800 Words (2015) Episode Scripts

N/A - Season 2, Episode 6

1 SONG: And this is inside out I want the best But our love is lost And this is inside out I want you here WOODY: No.
HANNAH: Yeah.
No, I hear you, but nuh.
Hey.
Oi.
Hey.
How's it looking? Sweet.
Lousy.
I'm telling you, I'm not seeing it.
And I'm telling you it's happened.
No, it's close but it's not here yet.
No, today's the day.
The day for what? Nothing.
She's she's dreaming, mate.
You wouldn't understand 'cause you're not a local.
Well, I think I am.
No, you're not.
Not yet.
You see, George, once a year there's a day, which is not today Yes, it is.
.
.
when the ownership of the waves passes from the locals to the summer people.
OK, no-one owns the waves.
OK.
If you want to get all airy-fairy hippie on it.
They turn up with their boogie boards and their jet skis and the planks they call longboards, and they don't understand the rules and it turns to mayhem.
Mayhem? Yep.
Yeah, if you're a local, you don't surf after that day.
Not until all the summer people are gone.
It doesn't look any different to me.
'Cause you're not a local.
Or you're wrong and today's not the day.
I'm not wrong.
And I'm going for a surf, 'cause apparently I'm not a local.
Yeah, yeah, and I'm with you, mate.
Actually, I need a quick word.
Don't say you weren't warned! Life turns on moments.
GEORGE THINKS: Moments we cannot foresee.
They roll up on us like a wave so we cannot plan for them.
Which means we just have to deal with the aftermath.
There's nothing different about today.
Yeah, no, that's just Hannah.
She's a pessimist who hates all the summer people, even the ones she's hooked up with.
Some summer people are actually pretty good.
And some are so good, you actually forget they're summer people.
Well, is it a problem they're summer people? Well, no, it's just weird, you know? Not really.
Well, it's like how you know when you're in bed with someone and they're talking about how much they really like farmers' markets, right? And you're like, yeah, not so much, because most of the people that sell you stuff at farmers' markets, they're not actually farmers, George.
They're just people selling you stuff that a farmer would sell you if they weren't busy farming.
And when they don't get that, you realise you know someone who would get that and it's not them.
Yeah, well, I guess that depends how important farmers' markets are to you in the bigger picture.
Yeah, well, not at all.
But it does get you thinking about the bigger picture.
Yeah, clearly.
Yeah, no, but it isn't clear, George.
It isn't.
Because that's what the law of the summer people does to a man - messes with his thinkingby being all fresh and shiny and new.
Oh, mine.
Hey, hey, locals first! George, locals first! Whoa! Hey! GEORGE THINKS: Of course, one man's moment usually means someone else has missed out.
And the thing about a moment missed is that you can never get it back.
Woody! Woody! Woody.
(THEME MUSIC) FIONA: George! Right, three, two, one and lift.
(GROANING) OK, no hurry.
The last thing we want to do is drop him.
Oh, don't drop me.
We won't drop you.
Nobody likes being dropped, eh? We won't drop you, Woody.
Hey, I'll get that thing done for you tomorrow.
Don't worry about it, Woody.
(SINGS) Take my hand and I'll lead you back Woody! (WOODY HUMS) What happened? Woody's taken a bit of a blow to his head.
Have I? Yes, Woody.
Hey, you are such a nice shiny person.
(CHUCKLES) You are too.
Just lie still, OK Jet skis really hurt when you hit them with your head, eh? Mmm.
Smug, rich morons and their evil machines.
We're taking him through to Stafford Hospital.
I'm coming with you.
Yep, climb on in.
GEORGE THINKS: You can't pick the moments that change your life.
It doesn't work that way.
(SIREN WAILS) No, they pick you, and you hang on hoping for the best.
This idiot on a jet ski came out of nowhere.
I mean, what the hell are they doing in the same water where people are surfing? II don't know.
Yeah, course you don't.
Sorry.
Why? Why what? Say you're sorry.
You're turning into a New Zealander.
They say sorry all the time.
But if you're angry about the jet ski people, that is nothing to be sorry about.
Write about it.
Yeah yeah, I should.
