90210 Episode Scripts

N/A - Okaeri, Donna!

"Previously on" 90210: We're in two different places.
|It's not your fault.
It's because we've grown apart.
Let's end this.
- Hey, Naomi.
|- See, that's not fair.
You know my name,|but I don't know yours.
- Liam.
|- Liam's a psychopath and an awesome kisser.
You filmed us having sex?|What's wrong with you? - I love you!|- Silver, listen.
I don't know|what's going on anymore.
You are the reason we are out here|looking for her right now.
She lives with you, Kelly,|not me.
Okay? You're the one who's supposed|to be taking care of her.
Silver, I know|what you're going through.
My mom used to go through|the same type of thing.
Silver has bipolar disorder,|just like my birth mom.
Oh, so, apparently, they're gonna be|recarpeting the school library.
Oh, yeah? They're gonna be doing it|over spring break.
Spring break.
I'm so out of it.
Is everybody psyched? Yeah.
Half of the senior class|is gonna be partying on Jake Olson's uncle's yacht|in the Greek isles.
Supposedly his uncle also invited|Keith Richards, one of the Pussycat Dolls Cookie? Sure, thanks.
You know, you can have a second|if you like, Silver.
- They're low sugar.
|- No kidding.
No, thanks.
So are any underclassmen going|on this yacht shindig or? You know what?|Can we change the subject, maybe talk about something else|a little less stimulating? I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be a drag.
It's just someone with bipolar disorder|needs to maintain balance.
You know, I totally get it.
So, what's new? How was your yesterday? Let's see.
I woke up, took my meds,|had breakfast with Kelly, did my homework, had lunch with Kelly,|went to see my therapist, read an unstimulating book,|had dinner with Kelly.
Took more meds,|wrote in my journal, listened to some unstimulating music|and went to sleep.
It was a blast.
Structure's important, I'm sure.
Yes, it is.
|Speaking of structure, Dixon, I'm sorry, but I think|that's enough visiting for now.
No problem.
Kelly, can we get some privacy|to say goodbye? Oh, sure.
Yeah, of course.
- I'll come over tomorrow if you want.
|- Dixon, just take a breather.
Go somewhere for spring break.
I was thinking about it, but the thought of leaving|when you maybe needed me seemed kind of crazy.
It's okay.
Just go.
Have some fun.
I mean it.
I'll call you later? Not after 8.
T- minus six hours|until spring break freedom.
Who cares? Call me the most perceptive brother|in the world, but I think you're not totally|excited about said break.
It's just, you know, me and Ethan were gonna spend|the whole vacation together and do all of these fun L.
Things|that we never have time to do and then I was gonna get|my prom dress.
But now instead,|I'll just spend the whole time alone, wallowing in my post-breakup funk.
Well, instead of wallowing, how would you feel about|a little brother-sister road trip? - Are you serious?|- Yeah.
Silver's pretty much holed up|with Kelly 24/7.
Now, come on,|I miss hanging out with you.
We used to do stuff together|all the time.
Ever since we got here, I don't know, it just seems like|we don't have any one-on-one time.
I know.
Well, road trip to where? I was thinking Arizona.
- What's in Arizona?|- Adventure.
Oh, and about five water parks,|all within a 150-mile radius.
Water parks? Are you serious? That's if you don't love|them anymore.
Oh, you bite|your blasphemous tongue, but Mom and Dad are never gonna|let us go to Arizona alone.
Yeah, but they will let us go|to Grandma's house in Palm Springs.
Just saying.
I know how much you're all gonna|miss me over spring break.
So for those of you|who just can't bear it, I still have a few slots left open on|my Habitat for Humanity trip.
- That volunteer house-building crap?|- Yeah, otherwise known as a chance|to help victims of the California wildfires|rebuild their lives.
Unless there's gonna be drunk chicks|doing body shots, - I'm gonna stick with South Beach.
|- You're such a pig, Jamie.
Thank you.
Naomi, any interest? Build houses for poor people, have poor people wait on me|hand and foot in Cabo? Tough choice.
Let me ask you this.
How many times|have you been to Cabo? Probably as many times|as you've been to whatever discount shoe store|you frequent.
