Secret Ceremony (1968) Movie Script

I anoint you with this saving oil
in Christ Jesus Our Lord,
that you may have eternal life.
Do you believe in God, the Father
Almighty, creator of heaven and earth?
I do believe.
Do you believe in Jesus Christ,
His only Son, Our Lord,
who was born and suffered for us?
I do believe.
Do you believe in the Holy Ghost,
the holy catholic Church,
the communion of Saints,
the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection
of the body and life everlasting?
I do believe.
Are you willing to be baptised?
I am.
Joseph, I baptise you
in the name of the Father,
and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost.
May Almighty God,
the Father of Our Lord Jesus Christ,
who has given you new life
through water and the Holy Ghost,
and forgiven you all your sins,
Himself anoint you with saving chrism
in the same Jesus Christ Our Lord,
- that you may have eternal life.
- Amen.
- Peace be with you.
- And with you.
Take this white garment,
and see that you carry it without stain
before the judgment seat
of Our Lord Jesus Christ,
that you may have eternal life.
Take this burning light
and keep true to your baptism
throughout a blameless life.
Keep the commandments of God,
that when the Lord shall come
like a bridegroom to His marriage feast...
.. you, in company with all the Saints,
may meet Him in the heavenly courts
and there live forever.
Go in peace, Joseph,
and the Lord be with you.
You... you... Wait here.
Mummy! Mummy!
I'm not who you think I am, kid.
Now, there's a good girl. Let go.
Will you let me go?!
What the hell do you want from me?
Can't you say something?
The cat got your tongue?
Would you like some breakfast?
Oh, that was delicious!
Thank you. I've never had a more...
.. scrumptious breakfast.
You didn't prepare that all by yourself,
did you?
Nobody helped you?
Don't you remember?
- Don't I remember what?
- You let Nanny and the cook go.
- Oh, I did?
- Fired them ruthlessly.
Are you here all alone?
There's nobody else downstairs?
Is anybody coming later on?
Where's Daddy?
You know damn well where he is!
Well, I wouldn't have asked
if I'd known, would I?
The last postcard was from Philadelphia.
- It was?
- You tore it up yourself.
I haven't the faintest recollection.
You said never to mention his name again
in this house.
Well, I can change my mind, can't I?
It's my house.
After his scandalous behaviour
in the kitchen?
- You mind your manners.
- It wasn't me who threw the inkwell.
- Don't be fresh with me.
- It wasn't me who ordered him out.
- Cut that out!
- "I don't want to hear his name again. "
We all have our days.
I may have lost my temper.
- Albert, Albert, Albert...
- I don't want to hear that name again!
Are you still jealous?
Young lady, you go to your room at once.
He touched me.
Oh, excuse me. Won't you?
Oh, you poor little doll.
I don't know what came over me.
It was like having my ears blown out.
Would you like me to move in with you
for a while, to take care of you?
What do you mean?
You've always taken care of me.
You've got fever.
Every time you went out,
shopping or to the doctor's,
you said, "I'll be back. I'll be back,"
and you always came back,
except the last time when the pain was bad
and the wind knocked down the cherry tree.
I'm back now.
I don't usually take a nap during the day,
but I might now.
Oh, I just might.
You're sweet.
Where did you get these awful stockings?
Would you like me to wash your back?
No, thank you. I can reach it myself.
What are you doing, a big girl like you?
On Sundays, Mummy,
you always let me wash your back.
- Is it Sunday?
- Oh, you're a silly Mummy.
I'd better get out before I fall asleep.
And drown?
What do you know about drowning?
- Ducks don't drown. Look.
- No! No, let it be!
I'm so glad you're back.
Can I crawl into bed with you?
Please, Mummy, can I?
It's so nice, isn't it?
You used to say, remember,
"All one needs is a great big bed
with all the people one loves in it. "
When you're older, you'll appreciate
the advantages of sleeping alone.
I'm scared when I sleep alone.
There's nothing to be scared of.
- What about the moon dog?
