Snow Day (2000) Movie Script
(BOY) This is where it begins.
Two atoms of hydrogen bond with
a single atom of oxygen to form H20,
otherwise known as water.
Then, if all goes well, the
temperature drops below freezing,
the water crystallises
and a pretty brilliant thing happens.
lf you ask me, the miracle isn't how
each snowflake is perfectly formed.
The real winter miracle is
what can happen afterwards.
lt's called a ''snow day''.
lt's a day kids live for.
Schools close, roads disappear,
grown men weep.
My sister Natalie says
anything can happen on a snow day.
This is the story
of one of those days.
A day that changed the lives of me
and my family...forever.
(SPEAKS HAWAllAN)
ln Hawaiian that means,
"the hands tell a story".
And these hands are saying,
"happy sunny funtime" ,
as more warm weather wiggles its way
into our area. Back to you, Phyllis.
Hot weather, a hot body.
What more can you ask for?
Mahuuna aui!
Next a story of a man
who sued himself and won!
- "Mahuuna aui?"
- lt means kiss my butt.
- You were great.
- l'm a meteorologist, Tina.
Last time l checked,
meteorologists wore pants!
Last time l checked, we were number
three in a three station market.
Therefore, wear the skirt
or hit the bricks.
Tom, l know this is hard on your dignity,
but unless we beat Chad Symmonz...
..we're stuck.
Climb aboard as we dip down
underneath the clouds
for our exclusive Channel 1 0
3-D Dopeler radar.
lt's Doppler radar, you moron.
From top to the bottom,
from the side to the side.
lf you wanna wear pants,
get Symmonz's ratings.
Take a look at that.
Right here in Syracuse
we're gonna be rockin' the old Casbah
with...woah...sixty degrees.
We were in the middle of one of
those freakishly warm winters
that are pretty popular among...
well, freaks.
Oh, yeah.
Meet Principal Ken Weaver,
the man who was number one
on every kid's winter hit parade.
Man-oh-man of La Mancha!
You hit Principal Weaver!
ls that the best you got? ls it?
Well, how about this?
# Oh, there's no snow for you
Oh, there's no snow for you
# Nothing but blue skies for me.
Are you going to school... #
Guy's getting way too cocky.
Look, he's rubbing our faces in it.
l'm an isosceles triangle!
Big target! Come on!
That clam dip's gotta learn that
winter's not over until we say it's over.
Quick, let's reload.
This man's asking for it.
That's it from last year's stash.
l guess we're out until it snows again.
lf it snows.
lt'll snow.
While my sister Natalie worried about
the fate of an entire season,
l had my mind on
more important things.
Her name was Claire Bonner.
Was l obsessed?
Let's say l know the exact number
of times she blinks per minute.
lnteresting.
That dive told me that
she's looking for a new love in her life.
You know, someone bold, fresh...sexy.
Hal, Claire Bonner wouldn't spit on you
if your hair was on fire.
To people like her,
people like you are invisible.
So you guys think l'm invisible?
Then, l guess she won't see me
when l do this.
All right, so l'm invisible.
The day will come when Claire will see
what she's been missing.
She saw what she was missing.
Me, Hal Brandston, Mr Smooth.
My original idea was to stay
underwater until l died,
but luckily the deep end
had other plans for me.
lt was destiny.
Dude, give her the bracelet.
This is your big chance.
l'm just waiting for the right moment.
Hey, babe. Hop in,
everyone's waiting for us at the diner.
- Go away.
- Claire bear.
You don't return my calls.
You won't talk to me.
- l needed some time to think.
- What is there to think about?
You're Claire Bonner and l'm Chuck
Wheeler. America's dream team.
Not any more.
What are you looking at?!
You have defied the mighty Meltar
for the last time.
Prepare to taste
the flame of justice, Freon.
How many times must l tell you?
lt's Doctor Freon! Doctor!
- Natalie?
- Hey, Fangor.
You came just in time. Glad you're here!
What have l told you about
playing with these? They're collectibles.
lt would seem that your brother
is something of a Nimrod, is he not?
- That's enough from you, Mr Freon.
- That's Doctor Freon. Doctor.
Seriously,
hands off the merchandise, okay?
lf l'm gonna sell these,
l've got to keep them mint.
- Sell them? You can't split us up.
- Teams split up all the time. lt happens.
- Who will defend the universe?
- The universe will be just fine.
No, it won't .
- Dad, is it ever gonna snow?
- Aw...
l don't know, sweetheart.
lt's been tough lately.
- Last year it was El Nio, this year...
- El Sucko.
El Sucko, yeah.
Randall, is that the way
we eat soup in this house?
No, l'm sorry.
He wants to swim with the sharks,
he's gonna lose a little blood.
Yes, l know that's what...
l gotta go.
l know, l'm late again. l'm sorry.
- l'm a terrible mother, l know.
- Right again.
But l know that in your hearts
you'll find a way to forgive me.
And you are?
- Randy, call security!
- Yes, sir.
That's funny. Very funny.
- So, what did l miss?
- l can fit my fist in my mouth.
- Show Mum.
- Wow.
That's dandy, honey.
That's wonderful! That's cool.
(CELLPHONE RlNGS )
This dollar is yours if you let it ring.
Please. Easiest buck
l ever made in my life.
Oh, brother.
(PHONE STlLL RlNGlNG )
- So, how was everybody's day?
- Good.
l'll be back in just a second! Talk to me.
l guess that phone call
must've been important.
# l've been waiting
for a girl like you
# To come into my life
# l've been waiting
for a girl like you
# Your loving will survive... #
What are you doing?
l didn't say you could come in my room.
Just get out of my room!
Hi, Nats. Anything out there?
l think so. lt's getting colder out.
The needle moved.
That it has. Maybe we've got
a little low pressure heading our way.
l'm going out.
- Good.
- Why good?
- He's been acting all weird lately.
- He has a lot on his mind.
You know, girls and...
Pretty much mostly girls.
- lt that why he has an ankle bracelet?
- Could be. Could be.
Boys Hal's age like to experiment...
Did you say ankle bracelet?
Well... lt's perfectly normal.
Oh, l forgot. l brought you something.
Mum gave me this when l started out
at the station. A good luck charm.
Maybe it'll work better for you.
Cool! Thanks.
Could you guys help me?
lt's stuck.
You get the head, l get the crowbar.
Don't tell me you don't see a pattern.
The bracelet, the break up...
The fact that we're both
big fans of whales.
- Whales?
- Yeah.
- Gentle giants. What's not to love?
- Exactly.
Hal, you're starting to scare me.
lf you wanna go out,
why don't you go with Patty Krone?
For some reason
she thinks you're cute.
l can't go out with a leg jiggler. Besides,
this thing with Claire is destiny.
- Are you catching any of this?
- Oh, yeah.
All right, you want proof?
Well, this is it.
Okay, here we go.
Breathe, breathe.
Easy, easy, nice and easy.
Who's the man?
You're the man. Come on.
Let's go. Keep it moving.
Well, here l come, baby.
Large and in charge, and totally...
..invisible.
l wish it was this easy.
What are you doing? Daydreaming?
- Just catching snowflakes.
- Did they taste good? lt's getting late.
Come on, scoot down.
Tomorrow is a school day.
- Don't rub it in.
- Love you. Sweet dreams.
You're on in two minutes, Mr Sunshine.
Oh... That's not supposed to be there.
That can't be right.
Can it?
Snow! And lots of it, folks.
This one almost caught us by surprise,
but we were right on top of it.
A fast-moving little system
coming down from Canada,
colliding with the warm flow
we've been experiencing...
Snow! !
Last night's record snowfall
grinding the area to a halt...
The following are closed for today:
Titan Tool & Dye,
the Carousel Mall...
..the Health Farm,
Fromlin's Corduroy Shop...
..and finally,
the weekly poker game at my house.
That concludes
the list of closings for today.
No, they can't do this to us.
Oh, and, l forgot one.
All schools are officially closed
for a snow day.
No school, no school, no school!
- Snow day...
- Snow day!
Snow day, snow day, snow day!
Anything can happen, Hal.
Oh, no...
No matter how brave
you thought you were,
just hearing his name could make
you wish you lived in Florida.
Snowploughman!
To adults, he's just a creepy guy with
a plough named ''Darling Clementine'',
but to us he's a snow day assassin.
A man in serious need
of a good flossing.
Legend has it his tyre chains
are made from the braces of kids
who didn't get out of his way.
They say the only thing he loves
is his bird, Trudy.
Run for your lives!
- l really don't like him.
- He's not a fun guy.
He's gotta be stopped.
What do you say, Hal?
This was gonna be the year. The prize,
the legendary "Second Snow Day".
Think of it, Hal. Two in a row.
We've never had two in a row before.
Sorry, but there's something l gotta do.
