Winning London (2001) Movie Script

The United Nations, headquartered
in NYC was founded in 1945.
With nearly 200 member nations...
... the U.N. 's committed to keeping peace
by international cooperation.
Thereby, making the world a safer,
healthier place.
Each year over 60,000 high school students
from around the world...
... participate in Model U.N.
Each school representing a country...
... sends a team of delegates to a
conference where they debate...
... pass resolutions, and have fun.
This year's international conference
is being held in London.
London, England. City of theater.
City of nightlife. City of history.
How did we five kids from Lakeview,
California, wind up in England...
... overlooking Parliament in
the most beautiful spot in London?
It all started three weeks ago
at our State Model U.N. Competition.
The whole team was backstage
waiting for the final round to begin.
Dylan, as always, had his video camera.
Okay, testing. Testing.
Okay, rolling. Rolling.
The human drama of competition.
The intense focus of mental strength.
We're live backstage
with Fairview High's model U.N. Team...
... as Captain Chloe Lawrence brushes up
on some last-minute facts and figures.
Dylan, I'm trying to concentrate.
Over here we have Brian Conners.
Star running back, Lakeview High.
Only joined the team to pad
his college resume.
Rachel Bird, your typical high school teen.
Driven, sensitive. Out to change the world.
Good luck with that.
And the last member of our team, Randall.
Dude's not too familiar with the bathing,
showering scene.
Let's go, guys. Bring it in.
Let's go. Bring it in, guys.
This is it. Okay. This is why we're here.
This is why we work hard.
Time to play. Time to step up to the plate.
Next up, Lakeview High.
Okay, all right. This is it.
Who wants the ball?
- I want the ball.
- I want the ball.
- ''Game on'' on three. One, two, three.
- Game On!
In conclusion,
who says you can't control the Internet?
Our government can.
Just as we can control
what's in our newspapers or on television.
Why do it?
Because it's important to protect
our people from dangerous ideas.
Ultimately, freedom of speech
does more harm than good.
Thank you.
Thank you, People's Republic of China.
Go, China!
On behalf of
the Regional Model United Nations.
It's been a great competition
and a great season.
Give yourselves a big round of applause.
And finally, the winner of the golden cup...
... for outstanding delegate performance
goes to...
... Ms. Chloe Lawrence.
Congratulations, Chloe.
Mr. Holmes?
My name is Julie Watson,
head of the international Model U.N.
Could I have a word with you?
There I was, ball on the 30-yard line...
...right to me. Beautiful pass.
- See you later.
- Take it easy, good seeing you again.
- Hey, Brian.
- Hey, kiddo, how you doing?
Lydia, this is Riley. Riley, this is Lydia.
Riley's my mother's best friend's daughter.
That's me. Mom's best friend's daughter.
This year's international competition
is being held in London in two weeks.
Each year, the international U.N. Gives
a scholarship to a team showing promise.
Or in this case, a student,
that shows promise.
Granted, usually the student has
a bit more support, but...
...well, we've picked her anyway.
''Her'' who?
Chloe Lawrence
and the Lakeview High Team.
- Youre picking us to participate in London?
- Es.
- In England?
- Es.
- London?
- Are you kidding?
- I can't go.
- What?
My sister's getting married.
She already hates me.
I can't miss her wedding.
What about me?
I'll do it.
Dude! Give it up for the Rilester.
We're going to London!
Riley! Riles, I know what you're up to.
What? I love Model U.N.
You get to talk about world issues...
...and vote on stuff.
Admit it. You want to get closer to Brian,
and this is your ticket in.
Am I missing something here?
Like a ''thanks for volunteering,'' maybe?
This competition is very important to me.
It's not some play-to-play thing
it's a play-to-win thing.
Chill, I'm down with
the whole peace-keeping thing.
- Fine.
- Fine.
And if you go all the way to London
and you don't ask Brian out...
...Ill kill you.
So, that's how we found ourselves
in the home of William Shakespeare...
... Winston Churchill, and Austin Powers.
My sister Chloe had just won California.
Now she wanted to win the world.
Me, I had a slightly different agenda.
You guys, this place is beautiful.
Check it out.
Aliens from planet prep school.
I thought they only cloned sheep
in England.
Let's check in.
Will you take it for me? Thanks, man.
How are you doing?
Lakeview High Cardinals checking in.
What's up?
Where are you ladies from?
Tokyo. Maybe you and I can get
some sushi later.
All right. Konichiwa to you too, baby.
- I think she digs me.
- Go for it, big guy.
I've got a foot on it.
Thank you.
You might want to check your shoes
next time before you leave the loo.
Loo who?
The W. C? The loo? The toilet?
But this, it wasn't mine.
- It was this other guy's.
- Right.
Right, I think I'll just make a quick exit.