Don't any of you want to do something|different every once in a while? You know, experience something|you haven't experienced before? Learn something about yourselves? I'll sign up.
- Seriously?|- Seriously? Why not? I wanna experience things|I've never experienced before.
Take a risk for a change.
Me too.
That's why I'm going to Vegas|with my dad's Black Card.
Sounds real meaningful.
Glad to have you, Ethan.
|Will you pass that back? I cannot believe we ever dated.
I mean, the fact that you find this trip|even remotely interesting is Hey, you.
- I didn't know you signed up for the|- Watch it.
- Habitat for Humanity trip.
I did too.
How excited are you about giving back|to poor people? I'm in Matthews' Sociology elective,|and I cut a few classes.
He's making me go.
|Otherwise, he's gonna fail me.
- It sucks.
|- Yeah, I know, totally sucks.
I'm actually being made to go too,|by, you know, family.
But I guess, silver lining, looks like we'll be able|to spend some time together.
Yeah, maybe.
See you later.
Silver? Are you okay? I was in the shower.
For an hour? Just looking for a little privacy.
All right.
Okay, it's time for your mood chart.
Let's see here, it's 9:30.
What is your mood? Irritated.
Okay, irritated.
How irritated,|on a scale of one to ten? I was at a four, but you asked me that,|brought me up to a six.
Okay, then.
How would you like|to spend your time before bed? - Would you like to journal?|- No, I would not like to journal.
Nor would I like to use|the word "journal" as a verb.
- What do you want to do, then?|- Nothing.
Just sit here in silence.
Okay, fine.
I'll get it.
Donna? Oh, my gosh.
Oh, Ruby, look at you.
Oh, you don't have|to take your shoes off.
Oh, I'm so used to doing it in Japan.
You know what?|I'll take whatever height I can get.
I don't wanna look like a pipsqueak|next to my half-sister-in-law who is so grown-up|and so beautiful, and, Silver, come here|and give me a hug.
- How are you?|- I've been better, but I've been a lot worse.
And I'm so happy that you're here.
Don't worry, not too happy.
I'm happy to be here.
When Kelly told me|what you went through, all I wanted to do is come to L.
|And hug you.
- Thanks.
|- Oh, what about your work? Won't the entire Japanese fashion|world collapse in your absence? Well, there'll probably be|a lot of Skypeing and e-mailing to remind my employees|which end of the zipper goes at the top of the dress,|but they'll survive.
I'm in L.
I hugged Silver.
Now Ruby and I can go|check into a hotel.
No way.
Sammy's visiting Dylan, - so you guys can stay in his room.
|- Yeah.
- Okay.
|- Okay, so, what can I get you? We have juice, water, wine.
Oh, we have some amazing|sugar-free cookies.
They taste like Styrofoam.
That sounds delicious.
But you know what?|I'm gonna make you guys some tea.
We'll have our own little chanoyu,|which is the Japanese tea ceremony.
Look at you, all worldly and stuff.
Oh, shut up.
No, you're famous.
You are.
Well, what can I say?|The French have Jerry Lewis, the Japanese have Donna Martin.
|Who knew? Okay, you go make some tea and then you can tell us|all about your glamorous life.
Yes, and do not leave out a sequin.
Actually, Silver,|you have to get to bed.
Good night, Donna.
Night, Kelly.
I'll explain.
I have a lot to tell you.
Okay, so we just have to call|Mom and Dad in an hour and 45 minutes and let them know|that we made it to Palm Springs.
You are one crafty sister.
I know.
Brother-sister road trip.
Brother-sister road trip.
All right, so look, the first song|of a road trip, super important.
All right? Sets the whole tone.
You know what|we gotta listen to, right? - "Seasons of love.
"|- "No Sleep Till Brooklyn.
" - The Beastie Boys?|"- Rent?" Are you serious? All right, look, look.
The driver controls the music,|passenger controls the snacks.
- May I have a refreshment, please?|- Oh, why, certainly, you may.
Yup, it is all yours.
Once I start hearing the sweet sounds|of the "Rent" soundtrack.
Don't, don't, don't All right, remember,|we have some time.
