The Sandlot: Heading Home (2007) Movie Script

[Man Narrating]
Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, Lou Gehrig...
Hank Aaron, Mickey Mantle...
Al Kaline, Carl Yastrzemski...
Pete Rose, Barry Bonds,
Cal Ripken and a handful more...
are all considered
to be the greatest hitters...
in baseball's celebrated history.
But this list would not be complete
without one name in particular.
Tommy Santa Santorelli.
In the middle of his 19th
and recently announced final season...
Tommy has been named
to 11 all-star teams...
broken dozens of records,
and seems destined for Cooperstown.
That is, if his ego
doesn't get in the way.
From humble beginnings,
Tommy Santorelli and his mother, Sara...
moved to Southern California
the summer Tommy turned 13.
It was there that Tommy
began playing sandlot ball...
and let's just say he's always
had a talent for the game.
It was with that July 4, 1976 catch...
that Tommy single-handedly
won the all-city championship.
Unfortunately, shortly thereafter...
Tommy's mother lost
a courageous battle with cancer...
and a local benefactor sent him...
to the legendary Baseball Academy
St. Agnus Preparatory School.
It was there that he coined
his own nickname...Santa.
His explanation? Simple. It was a gift
for anyone to watch him play.
The loss of his mother
affected him deeply, and some see this...
as the reason for Tommy's
lack of loyalty to the list...
of major league teams
he's been a part of.
Finishing his career where it started...
in his hometown of Los Angeles...
Tommy signed a three-year,
multi-million-dollar deal...
with the Dodgers.
Though Tommy's numbers
have been strong...
the Dodgers have suffered
their worst losing streak in years.
- [All Groan]
- Famed Dodger manager
Benny Rodriguez explains:
Problem is, guys like Tommy
don't play for the love of the game...
and that translates
to the rest of the guys.
If the top earner don't care,
why should they?
Now, these kids...
They played because
they loved playing. That's it.
No... No money, no agents.
No complaining.
Just the pure love of the game.
[Sighs] But ballplayers like them
don't exist anymore.
In fact, the old sandlot
doesn't even exist.
But, yeah, they got it.
Now, I've known Tommy
since he was a kid.
We grew up
in the same town, and...
I don't know, maybe it's
'cause I'm older than him.
But, uh, the sad thing is...
I could always tell...
he never got it.
What do I know?
I'm just an old, washed-up
manager now anyhow.
Let's get some dirt
on those uniforms, huh?
[Woman] So what do you think
went wrong today, Santa?
What are you askin' me for?
I went three for four.
- Homered in the sixth,
in case you didn't see that.
- Yeah, but you lost.
- No, sweetie. They lost.
- Did you just call me sweetie?
Listen, I'm just trying
to be friendly, sweetie.
Look. If these guys want to play
like a bunch of losers...
there's nothing I can do
to stop 'em, okay?
So, Tommy, with this being
your last season...
you must be looking back
on your career a little bit.
- Some say you're getting out
before the hammer falls.
- What?
Any regrets?
- Nope. None.
- Really?
What about that tell-all book
written by your ex-fiance, Judy Kroll...
Tommy, come on.
What do you have to...
Oh, it's a great day for baseball.
Yeah, and one of the last.
And I'll tell you what, boys.
When Santa's gone, party's over.
You better cherish these days
while they're here.
He's in a talkative mood today.
Yeah. Probably 'cause
he's not under oath.
Yo, 26, what gives?
Uh, it's for the July 4
fireworks next week.
That's next week.
What are they doin' in my yard today?
I don't know.
That's just what I was told.
You know, I've been comin' here
early for three years...
so this diva can have B.P.
All to himself...
- and he doesn't even know my name.
- Consider yourself lucky.
At least you're on
a first-number basis with him.
- Right.
- Yeah, they wanna see some fireworks?
I'll show 'em some fireworks.
Been workin' on that new pitch
we talked about?
What new pitch?
It's called a strike.
And Santa takes that
to the North Pole.
All right.
So on the big night,
when I say "now"...
I want you to light it up
right here, okay?
Hey, Lou.
- You understand me, right?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, Bud.
- I'm just watching out for incoming.
- Okay.
You got a problem
with your breakin' stuff, kid.
- Yeah? What's that?
- It don't break.
- Excuse me?
- You're excused. Bring it.
You understand me, right?
On the big night, when I say "now"...
- I want you to light it up. Okay?
- What, now?
- Now.
- Now?
- When I say "now," Lou.
- Now?
Lou, your head's like cement.
Now is now.
- What do you mean, now?
- Now.
Okay, now. Whoo!
Lou! Not "now," now.
Pull it out.
- Pull it out!
- What do you mean, pull it out?
You said light it.
- Run!
- [Screams]
How far did he skid?
[Boy #2]
Pace it off, Q.
Four, five, six, seven, eight...
he looks bad.
- We should do something.
- Yeah, kick him. See if he's fakin' it.
- Kick him? What, are you nuts?
- "Nuts"? Good idea.
Kick in the family jewels,
excellent fake breaker.
- [Boy #2] That should wake him up.
- Bad idea on many levels.
As a medical procedure,
I think kicking...
is way down on the list
of any prescribed remedies.
- Got any better ideas, Q?
- Slap in the face?
Bucket of water.
That always works.
My mom says you should
always wake someone gently.
- Gently.
- How about seeking medical attention, doofus?
The average ambulance
takes four minutes...
to respond to the scene
of an accident.
Kick in the family jewels,
lot faster.
- We're gonna get this guy help.
- Why are you in charge?
- Yeah, why are you in charge?
- Since when?
- I'm the tallest.
- What's that got to do with anything?
I am the smartest.
I think you mean shortest.
I'm the biggest.
- I think you mean fattest.
- Fattest.
- I say we go with the kick.
- I'm the captain.
- [Boys] What?
- Who made you captain, D. P?
The catcher is always the captain.
- You're not the captain. What about pitcher?
- [Chattering]
- Guys, look. Guys. He's waking up.
- [Groaning]
We could still kick him
before it's too late.
[Boy #2] Ask him a question
that everyone knows.
- See if he's okay.
- Good idea.
Who's the greatest
baseball player of all time?
- I am.
- [All] What?
- [Boy] Who are you?
- Tommy Santorelli.
Well, I don't care if you're Steve Garvey.
The answer is Babe Ruth.
- Hello! The Sultan of Swat.
- The King of Crash.
- The Colossus of Clout.
- The home Run King.
- The Babe.
- [Together] The Great Bambino.
No. It's Santa.
- Santa?
- As in Claus?
- [Groans]
- Can I kick him now?
- Go ahead.
- [Man] Back up, kids!
Clear out!
I'm trained for situations like this.
Now, who started it?
Stand back, boys.
I'm goin' in.
[All Groaning]
Hey! What's goin' on here?
All right, kids, give him some air.
What happened?
He took a fly ball to the forehead.
- Sorry, Uncle Chops.
- Would have been a triple too...
if he hadn't screwed it up.
- In your dreams, fat ass.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Are we gonna have
a situation here?
'Cause we don't want
a situation, do we? Huh?
- [Boys] No.
- Good. What's your name, kid?
Who you calling kid, tubs?
Is that any way to talk
to an officer of the law?
- Where's my P.D. A?
- Your what?
- My blackberry?
- Hey, that's mine.
And it's not blackberry.
It's strawberry-banana.
- Are you serious? I love strawberry.
- Hey!
He's that new kid
who just moved onto Glenview Road.
What are you talking about?