But right now I've got to get to Stafford.
He'll be OK.
Do you think? Yeah, Woody kinda strikes me as someone who would be hard to kill.
Gloria, I'm not exactly sure what the protocol is here, but can we, you know, stop the presses? Already stopped.
Really? Well, in the light of today's events, I thought we might want to switch out the headline.
Yeah.
Yeah, probably for the best.
We can wait.
See how it turns out.
Good.
Thanks.
I do want to write about it, though.
Oh, of course.
You should.
Something along the lines of 'jet skis are evil and should be banned'.
That's a pretty strong editorial position, George.
Well, I feel pretty strongly about it.
I'm off to Stafford now.
I'll write it there, if I can.
Of you could get it out of your system now.
No, I want to get to the hospital.
OK, I know.
Give me your phone.
Why? Just give me your phone, George.
Phone, phone.
Here.
One of the things I've been meaning to tell you is that you have a Twitter account.
I do? Yeah, in your official role as editor of the 'News of the Weld'.
You have followers and everything.
But I've never tweeted in my life.
Yeah, well, I've been taking care of the actual tweeting for you.
But don't worry.
Everything has been fairly innocuous up until now.
Is this the kind of thing you wanted to say? I keep your spelling and grammar fairly old-school because, well you are.
That is what I want to say.
Then tweet away.
Oh, you just touch the word 'tweet'.
Well, yeah, I know that much.
Welcome to the information age, George.
Send me a long-winded editorial version when you're ready, OK? (PHONES RING) Oh! That'll be the word spreading.
Big Mac? Any word yet? No.
I'm on my way to the hospital now.
OK.
Keep us posted, eh? Will do.
And hold off on the witch-hunt until we have all the details, will you? Sorry.
The what? One incident is hardly cause for a ban.
And I'm not just saying that as the owner of a small jet ski hire company.
(PHONE DINGS AND BUZZES) Sorry.
Did you read the tweet? Yeah, and I realise everyone's emotional right now, but throwing around words like 'ban', well, it's just not helpful, is it? Well, maybe you should tweet that, Big Mac.
Well, somebody will, George.
I have to go now.
Our thoughts are with Woody.
I tweeted him what's what, Dad.
Yeah.
Hello.
OK, I get that news travels fast in Weld, but in this case I think you've really jumped the gun.
Which gun's this? Woody.
Last I heard he was very much alive.
I'm here to place an ad for my pickles.
I sell them at the farmers' market.
Oh, right.
Gloria can help you with that.
Well, I hope Woody's OK.
I'll pass that on.
(PHONE DINGS, ENGINE STARTS) (PHONE DINGS) (TYRES SCREECH) Ooh! Sorry! Sorry.
Jesus, George, watch where you're going.
Yeah, I know.
Are you alright? Yeah, I was until you scared the living daylights out of me.
You haven't heard? Heard what? About Woody.
What happened? He got hit by a jet ski.
He's on his way to hospital.
That's where I'm going now.
Go.
Go! Every summer I say it.
Nobody listens to me.
Say what? Jet skis surfers - it's a tragedy waiting to happen.
Now it has.
We don't really know it's a tragedy yet.
The man's in hospital, Arlo.
Yeah, but a tragedy is like a whole other level of thing.
Are you going in there? Yeah.
So? I don't go in there while the summer people are here.
Not after last summer.
What happened last summer? I don't want to talk about it.
OK.
I thought I'd ask if there were any jobs going.
Well, good luck with that.
Sorry.
Stop it.
I'm sorry.
I'm not saying sorry for the dropping.
I'm saying sorry for the I don't care.
Just stop.
I can't help it.
Sorry.
Oh, sorry.
Don't you start.
How can we help? Um, is Fiona here? Fiona is on ambulance duty, cleaning up the mess that idiot jet skier made.
Can I help? Well, I was gonna ask if there were any jobs going.
Oh.
Were you? But it's OK.
I can come back.
What's wrong with asking me if there's a job going? OK.
I brought along my CV.
Really? It's not much, I'm afraid.
(CHUCKLES) Trust me, you're already way ahead of the curve.
