IN PARLIAMEN THIS AFTERNOON,
OPPOSITION BLAMED
THE GOVERNMENT'S
UNEMPLOYMENT RECORD FOR
THE INCREASE IN CRIME.
TODAY THE SEARCH
FOR THE PIRATES WAS JOINED
BY AN UNUSUAL EXPEDITION FROM
THE LAND OF THE RISING SUN.
THE 8-MAN TELEVISION CREW
WANTS TO BE THE FIRS TO FILM THE BANDITS
IN ACTION.
THOUGH THEIR ARRIVAL
HAS CAUSED SOME ANGER
AMONG THE LOCAL MEDIA
AND POLICE.
DON'T YOU THINK YOUR
PRESENCE MIGHT GET IN THE WAY
OF POLICE ATTEMPTS
TO CATCH THE BANDITS?
NO. I...I...WE ARE
NOT HERE FOR REVENGE.
WE ONLY WANT TO...TO
FILM IT FOR OUR PROGRAM.
YES. YES. YES.
Woman on TV: THAT WAS
MICHAEL DOUGLAS REPORTING...
WHEN'S THE NEX HOLD-UP?
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
I WAS JUST WONDERING
WHEN YOU THOUGHT THESE MEN
MIGHT DO THE NEX BUS HOLD-UP,
YOU KNOW, UP NORTH.
OH, AYE, HOLD-UP.
HOLD-UP.
WHAT HOLD-UPS THAT?
THERE IS A LOT OF
FUNNY THINGS GOING ON.
YOU SHOULD READ
THE NEWSPAPERS.
OF COURSE, I HAVEN' REALLY BEEN FOLLOWING IT.
HOLD-UP.
I GUESS THESE THINGS
JUST HAPPEN
OUT OF THE BLUE,
DON'T THEY?
ONE MORE YOU'RE SITTING
THERE, QUITE THE THING,
AND THE NEXT WHO KNOWS?
I MEAN, WHO KNOWS?
[REPORTER CONTINUES]
I DO.
STRONG NORTHWESTERLY
WINDS WILL BRING RAIN
TO MOST...
AND YOU DO.
AND RONNIE WEATHERSPOON
KNOWS.
WE'VE ALL GOT BIRTHDAYS
COMING UP SOON.
[SEAGULL CAWS]
I MADE THEM PROMISE
AN OATH OF SECRECY.
I SAID, I SAID THEY COULD
BECOME HONORARY MEMBERS
IF THEY COULD PROVE
THEY COULD KEEP A SECRET.
WELL, AND SOME
MORE JEWELRY.
THEY WAN IDENTITY CARDS, RONNIE,
SAYING THEY'RE MEMBERS.
LOOK...
KEEP YOUR HEAD, OK?
ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME
THAT YOU ARE SCARED OF
A BUNCH OF WEE LASSIES?
LOOK, LOOK, YOU'RE
IN THE BIG TIME NOW.
KIDS CAN GET DAMAGED
MESSING WITH PEOPLE LIKE US.
YOU KNOW, LIKE,
MUTILATION.
I'LL TALK TO THEM AGAIN.
MAYBE I COULD--
[DIAL TONE]
HELLO?
HELLO?
MR. ILLINGWORTH.
EXCUSE ME.
THERE'S A LADY HERE
WITH A BIT OF A PROBLEM.
AH, YES, HELLO.
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
COULD YOU TELL ME WHICH ONE
OF THESE BUSES WE COULD GO ON
WHERE MAYBE THERE MIGHT BE
ONE OF THOSE STICK-UPS?
[GONG]
[MAN ON TV
SPEAKING JAPANESE]
[MAN CONTINUES IN JAPANESE]
[POLICE SIREN]
[SHOUTING
IN JAPANESE]
[MAN ON TV CONTINUES
IN JAPANESE]
DOMO ARIGATO...
Will: WHERE DID YOU
FIND THIS BIKE?
Ronnie: WHAT?