- What's your name?
- What?
- Our name?
- Chloe.
Chloe, I'm James.
See you.
Please tell me he didn't just see that.
Define ''see.''
It's charming.
It's quaint.
Guys, reality check. It's a closet.
Good morning, everyone.
Let me guess. It's Portugal, right?
- Brazil.
- Right.
I love those little nuts you guys make.
What country are you guys representing?
There must be a mistake. We're China.
I don't think so.
I must apologize.
This has ever happened before.
There's obviously been a database error.
Two schools can't represent
the same country.
The question is,
what are we going to do about it?
Okay. I've got one.
Being that this is Model U. N...
...why don't we let the diplomats
work it out?
Teams, think of this
as your first assignment.
Fine. We'll discuss it in our room.
Good, because there's no room
to negotiate in ours.
- Creative problem solving, Mr. Holmes.
- Elementary, Ms. Watson.
How did you guys get these rooms?
My father owns several hotels
He arranged our accommodations.
- Man, you guys are rich.
- Dylan!
What did I say? What?
Not to be a pessimist,
but assuming that negotiations aren't...
...going well with the kids upstairs.
I was wondering what countries
are available?
Maybe a country with a football team.
The greatness of a country
is measured by the character...
...of its people, not by the strength
of its football team.
It doesn't have to be a good team.
I couldn't help but notice
that England's not on the list.
No, in international competition
we try not to assign the host country.
But it is available.
We have a proposal to put on the table.
- We do?
- Es.
We'll give you China.
- We will?
- Lf...
So they got China, and you got their room.
- Not to mention room service.
- And the key to the mini-fridge.
- And DSL.
- Crank it.
- Speed is going to be very crucial.
- Lf we lose, we go down in style.
- Is room service all you guys care about?
- No.
We also like those mints
that they leave for us on our pillows.
Those things are so good.
Come on, Chloe, lighten up.
Riley got us a pretty good deal.
I knew your attitude
was gonna sink this team.
Youre the only one with attitude.
We're not actually saving the world, Chloe.
- It's supposed to be fun.
- Cat fight.
Dylan, stop. Girls, cut it out.
I was hoping that I'd get
some good cat fight footage in there!
Guys, come here. Bring it in.
I've got good news.
Youre gonna love this. Check this out.
I got you the United Kingdom. England.
Guys, it was either that,
or the Republic of Chad.
- Population?
- Fifty-nine million.
Form of government?
Constitutional Monarchy. Political Parties?
- Conservative.
- Labor.
Liberal Democrat.
Is there any other kind?
Legislative branch?
House of Commons, elected.
House of Lords...
...born lucky or a really good actor.
Chief of State?
Queen Elizabeth. Official title?
Her Royal Highness.
Short for: Elizabeth II,
by grace of God of the United Kingdom...
...Great Britain, Northern Ireland
and her other realms.
Queen, Head of Commonwealth,
Defender of the Faith.
Whatever. Prime Minister?
Appointed, not directly elected.
Henry Vlll?
1509 to 1547. Magna Carta?
1215. Norman Invasion?
1066. House of Stewart.
James I, Charles I, Charles II, James II.
Number of kings named George?
Six. Number of Internet service providers?
Dude, how would I know?
364. Legal systems?
I have to get out of this room.
Model student goes psycho
at U.N. Competition. Story at 11:00.
Sorry, Riles, but this is crunch time.
Other teams have had weeks to prepare.
Chloe, I got to agree with Riles.
My brain cannot absorb anymore.
I know, my whole brain is kind of full.
I highly doubt that.
Guys, all I'm saying is, we're England,
we're studying England.
We're in England.
So all we need to know is right out there.
Calling our name.
Let's go, let's go. That's our bus.
- I have the same earrings.
- Except smaller.
And faker.
This is the very spot where Henry Vlll
had two of his wives beheaded.
Right. The fat dude who invented divorce.
Excuse me.
Did one of you guys see my head?
- Dylan.
- Have you seen my head?
- Youre such a dork.
- No, I've got it.
- No. Really, you are.
- I found it.
Cool. The dungeon.
Nice rack.
Star football player a little too desperate
to be a few inches taller.
He's 5'6'', he's 5'7'', my goodness, he's 5'8''.
- The pain!
- Man, check this out.
You ready?
It's kind of cozy in here.
See this?
This is where they busted his eyes
out of his face!
And this here...
...that's where the blood dripped down.
- I heard about this one guy.
First, they hung him...
...then they beheaded him,
then put his head... the tower bridge where it was eaten... maggots.
- Gross.
- Later, Brian.
- Later, dude.
What do you mean, ''Later, dude''?
Where are you going, guys?
I'll give you... I've got chocolate.
Guys? Anyone here?