Can you wash dishes? Uh yeah.
Lousy hours and totally minimum wage.
You good with that? Sure.
Emma will show you the sink.
Come on.
Maybe all those people who have joked for years will regret it now.
Joked about what? About Woody being brain damaged.
Who would say such a terrible thing? The gallery's exhibiting their summer catalogue.
Ooh! I like art.
Pretty art, of course.
Not weird art or art I don't understand.
Hey, any word on Woody? No.
It's a terrible, terrible thing.
(TYRES SCREECH) Ike's doing alright for himself.
I had no idea that was his name.
Yeah, not many people do.
I always assumed he was called Woody because he was a builder.
He thinks it's funny that's what you thought.
Our friend Jeff Woodson, they said he was on this ward.
Yes, Mr Woodson's here.
Can we see him? No.
Is he in surgery? No, he's in his room, but he's already got two visitors, and hospital policy is no more than two visitors.
Unless you're whanau or close family.
Are you whanau or close family? Not really.
Then you'll have to wait until someone steps out.
(MAN SINGS IN MAORI) Oh, for God's sake.
(SINGING CONTINUES) I warned you about this.
And I told you that the sound of a familiar voice singing is invaluable with coma patients.
Coma? Oh, Tracey, George, thank God you're here.
Help me do battle with this dragon! There is no singing on my ward.
Heathen.
Now that Dr Smiler has stepped out, one of you is more than welcome to take his place.
You should go in first.
No, I need someone to go in and then come back out and tell me he's gonna be OK.
Are you sure? (SLOW BREATHING) Apparently it looks worse than it is.
This is a precaution.
They asked him a heap of questions and he kept getting the answers wrong, so they were worried, so they put him under.
Personally, he just sounded like Woody to me, but I'm not a doctor.
(MONITOR BEEPS) Watching someone sleep is weird.
There are no fractures.
I mean, clearly Woody has a skull of cast iron.
I can believe that.
(BELL DINGS) I'll get this.
Yes, because it's your table.
I knew that.
So, do we know how long he'll be in this coma for? No.
But he'll be alright, won't he? We live in hope.
Yeah, we do.
I better get back.
Why is George's son working here? Because he is.
Since when? Since today.
You can't just hire staff every time I'm not here.
Not every time, just this one.
And we needed a dishwasher.
So Woody gets hit on the head with a jet ski and I end up forking out? Also I think they make a really cute couple.
But they need all the help they can get.
That is possibly true.
Oh, sorry! Do you mind if Yeah, that's OK if I just Sorry! Just the two of you? Others will come.
The tribe gathers to honour the fallen.
Fiona.
Dad might be joining us.
Oh good.
Hey, look, I've had an ice-cream so I might just stick with the drinks, if that's alright.
Yeah, what if I'm hungry? Well, you can order something.
All I said was I had an ice-cream.
Pick a table.
Any table.
How's our boy, Woody? In an induced coma.
Hi.
Uh, just grab a table and I'll send someone over with menus.
Why are we serving him? Who? Monty? No idea.
The guy who drove the jet ski.
OK, so that's grounds for not serving him lunch in your book? Hell, yeah.
Fine.
Then Emma can take care of their table.
You are kidding, right? It was an accident, Hannah.
So he's in hospital unconscious and you're going to drink and tell Woody stories? And you could too if you got off your high horse.
But it doesn't help, does it? So we should all stay home and study brain surgery? That's not in very good taste.
That's what people do, Katie, when they care.
They get together because it's better than not getting together.
And if you'd like to come down to the boat club too, that would be good.
And I'll buy you fellas dinner.
He seems peaceful.
You go in.
I don't know if I should.
Tracey, you didn't come all this way to sit in a waiting room.
Go.
It's fine.
It'll be fine.
(DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS) (SLOW BREATHING) He talks about you a lot.
I'm not the fun police.
Sorry, George? I've started a Twitter war.
Oh.
(CHUCKLES) If only all wars were Twitter wars where the only thing that got hurt were feelings and everyone went home thinking they've won.
I am not the fun police! And what's dancing got to do with it? 'Footloose', George.
Are you not familiar with the works of the great Kevin 'Bake-on'? Oh.