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU'D TUNED THE ENGINE UP.
ARE YOU JUST GONNA
SIT THERE MOPING?
[YELLING IN JAPANESE]
COME ON.
WILL YOU GET PAST?
HE'S HARDLY
A MOTORWAY.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY
DREADFUL AT DRIVING.
COME ON!
Will: SLOW DOWN!
WILL YOU SLOW DOWN!
RONNIE, SLOW DOWN!
AFFIRMATIVE.
WE READ YOU.
THEY'VE GOT GLEN ORCHY
AND GLEN LEVITT BLOCKED OFF.
HOW ABOUT GLENN MILLER?
HOW ABOUT GLENN MILLER?
THERE IS
NO GLENN MILLER.
I KNOW THERE'S NO A GLENN MILLER.
THERE'S NO SUCH PLACE
AS GLENN MILLER.
GLENN MILLER WAS
THE COMPOSER,
YOU KNOW, CONDUCTOR GUY--
"IN THE MOOD."
[HUMMING MELODY]
Will:
WILL YOU SLOW DOWN?
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
RONNIE, I JUST...
NOW THROW IT!
THROW IT!
IT NEARLY HIT A CAR.
EH?
IT NEARLY HIT A CAR.
OH, JEEZ!
ME! MY GOODNESS!
COME IN, CONTROL.
THEY'RE FIRING ON US.
I'VE BEEN WAITING
FOR THIS ALL MY LIFE.
AAH!
[SIRENS]
[CLUCKING]
[REVS MOTORCYCLE]
GET 'EM!
THE BEACH! THE BEACH!
[HORN HONKS]
[SIRENS]
THAT WAS NEARLY I THAT TIME, YOU KNOW.
YES. BECAUSE YOU USED
THOSE MINI ROCKETS,
DIDN'T YOU?
RONNIE, THOSE STAR BLAZER
THINGS WOULD HAVE BLOWN THEM UP!
Bender: I THOUGHT THE IDEA
OF THE BARRICADE WAS
TO STOP THE BANDITS,
NOT THE POLICE CARS.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
I'M BUSY!
THAT'S A LIE.
OK, BEN, LISTEN.
THIS IS MAN TO MAN.
YOU GOT TO BELIEVE ME.
I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND
OF A PROBLEM.
I SAID I DON'T HAVE
THAT PROBLEM!
[SIGHS]
OK, DID YOU SEE THE DOG?
HER NOSE WAS COLD?
YEAH, YEAH. CALL ME.
I THINK THE OPERATION
NEEDS A KICK IN THE BUTT.
I'LL MAKE A NOTE OF YOUR
COMMENTS, MR. BENDER.
YOU BETTER DO MORE
THAN THAT, MR. BAIRD.
I'VE GOT AN AUTHORIZATION
FROM YOUR MR. SECRETARY.
THE CASE IS MINE.
WHY DON'T YOU GO FISHING?
THAT'S A VERY NASTY RASH
YOU'VE GOT, MR. BENDER.
YOU REALLY SHOULD TRY
AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
RONNIE?
[LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
[BOTTLES CLINKING]
[CHATTERING]
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
YOU'RE NOT AT THE SHOP.
AH, WELL, I'M--
I'M A BIT BUSY JUST NOW.
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
Nigel: COME ON, RONNIE.
YOUR TURN TO EAT ONE
ON YOUR WOMAN.
HIYA, BIG BOY.
COME AND JOIN
THE PARTY.
[CHANTING]
HIS NAME'S NIGEL.
HE'S JUST COME OU OF PRISON
FOR THE FOURTH TIME.
HE'S GOT A REAL GUN,
MARGOT. HE'S DANGEROUS.
HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO
BITE BRUCE'S HEAD OFF.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
NO. HE'S REALLY
LIKE THAT. HE WOULD.
AND THEN RONNIE SAID
HE CAN DO
THIS HOLD-UP
WITH US TOMORROW.
IT'S ALL DIFFERENT.