- Claire Bonner. Who's she?
- Just this girl. You don't know her.
Wait a second. You're gonna waste
a snow day on some girl?
Look. Tomorrow everything
goes back to normal,
and l'll be one of a million guys wishing
Claire Bonner was their girlfriend.
But today, maybe l can change that.
- But we're a team.
- And we always will be.
- But l gotta go solo today, all right?
- That's okay. l don't need you anyway.
- There's no way l can stay home.
- lt's not about giving you a break.
Okay, that's a good idea.
We'll leave Randy here by himself.
Briefcase, check.
Commuter mug, check.
Lucky Troll doll, check.
Look out, Asian carbonated beverage
market. Here comes trouble.
Don't worry, Mum.
There'll be other work days.
Mum may have lost a chance
to swim with the sharks,
but at least
she gained a little quality time.
Okay, clean Mummy's clothes. Okay.
As for me...l stood on the threshold
of a brave new world.
Winter Wonderland, my butt...
- Hey, beautiful day, isn't it?
- Give me a break!
"Neither rain nor sleet nor..."
What's the last one, Mr Hebert?
Everybody makes fun of the mailman.
Oh, great. That's just great.
Well, at least
l can see the outline of my car.
My own little blue car.
Today is really, really...shaping up.
(SlNGLE WHlSTLE)
(WHlSTLE)
lf you kids think...
..because l'm not...
You kids wanna play rough?
l invented rough!
Must muster the courage of
1 0 principals. Must get home.
Now!
No, no, no!
- You've got the reflexes of a dead cow.
- Oh, yeah?
lt would seem that it is l who has
the oxygen depriving sleeper hold.
l wonder if in Hawaii instead of
snow days they have lava days.
- ln LA they get off on bad hair days.
- l heard that, too.
Hey, you know...
The problem is, you can never
make a perfect snow angel.
There's always gonna be
that handprint when you climb out.
Come here.
- Not always.
- lt's perfect.
lt sure is.
Come on.
You know what we can do today?
Start an avalanche.
- l've got a bracelet to return.
- No, no.
Lane, this snow day has given me
a second chance with Claire.
What do you think she's gonna do? Hug
you, lick your ear and call you "Bunky" ?
Maybe you don't believe in
true love, but l do.
ls that what you think it is?
Man, you're dumb!
Love isn't about fate
and magic bracelets and destiny.
lt's about finding someone you
can stand to be around for 1 0 minutes.
- You're a real romantic.
- This is gonna end in flames.
Come on, Lane, have a little faith.
lt is a snow day.
What do you think you're doing?
Chet's trying to break his all-time
record. Oh, man. You blew it!
- l told you to lay down the rug.
- We will.
l thought
this was supposed to be a day off.
Wayne, l'd be careful about
eating too much of that stuff.
With all those layers, if you had to go
to the bathroom, it could be close.
All right, you brought Meltar!
Where's his faithful sidekick Fangor?
Chasing some girl. Don't even ask.
So, what's our quest today?
You know what Meltar says,
"Listen to the wind!"
That's not the wind!
Snowploughman.
Come on! Move it!
l don't know about this.
Couldn't we just make a snowman?
No way. This is the year
Hal and l said we'd take him down.
- Hal's not here so...
- Snowball. Now.
What do you need? Standard
"Slushball" , always dependable.
The ever-popular "Moonball". The last
thing he sees is you mooning him.
l've got the jelly-filled "Snownut".
And this one...speaks for itself.
- Give me the "Snownut".
- Oh, man. l gotta whiz!
(SCREAMlNG )
- lt's now or never.
- l'll go with now!
Run!
Put some oomph into it, Wayno!
No, don't leave me here!
l don't wanna die with my pants down!
lf you can't hunt with the big dogs, you
better sit on the porch with the pups!
Come on, guys! Help!
Come on, Chet, go!
Oh, man! Oh, man! Oh, man!
The office is closed down,
and you make me come to work.
l had to walk the whole way!
Look at my toes.
- They're frozen, like ''Tater-Tots''.
- Nona, what was l supposed to do?
l'm completely snowed-in here.
Everybody else is taking the day off.
Why can't we?
We have worked too hard and too long
to let a little snow get in the way of 42
percent global market share. lt'll be fun!
First thing l need
is the quarterly earnings report.
The first thing you need
is a stun gun for your kid.
l'll call you back.
Randy honey, is that any way
to treat your head?
l wanna go outside. Mrs Huffner
lets us go outside at school.
But remember what Mummy said?
When her work is done, we go outside.
Tell me a story.
Okay, okay.
Once upon a time, in a land far,
far away there lived a little prince...
Mrs Huffner tells us the story
about the pokey little puppy.
l see. Well,
Mummy doesn't know that story.
Can Mrs Huffner do this?
Hee-haw! Hee-Haw!
Mrs Huffner brings in a real donkey.
Did Mrs Huffner give you that paint set
you wanted for your birthday?
lt's on Mummy's bed.
Yeah, yeah!
Take that, Mrs Huffner.
- Hey, Principal Weaver.
- Hey, kids.
Enjoying your day off?
l know l sure am.
l'm ...taking...names!
l wonder what people say when they
hear about Claire falling in love with me.
l know what Chuck is gonna say.
"Prepare to die, waste case."
Chuck? He had his chance.
Today, she's all mine.
l love you, Claire!
l wanna stroke your hair.
lt's like "Clairestock".
- Bill, what are you doing here?
- Word gets around, dude.
You're not the only guy
who knew they broke up.
Some of these guys
came all the way from Rochester.
You gotta be kidding me!
Beat it, dips! Got that, Korn?
Disappear before you get free passes
to the Chuck Wheeler House of Pain!
Claire bear, it's me!
Let me up, we gotta talk!
Claire, l'm begging you.
Sorry, Chuck, l can't hear you!
We'll be right back
with a live Channel Six weather...
Cheer up. At least she watches
your dad's station.
Yes, she does.
Just give me one little minute.
All right, but only a minute.
You wanted to wear pants,
you're wearing pants.
Tina, people don't want this "Frosty
the Weatherman" stuff. They don't .
They want real weather from the only
guy who knows what he's doing.
They want someone who can
juggle fire and make cool noises.
You're wrong. People will find out
who predicted the storm first,
and when they do,
watch out, Chad Symmonz.
Claire bear! What happened
yesterday was...yesterday.
Today is today.
A day to go skating.
- What do you say?
- We broke up!
- Yes, but not technically. Let's talk.
- Yes. Technically.
(TV) Let it snow, let it snow.
That's what kids of central New York
are saying as last night's snowfall...
Oh, honey...
l'm here at Slupperton Hill, or
as the kids like to call it, "Suicide Hill".
And what better way to say, ''Yeah,
winter!'' than with a toboggan ride?
Hey, Dad!
l'm gonna ask my friends to give me
just a little push. l said a little one!
What is this? Frank, pan off him.
Pan off him, Frank!
Do something. Do something!
Claire, l know you're watching.
My name is Hal.
You don't know me but l know you.
l know that your favourite gum
is " watermelon Bubblicious".
And that you can't go
a whole day without diving,
and that you have the most amazing
brown eyes l've ever seen.
l also know that yesterday
''America's Dream Team'' broke up.
Personally, l think it was the right move.
So, today, if you're wondering
what to do next, try something new. Me.
lt's a snow day, Claire.
Anything can happen.
Hal, when l was your age, l used to
wear cologne to get a girl to notice me.
l'm sorry, Dad, but it's just that this girl
is just...so, you know, she's just...
l know what you mean. Get your blood
running, huh? Do what you have to do.
Don't worry. We meteorologists
are trained for the unpredictable.
You might wanna look at this.
We taped the Channel 1 0 feed and...
Who was there first
when the blizzard of the century came?
Why, Chad Symmonz, of course.
Whenever there's weather
that affects our area, l'll be there first.
First one, my butt! Liar!
Liar! Who was first?
Who was it?
- Tom, it's okay!
- Who was first? Just one. Liar!
So, how was l?
Remember in sixth grade when you
wore those rainbow suspenders all year
because you
thought they were so cool?
- lt was kinda like that.
- l know what l'm doing, okay?
Then enlighten me.
How does that work into your plans?
What'd you expect?
They always get back together.
# There she goes
# There she goes again
Racing through my brain
# And l just can't contain
# This feeling that remains
# There she goes
There she goes again... #
Why do l have to be the decoy?
l'm the one who got the ketchup.
lf you don't play dead,
you're gonna be dead.
- That's comforting.
- Here he comes.
Next time
you can get your own ketchup!
This better not stain my coat.
# Oh, my darling Clementine...#
l'm going for the keys.
A little dab'll do ya.
(SQUAWK!)
Hello, birdie. Pretty birdie.
Yes, you're a pretty birdie.
You're a pretty birdie. Hello.