- The what?
The moon dog.
He sits up there watching me.
Oh, that's just a nice old man
who forgot to shave.
Nobody's just a nice old man.
Sometimes he shows his teeth
and goes, "Grrr!"
Well, you just say, "Down, boy. Down. "
Down, boy! Down!
- He's gone.
- See?
He'll be back.
Not if you say your prayers.
Prayers? In the afternoon?
That's when the good Lord
has time to listen.
Why? What does he do at night-time?
He worries.
I don't know any prayers.
Dear God, by whose mercy...
Dear God, by whose mercy...
.. I am shielded for a few hours...
.. I am shielded for a few hours...
.. let no one snatch me from this heaven.
.. let no one snatch me from this heaven.
Since you're so clever,
why can't you understand that my
virginity is the only thing I possess?
Ha-ha. I know it's funny.
Mother is asleep.
But I warn you,
I will do absolutely nothing
to hurt her feelings.
Will you stay in that chair? Do you hear?
Eat this.
Mother is Mother.
Now, that's something to be.
You're a teacher.
You can put that in your passport.
What have I got?
That's me.
That's all I am.
I often think of our day on the Downs
and the leaves on which we lay.
I didn't mind getting wet.
I saw the clouds beyond you.
You said, "Am I too heavy?"
I didn't mind that,
or your breathing or anything like that,
as long as we were dressed.
But I will not undress for you.
I won't let you get that close.
Do you want to touch my hair?
All right, you may... touch my hair.
Let go of me!
I'll give you the sound if you let go.
What's so great about that sound anyway?
Why do you make such a fuss
about that sound?
Take your hand off me!
Please! Take your hand away!
Take your bloody hand off me!
Mummy... Come along, Mummy.
Come along.
Good morning, Mummy.
- Good morning.
- How is the pain?
I slept marvellously.
Oh, I'm so glad.
Spring has come overnight.
Where are my clothes?
What do you want to wear?
Well, you choose, darling.
You've always had such distinguished taste.
No. That's too drab for a spring day.
That should be worn
on a day when it rains like piss.
I beg your pardon.
I don't know what made me say that.
You know, I was having, er... tea
the other day, at the, er...
when this... the, er...
the Duchess said the selfsame expression.
Can you believe it?
Oh... that must be an original!
It is. I'd completely forgotten it.
When was the last time I wore it?
It must have been...
Oh, yes, of course,
the Queen's birthday party.
Just the thing for a... formal occasion.
Like the opera.
- Or the... the ballet.
- The opera.
Or a sit-down supper party.
Oh, God, I'm getting so fat!
I keep on retaining all this
terrible water. It puffs me up so.
- Is that necessary?
- Keep still.
What's the matter with your hair?
I... I never could stand
anyone mucking around with my hair.
It makes me fidgety.
It gives me goose bumps.
Please stop!
But we can't have you walking about
looking like a whore.
Who's that?
Aunt Hannah and Hilda, I suppose.
- We've been to the cemetery.
- Lovely blowing weather.
There wasn't a flower
on your mother's grave.
Do you think that's proper?
It's too cold for flowers.
Cenci, your mother is dead.
You mustn't wander the streets
looking for her.
- No.
- Are you listening?
- Yes.
- Don't interrupt. I can't get a word in.
Mother's in the garden pruning roses.
There isn't a soul in the garden.
One of your morbid jokes again.
Very well, two can play.
Daddy Albert was arrested in Philadelphia.
- I don't know what you mean.
- For interfering with a minor.
Leave me alone!
Why can't you leave me alone?!
You're all nerves, Cenci.
You haven't even offered us any coffee.
These young people! No discipline.
And when did you last have a bath?
We have a perfect right
to visit your mother's bedroom.
You've lit the fire.
Why a fire when it's unseasonably warm?
- Wasting all that money.
- It's stifling hot in here.
Oh... Ooh!
Look! Hannah, look!
All these dresses!
Cenci, they'll hang here till they rot.