THE STRATHOUT RUN
WITH HIM!
PLUS, THE WOMEN'S
INSTITUTE OUTING.
LOOK, IT'S A ROTTEN
BUSINESS, WILL,
AND YOU'RE BETTER OFF
OUT OF IT.
I SAID I'D GO.
WE COULD ALL GO
RUN AWAY, MARGOT.
THINK, WILL.
WHAT ABOUT ME?
THERE'S NO ROOM
ON THE BIKE.
MAYBE IF IT HAD
A SIDE CAR.
[SIGHS]
YOU USED TO THINK
IT WAS GREAT.
THAT WAS HALF WHAT WAS
GREAT ABOUT IT.
YOU'RE SO STUPID.
YOU'RE SO STUPID,
YOU CAN'T SEE THINGS
HAVE CHANGED NOW.
WILL, DO YOU NO KNOW THAT I...?
MARGOT, DON'T GO.
YOU'LL GET COLD.
MARGOT.
OK. EASY.
YEAH, WE'VE HAD
OUR EYE ON YOU.
WHERE'S YOUR FRIEND?
Doll: MOMMY!
[CLEARS THROAT]
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU
I'D PICK YOU UP TOMORROW.
I'M NOT GOING.
OK.
YOU'LL HAVE TO BRING ME
THE MASK AND THE PUFFER.
DON'T WORRY.
I'LL MAKE SURE YOU GE YOUR SHARE OF THE MONEY.
IT'S A COMPLETELY DIFFEREN BALLGAME NOW, ANYWAY.
YOU'RE PROBABLY
BETTER OFF OUT OF IT.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO TOMORROW?
WE'RE GONNA PU THE BOOT IN.
I'M GONNA GET MYSELF
SOME STATUS.
IT'S THE WOMEN'S
INSTITUTE, RONNIE.
LOOK, PENNYCOOK.
WE COULD GO INTO
HIDING IN PENNYCOOK.
NOBODY WOULD FIND US.
WE COULD WEAR DISGUISES
TO GO TO THE SHOPS.
MARGOT, SHE SAID TO ME,
"DON'T YOU KNOW I...?"
LOOK...
I'M NOT INTERESTED IN YOU
AND YOUR WOMAN!
YOU JUST HAVEN'T GO A CLUE, HAVE YOU?
WHAT DOES THAT SAY?
BEATTY.
RIGHT.
SO, WHAT'S MY NAME?
RONNIE!
RONNIE WEATHERSPOON.
LOOK, I DON'T KNOW
WHO'S DOWN THERE.
I JUST PICKED THEM.
SEE, THAT'S WHERE
ME AND YOU ARE DIFFERENT, PAL.
I DON'T HAVE PEOPLE
TO TIE ME DOWN.
I'M GOIN' PLACES.
AND I DON'T WAN ANY BAGGAGE WITH ME, RIGHT?
RIGHT.
RIGHT.
JELLY SANDWICHES!
JELLY SANDWICHES!
THOUSANDS OF
JELLY SANDWICHES!
I KEPT YOU ALIVE
FOR MORE THAN A YEAR
WHILE YOU WERE SAVING UP
FOR THAT BIKE.
EVERY DAY I PASTED UP
A SANDWICH,
AND I SMUGGLED I OUT OF MY HOUSE FOR YOU.
AND YOU DON'T HAVE
PEOPLE TO TIE YOU DOWN?
AND WHAT ABOUT THE CLOWN
AND THE WOLFMAN?
SO WHAT ARE YOU NOW?
YOU ARE A CLOWN.
YOU'RE A CLOWN!
A CLOWN IN A STUPID
LEATHER COAT.
AND WHO'S GONNA
CARE FOR YOU
WHEN YOU AND THAT ANIMAL
MEET A COUPLE OF
HARD MEN THAT ARE
BIGGER THAN YOU?
WHO'S GONNA CARE
FOR YOU THEN, EH?