Hello? You know,
it's not cool to look at other girls...
...when someone is talking to you.
We weren't talking. We were drinking.
- She's not your type, anyway.
- She's not?
No. She's not sensitive or funny or pretty.
Maybe with the right lighting
and some heavy foundation...
...but I bet she doesn't like sports.
My gosh, I so could not get into a girl
who doesn't like sports.
Remember that time when our dads
took us to the Dodger game?
- I was 10 and you were 12.
- And you ate three hot dogs...
...and blew chunks all over that guy
in front of us. Remember?
- No, it was probably Chloe.
- No, it was you. I'm sure of it.
I totally remember.
And that's how I'll always think of you...
...tossing your cookies
on that French guy. Classic!
Great. I think we've all had enough history
for today.
Riles. Come on, it was funny.
It was funny.
You had him alone sharing a straw.
You should've made a move.
He remembers me
as the girl who barfed at the Dodger game.
- Look, Riley. Are you here to play?
- No.
I'm here to win.
Good. Then quit acting like his little sister
and go for it.
Westminster Abbey.
This famous church is the burial place
for most of England's monarchs...
Every king and queen has been crowned
here since the year 1066.
Look at all the famous people buried here.
How do you score some plottage
in a place like this anyway?
You achieve greatness and die.
So you can pretty much forget about it.
Well, aren't we Miss Westminster Crabby.
- Right. Where to, loves?
- Buckingham Palace, please.
- And step on it.
- Right.
Anywhere there's a restroom.
Here, just don't jimmy-riddle
in the back of me jam jar.
I wish I could speak Cockney.
That's Clarence House over there.
That's where the dear old
Queen Mum lives. God bless her.
Poor old royal family.
They've had their troubles in the past.
I love the old Queen Mum
just as much as I love me old Mum.
I'll tell you something else.
I love me Mum
as much as if she was the Queen herself.
All right, next stop Buckingham Palace.
These four, young, intelligent individuals
are going to attempt the impossible...
They say it can never be done.
They say it never will be done
but we are here to prove them wrong.
We're here to make
the Queen's Guard laugh.
Riley, take it away.
What do you call a piece of wood
with nothing to do? Bored.
I thought he could relate.
What do you get
hanging from mango trees?
Sore arms.
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, ''Why the long face? ''
How do you get a tissue to dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
What kind of animal
do you never play cards with?
A cheetah.
- I took my wife to the Caribbean.
- Jamaica.
No. She wanted to go.
- What's the capital of Alaska?
- Juneau?
No, I'm asking you.
Why did the coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
If you throw a cat out the car window,
what do you get?
Kitty litter.
What do Winnie the Pooh
and Jack the Ripper have in common?
- What?
- Same middle name.
Not bad, young lady.
What did you say?
I told him to keep his mince pies
on the frog and toad.
Right. Thanks for clarifying.
... against the Maastricht Treaty...
... seeks to transfer powers
of our Parliament.
Only the people can decide that issue.
Look at that.
No one is given a mandate
by the British people.
To sell their heritage.
If noble lords can explain clearly,
the people can understand clearly.
So let's improve the explanation.
How do you expect to come out
on top with such half-baked ideas?
I mean your resolution hasn't
got a chance of passing.
I'll ask Peterson to look over it.
He'll come up with suggestions.
My faculty advisor thought it was good.
Our faculty advisor
never sat in Parliament, did he?
James, you've got a marvelous opportunity
here to make a mark.
If you're serious about the debate team
at Oxford...
...then winning this conference
will really open doors for you.
Prince Charming at 10:00.
It's settled then.
I'll tell Peterson to expect you at 7:00.
That's him? He's such a fox!
- Go.
- I'm not going there.
What are you doing here?
Why aren't you somewhere
prepping for tomorrow?
This is preparation. We're England.
What about you. What are you doing here?
Family business.
Our family's in the Parliament business?
My father's a Lord. Unfortunately.
Doesn't sound too unfortunate.
Well, it's difficult to explain to...
- What, a commoner?
- No, I...
Is this one of those
''quit while you are ahead'' things?
No more like
''quit while you're behind'' things.
I'd better go. We have a lot to see today.
- Need a tour guide?
- Es!
- The Globe Theatre?
- Where Shakespeare put on all his plays.
- Nothing more English than Shakespeare.
- What about the muffins?
- The English ones?
- Eah?
- The English muffins.
- What about them?
''Romeo, Romeo,
wherefore art thou Romeo? ''
''A rose by any other name
would smell as sweet.''
Sorry, no women allowed.
Actors were men in Shakespeare's time.
Obviously you didn't see
Shakespeare in Love.
After you, my lady.
''But soft, what light
through yonder window breaks?
''It is the east, and Juliet...
''... is the sun.''
He is so cute.
