Small Time (2014) Movie Script
This is the story
about my father
and the summer we spent
together many years ago.
It was the summer
that changed my life.
Ah, your love is fading
I feel it fade
Ah, your love is fading
Woman, I feel it fade
Ah, woman,
woman your touch
Your touch has gone cold
As if someone else
controls your very soul
I've fooled myself
long as I can
Can feel the presence
of another man
It's there when you
speak my name
It's just not the same
Ooh, baby
I'm losing you
It's in the air
It's there everywhere
Baby, baby, babe
I'm losing you
And later on in the show,
I'm gonna wash it out
right in front of you
so you can see how it looks.
Burger maker,
the ingenious kitchen gadget
that lets you stuff, stuff,
stuff your way to the best
tasting burgers ever...
Thanks to the upper winds.
The upper wind pattern
right now is warmer
through the middle part
of the country,
right through the
midsection of the U.S.
that'll keep the warm air
coming from the west.
Our temperatures
look above normal,
probably through the beginning
of next week.
You coming to bed?
In a minute.
Are you crying?
No.
Babe, you're crying.
Does weather make you sad?
I don't know what it is.
Everything just
makes me cry lately.
Maybe I have high
blood pressure.
I don't think you have
high blood pressure.
I'm driving
down the street today,
I see this guy bought
his little boy a snow cone,
you know, from the back
of a truck, and...
Hm-hmm.
I start blubbering
like a baby.
I had to pull over.
Maybe you're thinking
about your son.
I mean he's graduating
high school tomorrow.
It's not like
he's going off to war.
No, but
he's getting to that age.
It's an adjustment.
I'll say.
You've been
a great dad to him, Al,
and you always will be.
I have an idea.
Why don't I come over
next weekend and...
I can cook dinner
for the three of us,
and get to finally meet
the legendary Freddy Klein.
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah, maybe?
What am I doing wrong here?
You're not doing
anything wrong.
Then why can't
we be together?
I mean, really together?
Linda, we are.
Come on,
don't, don't do that.
Don't do that.
Who the hell is calling
at this time a night?
Oh, I wonder.
Hello?
Hey, Al.
We have a little situation
here at the lot.
What are you
doing at the lot?
My TV crashed.
I wanted to catch the game.
Anyway,
there's a young man here,
uh... What's your name?
Jason.
- Jason what?
- Sanders.
His name is Jason Sanders.
Any relation
to Phil Sanders of B of A?
No.
Jason here tried to boost
the silver Mustang
we traded in last month.
Luckily, I was here
to catch his felonious ass.
You called the cops?
No, I did not
call the police.
I wanted
to talk to you first.
Well, what do you think?
Well, I don't know yet.
What?
Well, no, I-I don't...
...like the fact
this keeps happening
any more than you do.
Yes.
He is trespassing.
What, you mean
like in the leg?
Wait, wait, Mister.
Let's not get crazy here, okay?
Come on.
He says he'll do anything
to make it right.
I'll be right down.
Put it back,
pretty boy Floyd.
You make me nervous.
We think that Herman's
been washed out to sea.
So what's the problem?
Nothing, all right?
Ash, we gotta
fix that clock.
This is classic.
Am I interrupting anything?
Yeah, Herman's getting the shit
beat out of him tonight.
What's with the gun?
Oh, good, isn't it?
It looks real.
Oh, thank God.
You were here the other day
with your friends.
Yeah.
He was driving a BMW.
What are you doing
trying to steal a car from us?
Mister, I wasn't gonna
keep the car, okay? I swear.
I was just gonna drive it around
for a couple of hours.
Why?
My friends
dared me to do it.
This whole thing
was just a... goof.
It's a goof.
My son goofed like that,
I'd put my foot up his ass.
You ever been
to prison, Jason?
No.
Let me see your wallet.
All right, I don't
have any money.
Call the police.
Okay, here you go.
Who's Dr. William Sanders?
He's my father.
Mr. Martini,
call in a $6,500 approval
while I do
Mr. Sanders' paperwork.
I-I'm sorry, what?
$6,500?
That's a very good price.
Ah, you know, I got a soft spot
for troubled youth.
You-you guys can't do this.
This is my father's
credit card.
I-I'm not allowed to use it
except for emergencies.
Mr. Sanders, if you do not
consider grand theft auto
an emergency then you live
one wild life.
This is gonna bring you
and your father
much closer together.
It-it-it really will.
Trust me.
Yeah, I'd like an
authorization, please.
I'm sorry, what exactly
are you guys doing?
Selling you a car.
Is that exhaust system
under warranty?
Not that I'm aware of.
What time we gotta be
at graduation tomorrow?
Should I wear
like a sports coat? Suit?
What, I got-
I gotta dress you now?
You can wear
whatever you want.
You know what I realize
about you after all these years?
You got a lousy disposition.
Let's go to Casa Rio,
grab a drink.
Good night, Ash.
It's ladies night.
Good sale.
Yes, it was.
Why do they want him
to sleep outside in a tent?
- This, I do not understand.
- Pete, Pete, Pete.
They're Scouts.
That's what Boy Scouts do.
They go camping.
Why?
There's no bathroom.
There are snakes over there.
Costa! Hey!
don't get me the...
Come on!
Hey, come on, guys,
let's go. Chop, chop!
We got people waiting
to get to work here.
I like your pocket thingy.
Yes, it's uh,
it's what I like to call
"the finishing touch. "
I just got this one in,
less than 30,000 miles on it,
mint condition.
A new paint job.
If you have any questions,
don't be afraid to ask.
My name is Al.
I'm one of the owners.
You deal with me directly.
Yes, they do.
He's not eating, mother.
There's something wrong
with him!
No, I don't want to wait
until the weekend.
I can't.
Will you please just take him
to the vet this afternoon?
- Emergency.
- Ugh!
Yes, I will re...
I will reimburse you.
I am, I know I still owe you
for the marshmallows.
Just please...
Diamond Motors.
I've got to go!
I'm so sorry
about that, Mr. Martini.
Oh, I made those cookies
for you and Mr. Klein,
and they're sugar free.
Did you process the uh,
paperwork I left on your desk
last night?
Oh!
Uh, you left paperwork?
Well...
The Mustang?
We sold it last night.
I didn't,
I didn't see anything.
It's uh,
it would be right here.
I don't use my inbox.
I'm afraid I would
rely on it too much.
Just process the car, Gail.
- Okay.
- Thanks.
- Mr. Martini?
- Yeah?
Do you think
that I might be able to leave
a little bit early today
because I think
my cat might be dying?
No.
- May I sit in, please?
- By all means.
Al!
Al, Al, Al, Al!
Hey, what are you doing?
I'm showing
these nice people a car.
No, no, no, no,
I-I got someone coming by
this afternoon to buy it.
Who?
It-it-it's a doctor
from Beverly Hills.
I'm sorry, folks.
I can't sell you the car.
Why not?
Did this doctor
leave a deposit?
No.
Well, did he sign anything?
- Al, he really wants the car.
- Ash.
I...
Come on.
I-I'm sorry.
A little oil
will fix that right up.
That's nothing.
Slide on in there.
Can I start the engine,
please?
Sorry?
Can I start the engine?
Yes, by all means.
There you go.
May I?
This is nothing.
It's just a loose wire.
Barlow!
I'm gonna have my mechanic
take a look at it.
And I guarantee you,
he's gonna fix this up
in about two minutes' time.
Barlow, I think we have
a little ignition issue here.
Can you take a look?
It'll just
take a second, folks.
I thought you told me
this car's ready to roll?
Well, no.
Have you been drinking?
Yes, Mr. Klein, I have.
It's ten in the morning.
What's going on?
I come to my house last night
and my wife is not there.
She goes to her mother
And she says I don't
make her happy no more.
Shh, okay.
Look, I understand
that you're upset.
But we can't do anything
about your wife at this moment.
Would you agree with that?
Barlow. Barlow.
You can't do this right now.
You gotta pull
yourself together.
Barlow, you ca...
Figured it out.
Just what I thought.
It's a, it's a loose wire.
We'll have it done in a second.
Listen to me.
Sometimes things break down,
right?
It happens.
Right?
And we just don't
sit around and mope.
We fix them.
You're a fixer.
Now if you can
get this car to run,
you can get your wife back.
You really think so?
I know so.
Come on.
Try it now.
Try it now.
There we go!
A loose wire,
just like I thought.
Cash!
She pulls out a stack
of hundreds this thick.
Outstanding.
What'd we clear
on that car, a G?
Uh, a little less.
I had to throw
in some floor mats,
which we're out of so call
Jerry.
I'll call Jerry.
So uh, guess what I got
the kid for graduation?
I don't know.
A bond.
A bond?
Yeah, a bond.
A bond.
What?
Nothing. It's terrific.
I'm sure he'll love it.
Well, what did you get him?
Just this.
I had it engraved.
It's nice.
Is that a Rolex?
No it's not a Rolex.
Why are you
busting my stones?
Why are you
busting my stones?
Now I feel bad about
buying the kid a bond.
Don't feel bad about it.
I'm sure it'll mature
when he's 80.
He'll be able to buy
medication with it. A cane.
New teeth.
Hey, cowboy, slow down, man.
We got time.
one high school
graduation in my life.
I am not gonna be late.
Excuse me, miss?
Where's everybody going?
The graduation's over.
No it's not.
It starts at noon.
It started at nine.
Al.
What?
Come on.
I still can't believe
she lets that one drink
monkey put his hand up
her skirt.
Al, how are you?
- Hi, Chicky.
- Martini.
Where's Fred?
Where were you?
We were in the back.
Were you really here?
Would I miss my only kid's
high school graduation?
We were here, Barb.
Wasn't it wonderful
seeing him get his diploma?
It was incredible.
Well, I gotta get back
to the office, so...
I'm not rushing
out of here, Chick.
If you want to go, go.
If you want to stay,
I'll stay.
So where's Fred?
With his friends.
His graduation.
Still hustling cars
out there in the valley?
Yeah, we're in Covina.
Don't play this game, Al.
What game is that?
You're a Century City
stockbroker,
bilking old ladies out
of their piggy bank money.
First of all,
I don't bilk anyone.
Second of all,
I'm a venture capitalist,
not a stockbroker.
- You're a stockbroker.
- Al.
- You're an idiot.
- Ash, shut up.
- Nice pinky ring.
- Who are you?
- Who are you?
- What are you?
There he is.
- Dad.
- Hey. Hey, Hey.
Hey, Hey, you made it.
You made it!
Buddy boy!
Where were you guys?
I didn't see you anywhere.
- We were in the back.
- Congratulations.
- Look at that.
- Oh, thank you, Martini.
- Hm-hmm.
- Well, let's open that later.
I want a kiss.
Mmm!
Here you go, Fred.
Congratulations.
It's from your mother and me.
Whoa!
It's a Julian Jacquard,
the finest watch in the world.
Oh, it's unreal.
It's what a Rolex
wants to be when it grows up.
Eh?
Yeah.
Thanks, mom.
Well, it was Chick's idea.
I thought it was
a little much.
He deserves it.
He did great.
- You did great, Fred.
- Thanks.
Could you take a picture
of the three of us?
Uh, which three?
Yeah.
All right, big smiles everybody.
Come on, Chicky, smile.
Don't act like you have
a pinecone up your ass.
Just take the picture
all right?
There you go.
There you go.
Al?
Would you like a photo?
Yeah, that would be great.
- Hey, Martini.
- What?
- Get in here.
- What, you sure?
Yeah, all right.
Yeah, come on.
Yeah, you and me.
- What's this?
- Try it on.
Let me wear that.
All right.
You uh, you been laid yet?
I think so.
What does that mean?
- I don't know.
- Oh, you'll know.
Smile!
Rabbi Mendelsohn,
how are you?
Oh, our mistake.
A shaygetz who eats
creamed herring.
What's the world coming to?
Well, that's what they
feed them on the farm.
Can you be Amish and Jewish?
I don't know.
Anyway, judgment
came up on the TRW.
Lou's not gonna do the deal
unless he can slice
20 percent off the top.
- He's nuts.
- What'd you do?
It's the only game in town.
I took the deal.
You have a vagina, right?
She's at her mother's.
Nice!
Hey, Martini,
what's with quiet boy over here?
He's fine.
- Cheeseburger to go, please.
- Hey, easy.
Go shoot up yourself, Lennie.
With what?
I'll bring you a bologna.
It might be big enough.
And pour some
coleslaw on that.
A bologna and coleslaw
for the assholes.
Hello?
Hey, it's me.
Freddy's not back yet, Al.
Yeah, I'm not, I'm not
looking for Freddy.
Is everything all right?
You sure looked
pretty today, Barb.
Thank you, Al.
Let's have dinner tonight.
Mr. Klein,
I am Mrs. Barnett.
Come on. Come on.
Come on, we'll go downtown.
I'll break out my silk shirt,
you put on your high heels,
we'll have a great time.
Well, that's a hell of an offer,
but Chick really
hates it when I date.
It's no date.
Come on.
My son just
graduated high school.
We need to talk
about his future.
Look, my other line
is ringing.
So let it ring.
I have to go.
If it's important,
they'll call back.
Why are you
doing this to me?
Why did you call, Al?
Does Chick still tell you
how pretty you look?