Oh, right, I get it now.
(PHONE RINGS) Yay! Another tweet telling me I suck.
George, you've really got to work on recognising your phone sounds.
Hey, Jan! Smiler, hi.
Is George there? Yeah.
Hi, Jan.
What's the story with Woody? You heard? Well, it's a small world, George.
He's alive, in an induced coma.
And being guarded by barbarians who don't understand the medicinal benefits of culture.
But he's gonna be OK, right? Yeah, it's just a precaution.
Against what? Brain swelling! Anyway, jet skis - forget what those Twitter trolls say.
They are evil.
What, you know about the Twitter thing? Of course.
I follow you.
I didn't know there was a me to follow until today.
Really? (CHUCKLES) Jan, does my column over there have a Twitter account? Yes, but I do an excellent you.
What? She surely does.
Yeah, Jan! (CHUCKLES) I'm gonna hang up now.
Well, keep me posted.
Will I need to? BIG MAC: So Woody and I are standing in front of these cabinets he's supposed to be building for me.
For your toy trains? Scale model, Zac.
And all I want to know is when he's gonna finish the bloody things.
And he starts going on about Aristotle and symmetry and proportion and harmony.
Then he goes surfing, never comes back, and they're still not finished.
Why isn't he locked up? Monty? Good question.
No.
Him.
You can't lock someone up for an accident.
Well, you can, but not in this case.
You should be throwing the book at him after what he did.
There's not really a book to throw.
Hey.
Any word? I just deliver them, Tom.
If there was any word, presumably you'd be among the first to hear it? Good point.
(MONITOR BEEPS, SLOW BREATHING) Do you want a coffee? Oh, no, I'm fine.
Thanks.
I need a coffee.
Just checking you're OK.
Having the greatest day ever.
All good here.
How's Woody? He's still in a coma so it's hard to tell.
That sucks.
Yeah, no good.
But in unrelated good news, Arlo's got a job.
Really? It's nothing.
It's part-time.
Mm, so he can be near his true love.
Don't listen to her.
She doesn't know anything.
Is this Emma? Worst waitress ever.
I got a job because I want to earn money, right? Yeah, right.
If you say so, Arlo.
Good on you.
Look, the thing is, I'm not sure if I can make it back to Weld tonight.
We'll be fine, Dad.
OK.
Well, look, I love you and I'll keep you posted if anything happens.
See you.
Are you away? Oh, I'm not very good round hospitals.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Tracey and Enrico are on Woody watch.
He's humming Puccini or someone to drive Nurse Whatsit up the wall.
It's working.
You know I never ever thought of sitting in silence as a competitive sport.
Well, I'm sure it's not.
It is when you're sitting alongside Miss Perfect.
Tracey isn't trying to compete with you.
No, 'cause she doesn't have to.
I'm going in search of some decent coffee.
You want some? No, I'm good, thanks.
So, will any of the things being exhibited be yours? Mine? (CHUCKLES) No.
No way.
Why not? Because I'm not very good.
I bet you're really good.
Mmm.
Thanks for this.
Oh, no worries.
Anytime.
Like my wheels? I'm sure the ladies all love it.
Oh, I live in hope.
Do you want a ride? I'm good.
Thanks.
All you have to do is call.
Still good.
GEORGE THINKS: Being the creatures we are, we try and control the moments that shape our destiny.
We try to bend them to our will.
Sometimes this works, sure.
But sometimes we get it tragically, tragically wrong.
Any change? Apart from me scaring Becks away? You didn't scare her away.
I saw her outside.
She was saying she wasn't good around hospitals.
I don't want to drive her away, George.
I know.
Woody and I, we had our shot, and we made our choices.
Well, I made my choice.
She's really nice and she's into him.
That's good.
Woody and Becks? Oh, lovely couple.
Woody and Tracey? I see where you're heading with this.
You do? George, I've spent enough time with Woody banging on about Tracey to be one step ahead of you.
So why aren't they together? Apart from the fact that he's in a coma and got another girlfriend? Yeah, yeah, bigger picture.
Well, sometimes 'cause humans make dumb choices for what they think are the right reasons.