En garde!
- Thou likest the Lakers?
- King Shaq of O'Neal doth ruleth the lane.
- Brian, stab her.
- No, take him down, Riles.
''Deny thy father and refuse thy name...
be but sworn my love.''
Just stab her.
What does thou thinkest
of the Dodgers this fortnight?
- Me thinketh they sucketh.
- Forsureth.
- Take her down James!
- Chloe!
Eah, Chloe!
Thank you, thank you.
- Tea time.
- Thanks dude. Dude, Lord, whatever.
Here you go.
Do you want to see my favorite spot
in London?
- Sure.
- Good. Follow me.
It's just around the corner, not too far.
- Peter Pan?
- Do you know the story?
I confess.
I own the movie, read the book...
...and saw the play. Twice.
I come here sometimes, to think.
Peter Pan,
the boy who didn't want to grow up.
Don't you want to grow up,
Lord Browning?
Do I have the choice, Lady Lawrence?
You could fly off to Never Neverland.
Would you go with me?
Only if I didn't have to be Wendy.
I don't clean up after Lost Boys.
- Stop that, you did that on purpose.
- I did not, you just can't steer.
- Give me that.
- No.
Stay away from my boat.
Go, birdies, go. Fly, birdies, fly.
Perfect. Bring them over here.
Perfect. Beautiful shot.
This very odd American bird
makes its way across the Atlantic about...
...once in a lifetime for this...
...unusual mating dance.
Okay, cut.
Thanks for the tour.
I like to get to know my adversaries.
Good luck tomorrow.
- May the best team win.
- We will.
Stay focused. Just knock them dead.
Go get them.
Ladies and Gentlemen...
... welcome to day one of
the International Model...
... United Nations Competition.
Over the next four days you will step into
the shoes of United Nations ambassadors...
... debating current issues
and resolving problems that affect...
... every country on earth.
Your team will be awarded points
in performance on speeches and debates...
... on decorum,
and in how well you represent...
... the point of view of the
country you've been assigned.
Life often throws you curve balls.
And so will we.
As in the real world,
you'll need to be prepared...
... for just about anything.
Each team was asked to come with
a proposal addressing world hunger.
Your objective today...
... is to get your proposal passed
by securing as many votes...
... from your fellow nations as possible.
This is a test of your ability
to convince people of your ideas.
Good luck.
Ireland, greatly concerned
about world hunger...
... proposes increased funding
for genetically engineered food.
War is by far the greatest cause
of world hunger.
Morocco proposes more resources
to peacekeeping and conflict resolution.
The U.K. Proposes providing farmers
with better technology worldwide...
... giving people the tools
to solve their own problems.
India believes...
... the key to solving world hunger
lies beneath the sea.
Marine biology has the potential
to feed unlimited people.
The People's Republic of China
proposes the problem is not too little food.
It's too many people.
Population control is the answer.
Delegates, let's get to work.
Guys, whatever it takes. This is war.
I thought this was the United Nations.
And the provisions of our proposal
would help people help themselves.
Can I count on your vote?
- Eah, sure.
- Good.
My country never votes with yours.
My sponsor is a health nut.
No junk food in our room.
I think we can deal.
All I'm saying is there are
some killer fashion and hair tips in here.
Not that you guys need them.
I just thought that
maybe you'd like to have a look.
Released in the States.
Won't be distributed worldwide for...
...three months.
I'll tell you what.
Our votes on our proposal...
...buys you five hours of free play.
One Kobe Bryant jersey.
All right. One Kobe and one Shaq.
All right.
Delegates, time's up. Please be seated.
- Can I count on your vote?
- Lf you dance with me at tonight's party.
My sister would love to.
Congratulations, delegates.
Your proposals were all very strong.
And now for today's results.
The team who passed their resolution
with the most votes is...
... the United Kingdom.
Followed by Ireland and China
in second and third place.
Give yourselves a round of applause.
Congratulations, delegates.
Now we know how the game is played.
- Hi.
- Two Cokes please.
Congratulations, girls, and guy.
I didn't realize we were dealing
with such formidable opponents.
Nice outfit.
I thought you might show in your armor.
Why? Will I need it?
Trading votes for junk food
and fashion magazines...
...we've a word for that here...
Excuse me.
Apparently, we didn't make
very many friends today.
No, apparently you didn't.
So we're gonna make some alliances.
Let's make one of our own,
on the dance floor.
- Be right back.
- Okay.
- Hey, Brian.
- Hey.
Nice club, huh?
Do you want to dance?
Unless I have a football and five guys
chasing me, I don't...
...move so well.
Then pretend you're being chased. By me.
Let's do it. Just loosen up.
James, you should know something
about me.
- What?
- I play to win.
As do I. We just choose to play differently.