Chet! Chet! Chet!
Hey, get out of my plough!
No... Trudy!
You want her? Come get her, dirtbag!
Thank you and goodnight, everybody!
Trudy!
Of course, that was Love Letters
by the sultan of smooth, Mr Al Martino.
While we're still in a romantic mood,
skaters are reminded
that there's no better way
to say ''l love you''
than with a brand new pair of skate
guards. On sale in the main office.
Come on. lf you won't do it for me,
do it for them.
How many years has he been putting
everybody to sleep with that music?
Are you ready to party? l know l am.
So, let's make the scene, Gene,
as - who else ? - Al Martino
invites us to enter a world of fascination.
# lt was fascination, l know
# And it might have ended
right there at the start... #
Hey!
- Chuck, can l ask you a question?
- Ask away.
- Who am l?
- You're my woman.
No. Who am l as a person?
We've been dating three years.
What do you really know about me?
Wow...heavy. Okay, well, eh...
Your favourite animal is a chimpanzee.
You're absolutely crazy about chimps.
Spider monkeys?
Mr Zellweger, please!
lt's an emergency!
- What's the problem?
- Oh, my gosh. ln the ladies' room.
- l tried to stop her. l really did.
- Stop who from doing what?
" Al Martino bites the big one."
That's what she wrote.
ln the bathroom stall. Some weird girl
with a dog collar and a snake tattoo.
What kind of sicko!
Take me to her now!
What are those things that
have bright red butts? Baboons!
- Chuck, what colour are my eyes?
- They're green, of course.
A darkish shade of green,
looks like brown. l'm on top of it.
One last question.
What flavour gum do l chew?
- What kind of a bogus question is that?
- Kid on TV knew.
- What kid on TV?
- Him.
May l have your attention?
Due to circumstances, Mr Zellweger
cannot be with us right now.
So...to continue in the party mood...
..l'd like to make a special
snow day dedication to Claire Bonner.
Hi. You might think l'm crazy, Claire.
That's okay.
(ROCK MUSlC )
You are so dead.
What? l can't hear you.
Hal, let's go.
l think you made your point.
Makes me sick!
Swarms of vermin.
Destructive, ignorant cretins.
Metallica sucks.
Snowploughman,
l mean, Mr Snowploughman,
l was wondering. That story about how
you frequently grind kids into road salt...
lt's just a story, right?
You can get back to me on that.
No rush.
l'm toast.
Sorry to interrupt
your afternoon, ma'am, but...
..l was wondering if you could
tell me where l can find your daughter.
Natalie? Natalie Brandston?
Why, is she in trouble?
Oh...no, no, no, it's a...
Well, just a bunch of the kids
signed up for free plough rides.
- Oh...
- Your little Natalie is next in line.
Great. You must be the guy
the kids call "Snowploughman".
The kids have a lot of different names
for me but you can call me Roger.
Okay, Roger.
Oh, is that Wayne Alworth?
Hi, honey!
- Mrs Brandston!
- Yeah, that's actually Wayne.
He's just finishing his plough ride.
(HORN BLARES )
- The kids really love to toot the horn.
- What's he writing?
Pleh? Pleh...
That's actually a kind of...
Well, it's a technical term.
Just a ploughing term. Ma'am,
there's a lot of kids on this list, so...
- ..if l could find your daughter...
- Sorry. Sure...
Randy, sweetheart! What are you...
l got him a paint set for his birthday...
Honey, you'll freeze to death.
Come back!
(PHONE RlNGS )
Hello?
Snowploughman, there's someone
here who wants to say hi to you.
Trudy! Are you okay, baby? They
haven't hurt you yet, have they, honey?
- Not yet.
- What do you want from me?
We get our friend back
and you give us a second snow day.
- No way.
- Then we keep the bird, you keep him.
What do you want me to do?
Bill?
Check it out. French fry log cabin.
- You're not wasting your day.
- l know it.
- What's going on? Where's Hal?
- Football field.
He's off building
some kind of shrine to Lady Claire.
And l'm the feeb
who's been sent here to fetch her.
And to think
we used to be afraid of this joker.
How easy is this? We give him his bird,
and he gives us an extra snow day.
l say we go for two...no, three!
Three snow days
and l get to drive his truck!
Where's this mook, anyway?
He should be here by now.
Help! Help!
What if l might actually think
this guy is cute?
What if you might be on the verge of
committing total social suicide?
Help me, please, l beg you!
Anyway, let's pretend you like this guy.
What do you know about him?
He's really ticklish, l can tell you that.
What else?
He hates drum machines. And he once
gave mouth to mouth to a baby chick.
lt was Easter. My mum got the bright
idea of bringing chicks for everyone.
lt was kinda cute till they started dying,
which they did after we named them.
So there's Hal on his hands and knees
giving mouth to mouth to my bird!
lt was...it was...
All right, let's make this quick.
Give me the bird.
- Give me the Wayne.
- The bird.
- The Wayne! The Wayne!
- The bird! The bird!
- You. Leaving. Now.
- l'm going.
But, Claire, you've gotta come with me.
Hal's expecting you.
l know you hardly even know the guy.
But...
You know when you're making
a snow angel and...
..you wanna make it perfect
but you can't because...
..there's always that handprint
you make when you climb out?
Well, with Hal there's no handprint.
Claire! What's Chuck gonna think?
Chuck doesn't think.
- The Wayne!
- The bird!
- You first.
- You first!
- l said " you first" first.
- So?
Just give him the bird.
Please, l wanna go home!
Do it so we can get out of here.
Hi, honey, sweetie. Are you okay?
- Hey, where do you think you're going?
- No!
Let him go!
Nobody messes
with Roger Stubblefield.
Great plan, guys, real great.
You should see what he can do
when he's really trying.
You made this for me? Why?
lt's your favourite animal. The whale!
You know? Nature's gentle giant.
But...l like zebras.
Then how come you have
a whale charm on your bracelet?
You have my bracelet?
- Why does he have my bracelet?
- Destiny. Pure destiny.
Oh, no...
Hey, zip, you're in luck.
The House of Pain now delivers.
Chuck! What do you want?
Claire bear!
l've been looking all over for you!
As for you, Mr Wonderful...
Hey, what've you got there?
lt's all sweaty!
l gave this to Claire.
What are you doing with it?
- l can explain.
- What's he doing with your bracelet?
l wouldn't wanna be you
in about two minutes.
We'll get this back on your lovely ankle
without delay.
Remember where l got this for you?
At Aqualand?
They had the glass-bottom boat,
remember?
The guide kept telling us
to gaze at the wonders of the deep.
All l did was look at you.
Why did you buy me a whale?
l've always wanted to know.
Because of "Shampoo" , the killer whale.
You love that whale.
lt's not "Shampoo" , you blowhole!
lt's "Shamu".
Don't even think about it!
Quite a ladies' man, aren't you?
Craig will be hurting you today.
Hi, there!
l'm sorry. l didn't introduce you
to my friend Steve!
Man, l love this part!
Brandston!
Hello, Syracuse! Winter is finally here,
and you know what that means.
lce sculptures! Kids are whacking
and carving and chipping away.
And, of course, a big idiot
dressed as a magic elf.
Tom, don't do this.
Old Jack Frost here takes you on a tour
of this year's Winter Jamboree.
Hey, that's some car! l'd love to have
that thing in my garage, wouldn't you?
lsn't it amazing what some kids will do
just to earn a merit badge?
- Oh, give me a break.
- lt's Chad Symmonz.
Whenever there's weather
that affects our area, he's there first.
Kids. As unpredictable as the weather.
May l borrow that chisel?
Oh, come on. Want the mike?
Take the mike. lt's for your own good!
l'm telling you! l just wanna...
- Come on.
- No!
Watch it, watch it!
Oh, honey...
No... No. No!
- Chad! No...
- Oh, boy.
Well, the beaver's nice. That about
wraps it up here, Phyllis. Back to you.
- Laura! l've got it!
- Yes!
Patch me in when
everyone in Beijing is ready, okay?
l'm so good. You're on in two minutes.
See ya, bye.
Okay, here we go.
Take the project file, open...
Power pearls, on.
Randy, outside. Randy? Randy!
l want you to come in here right now!
Come in here!
Randy, where are you, honey?
Don't hide from Mummy.
This isn't funny. Mummy
will let you paint anything you want.
You can paint Mummy blue!
Please, don't do this.
Yeah, Nona. Hi, it's me.
Forget the video patch.
Patch me through on the cellphone.
All right, one minute, okay.
No, no, Randy.
Stay right where you are.
- Come on, Mum. Snowball fight!
- This isn't happening...
- Fire!
- Randall Todd Brandston, stop that.
Enough is enough, you understand?
Did you hear me?
Do you want me to tell Mrs Huffner?