Yeah, but what if all the parties agree that the wrong decision's been made but they don't know how to say it? Especially when one of the parties is in a coma.
Yeah, exactly.
George, sometimes when a man has no voice, it might help if another man became his voice.
Two beautiful people walking a path through a forest.
Then they come to a fork in that path and then decide to take separate paths.
And the further they go along these separate paths, the more they realise their splitting upwas a really dumb idea.
But they can't go back because you can't go back.
So what they need is a voice telling them to get off that path and venture into the forest.
And the voice has to guide them through the forest until they meet on another path.
The one they couldn't see for all the trees.
You do realise that you're the voice, right? Thanks for the hospital pass.
What better place for a hospital pass than a hospital.
How's the job going? Good.
Good.
I hate doing dishes.
Me too.
(CHUCKLES) But it's your job.
I don't mind.
Er How come you spend summers here with Fiona? Um, my mum hooked up with this guy and he's got four kids already, so last summer I came to stay with Aunty Fiona, and it kinda worked.
So we decided to do it again.
I'm glad you did.
Me too.
And this summer's been way better than last summer.
(GIGGLES) What was wrong with last summer? Uh there was this guy who had this huge crush on me.
(GIGGLES) It got awkward.
Does that happen a lot - guys getting a crush on you? (LAUGHS) Yeah, all the time.
Yeah, that must be terrible.
(LAUGHS) Well, it helps if I've got a crush on the guy too.
Who said you could take a break? Hannah.
Don't listen to her.
Get back inside.
(BOTH LAUGH) You're OK to close up, eh? Of course.
Mmm.
Don't get drunk and drive.
I won't.
If I get drunk, I'll call Ike.
Why would she call Ike if she was too drunk to drive? Because that's his job.
Driving drunk people? He's like Weld's version of Uber.
You call, he comes.
In that stupid beach buggy thing.
Apparently it's part of the attraction.
Word is he's coining it, saving heaps for going away.
Going away? Yeah.
On a scholarship.
What scholarship? The one to go to university in Auckland.
The one he got when That's right.
You'd run away.
So Woody says, "Mate, you think the bannister's poked.
"Wait till you see the newel post.
" And the thing was, he was right.
Yeah, ripping story, Sean.
Good one.
I was just pointing out that he had a really good eye when it came to stairs Had? He's not dead, Sean.
Er, sorry for interrupting.
But you're friends of Woody's, right? What right do you even have to use his name? Hannah, settle.
I just wondered if there's been any news.
Er, not for a while.
So, still in a coma is the answer.
I get that you're angry with me, and I don't blame you.
Oh, that's big of you.
And if I could take back the moment I got on that thing, I would.
But I can't.
It was Ryan's first time on a jet ski.
I argued with my mates, "If you want to ride a motorbike "ride a motorbike, that there's no place for them on the water.
" "Don't dis them till you've tried it," they said.
And like an idiot, I agreed.
So we're meant to feel sorry for you now, are we? Like I said, my decision and I have to wear it.
I'm just hoping like hell he's OK.
Do you want a drink, mate? No, I should I should get back.
Bring them over.
We're all friends here.
KATIE: Come on.
Bring them over.
Come here.
Come here.
Ooh.
(LAUGHS) Mate, it's OK.
(SMILER SINGS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) If it stops you singing, you can go in and see your friend.
But isn't that against the rules? If it stops you singing, it's worth it.
GEORGE: So they just stopped the drugs? And he wakes up when he's ready.
Well, he looks better without that breathing thing.
Looks like Woody again.
Be good to have him back, don't you reckon? Yeah.
I miss him.
Been that way for a while, though, hasn't it? I guess.
He just gets into my soul, you know? I mean, when a man has the gift of being able to say exactly the right thing to a woman at the right time, or He certainly has that gift.
And I'm not even a woman.
Why do things never go the way you want, George? Because when you plan God laughs.
Something like that.
It's not very helpful, though, when you try and figure out if it's the right time.
The right time for what? To fall in love.
I don't think you can schedule falling in love.
Look who I found.
Sorry.
Coffee hunt - fruitless.