I live in Beverly Hills.
And what's up with this "kid" crap?
Which one of you jacked my phone?
I gotta call my agent.
Don't even think about autographs.
[Boy] Why would we want
your autograph, loser?
What's goin' on?
Yeah. We got a situation.
- % % [Woman Singing Lullaby]
- [Moans]
% % [humming]
Where am I?
You're home, sweetheart.
No, I can't be.
I must be dreaming.
Just relax.
You'll feel better in the morning.
- It's really good to see you again.
- [Chuckles]
- Honey.
- I've missed you so much.
Oh, honey. I'm right here.
% % [humming]
- I like this dream.
- Shh.
[Tommy Screams]
- Well, hello there, sleepyhead.
- Wh-Where am I?
You're home, sweetheart.
No, no, no.
Something's very wrong.
Mom? Am I dead?
Why would you ask
such a silly thing?
Because I'm wearing my Speed Racer P.J.'s
that I haven't seen in 30 years.
Fine. I got a little backed up
on the laundry.
There's still a lot
of unpacking to do.
Don't worry, your Batman and Robin
ones haven't run off.
- Mom, do you know how old I am?
- Twelve, almost 13.
No. I'm 41 years old.
I live in Beverly hills.
I've got a smokin'-hot girlfriend
who's got her own reality show.
I play center field for the Dodgers.
And somehow I'm back here.
And you're here.
And the pancakes smell so real.
And I think I'm gonna throw up.
All right, all right. Take it easy.
I thought you loved pancakes.
- I'll make you some eggs.
- No eggs. I do protein shakes.
- Ginseng, spirulina.
- Maybe you have a concussion
and I let you sleep too long.
I'm gonna call the doctor right now.
Mom, put down the phone.
I don't think I have a concussion.
I just think I'm dead.
I bet this'll bring you back to life.
Give me a break.
Has everyone gone nuts?
Okay, Tommy, why don't you
tell me what's wrong?
Come on, Doc. Isn't it your job
to tell me what's wrong?
All right.
Uh, how's your memory?
Well, I remember some things
like they were real.
Like my mom and the house...
and the kids from the sandlot.
But other things,
they're kind of foggy.
- Like I'm watching TiVo.
- TiVo? You mean TV? Uh, television?
No, TiVo. Pausing real time,
zapping commercials.
Unless I'm in them.
Why don't you wait outside a minute
while I talk to your mom, okay?
I'd actually prefer to stay, Doc.
My trainers back at Dodger Stadium
give me the skinny all the time.
That's what I mean. I don't know
half the things he's talking about.
Well, his... Your retinas appear to be fine,
and the heart rate is normal.
Other than a little bump
on your noggin, I think... [Chuckles]
Well, he's fine.
Fine? You think I'm fine?
Look at me.
Look at this haircut.
Look at these weak little biceps.
How can you call any of this fine?
Let's go, Mom.
This guy's a quack.
Tommy, you apologize this instant.
No, no. That's okay.
Actually, Tommy, I would like to have
another word with your mother though.
- [Whispering] In private.
- Whatever.
- [Door Opens, Closes]
- Sara, I think Tommy's
suffering from some sort...
of emotional stress,
but he'll be fine.
You are the one that
I am concerned about.
Me? I'm well, thank you.
I guess I'm strong enough
for the chemo again.
Mmm. Then maybe we should
pick up on the treatments...
where you left off before the move.
That'd be fine, Doctor.
Now, if he starts acting up again...
I'd show him some pictures
of family and friends...
just to bring him back
to reality, as it were.
Maybe that's what he's fighting.
That was surreal.
I don't know about you, Mom,
but I could sure use a drink.
We could go get a soda.
And this is your Uncle Henry.
Uncle Henry. You remember
your Uncle Henry, don't you, sweetheart?
Mmm, sure.
I remember Uncle Henry.
Cheap son of a...
Who is this again?
That's you.
And that's you at the lake.
Oh. And there's you at Big Bear.
And this is that day
last summer, you remember...
when we went to that music festival
with your Cousin Jimmy?
Oh, right. Shame what happened
to him though.
What happened to him?
Did Margie call with some bad news?
No. When Jimmy's band
broke up in the early '90s...
he got himself a job
at home Depot in Calabasas.
What's home Depot?
Last I heard, he was
assistant manager in hardware.
[Chuckles] Divorced,
up to his neck in alimony payments.
- What?
- Little Jimmys in the fourth grade...
and got all straight A's
this past year, Tommy.
- Who's this again?
- [Doorbell Rings]
- [Kids Chattering]
- I'll get that.
- Guys, stop pushing.
- What's your problem?
- Shut up.
- Guys, guys.
Tommy, some boys
are here for you.
- Get your hand off me.
- Good job.
Shut up.
- Hey, I'm D.P. This is Wings...
- Timber and Two Ton.
Yeah, I remember you guys.
It's all comin' back to me.
- Like it was yesterday.
- It was yesterday.
Anyway, we just wanted
to see how you were feeling.
Yeah. Lucky it wasn't your eyeball.
[Slurps, Pops]
Well, I'm fine now. Thanks for
stopping by, kids. See ya around.
What's with this
constant "kid" crap?
I'm really glad you're not
gonna be playing on our team.
- What team?
- Our team. We play on the sandlot.
- [Whispering] The sandlot.
- [Wings] Yeah, sandlot.
- Needs another player.
- And only because the best
ballplayer in the history...
of sandlot is back,
puttin' on a clinic.
Who said anything about me
putting on a clinic?
- You?
- I'm talkin' about Benny.
- The Jet.
- Rodriguez.
- [Chucking] That bum?
- Bum?
He's got the best batting average
on the Dodgers this year.
Wait. He's here too?
- Benny's amazing, man.
- The best.
Please. Benny only got as far
as he did because he can run.
Then his knee tanked him.
He retired and became a coach.
- What's he talking about?
- [Sara] You should go with them, honey.
- Fresh air'll do you some good.
- But, Mom...
No buts. Get out. I'm serious.
Let me get my mitt.
- [Whispering] Guy's nuts.
- [Indistinct]
% % [Folk-Rock]
% % [Man Singing]
% % [Continues]
% % [Ends]
All right, so we're gonna do
some hitting, some fielding...
and you're gonna play outfield.
D.P., behind the plate, as usual.
We've got everybody here. Let's play.
I want you three to play outfield.
We've got this new kid today.
- We're gonna have four outfielders then.
- That makes sense.
- Let's play some ball.
- All right, fellas, let's go.
I want you to focus. When I start talking,
I want you listening, okay?
All right, let's go.
[Chattering, Whooping]
- Hey, Benny, over here.
- You might wanna get a little further out there.
- [Boy] Out there, Two Ton.
- Here we go, fellas.
Hey, Benny.
It's pretty weird, right?
I mean, it's like
The Twilight Zone or something.
Maybe you could tell me
how we, uh, got...
You asking me how I got here?
Same way these kids
are gonna get there.
- 'Cause they love to play ball.
That's the key, kid.
- You look so...
- So...
- Yeah?
- Well, young.
- Really?
Maybe I should be lookin' in the same
mirror you're lookin' in, kid.
No, I wouldn't really
recommend that.
Come on, hotshot.
Let's see what you got.
You know what?
I think I'm just gonna watch.
- Okay.
- Some all-star.
"All-star"? Ha.
As in, "I'll start later."
Just full of it.
I'll tell you, try to do a weirdo a favor,
and it just gets "weirdo-er."
- Yeah, really.