I'm sorry, Barb.
I shouldn't have called.
It was a dumb... idea.
Freddy?
Freddy?
Hey, dad.
Graduate.
Hey, I'm glad you're here.
What's up?
Uh, I wanted to talk to you
about something.
Anything wrong?
I don't want
to go to Cal Poly.
Okay.
Where do you want to go?
I want to work
at the car lot.
And do what?
Are you gonna follow Barlow
around with a wrench?
I want to be a salesman.
Okay.
I'm listening.
Didn't you always
tell me that,
you know, what you need
to get by in this world
you don't learn from a book?
I did.
Yeah, well I'm sick of school
and I want to live
in the real world.
Don't they like college degrees
in the real world?
Not always.
You know, it depends on
what you do.
- Is that a fact?
- Hm-hmm.
You talk to your mother
about this?
No, I wanted
to talk to you first.
So?
What do you think?
Uh, I think I'm gonna
make me a sandwich.
I'm serious, dad.
I guess I just always assumed
that you would go to college
bigger and better
than what I did.
Well, I thought
you did great, dad.
I'd be proud if I grew up
to be like you.
I was thinking maybe
I could move in with you.
We could make up
for a lot of lost time.
Well, look...
Even if I do say yes,
your mom's not gonna
go along with this.
I mean she hates,
with the white hot
intensity of a thousand suns,
hates what I do for a living.
I don't care.
This is what I want
to do, okay?
And I'm gonna tell her tonight
if you say yes.
Come on, dad.
One little yes.
That's all it takes.
Yeah?
If you think
that I'm going to let our son
throw away his life
to become a peddler,
well, it's not
gonna happen, Al.
- I...
- Barb.
Chick, here.
You talk to him.
I don't wanna talk to Chick.
Oh, please don't put me
in the middle.
Al, if the kid wants a job,
he can come
and work for me.
That's not the point.
Blow it out your ass, Chick.
What?
He wants me
to blow it out my ass.
Barb.
It's not a good idea.
Been here for 16 years, Al.
You might wanna unpack
some of this stuff.
What are you talking about?
you buy a used car
from Diamond Motors.
Very nice.
Hey, how would you
like a fore ply mop?
I'm good.
Still angry?
Just tired.
Hm-hmm.
I may have been
a little upset last night.
Yeah.
Look, so you know, I didn't say
yea or boo to him.
I said it's his life and
whatever he wanted
to do, it's fine.
He just had
to have your support.
Come on.
Buy an old nag
some breakfast.
Sure.
Where's the old nag?
I always said it.
you're the best salesman
in town, Klein.
I never heard you say that.
Thanks.
The soup today
is the spiced pumpkin.
Thank you.
How'd you find this place?
The food's good, Al.
You'll like it.
I guess my world's
pretty small, isn't it?
Well, there is life
beyond the deli,
if you ever
care to venture out.
Ready to order?
Yes, I'll have the caf latte
and an almond croissant.
And for you, sir?
These are eggs?
Yes, they're baked in anisette
with a very light
tomato puree on top.
Ah.
Okay, I'll have the eggs.
Uh, but instead of baking them,
just scramble them up,
nothing on top, rye toast,
a cup of coffee.
Sure.
I like this place.
I'm glad.
What are we gonna do
about our son, Al?
Meaning what?
Don't get defensive.
I didn't come here
to fight with you.
I'm not defensive.
I'm listening.
I just feel it's important,
at this point,
I mean,
he's still a teenager.
It's important to steer him
clear of disaster if possible.
And by disaster, you mean
working with his father?
No, look, I think it'd be great
if he came to work with you
in the summer or during
Christmas vacation, but...
I want him
to go to college.
It's important.
I mean, don't you
want that too?
I want you to know...
it means a lot to me
that we can sit down
and talk like this
without raised horses.
It means that we do have
Freddy's best interest at heart,
but we also both know that
I still have feelings for you,
and I get the sense that
you're trying to take
advantage of that.
I don't like it.
Oh, Jesus, Al.
What is not in our
son's best interest
is for him to throw away his
education to hustle used cars.
Did you rehearse
that one with Chick?
It's got his ring to it.
If I were you, I would
leave Chick out of this.
Gladly. Look, the kid
doesn't want to go to college.
What are we supposed to do?
Force him?
No, but I'm certainly not
going to make it easy for him
by giving him free room
and board and a dead end job.
I see these kids
who go to college.
They smoke dope,
they drink beer,
they screw each other
for four years
on their parents' dime.
You want to talk about
having it easy?
That is not Freddy.
I know. He wants to work.
That's good.
I'm sure god is just having
one big old belly laugh
right now.
I did everything that I could
to make sure that
he had stability
in his life.
And what does he do?
Decides to become
a car salesman.
That's...
That's just perfect.
Look Barb, 18-year-olds
decide a lot of things.
It's up for review
every other day.
If he ends up like you, Al,
I will hang myself.
I really will.
No offense.
No.
But people care about
what they put
into their bodies, Pete.
It's not just me.
I mean, I think you'd get
a whole lot more customers
if you had
a wider variety of things,
like legumes, root vegetables,
stuff like that.
Grain.
Keep that in mind, Pete.
Legumes and root vegetables.
No, I'm serious.
I think if you provided like
a healthy option for people,
it would be really good
for your business.
Where you been?
Ugh, yeah.
Freddy doesn't want
to go to college.
Eh, who needs college?
You think?
Because he wants
to work here.
It could be good
for him, right?
Real life experience,
stuff like that?
Sure.
What's the ex think?
Wow.
What do you think?
Hey, as long as
he earns, I...
Absolutely, no hand-outs.
Yeah.
I'm all for it.
I love the kid.
You know that.
Okay.
You know
what the best part is?
He's gonna live with me.
After all these years.
It's great, right?
That's super.
It's super, Al.
It is super.
Thank you.
I cannot tell you
how disappointed I am.
I cannot tell you.
Well, then don't.
Watch your mouth, son.
I'm not your son.
Listen to me, Freddy.
You don't get these
years back,
being 18, going to college,
having no responsibilities.
It's a great time
in your life.
Yeah, I can't wait.
Yeah.
Dip shit fraternity guys,
football games... Rah-rah!
I can't wait, Mom,
it's gonna be fun.
Just out of curiosity, Fred,
what's it gonna be like
working at a used car lot?
I'm gonna learn how to sell.
From your dad?
That's right.
Hm.
Alberta, this meat's
a little rare.
Ah, sorry, Mr. Barnett.
Just put it back on the grill
for just a minute.
Yes, sir.
Take a look around, Fred.
This house, the things in it,
a view of the ocean.
Pretty nice, isn't it?
Chic.
What? He's old enough
to handle some straight talk.
If he isn't,
he needs to learn.
How 'bout your dad?
Does he have
any of these things?
If I'm not mistaken,
he's still living in a shoebox
out there in the valley,
right?
Pretty pathetic for a man
his age, don't you think?
He did not mean that.
I promise you,
he did not mean that.
You know,
I'll never understand
why you traded dad
for this jerk.
I don't care how many
nice things he buys you.
What is that?
It's a Chevy Impala
with a 350 small block.
Wrong.
Is that a smaller engine?
No, that's a 350.
It's definitely an Impala.
Well, then
why are you wrong?
I-I don't know.
Come on, buddy boy.
What is that?
Uh, it's a-a car?
I don't, I don't know
what you want me to say.
Well, yeah, it's a car,
but what else is it?
What else?
That's a story.
- It's got four doors.
- It's great for car pools.
Two thousand pounds
of metal surrounding you.
Very safe
for the little ones.
Yep.
It's made in America.
Buy this car.
Be a patriot.
Made in Japan?
More bang for your buck.
Okay, all right, I get it.
So tell us.
What is it?
It's a place to take your girl
if you live with your parents.
Put a little tuck and roll
on your ass.
We're not selling
valves and pistons.
We're selling a better life.
Buy this car, you get laid.
You get respect.
At a price you can afford.
But what if
I can't afford it?
Sir, I'm glad
you asked me that.
With no money down,
you can drive this car
off the lot today.
You don't pay a penny
'til January.
Wow, I'll take it.
You getting this, kid?
Yeah, I think so.
Al.
I like it.
Huh? What? Like what?
What are we liking here?
What's going on?
That one's not
for you there, amigo.
You can't afford that one.
Keep going.
- Going?
- Keep going.
Going where?
Where's he going?
What's happening?
Settle.
There you go.
There you are.
Park Avenue deal.
That's the car for you.
Where's Martini going?
You have to be able
to size up a customer
in the first ten seconds.
- How do you do that?
- From the outside in.
What's he wearing?
He's got brown pants.
Hm-hmm.
With stains on them.
He's a slob.
What else?
Uh, t-shirt, tennis shoes.
Yeah, it's probably
got holes in 'em.
What is that in your ear?
Not a big spender, is he?
Al, when was the last time
he took a shower?
A shower?
What... Wait, what?
Tuesday.
How would you know that?
'Cause Tuesday's
the first of the month.
That's when government
checks come out.
This guy clearly
doesn't have a job.
He's gaming the system.
Showered, got dressed,
took the check to the bank,
cashed it, went down
to the two-four poker tables
in Gardenia
where he has been ever since.
Where he made a few bucks.
He sold his last one
to pay off his gambling debts.
This yutz couldn't get
credit from his mother.
Strictly a cash deal.
What are you doing?
What?
I can't hear you.
What is happening right now?
- You're buying a car.
- I'm buying a car?
- You're buying this car.
- What?
Yeah, this one's got the uh
fuel-injected 3.8.
I'm just looking, pal.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
What'd you say?
I said I'm just looking.
Well, you look all you want.
Uh, new headers,
new gauges, new air shocks.
This baby's clean.
Does she have a warranty?
I'm sorry.
What?
Warranty?
Does this vehicle
have a warranty?
Oh, well, hey,
you could buy one.
But it's a Buick Park Avenue.
A war horse.
Comfortable, huh?
How much?
I'm sorry, say again?
How much?
What's the price
of this vehicle?
Oh, uh, you know, I uh,
I don't even know
what he's got it marked at.
Al!
How much
for the Park Avenue?
Uh, $4,200.
$2,200.
So, just to be clear, um,
$2,200 gets me this car?
I don't know.
Make me an offer.
We'll see.
$2,200?
Great!
Let's go write it up.
You know what,
do you mind if we just
bypass all that
wrist business.
I was just kind of hoping
I could just give you the cash
and you give me the pinks
and I could just
take off, you know?
I'm just
kind of in a rush, so...
Oh.
Well, usually I clean
the cars up for the customers.
Not even necessary.
No?
No.
You got a deal.
Let's make a deal.
Our cost on that car
was $900 bucks.
Is that even legal?
What do you mean legal?
It's what we do.
He got himself a good car
and we made a profit.
Everybody's happy.
What's you're reading?
A car magazine.
I'm just trying to get
a feel for everything.
What kind of feel?
Well, I'm just worried,
you know, like,
what if a customer asks me
a question about the car
I can't answer?
So you ask Barlow.
I hope I can do this.
Trust me, you can.
It's not brain surgery.
Well, you just
small talk with the customer.
You get him to like you.
Ask about their kids,
their favorite sports team.
You know, I watch you
and Martini out there.
The stuff you come up with,
it's like you're speaking
a foreign language.
We've been doing
it a long time.
I mean you guys
are like geniuses.
Trust me, we're not.
We're hungry.
We close deals
or we don't eat.
You coming to bed?
Oh, yeah.
- Dad?
- Hm-hmm?
Where'd you get
all these paintings?
A friend of mine
helped me pick them out.
Hm, friend.
What's her name?
Linda.
When am I gonna meet
your friend, Linda?
Hm.
Good night.
Hey, dad?
Why did you and mom
get divorced?
Anytime I ask her,
she always pretends
she doesn't hear me.
Maybe you should
stop asking her.
Come on, dad.
I'm 18 years old.
I can handle it.
You know, I was the only kid
in my-my school
that didn't know
why their parents split up?
Sit down.
Um...
Okay.
After your mom
and I got married,
Martini and I bought
Diamond Motors.
The first few years
were pretty tough.
You know, I mean
there would be days,
sometimes weeks where we
wouldn't even sell a single car.
And that made
your mom very nervous,
not knowing when
the next dollar was coming in
or even if there was
a next dollar.
It's the life
of a salesman, you know?
It's not for everybody.
Anyway, you were born,
happiest day of my life,
and you know,
things were just really bad.
So your mom
had to go out
and get a part-time job.
Whoa, mom worked?
Wha-
Come on.
Just tell me.
So she got hired
as a personal assistant
to a man named Chick Barnett.
And it didn't take him long
to fall in love with her.
She was a very
beautiful woman.
She still is a very
beautiful woman.
What, she had an affair?
And chose Chick?
No.
Listen to me.
She chose you.
Your mom just...
She needed security.
She needed stability
and that was just something that
Chick was able
to provide for her
at a time when I couldn't.
So she was able
to stay home with you.
She was able
to take care of you,
send you to the best schools.
How could you defend her
after what she did to you?
Look, I'm not defending her,
but she raised you right
and so I cut her some slack.
I mean, come on, look at you.
You're a masterpiece.
Dad, it's not funny.
It's messed up.
I'm just saying,
it's not all her fault.
