Aqua Teen Hunger Force (2000) Episode Scripts

N/A - Party All The Time

My name is Shake-Zula The Mic Ruler The Old-Schooler You want to trip? I'll bring it to you.
Frylock, and I'll on top rock you like a cop Meatwad, you're up next with your knock-knock.
Meatwad make the money, see? Meatwad get the honeys, g.
Drivin' in my car livin' like a star ice on my fingers and my toes and I'm a Taurus.
Check-check it yeah.
'Cause we are the Aqua Teens make the homeys say, "ho!" And the girlies want to scream.
'Cause we are the Aqua Teens make the homeys say, "ho!" And the girlies want to scream Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
Number One in the hood, g.
[electric guitar playing] Ya! Look at him rip.
His fingers go from A-sharp in a second! Skeletal boardwalks across the ocean.
Now you try.
Hold on.
I got to get plugged in.
Hey, where's the plug-in part? Back from the beginning, please.
[videotape rewinding] [playing electric guitar] UmRewind again.
[videotape rewinding] [playing electric guitar] Damn it! I'm so close.
Take it back one more time.
You missed the first half of the first note.
You're a dick.
[plays note] Yeah! This is how you do it.
Can you all keep it down, please? Shut up, and listen to the wail of my banshee fingers.
[playing electric guitar] What are you making? A time machine.
That's dumb.
Really? Yes.
Well, Mr.
Smarty-Pants, have you ever gone back in time? I farted my way out of an elevator.
That's not the same thing.
What's that thing on your face? Huh? Oh.
Probably a zit or something.
Well, look, I'm no doctor, but that right there looks like aMelanoma.
Well, it does kind of-- Beef Bologna.
Will you get out of here?! Damn it! I'm hitting the notes.
You know, it's the guitar.
give me that.
[playing riffs] No.
Now, this action is good.
I think the problem is your hands.
You've got some baby hands.
This is totally going to work.
I'm inside, and I got the doors and windows closed.
Go on and do it.
Roger that.
Ooh How's that feel? Ow! I can feel it getting bigger.
They look like they're getting you in the eyeballs, too.
WellI know that.
Ow! If I rip any solos with my eyeballs, I'm going to need the bees to enlarge them.
Otherwise, I'd get on stage and look like a big asshole, and I am not that.
Uh! Shake! Shake! Are you all right? I've never been better.
What's up with that face, man? Nothing.
What do you mean? You tried to cover it up with makeup, like a girl.
Can you tell? Really? Yeah.
You look like [clears throat] You ought to get that thing checked out.
Every year, I get me a physical.
Oh, really? And who's your doctor? Dr.
Olivia Newton John.
? I get a physical, physical ? On your face, boy on your face ? Please.
Look, he's just playing around.
But I'm serious.
You will soon be paying to see me in a concert! I'm going to be honest with you.
I don't like the look of this at all.
So it's not an ingrown hair? Oh, no, no.
It's irregular, which means some sort of sun damage probably.
Really? We'll biopsy it and have some results for you within the week.
I mean, it's probably nothing, right? WellLet's hope not.
Magazine war! "Better Homes and Garden, one.
" Foul! Eat my "Redbook!" Better Homes and Garden, 2.
" Hey! There he is.
There's the man.
This guy's got the biggest genital warts I've ever seen in my life.
Would you stop it, Shake? I am not in the mood for this, ok? That's it.
Now, who wants to make history and go back in time? Yeah.
We're busy.
Eat it.
You eat it.
You can meet President Lincoln.
Lincoln is dead.
I'll eat it If you eat it.
All right.
Wait a minute.
How are you going to eat it after I eat it? Look, you eat it.
Then I'll go back in time to before the time when you eat it.
Then I'll eat it.
[gulp] [telephone rings] Hello.
Oh, hey, doc.
[choking] Really? It's stuck in the back of my throat.
Well, it can be cut out, right? Additional treatment? Uh-huh.
[choking continues] Oh, uhChemotherapy.
Thank you.
What did your doctor say? He says I have cancer.
Well, did you tell him that you don't? Meatwad, I'm afraid it doesn't work that way.
What's wrong with him? He's dead.
Dumb-ass ate a scorpion.
So when will you find out about the blood test? it won't be for another week, but you're looking good.
You're looking good.
Stay strong, ok? We'll see you on Tuesday.
He's coming! He's coming! Turn off the lights! We didn't pay no electric bill.
Surprise! Surprise! ? Party, party, party I want to have a party ? All right.
Andrew W.
Live in our living room.
? You gotta party hearty I'm gonna have a party and everyone will come party, party, party the party's getting started I know what kind of party-- ? [door slams] Oh, God.
He looks like he's dead already.
Thanks, Carl.
Appreciate that.
I think the problem was the song.
You got any otherYou know, happier songs about partying? ? Party, party, party ? Hey! Let's party! Let's have a party tonight! Will you get out of here? [coughing] Look, my doctor says I need to get as much rest as possible, ok? Yeah.
Get the funk outta here! And I am now leaving as well.
What are we gonna do if What if Frylock dies? Don't say that.
Don't you ever say that.
Don't you understand? He's in this all by himself.
He needs for us to be strong for him.
And we need him to know that we are going to be right by his side through this till the end.
I just don't know what I would do.
Come here.
He'll be fine.
He's going to be fine.
He always did so much for me.
I can't be here right now.
I have an idea.
Gentlemen, we have a time machine, and this is the key to Frylock's health.
We can break it apart, light it on fire, and smoke the Cancer out.
But don't smoking, like, cause Cancer? That has never been proven.
Do whatever the hell you want.
I don't care.
Frylock, you come back.
I must cure you.
Damn it! Guys, I'm not supposed to be out in the sun.
I know, buddy.
But, uhWell I couldI mean, I could blow up the sun.
That's it! I will blow up the sun! Where are you going? [coughing deeply] I really appreciate you letting me stay here for a while, Carl.
No problem.
Anything, really.
WhenHow long did they-- did they say you had? They don't know.
I supposed to meet with my doctor today.
Sometime this month you think, or I don't know, Carl.
So definitely probably not this week? Just ballpark it for me.
I don't know.
[coughing] You're not like Wiping Cancer all over my couch, right? You know, you really don't have to wear that.
I know that.
I figure, you know, I got house guests, so A good idea to keep the pants on.
Don't want to embarrass you 'cause I got that big baby arm clutching an apple.
Ha ha ha! Hanging low! Give us a sausage! Ha ha ha! Ok.
Comedy doesn't work today.
Hey, time to destroy the sun right now, buddy, and it's all for you, baby.
Frylock forever! Light it up, Meatwad! I already done it, like, 5 minutes ago.
I need my goggles! I need my U.
Ray goggles! [boom] Well, we got your blood work back.
And? No apparent trace of Cancer in the lymph nodes.
Oh, God, thank you.
You have no idea how great that is to hear.
But, uhListen.
What? Yeah.
The aliens are coming for us, you and I.
That's why we must merge as one together to defeat them and their lasers.
Hello? Mr.
Lock? Well, we got your bloodwork back.
And? No apparent trace of Cancer in the lymph nodes.
Oh, God.
Thank you.
You have no idea how great that is to hear.
But listen I want you to stay out of the sun, plenty of rest, and I want to schedule another visit for you in 2 months.
All right.
No problem.
We're not out of the woods yet.
All right, then.
Give me a sweet party party, party, party you've got a party I want a party who's gonna get this party started? Me!