Typical Stafford.
Wow, you breached the defences.
Yes, George, I did.
(LAUGHS) Here.
Thanks.
Ike in a Buggy is seriously the best name you could come up with? But I'm Ike and I drive my buggy.
Yeah, but it sounds like you're from, like, the Wild West.
Maybe I want it to sound like that.
Yeah, right.
OK, Shay, how can I help you? Or did you just call only to mock me? Mainly the mocking.
But I, uh, do need a pick-up.
Oh, do you? Yes.
What if I'm already on my way to another pick-up? Then I guess you'll miss out.
And I can't have that.
Where am I picking you up from? Katie's gallery.
Give me five minutes to close up.
I will be there in four.
So sorry.
Family emergency! So this is your money-making venture? Yeah.
I'm doing OK.
I know you are.
I've seen who you're driving round.
(LAUGHS) They're summer people, Shay, that's all.
Who like to be driven by Ike.
Strictly professional.
Hands off.
Why? You could if you wanted to.
I don't want to.
I repeat - why? Look, I I could I could hide behind a joke here.
That'd be easy as.
Much easier than the truth.
Which is what? They're not you.
You're leaving, I hear.
When summer's done, yeah.
I'll give you directions as we go.
So to make my point, I took the half-finished shelves and I put them up for sale at the gallery as a work of art.
Woody was rapt.
He kept calling himself an artist.
(LAUGHTER) Did they sell? Actually, yes.
SEAN: Brenda bought them.
Yeah, I did.
Did you? (LAUGHS) I love them.
How much did you pay? This will go on for a while, so just see you in the morning.
OK.
Do I still have a job tomorrow? Yes, Arlo, you have a job tomorrow.
Do you want to come back to my place? We'll watch something or I'd love that.
(SCOFFS) No.
No, you are.
(DOOR OPENS) Do you know anything about Twitter? I've sort of started something and it's gone in strange and unexpected directions.
No, but I certainly know the feeling.
Are you sneaking off again? I feel like a fraud being in there.
He's waking up.
If you don't at least say goodbye he's gonna be very confused.
(HOLLOWLY) What year is it? What year is it? Uh Uh, it's this year.
What year is it? It's this year.
Yes, but what year is this? It's THIS YEAR.
What year is this year?! (SHOUTS) What does it matter, lady?! It's always this year.
(LAUGHTER) G'day, guys.
(LAUGHTER) Hey, Woody.
SONG: Spend a lot of time thinking about the situation I'm in Are you sure this is where you want to go? Get it once in every while but I never really make sense of it Yep.
Shooting the lyric down like the figurate on my wrist One day I'll figure it out and drill it into my head Moving on IKE'S VOICEMAIL: Sorry, but Ike and his buggy are done for the night, but please leave a message because your business is important to us.
(BEEP!) What kind of lame duck taxi service are you running here? Tom! You're on taxi duty.
(CHEERING) (PHONE RINGS) Two years cleaning up the mess that I made He's awake.
Is he OK? Still don't believe, but I take the leap anyway I feel the nerves swirl around my body Take all I learned (PHONE RINGS) George just says "He's Woody.
" (SIGHING, CHUCKLING) BIG MAC: Here's to Woody! ALL: To Woody! I really want to say that it was full of dreams of, you know, polar bears and penguins just living side by side.
But it really wasn't.
Disappointing.
And what's the last thing you remember? Um well, I was out the back with George, and um We were talking.
That's right.
And then you decided to surf into a jet ski.
Is that what it was?! SMILER: What did you think it was? Oh, I thought it was a very loud polar bear being chased by an angry penguin.
(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) Welcome back, Woody.
Hey? Hey? (GROANS) It's good to be back, mate.
(CHUCKLES) (LAUGHS) I'm glad you made it, eh? Yeah, me too.
And, uh I'm happy for you.
Thanks.
You're a great guy.
It was fun.
All yours.
OK, um, hang on.
(LAUGHS) Did I just come out of a coma and get dumped? It's like what you were saying when we were out the back about how sometimes you don't pick up on the moments that change your life until it's too late.
The thing is sometimes life has a way of fixing things.