- Get ready, fellas. Here it comes.
- Let's go.
- Get it!
- Come on. That's it.
- I've got it.
Nice. Now throw it back home.
Oh, nice throw.
Yeah, nice catch.
You new to town?
- Not really.
- I'm Squints Palledorous.
- Baseball commissioner, right?
- Yeah, that's right.
Go, Wings! Go, Wings!
- Wings.
- You know Wings McKay?
Sure. You can never forget
that kind of speed.
[Laughs] Kid's got no second gear,
that's for sure.
It's gonna catch up to him though.
- I don't think anyone can catch him.
- Except the cops.
- [Boy] Hey, Wok, move to second.
- [Boy #2] Come on, Q.
- Just pick up the ball, Q.
- In a minute.
That's Q. Short for I.Q.
He's wicked smart.
Not really that great
an outfielder though.
I'm using the probability calculation
of wind-speed velocity...
versus the angle
of the descent of the ball.
I'm gonna descend upon your head if you
don't pick up that ball and throw it in.
Takes it all apart.
Breaks everything down to a science.
You ever notice how the wind-speed
velocity changes when you speak, Two Ton?
Pick up the ball now.
I guess it paid off. He's only one
of the biggest brain surgeons...
I mean brains in the world.
You okay, kid?
You might wanna get
out of the sun.
It's not the sun.
I just can't believe what I'm seeing.
That's not good. Here.
You give this card
to your mom, come in...
I'll set you up
with some quality shades.
Speakin' of the shade.
Come on, kid.
Follow me.
What's up with this "kid" crap?
Oh, nice, Timber. Go to second.
- All right, here we go. Another...
- Wings, go to first.
- [Benny] Nice catch.
- That guy taking the mound.
His name's Timber.
That kid can throw some real heat.
- Yeah.
- But he can't pitch at batters, right?
Yeah, left or right. Put anybody in the box,
his arm turns into spaghetti.
- Whoa!
- Sorry.
Okay, that's good.
Just keep throwin' 'em a little lower.
You're doin' good.
Should have worn a batting helmet.
You know a lot
about these kids for a new kid.
- [Chuckles]
- What do you know about Wok and Roll?
It's a little old school.
Lately I've been getting into some
hip-hop, some rap here and there.
What? I'm talking about
Matt "Wok" Wakamoto...
and Rolando "Roll" Alvarez.
Of course.
Wok and Roll.
- How could I forget those guys?
- "Forget those guys"?
No, no. I mean, together they play great,
separate they play awful.
If you know so much about these guys,
how come I don't know you?
How come you're not playing?
Okay, guys, bring it in.
Bring it in.
- [Boy] You guys, go. Come on.
- [Boy #2] Go!
Okay, now...
do one of you guys have the guts
to hit off a real major leaguer?
- Oh, no, not me.
- I gotta rest my arm, Benny.
- No, he's your guy.
- I'm the catcher.
Right here, partner.
Right here.
Guys, I gotta see this. Okay, fine.
[Boy #2]
He's gonna get his butt whupped.
- Come on, strike him out, Benny.
- Come on, Benny.
- Strike him out.
- All right.
- What's your name, kid?
- Tommy Santorelli.
And I promise you this.
You're not gonna forget it, Benny.
- Ooh!
- Oh, man.
- Ho, ho.
- Who does this kid think he is, hank Aaron?
- I like your confidence, kid.
- Now let's see what you got.
- This is like deja vu.
- What's like deja vu?
- This is like deja vu.
What's like deja vu?
Got ya.
I'm just gonna go nice and easy
on ya at first, okay?
You know what, Benny? That's always
been your problem. You're too nice.
- Excuse me?
- You're excused.
Now bring it.
And Santa takes it
to the North Pole.
Nice shot, kid.
All right, now a little more.
You're gonna have to do
better than that, Benny. Come on.
Yeah, I think his swing
might be better than Hank Aaron's.
All right, now, I'm gonna give you
a little more heat, okay?
Please hit this.
Don't worry about it.
I'm the Santa. Come on.
Good pick, kid.
Wait. Your name's Ryan, right?
Hey, what do you say?
Where'd you learn
to hit like that, kid?
Starin' down the likes
of Randy Johnson, Roger Clemens.
- You learn fast, or you die trying.
- Who are those guys?
- Must be seventh graders.
- Seventh graders.
Hey, with him on our team,
we could enter the all-city championships.
- "Enter"? You guys could win it.
- Very high probability.
Wait a minute, guys. Who said anything
about me playing on your team?
I'm not gonna be here that long.
Look at it this way. I showed you
how it's done. That's my gift to you.
Hey, they don't call me
the Santa for nothin'.
- [Grumbling]
- Stupid Santa.
You got some talent, kid.
There's a lot more
to baseball than talent.
Maybe you should have taken some
of that advice in the '81 World Series.
I like you, kid.
You got quite the imagination.
'81 World Series, huh?
- You guys see that homer?
- It was pretty good, right?
- Yeah.
- You need to show us how.
- Squints! How's it goin' there, buddy?
- Like you really care.
Just being polite.
EJ., all the way to the fence now.
What are you doing here, Needman?
- Taking some measurements.
- Measurements? For what?
Oh, didn't you hear?
City's putting the sandlot up for sale.
- You can't sell the sandlot.
- Oh, yeah, they can, and I'm buying it.
- Excuse me?
- Face it, Squints.
This old field has run its course.
Besides, there's no real talent
over here nowadays anyway.
Well, you didn't see what I just saw.
Well, I know that I can fetch
a nice price tag...
on some newly developed condos
right where we're standing.
Well, as long as I'm commissioner here,
I don't see that happening.
Yeah? Well, then clean your glasses...
because you got the future
right here, and you don't even see it.
Don't slack that off now!
E. J! Take it all the way
out to the fence.
[Continues, Indistinct]
So, did you have fun playing today?
It was a little below my league,
but, yeah, I think I did.
That's great, sweetie.
I'm glad.
How was your day?
Are you feeling all right?
I'm feeling fine, sweetie.
You're sweet for asking though.
- Wow. I've really missed our movie nights.
- What are you talking about?
We haven't missed
a movie night in months.
Oh, I hope this movie
isn't too scary for you.
Young Frankenstein?
It gets funnier every time I see it.
[Two Ton] Great. Now we gotta wait
two hours to talk to him.
Why do we need this kid
on our team anyway?
- With him we could have a real team.
- Maybe win the championship.
- Yeah!
- Who cares about those butt-faces anyway?
I care about kicking
those butt-faces' butts.
- He wasn't that "boffanado."
- I took some calculations today.
At the risk of sounding like a dweeb...
if you don't count the pitch
he didn't swing at...
Tommy's batting average was 1,000.
You are L-7 weenies.
Guys. Guys, let's go.
Let's go. Come on.
- Shh!
- Shh!
- Two Ton's goin' in.
- Open the window.
[Pounding, Grunting]
- You okay over there?
- [Breaks Wind]
Oh! He got me
with my mouth open.
[Two Ton] Oh, I knew I shouldn't
have had that last cheeseburger.
Sometimes you gotta
wait five minutes.
- [Grunting]
- Just relax and let it come out.
- What I do is, I count backwards.
- [Grunting Continues]
- Five.
- [Grunting]
- Ooh.
- Three.
- Two.
- [Moans]
That's it.
I bet you feel better already.
- [Groans]
- [Clamoring]
- [Clattering]
- [Groaning]
- You okay, buddy?