We have miles to go.
So just you and me.
How will we pass the time? I got an idea.
Lots of sex, starting now.
- Starting later.
|- No, no, no.
I have an assignment|for my photography class.
I have to line up a nude model.
Really? That's your response? One "hubba" too many? Sorry.
You're right.
You know, sweetheart,|this is a professional undertaking and I should behave accordingly.
I'd appreciate that.
You know something, sweetie?|I haven't watched you work in a long time.
I wanna see the magic happen.
I bet you do.
Come on, they're starting.
Now, look, everyone, Susannah|here is a real stickler for rules, and, you know, with good reason.
There's a lot of kids,|a lot of power tools.
I'm just saying I don't wanna|take anyone to the hospital.
Because I don't know where it is.
Play your cards right, maybe we'll get|some alone time together.
That's an oxymoron.
One last thing to be aware of,|this is Chumash country, so if you find|any Native American artifacts or anything that might be worth money,|go ahead and return that to me.
Hope we can find some|of that ancient Chumash weed.
I heard that stuff gets you|so messed up.
Are you talking about peyote? Which Native Americans used|to expand their minds and open themselves up|to revelations? Because I wouldn't recommend it.
You might realize|what an idiot you are.
All right, guys, that's enough.
|Introduce yourselves to Susannah.
She's gonna give you|your assignments.
Let's do some good here, you know?|Let's build a house.
Hey, you.
Liking the trip so far? Yeah.
I mean, I'm excited for things|to get going, you know.
But definitely feels good|to do something different, - bust out of my comfort zone.
|- I totally get it.
If I said to someone, "I can't wait|to spend alone time together," and that person said to me,|"That's an oxymoron," what do you think|that person meant? That it's an oxymoron|to be alone together.
No, not what he meant.
|What he "meant" meant.
What are you talking about? Okay, so I have this little thing|going with Liam.
I don't know.
|He's playing it really close to the vest.
I think he's into me.
|I mean, why wouldn't he be? But then he says these cryptic things|like "maybe" and "that's an oxymoron," and I'm just like "what?" So, what do you think? I think, ideally,|you talk to someone else about this.
Who? The girls on this trip|are smelly granolas.
Seriously, they're wearing|utility sandals.
And not a single one of them|complimented me on my adorable little shorts.
Hey, you could talk to Liam,|suss out what he thinks about me.
- Yeah, absolutely not.
|- Great, so you'll think about it.
No, not doing it.
No, Monday is not good enough.
|I need the samples by Friday.
Did you hear back from Paris? Very impressive, Donna.
And also illegal.
You're not allowed to drive|and talk on the phone at the same time anymore|without a Bluetooth.
Are you serious? Well, I haven't been behind the wheel|for quite a while.
Oh, by the way, the public transportation system|in Tokyo is so amazing.
- What?|- I just pictured you on the subway.
What? I love the subway.
Well, people change, I guess.
|Oh, my gosh, speaking of change, I drove by Now Wear This|the other day.
- Oh, our old store.
|- Yeah.
Now it's a different kind of boutique,|specializing in medical marijuana.
- No way.
|- Way.
Well, maybe if|we had sold hemp clothing, we wouldn't have gone bankrupt.
- Yeah.
|- Well, we tried, didn't we? - Can't win them all.
|- What are you talking about? You won Japan.
|You and David are like a power couple.
Hey, speaking of David, how is he?|You haven't said anything about him.
Oh, David is|David is fabulous.
He just got a big promotion.
You know that girl rapper|he discovered, - the 15-year-old from Osaka?|- Yeah.
She's totally blowing up.
Oh, you know what? We have to go|to Opening Ceremony and to Curve.
We have a lot of shopping to do.
Look I'm just saying, this is|the third time we've stopped already.
Maybe if you stopped drinking|so much Dr Pepper.
We're on a road trip.
Drinking Dr Pepper|is practically a requirement.
Then the next stop better have|a snack machine, - because I need to be re-chippified.
|- Hey, Dixon.
Thanks for suggesting this trip.
|It's exactly what I needed.
Yeah, me too.
Put the paper down on the toilet.