Okay your turn, you try it.
Rach, why don't you give me the...
...ladies' point of view
on being a third wheel.
- Dylan, go away.
- No. Come on.
Tell me how it feels to be over here
when everyone...
I'm serious. Please just leave me alone.
Come on, Rach...
...Im playing around.
Sometimes, I just get tired.
I know. Me too.
I'm just trying to be empathetic.
From one third wheel to another... you want to dance?
Let's roll.
- Mr. Holmes.
- Ms. Watson.
It seems, excuse the expression... kids kicked a little booty today.
They seem to be coming up to speed
quite nicely.
Something I should mention, Mr. Holmes.
The judges award points
on the integrity of the team members... well as their ability to,
how do you call it, ''kick booty.''
Something you might want to mention
to your delegates.
Point taken.
- Should we?
- Sure.
You, want a soda or something?
Do you want me to teach
you how to slow dance?
Excuse me, your sister says
this dance belongs to me.
All right, that's cool.
Hard to explain, but I just screwed up
a major moment for my sister.
I'm going to have to
make this up to her somehow.
Well is there anything I can do to help?
- Haven't we seen enough museums?
- Es.
- Enough monuments?
- Es.
- Enough...
- Yes!
- Well then, what are we doing?
- Shopping.
Shopping? And not just shopping... in style.
Looks like Chloe snagged herself
a Prince Charming.
Chloe wins again.
She always gets what she wants.
What about you,
you don't get what you want?
It just seems like whatever I want is just...
...out of my reach.
By about 2 or 3 inches.
- So your sister's got it bad for Brian then?
- Is it that obvious?
The drooling thing's kind of a giveaway.
So what about you two?
Do you get along?
As long as we're not in the same room.
We're very different.
She likes to have fun
and hang out with boys.
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
We'd better get back.
The delegates' reception
is at our house today.
Father'll grill me about where I've been.
Es, father?
Where have you been gallivanting off
this morning?
The conference delegations
will be here in an hour.
I was showing some friends around.
A girl?
Es, from the American team.
James, really...'s always a mistake to
get involved with a...
- Father, please.
- Especially when you're from such...
...different backgrounds.
You understand what I am saying?
First shopping, now a tea party.
This is so ruining my image.
James lives in a national monument?
Rach, this is his house.
Man, dude's got some serious coinage!
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Sponsors and delegates.
Welcome to Browning Manor.
It is our pleasure to host this reception...
...on behalf of the International Model.
United Nations Competition.
And if you'd care to join us
on the polo field, then we can begin...
...with the afternoon's entertainment.
Please follow me, this way.
Lord Brian, please follow me
this way to the polo grounds... we make our way past
the tea and crumpets.
All right team. Team, cut it.
Let's bring it in. Dylan, let's go.
Lord Browning's been nice enough
to host this reception for us.
- I feel a ''but'' coming.
- Dylan!
You said you felt a ''butt'' coming.
I didn't want to disappoint you.
Dylan, wrap it up, right here.
Guys this is not just a reception.
This is part of the game.
We have judges deducting points
if they don't like what they see.
Wherever you go, whatever you do,
act like ladies and gentlemen.
Can you do that? Bring it in.
Excuse me.
- That's disgusting.
- Excuse me. What? I said excuse me.
I said it.
Dylan, you and I need to have a talk.
Are you having trouble listening?
Hope you enjoy it, anyway.
Good to see you.
The manor was built around
the 16th century by William Browning... great, great, great grandfather.
- We appreciate your hospitality.
- Quite sure. Hope you enjoy it.
Our house is bigger
than my whole school.
That's actually just the stable.
So have you ever been to a polo match?
No, but my dad wears the shirts.
Es, so does mine.
It's really good fun.
I love it. It's just up here to the left.
So this is how the other half lives.
You mean how the other one-tenth
of one percent lives.
Looks good.
Brian, what are you doing?
What do you mean?
Coach said we're supposed
to keep our pinkies up when drinking tea.
Other pinky.
The football team
cannot find out about this.
Guys, you'd think that...
...with a place like this they'd be able
to afford normal-size sandwiches.
They're called tea sandwiches.
More like teeny-weenie sandwiches.
Guys, remember what coach said, okay?
We're being judged on our demeanor.
What? Youre saying I don't have class?
Let's go watch a polo game.
We're live on the polo network,
all polo, all the time.
James running down the field.
That boy's got game.
James has the ball.
This kid can sure "polo-ize"?
Can't he, Chuck? He sure can.
He's got nothing to "a-polo-gize" for.
Three's got the ball, he takes it away.
He's got a breakaway.
He's dribbling down field.
He shoots. He shoots.
He scores!
We'll be right back
after these few messages.
What did you think?
Nice moves, but why did you back off?
You had him.
