Thanks for Sharing (2012) Movie Script
ADAM:
Five years.
I remember when I
couldn't get five days.
(CARS HONKING)
MIKE:
What's your name?
ADAM:
Hey. Adam. Sex addict.
ALL:
Hi, Adam.
(UPBEAT DRUM MUSIC)
I never want to get cocky
about this, you know?
I never want to be, like,
"Yo, look at me."
"I got it all. I got five years.
I got it all figured out."
I've had to make it a practice.
I have to remind myself every day
where this disease could take me.
I have to remember jonesing, feeling like I
was gonna fucking die if I didn't have sex.
I've got to be vigilant, you know?
I can't...
I can't be easy with
myself in this program.
So, yeah.
I am grateful to be sober today.
Thanks.
Thanks for letting me share.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
What are you doing?
Hey, I'm Neil. I'm a sexy...
I'm a sex addict.
(LAUGHTER)
Hi, Neil.
Hi, Neil.
Thanks so much for your share, Adam.
That's some powerful shit, man. Damn.
All right, so let me check in.
How am I doing? (EXHALES)
You know, I'm good, actually.
I'm feeling pretty good.
Work's good. Work's great.
All right, what do we got?
EMT: Twenty-something male
presenting polysubstance OD.
We gave him the Narcan, then he woke up,
starting pulling everything,
and then went out again.
Got it.
Sir?
Can you hear me?
Can you tell me your name, bud?
All right, belly's distended.
Let's get an IV set up
and then put a Foley in.
Put it in what?
Damn.
Looks like a bird egg in a nest.
Poor guy probably
needs a squirrel to jerk him off.
Don't you think?
(CHUCKLES)
It kind of looks like
an elevator button.
Third floor. Beep.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
Dr. Garalla?
Can I see you over here
for a second, please?
NEIL: You know, but I gotta say
it's working. Totally working.
I haven't touched myself in
about a month, which is crazy,
'cause I remember, you know, when I first
heard about the no masturbation rule,
I was, like, "Okay, should I
not breathe while I'm at it?"
(LAUGHTER)
Should I not breathe
while I'm at it?
All right, well, that wraps it up.
Thanks for letting me share.
Yeah.
Thanks. I'm Mike,
gratefully recovering sex addict.
Hi, Mike.
Hi, Mike.
I'm proud of you, birthday boy.
Really proud.
Thanks.
And I'm proud to be your sponsor.
So, what's going on with me?
Let's see.
Well, I'm grateful to be sober.
Been taking
some visual drinks on the streets.
Is it me, or is Manhattan
just one big fucking catwalk?
(LAUGHTER)
Mmm, hey.
Hey.
I'm really embarrassed to say this,
but I forgot your name.
(CHUCKLES)
You guys have heard me say this before.
This disease is a fucking bitch.
Now I have been sober
15 years in the beverage program.
No problem.
This thing is a whole
different animal.
It's like trying to quit crack
while the pipe's attached to your body.
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
Who serves stale bread?
It's completely stale.
Have you decided yet?
Uh, yeah, just one moment.
What's tempeh again?
Just order the pancakes, Mike.
Maybe I want to try something different.
You know what you should get?
It's the salmon scramble. It's so good.
This time I'm going to go for the
pancakes.
Get off my back.
How's work?
It's pretty good.
We just landed the postal service.
What?
Yup, we're going to be helping
them green all their packaging.
That's huge. The postal service.
Right. Yeah.
That's an oxymoron, right?
The postal service.
It's like jumbo shrimp
or military intelligence.
No. It's actually not
an oxymoron at all.
They actually deliver the mail.
Postal service.
But the...
See, there's no... There's actually no...
No, but there is. They're having issues.
Not at all. Not an oxymoron.
So, um, how's the dating?
Uh...
What?
(SIGHS) It's...
Come on, you got five years. It's time.
(CLEARS THROAT)
The point isn't to live like a monk.
It's easy to be skinny on a desert island.
I know. I know. I know.
It's not like booze or drugs. You
don't have to shut it off completely.
Jesus, I'll start dating.
Don't just say that to shut me up.
What do you want me to say?
I don't want you to say anything.
I want you to do.
Okay, fine. I'll do it.
Do. Date.
You are?
Yes. I'm doing it.
Yeah? Good.
Why couldn't I have
picked an easy sponsor?
Why? -I don't know. Maybe
you wanted to recover.
Why are you riding me?
(LAUGHS)
Here. This is for you.
Ah...
Subtle.
Oh, if you want to bust my balls...
No! No, no, no! I love it!
Are you kidding me?
I always wanted
one of your touchy-feely rocks.
I want one.
I want a touchy-feely rock, too.
So fucking earn it.
So I'm going to hear
your first step after this, right?
Oh, shit.
Neil.
Dude, I've been working
on it all week.
I totally, totally forgot
that we were doing that today.
You do remember
why you're in this program, right?
Free bagels?
You were court ordered.
Frottage.
Mmm. I know.
Unconsensual touching of other people.
(WHISPERS) I know.
Listen, Neil, you gotta do the work.
You have to do whatever it takes.
You think I like
not having a television or a laptop?
It fucking blows. But guess what?
It's saving my life, so I do it.
Is any of this of interest to you, Neil?
Yes, it's all of interest to me.
Can we please move on?
I'll get it done this week. Thank you.
What happened to your face?
Nothing.
(PASSIONATE MOANS)
(SHUDDERING)
My fellow gastronauts.
I bring you good tidings
and good eatings.
Let's bug out.
(SIZZLING)
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
No, Pinocch, don't do it!
It's me, Jimmy. Put the stick down!
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Well, you
should have thought about that
before you ratted
me out to Geppetto.
(LAUGHS)
That's not my real voice.
Oh. Well, then sorry, I'm...
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
No! Come back!
(NORMAL VOICE) I'm Adam.
I'm Phoebe.
Hi, Phoebe.
You are a very cruel man, Adam.
Believe me, it hurts them
far more than it hurts me.
Don't you mean that
the other way around?
No, Phoebe, I don't.
(LAUGHS)
So what you making?
(SOFT MUSIC)
(INAUDIBLE)
Flip phone, huh?
Yeah.
You ever carbon
dated this thing?
What are you doing?
Don't be so slow,
Pinocchio.
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
(DOOR OPENING)
Mike.
Mike, there's someone
downstairs.
What?
(WHISPERING)
There's someone downstairs. Get up.
(RATTLING)
(SCRAPING)
(RATTLING)
Whoa, dad!
It's me.
Danny?
I used the Hide-a-Key.
What the fuck are you doing here?
I wanted to come see you guys.
So you just decided
you'd stop by for a midnight chat?
I've been driving all day.
I didn't have a chance...
So you're hungry.
So you figured
you'd eat our food and then Rob us.
I'm not going to Rob you, Dad.
I haven't used in eight months.
Yeah, right.
I wouldn't believe me either,
I guess, but it's true.
You know how I know
an addict is lying?
His lips are moving.
Mom up there?
She's sleeping.
Danny?
Hey, Mom.
Danny!
Hey.
(GASPS)
Oh!
Oh, my...
Look at you! (LAUGHS)
MIKE: Kid's stolen money,
sports equipment, his mom's necklace.
Never once said he's sorry.
(SIGHS)
You know, I've tried to
get him in the rooms.
And you know what they say,
"This is a program for people that
want it, not for people who need it."
Hi. Dede. New to the program.
Hi, Dede.
Hi, Dede.
Um...
There's a lot of dudes in here.
Sorry, my other program
isn't such a sausage fest.
(LAUGHTER)
Um...
My Na sponsor said I needed
to come here because...
(SIGHS) "Tell the truth
and tell it fast."
The only way
I know how to relate to men is sex.
It's been that way forever.
I can remember my mom screaming at me
for grinding on my cousin
when I was, like, four years old.
I took my neighbor's virginity
by force when I was 12,
seduced my high school English teacher, got
him fired when he tried to break it off.
My 20s,
two abortions,
one long game of musical fuck chairs.
So now I'm 30, single,
no dude, no kids.
And I just lost my best friend in the
whole world because I fucked her old man.
I didn't even like the douchebag.
But that's What I do.
There's gotta be another way.
There has to be,
or I'm gonna fucking kill myself.
So that's what I got.
Thanks.
Keep coming back.
MEN: Keep coming back.
At this meeting, we give out chips
to recognize and celebrate sexual
sobriety and to help us in our recovery.
We have found through
our experience that sobriety
includes freedom from masturbation and
sex outside of a committed relationship.
Is anybody celebrating 30 days?
Good for you. Good going.
Anybody else, 30 days?
All right, all right!
Anybody else? Anybody else?
Thirty days?
Hey, Friar Tuck. What's going on?
Friar Tuck is going on a date.
Whoa!
Yeah.
Way to go!
Well, so what are we talking?
Male, female or shemale?
Hey, babe, you told me to get out there.
(CHUCKLES)
Well, I'm proud of you.
That's good news. That's good news.
You going to fellowship?
Uh, no, I can't.
I'm meeting up with my sponsee
to go over his first step.
Who, Shecky Greene?
So let's get started. Got your book?
Yeah, my book. Um, so here's the deal.
I didn't really get to...
It's okay. Just let me see it.
I'm operating on, like,
four hours of sleep.
It's fine. We'll just... We'll get it.
We'll get started.
I just... I would have liked
a little bit more time.
Is this it?
Um...
I didn't get a chance
to do what I wanted to do.
ADAM: So, no.
I'm gonna have a lot more time
this week to work on it.
No, man. This isn't
gonna work for me.
What do you want?
Mmm-mmm. No.
Look, you're wasting my time.
This is a complete waste of my time.
I'm sorry, I can't do this.
I can't work with you.
Take it. Take the book.
You can't...
What, are you dropping me?
I am sorry. What else...
What other choice do I have, really?
I just got a 30-day chip in there,
and you're firing me?
Neil...
No, that is all sorts of fucked up, man.
Neil, I told you from the beginning
that you had to do the work.
You haven't done
a single thing in this book.
Try doing my job.
What are you talking about?
This is bullshit.
Are you out of your mind?
I need this, okay?
I need you to sign
my court card.
Ah, there it is. That's what this is about?
That's not what this is about.
Don't worry, Neil.
The chairperson can sign your card.
You don't need me and
I don't need this.
MAN: The pages are
all stuck fucking together.
If it wasn't you, then who?
Who the fuck brought my book outside?
Who the fuck left my book outside?
Who?
Who?
Just tell me who.
If it wasn't you, then who?
Who?
Who? You know what...
Shut the fuck up!
Asshole.
What's all this?
Danny's making us breakfast.
Oh. This will be interesting.
(SOFTLY) I have not seen my son in years.
Can you try not chasing him away?
DANNY: Here we go.
Ooh!
Breakfast la Danny.
Look at this.
It's so fancy.
What's this gonna cost us?
Nothing.
KATIE: Okay.
There's some butter there
if you want it, Ma.
Oh, thank you.
Mmm.
This is really good.
I tried to get yours back,
but, uh...
Oh, honey.
It's the best I could do.
(SIGHS)
Will you put it on me?
DANNY: Yeah, of course.
So, yeah, I mean, after my
stretch, I bounced around a lot.
I worked an oil rig off
the Gulf of Mexico,
picked spinach in Central
Valley, California.
(LAUGHS) Really?
Yeah. Just basically saw the country.
And you've been sober the whole time?
Yeah.
Just white-knuckling it?
Yeah, you know,
not everybody needs to go with AA, Dad.
Oh, is that right?
Yeah, some people
don't need a group to Lean on.
Some people can do it on their own.
Hmm.
Hasn't been my experience.
You want more coffee?
Yes, please.
What?
Hey.
Hello.
Hello.
If I knew we were gonna be racing, I
would have worn my Livestrong bracelet.
You know,
this actually might be a good time
to tell you that
I had breast cancer five years ago.
Oh, God, really?
Yeah.
Uh...
(CHUCKLES)
That's a tough break. I'm sorry.
Yeah, it was.
But it's fine. I'm fine now, so...
I'm glad to hear that.
So I see you're perspiring a Tad.
I just ran a 10K.
Okay, my initial reaction is to say,
"Well, I just ran a marathon."
But I can't tell
if you're joking or if you're serious.
I'm as serious as cancer.
Wait, you just ran a 10K?
Mmm-hmm. I'm training for
the New York Triathlon.
Okay, we need a system here,
(LAUGHS)
some signs to signify.
So when we're serious,
we have to do this.
Oh, I love that. Okay. Yes, Adam, I'm
serious. I'm training for a triathlon.
Okay. Okay, you seriously
scare/impress me.
(LAUGHS) Thank you.
Oh, and when we're
joking, we can do that.
Did you just pay homage to The Sting?
My God, you're hot.
No, you're hot.
Oh.
What? No, you are.
You're actually very hot.
Thanks.
You're extremely hot.
(LAUGHTER)
Let's do this.
Okay.
I'm just getting warmed up here.
I'm ready to go now.
(ADAM PANTING)
How you doing back there?
I'm fine. I'm just drafting.
Okay.
Doctor.
Um, can I talk to you for a second?
Um, sure.
Yeah, you know, I just...
(CLEARS THROAT)
I really wanted to
apologize for all the
joking around and stuff
that I do around here.
You know, I think it's really,
to be honest, like, a defense mechanism.
You know, for all the pressures
we have here as doctors.
Thank you.
Thank you, that's good to hear.
I think it's also a... (CLEARS THROAT)
I think it's also
kind of a product of my childhood.
My mom, God bless her,
she's still alive, but, you know, she was
really sick a lot when I was growing up.
She had IBS, bad,
and the only thing that
really made her feel
better was when I
would make her laugh.
Apology accepted, okay?
Now if you'll excuse me...
Oh!
(TEARING)
Uh, wait...
Uh, so I think we can go ahead
and untuck that now.
But that's part of my
intended ensemble.
Okay. And then I'll tuck it back in.
Nice re-tucking. (LAUGHS)
Would you care
for a little GU?
Goo?
Mmm-hmm.