Cenci, you might as well get rid of them.
You might give us one or two.
This one, for instance,
looks just right for me.
Oh, the black fox!
Oh, dear, the black fox.
Christmas '55, everyone sloshed...
and Gustav still alive.
- Ah, dear Gustav.
- Carving the roast.
The most generous brother that ever...
Gave me an electric razor by mistake.
And sang.
Oh, Cenci, the moths will get at it.
It's too middle-aged for a girl like you.
What would you want with a thing like this?
Isn't it, Hannah?
No! You can't have the mink.
Look at your mother's bed!
It's warm.
At 11 o'clock in the morning.
No, it's nearly noon.
A decent bed isn't supposed to be warm.
Cenci, are you alone?
Have they left?
You didn't tell them about me, did you?
They think you're dead, Mummy.
Hello! Anybody home?
Hello. Margaret, is that you?
Hi there.
How have you been?
No, no, don't tell me.
Aren't you going to let me in?
You know I'm harmless before lunch.
Now, for Christ's sake, come on out.
I'll see you around the campus.
Where have you been?
Christ! Who gave you all that money?
- I've been to the bank.
- What bank?
It's Tuesday. If you don't want me to go
to the bank any more, just say so!
No need to shout.
Did you... go anyplace else?
Did you... meet anyone... else?
Darling, you know you can trust me.
I wouldn't trust you with a crooked penny.
Somebody... called.
- I don't know anyone by that name.
- Give Mummy a kiss.
Oh, my God!
Was... Daddy Albert a great lover?
What do you mean?
Was he greater than Daddy Gustav?
I guess so.
Was he... stupendous?
Stupendously... gentle?
And also brutal?
Did he make you give out...
a sound?
What kind of sound?
Let me hear you do it.
Are all men clever like that?
They're just little boys
that... need to have their...
bottoms wiped.
I'm going out.
- Can I come too?
- No, darling.
Please, let me come with you.
- Will you put that bloody thing down?
- Please?
- It's laundry day.
- I wouldn't touch your filthy laundry.
Cenci, you do the laundry
or no telly this week.
- Ha! We haven't got a telly!
- Oh, you're impossible today!
- You're coming back, aren't you, Mummy?
- Oh, don't be silly, of course I am.
- Come back soon!
- I will.
Oh, my God!
- Hilda!
- Yes? What is it?
Oh, really... Oh, all right.
Who the hell are you?!
Um... I'm Leonora.
Leonora? Who?
Margaret's cousin.
You and your damned apparitions.
I could have sworn
it was our dear departed sister-in-law.
Poor Margaret was smaller.
Her eyes were a different colour.
- She was skinnier too.
- Especially towards the end.
Poor Margaret wasn't exactly
what I'd call thin,
but towards the end,
she looked like an umbrella.
I really don't know
how you could have made the mistake.
That's Margaret's purple velvet!
Yes. Cenci gave it to me.
Would you care for some tea?
Thank you.
- So you're poor Margaret's cousin?
- Yes.
I wonder
why she never mentioned you.
My dear,
you know what she was like.
It's very odd, isn't it?
Poor Margaret insisted, especially after
Albert went back to the States,
that she and Cenci
were quite alone in the world.
She never counted us.
We were always the poor relations.
She never forgave us
for being... slightly Jewish.
Like our Saviour on his mother's side.
Actually, we didn't get along either.
- Oh?
- It was just... misunderstandings.
What about?
Well, I'd rather not discuss it.
- Money?
- Family matters.
What money?
Surely you know Cenci was heiress
to the Engelhard fortune.
Stinking rich, she is.
- She's never given me a red cent.
- A what?
You're not American, are you?
Yeah. Why? Any objections?
- Small world, isn't it?
- They do get around, don't they?
Well, I have problems of my own.
I wasn't even informed of Margaret's illness.
I mean, can you believe that?
I live in Tunbridge Wells
but that's no excuse.
They had my address.
They could have sent me a postcard.
I mean, I'm not one to nurse grudges but...