You can ride a player off,
but you can't charge.
It's against the rules.
Polo is a game of rules, not loopholes.
Do I hear the cry of yesterday's sore loser?
I'm just saying,
unlike most of your American pastimes...
...Polo is a finesse sport.
No, football, baseball,
basketball, those are sports.
This is just croquet on horses.
Well, then. Youre so sure of yourself...
...would you like to give it a go?
Is this one of those play-to-win things?
I thought so.
Ball is again in play.
Now on the field is Chloe Lawrence,
polo's rookie of the year.
She's got a shot at it. She winds up.
She really winds up.
She lets loose.
That's not good!
Hello, can I have my mallet back, please?
Flying mallets.
That ought to play well with the judges.
- We finished then?
- Finished?
That was just a warm up.
James has a breakaway,
he's certain to score.
But wait, here comes Chloe
out of nowhere.
She steals the ball.
Stolen by Chloe. That was amazing!
She's got a breakaway.
Chloe's got the ball...
...Chloe drives, Chloe shoots...
...she scores!
This is the best polo match I've ever seen.
This is the only polo match
I've really ever seen.
Nothing but croquet on horses.
Americans rule!
Piece of cake!
How long you guys been
playing this game anyway?
So much for decorum.
And I was worried about my pinkies.
Sorry, James, but I play to win.
Chloe, sometimes you win one thing,
and you lose another.
But James, I thought...
It was just a game!
Delegates, welcome to Day 3
of the conference.
Previously we learned
about persuasive presentation of ideas...
... and that creativity
can sometimes make all the difference.
Today we will be discussing
crisis negotiations.
Everybody freeze!
My, I see we have some visitors.
You come with me!
- Take me!
- Okay.
Let's go.
That was awesome.
You have just witnessed
a mock political kidnapping.
You will be contacted shortly
with demands and instructions.
Your objective is to negotiate
the peaceful return of the hostages.
Good luck, delegates.
Check it out, video games.
Hold it right there.
What exactly are we supposed to do here?
That will depend on how well
your negotiations go.
Welcome to U.N. Hostage headquarters.
Everything that you need to know
is in the script.
I would give them at least 10 minutes
before the first call...
Mr. Holmes will be seated outside.
If you have any questions,
he's guarding the door.
Have a good time.
Thank you.
Mr. Holmes.
Ms. Watson.
I'll be Hostage Number 2.
That's funny, I always thought
you had to be number one.
Ladies and gentlemen!
Ladies and gentlemen.
I believe we have our first contact.
You're on the speaker, go ahead please.
Hello everyone.
Conditions are substandard...
... but we're hanging in there.
Our captors will not release us...
... until the United Nations
convinces its members...
... to destroy all nuclear weapons.
We'll contact you again in half an hour.
We could send in a SWAT team.
I could practice up on my tae kwon do.
This isn't some Bruce Willis action film.
We're peacemakers not warmongers.
She's right. We're Brits.
That's right, and what would the British do
in this situation?
- Send in their best.
- You mean like...
James Bond.
- What are we doing here?
- I have an idea. Room service.
Nice. I am so hungry.
Not for you, for them.
Anything out of the ordinary
in room service orders?
There's a pan of treacle pudding
in Room 1114.
Treacle pudding?
Then there's the three pizzas for Room 872.
Pizzas? Thank you.
You by chance wouldn't...
...happen to have
some extra hamburgers lying around?
All right, brilliant, cheers.
James, can we talk about yesterday?
What's there to talk about?
I know I get carried away sometimes.
It's not what you did Chloe,
it's the way you did it.
Whatever happened to the notion of
''it's how you play the game? ''
I don't know. Hopscotch happened...
...spelling bees, soccer games,
and field hockey.
People always say it's not about winning.
It's about doing your best.
Then your team loses
and you see it on their faces.
Our coach, your parents,
they're disappointed.
They wanted to win
and you disappointed them.
After a while you get sick
of looking at those faces.
So you make yourself win,
and you win again...
...and suddenly the rush of winning...
...becomes the most important thing.
And you forget why you even liked playing
in the first place.
Holmes must be the lookout.
Now what are we going to do?
- Let's take him out.
- With cleaning products?
How about we knock on the door...
...and when they come out,
we jump out and yell ''gotcha! ''
- The door's guarded.
- By a middle-aged history teacher.
- He could still be armed.
- With what, a water pistol?
- This isn't real it's a game.
- I know but I'm so into this, though.
I know but he's so cute.
I have an idea.
We can't negotiate with terrorists.
It sets bad precedent.
- Their demands are unreasonable.
- Are they?
What is so wrong with a world
without weapons of mass destruction?
Seriously, who really needs
nuclear weapons anyway?
We do.
- We do.
- Us too.