90 QUID THAT COAT COST ME!
LOOK AT THIS.
SEE, EVERY TRIP THAT'S
CIRCLED WAS A HOLD-UP
EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE;
THAT'S SCHEDULED TOMORROW.
I'M GONNA BE HOME
IN 24 HOURS.
CUP OF COFFEE?
STICK YOUR HEAD
IN IT, CHANTY.
YOU WANT ME
TO CALL BAIRD?
NO. LET'S LEAVE THE INSPECTOR
OUT OF THIS ONE, EH?
THIS ONE IS MY BABY.
OK, ANGELFACE.
TOMORROW YOU AND I ARE GONNA
TAKE A BUS RIDE TOGETHER.
Doll: SING TO
THE NEXT SONG.
BAA, BAA, BLACK SHEEP
HAVE YOU ANY WOOL?
Policeman joins:
YESSIR, YESSIR
3 BAGS FULL
1 FOR THE MASTER
AND 1 FOR THE DAME...
WHERE'S MOM?
GONE TO AEROBICS.
RIGHT. YOU'LL HAVE TO
TELL HER I'VE GONE AWAY
TO BECOME A PRIEST,
BUT I'LL SEND HER
A POSTCARD.
RIGHT.
THEY'VE GO MARY HARRISON.
WHO? WHO'S GOT HER?
THE PIGS.
SHE WON'T CRACK.
I KNOW SHE WON'T CRACK.
'CAUSE IF SHE CRACKS,
I'LL TELL 'EM ABOU HUNG BOBBY MARTIN.
RIGHT. I'VE GOT ONE
PHONE CALL TO MAKE.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
EXCUSE ME.
HELLO? NO.
SHE'S NOT HERE.
TOMORROW SHE'S
ON THE STRATHOUT RUN.
OK.
MARGOT'S GOING TO BE
ON THAT BUS.
RONNIE?
SHALL I COME TOMORROW?
AYE.
IT'S ALL FINISHED NOW,
ISN'T IT?
WE'RE STILL GOING.
ONE MORE TIME
TO STRATHOUT.
THE CLOWN AND THE WOLFMAN.
FUNNY BUSINESS.
AYE.
MR. BAIRD.
WHAT?
TELEX FROM
THE SECRETARY OF STATE.
"OPERATION BANDIT."
GET BENDER.
HE'S GONE.
AYE?
EVERYTHING'S
CHANGED.
THEY'RE HERE. THEY'RE
RIGHT HERE IN THE TOWN.
Big Country: ALONE AMONG
THE HILLS AND STONE
THROUGH SUMMER SUN
AND WINTER SNOW
THE EAGLE
HE WAS LORD ABOVE
AND ROB WAS LORD BELOW
[HORN HONKING]
240 YEARS WE LIVED
WITHOUT HOPE
AND WITHOUT PRIDE
SO, WHO WILL KNOW
WHERE THEY COME FROM?
WHO WILL RAISE THE TORCH
FOR THOSE WHO DIED?
I WILL BE WITH THEM
IN THE SUMMER SUN
AND THE WINTER SNOW
THEY WILL COME
AND CLOUDS WILL GO
SHOW THAT WE ARE PROUD AGAIN
THOUGH ALL WE LOS IN AUTUMN DAYS
CANNOT BE BORN AGAIN
STAND HERE BY ME
UNTIL THE WAYS
OF AGE AND YOUTH
ARE ONE AND SAME
I WILL BE WITH THEM
IN THE SUMMER SUN
AND THE WINTER SNOW
THEY WILL COME
AND CLOUDS WILL GO
AND SHOW THEM
WE ARE PROUD AGAIN
AND I WILL BE WITH THEM
IN THE SUMMER SUN
AND THE WINTER SNOW
THEY WILL COME
AND CLOUDS WILL GO
SHOW THEM WE ARE PROUD AGAIN
ALONE AMONG
THE HILLS AND STONE
THROUGH SUMMER SUN
AND WINTER SNOW
THE EAGLE
HE WAS LORD ABOVE
ROB WAS LORD BELOW
MARGOT?