- [Indistinct]
- [Chattering]
- [Thump]
- [Thumping Continues]
- Did you want to borrow some T. P?
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
- [Chattering]
- Get off me. Come on.
I should have known.
- There's only one stall.
- Yeah. One.
We all had to go bad.
You're not gonna rat on us,
are you, Uncle Pork Chop?
Yeah. Yeah, we're not here
to see the movie or anything.
No. We just wanted
to see the new kid.
He's our only shot
at the all-city championship.
- Yeah.
- Relax, boys.
The big Pork Chop
wasn't always a cop.
Besides, it's my night off.
- Oh.
- Just as long as we don't have a situation here.
We're not gonna have
a situation here, are we?
- No.
- Are you sure?
You wait here for my signal.
- Evening, Pork Chop.
- Hey, Casper. Can I get some popcorn?
- You bet.
- Thanks.
Here you go. It's fresh.
Good. Oh, Uh...
I'll take a little bit of butter on that.
- Oh, of course.
- Thank you.
- Well, it's topping, but...
- Yeah.
Here it is.
There you are.
- Thank you very much.
- Yeah. Everything okay?
- You seem a bit edgy.
- No, I'm fine. I'm fine.
- Just a little parched. I could do with a Fanta.
- Yeah!
- An orange Fanta, if you have one.
- Yeah, of course.
- Fanta.
- Thanks.
- Here's, uh... here you go.
- Thank you very Much.
That's good. That's good.
I'm feelin' a little peckish though.
- What else can I get for you?
- Listen, can I get some Jujubes too?
- Jujubes comin' up.
- Thanks.
- There you go.
- Mm-mmm. Okay, that should just about do it...
except now I need something sweet.
- [Whispering] Goobers.
- Is everything all right?
Yeah, just a little athlete's foot.
[Two Ton Whispering]
Don't open 'em.
- You're one of the good ones, Cassie.
- Okay.
[Electrical Sputtering]
This movie gets funnier
every time I see it.
Psst! Guys, I got 'im.
Hey, Tommy.
Hey, Tommy, Mrs. Santorelli.
How you guys doin'?
What are you guys doing here?
- Stop it.
- What?
Why don't you take your friends
outside so you can talk?
I'll miss the part where
the monster sings and dances.
I love this part.
What do you mean,
the monster sings and dances?
- Nothing. I'll just go.
- [Man Shouting In Movie]
- It's my favorite part.
- You guys, come on.
Excuse me.
Hi, Mrs. Santorelli.
Look, fellas, I appreciate
you asking and everything...
but truth is I have too much
going on in my life right now.
We wouldn't be here
if we didn't need you.
Truth is, we're not exactly
what one would call "good."
I'm sorry, guys. I can't.
- Hey!
- Tommy, I'm only gonna ask you this once...
so I want you to be completely
honest with me, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- Can you spot me 25 cents for some Goobers?
- God.
- Are you serious?
- Geez Louise.
- I only have a nickel.
- My guess is you guys don't have any tickets.
What do you got to say for yourself?
We're with him.
- Kill the monster.
- "Kill the monster"?
Kill the monster!
- See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya.
- Smell ya. Shouldn't have to tell ya.
- Bye, bye.
- Adios.
- [Clamoring]
- Hey, I'm calling the cops.
Hey! Come back here.
Officer Pork Chop, I need you.
Hey, manager,
you can't catch me.
- I see your faces.
- [Boy] Not now.
Where are your parents?
Pork Chop, some help here?
- Come on, let's go!
- Keep running.
- Excuse me.
- [Boy] Ow! He almost got me.
Come on!
Okay, we're out. We're out.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Goobers. Goobers.
- Come on, Two Ton.
- Hey!
I have needs.
I got ya!
Oh, I got ya right there.
Hey, usher guy,
I found my tickets.
There's only two.
What about all the other guys?
What other guys?
Hey! You...
One chocolate shake comin' up.
Why, hello there, sweetie.
Who are you callin' sweetie, junior?
Just trying to be friendly,
that's all.
All right, little lady-killer...
why don't you lean back
and tell me what you want.
How about a coffee?
A coffee? At your age?
You crack me up, kid.
Here's a cherry Coke.
Kids these days wanna grow up so fast.
Look, I'm not gonna play.
There's just too much going on in my life
right now you just wouldn't understand.
Hit me again?
All right, look.
I might as well tell you.
It's not like you're gonna
go tell anybody, right?
I'm not supposed to be here.
I was transported back here from the future.
I'm really a superstar.
Last season I hit a.328 for the Dodgers.
I was on a box of Wheaties.
I'm gonna be elected
into the Hall of Fame.
Chicks dig me.
Men wanna be me.
That's my real life.
Not this place.
I don't know if this is a dream...
or a second chance...
or what.
I'm gonna enjoy it
for as long as it lasts...
'cause of one reason
and one reason only.
My mom's here.
I'm gonna spend as much time
with her as possible.
I knew you'd understand.
Hey, Ryan?
Thanks for listening, buddy.
- That boy's mute.
- Yeah, I know.
- What happened there?
- He hasn't spoken a word...
- since his father died four years ago.
- Whoa.
- How much do I owe you?
- It's on the house. Get out of here.
By the way, this fall,
Jimmy Carter wins.
Cat got your tongue?
More like cat got his brain.
Teach this punk a lesson, boys.
Hey, why don't you
leave the kid alone?
- Yeah? Why don't you mind your own business?
- Man.
I forgot how much
of a chump you were, E.J.
- How do you know my name?
- 'Cause no one forgets the town bully.
- You got a big mouth, you know that?
- Hey, you're that new kid...
The one that everyone says
is the best baseball player in town.
No, no, no. I'm the new kid
that's asking you politely...
to let the kid go on his way.
- And if we don't?
- Do you really wanna find out?
You're outnumbered seven to one.
Yeah, and the odds
aren't exactly in your favor.
Everything cool over here?
Saved by the cavalry.
I don't need them to take you on, E.J.
You'll need anything
you can get your hands on...
- "Santa-smelly."
- Okay, look.
I'm not gonna get into this sophomoric,
name-calling contest with a kid.
Frankly, it's beneath me.
Well, maybe it's because
you're a "lame-oid" loser...
- with pimple breath.
- That's an intelligent comeback.
Got any more, Einstein?
Or is that all your pea brain is capable of?
- [Laughter]
- "Pea brain"? That's a really good one, man.
You gonna let him
get away with that, E. J?
You know, you should
spend more time...
working on your baseball practice
than your weak insults.
- Insulting you isn't work.
- Oh, yeah?
It comes pretty easy.
Dog face. Turd mouth.
Rotten-faced bonehead.
Ignorant, pathetic
I have no idea what that means,
but it sounded good, guys.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
At least my girlfriend
doesn't wear a collar.
I heard your girlfriend got
kicked out of an ugly contest...
because they said
no professionals allowed.
Now, is it true that your mother
smacked the doctor when you were born?
- [Imitates Rim Shot]
- Oh. Speaking of mothers...
do you guys need another player?
'Cause my mom plays ball pretty good,
and she's better than all you fools.
Sorry. What was that?
Go ahead.
Go ahead. Go ahead. I can't...
I can't hear you. I'm listening. Go ahead.
Well, at least my mom's not sick.
You ever say something
like that again, I will ruin you.
- Oh, yeah?
- Don't mess with me on this, E.J.
I'll go Tarantino on you so fast...
- you won't know what hit you.
- Tear a what?
That's some kind of martial arts.
In moron terms...
it means I'm gonna hurt you.
