Up in Daisy's Penthouse (1953) Movie Script

Boys! Boys!
Breakfast.
Good morning ma... ma...
ma... Good morning ma.
Now that I'm old your
father has divorced me.
Oh, he won't get away with that.
Don't worry, mom, we'll
bring him back alive.
Or in pieces.
Come on, fellas, we
gonna break up this way.
Yeah.
Hey fellas, it's dad up there!
Oh, I'm ... everything for the wedding.
And I get the marriage
license too, Daisy Waisy.
Here, you better hold
it, I may forget it.
Oh, good.
Oh, Popsie Woopsie, you've promised me
that you'll have that nasty
old sideburns in shave.
They tickle your baby.
Okay, Daisy Waisy, I'll go
right to the barber shop,
and I also have my hair die black,
so I look young and handsome.
Oh, wonderful.
I'm sorry, I can't stay to lunch,
but I don't to be late to the wedding.
We'll be back at three o'clock sharp.
My little honey pie.
Hey fellas!
We shall stop that wedding.
Listen, you won't...
Hey, how we're going in there?
Wait to hear of that.
Oh, a screwdriver.
Nah, that's a sledgehammer,
and I got a . Wait.
Just stay here now. Hold
still, I gonna beat down.
- Pardon me. Hold that.
- Oh, thank you.
Get me that hammer! I'll murder you!
No, no, no Moe, no, no!
- What's the meaning of this?
- Get up of here! Come on.
What are you doing here?
Ma sent us up here to keep
you to marry that blonde.
Yeah.
And I aim to do it, I aim to, I aim.
You termites!
- He still slaps.
- You bet.
Now, you boys be nice
and I let you come to my
wedding this afternoon.
Here's some money.
Go out and get yourself
some nice clothes.
Nothing doing. We'll not
gonna get you married,
- and you can't bribe me.
- Me too.
Me three.
Hey, you can't take that
from him. Give it back!
Hey!
Now get out of here and
let's you wanna dress
like human beings and
come to my wedding.
Okay, pop, you win.
Well, that's better.
Now you go in there and help
yourselves from my clothes.
- Oh, thanks, pa!
- Yes, you're great, daddy.
I'm going down in the barber shop
and have these wiskers taken off,
and I'm gonna have my hair die.
Wouldn't help you, pop.
Don't you get fresh
now, son because you...
I'll see you when I get back.
210, 211...
Wait a minute.
- Come here.
- Give back that money!
Get going.
We gotta find a way to
break up this wedding.
Oh, boy!
I got a golf suit.
Oh boy!
Hey!
Something smells awful.
What are you looking at me for?
Oh boy! You hit the jackpot!
Those moths lay a lot
of eggs, don't they?
This coat is...
Nitwit you!
I'm sorry, Moe, I'll turn around.
How can be Pop wear
clothes like these...?
Why you...!
- Wait. I didn't mean it, sure.
- Come on!
Go on, get out of here!
Well, I guess the
other pants are better.
Oh, pa maybe sits over an ice cream.
I'll take care of that.
There.
Cleaning fluid! How convenient!
Now I'll fix that.
That's it.
Oh, yeah?
- How I look, kid?
- Pretty good, that I say.
I see you have a thread
hanging, wait a minute, Moe.
- Then get it off.
- I got it.
There.
I wanna look pretty good, you know.
Boy, what a precious material.
Must be import, it smells to ocean.
Well, there it is.
Oh, yeah?
I'll have it in a minute, Moe.
A monocule!
Well, I'll wear this anyway.
Like them best.
Are you coming?
- There!
- Fine.
- What happened?
- Wait a minute, Moe.
Must be a mistake.
I'm sorry.
Why you...!
- Oh, pants.
- Hey, hey, wait a minute!
- Come on!
- Look out there!
Give me these.
Wait a minute, they are
mine! I saw them first.
- They're my size!
- Get me those!
Come on, don't you worry about that.
- Get off those pants!
- No, I'm not!
- Let me have that pants!
- Yeah?
Have me loose!
Give me those!
King Solomon would give each half.
So, I'm king Solomon.
Give me three.
- Hi baby!
- Well, I have the marriage license,
and the wedding's off at three o'clock.
Nice work, beauty!
You know, me and Chopper
decided have the wedding
up here in the penthouse.