I'm new to goo. I...
(LAUGHS) Oh, dear.
Hmm.
You kind of got some
on your face there.
Oh, did I get it?
Lower. Lower.
It's still there?
Nope. It's on your Chin.
My Shin?
It's on your Chin.
My Chin. Which one?
Uh, just, uh... Right...
Oh, oh.
That...
Right there.
I think I need a drink.
I think I need one, too.
Wait, you're not an
alcoholic, are you?
No. Why?
Okay.
No, because
my last boyfriend was an alcoholic,
and I promised myself
I'd never date an addict again.
Well, I'm not an alcoholic.
Great.
So my son got really
upset the other day
'cause I told him he had to
stop playing and do his homework.
And I understand how he feels,
but I couldn't say to him,
like, you know, "Don't you think."
"I'd rather be alone with a jar of blow
and a couple of transsexual hookers?"
(SIGHS)
Not that he would know...
I mean, he doesn't know
what the word "jar" means, but...
Neil.
(EXHALES) Hey. Neil. Sex addict.
Hi, Neil.
Hi, Neil.
Hey.
I dreamed of being a doctor
since I was 10 years old.
It all started with ER.
I knew I could never be George
Clooney, but Anthony Edwards...
(LAUGHTER)
Bald, glasses, saving lives like
a superhero, that I could do.
So I worked nonstop for many years
with no social life, and I finally did it.
I became a doctor.
I was really good at it, too.
Until I got fired yesterday
for filming up my boss' skirt.
Mmm.
I told her it was for a documentary
called What the Ground Sees.
(CHUCKLING)
Oddly enough, she didn't buy it.
Stop fucking around, asshole!
It's not funny anymore, is it?
Nope.
I've been lying about my day count
this entire time.
I've never actually
even gotten one day.
I can't lie anymore.
Not to you, not to myself.
So from now on,
no more bullshit.
Just the truth.
And the truth is...
I'm out of control.
I'm scared.
And I need help.
I need help.
Okay, Neil, if we're gonna do this
again, then you gotta give me 150%.
Okay.
And since you're not working,
you have to do a 90 in 90.
What is that?
Ninety meetings in 90 days.
Okay.
Call me every day.
Fine.
You pray every day.
(SIGHS) I'm kind of an atheist.
All right.
Okay! All right, fine.
Dude, I'll do whatever I gotta do.
Listen to me.
Higher power doesn't have to be some
old dude with a beard in the sky, okay?
It just has to be something
that's bigger than you.
I'm pretty big.
And no more lame jokes, all right?
Okay.
Stop that shit.
Okay.
No subway, no Internet.
Are you fucking serious, dude?
I am serious, are you?
Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.
No. No worries.
Not a problem.
I can... I'll talk to you later.
We'll talk and I'll... You can call me.
That was a stupid share, dude.
Ow! Oh, thanks.
I love when people just bring it.
It was... You were, like,
an open wound out there.
It was... Your guts
were flopping out all over the place.
Thanks.
That was some inspiring shit, yo.
Yeah.
I'm Dede.
I know who you are.
Can I get your number?
My sponsor told me to get numbers, but
I'm not good at that reaching out shit.
It's...
You ready?
Yeah. Okay. Um...
45-4-6.
Okay.
5-5-5.
Yeah.
Zero-uno-cuatro-niner.
646-555-0149.
Dude, you're a doorbell. Ding Dong.
I'm gonna call you.
I'm gonna friggin' answer.
How's it going with the girl?
Good. We had our first date.
Oh, nice.
Is she a friend of Bill?
No, she's a civilian. She's
great, she's funny, she's smart.
And you're a shallow prick,
so she must be gorgeous.
No, man, at this point in my sobriety, I
don't even notice the externals of a woman.
Yeah, fuck you, Deepak.
I'm just focused
right in on her heart and soul.
Yeah, right.
I swear.
Yeah.
You know if it keeps going well,
you got to tell her, right?
Yeah.
Full disclosure.
I'm a little worried about that.
Well, worry is just a
meditation on shit.
(INDISTINCT TV CHATTER)
Good morning.
Morning.
So, um...
What the fuck, Danny?
Building you guys a koi pond.
Koi pond?
Yeah.
Thought it would go good with the whole,
you know, Zen vibe you guys got going on.
Just curious, you ever think about
running the idea by someone first?
Like, I don't know,
maybe the guy who owns the backyard?
Well, you know, I wanted
it to be a surprise.
Oh, it is.
So fish go in there?
Yeah.
You know, koi, those big orange carp.
I know what koi are.
So what happens in the winter when
they freeze their little koi nuts off?
No, look, I built one for
a guy in Michigan.
You just poke a hole in the ice.
It's no problem.
You sure about that?
Trust me.
You're gonna love it, Dad.
God.
Yeah, can I get someone to remove
this television from my room, please?
No, it's not broken.
I just don't want it here. Thanks.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Here you go.
Did you block the...
Yeah, boss.
You're all good. You're blocked.
So you want to go get dinner?
Uh, no, I've got to make a call.
Ooh! Nice flourish.
Wait, what are you eating?
Just a little healthy
plate of veggies.
Hold up your plate again.
What?
I just want to see something.
Aw, look at your cute little plate with
your vegetables all segregated and such.
Yeah, I just don't think that
foods of different color should mix.
Hey, I hear you.
Separate but equal. Plessy v. Ferguson.
God, I really like you.
And I don't like anybody.
I know, right?
I hate everyone except for you.
Me, too.
(WHISPERS)
I thought about you last night.
Yeah?
Actually, I thought
about you three times.
Whoa.
Have you ever "thought" about me?
(CHUCKLES)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Oh, um, hold on a second.
Oh, yeah. Hey, come on in.
I unplugged it already.
Okay. Sony about that.
Where did we leave off?
Are they taking the
TV out of your room?
What?
What are you, Amish?
Yes, and I was hoping to escort you
to a barn raising upon my return.
(LAUGHS) Oh, my God, seriously, why
are they taking the TV out of your room?
I just can't have it in my room.
And why not?
(SIGHS)
You, uh...
You know when you don't
have control over something?
Um...
No. I have control over
everything in my life.
I'm kidding. I'm sorry. Go ahead.
Well...
(CHUCKLES)
I just...
I can't have any distractions
on these business trips.
(GASPS) Like me?
No. Like TV.
(SCRAPING)
Hey, what's going on?
Owner said my seams suck.
Been sanding this shit for two days.
Welcome to residential construction.
Hey, I'm not complaining though.
I mean, I know
you're taking a flyer on me and all.
No, seriously, I just want to say how much
I appreciate what you're doing for me.
Hey. United, we stand.
Divided, we stagger.
(SNIFFLING)
(CRIES) It's just that...
Hey, hey, hey.
Ever since I put the liquor down,
the slightest thing makes me start
crying like a little bitch.
I get these, uh, feelings
coming up inside of me, you know?
Mmm.
Feelings are like children.
You don't want them
driving the car, but you
don't want to stuff them
in the trunk, either.
Where do you get this shit?
Meetings.
Lots and lots and lots of meetings.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(SIGHS)
Hey, Mom. I'm kind of busy right now.
That's funny.
I wasn't too busy
to give birth to you 28 years ago.
(SIGHS) I'm sorry. How are you?
So Judy Berger's son, Howard,
is doing his premed at Tufts,
and he's thinking about
going into emergency medicine.
So I told her that you
would take him around
one day next week,
show him the ropes.
(COUGHS)
No! I can't.
Why not?
We're gearing up for our yearly reviews.
It's just a really bad time.
Yeah, but I promised her. I promised her.
Hang on, Mom.
What? Code blue?
She's counting on...
Get him into trauma room three stat!
I'll be right there!
I gotta go, Mom!
(SIGHS)
(UPBEAT DRUM MUSIC)
(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
Hold on.
Hey, Neil.
Where have you been, man?
Dude, I'm losing it.
What's happening?
Everything in this goddamn city
makes me want to act out.
Get to a meeting.
Yeah, lam, lam. I'm going right now.
Good.
Uh, Neil, how are
you getting there?
(GRUNTS)
That's good.
Good to see you, brother.
It's looking good.
Can I get you some iced tea? Hungry?
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
Yeah. Tea sounds good.
David, what's up?
Oh, shit.
All right. Well, don't get into
it with him. I'll be right there.
All right. I'm sorry. Okay.
Guy on the job just slipped.
I gotta go.
Come on, you guys are having fun.
Stay and finish.
It's all right, Ma.
If he's gotta go, he's gotta go.
He doesn't have to go.
He wants to go.
Don't make a thing of this, okay?
The guy's having a
nervous breakdown.
You wanna go with me?
(SCREAMING)
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Chuck!
(GRUNTS)
Whoa. Whoa.
Put this down.
Put that down! Put that down!
Thinks he can talk to me like that?
Fuck you!
David, I'm sorry. He's off the job.
This is coming out of my pocket.
Yeah, no shit it will.
You got a new window now, bitch!
Okay. All right.
Fuck you!
Give me a hand here?
Look at me! Stop it!
Stop it!
Hey. Look at me.
We're gonna go now.
You okay to go?
You okay to go?
Yeah.
All right, come on.
We're not gonna do anything stupid.
We're gonna walk out of here, okay?
Yeah.
All right? Look at me.
We're gonna do this, all right?
(INAUDIBLE)
Now he's all right?
Yeah.
Sorry I've been a shitty son, Dad.
Sorry for all the lying
and the stealing...
The worry and all the bullshit.
I don't...
I don't want to disappoint you
anymore, Pop.
I want you to be proud of me.
Hey.
Jesus, you're beautiful.
What time is our reservation?
About a half an hour.
Plenty of time.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC)
Yes, my tits are fake.
That's what happens
when your real ones try to kill you.
Is that what they mean
by a booby prize?
(LAUGHS)
I have been wanting to do that
since the bug party.
Oh, God. Me, too.
(MOANS)
I'm really sorry for my brevity.
It's just been a really long time for me.
Yeah, right.
A gorgeous, single hetero
with a job in Manhattan?
No, I'm serious.
It's been really long.
Hey.
Will you go with me?
Where?
You know, like, exclusively?
You and me?
Oh, yeah.
Totally.
Really?
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Mmm.
Oh, no, our reservation.
Oh, it's fine.
We still have, like, 28 minutes.
(LAUGHTER)
(OBJECT CLATTERS)
Oh, hey.
(SIGHS)
Is that a sobriety medallion?
Yeah.
I had been in recovery
for five years.
For what?
Sex addiction.
What?
I'm sorry. I know I should
have told you. I've
been meaning to tell
you for a long time.
Is that even a thing? Is that like...
Isn't that something that guys just say as
an excuse when they get caught cheating?
No. No. It's not an
excuse, it's a disease.
I don't understand
why you didn't just tell me.
I don't understand.
I told you right away
that I had had cancer.
Why didn't you tell me?
It's different. There's a stigma.
There's no stigma to cancer?
Cancer gets you sympathy.
My thing gets you judgment.
Okay, do you remember when on our
first date, when you said to me
that you couldn't date another addict
and you wouldn't date another addict?
So there I am, I'm having a great time
with a woman that I really like,
and I'm thinking, "Oh, fuck!"
"I don't want this to be over
before it even gets to be started."
Phoebe, I'm sorry.
I should have told you sooner.
I know I should have.
But I'm telling you
now, and I promise you
from now on, it'll be
full disclosure, okay?
(GRUNTS)
I just...
(EXHALES)
I need some time to just
think about all this.
Okay, I understand.
MAN: Just get a pen, douchebag.
Just get a fucking pen
and a piece of paper.
Get a pen.
Get a pen.
This guy...
Hey, pal! Take it inside, will you?
We're trying to meditate here.
Yeah? Fuck you!
What'd you say?
Why don't you come over the fence?
I'll shove that fucking thing up your ass!
Take it inside!
(CHUCKLES)
What?
I was just remembering how when you were
a kid, you used to love to wrestle me.
Oh, yeah.
Cute little honey badger
hanging on my leg. (HISSES)
(CHUCKLES)
You used to pin me in,
like, one move every damn time.
Yeah, I could probably still do that.
Maybe... I don't know,
maybe take me two, three moves.
Yeah? You think so? Two or three?
You know, I'm...
Well, I'm getting old. So...
Yeah.
I can't do the one anymore.
Yeah, all right.
You motherfucker!
(LAUGHS)
Oh, shit! You're big!
Whoa!
Oh, shit.
You okay?
Fuck.
You all right?
My God.
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHS)
One! Two!
Three! Oh!
All right, all right, all right.
Winner and still champion!
You fucking sandbagged me.
That's bullshit.
I'm too fast.
I'm too pretty.
(LAUGHS) All right, that's it.
Round two, let's go.
You're going down, old man.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
Come on.
Oh, shit.
Oh, you got a phone call.
Yeah.
My sponsee.
Hey, Adam, what's up?
Let me go somewhere I can talk.
Rain check.
It's just all so fucking
complicated, man. I just...
I really am feeling like
just grabbing a fuck-it
bucket and going down
in a blaze of Glory.
You know what I'm saying?
Hold on. Hold on. Whoa, whoa.
Listen, Adam.
If I may, you have a slight tendency to
live in the, shall we say, extremes.
Look, life is gonna
throw shit at you.
There's gonna be disappointments,
betrayals,
and I know it hurts
like a back alley colonoscopy.
But look, whether it's this
girl or the next girl,
you need to find someone that accepts
the whole you, warts and all.
Listen, I gave Katie Hep C, and she
stuck it out with my sorry ass.
You really are a lucky son of a bitch.
You do know that, don't you?
I do know that.
And I'm grateful for it every day.
And you will be, too.
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Uh, yeah, hello?
Hey, Neil, it's Dede. Um, I met
you the other day at the meeting.
Yeah. Hey, how...
Can you talk? Is this a bad time?
No, no. Now's a good time.
What's going on?
My sponsor's not calling me back,
and I'm freaking the fuck out.
Okay, okay.
Well, um, what's happening?
My ex just called.
He wants me to come over.