Did she suffer?
Didn't Cenci tell you?
Well, she didn't go into detail.
Spent her last three months
shut up in that house.
- Didn't want to see anyone, not even us.
- Sacked the servants.
- The nurses.
- Even the doctor.
- Said they were trying to poison her.
- She talked a lot of rubbish.
Her mind was neither here nor there.
Poor Cenci had to do everything.
She was nurse, cook, housemaid, the lot.
She simply idolised her mother.
I remember the night before the funeral.
She sat there by the coffin.
I'll never forget her face as long as I live.
In my opinion, it was then or thereabouts
that she became unhinged.
She had such a demented look.
A little smile... You know?
We were petrified.
Then she started babbling utter nonsense,
saying her mother had gone
to the hairdresser.
She'd been away from home a long time.
Perhaps she was lost.
- She never turned up at the funeral.
- Locked herself in the loo. With a doll.
That poor child.
She never had it easy in that big house.
- Dotty mother of hers.
- And Gustav.
Dear Gustav.
You met Gustav, didn't you?
Er... only once.
- The most generous brother that ever lived.
- Dropped dead when Cenci was... nine.
And his poor body's
still warm in the grave...
When poor Margaret picks up that Albert.
Huh! Albert.
His stinking pipes,
his tweeds, his books...
His walk...
his terrible, languorous, insinuating walk.
His hands.
- What do you mean?
- I don't want to hear about it.
Let her know. Let the world know.
- I could see it coming.
- It was inevitable.
- I don't want to hear about it.
- A randy bastard.
Poor Margaret found them in the kitchen,
his hands on Cenci, like this.
And poor Margaret yelling,
"Albert, get out of the house! Get out!"
But Cenci's still a child!
- Cenci a child?
- Cenci is 22 if she's a day.
Well, she'll...
always be a baby to me.
Crazy people never look their age.
That's disgusting!
You're all disgusting! Why didn't you
stop it? Why didn't you do something?
You've all let her down. You've abandoned
that child, all of you, for the...
Well, her mother, she had no business
to die and leave her alone.
Why didn't you call someone,
a doctor or the police?
- What do you think we'd have gained by it?
- On the contrary. You'd have lost.
- Lost?
- What do you mean, lost?
Lost the chance
to go on stealing things at that house.
- I beg your pardon!
- I don't know what you mean!
If that girl has come
to you, telling tales...
- She has said nothing.
- Well, then, come to the point.
To come to the point,
I'm talking about a number of valuables,
missing from that house.
To come to the point, I'm talking about
several of "poor Margaret's" dresses.
Oh, rubbish. Well, Cenci doesn't
appreciate family heirlooms.
To come to the point,
I'm talking about this doll.
Look what you've done! You killer!
If ever you dare drag your ass around
to that house on any excuse whatsoever,
I'll set the cops on you.
You keep it.
Is your goddamn mother home?
I'm not going to eat you, you silly bitch.
May I come in?
These are for you.
Where's Mom?
- Gone out.
- Oh?
Whatever happened
to the unmentionable disease?
Oh, er... she... made a remarkable recovery.
Oh, well, what do you know?
After all that fuss
about... "abdominal anguish".
Plain spastic colon,
that's what it was, you know,
brought on
by her unhealthy disrespect for sex.
You know, love...
she never really forgave me for
treating her as though she were a woman.
The first time I touched her hair,
she called me a pervert.
I was usually pleased.
"Albert... Why, whatever
are you doing, Albert?"
And how's Daddy Gustav?
- May I say hello to him?
- The door's locked.
Oh, I've got a knack for opening doors.
There's absolutely no need to fear the dead.
They're no longer in the majority, you know.
They used to outnumber us, I suppose,
ten to one,
but we're catching up.
We're dancing on their graves.
I'm very fond of life, myself.
Look at him.
I'm rather good at laying ghosts.
Hello, Gussie.
Come on.
Say it. Repeat after me, "Hello, Gussie. "
- I can't.