I'm gonna hurt you real bad,
you got that?
And you, weirdo.
Next time be a man.
Fight your own battles.
Let's go, guys.
Yeah, beat it.
- Get out of here.
- We don't like you here anyway.
You okay, man?
- Do we get to play him?
- [All] Yeah.
Sure do.
- I'm in.
- [All] Yeah!
Hey, Mom, I was thinking
about joining a team...
with those kids from the movie
the other night.
That's if you're feeling okay.
Are you down with that?
Honey, I'm feeling fine.
And why would you possibly think
I'd be down with it?
I'm definitely up with it.
- [Door Opens, Closes]
- Groovy.
- If you want it to ride?
- Mm-hmm?
- Throw it two-seam, okay?
- Two seam?
Come on, Timber, let's go.
- Two seam.
- Right down the middle.
Ow! Timber, take it easy.
Come on, D.P. You're such a wimp.
Get in the game.
What are you whining about?
Why don't you come and play catcher.
- That's where you belong anyhow.
- Just because I'm husky doesn't mean
I have to play catcher.
- Two Ton?
- What?
- You're not husky.
- See?
- You're fat.
- That's it.
The death of Wok and Roll,
right here, right now. Come here!
- Whoa!
- Run!
- Guys!
Can we play some baseball?
- Is practice always like this?
- No.
- Sometimes Two Ton chases somebody else.
- Come on, Timber.
- Just pretend like I'm not here, okay?
- Batter up, guys. Let's go.
- Two seam again?
- Two seam.
Just try to hit my bat, okay?
- [Groans]
- Ooh! Sorry.
Wrong bat, Timber.
- Guys, look at this.
- [Groaning Continues]
What are we gonna do
about Timber's control problems?
I bet Wings has got
some good ideas.
[High Voice]
Timber, if I live, you're dead.
I don't know about you guys,
but I'm gettin' a cup.
- Hey, Two Ton.
- What do you want?
I got a hurts doughnut.
You want one?
- Doughnut? Sure.
- Okay.
- Hurts, don't it?
- Hurts, don't it?
You know something?
You guys are better than I remember.
With a little help from me,
I can hammer you into a winning team.
How ever can we repay you,
your holiness of baseball?
Look. All we wanted you to do
was play with us 'cause you're real good.
We didn't ask you
to coach or anything.
Squints coaches the games,
and Benny comes by when he can.
- We just needed another player.
- How often can Benny come by?
His team's hanging on by a thread...
and with me gone,
he's got nobody to work with.
What you talkin' about?
I heard Benny the Jet hurt his knee
in Cincinnati last night.
I heard it's pretty serious. Uncle Chops
said he was gonna be out for six weeks.
Hey, knowing Benny, he'll be playing in two.
That knee's always trouble.
Yeah? In '96, he got that replaced
and it ended his car...
- Car... Career?
- 1996?
- I've gotta go.
- [D.P.] Replaced his knee?
But if we are gonna be a real team,
we're gonna need some equipment...
bats, balls, a new glove for Wings
and some pads for D.P.
The last thing I wanna be is a coach.
I just figure
that if we're gonna play...
we should play like pros
and play to win.
See ya.
[Indistinct Conversations]
- Order!
- [Chattering]
Please, people.
- Mr. Needman still has the floor.
- Thank you, Mr. Chairman.
I know most of you have a sentimental
attachment to that old sandlot.
Heck, I even used to play ball
there myself, back in the day.
The truth of the matter is...
that old sandlot is sitting
smack-dab in the middle...
of some very profitable land
for this town.
Now, I am not gonna stand up here
and lie to you fine people...
and tell you that
I'm not in this to make a buck...
because I am,
and I sure will.
The fact remains, this town
has seen some hard times lately...
and we could use this.
Now if this council votes
to allow me to build...
the condominiums I'm proposing
will bring nice, affordable housing...
more jobs and more pride.
Now let's be honest.
Who couldn't use a little of that nowadays?
I can't believe this.
Come on, folks.
The only thing that Earl Needman
has ever cared about...
- is fattening his wallet.
- [Man] That's right.
Now, if we vote
to let him do this now...
we're losing something more important
than any of us can imagine.
And what would that,
Mr. Palledorous?
- Our history.
- [Man] Yeah.
And our future. How many of you
grew up playing ball in that field?
- [Man] I did.
- And how many of you...
are willing to take that
opportunity away from your kids?
This man is,
unless we stop him now.
[Cheering, Chattering]
Well, it, uh, seems
we all have a lot to consider.
We'll reconvene next
on July the second...
and we'll decide
on this matter then, huh?
- Meeting adjourned.
- [Chattering]
People, this is the chance
of a lifetime.
Chance of a lifetime! People...
[Thunder Rumbling]
Chance of a lifetime...
Wake up, darling.
- [Groans] What happened?
- You crashed after the game.
You've been asleep for a few hours now,
but Lou's here to see you.
- Lou? What's my agent doing here?
- [Cell Phone Ringing]
That's me. Lou.
That's chump change.
Call me back with the real deal.
I've got shoes
that cost more than that.
New York Yankees.
The Big Apple, baby!
New York? But, Tommy,
I took my residency here.
Babe, we're talking
about the New York Yankees.
That's 3,000 miles away.
Tommy is a money machine.
The owners, they want to buy him, okay?
The fans, they want to pay to see him.
He is what baseball should be...
caps, T-shirts, memorabilia,
cash just for signing your name.
They have these things called
bobble-head dolls now. All right?
It's payday,
and New York is the ticket.
That's the way it was,
the way it always will be.
Yankees! Yankees.
They are making me
the offer of a lifetime.
- I thought that's what I was doing.
- [Tapping]
- Can you hear that?
- Not now.
Tommy, this is us we're talking about.
Baby, I love you.
Judy, no!
[Judy's Voice]
You're not gonna get another chance.
- [Tapping]
- [D.P.] Tommy, wake up.
Tommy, you're gonna miss
the chance of a lifetime.
Come on. Open it.
We're going to get
that equipment you talked about.
- In the middle of the night? What's open?
- Old Man Mertle's house.
- [Q] Yeah.
- It sounds like breaking and entering.
- The place is abandoned.
- Except for the treasure.
You want to stay
on the right side of the law.
- [Imitating Chickens]
- Told you he wouldn't go.
Come on. Let pretty boy here
get his beauty sleep.
Go now, Tommy. You're not gonna
get a second chance at this.
Hold on. I'll come.
- [Thunder]
- [Two Ton] Can somebody please tell me...
why we didn't go over the back fence?
[Wok] Because pushing your fat butt
over could get real stinky.
[D.P.] So I heard that Mr. Mertle
was once a great baseball player...
until he went blind after getting hit
with a baseball in the head.
Legend has it that he has a secret stash
of old baseball stuff.
So what ever happened to Mr. Mertle?
Some say he just died.
Others say he up and vanished.
- Hit in the head with a baseball?
- Vanished?
- [Two Ton] Guys, I just saw something move.
- Guys, it's just a house.
- If we're going to do this, let's do it.
- What about the ghost?
[D.P.] All right. Come on. Let's go.
All right. Move! Move! Move!
- [All] Shut up, D. P!
- All right, move your butts.
- [Wok] Hey, check it out.
- [Roll] Hercules?
Who names their dog Hercules?
It was probably just some
Chihuahua or something.
You know how people name their dog
just the opposite of what they are.
- That must have been a grande Chihuahua, man.
- % % [Whistles]
- [Thunder]
- [Boy] Let's go.