Do you? ln the house, right now.
- Yeah...
- Randall!
You little... All right, okay. Wanna fight?
Mummy will give you a fight.
Stop it! You've gotten better
than you were last year.
Hey, what's that?
You... l'm gonna get you.
(CELLPHONE RlNGS )
Sorry, Meltar, l blew it.
l thought l could do it without Hal.
l guess l was wrong.
Where in the name
of the seventh sun are you going?
To the kitchen. l'm gonna make
a grilled cheese sandwich.
Weren't you going to
save the universe?
What do you want me to say?
l lost, evil won, the end.
''l lost, evil won, boo-hoo-hoo. ''
You think l ate a sandwich the day
on Andromeda when l got ambushed?
- l guess not.
- Do you know why?
- Because you're lactose intolerant?
- Quiet! Can't you see l'm talking?
There on Andromeda, things
looked bleak. l, too, had lost a partner.
Fangor had abandoned me and there
l was, up poop river without a paddle.
- And?
- Stranded there alone,
with the fate of the universe hanging
in the balance, l remembered a saying.
Yeah, yeah. "Winners never quit,
and quitters never win."
What? No!
Quitters will be cast
into the flaming pit of death!
Uh, that's gotta sting.
lt's up to you, Natalie.
Gather your forces.
Only you can unleash
the rage of a hundred snow days
that could've been,
that should've been...if not for him.
Snowploughman.
- Oh, man. l thought you were Chuck.
- lt's me.
Yeah.
- So, you escaped the House of Pain.
- Oh, yeah, it was no big deal.
You should've seen me.
lt was unbelievable.
- Tough break back there with Claire.
- Nothing l can't handle.
Come on, Hal! Let me bring you back.
- "But l like zebras."
- A minor setback.
- What is your problem?
- l found that bracelet for a reason.
l don't wanna hear another word
about that crappy bracelet.
lt's not crappy.
What?
- Forget it. lt doesn't matter.
- Yes, it does.
Just leave me alone.
l can't believe l wasted
a whole snow day on this.
What mind-blowing thing
didn't you get to do today?
- You don't wanna know.
- Yes, Lane, l do.
This.
You said anything can happen.
Surprise.
Thank you, Sally and Ken.
We're here on West Burlington Street,
or should l say,
West Buuuurlington Street,
where this record-breaking snowfall
hasn't kept my fans from coming on out.
- Let's move. He was here first.
- We're not going anywhere.
- What do you think of all this snow?
- lt's great!
Kinda caught you by surprise, didn't it?
Caught a lot of people by surprise,
but ol' Chad was in the right place
at the right time, once again!
l'd expect nothing else from
the area's number one meteorologist.
Well, thank you. Hey...
Channel Six's Tom Brandston,
or should l say, Old Man Weather?
Tom...
That storm really fooled me last night.
How did you call it? l'd like to know.
- Just call it a hunch, Tom.
- A hunch?
- Yeah. The cold front...
- Can't learn it in a weatherman school.
l'm just kidding with you there.
l'm sure you learned that the upper
atmospheric shift that we had last night
led to the sudden two point drop
in the Fleeber lndex.
- Of course, Tom. Anyhow...
- There is no Fleeber lndex, Chad.
- You're a fraud.
- Well, you're a joke, Tom. A joke.
l'll tell you what.
To prove you're not a fraud,
why don't you tell everybody here...
Tell us where this comes from.
Yeah, Chad. Tell us.
- What, snow?
- Snow.
Snow. Come on. Well...
You know, the...
The Eskimos have exactly
eleven words for snow.
We, on the other hand, we only
have one word and that word is...
..snow.
When the barometric pressure
reaches all that cold, cold wind
that comes from ol' Canada,
it goes through a process that Tom
knows well is classified information,
and it forms what
we meteorologists like to call...
..the white stuff.
- You're a loser!
- Yeah!
- Could you get in your van and go?
- Sure, l'll go.
As soon as you tell everybody
who really was there
when the blizzard of the century
came knocking at our door, Chad.
- Who was it, Chad?
- Yeah, Chad?
- Tom Brandston.
- Sorry, l couldn't hear that one.
Tom Brandston.
Tom...Brandston.
Tom Brandston.
Tom Brandston.
- How did you know l'd be here?
- You couldn't go a day without diving.
You wanna come up?
So, this is the high dive.
Sure is...high.
So, anything
can happen on a snow day.
That's what you said to me
on TV this morning.
ls this the anything you had in mind?
No.
l mean, yes.
Believe me, this is more than anything
l could've hoped for.
lt's just not the anything
that's supposed to happen.
Man, how could l have been so stupid?
- No, not about you, about Lane.
- Lane.
l can't believe what
l put her through today.
- And when she kissed me...
- She kissed you?
- What did you do?
- l came here.
Oh, boy. Well, l guess you know
what you have to do.
While my mission had just begun,
Snowploughman's was nearly over.
Before him lay his last victim,
the final unploughed street.
Oh, yeah. Oooh...
Trudy, why don't you take it from here?
Atta girl. Here we go, baby.
You got it, girl! Yeah.
All right, Trudy, don't you worry.
Nobody's gonna hurt you this time.
Well, look who's here!
lf you're looking for a ride, l'm afraid
you'll have to wait till next year.
- Now, get out of my way!
- No!
No? No, huh? Okay, all right.
l hope that's " no" as in,
"Oh, no, please, Mr Snowploughman.
"Please don't roll over me
like a human speed bump."
"No" as in, "You've stolen
your last snow day from us!"
"Us" ? l don't see any " us" here.
All l see is a whiny little runt who's going
back to school tomorrow. Too bad.
Oooh... Now l'm scared! Oohh!
You will be! Listen to the wind!
That's not the wind.
Snow day! Snow day! Snow day!
Charge!
l'm sorry. lt's just so funny!
You dimwits actually think
you clobbered me!
But the truth is, l've already won.
Yeah, l have.
lt doesn't matter if l don't plough this
street. The other streets are ploughed.
l'll see you in school tomorrow.
You didn't think of that, did you?
- Actually, we did.
- What?
Now that you're done ploughing,
we might do a little un-ploughing!
No! You can't take Clementine!
# She was lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine #
Yeah!
No, not Clementine! Come back here!
Sorry you can't join us!
lt's gonna be a real hoo-hah!
NO! !
Trudy... Trudy! Trudy!
(TRUDY SQUAWKS,
SNOWPLOUGHMAN SQUAWKS BACK)
Lane! Lane!
Hey, Lane!
Hi!
(AL MARTlNO SONG PLAYlNG )
To help stop the bleeding,
apply pressure directly to the wound.
- Nothing happened between us.
- She'll never leave me.
- What do you know?
- What flavour gum does she chew?
Like l'm gonna tell you. You're a zero!
You're nothing! A zip!
- Go out with other zips.
- l'm not sure l'm following you.
l'm Chuck Wheeler.
l go out with Claire Bonner.
Yeah? Well, not technically.
Unbelievable.
- Nats?
- Hal.
You saved my butt!
He was gonna kill me!
You're driving
Snowploughman's truck?
Cool, huh?
- Remember l said l didn't need you?
- l guess you weren't kidding.
Meltar and l can
take care of the universe no problem.
Eh...l borrowed him. Don't worry,
l didn't scratch him or anything.
- l swear.
- lt's all right.
He belongs to you now.
You've earned him.
Just be careful, you two.
There's a lot of bad out there.
What's going on?
Welcome to the Chet and Wayne
House of Pain.
We gotta get going.
Got a lot of un-ploughing to do.
- All right. See you at the house.
- Okay.
Let's go, Wayne.
Nats, since we're gonna have
another snow day tomorrow,
l was wondering,
you doing anything?
Come on, Nats,
we've got a truck to drive.
That's right, Brandston!
Just walk away...chicken.
# A rose must be made
With the sun and the rain
# For its loving promise
Won't come true... #
Lane! Wait, please, we gotta talk!
Where's Claire? Did Miss Fantasy
shoot you down? Gee, what a surprise.
No, that's not what happened.
- Go away. l have nothing to say.
- Would you just listen?
- Before, when you kissed me...
- Hal.
- l don't wanna talk about that. Ever.
- Would you just hear me?
- Hal...
- My spine. Help, l can't feel my legs.
You're pathetic.
Looks like you're the one
with the reflexes of a dead cow.
- What are you doing? What is all this?
- Wasn't it you who said
that love is about finding someone you
can stand to be around for 1 0 minutes?
Yeah.
You got 1 0 minutes?
You never really know how
a snow day is going to turn out,
but by the time the sun goes down,
you might be amazed to discover
you got to wear pants again...
..you got your life back...
..or not.
And in the end you might discover
that you saved the universe
and got a second snow day.
The snow melts, the schools open
and everything returns to normal,
but the miracle that began with
a snowflake changes your life forever.