- Say it. "Hello, Gussie. "
Hello, Gussie.
Hello, Gussie!
Do you like my beard?
We'll cut it off. Right now.
Come on, you cut it off.
Go on, into the kitchen.
Why don't you like it?
It's so... scraggly,
so vile.
My sheep's clothing, kid.
I grew up in the City of Brotherly Love.
Fools everybody.
Kids get up and give me their seats
on the bus, cops call me sir.
All the little sophomores think
I'm just a benign old poof from England
dabbling in cybernetics
until we get to the parking lot
and I grab them.
Ploughed into the groves of Academe.
The wretched lecher they call me.
Still a virgin, are you, Cenci?
Are you still a virgin?
- Yes, Father.
- Yeah, me too.
Total celibacy.
No, that's not true.
Why can't I be honest with you?
In the past 12 months,
there's been a masseuse,
two faculty wives,
a tiny little black lady
majoring in political science, except...
Never mind. Let's get on with it.
Except for your portraits everywhere -
on the mantel,
over the kitchen range, facing the tub.
I sit, staring at them all night.
It's my own closed-circuit system.
I look at your goddamn face
and I make up soap operas about it.
They always end up happily in bed.
I've talked it over with Grabscheid.
He's head of the psychology department.
He says that incest is a rather boring
symptom of the private property system.
Do you realise that, right now,
all over the Australian bush,
fathers are bashing their daughters.
Still got your freckles?
- Yes.
- Let's have a look.
Would you like me to take you to the circus?
- No.
- To the zoo?
- No.
- All right, you're fired. You're through.
I don't need you any more.
London is filled with stray daughters.
I'm staying at the Cadogan.
That's where Oscar Wilde got caught.
If you don't watch out,
I might turn into a fag or worse.
- Come on, say something nice.
- I won't.
You punk. You bow-legged little pisher.
You... You've never really understood
my longings, have you,
the extraordinary purity of my longings?
No, Father, I haven't.
The first time I ever saw you, you were 11.
You came sliding down the banister
in blue jeans.
I thought, "That's for me. "
Let me hear that sound at least.
- No.
- Come on, let me hear that sound.
After all, I'm only your stepfather.
Let me hear that sound!
I can't help myself.
Please give me strength
to go back to that house.
It's not the money, you understand.
For three years, I've been wandering
from place to place like a Jew.
Do you think I like sitting
on that park bench...
as the cars come cruising by, waiting for
some bastard nobody else will sleep with?
Oh, God...
I want that child.
I'd cherish her to my dying hour.
I already lost a little angel once
on a spring day out of neglect.
How can anyone kill so casually,
just by looking away,
just simply by not being there?
This time, I will not be careless.
Oh, please, God...
No! No!
Please! No!
Are you hurt?
- Where have you been?!
- Who was he?!
Never mind. I can afford it.
They've made me a full professor.
Americans are boobies, aren't they?
Imagine making you a professor.
What is it that you teach, Albert?
Well, we have this enormous auditorium
with 3,000 seats,
completely wired, taped, bugged.
We fill it with human guinea pigs
and we plug them all in,
their armpits, their salivary glands,
their tear ducts...
We run these old Jean Harlow movies
and then we measure the humidity,
the salivation, tumescence...
- The what?
- There's a genius of a professor in the lab.
He's invented a tiny camera which we insert
in all sorts of private places to photograph...
- What?!
- Love.
What sort of stone is this?
What is it, pumice? Limestone?
Couldn't you have been more generous?
- Why didn't someone let me know?
- The address you left was 172 Spring St.
- Well?
- You omitted to say what city.
You know, she wasn't half bad,
poor Margaret.
Lovely, soft, dark raven hair,
and so bloody proud of her breasts,
those fantastic, opulent,
mother-of-pearly globes.
I want marble for Margaret.
Do you hear?
I want a marble stone for her!
Hey, wake up, lazybones.
Who do you think you are, Sleeping Beauty?
It's 9:30 and the cleaners have been here
for half an hour.