How is it not her fault?
She had an affair, dad.
Sometimes
life is complicated, Freddy,
and they're not good guys
and bad guys.
Just is what it is.
You mean,
sometimes it's shitty.
Sometimes
it's really shitty.
Sometimes it's miraculous.
I mean, look at us.
We're living together,
working together.
Who knew?
You okay?
Uh-huh.
I love you.
Me too.
Good night.
Night.
Hello, folks.
How are we doing today?
Hi.
Carlos.
Hi, Maria.
Uh, Barlow, aqui.
Barlow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Carlos, Maria.
Barlow.
Cool hat.
Do you have any children?
Whom you talking about?
Kids.
Well, I'm Freddy.
Uh, I'm around
if you need me.
Just holler at me.
Cool.
Hey, bro,
are you buying a car?
It's a great shirt.
Hawaii, right?
I got one, too.
I got it at the mall.
You get it at the mall?
You know, I think this might
be a little big for you two.
You two are meant
for each other.
You like the car, huh?
Can I get your number?
Papito!
Mi amor.
Ma'am, if you
buy this car today,
I am gonna throw
in an 8 by 10 color glossy
of my partner, Al,
sitting by the pool
in a Speedo at Caesar's Palace.
And if you don't
buy this car today,
same photo, same Speedo
on my good friend, Ash.
And trust me,
you don't want that.
Same Speedo?
Really?
This one just came in.
Classic, all right?
Are you hungry?
We got, uh, the grill going.
Cool.
Awesome.
Yeah.
Ah.
Well, what do you think?
I like it.
I'm-I'm just not...
Just not what?
I just don't think I'm ready
to buy this truck today.
Well, why not?
I just think I need to think
about it a little more.
You know,
that's probably a good idea.
Oh.
This is a big decision.
You shouldn't buy anything
unless you're absolutely ready.
Well, thank you
for your time young man.
You're welcome, ma'am.
It was very nice meeting you.
It's too bad you're gonna
miss our offer, though.
What um, what-what
offer is that?
Well, we're giving away
a free George Forman Grill
with every car
we sell today.
What model?
Black or platinum?
Platinum, of course.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's do it.
I'll go start up
the paperwork.
I did it!
I did it!
I totally did it.
Congratulations, punk.
You popped your cherry.
Woo!
One, two, three, ooh!
Ooh!
Look at that stinky mess.
This is just to show you
that I don't care
what you're doing.
All right.
And three.
All right, come on I'm in.
Ooh.
How's uh, the shiksa,
the one that works here?
- What's her name again?
- Uh, you mean Gail?
Yeah.
I don't know.
She's fine. Why?
Have you given her
the high hard one yet?
Am I giving her
the high hard-
What is high hard one?
Am I banging her?
Yes, it means banging her.
Why do you say
"the high hard one"?
Check.
- Hey. Hey.
- What do you got?
It's the shtarker!
Uh, this one got pooped on.
Should I...?
- So it looks better.
- You shit on that sign again?
Oh, sorry.
You want me to throw it out?
No.
You clean it.
It's bird shit.
Hey, kid, congratulations.
Old man said
you made your first sale.
Hey,
you're on your way, pal.
Hey, yeah.
Just remember one thing.
People are shit.
- Hm.
- Yeah, that's words to live by.
- Remember that.
- Remember that.
That's wisdom.
That's wisdom.
The only job my son
wants is a blow job.
Freddy wants a blow job, too.
Lennie, blow him.
In a minute.
In a minute.
I'm out.
- All right.
- Ahh.
In five.
- See you, boys.
- Got a lot of red out there.
Where are you going?
I'm gonna take the kid out.
- Where to?
- Where to?
- Casa Rio.
- Ooh!
Bring a rubber.
Kid, just remember
the five Fs,
find 'em, feel 'em,
fuck 'em and forget 'em.
Oh, you idiot.
That's four.
Find 'em...
That's four.
Yeah.
Well what's the fifth?
Finger 'em?
Finger 'em!
I can't believe
you're friends with these guys.
How do you think I feel?
- See you later.
- All right.
Be good.
I fold.
Ooh, you are a class act.
Seriously.
You shouldn't shit on that sign,
though, seriously.
Listen
I wanna tell y'all
Something y'all doing but
You just don't
know it, baby
They are doing it
They're doing it
They're doing it
Yes, they are
I see some future
Mrs. Martinis in here tonight.
The kid'll take a ginger ale.
Were you ever married,
Martini?
I was. Yeah.
Yeah.
I was 19, a long time ago.
What happened?
Well, there's this, uh,
this cute little
Irish Catholic girl
in Clint, Michigan,
Joanne McGraw.
We used to live
with her folks.
Her dad would get drunk
every night and try to kill me.
Why?
I don't know.
It's an Irish thing.
They think everyone's
out to screw 'em.
They're a tough sell.
Speaking of which...
- Yeah, cheers.
- Great sell today.
Hey, your dad's proud of you.
So am I.
I think I can do this.
Think you can?
You did it.
You're a closer.
Yeah, baby.
Okay, so um, well what happened
with the Irish lass?
The Irish lass, yeah.
Well, she came home one night
and told me she was in love
with another man.
What?
God.
God?
She became a medical missionary
and went off to Pakistan.
I think she's still there.
Well, so she's like a nun?
Me and Jesus, the only two men
she ever wanted.
And I got to her first.
Ah, you're B.C.
Hm.
Two balls, two strikes.
One in to the win,
up the back it comes.
It's up there, all right.
It's Linda.
Please leave a message
after the beep.
Hey Linnie, it's me.
How are you, sweetie?
It's been a while.
Uh, just thinking about you
and wanted to wish you
a happy birthday.
I know it's not
until next month,
but why wait until the last
minute?
So... Okay, bye.
So she's just sitting there,
you know?
I don't know what's going on.
I think she's gonna
back out, right?
Bam.
She signs the contract,
hands me the check,
I give her the keys.
I swear to god,
Martini, it was like-
Three o'clock.
Hm?
What, this guy?
Not my three o'clock,
your three o'clock.
Much better.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
You ready?
Am I ready?
For what?
We're gonna go talk to them.
They're a little old for me,
don't you think?
But they're not
a little old for me.
But what if they
don't like us?
Their loss.
Should I talk first
or should you?
Just follow my lead.
Ladies?
I just want to let you know
that I'm a big, big fan.
Me too.
Of?
This whole look.
The hair, the dress.
Just...
stunning.
Really?
Yeah.
Wardrobe says
a lot about a person.
And what does
it say about me?
I'm gonna tell you
in a second.
I'm Ash Martini.
This is young Frederick.
Fred is good.
Just call me Fred.
Can we buy you
ladies a drink?
Sure.
You kidding?
All right, yeah.
- Really?
- You all right, there?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fred here
had a really rough day.
Oh.
Yeah, he's a uh,
he's a fireman.
Yeah, he works for
the fire department,
and uh, they just
put out a big,
huge blaze
down on Long Beach.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Fred single-handedly
rescued three.
It was four...
- Four?
- Yeah.
There-there was a baby.
You saved a baby's life?
I was just doing my job.
Wow.
How long have you
been a fireman?
Oh, I don't know,
just over a year now.
You seem so young.
No.
It's the good genes
I guess, you know?
He works out.
- Me too.
- I can tell.
- Can you?
- Yes I can.
Hello?
Oh, hi Al.
Hey Barb.
Everything all right?
Yeah. Yeah.
Everything's fine.
Can I talk to Freddy?
He's not back yet.
Oh.
Yeah, out, out with friends?
Uh, no.
He went out with Martini.
Okay.
Will you tell him I called?
Will do. Bye.
Where did they go?
Casa Rio.
He went to a sleazy
singles bar with Martini?
It's a restaurant, Barb.
No, I know what Casa Rio is.
It's not an appropriate
place for an 18-year-old boy.
Yeah, I'm not gonna
argue with you about it.
If you want to talk to him,
go right ahead.
No. No.
You're right.
I shouldn't interfere.
This whole thing has
just been so hard on me.
I just can't seem to let go.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Maybe I should talk
to someone about it, you know?
Like a psychologist or...
I think you should talk
about it with your husband?
Yeah.
Well Chick's in London
for the week, so...
Yeah, he didn't
take you with him?
What is that
supposed to mean?
Uh, it's a question.
No, you're trying to dig.
You're just like
a little ferret
trying to dig through the dirt
to come up with something.
Well you can just stop, Al.
Everything's great
between Chick and me.
I'm happy to hear that.
Okay, so I'll tell
Freddy you called.
Well...
How is he?
How is Freddy?
He's-he's doing great.
Does he miss me?
I'm sure he does, yeah.
Well he doesn't call.
I'll have him call you
first thing
in the morning, okay?
Thank you, Al,
for being so patient.
You're a good man.
I thought I was a ferret?
And there really is so much
about you that I like
and admire and...
'm gonna shut up.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Good night.
Good night, Barb.
So what do you think?
I'd want more than 90 days
warranty on a rebuilt engine.
Rebuilt means it's like new.
Ninety's the best I can do.
Not good enough.
With all due respect, sir,
I don't think
you're ready to buy a car.
And that's okay.
You should probably go home
and think about it
a little bit more.
What did you say?
Your game's as good as
your money, pal.
You've practically done
a cavity search on it,
and if you need
someone to convince
you that this is
still a good deal,
in which case you're
wasting both of our time.
I'll tell you what.
If I buy this car
and it breaks down on me
two days
after the warranty expires,
I'll come back
and I'll kick your ass.
Okay.
Then if it doesn't
and you drive it for another
can I come to your place
and kick your ass?
Write it up.
I think it's gonna need
a new transmission, Mr. Freddy.
Look, I don't care
about any of that.
If the car doesn't start,
I can't sell it.
It's real simple, Barlow.
I'm sorry, Mr. Freddy.
It won't happen again.
Yeah, it better not.
What was that about?
The Pinto stalls every time
you try to take it
out for a test drive.
It's embarrassing.
Barlow can't fix shit.
Barlow's been
with me for 16 years.
He can fix anything.
Respect that.
Cool.
Barlow, fan belt
on the Continental,
please,
when you get a chance?
Thank you.
I want to talk to you about.
Yeah?
Think we should
stay open nights.
We'd sell at least
three more cars a week.
Three? Really?
We do some
slasher sales, you know,
like weekend clearance sales.
I know what a slasher sale is.
We'll move inventory.
You know, it will be
a volume business.
Get more cars
and more on the lot.
We'll borrow money
from the bank.
- I already looked into it.
- Listen to you.
- We're not borrowing money.
- Why not?
Because then you
gotta pay it back.
Well, money's cheap, dad.
Rates are low, you know?
We can also
buy cars from Canada.
With the conversion rate,
we save at least
15 percent of our cost.
Where'd you learn that?
Chick used to talk to me
about that kind of stuff.
Look, all I'm saying is.
We can't grow if we
don't spend money, right?
- We're not looking to grow.
- Well, why not?
Because it took us years
to establish what we got,
it works,
I don't want to get greedy.
Oh, dad,
don't play it so safe.
Let's make some dollars.
Just think about it, all right?
I got this guy.
I love this car.
So he gets out and stands there
with this stupid
little baseball cap
and just stares at the car
for like a full minute,
so I finally say,
"Hey Gomer,
are you a Dodger's fan?
You buy this car right now,
I'll throw in two tickets
behind the first base dugout,
game of your choice. "
Rudy, I swear to god,
it was like I was
offering him pussy.
Good night.
Night.
Bottom line, people are shit.
Yeah, they'll
fall for anything.
We used to have this scam
in Youngstown, Ohio.
We buy a painting,
it could be anything,
like a boat or a landscape.
We would cut it out of
the frame, roll it up,
put it in the trunk of the car
and then we'd drive
to some out of the way
bar or restaurant
and we'd try to get the owner
to come out
and take a look at it.
We had the whole act.
We'd talk to him
real hush-hush.
We'd look
over our shoulder like
we're worried
about the police.
It really made 'em think
the painting was hot.
Look stolen.
And we had to get rid of it.
Yeah, for like
$800, $900 bucks.
How much did the painting
actually cost?
Oh, $50 tops.
- Serious?
- Yeah.
This guy thought
he was buying, like,
a stolen Picasso
for next to nothing?
- That's right.
- People are shit.
Stop saying that.
Hm?
Stop staying
that people are shit.
You don't need
to talk that way.
I didn't mean anything by it.
It just hit me the wrong way.
Freddy!
Tell the boys
about that little honey
you were hitting
on the other night.
Oh yeah? Yeah.
You mean at Casa Rio?
Oh yeah, the kid's
got some moves.
Yeah, she was a babe.
No, she was beyond babe.
She was like.
You all right?
You having a stroke?
Should I call 9-1-1?
I'm just saying.
Yeah that, that sounds good.
Let's make it 6 o'clock
at the latest.
All right, good deal Mikey.
Thanks so much. Bye.
Mr. Klein,
I was just wondering...
You can't go home
early today, Gail.
No.
No, that's not
what I was gonna ask.
Look, I know I've just worked
here for a couple of months
and I'm still sort of
learning the system.
I didn't know
we had a system.
Well, I don't know if you know
that I live with my mother?
You've told me
that many times.
- She's on disability.