Two atoms of hydrogen bond with
a single atom of oxygen to form H20,
otherwise known as water.
Then, if all goes well, the
temperature drops below freezing,
the water crystallises
and a pretty brilliant thing happens.
lf you ask me, the miracle isn't how
each snowflake is perfectly formed.
The real winter miracle is
what can happen afterwards.
lt's called a ''snow day''.
lt's a day kids live for.
Schools close, roads disappear,
grown men weep.
My sister Natalie says
anything can happen on a snow day.
This is the story
of one of those days.
A day that changed the lives of me
and my family...forever.
(SPEAKS HAWAllAN)
ln Hawaiian that means,
"the hands tell a story".
And these hands are saying,
"happy sunny funtime" ,
as more warm weather wiggles its way
into our area. Back to you, Phyllis.
Hot weather, a hot body.
What more can you ask for?
Mahuuna aui!
Next a story of a man
who sued himself and won!
- "Mahuuna aui?"
- lt means kiss my butt.
- You were great.
- l'm a meteorologist, Tina.
Last time l checked,
meteorologists wore pants!
Last time l checked, we were number
three in a three station market.
Therefore, wear the skirt
or hit the bricks.
Tom, l know this is hard on your dignity,
but unless we beat Chad Symmonz...
..we're stuck.
Climb aboard as we dip down
underneath the clouds
for our exclusive Channel 1 0
3-D Dopeler radar.
lt's Doppler radar, you moron.
From top to the bottom,
from the side to the side.
lf you wanna wear pants,
get Symmonz's ratings.
Take a look at that.
Right here in Syracuse
we're gonna be rockin' the old Casbah
with...woah...sixty degrees.
We were in the middle of one of
those freakishly warm winters
that are pretty popular among...
well, freaks.
Oh, yeah.
Meet Principal Ken Weaver,
the man who was number one
on every kid's winter hit parade.
Man-oh-man of La Mancha!
You hit Principal Weaver!
ls that the best you got? ls it?
Well, how about this?
# Oh, there's no snow for you
Oh, there's no snow for you
# Nothing but blue skies for me.
Are you going to school... #
Guy's getting way too cocky.
Look, he's rubbing our faces in it.
l'm an isosceles triangle!
Big target! Come on!
That clam dip's gotta learn that
winter's not over until we say it's over.
Quick, let's reload.
This man's asking for it.
That's it from last year's stash.
l guess we're out until it snows again.
lf it snows.
lt'll snow.
While my sister Natalie worried about
the fate of an entire season,
l had my mind on
more important things.
Her name was Claire Bonner.
Was l obsessed?
Let's say l know the exact number
of times she blinks per minute.
lnteresting.
That dive told me that
she's looking for a new love in her life.
You know, someone bold, fresh...sexy.
Hal, Claire Bonner wouldn't spit on you
if your hair was on fire.
To people like her,
people like you are invisible.
So you guys think l'm invisible?
Then, l guess she won't see me
when l do this.
All right, so l'm invisible.
The day will come when Claire will see
what she's been missing.
She saw what she was missing.
Me, Hal Brandston, Mr Smooth.
My original idea was to stay
underwater until l died,
but luckily the deep end
had other plans for me.
lt was destiny.
Dude, give her the bracelet.
This is your big chance.
l'm just waiting for the right moment.
Hey, babe. Hop in,
everyone's waiting for us at the diner.
- Go away.
- Claire bear.
You don't return my calls.
You won't talk to me.
- l needed some time to think.
- What is there to think about?
You're Claire Bonner and l'm Chuck
Wheeler. America's dream team.
Not any more.
What are you looking at?!
You have defied the mighty Meltar
for the last time.
Prepare to taste
the flame of justice, Freon.
How many times must l tell you?
lt's Doctor Freon! Doctor!
- Natalie?
- Hey, Fangor.
You came just in time. Glad you're here!
What have l told you about
playing with these? They're collectibles.
lt would seem that your brother
is something of a Nimrod, is he not?
- That's enough from you, Mr Freon.
- That's Doctor Freon. Doctor.
Seriously,
hands off the merchandise, okay?
lf l'm gonna sell these,
l've got to keep them mint.
- Sell them? You can't split us up.
- Teams split up all the time. lt happens.
- Who will defend the universe?
- The universe will be just fine.
No, it won't .
- Dad, is it ever gonna snow?
- Aw...
l don't know, sweetheart.
lt's been tough lately.
- Last year it was El Nio, this year...
- El Sucko.
El Sucko, yeah.
Randall, is that the way
we eat soup in this house?
No, l'm sorry.
He wants to swim with the sharks,
he's gonna lose a little blood.
Yes, l know that's what...
l gotta go.
l know, l'm late again. l'm sorry.
- l'm a terrible mother, l know.
- Right again.
But l know that in your hearts
you'll find a way to forgive me.
And you are?
- Randy, call security!
- Yes, sir.
That's funny. Very funny.
- So, what did l miss?
- l can fit my fist in my mouth.
- Show Mum.
- Wow.
That's dandy, honey.
That's wonderful! That's cool.
(CELLPHONE RlNGS )
This dollar is yours if you let it ring.
Please. Easiest buck
l ever made in my life.
Oh, brother.
(PHONE STlLL RlNGlNG )
- So, how was everybody's day?
- Good.
l'll be back in just a second! Talk to me.
l guess that phone call
must've been important.
# l've been waiting
for a girl like you
# To come into my life
# l've been waiting
for a girl like you
# Your loving will survive... #
What are you doing?
l didn't say you could come in my room.
Just get out of my room!
Hi, Nats. Anything out there?
l think so. lt's getting colder out.
The needle moved.
That it has. Maybe we've got
a little low pressure heading our way.
l'm going out.
- Good.
- Why good?
- He's been acting all weird lately.
- He has a lot on his mind.
You know, girls and...
Pretty much mostly girls.
- lt that why he has an ankle bracelet?
- Could be. Could be.
Boys Hal's age like to experiment...
Did you say ankle bracelet?
Well... lt's perfectly normal.
Oh, l forgot. l brought you something.
Mum gave me this when l started out
at the station. A good luck charm.
Maybe it'll work better for you.
Cool! Thanks.
Could you guys help me?
lt's stuck.
You get the head, l get the crowbar.
Don't tell me you don't see a pattern.
The bracelet, the break up...
The fact that we're both
big fans of whales.
- Whales?
- Yeah.
- Gentle giants. What's not to love?
- Exactly.
Hal, you're starting to scare me.
lf you wanna go out,
why don't you go with Patty Krone?
For some reason
she thinks you're cute.
l can't go out with a leg jiggler. Besides,
this thing with Claire is destiny.
- Are you catching any of this?
- Oh, yeah.
All right, you want proof?
Well, this is it.
Okay, here we go.
Breathe, breathe.
Easy, easy, nice and easy.
Who's the man?
You're the man. Come on.
Let's go. Keep it moving.
Well, here l come, baby.
Large and in charge, and totally...
..invisible.
l wish it was this easy.
What are you doing? Daydreaming?
- Just catching snowflakes.
- Did they taste good? lt's getting late.
Come on, scoot down.
Tomorrow is a school day.
- Don't rub it in.
- Love you. Sweet dreams.
You're on in two minutes, Mr Sunshine.
Oh... That's not supposed to be there.
That can't be right.
Can it?
Snow! And lots of it, folks.
This one almost caught us by surprise,
but we were right on top of it.
A fast-moving little system
coming down from Canada,
colliding with the warm flow
we've been experiencing...
Snow! !
Last night's record snowfall
grinding the area to a halt...
The following are closed for today:
Titan Tool & Dye,
the Carousel Mall...
..the Health Farm,
Fromlin's Corduroy Shop...
..and finally,
the weekly poker game at my house.
That concludes
the list of closings for today.
No, they can't do this to us.
Oh, and, l forgot one.
All schools are officially closed
for a snow day.
No school, no school, no school!
- Snow day...
- Snow day!
Snow day, snow day, snow day!
Anything can happen, Hal.
Oh, no...
No matter how brave
you thought you were,
just hearing his name could make
you wish you lived in Florida.
Snowploughman!
To adults, he's just a creepy guy with
a plough named ''Darling Clementine'',
but to us he's a snow day assassin.
A man in serious need
of a good flossing.
Legend has it his tyre chains
are made from the braces of kids
who didn't get out of his way.
They say the only thing he loves
is his bird, Trudy.
Run for your lives!
- l really don't like him.
- He's not a fun guy.
He's gotta be stopped.
What do you say, Hal?
This was gonna be the year. The prize,
the legendary "Second Snow Day".
Think of it, Hal. Two in a row.
We've never had two in a row before.
Sorry, but there's something l gotta do.
- Claire Bonner. Who's she?