Nice try.
This way.
We just have to climb right through there.
Are you sure this is safe?
But that is half the fun of it, kiddo.
...the name's Riley...
...not kiddo.
What just happened there?
We just kissed in an air duct.
That's what I thought.
- I think that we should...
- Yes.
Bond doesn't get the girl
until the end of the movie.
Any pizza left?
- I have to go to the loo.
- Sure, fine.
There's more pizza under here.
- What are you guys doing here?
- Rescuing you. Come on.
I have to go to the loo, too.
I thought girls going to the loo in pairs
was a British thing.
I'm afraid that is an international thing.
This is great.
This is good.
Can I eat the whole thing?
You guys want...
- I think it's this way.
- No, it's this way.
I found a shortcut!
What's a girl to do?
Are you okay?
Madam Secretary General...
...the U.K. Has rescued your diplomats
and returned them safe and sound.
Right, I've been doing this
for 10 years now.
I don't think we've ever had a team
stage a rescue of any sort.
It's not fair.
We were supposed to work it out on paper.
No, I said you had to work it out.
I didn't say it necessarily
had to be on paper.
Look, talk is fine,
but when negotiations flounder...
...sometimes you have to take action.
- Britain does not negotiate with terrorists.
- So, that was exciting.
- You have no idea.
What exactly happened with you
in that air duct, anyway?
- I don't kiss and tell.
- You kissed!
- Riles, that is so awesome.
- It's so about time.
What about you?
Did you patch things up with James?
I think so, not that it matters.
He can't see me tonight.
He's having dinner
with his father at a men's club.
- But it's our last night.
- Tell me about it.
What happened to Chloe Lawrence,
the girl who makes it all happen.
She got knocked off her high horse
in a polo match.
Well get back on that horse, girl.
The judge has put a lot of weight
on a strong finish.
I presume that you are taking
the oral essay question.
You need impress the judges.
Give them something to hang their hat on.
I'll give it my best.
Let's just hope it's good enough.
For who, the judges or you?
I don't mean to be harsh on you, James...
...but you are in a privileged position.
Takes a special man
to walk through those doors.
Youre not on your way
to buy lip gloss at the mall.
Quit walking like a girl.
- Well then how am I supposed to walk?
- Like this.
Excuse me, is the...
...clubroom up that way?
Es, very well.
Father, your glasses are absolutely filthy.
I'll clean them for you.
Release the hounds.
- What?
- I see a fox.
These are my schoolmates from Eton.
- I'm Justin.
- And I'm Chester.
From Eton? I must know your parents.
- Voldemort.
- Voldemort?
Sounds familiar.
Es, well, anyway, Father,
if we're finished, I think...
I think I'll join my pals...
...for dessert.
- Wouldn't you boys like to join us for...
- No!
Thank you.
We're going to meet some friends.
I won't be out late.
- James.
- Es?
My glasses.
What's the hurry, lads?
If I get caught for this,
I'm going to blame you and you.
Get in quick.
Thanks for rescuing me tonight.
- I don't get to do this kind of thing often.
- Do what?
Hang out with friends.
Father is always pushing me
to do something or be someone.
You already are someone.
I mean, our parents got to be kids.
Now it's our turn.
I agree. It's definitely our turn.
Although, growing up
definitely has its advantages.
See, over there?
- That's where they flew.
- Who?
- Wendy and Peter.
- Oh, yeah.
Second star to the right
and then straight on to morning.
Youve liked me for years?
Am I the lamest or what?
We should make up for lost time.
Hold on.
Get a life.
I told you.
- Where were we?
- Right about here.
- She told me to get a life.
- Well, she's right.
I guess we're not third wheels any more.
I guess not.
Any chance I can get some of this on tape?
Just asking.
Youre ridiculous.
- I know about you and the girl.
- What of it?
I hope you're not losing sight
of what's important.
She's what's important.
Do you think she's staying up at night
writing soppy love notes?
No, she's got her eye on the gold.
Can't you see, she's getting in your way?
Good night, Father.
Chloe Lawrence?
- Es.
- For you ma'am.
Thank you.
James got in a fight with his father.
He wants me to meet him.
You can't go now.
What if you don't make it back in time?
You guys can manage without me.
Hello? There's a trophy calling your name
in the next room.
And for the first time, Riles...
...I just don't hear it.
- Where's Chloe?
- She has a stomachache.
- What?
- A fever.
She thinks she has the flu.
- Great.
- Well, that's great.
Okay, you know what? It's up to you four.
Youve got to step up to the plate,
right here.
Bring it in.
- ''Game on'' on three. One, two, three.
- Game on!
You don't think anything happened to him?
Youre right. He's fine.
- Did you get everything?
- Es.
Well, they're about to start, James.
Remember, strong finish.