The guy is a total lying, toxic sack of
shit, but I really wanna go fuck him.
Well, you know, that's maybe not good.
That's not good, I think.
So let's just, um...
Let's talk this through.
Uh, all right, what would happen
if you went over there?
It would be a shit show.
Be specific now. What would happen?
I'd get inside and he'd attack me.
Right. And after that?
He'd rip my pants off
and start eating me out.
Wait. What? What?
'Cause that's his thing.
I mean, the guy's,
like, a fucking pussy fanatic.
No, after that, skipping ahead.
We'd fuck like animals.
No, I'm talking after all of that,
after you finish.
How would you feel?
You mean, like, emotionally?
Yes.
I'd be all open and
vulnerable and shit,
and he'd be a million miles away,
back with his family.
And then?
Then I'd be so depressed,
I'd call up my guy.
And?
And a half hour later, I'm using.
See where this goes?
Yeah.
Good.
But I want to so bad.
No, Dede, don't. Where are you?
Outside his place.
What? No!
I can't help it.
All right. Listen to me, okay?
I want you to turn around
and go someplace safe.
What's near you?
I don't know.
Think!
Okay, fuck! The salon where
I work is pretty close.
Where is it?
(YELLS) Tell me!
Damn, dude.
You just got all Jack Bauer on me.
(HORNS HONKING)
Seriously?
You know what? Forget it.
I'm just gonna get out here.
Thank you. How much?
Yeah. Here you go.
(UPBEAT FOLK MUSIC)
(HORN HONKS)
(PANTING)
(GRUNTS)
Hi. Can I help you?
(WEAKLY) Dede. Where's Dede?
Do you have an appointment?
Holy shit, Neil.
I made it.
Are you okay?
Lester hands paper.
What?
(VOMITS)
Ugh.
You seem better.
Trade ya.
Sorry I went all Linda Blair on you.
Here you go. Thank you.
It's the least I can do.
You saved my ass.
Come on.
I'll give you a shave while you wait.
Can I ask you a question?
Sure.
So, what are your, like,
you know, I don't know...
What's your big trigger?
I don't know.
For me, it's, like, when I'm sad,
I wanna have sex...
So if you...
Or if I'm happy, or tired, or bored.
So pretty much just emotions?
You get the point.
What about you?
Me, yeah, you know...
I'd say my big thing is anxiety.
Yeah, that's a big one.
Yeah, I'm pretty much anxious all the
time, so it's just, like... (LAUGHS)
Whoa. Hey. What are you doing?
Am I making you anxious?
No, seriously, what
the fuck are you doing?
Relax.
I'm about to give you
the best shave of your life.
Please don't hurt me.
Don't make me laugh.
You got a weapon to my throat.
Why would I do that?
(CHUCKLES)
You know, it's weird, but from the moment
you answered, I started to feel better.
Oh, come on. Don't...
I'm completely serious. I swear, it's true.
You know, when you called, I was, urn,
this close to losing my day count.
Really?
Wow.
Sounds like we both had a God shot.
Yeah, you know, the whole higher power
thing kind of trips me up a little bit.
I mean, I don't know if I believe it.
You know, my sponsor
tells me that it's just
gotta be about something
bigger than me,
but I don't know what that means.
Well, don't over-think it.
It could be anything.
It's, like, service, like coming
here right now, helping me.
That's higher power.
Wow. You, like, literally transplanted
a baby's butt on my face.
That was so solid of you
to come all this way for me.
Thank you.
(SIGHS) Oh, God. That's right.
I almost forgot.
I have to get home
without using the subway.
Why don't you just use my bike?
No, I can't.
It's okay. I have another one.
No, I mean, I literally can't.
I'm not a good rider of bikes.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
(GRUNTING)
Aah, aah, aah, aah,
aah, aah, aah.
(BRAKES SQUEAK)
(GRUNTS)
(FABRIC RIPS)
Hey, move your shit, fat girl.
I'm a guy, asshole!
(POUNDS CAR)
I'm a fat guy!
Yield, please.
Who lives like this? (GRUNTS)
Hey, sorry.
(EXHALES)
Hey. How's it going?
I'm gonna finish this 90 in
90 if it kills me. Good.
But just remember,
one day at a time.
Biking now?
Can't forget to tuck in the cuff, man.
Yeah. Yeah, I know.
That's a nice helmet you got there.
Thank you. Appreciate it.
What shade of pink is that again?
I'm gonna get a new one, okay?
It matches your shirt.
Fuck you, dude.
You're the one who told me
I couldn't take the subway anymore,
so now I'm out there in the streets, biking
for my life like fuckin' Il Postino.
Okay. I'm sorry.
Why are you riding me?
I'm sorry.
I'm just... I'm going through
some stuff right now.
(SIGHS) It's fine. I'm sorry.
I just haven't jerked
off in over a week.
You know, I just feel like
one giant blue ball right now.
(CHUCKLES) Right.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
Yo, two after. Can we do this?
Okay, Adam, I'm gonna need, like, some
specifics here, so that I can understand.
You really wanna look
under that rock?
I mean, if we're gonna do this,
you know, I gotta know.
Oh, God, um...
Compulsive masturbation.
(SIGHS) Hitting on every girl
that I come across.
Lots of one-night stands.
Juggling multiple girlfriends.
Prostitutes?
Prostitutes, yeah.
I'm sorry.
It's hard for me to picture you like that.
That's it. That's the disease.
It makes you do things that violate
everything that you believe in.
I wanted to stop so badly,
I can't tell you, but I couldn't.
I understand. I just...
The thing that scares me,
if I'm honest,
is how do you know
you're not gonna fall off the wagon?
All I can say to you is this.
I have been sober for five years.
It is the most important
thing in my life.
And I am not planning
to let anything fuck that up.
Okay.
I'm just gonna go in there, pick up
my laundry and tell her my truth.
Fuckin' A you are.
Thanks for bookending this with me, Dede.
Thanks for letting me be of service.
Now, go tell Mommy you're
a sex addict.
(DEEP BREATH)
Hi.
Hi, Mom.
Honey.
Hey.
(KISSING)
What's... Okay.
Why are you so sweaty?
I rode my bike here. Can I, uh...
Since when do you bike?
Uh, since yesterday...
Can I come in for a second?
Can we talk about something?
Yeah, sure. But I just need you
to change one light bulb first.
I mean, why should I even have this
big house if you're never gonna be home?
(SIGHS) Okay, so, Mom, there's
something I need to talk to you about.
What's going on back here?
What?
All this sweat and schmutz
in your tuchus. What is it?
It's from the bike seat.
Well, I can't take it. It's disgusting.
Mom!
What? You're, like,
a homeless in these pants.
Okay, can you please just
listen to me for one second?
No. Take them off.
Just take them off.
Okay, take these off.
I'll wash 'em for you.
(UNZIPS)
(SOFT PIANO MUSIC)
Okay, so it was one of those things where
you work out, and then you're perspiring,
and you take a shower, but not
for long enough, apparently.
'Cause I'm giving
this presentation,
and I was, like, schvitzing
like a Russian gangster.
It was...
What?
Nothing.
This is nice.
No PDA?
Oh, no. Yes. Yes, on the PDA.
Yes?
Most definitely, yes.
Okay.
Well, what about if I do this?
Oh, yeah, always.
Really?
Yeah.
What if I just wanna
kind of upgrade it to, like...
Aah, oh, yeah.
Ooh, like a TMJ.
Yeah...
(MUTTERS AND LAUGHS)
(BOTH LAUGH)
What if I... But what
if I go like this? Is that...
Yeah, do that forever.
Really?
Even when I'm an old, stinking man
with claw-like, arthritic claw hands?
Will you love me then?
(LAUGHS)
BECKY: Adam.
You're killing me.
Hey.
Becky.
Yeah, I know.
I remember.
Oh, my God.
It's been years.
How are you?
Do you still have
that great apartment downtown?
Yep. Still in the same place.
This is Phoebe.
Hello.
Have you seen his place?
(CLEARS THROAT)
Yes, I have, and it is great.
Great. Good.
Good seeing you, Becky.
"Hint, hint, Becky, leave now."
(GIGGLES)
It's nice to see you,
too, Adam.
Here we are.
Make yourself at home.
I'm gonna go change.
(SENSUAL MUSIC)
Hey, baby.
You want a dance?
Yeah.
Hey, let's ease...
Just kiss me, okay?
Ah, you know the rules.
No touching.
(EXHALES)
Hey. (INHALES DEEPLY)
What's wrong?
(EXHALES)
Uh, listen, I, uh...
(EXHALES)
This is taking me to places
where I've been in the past,
where I just don't
wanna go right now.
I'm sorry.
It's all right. I know you...
I mean, you gotta be careful, I get that.
But, I mean, aren't we allowed
to be a little playful?
Absolutely.
Adam, I am a very
sexual person,
and I'm gonna need to be able to
express that side of myself with you.
Oh, and I want you to, believe me.
I just would like to take it
a little bit more slowly.
Did Becky go slow?
(CLASSICAL MUSIC)
Italia!
Oh, shit!
Yeah, it's looking good.
Yeah.
Yeah, there it goes.
Finish it up.
Hey, so you really want me there?
I mean, I can find somewhere else...
No, I want you to meet Adam.
He's a good guy.
He's got a good head. He's smart.
Smart? Like, I'm gonna
need a thesaurus to...
No, I'm just saying that
he's been through some hard times,
and now he's doing great.
Hard times.
And he's bringing his new lady
friend over. You'll like him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I get it. Positive role model.
Jesus, Danny, it's just dinner.
Just show up and eat the food.
God, this house is amazing.
I love all the woodwork and stuff.
It's so beautiful.
When was the house built?
Um... Uh, 1898.
Oh.
I've been renovating it since then.
(LAUGHS)
You've done a really great job.
It's very homey. It's nice.
KATIE: We like it.
MIKE: Thank you.
You know, let's start. It's, you
know, family style. Here we go.
Um... Oh, wow. That's... No, that's way
too much for me. Here, babe, let's...
Oh, how much do you want?
I'll just serve myself, it's fine.
I just, uh...
What are you, a smurf?
(LAUGHS)
ADAM: Here we go.
First off, you could not
pay me enough to do a triathlon.
Secondly, and furthermore,
I cannot believe you are voluntarily going
to swim in the Hudson fuckin' River.
(LAUGHS) Mike.
What? Honey, she's a big girl.
Sorry about the language.
That's okay. I accept your fucking apology.
Ooh.
(LAUGHTER)
MIKE: Oh, now
you owe me an apology.
Sorry I'm late.
There was an accident on the BQE.
The food was getting cold, so we started.
KATIE: I'll make you a plate.
That's all right.
Don't worry about it.
I'm not hungry anyway.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
So Adam told me that you guys
were high school sweethearts.
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
God, we were stupid.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
What?
I was just thinking about
what my life would've been like
if I had married my high
school sweetheart.
(LAUGHS) Scary, huh?
Horror movie scary.
(LAUGHS)
Yeah, Mike and I,
we just got lucky.
Lucky's good.
Well, you may be
getting lucky.
Adam is a good guy.
Yeah, he is.
Hey.
(SNIFFLES)
What's wrong?
I just think I'm worried about
this whole addict thing, you know?
Mmm-hmm.
I mean, I just...
Do you ever worry
that you'll be just humming along,
and then he's just gonna
veer off back into the darkness?
In my experience,
the only way that I can do this
is just to keep the focus on myself.
Meaning?
Meaning, um...
What about my side
of the street?
What are my issues that I
have to deal with?
After all, I picked an addict,
that says something.
Yeah, so, I mean, it's pretty
much self-sustaining, you know?
The fish, they do their thing
in the water, and that...
Yeah, and then the phytoplankton
eat the fish's waste,
and then they create oxygen,
which the fish use,
so it's, like, a closed loop, right?
Yeah. Exactly.
Adam's an environmental wizard.
Is that right?
You know, I had a cell mate once
who thought he was a warlock.
(CHUCKLES)
So...
So nice job on the girl.
I like her a lot.
Oh, yeah.
I really like her. I think
this might have legs.
Hey, listen, if it works out,
no one will be happier than me.
And if you don't make me the best man,
I will fuck up your wedding.
Mike, you're the best, man.
What are you saying?
I'm the best man, or I'm, like...
You're the best...
Man.
(BOTH LAUGH)
That's not a committal.
You're not committing.
I will fuck up your wedding.
You're the best man.
I will fall into the wedding cake.
You are the best, man.
I will be the one
that will not forever hold his peace.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Hey.
You think I could be your best man
when you two get married?
Nothing? All right.
(TRIPPY MUSIC)
Wow.
A lot of smells going on in here.
You getting that?
It's like patchouli
mixed with Bo and hugs.
Hey, Judgie Judgerstein,
I'm glad you could make it.
You know, I'm not really a
dancer so much as a Walker.
You gotta let your spontanuity go.
I don't think that's actually a word.
(SHUSHES) Relax.
Ecstatic dancing is not
about looking good.
It's about getting in touch
with your higher power.
You're gonna make me find this higher
power even if it kills ya, huh?
Relax, babe. Let your
inhibitions run wild.
I don't think inhibitions can...
I like that Phoebe, babe.
And I like her for him.
I think they could make it.
What do you think?
I'm not so sure.
What are you talking about?
I don't know. I'm just not so sure.
Are you kidding me?
You didn't see
how they were looking at each other?
That's the same kind of look we used to
give each other, like, 30 years ago.
Have you seen my pain pills?
They're not in the cabinet?
No. Weird.
I don't fuckin' believe it.
Mike, you don't know that.
Gotta tell you, Mike
really liked you.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Believe me, he's a hard sell.
I'm glad I passed the test.
Oh, come on,
I didn't mean it like that.
What's the matter?
(SIGHS) Nothing.
I'm just cranky. I missed my run.
Oh, I know that's your drug.
Huh?
What? Nothing.
I know another way
to get endorphins going.
Oh, God,
I'm about to crash.
I have a 7:30 breakfast.
I'll make it up to you, I promise.