- Just this girl. You don't know her.
Wait a second. You're gonna waste
a snow day on some girl?
Look. Tomorrow everything
goes back to normal,
and l'll be one of a million guys wishing
Claire Bonner was their girlfriend.
But today, maybe l can change that.
- But we're a team.
- And we always will be.
- But l gotta go solo today, all right?
- That's okay. l don't need you anyway.
- There's no way l can stay home.
- lt's not about giving you a break.
Okay, that's a good idea.
We'll leave Randy here by himself.
Briefcase, check.
Commuter mug, check.
Lucky Troll doll, check.
Look out, Asian carbonated beverage
market. Here comes trouble.
Don't worry, Mum.
There'll be other work days.
Mum may have lost a chance
to swim with the sharks,
but at least
she gained a little quality time.
Okay, clean Mummy's clothes. Okay.
As for me...l stood on the threshold
of a brave new world.
Winter Wonderland, my butt...
- Hey, beautiful day, isn't it?
- Give me a break!
"Neither rain nor sleet nor..."
What's the last one, Mr Hebert?
Everybody makes fun of the mailman.
Oh, great. That's just great.
Well, at least
l can see the outline of my car.
My own little blue car.
Today is really, really...shaping up.
(SlNGLE WHlSTLE)
(WHlSTLE)
lf you kids think...
..because l'm not...
You kids wanna play rough?
l invented rough!
Must muster the courage of
1 0 principals. Must get home.
Now!
No, no, no!
- You've got the reflexes of a dead cow.
- Oh, yeah?
lt would seem that it is l who has
the oxygen depriving sleeper hold.
l wonder if in Hawaii instead of
snow days they have lava days.
- ln LA they get off on bad hair days.
- l heard that, too.
Hey, you know...
The problem is, you can never
make a perfect snow angel.
There's always gonna be
that handprint when you climb out.
Come here.
- Not always.
- lt's perfect.
lt sure is.
Come on.
You know what we can do today?
Start an avalanche.
- l've got a bracelet to return.
- No, no.
Lane, this snow day has given me
a second chance with Claire.
What do you think she's gonna do? Hug
you, lick your ear and call you "Bunky" ?
Maybe you don't believe in
true love, but l do.
ls that what you think it is?
Man, you're dumb!
Love isn't about fate
and magic bracelets and destiny.
lt's about finding someone you
can stand to be around for 1 0 minutes.
- You're a real romantic.
- This is gonna end in flames.
Come on, Lane, have a little faith.
lt is a snow day.
What do you think you're doing?
Chet's trying to break his all-time
record. Oh, man. You blew it!
- l told you to lay down the rug.
- We will.
l thought
this was supposed to be a day off.
Wayne, l'd be careful about
eating too much of that stuff.
With all those layers, if you had to go
to the bathroom, it could be close.
All right, you brought Meltar!
Where's his faithful sidekick Fangor?
Chasing some girl. Don't even ask.
So, what's our quest today?
You know what Meltar says,
"Listen to the wind!"
That's not the wind!
Snowploughman.
Come on! Move it!
l don't know about this.
Couldn't we just make a snowman?
No way. This is the year
Hal and l said we'd take him down.
- Hal's not here so...
- Snowball. Now.
What do you need? Standard
"Slushball" , always dependable.
The ever-popular "Moonball". The last
thing he sees is you mooning him.
l've got the jelly-filled "Snownut".
And this one...speaks for itself.
- Give me the "Snownut".
- Oh, man. l gotta whiz!
(SCREAMlNG )
- lt's now or never.
- l'll go with now!
Run!
Put some oomph into it, Wayno!
No, don't leave me here!
l don't wanna die with my pants down!
lf you can't hunt with the big dogs, you
better sit on the porch with the pups!
Come on, guys! Help!
Come on, Chet, go!
Oh, man! Oh, man! Oh, man!
The office is closed down,
and you make me come to work.
l had to walk the whole way!
Look at my toes.
- They're frozen, like ''Tater-Tots''.
- Nona, what was l supposed to do?
l'm completely snowed-in here.
Everybody else is taking the day off.
Why can't we?
We have worked too hard and too long
to let a little snow get in the way of 42
percent global market share. lt'll be fun!
First thing l need
is the quarterly earnings report.
The first thing you need
is a stun gun for your kid.
l'll call you back.
Randy honey, is that any way
to treat your head?
l wanna go outside. Mrs Huffner
lets us go outside at school.
But remember what Mummy said?
When her work is done, we go outside.
Tell me a story.
Okay, okay.
Once upon a time, in a land far,
far away there lived a little prince...
Mrs Huffner tells us the story
about the pokey little puppy.
l see. Well,
Mummy doesn't know that story.
Can Mrs Huffner do this?
Hee-haw! Hee-Haw!
Mrs Huffner brings in a real donkey.
Did Mrs Huffner give you that paint set
you wanted for your birthday?
lt's on Mummy's bed.
Yeah, yeah!
Take that, Mrs Huffner.
- Hey, Principal Weaver.
- Hey, kids.
Enjoying your day off?
l know l sure am.
l'm ...taking...names!
l wonder what people say when they
hear about Claire falling in love with me.
l know what Chuck is gonna say.
"Prepare to die, waste case."
Chuck? He had his chance.
Today, she's all mine.
l love you, Claire!
l wanna stroke your hair.
lt's like "Clairestock".
- Bill, what are you doing here?
- Word gets around, dude.
You're not the only guy
who knew they broke up.
Some of these guys
came all the way from Rochester.
You gotta be kidding me!
Beat it, dips! Got that, Korn?
Disappear before you get free passes
to the Chuck Wheeler House of Pain!
Claire bear, it's me!
Let me up, we gotta talk!
Claire, l'm begging you.
Sorry, Chuck, l can't hear you!
We'll be right back
with a live Channel Six weather...
Cheer up. At least she watches
your dad's station.
Yes, she does.
Just give me one little minute.
All right, but only a minute.
You wanted to wear pants,
you're wearing pants.
Tina, people don't want this "Frosty
the Weatherman" stuff. They don't .
They want real weather from the only
guy who knows what he's doing.
They want someone who can
juggle fire and make cool noises.
You're wrong. People will find out
who predicted the storm first,
and when they do,
watch out, Chad Symmonz.
Claire bear! What happened
yesterday was...yesterday.
Today is today.
A day to go skating.
- What do you say?
- We broke up!
- Yes, but not technically. Let's talk.
- Yes. Technically.
(TV) Let it snow, let it snow.
That's what kids of central New York
are saying as last night's snowfall...
Oh, honey...
l'm here at Slupperton Hill, or
as the kids like to call it, "Suicide Hill".
And what better way to say, ''Yeah,
winter!'' than with a toboggan ride?
Hey, Dad!
l'm gonna ask my friends to give me
just a little push. l said a little one!
What is this? Frank, pan off him.
Pan off him, Frank!
Do something. Do something!
Claire, l know you're watching.
My name is Hal.
You don't know me but l know you.
l know that your favourite gum
is " watermelon Bubblicious".
And that you can't go
a whole day without diving,
and that you have the most amazing
brown eyes l've ever seen.
l also know that yesterday
''America's Dream Team'' broke up.
Personally, l think it was the right move.
So, today, if you're wondering
what to do next, try something new. Me.
lt's a snow day, Claire.
Anything can happen.
Hal, when l was your age, l used to
wear cologne to get a girl to notice me.
l'm sorry, Dad, but it's just that this girl
is just...so, you know, she's just...
l know what you mean. Get your blood
running, huh? Do what you have to do.
Don't worry. We meteorologists
are trained for the unpredictable.
You might wanna look at this.
We taped the Channel 1 0 feed and...
Who was there first
when the blizzard of the century came?
Why, Chad Symmonz, of course.
Whenever there's weather
that affects our area, l'll be there first.
First one, my butt! Liar!
Liar! Who was first?
Who was it?
- Tom, it's okay!
- Who was first? Just one. Liar!
So, how was l?
Remember in sixth grade when you
wore those rainbow suspenders all year
because you
thought they were so cool?
- lt was kinda like that.
- l know what l'm doing, okay?
Then enlighten me.
How does that work into your plans?
What'd you expect?
They always get back together.
# There she goes
# There she goes again
Racing through my brain
# And l just can't contain
# This feeling that remains
# There she goes
There she goes again... #
Why do l have to be the decoy?
l'm the one who got the ketchup.
lf you don't play dead,
you're gonna be dead.
- That's comforting.
- Here he comes.
Next time
you can get your own ketchup!
This better not stain my coat.
# Oh, my darling Clementine...#
l'm going for the keys.
A little dab'll do ya.
(SQUAWK!)
Hello, birdie. Pretty birdie.
Yes, you're a pretty birdie.
You're a pretty birdie. Hello.