Is Dana Bowen there? Okay, well, do you know when|she'll be back from lunch? No, no, it's cool.
I don't need to leave a message.
I'll come see her myself.
All right, thank you.
Okay, guys.
Pretty please? To make up for|you cheating on me with Annie.
- No, we were broken up.
|- Let's not dwell on the details.
It hurt.
Plus I'm going to keep bugging you|until you say yes.
I never get tired of bugging.
|I could bug you all day.
Fine, I'll ask Liam|if he likes you, just so you'll shut up.
Hey, don't tell him I sent him,|or sent you, or that I like him.
In fact, don't mention me at all, except to of course find out|if he likes me.
Just shut up.
Hey, man, I'm Ethan.
Good for you.
Well, hey, look, I know this is, like,|an awkward question, but do you like Naomi? Hey, so this must be the part where|the jealous ex-boyfriend comes over and threatens the new guy.
You gonna punch me now? No, I'm not gonna punch you.
Oh, come on.
|Isn't that how you jocks roll? Don't get me wrong,|I think it's adorable.
Unfortunately I'm not really in the|mood for a pissing contest now.
Hey, what's your problem? They run|out of black eyeliner at Rebels "R" Us? Take it easy.
|Don't go into a 'roid rage.
- Go to hell.
|- Right back at you, man.
- The guy's an ass.
|- Yeah, I know.
Does he like me? I don't like when|they cut the octopus too thin.
Me either.
Okay, we have 45 minutes before|we have to pick up Silver from therapy.
So how are you holding up? Well, I love Silver's doctors.
Both her psychiatrist|and her therapist are great.
She's responding well|to the medicine.
Kel, I didn't ask how Silver's doing.
|I asked how you're doing.
It's been hard.
I can tell that Silver|resents my constant monitoring.
But I don't care.
I am willing to|do whatever it takes to make it better, even if it means|she ends up hating me.
- Excuse me.
|- Thank you.
Octopus looks pretty good.
Yeah, see, to me,|it still looks like octopus.
Hey, guys, sorry to interrupt.
|I just have to say I love your dress.
Oh, thank you.
Just spent the whole morning|trooping around stores looking for something to wear|to this party.
Your dress is the first thing|I've seen I like.
- You're Diablo Cody, right?|- Yeah.
Diablo Cody.
She wrote "Juno.
" Sorry.
Maybe it didn't come|to Japan? Oh, no, it did, but they called it|Teenage Mommy Girl.
You wrote "Teenage Mommy Girl?"|I loved that movie.
Thank you.
I love your dress.
She designed it.
Donna is amazing.
She's like the Stella McCartney|of Japan.
Minus the rock-star pedigree.
|Well, and the rock-star baggage.
Who sells your stuff? I'd love to wear|one of your dresses to this premiere.
- No one around here, unfortunately.
|- But she sews really fast.
Don't you? Yes, I have been known|to sew rather fast, especially before|the Japanese Oscars.
All right, buckaroos,|you'll be staying in Cowhide.
If you need anything at all, feel free to pick up the phone|and give a heehaw.
Have fun.
Okay, maniac,|where did you find this place? They were running a deal online.
Oh, no wonder.
So where should we begin? I was leaning towards Oasis,|because it has an eight-story tower and was voted one of the ten best|water parks by the Travel Channel.
But maybe we shouldn't|start with the best.
Dixon? Where should we start?|Oasis or Big Surf? Look, I gotta tell you something.
We're not actually here|for the water parks.
My birth mom lives here.
Hey, so we met the woman|who wrote "Teenage Mommy Girl.
" Juno.
- Diablo Cody?|- Yeah.
You met Diablo Cody? Yeah, Donna's gonna design her dress|for some big premiere.
No way.
I have been reading|her blog for years.
She's my idol.
And I'm gonna style her too.
|Well, because I'm such a control freak.
I wanna make sure she doesn't|pick out any crazy accessories.
Do you wanna come with me?|Maybe you can be my assistant.
Oh, really? - Yeah.
|- I would love it.
No, you guys.
It's not a good idea.
|It's, you know, a big red-carpet event with all the people and paparazzi|and celebrities and limos and no.