- I know.
It's less than
$800 a month...
No, give me a minute.
I'm lying.
It might be a wee
bit more than $800,
but it's definitely
no more than $900 a month.
Is there a question
here, Gail?
Yeah, yes. Yes, there is.
Sorry.
Uh, I just want you to know
that I'm actually going to get
really, really
good at this job.
So, cream and sugar,
just like you like it.
I drink it black.
So, I was just thinking,
what better way
to motivate someone
than by paying them
more than the minimum wage?
Are you asking for a raise?
I suppose
if you had to label it.
- Did you process the Toyota?
- I was just about to do it.
Now would be a good time.
Did you give me the paperwork
for the Toyota?
Yeah.
- The fish keep biting.
- The Chevelle?
- Oh yeah.
- Nicely done.
Sweetheart, run that
woman's credit app for me?
Sweetheart?
I think you'll find
my name is Gail.
She's a feminist?
Come on, Martini
calls you sweetheart.
Well you're not Martini.
Just run the app, would you?
You don't need to be
so rude about it.
The customer is waiting,
"Gail. "
Freddy!
She's a joke, dad.
She can't get
a single thing right.
We don't talk to each other
like that in here.
- What?
- Mr. Klein, it's fine, really.
No it's not.
Let's go outside.
Jesus.
Come on, dad.
I was just trying
to do my job.
You think you're
better than other people
because you sold
a few cars?
- No?
- Well you're right about that.
You're not.
I don't ever
want to see you treat
anybody like that ever again,
do you hear me?
I'm sorry.
And stop
with the big shot act.
It's really pissing me off.
I can't believe
you're getting mad over this.
What do you
want me to do, Freddy,
just sit there
while you act like
a snot-nosed little brat?
Now go in there
and apologize to Gail.
I mean it, Freddy.
Go on in.
Great car!
You're gonna love it.
He'll be right with you.
I guess
it's not ladies night, huh?
It's Taco Tuesday.
What's going on?
Freddy can't
work for us anymore.
Why not?
He's doing great.
Yeah.
He's doing great.
And he's happy.
He's happy, he's doing great.
Okay, I'll bite.
What's the problem?
He's just growing up
too fast, Ash.
He's always been such
a sweet kid and he's changing.
Okay.
That's what they do.
He should be in college
with kids his own age.
He can do better than this.
- What's wrong with this?
- Oh come on, Ash.
We're grown men.
We live alone,
paycheck to paycheck.
What happens
10 years down the road?
Five years?
I don't know.
I don't have a crystal ball.
We pay our bills.
We have a few laughs.
No one gets hurt.
It could be worse.
You could lose your family.
Oh Jesus, Al, really?
Isn't the statute of
limitations
on whining up yet?
This is no life for my son.
Okay.
- So what's the plan?
- Well, we gotta let him go.
- Whoa, whoa, we?
- Well yeah.
If I tell him, he's just
gonna come running to you.
"We" gotta do it together.
And what are we
gonna tell him?
It'll break his heart, Al.
Good morning.
Hey.
Are we okay?
Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
What are you looking at?
Just uh, followed a couple
small cap stocks here.
See what trends
before I jump in.
Trends, huh?
Well, be careful with that.
That's gambling you know.
I'll tell you
what's not gambling...
Investing in your business.
Really?
Marketing, dad.
Marketing?
TV commercials.
Huh?
Now, I got this friend
Alan Gottlieb.
He's a film major at UCLA
He gets to use all their
equipment for free:
cameras, film, everything.
You know, we could shoot
a bunch of
60 second commercials.
It won't even
cost us a penny.
Hm?
We'll see.
Dad, I'm telling you.
This is worth it.
Can we at least talk to Martini
about it when we get in?
- Hey Freddy.
- Hey.
- Gail?
- She'll be in at 10.
Uh, Freddy, sit down.
Let's talk.
About the commercial?
Uh no. Something else.
Go ahead, sit down.
- Ash, you want to sit down?
- No.
- You sure?
- I'm sure.
What's going on?
We gotta make some changes.
All right!
I knew you guys
would come through.
No Freddy,
this is not about that.
Ash and I uh,
penciled out the numbers
and, it's gonna be too tough
to keep you on payroll.
What?
Well it's a
two-man business.
It always has been.
It just we can't afford
to spread it out this thin.
What are you saying?
What I'm saying...
is you can't
work here anymore.
- You're firing me?
- No. It's not like that.
What's it like?
You know, I'm selling cars.
Even Martini said it.
I'm a closer.
Remember you said that to me?
You're selling cars
that we could be selling.
There's just not
enough to go around.
Let's get more, then.
That's what I'm saying.
- That's the way to go, dad!
- That's not gonna happen.
We just can't start
changing things around
to accommodate
one more person.
One more person.
Gee, I'm glad I mean
that much to you.
- You do, Freddy.
- This is bullshit.
Hey, hey, hey,
buddy, buddy,
don't talk to your dad
like that.
This is your father.
Yeah, some good
that does me, huh?
Enough.
This is the way
it's gotta be.
I thought you were my friend.
I am.
So what do I do now?
Huh?
Well, do I still live
with you?
Well, what are you
gonna do all day?
I think it's best that you
move back with your mom.
Um, I don't, uh,
I just don't get it.
What I mean yesterday,
everything was going great
and now I'm out?
What did I do wrong?
Just tell me
and I will apologize.
You didn't do anything wrong.
Is this about the Gail thing?
Is that what this is all about?
It's got nothing
to do with that.
It's just not gonna
work out, Freddy.
I'm sorry.
- You're not sorry.
- I am.
You're not sorry,
you're just cheap.
All right, I get it now.
That's why,
that's why mom divorced you.
You won't even
listen to any of my ideas
on how to make more money.
You're so small time.
I can't believe
you're doing this to me.
All right.
I'm gonna go talk to him.
No, we gotta let him go.
Al, you sure
this is the right thing?
I'm not sure about anything.
Hello?
Yes?
Hey Chick, Al.
Uh, that was me.
I must have gotten, uh,
disconnected or something.
What is it, Al?
Is, uh, Freddy around?
What, you haven't
talked to him?
No, no.
Uh, not for a while.
He reenrolled at Cal Poly.
We uh, took him up
there this past weekend.
Oh!
Good news!
Barb's happy about it.
Yeah, good.
Okay then.
Yeah, Chick, uh,
I don't know if Freddy
told his mother
about why things
didn't work out here,
but just...
let her know
that I did what I-
Just tell her I-
I probably should have
just listened to her
in the first place.
All right.
I will, Al.
That much, she likes
being told she's right.
Yeah.
And one other thing, Chick.
I just wanted to...
I know you taught Freddy
a lot of stuff about...
business and...
and I just wanted
you to know that he uh,
he really took it all in.
He learned
a lot from you so I...
I want to thank you for that.
That's really nice
of you to say, Al.
I appreciate it.
Okay, Chick.
Goodbye.
Got three good ones
for auction there.
Take a look.
Al, you okay?
Yeah.
Freddy decided
to go to Cal Poly.
Left last weekend.
That's good, right?
I mean that's what you wanted.
Except for the fact
that Chick's
the one who told me, yeah.
My own son won't even
talk to me anymore.
What do you expect?
I mean you fired him.
Thanks, Ash.
That helps.
He'll come around.
It's what kids do.
They, you know, they...
Kids.
Let's say you and me,
we go to Casa Rio
and get your mind off
this stuff?
Cocktails...
What's the matter with you?
I mean really, Casa Rio?
Well it's the answer
to a couple good ones.
Get off my ass, man.
I'm just
trying to help out, okay?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'll just...
I'm sorry.
And thanks, Ash.
Is this a bad time?
No, come on in.
What's up?
Barb.
If I end up in hell,
you'll come with me, won't you?
Yeah.
All right.
Wait, wait. Wait.
I'm a little confused here.
Are you leaving your husband?
I don't know.
I haven't thought
that far ahead.
Then you came here...
what to have an affair
or a one night stand?
What the hell
difference does it make?
I'm here, in lingerie.
I'm low hanging fruit,
as Martini used to say.
Right, all of a sudden,
out of the blue,
you're good to go?
Haven't you been
trying to get me
in the sack
for the last 14 years?
- Hm, yeah.
- I'm here.
What's the problem, Al?
Chick.
Chick is the problem, right?
And I think you're forgetting
that I used to be that guy
sitting at home
in the dark going,
"Hey, where
the hell's my wife?"
Well this was a mistake
of epic proportions.
It was.
Why'd you do it?
That's a good question.
Barb, Barb,
I'm serious.
I don't know, Al.
Maybe it was because
to have Freddy here with you
and you made the choice
to put his well-being
ahead of your own.
And that made you,
what, pity me?
Actually, it made me feel
close to you again.
Look, I know
coming here tonight
wasn't the most
noble thing I've ever done,
but I had
these feelings for you and...
I wanted to share them
even if it was only
for a couple hours.
I appreciate that,
Barb, I really do,
but a couple of hours
just wouldn't have been enough.
I hope you know that...
even though it didn't
work out between us...
I always felt connected.
Connected?
You felt connected?
You know what I mean.
Actually I don't.
I know you've never
forgiven me, Al,
and I understand...
but you'll never understand
what it was like for me
night after night
sitting on that couch
in that crappy apartment,
the baby in my arms...
just staring
at the front door
waiting for you
to come home from the lot.
I'd hear you
coming up the stairs
and I'd say a prayer.
"Please God,
let Al have sold a car today. "
The door would open
and you'd look at me with that
apologetic look on your face.
And I knew. No sale.
And I was frightened...
because without money,
you can't feed a baby.
I couldn't sit
and wait and hope
and pray my life
away anymore.
I just couldn't do it, Al.
I couldn't do it.
I'm sorry.
I turned it around,
eventually.
Yeah. You did.
Hey uh, any word from...
anyone?
I'm not really sure
what you mean by "word. "
Calls, phone calls,
specifically from
my partner Al Klein?
I don't know
if you've noticed,
but he hasn't been
around much lately.
I did notice, actually.
Has he been sick?
Yeah, he's uh, he's sick.
He should try eastern medicine.
It's really easy.
You don't even have
to get shots.
I just came in to get
some coffee actually.
You seem sad, Mr. Martini.
Do I?
Yeah.
Dad, you've
probably heard by now
I decided to go to college.
I didn't tell you myself
because I was
still pretty upset,
but I'm not anymore.
I realize you didn't fire me
because it wasn't working out.
You did it because
you wanted me to learn
there's more to life
than just "people are shit. "
And I want you to know
that even though
it didn't end great,
it was still
the best summer of my life.
This was the summer
I figured out who I am.
I'm your son.
I love you, dad.
Freddy.
Ever own a Cadillac?
No, I have not.
Well, it's the best car
in the world, new or used.
Can I afford one though?
That is the question.
Well, you let me
worry about that.
Ash Martini.
I'm the owner.
Nice to meet you.
Go on, get in.
See how it fits.
No, no.
I'm actually not ready
to buy a car today.
Eh, you buy, you don't buy.
That's up to you.
I just get excited when I get
a car like this on the lot.
Yeah, I just don't want
to waste your time.
I'm not ready
to buy a car.
Yeah.
Well, come on, no pressure.
Let's uh,
let's take it for a spin.
Ash, what are you doing?
I'm taking this nice gentleman
for a ride in this Deville.
Ah, yeah don't bother.
I got a guy coming
in this afternoon to buy it.
A lawyer from Pasadena.
I'm sorry sir.
I can't sell you the car.
Why don't you
show him the um,
why don't you
show him the Mark?
I'm sorry.
I got a nice Lincoln
I can show you.
No, I actually like this one.
I mean, if it's not for sale,
what's it doing on the lot?
Al? Just a second.
Let me see
what I can do for you.
Were you lost?
I'm sorry.
I should have called.
So you figuring it all out?
All of it? No.
But I did realize
there are worst things
in this world than being
a used car salesman.
Like what?
No idea.
I'd love to stand here
and chat,
but there's
a Cadillac out there
with that gentleman's
name on it.
Go get 'em, tiger.
I'm gonna miss that car.
All right!
I bought us 20 minutes
and we have
to have the car back.
Excellent.
Let's take her out.
Al Klein from Diamond Motors
in beautiful downtown Covina,
and I'm here to tell you
about our three day blow-out.
You come down here
and buy a car from us,
our competition's toast.
Hi folks, Al Klein
with my lovely wife Linda
here at Diamond Motors
and we want to tell you...
Diamonds
are a girl's best friend.
How was that?
- Howdy, folks. Al Klein.
- Ash Martini.
- We're here at Diamond Motors.
- Downtown Covina.
The only thing
we want to do is...
- Sell you a car!
- Sell you a car!
Is that good, Mr. Klein?
Are you sick and tired
of trolling for bargains?
Hi, I'm Ash Martini,
Diamond Motors,
Downtown Covina.
We've got a whole flock
of new cars just came in,
and we want
to sell them to you-
Hi folks, Al Klein,
with my beautiful wife Linda,
here at Diamond Motors.
And we want
to tell you-
Cut it!
Gail,
what are you doing?
I'm trying to save this plant.
Okay.
You're in the shot.
But it's dying!
Oh.
Hey folks, come on down
to Diamond Motors,
'cause here
at Diamond Motors...