Now, come on, get up. Come on, get up!
Now, come on. There's a good girl.
Will you hurry up?
I'm coming.
Two lumps?
Help yourselves.
- Thanks.
- Excuse me.
Yes? May I help you?
Miss Engelhard?
Thank you.
- Hello?
- Hello.
What do you want?
Who's she?
None of your business.
Persistent, isn't he?
Not much of a conversationalist, are you?
- Good afternoon, Mrs Engelhard.
- Oh, hello.
Miss Engelhard.
This way, please.
Your room, Miss Engelhard.
This way, Mrs Engelhard.
Thank you.
- Oh...
- That's terribly sweet. Thank you.
Oh, look, Mummy.
- I trust everything is to your satisfaction?
- Super. Thanks so much.
Are you dressed?
Isn't the sea lovely, Mummy?
Are you happy?
Mmm. What have you decided to wear?
Er... the... the green chiffon.
There's a little boy out there
building a sand castle.
- Oh, darling, we'll be late for dinner.
- You go ahead, Mummy.
I want to make an entrance
with my daughter.
No, really, Mummy. You go ahead.
I have a surprise for you. Please?
- Are you all right?
- Yes.
Who is this wonderful woman?
She is too beautiful for words.
She is so beautiful.
- Who is she?
- Yes, she's very beautiful.
You should try to find out if she's...
You're too loud.
Sorry to have kept you waiting.
I didn't think I could make it.
The usual thing?
Yes, the usual thing.
Did you actually throw up, darling?
I, um...
I'm famished now.
Well, shall we, er...? Shall we order?
I think I'd like
an enormous piece of red meat.
Er... We'd like to order now.
- Yes, madame.
- For three.
Very good, madame.
Thank you.
You don't look like my late wife at all.
She was well-bred and rather frail,
except for her famous mammalia.
Oh, excuse me. That's a private
joke in questionable taste.
Still, sometimes, one has to choose
between good taste
and being a human being.
You look more like a cow than my late wife.
Oh, no offence. I'm very fond of cows.
Moo... Also, she had no cousins.
I beg your pardon. She had one, James.
Obviously, you're not James.
What do you want with my daughter?
- You have no right to ask me any questions.
- No right? You must be out of your mind.
- I'm her legal guardian.
- No, you're not.
Very well, I'm not. Not yet, not legally.
I've had no time to make the arrangements.
I've been away.
But I assure you, I intend to take
every step to ensure my rights.
Warner and Swayze are my attorneys.
Who are yours?
You have cause to fight me?
On what grounds?
I'll hit you with everything in the book.
Cenci, at 15,
chewing the edge of her blanket,
lifting up her skirts at the slightest
provocation, like me.
You dirty bastard! You raped her!
I couldn't rape a randy elephant.
I'm much too... tentative.
I need encouragement, and I love her.
I've always loved her.
I make her feel like a woman.
I've always made her feel like a woman,
even when she was 16.
What do you make her feel like?
A retarded zombie?
- I try to protect her from...
- Listen, you mysterious bitch,
you fluff, you cow...
I don't need any instructions
in fatherhood from you.
When she was small,
I used to take her ice-skating.
You try ice-skating with varicose veins.
I'd hold her hands at the dentist's,
get up in the night and put her back
to bed when she was sleepwalking.
I'd drive her to school in all sorts
of weather and comb her long hair.
I might take her face in my hands...
but only with the utmost delicacy.
You stay away from her.
I don't care what she's told you.
I'm excruciatingly shy.
She was always a great one
for encouraging... sin.
- I... I don't...
- Blue sin...
- I don't want to hear.
- .. red sin, fabulous purple sin.
I never could resist those freckles,
that skin, that fish mouth.
She used to come to my room
with a bottle of baby oil.
If you don't shut your foul mouth...
She'd ask me to lie with my face down.
She'd straddle me like a horse,
her long silk hair falling in a wave
and swishing against my back...
while she started to rub me down.