This... This is crazy, guys.
That's it. I'm out of here.
Oh, come on. Don't be such a wuss.
I thought we were a team.
All right, then.
Go ahead, you're up.
I say we send in one of the little guys,
kind of like a scout.
Since when does the shortest guy
have to go first?
When the taller guys tell him to.
- Speaking of short guys, where's Ryan?
- [Wok] Yeah, where is he?
- Where is he? He was here?
- [All Screaming]
- It's Ryan!
- Ohh!
- Gutsy move, kid. Pretty impressive.
- [Boy] What was that for?
[Tommy] You guys check this floor.
I'll check upstairs.
[All Screaming]
That's a big baseball.
- [Shouting]
- [Screaming]
That's not funny, you idiot!
Whoa! That's a big baseball.
[Both Scream]
[Both Sigh]
- You stay here.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna check over there, okay?
- Yeah.
- Bats!
- Baseball bats?
- No, bat bats!
- [Squeaking]
[Both Screaming]
If I were something
really important...
where would I be?
- [Sighs] Let's go, guys.
- Come on.
[Both Screaming]
- There's nothing down there.
- Except for bats.
- [Timber] Baseball bats?
- [Together] No. Bats bats.
Oh, okay. There's nothing
here, either.
Yeah, this place is a bust.
Hey, up there. Let's beat it.
- Come on, let's go.
- Let's go.
Come on, guys.
What is that?
My best guess would be a hole.
- I told you there's treasure in here.
- This is treasure, all right.
But why leave it
in such an obvious place?
[Clunking, Creaking]
I've got a bad feeling
about this, guys.
What should we do?
Hey, guys!
- [Screaming]
- [All Screaming]
% % [Man Singing]
- [Screaming]
- Get it off!
% % [Continues]
Oh, no.
- [Rumbling]
- % % [Continues]
That's a big baseball.
- % % [Ends]
- [D.P.] You brought the ball?
- Of course.
- Then I think we've got everything.
- We do now. This is the real treasure.
- [Two Ton] Whoa.
[D.P.] Yeah, it's signed by all
the '63 Dodgers. Koufax. Drysdale.
- Tommy Davis.
- The whole team!
- I say we sell it.
- That's loco.
- No, you loco.
- Imagine what you can get for this on eBay.
- [Together] What bay?
Nothing. I don't ever think we should
sell this ball. I mean, it's why we found it.
Old man Mertle's
trying to tell us something.
- I think he's right, guys.
- So what do you say? Deal?
- [All] Deal!
- Our ball!
- Our lucky charm.
- Our championship.
- On three, guys. One, two, three!
- [All] Sandlots!
- Yeah!
- Let's go!
Now, I've seen it
time and time again.
Teams not playing
up to their full potential.
- Time and time again?
- I've been around, Wings.
Now, listen, the thing of it is,
you guys could be good.
You guys got the stuff, but we're going
to have to work on some basics...
play heads-up ball,
work together as a team, all right?
- Yeah!
- All right.
- Now just remember, baseball's more than just...
- Talent.
- Benny?
- Benny!
- What's up, man?
- Hey!
- Hey, man.
- Hey, how's it going? We missed you.
- How's the ankle, man?
- Oh, it's okay. I figured instead
of laying around the house...
I'd come out and see how
the old sandlot gang is doing, right?
- Yeah!
- What about you, Santorelli?
Seems like you've had
a change of heart since a few days ago.
I've seen some things, that's all.
Yeah? Well, I'm glad.
What do you say you take center field,
then shag some fly balls?
I mean, that is, if there's room
for more than one coach on this team.
- [Chuckles]
- I'd say that's... boffanado!
- Here, let me take those for you.
- Ah, thanks, D.P.
Thanks, Benny.
- Right here, Benny.
- Come on, Ben.
All right, let's turn two!
- % % [Man Singing]
- Nice.
% % [Continues]
Turn two.
Hit the cutoff.
- Slide!
- There you go!
- % % [Continues]
- Come on. Come on.
All right!
Okay. New plan.
Okay, try it again.
D.P., give me a target.
Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig!
All right, he was out.
All right, so.
Ear, chin, ear, chin.
Slap, slap, slap.
Good jobs, you guys.
All right, bring it in. Bring it in.
- % % [Ends]
- [Groans]
- Nice catch.
- [Chattering]
Yeah, that was...
that was so groovy.
Well, what do you say, Santorelli?
Think these guys are ready
for the city tournament?
Yeah, I think they can bring it.
- Bring it? What?
- What?
- What were we supposed to bring?
- Home. Bring it home to the sandlot!
- [All] Oh!
- Not so fast, guys.
- Squints!
- You can't be a real team without...
- Uniforms!
- Whoa!
Squints, they look perfect!
- Far out.
- Just like you.
- Here you go, kid.
- All right.
- Come on, guys, pick a number.
- Whoa.
- I've got seven!
- I've got first dibs on 12!
% % [Patriotic]
Welcome one and all to the Valley
Little League Baseball Tournament.
Yes, where all teams are invited...
but only one team gets to take home
this here trophy.
So let's get to it. Play ball!
[All Shouting]
- % % [Rock]
- Okay, guys.
% % [Continues]
Come on, guys. Get back to the dugout.
Come on.
[Two Ton]
Strike him out, Timber.
[Man] Out!
Come on, Ryan. Get it!
% % [Continues]
- Come on, Tommy!
- [Cheering]
Yeah, Tommy!
- Hey, that Santorelli kid, he ain't bad.
- Ain't bad?
The kid's the best thing to happen to the sandlot
since the day Benny conquered the beast.
[Two Ton]
Make way for Two Ton.
- Play ball!
- [Woman] All right, Two Ton.
All right, Two Ton,
bring Tommy home.
Let's go.
Strike one!
[Timber] Keep going! Keep going!
Keep going, keep going!
% % [Continues]
- Down! Down!
- He's safe!
- Nice!
- Ohh!
- Out!
- [Cheering]
- That's two in a row.
- Two to go.
We keep this up, we'll be playing
Needman's team in the championships.
With Tommy, I think
we might actually have a shot.
All right, fellows, good game.
Get in the dugout, batting order. Let's go.
Hey, Chop. Any inside word
on the city council vote?
Oh, yeah. Split straight down
the center every time.
What's it going to take to
get this thing behind us?
% % [Continues]
Mom! Mom! We won! We won.
That's great, sweetheart.
- % % [Ends]
- Honey, we have a visitor.
Mr. Needman came by and has something
very important to talk to you about.
I saw you play today. You've got a lot
of potential, if you're on the right team.
[Projector Whirring]
[Crowd Cheering]
Of course.
[Gavel Raps]
Mr. Chairman,
have we come to a decision?
Sadly, we have not. The vote
was a dead tie every time we took it...
which brings us
to a crossroads, I'm afraid.
We will have to push this back
until next quarter.
You can't do that!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute now.
We have to act on this now.
- [Man] Yes.
- I'm open to suggestions.
- Why don't you just give it
to my dad? He deserves it.
- Shut up.
Well, Mr. Chairman, if I may...
I think I have a solution that would be
the fairest way to settle this matter.
I'd love to hear it.
Well, I'm not one
to believe in miracles...
but it appears
Mr. Palledorous's Sandlot team...
is playing my team in the All-Valley
Championship Baseball Tournament.
Yes, we're all proud
of our sandlot boys.
I propose a challenge.
If my team wins, we get to build
and develop on the sandlot.
Mr. Palledorous's team wins,
the sandlot stays.