(SCOFFS)
You don't have to promise me sex.
(TRIPPY MUSIC)
(ADAM CHUCKLES)
Sounds like you had
a really good time.
You know, I don't know
if I could approve
of you grinding up against
a bunch of sweaty undulating bodies.
No, no, no,
I'm in for the night.
Uh, maybe I could get away
for a few minutes tomorrow at lunch.
Sounds like fun.
Okay, good.
Good night.
Hey. Did I wake you up?
Who was that?
Who are you talking to?
What?
Who are you on the phone with?
My sponsee.
Really?
At 2:00 in the morning?
Yeah, he was calling to check in.
Hmm.
Can I see your phone?
Are you serious?
You don't want me to see your phone?
No, and I resent you asking me to see it.
Which makes me think
that you're hiding something.
You know what, Phoebe?
This isn't gonna work
without a little bit of trust.
Let me see your phone.
No.
Give me your phone.
No.
Just give me your phone.
I'm not letting you...
Just give me the fuckin' phone.
(SIGHS)
(DROPS PHONE)
Happy?
What's going on with you?
What's going on with you, Adam?
What is going on?
I feel like
you're starting to pull away from me.
I mean, am I crazy?
Yeah, you're right, I know.
So are you gonna talk to me about it?
Yeah.
(DEEP BREATH)
I guess, you know...
(SIGHS)
For me, for so long, you know,
sex was, like, this secretive Chase
for a fix, right?
And now, with us,
it's really hard for
me to connect that
to something that's
loving and intimate and real.
(STAMMERS) And it's not you.
What?
What?
I just don't...
I don't know if I can do this.
Why? Why not?
What do you mean?
We can do it.
We just have to do the work.
Do the work?
Adam, we just met.
I mean, this is crazy.
We should be in the honeymoon phase.
What do you mean honeymoon?
Where do you get that from?
What, did you read that in a book?
Mmm, I think that I might...
(EXHALES)
What?
Need someone who's healthier.
Healthier?
Or not healthier, but...
No. Because I'm sick,
and you, you're healthy
with your compulsive exercising
and your crazy fucking food bullshit?
I think you're a really
great guy, Adam.
No, you think that I'm
a sick piece of shit.
But don't worry. You,
you're perfect, right?
What's up?
Honey, sit down.
What happened?
Did you take your
mom's pain pills?
Did I what?
Simple question.
Did you go into our bathroom
and steal your Mother's pills?
No. I told you guys, I'm clean.
Oh, then what happened?
Did they just sprout wings and fly away?
Mike, come on.
I'm never gonna be anything
but a fuck-up to you, am I?
Honey, we won't be mad.
Give us the goddamn pills.
What pills?
You mean the pills she has to take
'cause of what you gave her?
Those pills?
You watch your tone.
What tone, huh?
The tone I learned from you
when you used to come into my room at
night with your fuckin' Jameson's breath
and smack me around? That tone?
What are you talking about?
Right, Ma?
What are you talking about?
Say something!
Yeah, take his side
like you always fuckin' did.
Stop talking ancient history!
That always fuckin' worked.
We're talking about right now.
Good. Fine. Right now, I want an apology.
You want an apology?
Yeah.
You got some fuckin' stones, kid.
Apology for what?
For accusing me
of something I didn't fuckin' do!
Are you kidding me?
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
That's right, 'cause that would mean
admitting that you're wrong, wouldn't it?
Big Mike's never wrong.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about you, Mr. 12-Step.
You can go pretend that
you're Mr. Recovery
to all your sponsees
who think you're Jesus fucking Christ.
Guess what, Dad?
I know the truth about you.
You were a monster then.
You're a goddamn hypocrite now,
telling them to go make amends.
You've never even
made amends to your own son
for all the shit that you did to me,
all the shit that you put me through.
Yes, I did, I did.
You did? When did you ever
make an amends to me?
When?
That's right, never. You never did.
You can start right now.
Dad, say you're sorry to me.
I'm not saying I'm sorry to you.
Say you're sorry to me.
I am not saying I'm sorry to you.
Say you're fucking sorry to me!
I am not saying I'm sorry to you!
That's right,
'cause you're a fuckin' coward!
(KATIE GASPS)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
KATIE: Stop it!
(GRUNTS)
Stop it! Stop it!
(GRUNTS)
Aah!
(WHIMPERS)
(PANTING)
(DOOR SLAMS)
Hey, Mike, it's Adam.
Uh, yeah, I'm in DC for this
postal service meeting,
and I'm not doing so good, man.
Yeah, it's over with Phoebe.
And I'm having some really
dark thoughts here, brother.
So, can you give me a call
when you get this, please?
Okay, thanks, man. Bye.
Come on, come on.
Hey, Margo.
Hey, it's Adam.
How you doing?
Um, I'm great.
Hey, listen. Do you think I could
swing by there and grab the computer?
There's a couple edits
I wanna make on the, um...
Uh...
You know what? I'm fine. Let's just...
We'll bang it out in the morning.
Okay, good night.
Thanks, bye.
Fucking idiot.
(EXHALES)
(TENSE MUSIC)
(MOANING ON COMPUTER)
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
(MOANING ON COMPUTER)
(GRUNTING)
(EXHALES)
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Adam?
(MOANING)
Oh, yeah, slow.
Yeah, slow.
(TENSE MUSIC)
(MOANING)
(BOTH MOANING)
(DOOR UNLOCKING)
Hey.
Hi, baby.
I am so happy to see you.
Thanks for coming.
I was seriously bugging out.
Jesus. There's more shit than air in here.
Yeah, I know.
You gotta do something about this, dude.
This is not conclusive to your sobriety.
I think you mean conducive.
You got any garbage bags?
Yes. Yes, I do.
Hang on.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
Dude, explain this to me.
You're trying to stay sober
and you still have your porn collection?
Yeah, I'm really just stashing it up here.
I don't actually watch any of it anymore.
We need to get rid of this.
I know.
No. We need to get
rid of this now.
(DISTANT POLICE SIREN)
You okay with this?
It's like burying
an old friend.
Burning porn, My Lord
Kumbaya.
Really?
Neil's shit's burning,
My Lord.
Okay.
Kumbaya.
How am I gonna Jack off now,
My Lord?
Kumbaya.
Oh, Lord, Kumbaya.
You were a little high.
(CLEARS THROAT)
What's wrong?
I've never been just friends
with a guy before.
It's so...
What?
Hot.
I love you, big man.
I love you, too, small
tattooed woman.
Mmm.
(PILLS RATTLE)
I fucked up.
You always have to be right,
don't you, Mike?
Always.
Oh, really? You gonna start this?
Just get out.
Ah, fuck it. I'm gonna go.
Danny, come on, call us.
Your mom is worried.
Really? (YELLS) Really?
(CLEARS THROAT)
(COME CLATTER)
(CLINK)
Hey, it's Adam.
You wanna come by?
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
Give me a five scratches.
(SIGHS)
Uh, 3 Musketeers bar.
Is that it?
Yeah. Let me have, uh...
A bottle of bourbon,
fifth of bourbon.
Yeah.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hey.
What happened?
Where is he?
Katie, breathe.
(SOUND ECHOING)
(INDISTINCT FEMALE VOICE)
BECKY: (DISTORTED)
And then at the last minute,
this guy just, like, jumps
in front of me and takes my cab.
I go down to the subway.
I'm waiting for the subway for,
like, 20 minutes.
I get on, and after two
stops, they stop it,
and they say it's 'cause
of a sick passenger.
Like, how much of a Diva do you
have to be to stop a whole train?
The gumption, it's crazy.
Oh, I remember this place.
Oh, my God. I love this rug.
Are you sure you're not gay?
Pretty sure.
Whoa! Okay.
Give it a second.
You're so fucking hot.
Thank you.
Uh, time out.
Why don't you
make me a drink or something?
Oh, of course. I'm sorry. How rude of me.
What would the lady like?
Uh, the lady would like a glass of
red wine if the gentleman has one.
The lady's in luck.
I was so surprised when you called me.
Hmm.
It's been a very long time.
I'm glad you picked up.
(CHUCKLES)
So what was the deal with that girl?
Is she your girlfriend?
Ah, yeah, that's pretty much over.
Well, I'm glad you called.
Gives me an excuse to wear this
brand-new little dress I bought.
I know.
Yeah, I love this dress.
Yeah.
You don't think it's too short?
Mmm, not at all.
Really?
Mmm-hmm.
You don't think it's,
like, a little naughty?
I don't know.
I do.
Hmm?
I don't think I should be allowed
to go out like this, right?
No, you shouldn't.
Go on.
Go change your dress.
But I don't wanna change.
Becky, did you hear me?
I told you to go change, now.
Or what?
Becky, I said change your dress.
Fuck you. I'm not a child anymore.
Hey, this is my house.
Ow!
You're ruled by my rules.
Ow!
Daddy, stop it!
You're hurting me.
Becky, you gonna
change your dress?
No.
You wanna be a big girl?
Fine. I'll treat you like a big girl.
Oh! No, Daddy!
Yeah.
What are you doing? Stop.
Yeah.
You want me to stop, huh?
Just say it. I'll stop.
Go ahead, tell me to stop.
(PANTING)
Fuck me.
(MOANING)
Oh, yeah.
Ahh, okay, now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come on, slap me.
I'm not gonna slap you.
Fuckin' slap me.
I said I'm not gonna slap you.
Come on, fuckin' slap me,
you fucking pussy.
I'm not into that.
I'm not into that.
Okay?
Becky.
Fuckin' slap me. Come on!
Okay. Hey, hey, hey.
You know you want to. Fuckin' slap me!
Hey, hey.
Come on, fuckin' slap me!
Hey!
Fuckin' slap me!
Come on, fuckin' slap me!
(SHUSHES)
Listen to me.
Fuckin' slap me!
Stop it.
Fuckin' slap me!
Hey, hey.
Fuckin' slap me!
Stop, Stop.
(PANTING)
Stop.
Stop.
It's okay.
All right?
Are you all right?
I'm fine.
Come on, talk to me.
Don't touch me!
Hey, I...
Don't fucking touch me!
(SOBBING)
Hey, hey, hey. Hey.
(SOBBING)
Jesus Christ.
Becky?
Hey, Becky.
(SOBBING)
(SHUSHES)
It's all right. It's okay.
It's okay.
(SCREAMS) Get away from me!
(SOBBING)
(DOOR LOCKS)
What?
Becky, hey.
(CRYING)
Becky, come on.
Get away from me!
Open the door, okay?
Come on. Come on out of there.
Fuck.
Hey, come on. Talk to me.
(SOBBING)
Get away from me!
(METAL CLAN KS)
Hey, hey, hey. What are you doing in there?
What are you doing in there?
Hey, hey!
You know what? Becky, this isn't funny.
Come on now.
(SOBBING)
I can't take it.
(GROANS)
(BECKY MUTTERING)
Mike, I need your help.
Call me ASAP, man, seriously.
(BECKY SOBS)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Dude, where have you been?
I've been trying to call you.
Who?
What girl?
All right. Text me your address.
I'm on my way.
No!
Fuckin' animals!
You see who did this?
Fuck!
(HORN HONKS)
(SOUL MUSIC)
(MOUTHING)
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Dude.
Hey.
Where is she?
Right here, in the bathroom.
She's right there on the left.
Hey, uh...
Becky.
Becky, listen. My name is Neil.
I'm friends with Adam.
We're worried about you, sweetie.
How about you open the door?
(THUD)
Becky! Hey!
Becky!
Adam, move!
Oh, shit!
Becky. Come on.
No.
Talk to me, sweetie.
(BECKY GRUNTS)
Come on. You talk to me here.
(GROANS)
Call 9-1-1.
Adam, 9-1-1!
(GRUNTS)
Yeah, we need an ambulance quick
at 135 West 3rd Street, apartment 2B.
Young female,
polysubstance overdose.
Did you get that? Okay. Please hurry.
Stay with me, Becky.
Oh, man.
Dude, it's all right.
She's gonna be okay.
Ah...
(SIGHS)
Dude, you really are
Anthony Edwards.
Fuck that.
I'm George Clooney.
We're looking for our son, Danny Burns.
We've heard he's on the fifth floor.
On, baby.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine, Ma. Are you all right?
(CRYING)
(LAUGHS) Yeah, I'm...
(SNIFFLES)
Are you in pain?
No.
They got me on the good stuff.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
I didn't even have to steal it.
We know that you
didn't take the pills.
Right, Mike?
Will you tell him?
Fuckin' hysterical.
First drink or drug
in eight months.
I total the car.
I get arrested for DUI.
You must be fuckin'
loving this.
Look at you.
What's on your mind, Pop?
Why don't you tell me?
Tell me this is what I get
for white-knuckling it.
Huh?
(CRYING)
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
ADAM: Thanks for meeting me.
It's really good to see you.
Yeah, you, too.
I thought a lot about what happened, and,
uh, I wanted to clear the air between us.
Um...
I just wanna say that I really regret some
of the things I said to you that night.
I'm sorry.
I'm not.
It was good. I...
You forced me to look at myself.
I needed to hear it.
How'd that go?
Not so good, yeah.
Turns out, uh, I'm not perfect.
No, but you're pretty
fuckin' awesome.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Oh, God. It's not fair, you know?
What?
I still hate everybody but you.
(FOLK MUSIC)
I'm gonna ask you to sit
and listen to me for one second.
Things are going to
change between us.
From now on, I'm going to be a son.
I should do something for myself
to show that I love myself.
Give me the most damaged guy you could
find and I was, like, in heaven.
I'm halfway through
my ninth step list.
Just did my first wife.
That was fun.
(LAUGHTER)
I Miss acting out.
I do, I'm serious.
This disease won't let
me take a compliment
unless it comes from, like, I don't know,
a muscley, tattooed Latino man.
My wife would ask where I was, and I
would say I was at meetings at work,
and I led a double
life for a long time.
There are keep-coming-back chips
for newcomers and members wishing
to reaffirm their commitment to sobriety.
Is anyone celebrating 30 days?