We're family.
about my father
and the summer we spent
together many years ago.
It was the summer
that changed my life.
Ah, your love is fading
I feel it fade
Ah, your love is fading
Woman, I feel it fade
Ah, woman,
woman your touch
Your touch has gone cold
As if someone else
controls your very soul
I've fooled myself
long as I can
Can feel the presence
of another man
It's there when you
speak my name
It's just not the same
Ooh, baby
I'm losing you
It's in the air
It's there everywhere
Baby, baby, babe
I'm losing you
And later on in the show,
I'm gonna wash it out
right in front of you
so you can see how it looks.
Burger maker,
the ingenious kitchen gadget
that lets you stuff, stuff,
stuff your way to the best
tasting burgers ever...
Thanks to the upper winds.
The upper wind pattern
right now is warmer
through the middle part
of the country,
right through the
midsection of the U.S.
that'll keep the warm air
coming from the west.
Our temperatures
look above normal,
probably through the beginning
of next week.
You coming to bed?
In a minute.
Are you crying?
No.
Babe, you're crying.
Does weather make you sad?
I don't know what it is.
Everything just
makes me cry lately.
Maybe I have high
blood pressure.
I don't think you have
high blood pressure.
I'm driving
down the street today,
I see this guy bought
his little boy a snow cone,
you know, from the back
of a truck, and...
Hm-hmm.
I start blubbering
like a baby.
I had to pull over.
Maybe you're thinking
about your son.
I mean he's graduating
high school tomorrow.
It's not like
he's going off to war.
No, but
he's getting to that age.
It's an adjustment.
I'll say.
You've been
a great dad to him, Al,
and you always will be.
I have an idea.
Why don't I come over
next weekend and...
I can cook dinner
for the three of us,
and get to finally meet
the legendary Freddy Klein.
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah, maybe?
What am I doing wrong here?
You're not doing
anything wrong.
Then why can't
we be together?
I mean, really together?
Linda, we are.
Come on,
don't, don't do that.
Don't do that.
Who the hell is calling
at this time a night?
Oh, I wonder.
Hello?
Hey, Al.
We have a little situation
here at the lot.
What are you
doing at the lot?
My TV crashed.
I wanted to catch the game.
Anyway,
there's a young man here,
uh... What's your name?
Jason.
- Jason what?
- Sanders.
His name is Jason Sanders.
Any relation
to Phil Sanders of B of A?
No.
Jason here tried to boost
the silver Mustang
we traded in last month.
Luckily, I was here
to catch his felonious ass.
You called the cops?
No, I did not
call the police.
I wanted
to talk to you first.
Well, what do you think?
Well, I don't know yet.
What?
Well, no, I-I don't...
...like the fact
this keeps happening
any more than you do.
Yes.
He is trespassing.
What, you mean
like in the leg?
Wait, wait, Mister.
Let's not get crazy here, okay?
Come on.
He says he'll do anything
to make it right.
I'll be right down.
Put it back,
pretty boy Floyd.
You make me nervous.
We think that Herman's
been washed out to sea.
So what's the problem?
Nothing, all right?
Ash, we gotta
fix that clock.
This is classic.
Am I interrupting anything?
Yeah, Herman's getting the shit
beat out of him tonight.
What's with the gun?
Oh, good, isn't it?
It looks real.
Oh, thank God.
You were here the other day
with your friends.
Yeah.
He was driving a BMW.
What are you doing
trying to steal a car from us?
Mister, I wasn't gonna
keep the car, okay? I swear.
I was just gonna drive it around
for a couple of hours.
Why?
My friends
dared me to do it.
This whole thing
was just a... goof.
It's a goof.
My son goofed like that,
I'd put my foot up his ass.
You ever been
to prison, Jason?
No.
Let me see your wallet.
All right, I don't
have any money.
Call the police.
Okay, here you go.
Who's Dr. William Sanders?
He's my father.
Mr. Martini,
call in a $6,500 approval
while I do
Mr. Sanders' paperwork.
I-I'm sorry, what?
$6,500?
That's a very good price.
Ah, you know, I got a soft spot
for troubled youth.
You-you guys can't do this.
This is my father's
credit card.
I-I'm not allowed to use it
except for emergencies.
Mr. Sanders, if you do not
consider grand theft auto
an emergency then you live
one wild life.
This is gonna bring you
and your father
much closer together.
It-it-it really will.
Trust me.
Yeah, I'd like an
authorization, please.
I'm sorry, what exactly
are you guys doing?
Selling you a car.
Is that exhaust system
under warranty?
Not that I'm aware of.
What time we gotta be
at graduation tomorrow?
Should I wear
like a sports coat? Suit?
What, I got-
I gotta dress you now?
You can wear
whatever you want.
You know what I realize
about you after all these years?
You got a lousy disposition.
Let's go to Casa Rio,
grab a drink.
Good night, Ash.
It's ladies night.
Good sale.
Yes, it was.
Why do they want him
to sleep outside in a tent?
- This, I do not understand.
- Pete, Pete, Pete.
They're Scouts.
That's what Boy Scouts do.
They go camping.
Why?
There's no bathroom.
There are snakes over there.
Costa! Hey!
don't get me the...
Come on!
Hey, come on, guys,
let's go. Chop, chop!
We got people waiting
to get to work here.
I like your pocket thingy.
Yes, it's uh,
it's what I like to call
"the finishing touch. "
I just got this one in,
less than 30,000 miles on it,
mint condition.
A new paint job.
If you have any questions,
don't be afraid to ask.
My name is Al.
I'm one of the owners.
You deal with me directly.
Yes, they do.
He's not eating, mother.
There's something wrong
with him!
No, I don't want to wait
until the weekend.
I can't.
Will you please just take him
to the vet this afternoon?
- Emergency.
- Ugh!
Yes, I will re...
I will reimburse you.
I am, I know I still owe you
for the marshmallows.
Just please...
Diamond Motors.
I've got to go!
I'm so sorry
about that, Mr. Martini.
Oh, I made those cookies
for you and Mr. Klein,
and they're sugar free.
Did you process the uh,
paperwork I left on your desk
last night?
Oh!
Uh, you left paperwork?
Well...
The Mustang?
We sold it last night.
I didn't,
I didn't see anything.
It's uh,
it would be right here.
I don't use my inbox.
I'm afraid I would
rely on it too much.
Just process the car, Gail.
- Okay.
- Thanks.
- Mr. Martini?
- Yeah?
Do you think
that I might be able to leave
a little bit early today
because I think
my cat might be dying?
No.
- May I sit in, please?
- By all means.
Al!
Al, Al, Al, Al!
Hey, what are you doing?
I'm showing
these nice people a car.
No, no, no, no,
I-I got someone coming by
this afternoon to buy it.
Who?
It-it-it's a doctor
from Beverly Hills.
I'm sorry, folks.
I can't sell you the car.
Why not?
Did this doctor
leave a deposit?
No.
Well, did he sign anything?
- Al, he really wants the car.
- Ash.
I...
Come on.
I-I'm sorry.
A little oil
will fix that right up.
That's nothing.
Slide on in there.
Can I start the engine,
please?
Sorry?
Can I start the engine?
Yes, by all means.
There you go.
May I?
This is nothing.
It's just a loose wire.
Barlow!
I'm gonna have my mechanic
take a look at it.
And I guarantee you,
he's gonna fix this up
in about two minutes' time.
Barlow, I think we have
a little ignition issue here.
Can you take a look?
It'll just
take a second, folks.
I thought you told me
this car's ready to roll?
Well, no.
Have you been drinking?
Yes, Mr. Klein, I have.
It's ten in the morning.
What's going on?
I come to my house last night
and my wife is not there.
She goes to her mother
And she says I don't
make her happy no more.
Shh, okay.
Look, I understand
that you're upset.
But we can't do anything
about your wife at this moment.
Would you agree with that?
Barlow. Barlow.
You can't do this right now.
You gotta pull
yourself together.
Barlow, you ca...
Figured it out.
Just what I thought.
It's a, it's a loose wire.
We'll have it done in a second.
Listen to me.
Sometimes things break down,
right?
It happens.
Right?
And we just don't
sit around and mope.
We fix them.
You're a fixer.
Now if you can
get this car to run,
you can get your wife back.
You really think so?
I know so.
Come on.
Try it now.
Try it now.
There we go!
A loose wire,
just like I thought.
Cash!
She pulls out a stack
of hundreds this thick.
Outstanding.
What'd we clear
on that car, a G?
Uh, a little less.
I had to throw
in some floor mats,
which we're out of so call
Jerry.
I'll call Jerry.
So uh, guess what I got
the kid for graduation?
I don't know.
A bond.
A bond?
Yeah, a bond.
A bond.
What?
Nothing. It's terrific.
I'm sure he'll love it.
Well, what did you get him?
Just this.
I had it engraved.
It's nice.
Is that a Rolex?
No it's not a Rolex.
Why are you
busting my stones?
Why are you
busting my stones?
Now I feel bad about
buying the kid a bond.
Don't feel bad about it.
I'm sure it'll mature
when he's 80.
He'll be able to buy
medication with it. A cane.
New teeth.
Hey, cowboy, slow down, man.
We got time.
one high school
graduation in my life.
I am not gonna be late.
Excuse me, miss?
Where's everybody going?
The graduation's over.
No it's not.
It starts at noon.
It started at nine.
Al.
What?
Come on.
I still can't believe
she lets that one drink
monkey put his hand up
her skirt.
Al, how are you?
- Hi, Chicky.
- Martini.
Where's Fred?
Where were you?
We were in the back.
Were you really here?
Would I miss my only kid's
high school graduation?
We were here, Barb.
Wasn't it wonderful
seeing him get his diploma?
It was incredible.
Well, I gotta get back
to the office, so...
I'm not rushing
out of here, Chick.
If you want to go, go.
If you want to stay,
I'll stay.
So where's Fred?
With his friends.
His graduation.
Still hustling cars
out there in the valley?
Yeah, we're in Covina.
Don't play this game, Al.
What game is that?
You're a Century City
stockbroker,
bilking old ladies out
of their piggy bank money.
First of all,
I don't bilk anyone.
Second of all,
I'm a venture capitalist,
not a stockbroker.
- You're a stockbroker.
- Al.
- You're an idiot.
- Ash, shut up.
- Nice pinky ring.
- Who are you?
- Who are you?
- What are you?
There he is.
- Dad.
- Hey. Hey, Hey.
Hey, Hey, you made it.
You made it!
Buddy boy!
Where were you guys?
I didn't see you anywhere.
- We were in the back.
- Congratulations.
- Look at that.
- Oh, thank you, Martini.
- Hm-hmm.
- Well, let's open that later.
I want a kiss.
Mmm!
Here you go, Fred.
Congratulations.
It's from your mother and me.
Whoa!
It's a Julian Jacquard,
the finest watch in the world.
Oh, it's unreal.
It's what a Rolex
wants to be when it grows up.
Eh?
Yeah.
Thanks, mom.
Well, it was Chick's idea.
I thought it was
a little much.
He deserves it.
He did great.
- You did great, Fred.
- Thanks.
Could you take a picture
of the three of us?
Uh, which three?
Yeah.
All right, big smiles everybody.
Come on, Chicky, smile.
Don't act like you have
a pinecone up your ass.
Just take the picture
all right?
There you go.
There you go.
Al?
Would you like a photo?
Yeah, that would be great.
- Hey, Martini.
- What?
- Get in here.
- What, you sure?
Yeah, all right.
Yeah, come on.
Yeah, you and me.
- What's this?
- Try it on.
Let me wear that.
All right.
You uh, you been laid yet?
I think so.
What does that mean?
- I don't know.
- Oh, you'll know.
Smile!
Rabbi Mendelsohn,
how are you?
Oh, our mistake.
A shaygetz who eats
creamed herring.
What's the world coming to?
Well, that's what they
feed them on the farm.
Can you be Amish and Jewish?
I don't know.
Anyway, judgment
came up on the TRW.
Lou's not gonna do the deal
unless he can slice
20 percent off the top.
- He's nuts.
- What'd you do?
It's the only game in town.
I took the deal.
You have a vagina, right?
She's at her mother's.
Nice!
Hey, Martini,
what's with quiet boy over here?
He's fine.
- Cheeseburger to go, please.
- Hey, easy.
Go shoot up yourself, Lennie.
With what?
I'll bring you a bologna.
It might be big enough.
And pour some
coleslaw on that.
A bologna and coleslaw
for the assholes.
Hello?
Hey, it's me.
Freddy's not back yet, Al.
Yeah, I'm not, I'm not
looking for Freddy.
Is everything all right?
You sure looked
pretty today, Barb.
Thank you, Al.
Let's have dinner tonight.
Mr. Klein,
I am Mrs. Barnett.
Come on. Come on.
Come on, we'll go downtown.
I'll break out my silk shirt,
you put on your high heels,
we'll have a great time.
Well, that's a hell of an offer,
but Chick really
hates it when I date.
It's no date.
Come on.
My son just
graduated high school.
We need to talk
about his future.
Look, my other line
is ringing.
So let it ring.
I have to go.
If it's important,
they'll call back.
Why are you
doing this to me?
Why did you call, Al?
Does Chick still tell you
how pretty you look?
I'm sorry, Barb.