Give you the chance to put right what you should have got right the first time.
And that's the best I've got.
Shall we give them the room? I think we shall.
(CHUCKLES) Ooh.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) You know all that stuff I said about not wanting to mess up my life with a relationship? Yeah.
That was crap.
Yeah it really was.
(SMILER SNIFFLES) Are you crying? No, it's the dust in these old hospitals, eh? (SOBS) (LAID-BACK MUSIC) (CAR APPROACHES) SHAY: So, how much do I owe you? Um, I think this one's on the house.
Oh, that's no way to run a business.
Uh, it's called building a relationship with the customer.
Uh-huh.
You know, keep them coming back for more, so (CHUCKLES) Well, I still think you deserve something for being such an excellent taxi driver.
Oh.
(PHONE RINGS) Mmm.
Business calls.
Yes, it does.
Some hussy doing the walk of shame.
Oh, my favourite customers.
(GIGGLES) Life turns on moments.
Moments we cannot foresee.
They roll up on us like a wave.
So he just woke up like nothing had happened? Yeah, well, for him, nothing had happened that he was aware of, anyway.
Go, Woody.
So anything happen here while I was away? No, nothing much.
Emma and I watched movies.
No biggie.
GEORGE THINKS: So we cannot plan for them, which means we just have to deal with the aftermath.
Don't say a word.
Other moments, thankfully, can be taken back and consigned to the pit where they belong.
Please make it stop.
Shall I handle all of your tweeting from now on, then, eh? Yes, please.
GEORGE THINKS: Then there are moments that deserve to be shouted from the rooftops.
(HORN HONKS) WOODY: I'm back! (LAUGHS CRAZILY) I didn't die! (LAUGHS) Monty! Hey! Yeah! I'm out of my coma! Hey! Yahoo! There's Ike.
Ikey! Jet ski, mate.
(IKE CHEERS) Yahoo! Yeah, buddy! I'm alive! I'm alive.
Yay! Yahoo! Hey.
Hey, Georgie! I thought Smiler was bringing you back.
Yeah, well, the last time I saw Smiler, he was heading off the nurse and a very big smile on his face.
Hey, George, you have to try Doug's pickles.
They are amazing.
(LAUGHS) We better go, though, mate.
I'll catch you later.
Yeah.
Doesn't look any different, does it? No but it is.
Yeah, doesn't last long, though, you know, till the summer people are gone and she's all ours again.
Us locals.
I'm a local now, am I? Yeah.
Yeah, I reckon.
Which means you can be in on the secret place.
Oh! There's a secret place? Well, if you're a local there is.
And luckily now you are.
But, hey, let's take your car.
My system's still full of drugs and every now and again I still see double.
So, bring the other George with you, will you? (BOTH LAUGH) And we might as well grab your kids on the way too.
On the way where? There, George.
There, mate.
(LAUGHS) ARLO: Are we allowed to do this? Er, normally no.
Big Mac would do his nut.
Is this Big Mac's land? Yeah, but he gets it.
Gets what? Well, when the summer people take over the beach, us locals, we need somewhere to let off steam.
SONG: Turned on the weather Joined at the stars and the clouds Oh! You said tonight is the night (LAUGHS CRAZILY) Well, Turners, this is it Hey! .
.
our secret place.
You know, when the summer people come, they take over our beach, buzzing around on their water cycle.
We like to come here, keep calm, chill out and stay sane.
And with the power vested in me, as a local I reckon you fellas can come here too.
(LAUGHS) Can we bring a friend? Yeah.
Only as long as it's a special friend, young Arlo.
Hey, Woody, you know, Hannah took revenge for you by sleeping with the guy that ran into you.
Shut up! Oh, yeah, thanks, Hannah.
That means a lot.
A long distance call to keep your spirits up And, uh thanks, mate for, you know, being my voice.
You did a good job, mate.
To be honest, Woody, things just kind of unfolded around me.
See? You truly are a local.
(LAUGHS) GEORGE THINKS: But I guess the best moments, they're not life-defining.
They're certainly not the culmination of some well-thought-out plan.
They just happen.
And you let them happen to you.
And as a way of life, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that picture.