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
You're welcome.
Five years.
I remember when I
couldn't get five days.
(CARS HONKING)
MIKE:
What's your name?
ADAM:
Hey. Adam. Sex addict.
ALL:
Hi, Adam.
(UPBEAT DRUM MUSIC)
I never want to get cocky
about this, you know?
I never want to be, like,
"Yo, look at me."
"I got it all. I got five years.
I got it all figured out."
I've had to make it a practice.
I have to remind myself every day
where this disease could take me.
I have to remember jonesing, feeling like I
was gonna fucking die if I didn't have sex.
I've got to be vigilant, you know?
I can't...
I can't be easy with
myself in this program.
So, yeah.
I am grateful to be sober today.
Thanks.
Thanks for letting me share.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
What are you doing?
Hey, I'm Neil. I'm a sexy...
I'm a sex addict.
(LAUGHTER)
Hi, Neil.
Hi, Neil.
Thanks so much for your share, Adam.
That's some powerful shit, man. Damn.
All right, so let me check in.
How am I doing? (EXHALES)
You know, I'm good, actually.
I'm feeling pretty good.
Work's good. Work's great.
All right, what do we got?
EMT: Twenty-something male
presenting polysubstance OD.
We gave him the Narcan, then he woke up,
starting pulling everything,
and then went out again.
Got it.
Sir?
Can you hear me?
Can you tell me your name, bud?
All right, belly's distended.
Let's get an IV set up
and then put a Foley in.
Put it in what?
Damn.
Looks like a bird egg in a nest.
Poor guy probably
needs a squirrel to jerk him off.
Don't you think?
(CHUCKLES)
It kind of looks like
an elevator button.
Third floor. Beep.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
Dr. Garalla?
Can I see you over here
for a second, please?
NEIL: You know, but I gotta say
it's working. Totally working.
I haven't touched myself in
about a month, which is crazy,
'cause I remember, you know, when I first
heard about the no masturbation rule,
I was, like, "Okay, should I
not breathe while I'm at it?"
(LAUGHTER)
Should I not breathe
while I'm at it?
All right, well, that wraps it up.
Thanks for letting me share.
Yeah.
Thanks. I'm Mike,
gratefully recovering sex addict.
Hi, Mike.
Hi, Mike.
I'm proud of you, birthday boy.
Really proud.
Thanks.
And I'm proud to be your sponsor.
So, what's going on with me?
Let's see.
Well, I'm grateful to be sober.
Been taking
some visual drinks on the streets.
Is it me, or is Manhattan
just one big fucking catwalk?
(LAUGHTER)
Mmm, hey.
Hey.
I'm really embarrassed to say this,
but I forgot your name.
(CHUCKLES)
You guys have heard me say this before.
This disease is a fucking bitch.
Now I have been sober
15 years in the beverage program.
No problem.
This thing is a whole
different animal.
It's like trying to quit crack
while the pipe's attached to your body.
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
Who serves stale bread?
It's completely stale.
Have you decided yet?
Uh, yeah, just one moment.
What's tempeh again?
Just order the pancakes, Mike.
Maybe I want to try something different.
You know what you should get?
It's the salmon scramble. It's so good.
This time I'm going to go for the
pancakes.
Get off my back.
How's work?
It's pretty good.
We just landed the postal service.
What?
Yup, we're going to be helping
them green all their packaging.
That's huge. The postal service.
Right. Yeah.
That's an oxymoron, right?
The postal service.
It's like jumbo shrimp
or military intelligence.
No. It's actually not
an oxymoron at all.
They actually deliver the mail.
Postal service.
But the...
See, there's no... There's actually no...
No, but there is. They're having issues.
Not at all. Not an oxymoron.
So, um, how's the dating?
Uh...
What?
(SIGHS) It's...
Come on, you got five years. It's time.
(CLEARS THROAT)
The point isn't to live like a monk.
It's easy to be skinny on a desert island.
I know. I know. I know.
It's not like booze or drugs. You
don't have to shut it off completely.
Jesus, I'll start dating.
Don't just say that to shut me up.
What do you want me to say?
I don't want you to say anything.
I want you to do.
Okay, fine. I'll do it.
Do. Date.
You are?
Yes. I'm doing it.
Yeah? Good.
Why couldn't I have
picked an easy sponsor?
Why? -I don't know. Maybe
you wanted to recover.
Why are you riding me?
(LAUGHS)
Here. This is for you.
Ah...
Subtle.
Oh, if you want to bust my balls...
No! No, no, no! I love it!
Are you kidding me?
I always wanted
one of your touchy-feely rocks.
I want one.
I want a touchy-feely rock, too.
So fucking earn it.
So I'm going to hear
your first step after this, right?
Oh, shit.
Neil.
Dude, I've been working
on it all week.
I totally, totally forgot
that we were doing that today.
You do remember
why you're in this program, right?
Free bagels?
You were court ordered.
Frottage.
Mmm. I know.
Unconsensual touching of other people.
(WHISPERS) I know.
Listen, Neil, you gotta do the work.
You have to do whatever it takes.
You think I like
not having a television or a laptop?
It fucking blows. But guess what?
It's saving my life, so I do it.
Is any of this of interest to you, Neil?
Yes, it's all of interest to me.
Can we please move on?
I'll get it done this week. Thank you.
What happened to your face?
Nothing.
(PASSIONATE MOANS)
(SHUDDERING)
My fellow gastronauts.
I bring you good tidings
and good eatings.
Let's bug out.
(SIZZLING)
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
No, Pinocch, don't do it!
It's me, Jimmy. Put the stick down!
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Well, you
should have thought about that
before you ratted
me out to Geppetto.
(LAUGHS)
That's not my real voice.
Oh. Well, then sorry, I'm...
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
No! Come back!
(NORMAL VOICE) I'm Adam.
I'm Phoebe.
Hi, Phoebe.
You are a very cruel man, Adam.
Believe me, it hurts them
far more than it hurts me.
Don't you mean that
the other way around?
No, Phoebe, I don't.
(LAUGHS)
So what you making?
(SOFT MUSIC)
(INAUDIBLE)
Flip phone, huh?
Yeah.
You ever carbon
dated this thing?
What are you doing?
Don't be so slow,
Pinocchio.
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
(DOOR OPENING)
Mike.
Mike, there's someone
downstairs.
What?
(WHISPERING)
There's someone downstairs. Get up.
(RATTLING)
(SCRAPING)
(RATTLING)
Whoa, dad!
It's me.
Danny?
I used the Hide-a-Key.
What the fuck are you doing here?
I wanted to come see you guys.
So you just decided
you'd stop by for a midnight chat?
I've been driving all day.
I didn't have a chance...
So you're hungry.
So you figured
you'd eat our food and then Rob us.
I'm not going to Rob you, Dad.
I haven't used in eight months.
Yeah, right.
I wouldn't believe me either,
I guess, but it's true.
You know how I know
an addict is lying?
His lips are moving.
Mom up there?
She's sleeping.
Danny?
Hey, Mom.
Danny!
Hey.
(GASPS)
Oh!
Oh, my...
Look at you! (LAUGHS)
MIKE: Kid's stolen money,
sports equipment, his mom's necklace.
Never once said he's sorry.
(SIGHS)
You know, I've tried to
get him in the rooms.
And you know what they say,
"This is a program for people that
want it, not for people who need it."
Hi. Dede. New to the program.
Hi, Dede.
Hi, Dede.
Um...
There's a lot of dudes in here.
Sorry, my other program
isn't such a sausage fest.
(LAUGHTER)
Um...
My Na sponsor said I needed
to come here because...
(SIGHS) "Tell the truth
and tell it fast."
The only way
I know how to relate to men is sex.
It's been that way forever.
I can remember my mom screaming at me
for grinding on my cousin
when I was, like, four years old.
I took my neighbor's virginity
by force when I was 12,
seduced my high school English teacher, got
him fired when he tried to break it off.
My 20s,
two abortions,
one long game of musical fuck chairs.
So now I'm 30, single,
no dude, no kids.
And I just lost my best friend in the
whole world because I fucked her old man.
I didn't even like the douchebag.
But that's What I do.
There's gotta be another way.
There has to be,
or I'm gonna fucking kill myself.
So that's what I got.
Thanks.
Keep coming back.
MEN: Keep coming back.
At this meeting, we give out chips
to recognize and celebrate sexual
sobriety and to help us in our recovery.
We have found through
our experience that sobriety
includes freedom from masturbation and
sex outside of a committed relationship.
Is anybody celebrating 30 days?
Good for you. Good going.
Anybody else, 30 days?
All right, all right!
Anybody else? Anybody else?
Thirty days?
Hey, Friar Tuck. What's going on?
Friar Tuck is going on a date.
Whoa!
Yeah.
Way to go!
Well, so what are we talking?
Male, female or shemale?
Hey, babe, you told me to get out there.
(CHUCKLES)
Well, I'm proud of you.
That's good news. That's good news.
You going to fellowship?
Uh, no, I can't.
I'm meeting up with my sponsee
to go over his first step.
Who, Shecky Greene?
So let's get started. Got your book?
Yeah, my book. Um, so here's the deal.
I didn't really get to...
It's okay. Just let me see it.
I'm operating on, like,
four hours of sleep.
It's fine. We'll just... We'll get it.
We'll get started.
I just... I would have liked
a little bit more time.
Is this it?
Um...
I didn't get a chance
to do what I wanted to do.
ADAM: So, no.
I'm gonna have a lot more time
this week to work on it.
No, man. This isn't
gonna work for me.
What do you want?
Mmm-mmm. No.
Look, you're wasting my time.
This is a complete waste of my time.
I'm sorry, I can't do this.
I can't work with you.
Take it. Take the book.
You can't...
What, are you dropping me?
I am sorry. What else...
What other choice do I have, really?
I just got a 30-day chip in there,
and you're firing me?
Neil...
No, that is all sorts of fucked up, man.
Neil, I told you from the beginning
that you had to do the work.
You haven't done
a single thing in this book.
Try doing my job.
What are you talking about?
This is bullshit.
Are you out of your mind?
I need this, okay?
I need you to sign
my court card.
Ah, there it is. That's what this is about?
That's not what this is about.
Don't worry, Neil.
The chairperson can sign your card.
You don't need me and
I don't need this.
MAN: The pages are
all stuck fucking together.
If it wasn't you, then who?
Who the fuck brought my book outside?
Who the fuck left my book outside?
Who?
Who?
Just tell me who.
If it wasn't you, then who?
Who?
Who? You know what...
Shut the fuck up!
Asshole.
What's all this?
Danny's making us breakfast.
Oh. This will be interesting.
(SOFTLY) I have not seen my son in years.
Can you try not chasing him away?
DANNY: Here we go.
Ooh!
Breakfast la Danny.
Look at this.
It's so fancy.
What's this gonna cost us?
Nothing.
KATIE: Okay.
There's some butter there
if you want it, Ma.
Oh, thank you.
Mmm.
This is really good.
I tried to get yours back,
but, uh...
Oh, honey.
It's the best I could do.
(SIGHS)
Will you put it on me?
DANNY: Yeah, of course.
So, yeah, I mean, after my
stretch, I bounced around a lot.
I worked an oil rig off
the Gulf of Mexico,
picked spinach in Central
Valley, California.
(LAUGHS) Really?
Yeah. Just basically saw the country.
And you've been sober the whole time?
Yeah.
Just white-knuckling it?
Yeah, you know,
not everybody needs to go with AA, Dad.
Oh, is that right?
Yeah, some people
don't need a group to Lean on.
Some people can do it on their own.
Hmm.
Hasn't been my experience.
You want more coffee?
Yes, please.
What?
Hey.
Hello.
Hello.
If I knew we were gonna be racing, I
would have worn my Livestrong bracelet.
You know,
this actually might be a good time
to tell you that
I had breast cancer five years ago.
Oh, God, really?
Yeah.
Uh...
(CHUCKLES)
That's a tough break. I'm sorry.
Yeah, it was.
But it's fine. I'm fine now, so...
I'm glad to hear that.
So I see you're perspiring a Tad.
I just ran a 10K.
Okay, my initial reaction is to say,
"Well, I just ran a marathon."
But I can't tell
if you're joking or if you're serious.
I'm as serious as cancer.
Wait, you just ran a 10K?
Mmm-hmm. I'm training for
the New York Triathlon.
Okay, we need a system here,
(LAUGHS)
some signs to signify.
So when we're serious,
we have to do this.
Oh, I love that. Okay. Yes, Adam, I'm
serious. I'm training for a triathlon.
Okay. Okay, you seriously
scare/impress me.
(LAUGHS) Thank you.
Oh, and when we're
joking, we can do that.
Did you just pay homage to The Sting?
My God, you're hot.
No, you're hot.
Oh.
What? No, you are.
You're actually very hot.
Thanks.
You're extremely hot.
(LAUGHTER)
Let's do this.
Okay.
I'm just getting warmed up here.
I'm ready to go now.
(ADAM PANTING)
How you doing back there?
I'm fine. I'm just drafting.
Okay.
Doctor.
Um, can I talk to you for a second?
Um, sure.
Yeah, you know, I just...
(CLEARS THROAT)
I really wanted to
apologize for all the
joking around and stuff
that I do around here.
You know, I think it's really,
to be honest, like, a defense mechanism.
You know, for all the pressures
we have here as doctors.
Thank you.
Thank you, that's good to hear.
I think it's also a... (CLEARS THROAT)
I think it's also
kind of a product of my childhood.
My mom, God bless her,
she's still alive, but, you know, she was
really sick a lot when I was growing up.
She had IBS, bad,
and the only thing that
really made her feel
better was when I
would make her laugh.
Apology accepted, okay?
Now if you'll excuse me...
Oh!
(TEARING)
Uh, wait...
Uh, so I think we can go ahead
and untuck that now.
But that's part of my
intended ensemble.
Okay. And then I'll tuck it back in.
Nice re-tucking. (LAUGHS)
Would you care
for a little GU?
Goo?
Mmm-hmm.
I'm new to goo. I...