I shouldn't have called.
It was a dumb... idea.
Freddy?
Freddy?
Hey, dad.
Graduate.
Hey, I'm glad you're here.
What's up?
Uh, I wanted to talk to you
about something.
Anything wrong?
I don't want
to go to Cal Poly.
Okay.
Where do you want to go?
I want to work
at the car lot.
And do what?
Are you gonna follow Barlow
around with a wrench?
I want to be a salesman.
Okay.
I'm listening.
Didn't you always
tell me that,
you know, what you need
to get by in this world
you don't learn from a book?
I did.
Yeah, well I'm sick of school
and I want to live
in the real world.
Don't they like college degrees
in the real world?
Not always.
You know, it depends on
what you do.
- Is that a fact?
- Hm-hmm.
You talk to your mother
about this?
No, I wanted
to talk to you first.
So?
What do you think?
Uh, I think I'm gonna
make me a sandwich.
I'm serious, dad.
I guess I just always assumed
that you would go to college
bigger and better
than what I did.
Well, I thought
you did great, dad.
I'd be proud if I grew up
to be like you.
I was thinking maybe
I could move in with you.
We could make up
for a lot of lost time.
Well, look...
Even if I do say yes,
your mom's not gonna
go along with this.
I mean she hates,
with the white hot
intensity of a thousand suns,
hates what I do for a living.
I don't care.
This is what I want
to do, okay?
And I'm gonna tell her tonight
if you say yes.
Come on, dad.
One little yes.
That's all it takes.
Yeah?
If you think
that I'm going to let our son
throw away his life
to become a peddler,
well, it's not
gonna happen, Al.
- I...
- Barb.
Chick, here.
You talk to him.
I don't wanna talk to Chick.
Oh, please don't put me
in the middle.
Al, if the kid wants a job,
he can come
and work for me.
That's not the point.
Blow it out your ass, Chick.
What?
He wants me
to blow it out my ass.
Barb.
It's not a good idea.
Been here for 16 years, Al.
You might wanna unpack
some of this stuff.
What are you talking about?
you buy a used car
from Diamond Motors.
Very nice.
Hey, how would you
like a fore ply mop?
I'm good.
Still angry?
Just tired.
Hm-hmm.
I may have been
a little upset last night.
Yeah.
Look, so you know, I didn't say
yea or boo to him.
I said it's his life and
whatever he wanted
to do, it's fine.
He just had
to have your support.
Come on.
Buy an old nag
some breakfast.
Sure.
Where's the old nag?
I always said it.
you're the best salesman
in town, Klein.
I never heard you say that.
Thanks.
The soup today
is the spiced pumpkin.
Thank you.
How'd you find this place?
The food's good, Al.
You'll like it.
I guess my world's
pretty small, isn't it?
Well, there is life
beyond the deli,
if you ever
care to venture out.
Ready to order?
Yes, I'll have the caf latte
and an almond croissant.
And for you, sir?
These are eggs?
Yes, they're baked in anisette
with a very light
tomato puree on top.
Ah.
Okay, I'll have the eggs.
Uh, but instead of baking them,
just scramble them up,
nothing on top, rye toast,
a cup of coffee.
Sure.
I like this place.
I'm glad.
What are we gonna do
about our son, Al?
Meaning what?
Don't get defensive.
I didn't come here
to fight with you.
I'm not defensive.
I'm listening.
I just feel it's important,
at this point,
I mean,
he's still a teenager.
It's important to steer him
clear of disaster if possible.
And by disaster, you mean
working with his father?
No, look, I think it'd be great
if he came to work with you
in the summer or during
Christmas vacation, but...
I want him
to go to college.
It's important.
I mean, don't you
want that too?
I want you to know...
it means a lot to me
that we can sit down
and talk like this
without raised horses.
It means that we do have
Freddy's best interest at heart,
but we also both know that
I still have feelings for you,
and I get the sense that
you're trying to take
advantage of that.
I don't like it.
Oh, Jesus, Al.
What is not in our
son's best interest
is for him to throw away his
education to hustle used cars.
Did you rehearse
that one with Chick?
It's got his ring to it.
If I were you, I would
leave Chick out of this.
Gladly. Look, the kid
doesn't want to go to college.
What are we supposed to do?
Force him?
No, but I'm certainly not
going to make it easy for him
by giving him free room
and board and a dead end job.
I see these kids
who go to college.
They smoke dope,
they drink beer,
they screw each other
for four years
on their parents' dime.
You want to talk about
having it easy?
That is not Freddy.
I know. He wants to work.
That's good.
I'm sure god is just having
one big old belly laugh
right now.
I did everything that I could
to make sure that
he had stability
in his life.
And what does he do?
Decides to become
a car salesman.
That's...
That's just perfect.
Look Barb, 18-year-olds
decide a lot of things.
It's up for review
every other day.
If he ends up like you, Al,
I will hang myself.
I really will.
No offense.
No.
But people care about
what they put
into their bodies, Pete.
It's not just me.
I mean, I think you'd get
a whole lot more customers
if you had
a wider variety of things,
like legumes, root vegetables,
stuff like that.
Grain.
Keep that in mind, Pete.
Legumes and root vegetables.
No, I'm serious.
I think if you provided like
a healthy option for people,
it would be really good
for your business.
Where you been?
Ugh, yeah.
Freddy doesn't want
to go to college.
Eh, who needs college?
You think?
Because he wants
to work here.
It could be good
for him, right?
Real life experience,
stuff like that?
Sure.
What's the ex think?
Wow.
What do you think?
Hey, as long as
he earns, I...
Absolutely, no hand-outs.
Yeah.
I'm all for it.
I love the kid.
You know that.
Okay.
You know
what the best part is?
He's gonna live with me.
After all these years.
It's great, right?
That's super.
It's super, Al.
It is super.
Thank you.
I cannot tell you
how disappointed I am.
I cannot tell you.
Well, then don't.
Watch your mouth, son.
I'm not your son.
Listen to me, Freddy.
You don't get these
years back,
being 18, going to college,
having no responsibilities.
It's a great time
in your life.
Yeah, I can't wait.
Yeah.
Dip shit fraternity guys,
football games... Rah-rah!
I can't wait, Mom,
it's gonna be fun.
Just out of curiosity, Fred,
what's it gonna be like
working at a used car lot?
I'm gonna learn how to sell.
From your dad?
That's right.
Hm.
Alberta, this meat's
a little rare.
Ah, sorry, Mr. Barnett.
Just put it back on the grill
for just a minute.
Yes, sir.
Take a look around, Fred.
This house, the things in it,
a view of the ocean.
Pretty nice, isn't it?
Chic.
What? He's old enough
to handle some straight talk.
If he isn't,
he needs to learn.
How 'bout your dad?
Does he have
any of these things?
If I'm not mistaken,
he's still living in a shoebox
out there in the valley,
right?
Pretty pathetic for a man
his age, don't you think?
He did not mean that.
I promise you,
he did not mean that.
You know,
I'll never understand
why you traded dad
for this jerk.
I don't care how many
nice things he buys you.
What is that?
It's a Chevy Impala
with a 350 small block.
Wrong.
Is that a smaller engine?
No, that's a 350.
It's definitely an Impala.
Well, then
why are you wrong?
I-I don't know.
Come on, buddy boy.
What is that?
Uh, it's a-a car?
I don't, I don't know
what you want me to say.
Well, yeah, it's a car,
but what else is it?
What else?
That's a story.
- It's got four doors.
- It's great for car pools.
Two thousand pounds
of metal surrounding you.
Very safe
for the little ones.
Yep.
It's made in America.
Buy this car.
Be a patriot.
Made in Japan?
More bang for your buck.
Okay, all right, I get it.
So tell us.
What is it?
It's a place to take your girl
if you live with your parents.
Put a little tuck and roll
on your ass.
We're not selling
valves and pistons.
We're selling a better life.
Buy this car, you get laid.
You get respect.
At a price you can afford.
But what if
I can't afford it?
Sir, I'm glad
you asked me that.
With no money down,
you can drive this car
off the lot today.
You don't pay a penny
'til January.
Wow, I'll take it.
You getting this, kid?
Yeah, I think so.
Al.
I like it.
Huh? What? Like what?
What are we liking here?
What's going on?
That one's not
for you there, amigo.
You can't afford that one.
Keep going.
- Going?
- Keep going.
Going where?
Where's he going?
What's happening?
Settle.
There you go.
There you are.
Park Avenue deal.
That's the car for you.
Where's Martini going?
You have to be able
to size up a customer
in the first ten seconds.
- How do you do that?
- From the outside in.
What's he wearing?
He's got brown pants.
Hm-hmm.
With stains on them.
He's a slob.
What else?
Uh, t-shirt, tennis shoes.
Yeah, it's probably
got holes in 'em.
What is that in your ear?
Not a big spender, is he?
Al, when was the last time
he took a shower?
A shower?
What... Wait, what?
Tuesday.
How would you know that?
'Cause Tuesday's
the first of the month.
That's when government
checks come out.
This guy clearly
doesn't have a job.
He's gaming the system.
Showered, got dressed,
took the check to the bank,
cashed it, went down
to the two-four poker tables
in Gardenia
where he has been ever since.
Where he made a few bucks.
He sold his last one
to pay off his gambling debts.
This yutz couldn't get
credit from his mother.
Strictly a cash deal.
What are you doing?
What?
I can't hear you.
What is happening right now?
- You're buying a car.
- I'm buying a car?
- You're buying this car.
- What?
Yeah, this one's got the uh
fuel-injected 3.8.
I'm just looking, pal.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
What'd you say?
I said I'm just looking.
Well, you look all you want.
Uh, new headers,
new gauges, new air shocks.
This baby's clean.
Does she have a warranty?
I'm sorry.
What?
Warranty?
Does this vehicle
have a warranty?
Oh, well, hey,
you could buy one.
But it's a Buick Park Avenue.
A war horse.
Comfortable, huh?
How much?
I'm sorry, say again?
How much?
What's the price
of this vehicle?
Oh, uh, you know, I uh,
I don't even know
what he's got it marked at.
Al!
How much
for the Park Avenue?
Uh, $4,200.
$2,200.
So, just to be clear, um,
$2,200 gets me this car?
I don't know.
Make me an offer.
We'll see.
$2,200?
Great!
Let's go write it up.
You know what,
do you mind if we just
bypass all that
wrist business.
I was just kind of hoping
I could just give you the cash
and you give me the pinks
and I could just
take off, you know?
I'm just
kind of in a rush, so...
Oh.
Well, usually I clean
the cars up for the customers.
Not even necessary.
No?
No.
You got a deal.
Let's make a deal.
Our cost on that car
was $900 bucks.
Is that even legal?
What do you mean legal?
It's what we do.
He got himself a good car
and we made a profit.
Everybody's happy.
What's you're reading?
A car magazine.
I'm just trying to get
a feel for everything.
What kind of feel?
Well, I'm just worried,
you know, like,
what if a customer asks me
a question about the car
I can't answer?
So you ask Barlow.
I hope I can do this.
Trust me, you can.
It's not brain surgery.
Well, you just
small talk with the customer.
You get him to like you.
Ask about their kids,
their favorite sports team.
You know, I watch you
and Martini out there.
The stuff you come up with,
it's like you're speaking
a foreign language.
We've been doing
it a long time.
I mean you guys
are like geniuses.
Trust me, we're not.
We're hungry.
We close deals
or we don't eat.
You coming to bed?
Oh, yeah.
- Dad?
- Hm-hmm?
Where'd you get
all these paintings?
A friend of mine
helped me pick them out.
Hm, friend.
What's her name?
Linda.
When am I gonna meet
your friend, Linda?
Hm.
Good night.
Hey, dad?
Why did you and mom
get divorced?
Anytime I ask her,
she always pretends
she doesn't hear me.
Maybe you should
stop asking her.
Come on, dad.
I'm 18 years old.
I can handle it.
You know, I was the only kid
in my-my school
that didn't know
why their parents split up?
Sit down.
Um...
Okay.
After your mom
and I got married,
Martini and I bought
Diamond Motors.
The first few years
were pretty tough.
You know, I mean
there would be days,
sometimes weeks where we
wouldn't even sell a single car.
And that made
your mom very nervous,
not knowing when
the next dollar was coming in
or even if there was
a next dollar.
It's the life
of a salesman, you know?
It's not for everybody.
Anyway, you were born,
happiest day of my life,
and you know,
things were just really bad.
So your mom
had to go out
and get a part-time job.
Whoa, mom worked?
Wha-
Come on.
Just tell me.
So she got hired
as a personal assistant
to a man named Chick Barnett.
And it didn't take him long
to fall in love with her.
She was a very
beautiful woman.
She still is a very
beautiful woman.
What, she had an affair?
And chose Chick?
No.
Listen to me.
She chose you.
Your mom just...
She needed security.
She needed stability
and that was just something that
Chick was able
to provide for her
at a time when I couldn't.
So she was able
to stay home with you.
She was able
to take care of you,
send you to the best schools.
How could you defend her
after what she did to you?
Look, I'm not defending her,
but she raised you right
and so I cut her some slack.
I mean, come on, look at you.
You're a masterpiece.
Dad, it's not funny.
It's messed up.
I'm just saying,
it's not all her fault.