- I just think it's too much.
|- Kelly I'm sorry.
|Silver, you just got out of the hospital.
Mood: Angry.
Level ten.
Yeah, you're not supposed|to break branches off of living trees for kindling.
Look who it is.
|The oxymoron himself.
And yes, I know what that means.
Aren't you the little philologist.
I need to get back to camp.
- I wish you wouldn't.
|- Really? And why is that? Because I can't do this at camp.
There you are.
So Liam and I did it in the woods.
|He totally likes me.
It's so obvious.
And yes, it was amazing.
- The things he did with his hands|- Maybe just tell him this.
He went off to score some peyote.
He knows I hate drugs.
He is a bad, bad boy.
Hey, Mr.
Matthews, so are we gonna|get a chance to explore the area? Yeah, you know, unfortunately, I don't|think there's gonna be time for that.
So basically this whole trip|is just like school, only with hot dogs and hammering? And s'mores.
Come on, man,|what were you expecting? I don't know.
To interact with different people,|to get different perspectives.
I just wanted something different|to happen, anything.
You said we were gonna learn|something new about ourselves.
Well, you learned|you don't like hammering.
Look, be patient, man.
|Maybe you will.
I'm just saying you could've told me.
- I did tell you.
|- No, you said "nude model.
" I assumed that you meant a woman.
That's not my fault.
Can you turn a little to the left? - Do you have to get that close?|- Harry.
It's a legitimate question.
You got a naked man standing in front|of you with his schlong hanging out.
- I can hear you.
|- Sorry, buddy.
And go back.
- Annie.
|- Why don't you take that outside? Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? - Okay.
|- Hi, sweetheart.
- How's Grandma's house?|- Great.
Yes, terrific.
We are just sitting by the pool.
|What are you guys up to? Just working on a crossword puzzle.
Okay, well, then I will let you|get back to it.
Have a good night.
- Tell Dixon we love him.
|- I will do.
- Bye.
|- That is really good.
- That's amazing.
|- What the hell? Oh, my goodness.
|These are gonna be so great.
- What's wrong?|- I didn't like lying to Dad like that.
We were already lying to him.
|I mean, we're not in Palm Springs.
It's not the same thing|and you know it, Dixon.
I know.
But I couldn't tell Mom and Dad|about this, about my birth mother.
They would've made|some big deal of it.
Yeah, okay, maybe.
|But why'd you lie to me? You told me we were here|for water parks.
I was gonna tell you.
|I just thought you might be upset.
No, well, you were right.
I am.
- Or freaked out or something.
|- Look, I just wanna see her.
- I wanna make sure she's okay.
|- And if she is, then what? - You gonna stay here in Arizona?|- Of course not.
Jeez, Annie.
I'm sorry, I know that.
Well, at least I think I know.
It's just you have this whole past,|this whole family, this whole side of you|that I don't know.
Yeah, I get it.
I guess, in a way, you know, there's a whole side of me|I don't even know.
And that's really weird.
I need to tell her I'm sorry.
For what? After my grandma died|the social worker asked me if I wanted to go back|and live with my mom, or if I wanted to be adopted.
I was so mad with my mom|for being "crazy," you know? So I chose adoption.
I left her.
Ever since all this happened|with Silver, I see things differently.
She had a disease.
It wasn't her fault.
So I just wanted to see|how she's doing and tell her I'm sorry.
- Hey, dude.
|- What do you want? I heard you might have some peyote?|I'll pay you for it.
Let me think.
- No.
|- Why not? Because I don't think|you can handle it.
Oh, yeah? Well, how about this? You give me some|or I'll tell Matthews you're holding.
- Think you can handle that?|- Blackmail, huh? Not exactly keeping|with the ancient Chumash spirit.
I'll make the tea tomorrow night.
|We'll drink it together.
No, thanks, man.
|I think I'll be fine on my own.
Easy does it, jock.
|This is a pretty hard-core experience.
You need a guide.
|Someone to make sure you don't freak and try to saw off|that prized Lacrosse arm.
That's the deal.
Otherwise, no dice.
- Hey.
|- Hey.
Sorry, did I wake you? Oh, no.