(LAUGHS) Oh, dear.
Hmm.
You kind of got some
on your face there.
Oh, did I get it?
Lower. Lower.
It's still there?
Nope. It's on your Chin.
My Shin?
It's on your Chin.
My Chin. Which one?
Uh, just, uh... Right...
Oh, oh.
That...
Right there.
I think I need a drink.
I think I need one, too.
Wait, you're not an
alcoholic, are you?
No. Why?
Okay.
No, because
my last boyfriend was an alcoholic,
and I promised myself
I'd never date an addict again.
Well, I'm not an alcoholic.
Great.
So my son got really
upset the other day
'cause I told him he had to
stop playing and do his homework.
And I understand how he feels,
but I couldn't say to him,
like, you know, "Don't you think."
"I'd rather be alone with a jar of blow
and a couple of transsexual hookers?"
(SIGHS)
Not that he would know...
I mean, he doesn't know
what the word "jar" means, but...
Neil.
(EXHALES) Hey. Neil. Sex addict.
Hi, Neil.
Hi, Neil.
Hey.
I dreamed of being a doctor
since I was 10 years old.
It all started with ER.
I knew I could never be George
Clooney, but Anthony Edwards...
(LAUGHTER)
Bald, glasses, saving lives like
a superhero, that I could do.
So I worked nonstop for many years
with no social life, and I finally did it.
I became a doctor.
I was really good at it, too.
Until I got fired yesterday
for filming up my boss' skirt.
Mmm.
I told her it was for a documentary
called What the Ground Sees.
(CHUCKLING)
Oddly enough, she didn't buy it.
Stop fucking around, asshole!
It's not funny anymore, is it?
Nope.
I've been lying about my day count
this entire time.
I've never actually
even gotten one day.
I can't lie anymore.
Not to you, not to myself.
So from now on,
no more bullshit.
Just the truth.
And the truth is...
I'm out of control.
I'm scared.
And I need help.
I need help.
Okay, Neil, if we're gonna do this
again, then you gotta give me 150%.
Okay.
And since you're not working,
you have to do a 90 in 90.
What is that?
Ninety meetings in 90 days.
Okay.
Call me every day.
Fine.
You pray every day.
(SIGHS) I'm kind of an atheist.
All right.
Okay! All right, fine.
Dude, I'll do whatever I gotta do.
Listen to me.
Higher power doesn't have to be some
old dude with a beard in the sky, okay?
It just has to be something
that's bigger than you.
I'm pretty big.
And no more lame jokes, all right?
Okay.
Stop that shit.
Okay.
No subway, no Internet.
Are you fucking serious, dude?
I am serious, are you?
Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.
No. No worries.
Not a problem.
I can... I'll talk to you later.
We'll talk and I'll... You can call me.
That was a stupid share, dude.
Ow! Oh, thanks.
I love when people just bring it.
It was... You were, like,
an open wound out there.
It was... Your guts
were flopping out all over the place.
Thanks.
That was some inspiring shit, yo.
Yeah.
I'm Dede.
I know who you are.
Can I get your number?
My sponsor told me to get numbers, but
I'm not good at that reaching out shit.
It's...
You ready?
Yeah. Okay. Um...
45-4-6.
Okay.
5-5-5.
Yeah.
Zero-uno-cuatro-niner.
646-555-0149.
Dude, you're a doorbell. Ding Dong.
I'm gonna call you.
I'm gonna friggin' answer.
How's it going with the girl?
Good. We had our first date.
Oh, nice.
Is she a friend of Bill?
No, she's a civilian. She's
great, she's funny, she's smart.
And you're a shallow prick,
so she must be gorgeous.
No, man, at this point in my sobriety, I
don't even notice the externals of a woman.
Yeah, fuck you, Deepak.
I'm just focused
right in on her heart and soul.
Yeah, right.
I swear.
Yeah.
You know if it keeps going well,
you got to tell her, right?
Yeah.
Full disclosure.
I'm a little worried about that.
Well, worry is just a
meditation on shit.
(INDISTINCT TV CHATTER)
Good morning.
Morning.
So, um...
What the fuck, Danny?
Building you guys a koi pond.
Koi pond?
Yeah.
Thought it would go good with the whole,
you know, Zen vibe you guys got going on.
Just curious, you ever think about
running the idea by someone first?
Like, I don't know,
maybe the guy who owns the backyard?
Well, you know, I wanted
it to be a surprise.
Oh, it is.
So fish go in there?
Yeah.
You know, koi, those big orange carp.
I know what koi are.
So what happens in the winter when
they freeze their little koi nuts off?
No, look, I built one for
a guy in Michigan.
You just poke a hole in the ice.
It's no problem.
You sure about that?
Trust me.
You're gonna love it, Dad.
God.
Yeah, can I get someone to remove
this television from my room, please?
No, it's not broken.
I just don't want it here. Thanks.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Here you go.
Did you block the...
Yeah, boss.
You're all good. You're blocked.
So you want to go get dinner?
Uh, no, I've got to make a call.
Ooh! Nice flourish.
Wait, what are you eating?
Just a little healthy
plate of veggies.
Hold up your plate again.
What?
I just want to see something.
Aw, look at your cute little plate with
your vegetables all segregated and such.
Yeah, I just don't think that
foods of different color should mix.
Hey, I hear you.
Separate but equal. Plessy v. Ferguson.
God, I really like you.
And I don't like anybody.
I know, right?
I hate everyone except for you.
Me, too.
(WHISPERS)
I thought about you last night.
Yeah?
Actually, I thought
about you three times.
Whoa.
Have you ever "thought" about me?
(CHUCKLES)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Oh, um, hold on a second.
Oh, yeah. Hey, come on in.
I unplugged it already.
Okay. Sony about that.
Where did we leave off?
Are they taking the
TV out of your room?
What?
What are you, Amish?
Yes, and I was hoping to escort you
to a barn raising upon my return.
(LAUGHS) Oh, my God, seriously, why
are they taking the TV out of your room?
I just can't have it in my room.
And why not?
(SIGHS)
You, uh...
You know when you don't
have control over something?
Um...
No. I have control over
everything in my life.
I'm kidding. I'm sorry. Go ahead.
Well...
(CHUCKLES)
I just...
I can't have any distractions
on these business trips.
(GASPS) Like me?
No. Like TV.
(SCRAPING)
Hey, what's going on?
Owner said my seams suck.
Been sanding this shit for two days.
Welcome to residential construction.
Hey, I'm not complaining though.
I mean, I know
you're taking a flyer on me and all.
No, seriously, I just want to say how much
I appreciate what you're doing for me.
Hey. United, we stand.
Divided, we stagger.
(SNIFFLING)
(CRIES) It's just that...
Hey, hey, hey.
Ever since I put the liquor down,
the slightest thing makes me start
crying like a little bitch.
I get these, uh, feelings
coming up inside of me, you know?
Mmm.
Feelings are like children.
You don't want them
driving the car, but you
don't want to stuff them
in the trunk, either.
Where do you get this shit?
Meetings.
Lots and lots and lots of meetings.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(SIGHS)
Hey, Mom. I'm kind of busy right now.
That's funny.
I wasn't too busy
to give birth to you 28 years ago.
(SIGHS) I'm sorry. How are you?
So Judy Berger's son, Howard,
is doing his premed at Tufts,
and he's thinking about
going into emergency medicine.
So I told her that you
would take him around
one day next week,
show him the ropes.
(COUGHS)
No! I can't.
Why not?
We're gearing up for our yearly reviews.
It's just a really bad time.
Yeah, but I promised her. I promised her.
Hang on, Mom.
What? Code blue?
She's counting on...
Get him into trauma room three stat!
I'll be right there!
I gotta go, Mom!
(SIGHS)
(UPBEAT DRUM MUSIC)
(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
Hold on.
Hey, Neil.
Where have you been, man?
Dude, I'm losing it.
What's happening?
Everything in this goddamn city
makes me want to act out.
Get to a meeting.
Yeah, lam, lam. I'm going right now.
Good.
Uh, Neil, how are
you getting there?
(GRUNTS)
That's good.
Good to see you, brother.
It's looking good.
Can I get you some iced tea? Hungry?
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
Yeah. Tea sounds good.
David, what's up?
Oh, shit.
All right. Well, don't get into
it with him. I'll be right there.
All right. I'm sorry. Okay.
Guy on the job just slipped.
I gotta go.
Come on, you guys are having fun.
Stay and finish.
It's all right, Ma.
If he's gotta go, he's gotta go.
He doesn't have to go.
He wants to go.
Don't make a thing of this, okay?
The guy's having a
nervous breakdown.
You wanna go with me?
(SCREAMING)
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Chuck!
(GRUNTS)
Whoa. Whoa.
Put this down.
Put that down! Put that down!
Thinks he can talk to me like that?
Fuck you!
David, I'm sorry. He's off the job.
This is coming out of my pocket.
Yeah, no shit it will.
You got a new window now, bitch!
Okay. All right.
Fuck you!
Give me a hand here?
Look at me! Stop it!
Stop it!
Hey. Look at me.
We're gonna go now.
You okay to go?
You okay to go?
Yeah.
All right, come on.
We're not gonna do anything stupid.
We're gonna walk out of here, okay?
Yeah.
All right? Look at me.
We're gonna do this, all right?
(INAUDIBLE)
Now he's all right?
Yeah.
Sorry I've been a shitty son, Dad.
Sorry for all the lying
and the stealing...
The worry and all the bullshit.
I don't...
I don't want to disappoint you
anymore, Pop.
I want you to be proud of me.
Hey.
Jesus, you're beautiful.
What time is our reservation?
About a half an hour.
Plenty of time.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC)
Yes, my tits are fake.
That's what happens
when your real ones try to kill you.
Is that what they mean
by a booby prize?
(LAUGHS)
I have been wanting to do that
since the bug party.
Oh, God. Me, too.
(MOANS)
I'm really sorry for my brevity.
It's just been a really long time for me.
Yeah, right.
A gorgeous, single hetero
with a job in Manhattan?
No, I'm serious.
It's been really long.
Hey.
Will you go with me?
Where?
You know, like, exclusively?
You and me?
Oh, yeah.
Totally.
Really?
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Mmm.
Oh, no, our reservation.
Oh, it's fine.
We still have, like, 28 minutes.
(LAUGHTER)
(OBJECT CLATTERS)
Oh, hey.
(SIGHS)
Is that a sobriety medallion?
Yeah.
I had been in recovery
for five years.
For what?
Sex addiction.
What?
I'm sorry. I know I should
have told you. I've
been meaning to tell
you for a long time.
Is that even a thing? Is that like...
Isn't that something that guys just say as
an excuse when they get caught cheating?
No. No. It's not an
excuse, it's a disease.
I don't understand
why you didn't just tell me.
I don't understand.
I told you right away
that I had had cancer.
Why didn't you tell me?
It's different. There's a stigma.
There's no stigma to cancer?
Cancer gets you sympathy.
My thing gets you judgment.
Okay, do you remember when on our
first date, when you said to me
that you couldn't date another addict
and you wouldn't date another addict?
So there I am, I'm having a great time
with a woman that I really like,
and I'm thinking, "Oh, fuck!"
"I don't want this to be over
before it even gets to be started."
Phoebe, I'm sorry.
I should have told you sooner.
I know I should have.
But I'm telling you
now, and I promise you
from now on, it'll be
full disclosure, okay?
(GRUNTS)
I just...
(EXHALES)
I need some time to just
think about all this.
Okay, I understand.
MAN: Just get a pen, douchebag.
Just get a fucking pen
and a piece of paper.
Get a pen.
Get a pen.
This guy...
Hey, pal! Take it inside, will you?
We're trying to meditate here.
Yeah? Fuck you!
What'd you say?
Why don't you come over the fence?
I'll shove that fucking thing up your ass!
Take it inside!
(CHUCKLES)
What?
I was just remembering how when you were
a kid, you used to love to wrestle me.
Oh, yeah.
Cute little honey badger
hanging on my leg. (HISSES)
(CHUCKLES)
You used to pin me in,
like, one move every damn time.
Yeah, I could probably still do that.
Maybe... I don't know,
maybe take me two, three moves.
Yeah? You think so? Two or three?
You know, I'm...
Well, I'm getting old. So...
Yeah.
I can't do the one anymore.
Yeah, all right.
You motherfucker!
(LAUGHS)
Oh, shit! You're big!
Whoa!
Oh, shit.
You okay?
Fuck.
You all right?
My God.
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHS)
One! Two!
Three! Oh!
All right, all right, all right.
Winner and still champion!
You fucking sandbagged me.
That's bullshit.
I'm too fast.
I'm too pretty.
(LAUGHS) All right, that's it.
Round two, let's go.
You're going down, old man.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
Come on.
Oh, shit.
Oh, you got a phone call.
Yeah.
My sponsee.
Hey, Adam, what's up?
Let me go somewhere I can talk.
Rain check.
It's just all so fucking
complicated, man. I just...
I really am feeling like
just grabbing a fuck-it
bucket and going down
in a blaze of Glory.
You know what I'm saying?
Hold on. Hold on. Whoa, whoa.
Listen, Adam.
If I may, you have a slight tendency to
live in the, shall we say, extremes.
Look, life is gonna
throw shit at you.
There's gonna be disappointments,
betrayals,
and I know it hurts
like a back alley colonoscopy.
But look, whether it's this
girl or the next girl,
you need to find someone that accepts
the whole you, warts and all.
Listen, I gave Katie Hep C, and she
stuck it out with my sorry ass.
You really are a lucky son of a bitch.
You do know that, don't you?
I do know that.
And I'm grateful for it every day.
And you will be, too.
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Uh, yeah, hello?
Hey, Neil, it's Dede. Um, I met
you the other day at the meeting.
Yeah. Hey, how...
Can you talk? Is this a bad time?
No, no. Now's a good time.
What's going on?
My sponsor's not calling me back,
and I'm freaking the fuck out.
Okay, okay.
Well, um, what's happening?
My ex just called.
He wants me to come over.