How is it not her fault?
She had an affair, dad.
Sometimes
life is complicated, Freddy,
and they're not good guys
and bad guys.
Just is what it is.
You mean,
sometimes it's shitty.
Sometimes
it's really shitty.
Sometimes it's miraculous.
I mean, look at us.
We're living together,
working together.
Who knew?
You okay?
Uh-huh.
I love you.
Me too.
Good night.
Night.
Hello, folks.
How are we doing today?
Hi.
Carlos.
Hi, Maria.
Uh, Barlow, aqui.
Barlow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Carlos, Maria.
Barlow.
Cool hat.
Do you have any children?
Whom you talking about?
Kids.
Well, I'm Freddy.
Uh, I'm around
if you need me.
Just holler at me.
Cool.
Hey, bro,
are you buying a car?
It's a great shirt.
Hawaii, right?
I got one, too.
I got it at the mall.
You get it at the mall?
You know, I think this might
be a little big for you two.
You two are meant
for each other.
You like the car, huh?
Can I get your number?
Papito!
Mi amor.
Ma'am, if you
buy this car today,
I am gonna throw
in an 8 by 10 color glossy
of my partner, Al,
sitting by the pool
in a Speedo at Caesar's Palace.
And if you don't
buy this car today,
same photo, same Speedo
on my good friend, Ash.
And trust me,
you don't want that.
Same Speedo?
Really?
This one just came in.
Classic, all right?
Are you hungry?
We got, uh, the grill going.
Cool.
Awesome.
Yeah.
Ah.
Well, what do you think?
I like it.
I'm-I'm just not...
Just not what?
I just don't think I'm ready
to buy this truck today.
Well, why not?
I just think I need to think
about it a little more.
You know,
that's probably a good idea.
Oh.
This is a big decision.
You shouldn't buy anything
unless you're absolutely ready.
Well, thank you
for your time young man.
You're welcome, ma'am.
It was very nice meeting you.
It's too bad you're gonna
miss our offer, though.
What um, what-what
offer is that?
Well, we're giving away
a free George Forman Grill
with every car
we sell today.
What model?
Black or platinum?
Platinum, of course.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's do it.
I'll go start up
the paperwork.
I did it!
I did it!
I totally did it.
Congratulations, punk.
You popped your cherry.
Woo!
One, two, three, ooh!
Ooh!
Look at that stinky mess.
This is just to show you
that I don't care
what you're doing.
All right.
And three.
All right, come on I'm in.
Ooh.
How's uh, the shiksa,
the one that works here?
- What's her name again?
- Uh, you mean Gail?
Yeah.
I don't know.
She's fine. Why?
Have you given her
the high hard one yet?
Am I giving her
the high hard-
What is high hard one?
Am I banging her?
Yes, it means banging her.
Why do you say
"the high hard one"?
Check.
- Hey. Hey.
- What do you got?
It's the shtarker!
Uh, this one got pooped on.
Should I...?
- So it looks better.
- You shit on that sign again?
Oh, sorry.
You want me to throw it out?
No.
You clean it.
It's bird shit.
Hey, kid, congratulations.
Old man said
you made your first sale.
Hey,
you're on your way, pal.
Hey, yeah.
Just remember one thing.
People are shit.
- Hm.
- Yeah, that's words to live by.
- Remember that.
- Remember that.
That's wisdom.
That's wisdom.
The only job my son
wants is a blow job.
Freddy wants a blow job, too.
Lennie, blow him.
In a minute.
In a minute.
I'm out.
- All right.
- Ahh.
In five.
- See you, boys.
- Got a lot of red out there.
Where are you going?
I'm gonna take the kid out.
- Where to?
- Where to?
- Casa Rio.
- Ooh!
Bring a rubber.
Kid, just remember
the five Fs,
find 'em, feel 'em,
fuck 'em and forget 'em.
Oh, you idiot.
That's four.
Find 'em...
That's four.
Yeah.
Well what's the fifth?
Finger 'em?
Finger 'em!
I can't believe
you're friends with these guys.
How do you think I feel?
- See you later.
- All right.
Be good.
I fold.
Ooh, you are a class act.
Seriously.
You shouldn't shit on that sign,
though, seriously.
Listen
I wanna tell y'all
Something y'all doing but
You just don't
know it, baby
They are doing it
They're doing it
They're doing it
Yes, they are
I see some future
Mrs. Martinis in here tonight.
The kid'll take a ginger ale.
Were you ever married,
Martini?
I was. Yeah.
Yeah.
I was 19, a long time ago.
What happened?
Well, there's this, uh,
this cute little
Irish Catholic girl
in Clint, Michigan,
Joanne McGraw.
We used to live
with her folks.
Her dad would get drunk
every night and try to kill me.
Why?
I don't know.
It's an Irish thing.
They think everyone's
out to screw 'em.
They're a tough sell.
Speaking of which...
- Yeah, cheers.
- Great sell today.
Hey, your dad's proud of you.
So am I.
I think I can do this.
Think you can?
You did it.
You're a closer.
Yeah, baby.
Okay, so um, well what happened
with the Irish lass?
The Irish lass, yeah.
Well, she came home one night
and told me she was in love
with another man.
What?
God.
God?
She became a medical missionary
and went off to Pakistan.
I think she's still there.
Well, so she's like a nun?
Me and Jesus, the only two men
she ever wanted.
And I got to her first.
Ah, you're B.C.
Hm.
Two balls, two strikes.
One in to the win,
up the back it comes.
It's up there, all right.
It's Linda.
Please leave a message
after the beep.
Hey Linnie, it's me.
How are you, sweetie?
It's been a while.
Uh, just thinking about you
and wanted to wish you
a happy birthday.
I know it's not
until next month,
but why wait until the last
minute?
So... Okay, bye.
So she's just sitting there,
you know?
I don't know what's going on.
I think she's gonna
back out, right?
Bam.
She signs the contract,
hands me the check,
I give her the keys.
I swear to god,
Martini, it was like-
Three o'clock.
Hm?
What, this guy?
Not my three o'clock,
your three o'clock.
Much better.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
You ready?
Am I ready?
For what?
We're gonna go talk to them.
They're a little old for me,
don't you think?
But they're not
a little old for me.
But what if they
don't like us?
Their loss.
Should I talk first
or should you?
Just follow my lead.
Ladies?
I just want to let you know
that I'm a big, big fan.
Me too.
Of?
This whole look.
The hair, the dress.
Just...
stunning.
Really?
Yeah.
Wardrobe says
a lot about a person.
And what does
it say about me?
I'm gonna tell you
in a second.
I'm Ash Martini.
This is young Frederick.
Fred is good.
Just call me Fred.
Can we buy you
ladies a drink?
Sure.
You kidding?
All right, yeah.
- Really?
- You all right, there?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fred here
had a really rough day.
Oh.
Yeah, he's a uh,
he's a fireman.
Yeah, he works for
the fire department,
and uh, they just
put out a big,
huge blaze
down on Long Beach.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Fred single-handedly
rescued three.
It was four...
- Four?
- Yeah.
There-there was a baby.
You saved a baby's life?
I was just doing my job.
Wow.
How long have you
been a fireman?
Oh, I don't know,
just over a year now.
You seem so young.
No.
It's the good genes
I guess, you know?
He works out.
- Me too.
- I can tell.
- Can you?
- Yes I can.
Hello?
Oh, hi Al.
Hey Barb.
Everything all right?
Yeah. Yeah.
Everything's fine.
Can I talk to Freddy?
He's not back yet.
Oh.
Yeah, out, out with friends?
Uh, no.
He went out with Martini.
Okay.
Will you tell him I called?
Will do. Bye.
Where did they go?
Casa Rio.
He went to a sleazy
singles bar with Martini?
It's a restaurant, Barb.
No, I know what Casa Rio is.
It's not an appropriate
place for an 18-year-old boy.
Yeah, I'm not gonna
argue with you about it.
If you want to talk to him,
go right ahead.
No. No.
You're right.
I shouldn't interfere.
This whole thing has
just been so hard on me.
I just can't seem to let go.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Maybe I should talk
to someone about it, you know?
Like a psychologist or...
I think you should talk
about it with your husband?
Yeah.
Well Chick's in London
for the week, so...
Yeah, he didn't
take you with him?
What is that
supposed to mean?
Uh, it's a question.
No, you're trying to dig.
You're just like
a little ferret
trying to dig through the dirt
to come up with something.
Well you can just stop, Al.
Everything's great
between Chick and me.
I'm happy to hear that.
Okay, so I'll tell
Freddy you called.
Well...
How is he?
How is Freddy?
He's-he's doing great.
Does he miss me?
I'm sure he does, yeah.
Well he doesn't call.
I'll have him call you
first thing
in the morning, okay?
Thank you, Al,
for being so patient.
You're a good man.
I thought I was a ferret?
And there really is so much
about you that I like
and admire and...
'm gonna shut up.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Good night.
Good night, Barb.
So what do you think?
I'd want more than 90 days
warranty on a rebuilt engine.
Rebuilt means it's like new.
Ninety's the best I can do.
Not good enough.
With all due respect, sir,
I don't think
you're ready to buy a car.
And that's okay.
You should probably go home
and think about it
a little bit more.
What did you say?
Your game's as good as
your money, pal.
You've practically done
a cavity search on it,
and if you need
someone to convince
you that this is
still a good deal,
in which case you're
wasting both of our time.
I'll tell you what.
If I buy this car
and it breaks down on me
two days
after the warranty expires,
I'll come back
and I'll kick your ass.
Okay.
Then if it doesn't
and you drive it for another
can I come to your place
and kick your ass?
Write it up.
I think it's gonna need
a new transmission, Mr. Freddy.
Look, I don't care
about any of that.
If the car doesn't start,
I can't sell it.
It's real simple, Barlow.
I'm sorry, Mr. Freddy.
It won't happen again.
Yeah, it better not.
What was that about?
The Pinto stalls every time
you try to take it
out for a test drive.
It's embarrassing.
Barlow can't fix shit.
Barlow's been
with me for 16 years.
He can fix anything.
Respect that.
Cool.
Barlow, fan belt
on the Continental,
please,
when you get a chance?
Thank you.
I want to talk to you about.
Yeah?
Think we should
stay open nights.
We'd sell at least
three more cars a week.
Three? Really?
We do some
slasher sales, you know,
like weekend clearance sales.
I know what a slasher sale is.
We'll move inventory.
You know, it will be
a volume business.
Get more cars
and more on the lot.
We'll borrow money
from the bank.
- I already looked into it.
- Listen to you.
- We're not borrowing money.
- Why not?
Because then you
gotta pay it back.
Well, money's cheap, dad.
Rates are low, you know?
We can also
buy cars from Canada.
With the conversion rate,
we save at least
15 percent of our cost.
Where'd you learn that?
Chick used to talk to me
about that kind of stuff.
Look, all I'm saying is.
We can't grow if we
don't spend money, right?
- We're not looking to grow.
- Well, why not?
Because it took us years
to establish what we got,
it works,
I don't want to get greedy.
Oh, dad,
don't play it so safe.
Let's make some dollars.
Just think about it, all right?
I got this guy.
I love this car.
So he gets out and stands there
with this stupid
little baseball cap
and just stares at the car
for like a full minute,
so I finally say,
"Hey Gomer,
are you a Dodger's fan?
You buy this car right now,
I'll throw in two tickets
behind the first base dugout,
game of your choice. "
Rudy, I swear to god,
it was like I was
offering him pussy.
Good night.
Night.
Bottom line, people are shit.
Yeah, they'll
fall for anything.
We used to have this scam
in Youngstown, Ohio.
We buy a painting,
it could be anything,
like a boat or a landscape.
We would cut it out of
the frame, roll it up,
put it in the trunk of the car
and then we'd drive
to some out of the way
bar or restaurant
and we'd try to get the owner
to come out
and take a look at it.
We had the whole act.
We'd talk to him
real hush-hush.
We'd look
over our shoulder like
we're worried
about the police.
It really made 'em think
the painting was hot.
Look stolen.
And we had to get rid of it.
Yeah, for like
$800, $900 bucks.
How much did the painting
actually cost?
Oh, $50 tops.
- Serious?
- Yeah.
This guy thought
he was buying, like,
a stolen Picasso
for next to nothing?
- That's right.
- People are shit.
Stop saying that.
Hm?
Stop staying
that people are shit.
You don't need
to talk that way.
I didn't mean anything by it.
It just hit me the wrong way.
Freddy!
Tell the boys
about that little honey
you were hitting
on the other night.
Oh yeah? Yeah.
You mean at Casa Rio?
Oh yeah, the kid's
got some moves.
Yeah, she was a babe.
No, she was beyond babe.
She was like.
You all right?
You having a stroke?
Should I call 9-1-1?
I'm just saying.
Yeah that, that sounds good.
Let's make it 6 o'clock
at the latest.
All right, good deal Mikey.
Thanks so much. Bye.
Mr. Klein,
I was just wondering...
You can't go home
early today, Gail.
No.
No, that's not
what I was gonna ask.
Look, I know I've just worked
here for a couple of months
and I'm still sort of
learning the system.
I didn't know
we had a system.
Well, I don't know if you know
that I live with my mother?
You've told me
that many times.
- She's on disability.
- I know.