I had to go to the bathroom|and I saw the light on.
- Can I see?|- Of course, please.
I love this fabric.
So, what do you think of the dress? It's gorgeous.
But I better get back to bed|before the warden realizes that I'm up.
Hey, Silver, hold on a sec.
I just wanna tell you a little story.
When I had my first runway show|in Japan, everything was going great.
Until this one model, Uko, refused|to wear the heels I picked out.
She went on and on about how|they're impossible to walk in.
I was furious.
How dare she try|to ruin my show, right? - Yeah, totally.
|- Well, then I put on said heels, walked two steps, fell flat on my butt.
|Uko was totally right.
I thought she was trying|to ruin my show, but she was really just trying|to make it good.
- Do you see what I'm trying to say?|- Yeah.
That Kelly and I should try walking|in each other's shoes.
That story works on two levels.
Yeah, well, Kelly's shoes suck.
So just give me a shout when|you're done and I'll come get you.
- I'm gonna explore.
|- Sounds good.
That's her.
I can't.
Yes, you can.
No, I can't.
I can't.
I thought I was ready to see her,|but I'm not.
It's still too painful.
I wish I could go apologize to her.
But I'm just not ready yet.
Excuse me.
|You are Dana Bowen, right? - Yeah.
|- I'm Annie.
I'm Dixon's sister.
My My Dixon? Yeah.
We drove here so he could see you.
He wanted to tell you something,|but then he got too nervous, so I said I would do it.
Well, what?|What did he wanna tell me? He wanted to apologize.
What does he have to apologize for? When he was 8,|a social worker asked him if he wanted to stay with you|or get adopted.
So he wanted to apologize|for choosing to leave.
- He thought that was his choice?|- Yeah.
He was an 8-year-old kid.
I mean, that social worker|might've asked him, but believe me, I made the decision,|because it was what was best for him.
Well, I will tell him that.
Thank you.
Can you stay a minute? Is he? Is Dixon okay? Dixon's great.
He's really great.
- How are you doing?|- Pretty good, you know.
I got a job, apartment.
|I'm doing okay.
Yeah, he will be so glad to hear that.
So he finally|got himself a sister, huh? You know, growing up|Dixon always wanted one.
He used to beg me|to buy him a sister at the hospital.
- Oh, really?|- Oh, yeah.
His little cousin, she left|a little baby doll at the house once.
Well, Dixon said she left it,|but I always thought he stole it.
He used to drag that doll around|calling it his sister.
Named her Mango.
- Mango?|- Mango.
That's so cute.
- How much longer till it kicks in?|- Any minute now.
Here's what Hunter Thompson|taught me.
Look at a fixed point in the horizon,|and start taking deep breaths.
Oxygen helps activate|the mescaline.
You should be feeling it now.
Empty your mind.
Really empty it.
Check out that coyote.
- What coyote?|- There was just a There was just Am I tripping? Right on.
And that wasn't a coyote.
|That was a peyote coyote.
It's time to close your eyes.
- Now, picture your own face.
|- Okay.
And go into the image of your face|till you're looking into one of your eyes.
What is your expression|on the face within your face? I think I'm frowning.
Whoa, that's surprising.
Yeah, it's not how people see me.
But it's the face within the face.
- You know what I'm saying?|- I think so.
People think I'm someone different|than I am.
Let me ask you something.
- Why do you smile?|- I smile because Because I don't wanna|cause trouble for anyone.
I don't wanna|make anyone's life harder.
Not my teachers.
Not my coaches,|definitely not my parents.
My brother's autistic so they need me|to be easy and not make any waves.
I don't wanna cause any conflicts.
So I just pretend like I'm fine,|even when I'm not.
It's like a habit I guess,|but I'm tired of it.
I'm tired of always being|the good guy.
I'm tired of feeling like a phony.
Okay, you are making this dress|look so good.
Please, this dress|is making me look good.
You've got to open a store in L.
Seriously, we need you here.
- How'd you get that past me?|- What? Diablo, it's time to hit the red carpet.
|Let's go.
Let's go.
Oh, wait.
Hold on one sec.
|Hold on.
Wait, wait, wait.