The guy is a total lying, toxic sack of
shit, but I really wanna go fuck him.
Well, you know, that's maybe not good.
That's not good, I think.
So let's just, um...
Let's talk this through.
Uh, all right, what would happen
if you went over there?
It would be a shit show.
Be specific now. What would happen?
I'd get inside and he'd attack me.
Right. And after that?
He'd rip my pants off
and start eating me out.
Wait. What? What?
'Cause that's his thing.
I mean, the guy's,
like, a fucking pussy fanatic.
No, after that, skipping ahead.
We'd fuck like animals.
No, I'm talking after all of that,
after you finish.
How would you feel?
You mean, like, emotionally?
Yes.
I'd be all open and
vulnerable and shit,
and he'd be a million miles away,
back with his family.
And then?
Then I'd be so depressed,
I'd call up my guy.
And?
And a half hour later, I'm using.
See where this goes?
Yeah.
Good.
But I want to so bad.
No, Dede, don't. Where are you?
Outside his place.
What? No!
I can't help it.
All right. Listen to me, okay?
I want you to turn around
and go someplace safe.
What's near you?
I don't know.
Think!
Okay, fuck! The salon where
I work is pretty close.
Where is it?
(YELLS) Tell me!
Damn, dude.
You just got all Jack Bauer on me.
(HORNS HONKING)
Seriously?
You know what? Forget it.
I'm just gonna get out here.
Thank you. How much?
Yeah. Here you go.
(UPBEAT FOLK MUSIC)
(HORN HONKS)
(PANTING)
(GRUNTS)
Hi. Can I help you?
(WEAKLY) Dede. Where's Dede?
Do you have an appointment?
Holy shit, Neil.
I made it.
Are you okay?
Lester hands paper.
What?
(VOMITS)
Ugh.
You seem better.
Trade ya.
Sorry I went all Linda Blair on you.
Here you go. Thank you.
It's the least I can do.
You saved my ass.
Come on.
I'll give you a shave while you wait.
Can I ask you a question?
Sure.
So, what are your, like,
you know, I don't know...
What's your big trigger?
I don't know.
For me, it's, like, when I'm sad,
I wanna have sex...
So if you...
Or if I'm happy, or tired, or bored.
So pretty much just emotions?
You get the point.
What about you?
Me, yeah, you know...
I'd say my big thing is anxiety.
Yeah, that's a big one.
Yeah, I'm pretty much anxious all the
time, so it's just, like... (LAUGHS)
Whoa. Hey. What are you doing?
Am I making you anxious?
No, seriously, what
the fuck are you doing?
Relax.
I'm about to give you
the best shave of your life.
Please don't hurt me.
Don't make me laugh.
You got a weapon to my throat.
Why would I do that?
(CHUCKLES)
You know, it's weird, but from the moment
you answered, I started to feel better.
Oh, come on. Don't...
I'm completely serious. I swear, it's true.
You know, when you called, I was, urn,
this close to losing my day count.
Really?
Wow.
Sounds like we both had a God shot.
Yeah, you know, the whole higher power
thing kind of trips me up a little bit.
I mean, I don't know if I believe it.
You know, my sponsor
tells me that it's just
gotta be about something
bigger than me,
but I don't know what that means.
Well, don't over-think it.
It could be anything.
It's, like, service, like coming
here right now, helping me.
That's higher power.
Wow. You, like, literally transplanted
a baby's butt on my face.
That was so solid of you
to come all this way for me.
Thank you.
(SIGHS) Oh, God. That's right.
I almost forgot.
I have to get home
without using the subway.
Why don't you just use my bike?
No, I can't.
It's okay. I have another one.
No, I mean, I literally can't.
I'm not a good rider of bikes.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
(GRUNTING)
Aah, aah, aah, aah,
aah, aah, aah.
(BRAKES SQUEAK)
(GRUNTS)
(FABRIC RIPS)
Hey, move your shit, fat girl.
I'm a guy, asshole!
(POUNDS CAR)
I'm a fat guy!
Yield, please.
Who lives like this? (GRUNTS)
Hey, sorry.
(EXHALES)
Hey. How's it going?
I'm gonna finish this 90 in
90 if it kills me. Good.
But just remember,
one day at a time.
Biking now?
Can't forget to tuck in the cuff, man.
Yeah. Yeah, I know.
That's a nice helmet you got there.
Thank you. Appreciate it.
What shade of pink is that again?
I'm gonna get a new one, okay?
It matches your shirt.
Fuck you, dude.
You're the one who told me
I couldn't take the subway anymore,
so now I'm out there in the streets, biking
for my life like fuckin' Il Postino.
Okay. I'm sorry.
Why are you riding me?
I'm sorry.
I'm just... I'm going through
some stuff right now.
(SIGHS) It's fine. I'm sorry.
I just haven't jerked
off in over a week.
You know, I just feel like
one giant blue ball right now.
(CHUCKLES) Right.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
Yo, two after. Can we do this?
Okay, Adam, I'm gonna need, like, some
specifics here, so that I can understand.
You really wanna look
under that rock?
I mean, if we're gonna do this,
you know, I gotta know.
Oh, God, um...
Compulsive masturbation.
(SIGHS) Hitting on every girl
that I come across.
Lots of one-night stands.
Juggling multiple girlfriends.
Prostitutes?
Prostitutes, yeah.
I'm sorry.
It's hard for me to picture you like that.
That's it. That's the disease.
It makes you do things that violate
everything that you believe in.
I wanted to stop so badly,
I can't tell you, but I couldn't.
I understand. I just...
The thing that scares me,
if I'm honest,
is how do you know
you're not gonna fall off the wagon?
All I can say to you is this.
I have been sober for five years.
It is the most important
thing in my life.
And I am not planning
to let anything fuck that up.
Okay.
I'm just gonna go in there, pick up
my laundry and tell her my truth.
Fuckin' A you are.
Thanks for bookending this with me, Dede.
Thanks for letting me be of service.
Now, go tell Mommy you're
a sex addict.
(DEEP BREATH)
Hi.
Hi, Mom.
Honey.
Hey.
(KISSING)
What's... Okay.
Why are you so sweaty?
I rode my bike here. Can I, uh...
Since when do you bike?
Uh, since yesterday...
Can I come in for a second?
Can we talk about something?
Yeah, sure. But I just need you
to change one light bulb first.
I mean, why should I even have this
big house if you're never gonna be home?
(SIGHS) Okay, so, Mom, there's
something I need to talk to you about.
What's going on back here?
What?
All this sweat and schmutz
in your tuchus. What is it?
It's from the bike seat.
Well, I can't take it. It's disgusting.
Mom!
What? You're, like,
a homeless in these pants.
Okay, can you please just
listen to me for one second?
No. Take them off.
Just take them off.
Okay, take these off.
I'll wash 'em for you.
(UNZIPS)
(SOFT PIANO MUSIC)
Okay, so it was one of those things where
you work out, and then you're perspiring,
and you take a shower, but not
for long enough, apparently.
'Cause I'm giving
this presentation,
and I was, like, schvitzing
like a Russian gangster.
It was...
What?
Nothing.
This is nice.
No PDA?
Oh, no. Yes. Yes, on the PDA.
Yes?
Most definitely, yes.
Okay.
Well, what about if I do this?
Oh, yeah, always.
Really?
Yeah.
What if I just wanna
kind of upgrade it to, like...
Aah, oh, yeah.
Ooh, like a TMJ.
Yeah...
(MUTTERS AND LAUGHS)
(BOTH LAUGH)
What if I... But what
if I go like this? Is that...
Yeah, do that forever.
Really?
Even when I'm an old, stinking man
with claw-like, arthritic claw hands?
Will you love me then?
(LAUGHS)
BECKY: Adam.
You're killing me.
Hey.
Becky.
Yeah, I know.
I remember.
Oh, my God.
It's been years.
How are you?
Do you still have
that great apartment downtown?
Yep. Still in the same place.
This is Phoebe.
Hello.
Have you seen his place?
(CLEARS THROAT)
Yes, I have, and it is great.
Great. Good.
Good seeing you, Becky.
"Hint, hint, Becky, leave now."
(GIGGLES)
It's nice to see you,
too, Adam.
Here we are.
Make yourself at home.
I'm gonna go change.
(SENSUAL MUSIC)
Hey, baby.
You want a dance?
Yeah.
Hey, let's ease...
Just kiss me, okay?
Ah, you know the rules.
No touching.
(EXHALES)
Hey. (INHALES DEEPLY)
What's wrong?
(EXHALES)
Uh, listen, I, uh...
(EXHALES)
This is taking me to places
where I've been in the past,
where I just don't
wanna go right now.
I'm sorry.
It's all right. I know you...
I mean, you gotta be careful, I get that.
But, I mean, aren't we allowed
to be a little playful?
Absolutely.
Adam, I am a very
sexual person,
and I'm gonna need to be able to
express that side of myself with you.
Oh, and I want you to, believe me.
I just would like to take it
a little bit more slowly.
Did Becky go slow?
(CLASSICAL MUSIC)
Italia!
Oh, shit!
Yeah, it's looking good.
Yeah.
Yeah, there it goes.
Finish it up.
Hey, so you really want me there?
I mean, I can find somewhere else...
No, I want you to meet Adam.
He's a good guy.
He's got a good head. He's smart.
Smart? Like, I'm gonna
need a thesaurus to...
No, I'm just saying that
he's been through some hard times,
and now he's doing great.
Hard times.
And he's bringing his new lady
friend over. You'll like him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I get it. Positive role model.
Jesus, Danny, it's just dinner.
Just show up and eat the food.
God, this house is amazing.
I love all the woodwork and stuff.
It's so beautiful.
When was the house built?
Um... Uh, 1898.
Oh.
I've been renovating it since then.
(LAUGHS)
You've done a really great job.
It's very homey. It's nice.
KATIE: We like it.
MIKE: Thank you.
You know, let's start. It's, you
know, family style. Here we go.
Um... Oh, wow. That's... No, that's way
too much for me. Here, babe, let's...
Oh, how much do you want?
I'll just serve myself, it's fine.
I just, uh...
What are you, a smurf?
(LAUGHS)
ADAM: Here we go.
First off, you could not
pay me enough to do a triathlon.
Secondly, and furthermore,
I cannot believe you are voluntarily going
to swim in the Hudson fuckin' River.
(LAUGHS) Mike.
What? Honey, she's a big girl.
Sorry about the language.
That's okay. I accept your fucking apology.
Ooh.
(LAUGHTER)
MIKE: Oh, now
you owe me an apology.
Sorry I'm late.
There was an accident on the BQE.
The food was getting cold, so we started.
KATIE: I'll make you a plate.
That's all right.
Don't worry about it.
I'm not hungry anyway.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
So Adam told me that you guys
were high school sweethearts.
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
God, we were stupid.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
What?
I was just thinking about
what my life would've been like
if I had married my high
school sweetheart.
(LAUGHS) Scary, huh?
Horror movie scary.
(LAUGHS)
Yeah, Mike and I,
we just got lucky.
Lucky's good.
Well, you may be
getting lucky.
Adam is a good guy.
Yeah, he is.
Hey.
(SNIFFLES)
What's wrong?
I just think I'm worried about
this whole addict thing, you know?
Mmm-hmm.
I mean, I just...
Do you ever worry
that you'll be just humming along,
and then he's just gonna
veer off back into the darkness?
In my experience,
the only way that I can do this
is just to keep the focus on myself.
Meaning?
Meaning, um...
What about my side
of the street?
What are my issues that I
have to deal with?
After all, I picked an addict,
that says something.
Yeah, so, I mean, it's pretty
much self-sustaining, you know?
The fish, they do their thing
in the water, and that...
Yeah, and then the phytoplankton
eat the fish's waste,
and then they create oxygen,
which the fish use,
so it's, like, a closed loop, right?
Yeah. Exactly.
Adam's an environmental wizard.
Is that right?
You know, I had a cell mate once
who thought he was a warlock.
(CHUCKLES)
So...
So nice job on the girl.
I like her a lot.
Oh, yeah.
I really like her. I think
this might have legs.
Hey, listen, if it works out,
no one will be happier than me.
And if you don't make me the best man,
I will fuck up your wedding.
Mike, you're the best, man.
What are you saying?
I'm the best man, or I'm, like...
You're the best...
Man.
(BOTH LAUGH)
That's not a committal.
You're not committing.
I will fuck up your wedding.
You're the best man.
I will fall into the wedding cake.
You are the best, man.
I will be the one
that will not forever hold his peace.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Hey.
You think I could be your best man
when you two get married?
Nothing? All right.
(TRIPPY MUSIC)
Wow.
A lot of smells going on in here.
You getting that?
It's like patchouli
mixed with Bo and hugs.
Hey, Judgie Judgerstein,
I'm glad you could make it.
You know, I'm not really a
dancer so much as a Walker.
You gotta let your spontanuity go.
I don't think that's actually a word.
(SHUSHES) Relax.
Ecstatic dancing is not
about looking good.
It's about getting in touch
with your higher power.
You're gonna make me find this higher
power even if it kills ya, huh?
Relax, babe. Let your
inhibitions run wild.
I don't think inhibitions can...
I like that Phoebe, babe.
And I like her for him.
I think they could make it.
What do you think?
I'm not so sure.
What are you talking about?
I don't know. I'm just not so sure.
Are you kidding me?
You didn't see
how they were looking at each other?
That's the same kind of look we used to
give each other, like, 30 years ago.
Have you seen my pain pills?
They're not in the cabinet?
No. Weird.
I don't fuckin' believe it.
Mike, you don't know that.
Gotta tell you, Mike
really liked you.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Believe me, he's a hard sell.
I'm glad I passed the test.
Oh, come on,
I didn't mean it like that.
What's the matter?
(SIGHS) Nothing.
I'm just cranky. I missed my run.
Oh, I know that's your drug.
Huh?
What? Nothing.
I know another way
to get endorphins going.
Oh, God,
I'm about to crash.
I have a 7:30 breakfast.
I'll make it up to you, I promise.
(SCOFFS)
You don't have to promise me sex.