It's less than
$800 a month...
No, give me a minute.
I'm lying.
It might be a wee
bit more than $800,
but it's definitely
no more than $900 a month.
Is there a question
here, Gail?
Yeah, yes. Yes, there is.
Sorry.
Uh, I just want you to know
that I'm actually going to get
really, really
good at this job.
So, cream and sugar,
just like you like it.
I drink it black.
So, I was just thinking,
what better way
to motivate someone
than by paying them
more than the minimum wage?
Are you asking for a raise?
I suppose
if you had to label it.
- Did you process the Toyota?
- I was just about to do it.
Now would be a good time.
Did you give me the paperwork
for the Toyota?
Yeah.
- The fish keep biting.
- The Chevelle?
- Oh yeah.
- Nicely done.
Sweetheart, run that
woman's credit app for me?
Sweetheart?
I think you'll find
my name is Gail.
She's a feminist?
Come on, Martini
calls you sweetheart.
Well you're not Martini.
Just run the app, would you?
You don't need to be
so rude about it.
The customer is waiting,
"Gail. "
Freddy!
She's a joke, dad.
She can't get
a single thing right.
We don't talk to each other
like that in here.
- What?
- Mr. Klein, it's fine, really.
No it's not.
Let's go outside.
Jesus.
Come on, dad.
I was just trying
to do my job.
You think you're
better than other people
because you sold
a few cars?
- No?
- Well you're right about that.
You're not.
I don't ever
want to see you treat
anybody like that ever again,
do you hear me?
I'm sorry.
And stop
with the big shot act.
It's really pissing me off.
I can't believe
you're getting mad over this.
What do you
want me to do, Freddy,
just sit there
while you act like
a snot-nosed little brat?
Now go in there
and apologize to Gail.
I mean it, Freddy.
Go on in.
Great car!
You're gonna love it.
He'll be right with you.
I guess
it's not ladies night, huh?
It's Taco Tuesday.
What's going on?
Freddy can't
work for us anymore.
Why not?
He's doing great.
Yeah.
He's doing great.
And he's happy.
He's happy, he's doing great.
Okay, I'll bite.
What's the problem?
He's just growing up
too fast, Ash.
He's always been such
a sweet kid and he's changing.
Okay.
That's what they do.
He should be in college
with kids his own age.
He can do better than this.
- What's wrong with this?
- Oh come on, Ash.
We're grown men.
We live alone,
paycheck to paycheck.
What happens
10 years down the road?
Five years?
I don't know.
I don't have a crystal ball.
We pay our bills.
We have a few laughs.
No one gets hurt.
It could be worse.
You could lose your family.
Oh Jesus, Al, really?
Isn't the statute of
limitations
on whining up yet?
This is no life for my son.
Okay.
- So what's the plan?
- Well, we gotta let him go.
- Whoa, whoa, we?
- Well yeah.
If I tell him, he's just
gonna come running to you.
"We" gotta do it together.
And what are we
gonna tell him?
It'll break his heart, Al.
Good morning.
Hey.
Are we okay?
Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
What are you looking at?
Just uh, followed a couple
small cap stocks here.
See what trends
before I jump in.
Trends, huh?
Well, be careful with that.
That's gambling you know.
I'll tell you
what's not gambling...
Investing in your business.
Really?
Marketing, dad.
Marketing?
TV commercials.
Huh?
Now, I got this friend
Alan Gottlieb.
He's a film major at UCLA
He gets to use all their
equipment for free:
cameras, film, everything.
You know, we could shoot
a bunch of
60 second commercials.
It won't even
cost us a penny.
Hm?
We'll see.
Dad, I'm telling you.
This is worth it.
Can we at least talk to Martini
about it when we get in?
- Hey Freddy.
- Hey.
- Gail?
- She'll be in at 10.
Uh, Freddy, sit down.
Let's talk.
About the commercial?
Uh no. Something else.
Go ahead, sit down.
- Ash, you want to sit down?
- No.
- You sure?
- I'm sure.
What's going on?
We gotta make some changes.
All right!
I knew you guys
would come through.
No Freddy,
this is not about that.
Ash and I uh,
penciled out the numbers
and, it's gonna be too tough
to keep you on payroll.
What?
Well it's a
two-man business.
It always has been.
It just we can't afford
to spread it out this thin.
What are you saying?
What I'm saying...
is you can't
work here anymore.
- You're firing me?
- No. It's not like that.
What's it like?
You know, I'm selling cars.
Even Martini said it.
I'm a closer.
Remember you said that to me?
You're selling cars
that we could be selling.
There's just not
enough to go around.
Let's get more, then.
That's what I'm saying.
- That's the way to go, dad!
- That's not gonna happen.
We just can't start
changing things around
to accommodate
one more person.
One more person.
Gee, I'm glad I mean
that much to you.
- You do, Freddy.
- This is bullshit.
Hey, hey, hey,
buddy, buddy,
don't talk to your dad
like that.
This is your father.
Yeah, some good
that does me, huh?
Enough.
This is the way
it's gotta be.
I thought you were my friend.
I am.
So what do I do now?
Huh?
Well, do I still live
with you?
Well, what are you
gonna do all day?
I think it's best that you
move back with your mom.
Um, I don't, uh,
I just don't get it.
What I mean yesterday,
everything was going great
and now I'm out?
What did I do wrong?
Just tell me
and I will apologize.
You didn't do anything wrong.
Is this about the Gail thing?
Is that what this is all about?
It's got nothing
to do with that.
It's just not gonna
work out, Freddy.
I'm sorry.
- You're not sorry.
- I am.
You're not sorry,
you're just cheap.
All right, I get it now.
That's why,
that's why mom divorced you.
You won't even
listen to any of my ideas
on how to make more money.
You're so small time.
I can't believe
you're doing this to me.
All right.
I'm gonna go talk to him.
No, we gotta let him go.
Al, you sure
this is the right thing?
I'm not sure about anything.
Hello?
Yes?
Hey Chick, Al.
Uh, that was me.
I must have gotten, uh,
disconnected or something.
What is it, Al?
Is, uh, Freddy around?
What, you haven't
talked to him?
No, no.
Uh, not for a while.
He reenrolled at Cal Poly.
We uh, took him up
there this past weekend.
Oh!
Good news!
Barb's happy about it.
Yeah, good.
Okay then.
Yeah, Chick, uh,
I don't know if Freddy
told his mother
about why things
didn't work out here,
but just...
let her know
that I did what I-
Just tell her I-
I probably should have
just listened to her
in the first place.
All right.
I will, Al.
That much, she likes
being told she's right.
Yeah.
And one other thing, Chick.
I just wanted to...
I know you taught Freddy
a lot of stuff about...
business and...
and I just wanted
you to know that he uh,
he really took it all in.
He learned
a lot from you so I...
I want to thank you for that.
That's really nice
of you to say, Al.
I appreciate it.
Okay, Chick.
Goodbye.
Got three good ones
for auction there.
Take a look.
Al, you okay?
Yeah.
Freddy decided
to go to Cal Poly.
Left last weekend.
That's good, right?
I mean that's what you wanted.
Except for the fact
that Chick's
the one who told me, yeah.
My own son won't even
talk to me anymore.
What do you expect?
I mean you fired him.
Thanks, Ash.
That helps.
He'll come around.
It's what kids do.
They, you know, they...
Kids.
Let's say you and me,
we go to Casa Rio
and get your mind off
this stuff?
Cocktails...
What's the matter with you?
I mean really, Casa Rio?
Well it's the answer
to a couple good ones.
Get off my ass, man.
I'm just
trying to help out, okay?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'll just...
I'm sorry.
And thanks, Ash.
Is this a bad time?
No, come on in.
What's up?
Barb.
If I end up in hell,
you'll come with me, won't you?
Yeah.
All right.
Wait, wait. Wait.
I'm a little confused here.
Are you leaving your husband?
I don't know.
I haven't thought
that far ahead.
Then you came here...
what to have an affair
or a one night stand?
What the hell
difference does it make?
I'm here, in lingerie.
I'm low hanging fruit,
as Martini used to say.
Right, all of a sudden,
out of the blue,
you're good to go?
Haven't you been
trying to get me
in the sack
for the last 14 years?
- Hm, yeah.
- I'm here.
What's the problem, Al?
Chick.
Chick is the problem, right?
And I think you're forgetting
that I used to be that guy
sitting at home
in the dark going,
"Hey, where
the hell's my wife?"
Well this was a mistake
of epic proportions.
It was.
Why'd you do it?
That's a good question.
Barb, Barb,
I'm serious.
I don't know, Al.
Maybe it was because
to have Freddy here with you
and you made the choice
to put his well-being
ahead of your own.
And that made you,
what, pity me?
Actually, it made me feel
close to you again.
Look, I know
coming here tonight
wasn't the most
noble thing I've ever done,
but I had
these feelings for you and...
I wanted to share them
even if it was only
for a couple hours.
I appreciate that,
Barb, I really do,
but a couple of hours
just wouldn't have been enough.
I hope you know that...
even though it didn't
work out between us...
I always felt connected.
Connected?
You felt connected?
You know what I mean.
Actually I don't.
I know you've never
forgiven me, Al,
and I understand...
but you'll never understand
what it was like for me
night after night
sitting on that couch
in that crappy apartment,
the baby in my arms...
just staring
at the front door
waiting for you
to come home from the lot.
I'd hear you
coming up the stairs
and I'd say a prayer.
"Please God,
let Al have sold a car today. "
The door would open
and you'd look at me with that
apologetic look on your face.
And I knew. No sale.
And I was frightened...
because without money,
you can't feed a baby.
I couldn't sit
and wait and hope
and pray my life
away anymore.
I just couldn't do it, Al.
I couldn't do it.
I'm sorry.
I turned it around,
eventually.
Yeah. You did.
Hey uh, any word from...
anyone?
I'm not really sure
what you mean by "word. "
Calls, phone calls,
specifically from
my partner Al Klein?
I don't know
if you've noticed,
but he hasn't been
around much lately.
I did notice, actually.
Has he been sick?
Yeah, he's uh, he's sick.
He should try eastern medicine.
It's really easy.
You don't even have
to get shots.
I just came in to get
some coffee actually.
You seem sad, Mr. Martini.
Do I?
Yeah.
Dad, you've
probably heard by now
I decided to go to college.
I didn't tell you myself
because I was
still pretty upset,
but I'm not anymore.
I realize you didn't fire me
because it wasn't working out.
You did it because
you wanted me to learn
there's more to life
than just "people are shit. "
And I want you to know
that even though
it didn't end great,
it was still
the best summer of my life.
This was the summer
I figured out who I am.
I'm your son.
I love you, dad.
Freddy.
Ever own a Cadillac?
No, I have not.
Well, it's the best car
in the world, new or used.
Can I afford one though?
That is the question.
Well, you let me
worry about that.
Ash Martini.
I'm the owner.
Nice to meet you.
Go on, get in.
See how it fits.
No, no.
I'm actually not ready
to buy a car today.
Eh, you buy, you don't buy.
That's up to you.
I just get excited when I get
a car like this on the lot.
Yeah, I just don't want
to waste your time.
I'm not ready
to buy a car.
Yeah.
Well, come on, no pressure.
Let's uh,
let's take it for a spin.
Ash, what are you doing?
I'm taking this nice gentleman
for a ride in this Deville.
Ah, yeah don't bother.
I got a guy coming
in this afternoon to buy it.
A lawyer from Pasadena.
I'm sorry sir.
I can't sell you the car.
Why don't you
show him the um,
why don't you
show him the Mark?
I'm sorry.
I got a nice Lincoln
I can show you.
No, I actually like this one.
I mean, if it's not for sale,
what's it doing on the lot?
Al? Just a second.
Let me see
what I can do for you.
Were you lost?
I'm sorry.
I should have called.
So you figuring it all out?
All of it? No.
But I did realize
there are worst things
in this world than being
a used car salesman.
Like what?
No idea.
I'd love to stand here
and chat,
but there's
a Cadillac out there
with that gentleman's
name on it.
Go get 'em, tiger.
I'm gonna miss that car.
All right!
I bought us 20 minutes
and we have
to have the car back.
Excellent.
Let's take her out.
Al Klein from Diamond Motors
in beautiful downtown Covina,
and I'm here to tell you
about our three day blow-out.
You come down here
and buy a car from us,
our competition's toast.
Hi folks, Al Klein
with my lovely wife Linda
here at Diamond Motors
and we want to tell you...
Diamonds
are a girl's best friend.
How was that?
- Howdy, folks. Al Klein.
- Ash Martini.
- We're here at Diamond Motors.
- Downtown Covina.
The only thing
we want to do is...
- Sell you a car!
- Sell you a car!
Is that good, Mr. Klein?
Are you sick and tired
of trolling for bargains?
Hi, I'm Ash Martini,
Diamond Motors,
Downtown Covina.
We've got a whole flock
of new cars just came in,
and we want
to sell them to you-
Hi folks, Al Klein,
with my beautiful wife Linda,
here at Diamond Motors.
And we want
to tell you-
Cut it!
Gail,
what are you doing?
I'm trying to save this plant.
Okay.
You're in the shot.
But it's dying!
Oh.
Hey folks, come on down
to Diamond Motors,
'cause here
at Diamond Motors...
We're family.