- I'm in for that. Hear, hear!
- [Chattering]
All right.
We have no objections, if Mr. Palledorous
will honor the challenge.
Do it, Squints.
The kids are playing great ball...
and with Santorelli in center field,
we can't be beat.
All right, Mr. Chairman.
We accept the challenge.
On one condition.
The game for the sandlot
is played on the sandlot.
- [Cheering]
- Done!
So, you see, guys? I have no choice.
I have to play for Needman.
I made the over-the-wall catch
in the bottom of the ninth...
to win the All-City Championship.
And Needman had the St. Agnus coach come
to that game, and he saw the whole thing.
So, you see, it was because of that catch
I got into St. Agnus Prep.
Because of my years in St. Agnus,
I got scouted and drafted in the first place.
So I have to do it.
I've got no other choice here.
Plus my mom thinks
it's the best thing for me.
I can't risk my whole future
for the sandlot, can I?
Maybe you're the one who
shouldn't speak for a while.
You can talk?
Hey, wait! Ryan!
Hold on a sec!
Hey, why did you do that?
You play with us, teach us all
this great stuff about baseball...
being a team,
playing together.
- Now you're going to up and leave us?
- But I have to.
You don't have to do nothing.
You're a crock, man.
We looked up to you. You made us
feel for the game, and it showed.
- I thought we were showing you something too.
- Yeah? What's that?
Friendship, dummy.
- [Baseball Bat Cracks]
- Yeah, get it, Tommy.
- Come on, Tommy!
- Come on! Come on!
- [Boy] What? Come on.
- [Boy #2] What was that?
Look, I don't know how
you do things over there in Loserville...
but here we have a way
of doing things.
We hit the cutoff man.
Do you understand me?
Just let me do what I have to do.
Leave me alone, E.J.
- Something wrong, Santorelli?
- I'm here, aren't I?
Yeah, well, at the big
championship game...
I'm going to need you more
than just here, you understand?
A lot of people counting on you, boy.
- I'll be fine.
- For your sake, I hope so.
And the rest of you guys,
you've all got to work harder.
I bet that other team is busting their butts
trying to get ready for this game!
- [D.P.] Oh! No way!
- Seven jawbreakers, ladies and gentlemen!
- Whoa, good job, Two Ton.
- He's gonna pop, guys!
[All Screaming]
You've got to lay off the jawbreakers, man.
You're gonna put somebody's eye out.
Hey, guys, shouldn't we be
practicing for the big game?
Give me some more.
I'm going for eight.
- [D.P.] Beat your own record.
- Put them in.
- Go! Go!
- Put more.
- Hey, sorry I'm late, buddy.
- Oh, Benny.
You didn't have to come help. I'm sure
you must have more important things to do.
Come on.
What's more important than this?
Looks good.
The old gang would be proud.
[Squints] hey, did you hear ham
is wrestling at the State Fair next month?
The old hambino is still at it, huh?
- How's your knee?
- Ah, Doc says I'll probably be
out for the rest of the season.
- I'm sorry, Benny.
- Hey, don't be. I'll be all right.
Nothing like it though, huh?
Coming out to the old ball field,
spending the summer with your friends...
- playing the sport you love.
- Yeah.
Playing in the majors
must be really great, huh?
I was talking about you guys.
[Ryan's Voice]
Friendship, dummy.
- So how's Wendy?
- Great.
- [Benny] Yeah? How many kids you got now?
- Oh, four.
- Bet they're keeping you busy.
- Yeah.
Why aren't you at the game?
I don't know if I should go.
Why not?
Because I need to be here with you.
Honey, come here.
I'm so grateful to have
such a wonderful son.
Now you go play
the game you love.
I'll be here when you get back.
Good things happen
to good people, Tommy.
I'll come home as soon
as the game's over.
I promise.
I love you, Mom.
- [Man] I know. Exactly. That's the problem.
- Sit down. I saved a spot.
This place is a disaster.
- This place is a gift.
- What do you mean?
I helped my dad measure this dump. We cream
the ball, even you could hit a home run.
- [Needman] Let's go, guys.
Go on. Get in here. Hustle up!
- Yeah!
- So what are we going to do today?
- [All] Win!
That's right, and I'm gonna bulldoze
this place first thing in the morning.
Hey, Bill!
- How are you doing?
- Better than a doubleheader on Sundays.
- What do you got for me today?
- I got something good for you today.
- I hope it's better than that hair.
- Yeah. Yeah. E. J!
- Come on over here. You remember E.J.
- Oh, absolutely.
- E.J., how are you doing?
- How could I forget? Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too. But how about that
Santorelli kid I've been hearing about?
- They tell me a lot about him.
I want to see him.
- Oh, yeah, yeah. Uh, Tommy.
- Come on over here.
I've got somebody for you to meet.
- Hey, Tommy. How are you doing?
I've heard a lot about you. I've come to watch
you play. I want to see what you can do.
- Yeah. E.J. Here, he's been...
- I've been practicing.
- I've heard a lot about you too.
- Okay, well, I'm going to go warm up.
- All right, Tommy. Nice to meet you.
- Nice seeing you.
- I'm gonna go warm up.
You won't be disappointed.
- All right. Yeah, l... I hope not.
No. E.J., he's...
he's been improving, yeah.
- Yeah, well, he has great coaching.
- Yeah, yeah, that's right, yeah.
Welcome to the Valley Little League
Tournament championship game.
Ladies and gentlemen, will you please
rise for our national anthem.
% % [Patriotic]
- % % [Ends]
- Let's do this!
- Dork.
- [Boy] All right. Let's go.
Let's cream these losers.
Good luck.
They'll be sorry
they were ever born.
I still can't believe
he'd play for Needman!
- I knew he was a traitor all along.
- So duplicitous.
Man, we are so dead. Not only did we
lose Tommy, but we're minus a player.
- All right, guys, listen up...
- I've got something to say.
- What?
- Did Ryan just speak?
I've been around you guys
for a long time.
One thing I know is that Benny's right.
You guys love baseball.
You eat, drink and sleep baseball,
but nothing compares to playing it.
If we give up now, well, you can say
good-bye to the sandlot forever.
- But you don't...
- Zip it, tubby!
It's my turn to talk.
Tommy taught us a lot
about baseball skills.
Instead of being mad at him, let's show him
exactly what he failed to learn from us...
how to play the game we love.
I don't know about you guys, but I don't want
to lose this field to a bunch of butt-faces.
- The mouth on that kid.
- So what are we gonna do today, boys?
- We're gonna win!
- That's right.
All right, guys.
What he said.
Everybody in.
- Yeah!
- [All] One, two, three! Sandlots!
- I need to talk to you, Needman.
- Hey, isn't that that Santorelli kid?
I thought he was on the Sandlot team.
It ain't over till the fat lady sings.
Oh. Oh, uh, sorry.
- Take your position, Santorelli.
You can tell me after the game.
- But I need to talk to you!
Yeah! Whoo!
Are you deaf, son?
Move it. Now!
- Santorelli!
- What is he doing?
Where are you going?
I told you your position.
Wait! What are you doing, boy?
Son, you do not want to do this.
- What do you want?
- I want to win.
Yeah, so do we.
- Get lost, Tommy.
- Yeah, vamoose. We don't need you.
Look, I made a mistake.
- I'm sorry.
- What are you saying?
I made a deal to play for Needman's team,
because I thought it was my destiny.
This isn't the part where
you go off about the Dodgers...
the Hall of Fame and your
smoking-hot girlfriends, is it?