Hold on.
- What are you doing here?
- What do you mean?
- Where's Chloe?
- Like you don't know.
Where is she?
You tell me.
Youre the one who sent her the note.
What note?
It was on your stationery.
He wouldn't stand me up, I know it.
You didn't believe that I could win it
on my own?
So you sent her off
on some wild goose chase.
Youll thank me for this someday.
If you don't tell me where she is...
...Im marching up to that podium,
and disqualifying myself and my team.
He's not coming, is he?
Delegates, we have arrived
at the final day of competition...
... which will be divided into two parts:
First, the question and answer session...
... to test your knowledge
of your assigned country.
Second, the oral essay...
... where one member of the delegation
will represent your team.
United Kingdom.
Are you ready to proceed
with the final round Q and A?
I know you can't talk, but...
...was a pretty blonde girl waiting here?
Thank you.
One of the world's largest trading powers.
That was a historic peace agreement
with Ireland in 1998.
Prime Minister is appointed.
No, the Queen is politically neutral.
That would be Queen Victoria in 1887.
The economy's among the four largest
in Western Europe.
The dominant industrial
and maritime power of the 19th century.
That would be Queen Elizabeth I in 1603.
That would be Henry Vlll, ''I am, I am.''
Come on. We're late.
Non of us have ever given
the oral essay before.
We're doomed.
Okay guys, fourth and goal.
The game's on the line.
- Riley, you take the ball.
- I'm in.
Next up, United Kingdom.
Good luck, Riles.
It's her turn.
Miss Lawrence. Your question.
Is there a place for the British monarchy
in the 21st century?
The royals are in big trouble
with their subjects.
Talk to the cabbie down at Trafalgar or...
... the shopkeeper in Soho,
and they'll tell you.
The royal family is too stuffy...
... out of touch, aloof.
Too removed from ordinary people
and their ordinary problems.
There's a growing movement
in this country to make the royals...
... less royal.
Because the downside to having
kings and queens and lords and ladies...
... is believing that birthright
makes you better than everyone else.
It doesn't.
So, should we dump the royal family?
Talk to that same cabbie
or shopkeeper, and chances are...
... they'll bite your head off
for even suggesting it.
Being part of a country
is like being part of a family.
Just because we complain doesn't mean
they don't have a place in our hearts.
The Queen still represents Britain
in a uniquely British way.
And I, for one,
would feel a little lost without her.
Thank you.
We've finally come to the end
of our competition and our conference.
It's been quite a wild ride,
to say the very least.
But that is the road of diplomacy,
as you've seen firsthand...
There are no easy answers
to the world's problems.
Creative solutions and creative people
make the world go round.
And that leads me to my first award.
The Crystal Dove.
In Model U.N. Speak,
it's the most valuable player.
From the beginning
she has gotten results...
... she has demonstrated ingenuity
and integrity.
For these reasons and many more...
... the Crystal Dove
goes to Miss Riley Lawrence.
Thank you.
I've never won anything in my life.
Well done.
Now for the moment
you've all been waiting for.
It is my honor and great pleasure
to announce the winner...
... of our competition
and the first place trophy.
First place with 347 points goes to...
... United Kingdom!
In second place, Ireland.
Third place, China.
Congratulations everyone.
Congratulations. You played a good game.
I think I owe you an apology.
And I was thinking I owed you one myself,
Lord Browning.
Can we say we've leveled the polo field?
I hope to see you at the manor very soon.
- You were amazing.
- What?
Awesome, incredible, spectacular!
Proper preparation prevents
poor performance. The five P's.
Okay, this is serious.
Let's go, I'm back. I'm back.
This isn't some Bruce Willis action film.
What's invisible and smells
like a little bitty worm?
James I.
Come on, Chloe, lighten up. Riley did...
Lighten up...
191... Sorry, I was off!
Wow, look at all the famous dead people.
Her Royal...
That's how I'll always think of you...
I so could not get into a girl
who didn't do sports. That wasn't the line.
Jesse, Jesse, Jesse, just...
Jesse is quite a player.
Jesse is quite the polo player.
James is quite the polo...
To Jesse. Boy, guys. Jesse...
James, looking great out there.
What's invisible and smells like a worm?
What do you get...
What happens when you hang
from a mango tree?
What's the similar...
We can't negotiate with terrorists. It's...
It's definitely our turn.
Let's take them out.
Talk to the cabbie down Trafalgar or the...
... newscaster.
Lets take them out.
He can't see me tonight.
He has to go to father with his dinner.
Was there a pretty blonde...
Was there a pretty blonde girl
waiting here?
Sorry, I completely missed that.
What does thou think
of the Dodgers this fortnight?
Me thinketh...
Is the clubroom up this way?
You kill me, man, you kill me.
---the end---