DEAR ME, WHA ARE YOU WEARING?
OK, HOLD IT!
NO, SUNSHINE.
YOU HOLD IT.
NO, JACK,
YOU HOLD IT.
[SCREAMING]
MARGOT!
WASTE HIM, RONNIE.
LOOK AT ME.
I'M BULLETPROOF MAN.
COME ON, YOU!
PUT THE BOOT IN.
Will: RONNIE.
DO IT!
SORRY, NIGEL.
GIVE ME THAT,
SUCKERS!
ACHOO!
EVERYBODY
ON THE BUS STAY PUT!
Passengers: AWW!
[WOMEN CHEERING]
[SHEEP BLEATING]
OK, MOVE.
LET'S GO! GO!
AND NOW THAT WE'VE GOT YOU
AWAY FROM THE EYES
OF THE ADORING PUBLIC,
LET'S GET THE MASKS OFF.
WELL, SCOTTIE,
WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
JESUS CHRIST!
[CHUCKLES]
THERE'S BEEN A WEE
BIT OF A CHANGE.
YOU BETTER READ THAT.
HUH?
LISTEN,
THERE'S A MESSAGE
FROM YOUR LAWYER:
YOU GOT THE DOG! HA HA!
IF THERE'S ANY PROBLEM,
YOUR LAWYER WILL PHONE YOU.
I WANT YOU
TO HAVE THIS.
IT'S NOT GOLD.
IT WAS MEANT TO BE
GOLD FOR HIS WARTS.
[WAVES CRASH ON SHORE]
OUT!
COME ON, OUT!
[SEAGULLS CAWING]
I HAD A TELEX FROM
THE SECRETARY OF STATE
FOR SCOTLAND.
IT'S FROM
THE SCOTTISH SECRETARY.
IT SEEMS TOURIST SPENDING
HAS GONE UP 15%
SINCE THE START OF
THESE ACTIVITIES.
YOU'RE BIGGER THAN
THE LOCH NESS MONSTER.
GROSSLY IRRESPONSIBLE
CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR
OF THE MOST FLAGRANT KIND!
"LOW PROFILE," HE SAYS.
"HANDLE WITH
THE UTMOST DISCRETION.
POLITICAL HOT POTATO."
I CANNAE LET YOU GO.
SO, IT WAS HERE
IN A LAST DESPERATE BID
TO ESCAPE THE TIGHTENING
GRIP OF THE LAW
THAT THE HIGHLAND HEROES
PLUNGED TO THEIR DEATHS
IN THESE STORMY SEAS.
AND ALL THAT REMAINS IS
THE BROKEN WRECKAGE
OF THE JAPANESE MOTORCYCLE
THAT CARRIED THEM THROUGH
SO MANY DARING RAIDS.
I THINK THAT'S TERRIBLE.
NOW STREWN ACROSS
THESE JAGGED ROCKS...
I NEVER THOUGH IT WOULD END LIKE THIS.
...WITHOUT ANY PRETENSE
OF CROOKEDNES.
THERE WERE SCENES
OF WILD EMOTION
AS THE UNFORGETTABLE FIGURES
OF THE CLOWN AND THE WOLFMAN
SPED DOWN THE MAIN STREE OF THAT CITY.
THE EXCITED CROWD COULD
HARDLY HAVE IMAGINED
THE DRAMATIC FATE WHICH
AWAITED THE OUTLAWS.
DURING THEIR BRIEF CAREER
AS HIGHWAYMEN
IN SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS,
THE CLOWN AND THE WOLFMAN
CAPTURED THE IMAGINATION
OF A WORLDWIDE AUDIENCE...
THANK YOU.
IT'S REALLY GOOD,
THIS STUFF, YOU KNOW?
YOU SHOULD TRY SOME.
IT TASTES LIKE...
THERE'S BITS
DROPPING OFF OF THIS.