No. This is the part where I throw
that all away to do what's right.
Play ball with my friends.
- What did I say?
- That is, if you'll have me.
Look, I would rather lose
a game with my real team...
than win one
for all the wrong reasons.
You made a bad mistake.
We're not gonna lose.
Take off that ridiculous uniform
and get ready to bat.
Thanks, Tommy.
Son, you had me going there.
What are you doing? Now, that is not
the right decision to make there, boy.
Hey, Earl.
I won't be needing this anymore.
- [Man] Whoa!
- [Cheering]
Hey, good thing
I didn't throw this away.
- Great to have you back, Tommy.
- [All] Yeah!
Son, you can kiss St. Agnus good-bye.
Yeah, and that's not the half of it.
- We're gonna play ball or what?
- [All] Yeah!
Let's play ball.
All right.
Let's go!
Nice hit, Tommy.
% % [Man Singing Country]
- % % [Continues]
- Oh, get under it! Get under it!
Yeah, I got it!
This way! No, that way! No...
- What are you doing?
- He's out of there!
Come on, Sandlots!
Yeah! Go! Go!
You're out!
Whoo! You can do it!
- Safe!
- Let's go, boys!
- Safe!
- Come on, Two Ton!
- Are you okay?
- Man down! Man down!
Man out.
- % % [Ends]
- Out!
[Timber] Come on, Tommy!
Send it to the North Pole.
[Boy] Hit a homer, Tommy!
Got a man on!
Walk him, son.
- But, Dad...
- You do what I say.
Hey, Needman. You really going to put
the tying run in scoring position?
Hey, Rodriguez, you coach your team
and I'll coach mine, all right?
But, Dad... I mean, Coach,
I can take this guy.
- I can get him out.
- Son, it is too risky.
Look, I got him down.
This punk can't hit the outside pitch.
- I promise you he's all mine.
- No, E.J.
You always said a Needman
never backs down from a fight.
Well, I'm not backing down.
All right,
but if you're wrong...
your new 10-speed bike is going
in the wood chipper, you understand me?
Two words: Wood chipper.
Play ball!
Strike one!
Good pitch, pitcher.
Strike two!
- Come on, boy.
- Don't worry about it, Tommy.
- [Cheering]
- [Man] Foul ball!
Nice try, Tommy.
Come on!
Put it through his kitchen!
Go, Tommy!
Hey, Santa, is that
the North Pole out there?
Go, Santa!
That's it, E.J.
You got him just where you want him.
You're out of here.
So is this next pitch.
- Run! Run! Run!
- [Glass Shattering]
I loved that 10-speed!
- Three more outs...
- And the sandlot is saved.
[Tommy] This is it, guys.
Three outs and the sandlot's ours forever.
One more thing. We're gonna use this ball
this inning for luck, remember?
Okay. On three!
- [Together] One, two, three! Sandlots!
- Let's go!
Hey, batter.
You've got some... 'sup on your shoe.
- What's 'sup?
- Oh, l-I don't know. What's up with you?
- Strike three!
- L... I wasn't ready!
I was gonna hit a homer!
- Get out of my way.
- You were supposed to walk.
I swing if I want to swing.
- [Exhales]
- [Boy] All right, guys, let's go.
- Keep your eye on the ball.
- [Wok] Strike him out!
- You're out!
- Nice!
Sucker. Two out, guys!
Two out.
Okay, one more out
and the sandlot lives.
- [Boy] One more out!
- Get 'em, E.J.
You're not number one for nothing.
- Like father, like son.
- Out of my way, dork.
Hey, what's that I smell?
- Come on, EJ!
- Oh, it's just Needman!
Don't strike out!
All right, Timber.
It's okay, Timber.
Come on, Timber.
- [Crowd Groans]
- [Woman] Come on!
He's just scared, Timber.
Give him the heat.
Let's go, Timber!
Time's a-wasting.
- Just throw it right in there.
Bring him the heat.
- Show him some heat!
[No Audible Dialogue]
[No Audible Dialogue]
That's my boy! Yeah!
- [Man] Yeah!
- [Cheering]
- Batter out!
- What?
- Look! What are you talking about?
- He caught the ball.
It touched no ground.
He's out!
- Yeah, guys!
- Tommy!
Nice catch, kid.
We're, uh, not going to have
a situation here, are we, Earl?
'Cause, uh,
we don't want a situation.
Yeah, Sandlot!
- Whoo!
- Yeah, all right!
- [Grunts]
- You were right about that Santorelli kid.
He's gonna be an all-star.
What about that deal with my son?
He's quite the athlete, huh?
I'm not looking for athletes. I'm looking
for ballplayers, and I just found one.
- [Cheering]
- Guys! Guys! Guys!
It's been the best game of my life.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Obviously.
- But I've got to go.
- What? We just won the big game.
At least stick around for the fireworks
and the trophy ceremony.
- [All] Yeah!
- I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry.
I gotta go see my mom.
Hey, guys.
- I think Benny's got something to say to you.
- Oh, yeah.
Uh, I think there's something over there
that belongs to you guys!
Wow! We did it!
The sandlot's been saved!
You always knew
how to make me proud.
[Labored Breathing]
- [Tap On Glass]
- [Ryan] Tommy.
- Tommy, you forgot this.
- What are you doing here?
You're going to miss the trophy
ceremony and the fireworks!
- [Fireworks Exploding]
- Who cares? This belongs to you.
- I think he's waking up, Doctor.
- [Man] Welcome back.
What happened?
Where am I?
You're at Cedars-Sinai, Tommy.
When I, uh, heard you took
a pitch to the head in practice...
I raced over here
to check in on you.
- Q?
- No one's called me that in years.
Oh, I had...
I had the strangest dream.
- Hey, he's awake, everyone.
- Well, who's here?
Are you kidding?
More like who isn't.
- Hey, there's my boy!
- Benny, what are you doing here?
- What? A manager can't visit his favorite player?
- His favorite what?
Yeah, you know, the guys have been here
almost every day. You know, just checking in.
- They were really worried about their captain.
- Captain?
- How could you scare me like that, you silly man.
- Judy?
I'm glad to see
you recognize your own wife.
L... I missed you so much.
I'm sorry that I ever left you.
- What are you talking about?
- When I went to New York to play for the Yankees.
[Benny] Hey, pal. You never
played for the Yankees.
You've been a Dodger
your whole career.
Hey, he may be a little groggy,
but don't worry, Judy. He'll be fine.
Remember, honey? You chose
to stay with me in L.A.
- I did?
- Yeah. Yeah, you did.
Heather. Oliver.
Daddy's awake.
- We-We have ki...
- Daddy! Daddy, you're awake!
Oh, we have kids.
- Hey. Hey, boy.
- Daddy, I was so worried about you.
Looks like this old ball still has
some luck in her yet, huh, buddy?
Do you realize how many calls
we get every day asking about you?
- Calls?
- Yeah. On my sports radio show.
Hey, some of the guys
want to come in and say hi.
[Thinking: Boys' Voices]
All right, Tommy!
It's just like you said, Mom.
Good things to good people.
[Crowd Cheering]
Tommy Santorelli...
14-time all-star...
three-time World Series champion,
M.V.P. Of two of them.
But, uh, that's not the only reason
he's going straight to Cooperstown.
Tommy could be the most loved player,
teammate and leader the game's ever seen.
Having played his entire
career for the Dodgers...
Tommy turned down big money
offers from other teams over the years.
But the thing he treasures
most to this day is saving the sandlot.
----the end---