Chet! Chet! Chet!
Hey, get out of my plough!
No... Trudy!
You want her? Come get her, dirtbag!
Thank you and goodnight, everybody!
Trudy!
Of course, that was Love Letters
by the sultan of smooth, Mr Al Martino.
While we're still in a romantic mood,
skaters are reminded
that there's no better way
to say ''l love you''
than with a brand new pair of skate
guards. On sale in the main office.
Come on. lf you won't do it for me,
do it for them.
How many years has he been putting
everybody to sleep with that music?
Are you ready to party? l know l am.
So, let's make the scene, Gene,
as - who else ? - Al Martino
invites us to enter a world of fascination.
# lt was fascination, l know
# And it might have ended
right there at the start... #
Hey!
- Chuck, can l ask you a question?
- Ask away.
- Who am l?
- You're my woman.
No. Who am l as a person?
We've been dating three years.
What do you really know about me?
Wow...heavy. Okay, well, eh...
Your favourite animal is a chimpanzee.
You're absolutely crazy about chimps.
Spider monkeys?
Mr Zellweger, please!
lt's an emergency!
- What's the problem?
- Oh, my gosh. ln the ladies' room.
- l tried to stop her. l really did.
- Stop who from doing what?
" Al Martino bites the big one."
That's what she wrote.
ln the bathroom stall. Some weird girl
with a dog collar and a snake tattoo.
What kind of sicko!
Take me to her now!
What are those things that
have bright red butts? Baboons!
- Chuck, what colour are my eyes?
- They're green, of course.
A darkish shade of green,
looks like brown. l'm on top of it.
One last question.
What flavour gum do l chew?
- What kind of a bogus question is that?
- Kid on TV knew.
- What kid on TV?
- Him.
May l have your attention?
Due to circumstances, Mr Zellweger
cannot be with us right now.
So...to continue in the party mood...
..l'd like to make a special
snow day dedication to Claire Bonner.
Hi. You might think l'm crazy, Claire.
That's okay.
(ROCK MUSlC )
You are so dead.
What? l can't hear you.
Hal, let's go.
l think you made your point.
Makes me sick!
Swarms of vermin.
Destructive, ignorant cretins.
Metallica sucks.
Snowploughman,
l mean, Mr Snowploughman,
l was wondering. That story about how
you frequently grind kids into road salt...
lt's just a story, right?
You can get back to me on that.
No rush.
l'm toast.
Sorry to interrupt
your afternoon, ma'am, but...
..l was wondering if you could
tell me where l can find your daughter.
Natalie? Natalie Brandston?
Why, is she in trouble?
Oh...no, no, no, it's a...
Well, just a bunch of the kids
signed up for free plough rides.
- Oh...
- Your little Natalie is next in line.
Great. You must be the guy
the kids call "Snowploughman".
The kids have a lot of different names
for me but you can call me Roger.
Okay, Roger.
Oh, is that Wayne Alworth?
Hi, honey!
- Mrs Brandston!
- Yeah, that's actually Wayne.
He's just finishing his plough ride.
(HORN BLARES )
- The kids really love to toot the horn.
- What's he writing?
Pleh? Pleh...
That's actually a kind of...
Well, it's a technical term.
Just a ploughing term. Ma'am,
there's a lot of kids on this list, so...
- ..if l could find your daughter...
- Sorry. Sure...
Randy, sweetheart! What are you...
l got him a paint set for his birthday...
Honey, you'll freeze to death.
Come back!
(PHONE RlNGS )
Hello?
Snowploughman, there's someone
here who wants to say hi to you.
Trudy! Are you okay, baby? They
haven't hurt you yet, have they, honey?
- Not yet.
- What do you want from me?
We get our friend back
and you give us a second snow day.
- No way.
- Then we keep the bird, you keep him.
What do you want me to do?
Bill?
Check it out. French fry log cabin.
- You're not wasting your day.
- l know it.
- What's going on? Where's Hal?
- Football field.
He's off building
some kind of shrine to Lady Claire.
And l'm the feeb
who's been sent here to fetch her.
And to think
we used to be afraid of this joker.
How easy is this? We give him his bird,
and he gives us an extra snow day.
l say we go for two...no, three!
Three snow days
and l get to drive his truck!
Where's this mook, anyway?
He should be here by now.
Help! Help!
What if l might actually think
this guy is cute?
What if you might be on the verge of
committing total social suicide?
Help me, please, l beg you!
Anyway, let's pretend you like this guy.
What do you know about him?
He's really ticklish, l can tell you that.
What else?
He hates drum machines. And he once
gave mouth to mouth to a baby chick.
lt was Easter. My mum got the bright
idea of bringing chicks for everyone.
lt was kinda cute till they started dying,
which they did after we named them.
So there's Hal on his hands and knees
giving mouth to mouth to my bird!
lt was...it was...
All right, let's make this quick.
Give me the bird.
- Give me the Wayne.
- The bird.
- The Wayne! The Wayne!
- The bird! The bird!
- You. Leaving. Now.
- l'm going.
But, Claire, you've gotta come with me.
Hal's expecting you.
l know you hardly even know the guy.
But...
You know when you're making
a snow angel and...
..you wanna make it perfect
but you can't because...
..there's always that handprint
you make when you climb out?
Well, with Hal there's no handprint.
Claire! What's Chuck gonna think?
Chuck doesn't think.
- The Wayne!
- The bird!
- You first.
- You first!
- l said " you first" first.
- So?
Just give him the bird.
Please, l wanna go home!
Do it so we can get out of here.
Hi, honey, sweetie. Are you okay?
- Hey, where do you think you're going?
- No!
Let him go!
Nobody messes
with Roger Stubblefield.
Great plan, guys, real great.
You should see what he can do
when he's really trying.
You made this for me? Why?
lt's your favourite animal. The whale!
You know? Nature's gentle giant.
But...l like zebras.
Then how come you have
a whale charm on your bracelet?
You have my bracelet?
- Why does he have my bracelet?
- Destiny. Pure destiny.
Oh, no...
Hey, zip, you're in luck.
The House of Pain now delivers.
Chuck! What do you want?
Claire bear!
l've been looking all over for you!
As for you, Mr Wonderful...
Hey, what've you got there?
lt's all sweaty!
l gave this to Claire.
What are you doing with it?
- l can explain.
- What's he doing with your bracelet?
l wouldn't wanna be you
in about two minutes.
We'll get this back on your lovely ankle
without delay.
Remember where l got this for you?
At Aqualand?
They had the glass-bottom boat,
remember?
The guide kept telling us
to gaze at the wonders of the deep.
All l did was look at you.
Why did you buy me a whale?
l've always wanted to know.
Because of "Shampoo" , the killer whale.
You love that whale.
lt's not "Shampoo" , you blowhole!
lt's "Shamu".
Don't even think about it!
Quite a ladies' man, aren't you?
Craig will be hurting you today.
Hi, there!
l'm sorry. l didn't introduce you
to my friend Steve!
Man, l love this part!
Brandston!
Hello, Syracuse! Winter is finally here,
and you know what that means.
lce sculptures! Kids are whacking
and carving and chipping away.
And, of course, a big idiot
dressed as a magic elf.
Tom, don't do this.
Old Jack Frost here takes you on a tour
of this year's Winter Jamboree.
Hey, that's some car! l'd love to have
that thing in my garage, wouldn't you?
lsn't it amazing what some kids will do
just to earn a merit badge?
- Oh, give me a break.
- lt's Chad Symmonz.
Whenever there's weather
that affects our area, he's there first.
Kids. As unpredictable as the weather.
May l borrow that chisel?
Oh, come on. Want the mike?
Take the mike. lt's for your own good!
l'm telling you! l just wanna...
- Come on.
- No!
Watch it, watch it!
Oh, honey...
No... No. No!
- Chad! No...
- Oh, boy.
Well, the beaver's nice. That about
wraps it up here, Phyllis. Back to you.
- Laura! l've got it!
- Yes!
Patch me in when
everyone in Beijing is ready, okay?
l'm so good. You're on in two minutes.
See ya, bye.
Okay, here we go.
Take the project file, open...
Power pearls, on.
Randy, outside. Randy? Randy!
l want you to come in here right now!
Come in here!
Randy, where are you, honey?
Don't hide from Mummy.
This isn't funny. Mummy
will let you paint anything you want.
You can paint Mummy blue!
Please, don't do this.
Yeah, Nona. Hi, it's me.
Forget the video patch.
Patch me through on the cellphone.
All right, one minute, okay.
No, no, Randy.
Stay right where you are.
- Come on, Mum. Snowball fight!
- This isn't happening...
- Fire!
- Randall Todd Brandston, stop that.
Enough is enough, you understand?
Did you hear me?
Do you want me to tell Mrs Huffner?
Do you? ln the house, right now.
- Yeah...