She manipulated my toes so cleverly,
my hair stood on end,
and always, she'd ask me to turn over,
still in the saddle,
and her long hair falling in a wave
to cover my embarrassment.
- But I never touched her.
- You lying bastard!
Let her go.
She needs me.
The best thing
her mother ever did for her was to die.
If you don't let her go,
she'll just keep getting smaller,
until, finally, at about 25 or 30, you'll
find her in a corner with a baby bottle.
I'm sorry.
I had a daughter once.
She was a very unusual child.
What happened to her?
She vanished.
You missed
a fabulous dinner, Mummy.
You bet your skinny ass.
The beach hasn't changed a bit
since the last time.
Nothing ever changes here.
Yeah. It's a real swinging joint.
I think I'd like to go for a walk now.
Why don't you just do that, sweetie?
What's the matter, Mummy?
My goddamn back is killing me.
Ah... All that bending in the woods.
You wouldn't like to massage it for me,
would you?
Oh, yes, please. I'd love to.
Oh, poor Mummy,
stiff as a rod.
You just relax and be a perfect child of God.
Am I doing all right?
Am I the perfect masseuse?
Yes. In which newspaper
did you last advertise?
Get off my back, you little bitch!
Why is your pillow wet?
None of your frigging business.
I'd... better go to bed now.
I'm simply exhausted.
What in hell do you have to be exhausted
about at your age?
Well, you know, in my condition...
- What condition?!
- One gets easily tired.
I believe that, tonight, for
the first time, it kicked me!
There's nothing there to kick!
As I was leaving the dining room,
I could distinctly feel it kick me!
- Cenci, this has got to stop!
- I've missed the birth twice!
Don't! Don't! Don't!
No! No!
My baby! My baby!
Why are you in my mother's clothes?
Get out!
Hush, little baby
Cry no more
Father's gone fishing
Mother's a whore
Back in the morning
To guard your life
With two short prayers
And a carving knife
Oh that I were
Where I would be...
Then would I be
Where I am not
But where I am
There must I be
And where I would be
I cannot...
Who is it?
I'm sorry to disturb you, miss.
Good evening, Leonora.
I've been meaning to return your key.
Are you all right?
What are you talking about?
I telephoned every day.
In reference to what?
I thought you might need...
Need something? Need what for instance?
It's such a big house.
Thank you, but I've... all the help I need.
I wouldn't ask for much.
Are you applying for a position?
In a manner of speaking.
Do you have references?
- I've had lots of experience dealing with...
- What?
With suicides?
Well, I've only tried it once.
Explain yourself.
After the... funeral.
My baby.
- Oh, I thought I'd show him.
- What... what funeral? What baby?
Show him? Show whom?
You'll have to be a great deal more precise.
Oh, have a heart!
I can't even remember her face any more.
I look at her pictures most days
and all I see is a little stranger.
Bernard fades too.
That was his name, Bernard.
Not Bern-ard, but Ber-nard.
"You'll be sorry when I'm dead, Bernard,"
I said to myself.
"It may be a mortal sin but it'll
break your lousy heart, Bernard,"
I said to myself.
I dressed up in all my finery.
I even had my hair done up in curls.
I set the table for two with candles.
I swallowed every goddamn thing
I could lay my hands on - aspirin,
Disprin, Veganin, codeine, the lot.
I lay down on the sofa.
The music was playing.
I drifted off down a
cool river toward the sea.
If you've got to go, that's...
that's the way to do it, like in a poem...
except I became violently sick.
I staggered out to the loo.
I could hardly make it.
I started to go blind.
I was puking like a drunken sailor.
I slipped and fell and broke my bloody hip,
and that's how he found me.
Do you know what Bernard said to me?
"You could have
killed yourself, honey. "
I haven't done anything wrong.
Let me stay. Let me stay, for Christ's sake!
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
There were two mice fell in a pail of milk.
One of them yelled for help and drowned.
The other kept pedalling
around and around...
till, in the morning,
he found himself on top of butter.