- Let's go.
|- Wait, wait.
The stars are|on the red carpet tonight.
Right now I'm being joined|by Oscar winner Diablo Cody.
- Nice to see you.
Looking fantastic.
|- Nice to see you too.
- Is that?|- Donna.
Donna is on the red carpet.
Tell me a little bit about your dress.
This is a Donna Martin.
Yeah, actually|I have the designer here with me.
Donna, perfect.
|Tell me a little bit about your style.
What? Hi, everybody.
Okay, Diablo,|the question I have to ask you Oh, my God.
You're actually not going|to believe it, but God knows.
Probably monster-truck racing.
We haven't laughed like this|in a while.
I know you think I'm too strict, but we can't forget what happened.
And I don't.
Believe me,|I don't forget about it for an instant.
I have this to remind me every day.
But I don't want my whole life|to be about that.
You know, Donna used to work|with this model named Uko Wait.
- She told you that story too?|- Yeah.
All right, look,|you were right about the premiere.
It would've been too much for me, but I still need some spontaneity|in my life.
Even it's just deciding to put on a|face mask and bake some cookies, watch a horror movie.
What do you say we put on|a face mask, bake some cookies? And watch a horror movie? Don't push it.
Come on.
Yeah, no more phoniness,|no more faking it.
From now on, if I'm upset about stuff|people are gonna know it.
I'm talking a lot.
|Am I ruining your high? No, it's pretty profound going along|with someone else's trip.
I'm gonna take a leak.
This stuff's delicious.
- Damn.
|- Liam? Liam? Over here.
- I jacked my ankle.
|- Oh, man, you look weird down there.
- Will you give me a hand?|- Sure.
No, no, wait.
That's what the old Ethan would've|done.
Helped out, been the good guy.
- What if this is some cosmic test?|- This isn't a cosmic test.
How do you know it's not a test? - Because you didn't take peyote.
|- What? You worked all day|inhaling paint fumes, you had a few too many beers|and you drank some herb tea.
You were screwing with me? Yeah.
My bad.
Now, can you get me out of here? Thanks.
If you can't bring Muhammad|to the mountain Hi.
Diablo Cody is in my house|and my face is a crusty puke fest.
I once knew a stripper|named Crusty Puke Fest.
Oh, my God.
I love your dress,|I love your movie.
I love your TV show.
- Thank you.
|- I love your blog.
I love your book.
Oh, my God, I love your hair.
We have to get a picture.
|Would you mind doing the honor? Awesome.
- Diablo Cody.
|- Okay.
Look, I tried to score peyote|and I couldn't.
I messed with you because|I don't respond well to threats.
And because you're a douchebag.
Okay, that too.
You wanted a self-revelation|and you got one.
You just weren't high.
Hallucinogens|aren't all they're cracked up to be.
- Thanks, Dr.
|- I'm serious.
Last time I dropped acid,|I lost it and tried to cut my arm off.
I would've cut to the bone|if my girl hadn't stopped me.
- Whoa, that's|- Crazy? No kidding.
Now you know something|about me, okay? So we're even.
I knew you were gonna punch me|sooner or later.
Go to hell.
It's so nice having you here.
Not to be selfish,|but sometimes it really sucks having my best friend|live halfway around the world.
You know, I've actually been toying|with the idea of opening a store in L.
Who knows? Maybe L.
's ready|for me now.
Hemp or no hemp.
Oh, that would be amazing.
|Do you think David would go for it? Donna, what's going on? David and I are separated.
I'm sorry.
You have the worst taste in music.
Don't say that.
I am your Mango.
I swear to you, I do not remember|anything about that doll.
Oh, Mango thinks you do.
Look, thank you so much for talking to her.
You know, because if you hadn't, I still would've been feeling bad|and really guilty.
And next time,|when I am ready to talk to her, will you come back with me again? Of course.
Hey, you.
I thought maybe|you could give me a ride.
Your house on the way to Ethan's? Excuse me? Yeah.
You're giving him a ride? Forget it.
I have my car here,|I just remembered.
And I just remembered|how hot you were in the woods, so don't worry,|you'll be getting that ride very soon.