Yeah, wouldn't be very polite
that we give the guy the
works in his own joint,
specially in his wedding day.
Die by me.
Atta girl! And after's
all over, you and I will blow
to Europe to spend the old
guy's dough. Don't, baby?
Come on, give a guy a chance!
Don't you have the mirror!
How you like that!
Popsie!
Where are you?
Oh, why, Popsie! You
look 20 years younger
with the sideburns
shaved dark in the hair .
You smell so sweet!
She is the girl dad's gonna marry.
- She thinks he's pa!
- Perfect. Come on.
I just came to get you.
I decided to have our wedding
in my brother's penthouse.
We're ready. I'm his best
man, this is his worst.
- Did you get the license?
- Oh, let's see.
Moe, I am not what I...
Popsie!
Here it is!
The wedding bells are such a ring...
Make yourself at home, Popsie, and boys.
Hey, she's very hospital, ain't she?
Yeah, but we better be very careful.
What's the matter with you?
Got nerves, I'm in a hurry all over.
Well, a drink will fix you up.
Come on, porpcupine,
we'll mix a M L frapp.
Go ahead, give me a hand.
Hey, would ma be tickled
when she finds out
that they marry Shemp instead of pa.
Yeah, but won't pa sizzler?
She would suppose to be his wife
and now she's gonna be his daughter.
Wait a minute. I think
it's a little too strong.
Okay.
- Here, shake it up.
- Shake it up.
Thank you.
- Sounds like it's done.
- Indroppedly.
Boy, we should miss the dippedly.
- Yes, we should did.
- Yeah.
What's the matter with you?
I'll knock your brains...!
Hello.
Put back these silver muglets.
- Moe, I ain't got no muglets.
- Put them back!
Put them back!
Why, you, I'll...!
We got knock the old men off, and quick.
Sure, as soon the mug marries
Daisy, I polish him on.
We can't shoot him. That'll
make too mucho noise.
Make too much noise.
I get it! As soon he get marry,
I take the mug dump out of the window.
He drops 14 stories, then
it looks like an accident.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
I'm glad that they made
up their mind, because...
Wait a minute! You think they mean me?
Well, they don't mean your uncle.
Hi, Popsie, are you
ready for the big leap?
Big leap, yes, I...
I won't g... get marry, I won't
I tell you, I wouldn't, I... I...
What are we waiting for?
- Come on.
- Moe, Moe...!
We are gather here today
to unite this coup...
I wonder what's keeping my Daisy Waisy.
Boy, would she be surprised
to see how young I look.
- Hello?
- Is Daisy there?
Yeah, but she can't come to the phone,
now she is busy get marry
to the old man Howard.
Thanks, I'll call later.
Marry? She can't do that, I ain't there.
But I'll be there, I'm coming right
over, that's what I'll do, by golly.
What do you like that? Look at this.
By the power invested in me, I
now pronounce you man and wife
until death do you part.
Listen, we can't throw
the old man out the window
while the justice of
peace is still here.
What can we'll do?
I get it! Let's dump him
down the elevator shaft.
Good boy. Now I tell you what you'll do.
You can't marry without me, Daisy Waisy.
Well, oh, it is here.
Original frapp, .
Oh boy, I had six of these one day.
Somebody's coming .
Oh, hiya boys.
Hey, where've you been?
- I'm looking my Daisy Waisy.
- Oh, I see.
Well, your Daisy Waisy is
waiting for you downstairs.
Oh, I better be down there quickly.
- You said it!
- Yes... No, no, no!
Where do you think you're going?
Upstairs.
That's that.
Let's head him off with the elevator.
Hey, are we drunk?
I don't understand it!
, hein? I'll call
the police! See by now!
- Get him!
- Come on!
What's the matter with you?
He locked it!
They're after me. Let's get out of here.
You're trying to kill me?
- Oh, the pole.
- Hurry up, up the pole!
- Go ahead.
- Get up.
Break it down!
Get up there, faster.
I'm doing my best. What do
you think, I'm a squirrel?
No, your ears are too short.
Come on, get up, will you?
- Get up higher!
- Higher, Shemp!
I can't, I run out the pole!
They're all set up first.
- Moe, Moe!
- Hey, look!
Let's cut off.
Hey, spread out!
So long, chumps!
Suffering cats, it's pa!
Quick, let's get him home to ma!
Am I bored, am I!
Come on home, pa!