(TRIPPY MUSIC)
(ADAM CHUCKLES)
Sounds like you had
a really good time.
You know, I don't know
if I could approve
of you grinding up against
a bunch of sweaty undulating bodies.
No, no, no,
I'm in for the night.
Uh, maybe I could get away
for a few minutes tomorrow at lunch.
Sounds like fun.
Okay, good.
Good night.
Hey. Did I wake you up?
Who was that?
Who are you talking to?
What?
Who are you on the phone with?
My sponsee.
Really?
At 2:00 in the morning?
Yeah, he was calling to check in.
Hmm.
Can I see your phone?
Are you serious?
You don't want me to see your phone?
No, and I resent you asking me to see it.
Which makes me think
that you're hiding something.
You know what, Phoebe?
This isn't gonna work
without a little bit of trust.
Let me see your phone.
No.
Give me your phone.
No.
Just give me your phone.
I'm not letting you...
Just give me the fuckin' phone.
(SIGHS)
(DROPS PHONE)
Happy?
What's going on with you?
What's going on with you, Adam?
What is going on?
I feel like
you're starting to pull away from me.
I mean, am I crazy?
Yeah, you're right, I know.
So are you gonna talk to me about it?
Yeah.
(DEEP BREATH)
I guess, you know...
(SIGHS)
For me, for so long, you know,
sex was, like, this secretive Chase
for a fix, right?
And now, with us,
it's really hard for
me to connect that
to something that's
loving and intimate and real.
(STAMMERS) And it's not you.
What?
What?
I just don't...
I don't know if I can do this.
Why? Why not?
What do you mean?
We can do it.
We just have to do the work.
Do the work?
Adam, we just met.
I mean, this is crazy.
We should be in the honeymoon phase.
What do you mean honeymoon?
Where do you get that from?
What, did you read that in a book?
Mmm, I think that I might...
(EXHALES)
What?
Need someone who's healthier.
Healthier?
Or not healthier, but...
No. Because I'm sick,
and you, you're healthy
with your compulsive exercising
and your crazy fucking food bullshit?
I think you're a really
great guy, Adam.
No, you think that I'm
a sick piece of shit.
But don't worry. You,
you're perfect, right?
What's up?
Honey, sit down.
What happened?
Did you take your
mom's pain pills?
Did I what?
Simple question.
Did you go into our bathroom
and steal your Mother's pills?
No. I told you guys, I'm clean.
Oh, then what happened?
Did they just sprout wings and fly away?
Mike, come on.
I'm never gonna be anything
but a fuck-up to you, am I?
Honey, we won't be mad.
Give us the goddamn pills.
What pills?
You mean the pills she has to take
'cause of what you gave her?
Those pills?
You watch your tone.
What tone, huh?
The tone I learned from you
when you used to come into my room at
night with your fuckin' Jameson's breath
and smack me around? That tone?
What are you talking about?
Right, Ma?
What are you talking about?
Say something!
Yeah, take his side
like you always fuckin' did.
Stop talking ancient history!
That always fuckin' worked.
We're talking about right now.
Good. Fine. Right now, I want an apology.
You want an apology?
Yeah.
You got some fuckin' stones, kid.
Apology for what?
For accusing me
of something I didn't fuckin' do!
Are you kidding me?
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
That's right, 'cause that would mean
admitting that you're wrong, wouldn't it?
Big Mike's never wrong.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about you, Mr. 12-Step.
You can go pretend that
you're Mr. Recovery
to all your sponsees
who think you're Jesus fucking Christ.
Guess what, Dad?
I know the truth about you.
You were a monster then.
You're a goddamn hypocrite now,
telling them to go make amends.
You've never even
made amends to your own son
for all the shit that you did to me,
all the shit that you put me through.
Yes, I did, I did.
You did? When did you ever
make an amends to me?
When?
That's right, never. You never did.
You can start right now.
Dad, say you're sorry to me.
I'm not saying I'm sorry to you.
Say you're sorry to me.
I am not saying I'm sorry to you.
Say you're fucking sorry to me!
I am not saying I'm sorry to you!
That's right,
'cause you're a fuckin' coward!
(KATIE GASPS)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
KATIE: Stop it!
(GRUNTS)
Stop it! Stop it!
(GRUNTS)
Aah!
(WHIMPERS)
(PANTING)
(DOOR SLAMS)
Hey, Mike, it's Adam.
Uh, yeah, I'm in DC for this
postal service meeting,
and I'm not doing so good, man.
Yeah, it's over with Phoebe.
And I'm having some really
dark thoughts here, brother.
So, can you give me a call
when you get this, please?
Okay, thanks, man. Bye.
Come on, come on.
Hey, Margo.
Hey, it's Adam.
How you doing?
Um, I'm great.
Hey, listen. Do you think I could
swing by there and grab the computer?
There's a couple edits
I wanna make on the, um...
Uh...
You know what? I'm fine. Let's just...
We'll bang it out in the morning.
Okay, good night.
Thanks, bye.
Fucking idiot.
(EXHALES)
(TENSE MUSIC)
(MOANING ON COMPUTER)
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
(MOANING ON COMPUTER)
(GRUNTING)
(EXHALES)
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Adam?
(MOANING)
Oh, yeah, slow.
Yeah, slow.
(TENSE MUSIC)
(MOANING)
(BOTH MOANING)
(DOOR UNLOCKING)
Hey.
Hi, baby.
I am so happy to see you.
Thanks for coming.
I was seriously bugging out.
Jesus. There's more shit than air in here.
Yeah, I know.
You gotta do something about this, dude.
This is not conclusive to your sobriety.
I think you mean conducive.
You got any garbage bags?
Yes. Yes, I do.
Hang on.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
Dude, explain this to me.
You're trying to stay sober
and you still have your porn collection?
Yeah, I'm really just stashing it up here.
I don't actually watch any of it anymore.
We need to get rid of this.
I know.
No. We need to get
rid of this now.
(DISTANT POLICE SIREN)
You okay with this?
It's like burying
an old friend.
Burning porn, My Lord
Kumbaya.
Really?
Neil's shit's burning,
My Lord.
Okay.
Kumbaya.
How am I gonna Jack off now,
My Lord?
Kumbaya.
Oh, Lord, Kumbaya.
You were a little high.
(CLEARS THROAT)
What's wrong?
I've never been just friends
with a guy before.
It's so...
What?
Hot.
I love you, big man.
I love you, too, small
tattooed woman.
Mmm.
(PILLS RATTLE)
I fucked up.
You always have to be right,
don't you, Mike?
Always.
Oh, really? You gonna start this?
Just get out.
Ah, fuck it. I'm gonna go.
Danny, come on, call us.
Your mom is worried.
Really? (YELLS) Really?
(CLEARS THROAT)
(COME CLATTER)
(CLINK)
Hey, it's Adam.
You wanna come by?
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
Give me a five scratches.
(SIGHS)
Uh, 3 Musketeers bar.
Is that it?
Yeah. Let me have, uh...
A bottle of bourbon,
fifth of bourbon.
Yeah.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hey.
What happened?
Where is he?
Katie, breathe.
(SOUND ECHOING)
(INDISTINCT FEMALE VOICE)
BECKY: (DISTORTED)
And then at the last minute,
this guy just, like, jumps
in front of me and takes my cab.
I go down to the subway.
I'm waiting for the subway for,
like, 20 minutes.
I get on, and after two
stops, they stop it,
and they say it's 'cause
of a sick passenger.
Like, how much of a Diva do you
have to be to stop a whole train?
The gumption, it's crazy.
Oh, I remember this place.
Oh, my God. I love this rug.
Are you sure you're not gay?
Pretty sure.
Whoa! Okay.
Give it a second.
You're so fucking hot.
Thank you.
Uh, time out.
Why don't you
make me a drink or something?
Oh, of course. I'm sorry. How rude of me.
What would the lady like?
Uh, the lady would like a glass of
red wine if the gentleman has one.
The lady's in luck.
I was so surprised when you called me.
Hmm.
It's been a very long time.
I'm glad you picked up.
(CHUCKLES)
So what was the deal with that girl?
Is she your girlfriend?
Ah, yeah, that's pretty much over.
Well, I'm glad you called.
Gives me an excuse to wear this
brand-new little dress I bought.
I know.
Yeah, I love this dress.
Yeah.
You don't think it's too short?
Mmm, not at all.
Really?
Mmm-hmm.
You don't think it's,
like, a little naughty?
I don't know.
I do.
Hmm?
I don't think I should be allowed
to go out like this, right?
No, you shouldn't.
Go on.
Go change your dress.
But I don't wanna change.
Becky, did you hear me?
I told you to go change, now.
Or what?
Becky, I said change your dress.
Fuck you. I'm not a child anymore.
Hey, this is my house.
Ow!
You're ruled by my rules.
Ow!
Daddy, stop it!
You're hurting me.
Becky, you gonna
change your dress?
No.
You wanna be a big girl?
Fine. I'll treat you like a big girl.
Oh! No, Daddy!
Yeah.
What are you doing? Stop.
Yeah.
You want me to stop, huh?
Just say it. I'll stop.
Go ahead, tell me to stop.
(PANTING)
Fuck me.
(MOANING)
Oh, yeah.
Ahh, okay, now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come on, slap me.
I'm not gonna slap you.
Fuckin' slap me.
I said I'm not gonna slap you.
Come on, fuckin' slap me,
you fucking pussy.
I'm not into that.
I'm not into that.
Okay?
Becky.
Fuckin' slap me. Come on!
Okay. Hey, hey, hey.
You know you want to. Fuckin' slap me!
Hey, hey.
Come on, fuckin' slap me!
Hey!
Fuckin' slap me!
Come on, fuckin' slap me!
(SHUSHES)
Listen to me.
Fuckin' slap me!
Stop it.
Fuckin' slap me!
Hey, hey.
Fuckin' slap me!
Stop, Stop.
(PANTING)
Stop.
Stop.
It's okay.
All right?
Are you all right?
I'm fine.
Come on, talk to me.
Don't touch me!
Hey, I...
Don't fucking touch me!
(SOBBING)
Hey, hey, hey. Hey.
(SOBBING)
Jesus Christ.
Becky?
Hey, Becky.
(SOBBING)
(SHUSHES)
It's all right. It's okay.
It's okay.
(SCREAMS) Get away from me!
(SOBBING)
(DOOR LOCKS)
What?
Becky, hey.
(CRYING)
Becky, come on.
Get away from me!
Open the door, okay?
Come on. Come on out of there.
Fuck.
Hey, come on. Talk to me.
(SOBBING)
Get away from me!
(METAL CLAN KS)
Hey, hey, hey. What are you doing in there?
What are you doing in there?
Hey, hey!
You know what? Becky, this isn't funny.
Come on now.
(SOBBING)
I can't take it.
(GROANS)
(BECKY MUTTERING)
Mike, I need your help.
Call me ASAP, man, seriously.
(BECKY SOBS)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Dude, where have you been?
I've been trying to call you.
Who?
What girl?
All right. Text me your address.
I'm on my way.
No!
Fuckin' animals!
You see who did this?
Fuck!
(HORN HONKS)
(SOUL MUSIC)
(MOUTHING)
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Dude.
Hey.
Where is she?
Right here, in the bathroom.
She's right there on the left.
Hey, uh...
Becky.
Becky, listen. My name is Neil.
I'm friends with Adam.
We're worried about you, sweetie.
How about you open the door?
(THUD)
Becky! Hey!
Becky!
Adam, move!
Oh, shit!
Becky. Come on.
No.
Talk to me, sweetie.
(BECKY GRUNTS)
Come on. You talk to me here.
(GROANS)
Call 9-1-1.
Adam, 9-1-1!
(GRUNTS)
Yeah, we need an ambulance quick
at 135 West 3rd Street, apartment 2B.
Young female,
polysubstance overdose.
Did you get that? Okay. Please hurry.
Stay with me, Becky.
Oh, man.
Dude, it's all right.
She's gonna be okay.
Ah...
(SIGHS)
Dude, you really are
Anthony Edwards.
Fuck that.
I'm George Clooney.
We're looking for our son, Danny Burns.
We've heard he's on the fifth floor.
On, baby.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine, Ma. Are you all right?
(CRYING)
(LAUGHS) Yeah, I'm...
(SNIFFLES)
Are you in pain?
No.
They got me on the good stuff.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
I didn't even have to steal it.
We know that you
didn't take the pills.
Right, Mike?
Will you tell him?
Fuckin' hysterical.
First drink or drug
in eight months.
I total the car.
I get arrested for DUI.
You must be fuckin'
loving this.
Look at you.
What's on your mind, Pop?
Why don't you tell me?
Tell me this is what I get
for white-knuckling it.
Huh?
(CRYING)
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
ADAM: Thanks for meeting me.
It's really good to see you.
Yeah, you, too.
I thought a lot about what happened, and,
uh, I wanted to clear the air between us.
Um...
I just wanna say that I really regret some
of the things I said to you that night.
I'm sorry.
I'm not.
It was good. I...
You forced me to look at myself.
I needed to hear it.
How'd that go?
Not so good, yeah.
Turns out, uh, I'm not perfect.
No, but you're pretty
fuckin' awesome.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Oh, God. It's not fair, you know?
What?
I still hate everybody but you.
(FOLK MUSIC)
I'm gonna ask you to sit
and listen to me for one second.
Things are going to
change between us.
From now on, I'm going to be a son.
I should do something for myself
to show that I love myself.
Give me the most damaged guy you could
find and I was, like, in heaven.
I'm halfway through
my ninth step list.
Just did my first wife.
That was fun.
(LAUGHTER)
I Miss acting out.
I do, I'm serious.
This disease won't let
me take a compliment
unless it comes from, like, I don't know,
a muscley, tattooed Latino man.
My wife would ask where I was, and I
would say I was at meetings at work,
and I led a double
life for a long time.
There are keep-coming-back chips
for newcomers and members wishing
to reaffirm their commitment to sobriety.
Is anyone celebrating 30 days?
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
You're welcome.