- Randall!
You little... All right, okay. Wanna fight?
Mummy will give you a fight.
Stop it! You've gotten better
than you were last year.
Hey, what's that?
You... l'm gonna get you.
(CELLPHONE RlNGS )
Sorry, Meltar, l blew it.
l thought l could do it without Hal.
l guess l was wrong.
Where in the name
of the seventh sun are you going?
To the kitchen. l'm gonna make
a grilled cheese sandwich.
Weren't you going to
save the universe?
What do you want me to say?
l lost, evil won, the end.
''l lost, evil won, boo-hoo-hoo. ''
You think l ate a sandwich the day
on Andromeda when l got ambushed?
- l guess not.
- Do you know why?
- Because you're lactose intolerant?
- Quiet! Can't you see l'm talking?
There on Andromeda, things
looked bleak. l, too, had lost a partner.
Fangor had abandoned me and there
l was, up poop river without a paddle.
- And?
- Stranded there alone,
with the fate of the universe hanging
in the balance, l remembered a saying.
Yeah, yeah. "Winners never quit,
and quitters never win."
What? No!
Quitters will be cast
into the flaming pit of death!
Uh, that's gotta sting.
lt's up to you, Natalie.
Gather your forces.
Only you can unleash
the rage of a hundred snow days
that could've been,
that should've been...if not for him.
Snowploughman.
- Oh, man. l thought you were Chuck.
- lt's me.
Yeah.
- So, you escaped the House of Pain.
- Oh, yeah, it was no big deal.
You should've seen me.
lt was unbelievable.
- Tough break back there with Claire.
- Nothing l can't handle.
Come on, Hal! Let me bring you back.
- "But l like zebras."
- A minor setback.
- What is your problem?
- l found that bracelet for a reason.
l don't wanna hear another word
about that crappy bracelet.
lt's not crappy.
What?
- Forget it. lt doesn't matter.
- Yes, it does.
Just leave me alone.
l can't believe l wasted
a whole snow day on this.
What mind-blowing thing
didn't you get to do today?
- You don't wanna know.
- Yes, Lane, l do.
This.
You said anything can happen.
Surprise.
Thank you, Sally and Ken.
We're here on West Burlington Street,
or should l say,
West Buuuurlington Street,
where this record-breaking snowfall
hasn't kept my fans from coming on out.
- Let's move. He was here first.
- We're not going anywhere.
- What do you think of all this snow?
- lt's great!
Kinda caught you by surprise, didn't it?
Caught a lot of people by surprise,
but ol' Chad was in the right place
at the right time, once again!
l'd expect nothing else from
the area's number one meteorologist.
Well, thank you. Hey...
Channel Six's Tom Brandston,
or should l say, Old Man Weather?
Tom...
That storm really fooled me last night.
How did you call it? l'd like to know.
- Just call it a hunch, Tom.
- A hunch?
- Yeah. The cold front...
- Can't learn it in a weatherman school.
l'm just kidding with you there.
l'm sure you learned that the upper
atmospheric shift that we had last night
led to the sudden two point drop
in the Fleeber lndex.
- Of course, Tom. Anyhow...
- There is no Fleeber lndex, Chad.
- You're a fraud.
- Well, you're a joke, Tom. A joke.
l'll tell you what.
To prove you're not a fraud,
why don't you tell everybody here...
Tell us where this comes from.
Yeah, Chad. Tell us.
- What, snow?
- Snow.
Snow. Come on. Well...
You know, the...
The Eskimos have exactly
eleven words for snow.
We, on the other hand, we only
have one word and that word is...
..snow.
When the barometric pressure
reaches all that cold, cold wind
that comes from ol' Canada,
it goes through a process that Tom
knows well is classified information,
and it forms what
we meteorologists like to call...
..the white stuff.
- You're a loser!
- Yeah!
- Could you get in your van and go?
- Sure, l'll go.
As soon as you tell everybody
who really was there
when the blizzard of the century
came knocking at our door, Chad.
- Who was it, Chad?
- Yeah, Chad?
- Tom Brandston.
- Sorry, l couldn't hear that one.
Tom Brandston.
Tom...Brandston.
Tom Brandston.
Tom Brandston.
- How did you know l'd be here?
- You couldn't go a day without diving.
You wanna come up?
So, this is the high dive.
Sure is...high.
So, anything
can happen on a snow day.
That's what you said to me
on TV this morning.
ls this the anything you had in mind?
No.
l mean, yes.
Believe me, this is more than anything
l could've hoped for.
lt's just not the anything
that's supposed to happen.
Man, how could l have been so stupid?
- No, not about you, about Lane.
- Lane.
l can't believe what
l put her through today.
- And when she kissed me...
- She kissed you?
- What did you do?
- l came here.
Oh, boy. Well, l guess you know
what you have to do.
While my mission had just begun,
Snowploughman's was nearly over.
Before him lay his last victim,
the final unploughed street.
Oh, yeah. Oooh...
Trudy, why don't you take it from here?
Atta girl. Here we go, baby.
You got it, girl! Yeah.
All right, Trudy, don't you worry.
Nobody's gonna hurt you this time.
Well, look who's here!
lf you're looking for a ride, l'm afraid
you'll have to wait till next year.
- Now, get out of my way!
- No!
No? No, huh? Okay, all right.
l hope that's " no" as in,
"Oh, no, please, Mr Snowploughman.
"Please don't roll over me
like a human speed bump."
"No" as in, "You've stolen
your last snow day from us!"
"Us" ? l don't see any " us" here.
All l see is a whiny little runt who's going
back to school tomorrow. Too bad.
Oooh... Now l'm scared! Oohh!
You will be! Listen to the wind!
That's not the wind.
Snow day! Snow day! Snow day!
Charge!
l'm sorry. lt's just so funny!
You dimwits actually think
you clobbered me!
But the truth is, l've already won.
Yeah, l have.
lt doesn't matter if l don't plough this
street. The other streets are ploughed.
l'll see you in school tomorrow.
You didn't think of that, did you?
- Actually, we did.
- What?
Now that you're done ploughing,
we might do a little un-ploughing!
No! You can't take Clementine!
# She was lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine #
Yeah!
No, not Clementine! Come back here!
Sorry you can't join us!
lt's gonna be a real hoo-hah!
NO! !
Trudy... Trudy! Trudy!
(TRUDY SQUAWKS,
SNOWPLOUGHMAN SQUAWKS BACK)
Lane! Lane!
Hey, Lane!
Hi!
(AL MARTlNO SONG PLAYlNG )
To help stop the bleeding,
apply pressure directly to the wound.
- Nothing happened between us.
- She'll never leave me.
- What do you know?
- What flavour gum does she chew?
Like l'm gonna tell you. You're a zero!
You're nothing! A zip!
- Go out with other zips.
- l'm not sure l'm following you.
l'm Chuck Wheeler.
l go out with Claire Bonner.
Yeah? Well, not technically.
Unbelievable.
- Nats?
- Hal.
You saved my butt!
He was gonna kill me!
You're driving
Snowploughman's truck?
Cool, huh?
- Remember l said l didn't need you?
- l guess you weren't kidding.
Meltar and l can
take care of the universe no problem.
Eh...l borrowed him. Don't worry,
l didn't scratch him or anything.
- l swear.
- lt's all right.
He belongs to you now.
You've earned him.
Just be careful, you two.
There's a lot of bad out there.
What's going on?
Welcome to the Chet and Wayne
House of Pain.
We gotta get going.
Got a lot of un-ploughing to do.
- All right. See you at the house.
- Okay.
Let's go, Wayne.
Nats, since we're gonna have
another snow day tomorrow,
l was wondering,
you doing anything?
Come on, Nats,
we've got a truck to drive.
That's right, Brandston!
Just walk away...chicken.
# A rose must be made
With the sun and the rain
# For its loving promise
Won't come true... #
Lane! Wait, please, we gotta talk!
Where's Claire? Did Miss Fantasy
shoot you down? Gee, what a surprise.
No, that's not what happened.
- Go away. l have nothing to say.
- Would you just listen?
- Before, when you kissed me...
- Hal.
- l don't wanna talk about that. Ever.
- Would you just hear me?
- Hal...
- My spine. Help, l can't feel my legs.
You're pathetic.
Looks like you're the one
with the reflexes of a dead cow.
- What are you doing? What is all this?
- Wasn't it you who said
that love is about finding someone you
can stand to be around for 1 0 minutes?
Yeah.
You got 1 0 minutes?
You never really know how
a snow day is going to turn out,
but by the time the sun goes down,
you might be amazed to discover
you got to wear pants again...
..you got your life back...
..or not.
And in the end you might discover
that you saved the universe
and got a second snow day.
The snow melts, the schools open
and everything returns to normal,
but the miracle that began with
a snowflake changes your life forever.