LOOK, THERE'S BITS
FALLING OFF MY ICE.
THERE COULD BE A GERM
IN THERE OR SOMETHING.
I READ THAT...
DON'T BE SUCH
A BIG LASSIE.
A COUPLE OF WEE GERMS
NEVER DID ANYBODY ANY HARM.
ANYWAY, WE ARE BIGGER
THAN GERMS, YOU AND ME.
PUT YOUR NAME
ON THAT.
IT'S TO YOUR FAMILY.
[DONKEY BRAYS]
"NEW MEXICO--
LAND OF OPPORTUNITY.
WEATHER VERY NICE."
THEY'RE VERY HOSPITABLE
HERE, AREN'T THEY?
VERY GOOD TO TOURISTS.
WHEN CAN I SAY
I WILL BE HOME?
WELL, WE'LL HAVE TO WAI FOR A DECENT INTERVAL.
HAVE TO WAIT FOR OUR
BONDS TO MATURE AT LEAST.
SAY CHRISTMAS.
DO YOU THINK
IT'LL BE OK
TO GO BACK
AT CHRISTMAS?
RONNIE, YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE
SOME RESPECT FOR THE DEAD.
Man on TV:
ALL THAT REMAINS IS THIS...
[SHEEP BLEATING]
A SAD, SODDEN REMINDER
OF MORTALITY.
WE MAY NEVER KNOW
WHO THEY WERE.
BUT ONE THING IS CERTAIN:
NOW NO ONE CAN TAME THEM.
IS THIS THE END
OF THE STORY
OR THE BEGINNING
OF A LEGEND?
MEL HAMMER,
"A.M. NEWS MAGAZINE," SCOTLAND.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?
Big Country: THE DAY
THEY HAD A PARTY
RIGHT OU IN THE STREET
FLAGS AND FLOWERS
AND SINGING
FOR THE HOMECOME
HERO'S TREAT
I SAT IN THE KITCHEN
WITHOUT A FIRE
ON THE RANGE
I KNEW THIS HOUSE
HAD LOST THE CAUSE
TO EVER MAKE ME
WARM AGAIN
COME BACK TO ME
THE DAYS ARE ALL TOO LONG
COME BACK TO ME
YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE GONE
I WAS SO YOUNG
AND FULL OF PRIDE
AND YOU WERE
WILD AND STRONG
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
LIONS GATE ENTERTAINMEN CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
Big Country: ALONE AMONG
THE HILLS AND STONE
THROUGH SUMMER SUN
AND WINTER SNOW
THE EAGLE
HE WAS LORD ABOVE
AND ROB WAS LORD BELOW
240 YEARS WE LIVED
WITHOUT HOPE
AND WITHOUT PRIDE
SO, WHO WILL KNOW
WHERE THEY COME FROM?
WHO WILL RAISE THE TORCH
FOR THOSE WHO DIED?
I WILL BE WITH THEM
IN THE SUMMER SUN
AND THE WINTER SNOW
THEY WILL COME
AND CLOUDS WILL GO
SHOW THAT WE ARE PROUD AGAIN
THOUGH ALL WE LOS IN AUTUMN DAYS
CANNOT BE BORN AGAIN
STAND HERE BY ME
UNTIL THE WAYS
OF AGE AND YOUTH
ARE ONE AND SAME
I WILL BE WITH THEM
IN THE SUMMER SUN
AND THE WINTER SNOW
THEY WILL COME
AND CLOUDS WILL GO
AND SHOW THEM
WE ARE PROUD AGAIN
I WILL BE WITH THEM
IN THE SUMMER SUN
AND THE WINTER SNOW
THEY WILL COME
AND CLOUDS WILL GO
SHOW THEM WE ARE PROUD AGAIN
ALONE AMONG
THE HILLS AND STONE
THROUGH SUMMER SUN
AND WINTER SNOW
THE EAGLE
HE WAS LORD ABOVE
ROB WAS LORD BELOW