Aqua Teen Hunger Force (2000) Episode Scripts

N/A - Couple Skate

My name is Shake Zula The Mic Rula The old-schooler You want to trip, l'll bring it to ya Frylock and l'm on top, rock you like a cop Meatwad, you're up next with your knock-knock Meatwad make the money, see Meatwad get the honeys, G Drivin' in my car, livin' like a star lce on my fingers and my toes, and l'm a Taurus Uh, check-check it, yeah 'Cause we are the Aqua Teens Make the homies say ho and the girlies want to scream 'Cause we are the Aqua Teens Make the homies say ho and the girlies want to scream Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
Number one in the 'hood, G.
[ roars ] Come on, man.
Pick up the phone.
Pick up the freaking phone.
[ telephone rings ] [ ring ] Why have you you disturbed my slumber at this hour? Do you hear that? Listen.
Yes and it is beautiful.
CARL: Uh, not to me, man.
And l called the cops, and, uh, they took one look and they kept driving.
You leave my tenant alone! He's screaming his head off over there! l'm about to get my balls up and, uh, go over there and make it my business.
With what? You can't stop him.
He will shred you like a sheet.
Yeah, he definitely has me on weight.
Oh my god.
Listen, just give him a couple of days.
He's going through a difficult custody battle.
Stupid bitch! Just so you know, he's ripping all the copper out of your house.
[laughs] And he just hauled ass down the street.
She got the minivan and the damn convertible! Oh, he's probably just getting some money for a fix.
Look, this is officially an issue.
You need to come see this.
Oh, fine.
- Poof! - Dah! - What? - You see that? - Look at that! - See what? - That! - No, l don't see what.
Everything is fine, Carl.
Just relax.
They're only kids.
They're just ki -- no! There's one of 'em, and he's a freaking monster! He is not a monst--! Shhhhhh.
What? l talk where l want, when l want.
l meanuhyeah.
l don't know.
Uh, yeah, l was talking about this guy at work.
He's a monster.
What does she even need two cars for?! Oh, Paul.
Good morning.
And how was your fix? Did you ride the white horse? What did you do to my house?! Carl, what did you do to Paul's house? Look here! l'm getting, uh l'muh have a city ordinance neighborhood watch.
l'm gonnamake some stuff happen! And you better -- You're so mad.
You clean it up at your own pace.
'Cause l know you're big, but -- Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
No one likes you.
l'm-- l'm so pissed off! [both laughing] [phone rings] FRYLOCK: Hello? Heh, heh, hey man.
What's up? Where you been? Carl, we're in great danger.
Check us out on the webcam.
Ehhang on.
[screaming] See? Horrible danger.
CARL: What's that? Like, a big spider? Spider pinata.
Spider pinapinata? Filled with candy?! - No, filled with spiders.
- Oh.
Well shoot, that's different.
Well, Markula says he'll break it open on our heads unless we pay him for October.
But l ain't paying for October until he fixes that damn gas leak.
Well, l'm starting to like this cave now, actually.
Yeah, this is an upgrade.
l like the feel of it, it's got a lot of space.
lt's cool, it's free.
lt's close to the action.
What action, Shake? Ain't no action out here! When the movie deal comes through, though, l'm outtie.
What's going on with you? Eh, nothing.
Just hanging and banging, man.
[Paul screams] What the hell was that? Eh, that's, eh, Paul.
Next door.
Going through a bit of a custody battle, apparently.
Damn it! Damn it! Argh! Oh, boy.
l hate to hear that.
lt's always so hard on the kids.
Well, he sounds like a good father.
From the phone.
[Paul screaming] Must have been her and her constant womanly demands.
ls he living in our house? Paul? Yeah.
lt's actually been rented a few times.
Well, not if l have anything to say about it.
You wait till l get out of here -- We miss you, Carl.
And we hope that Paul figures out his life.
- Family is important.
- Stupid bitch! MEATWAD: But some people, they just shouldn't be together.
Unfortunately, that's the way it is.
And he just needs time to figure that out.
So go ahead and give him that information from me, okay? Alright, l'll tell him, l guess.
Who is he? Oh, Carl, by the way l almost forgot to ask Can you -- can you come get us? Ohuh oh, that's going to be hard 'cause, uh l'muh don't really want to do anything.
Uhwhen would that be, exactly? As soon as you can, man.
But, you know, whenever.
But now would be great.
Like, right now.
Because, you know, l'm torn.
l hate this dude next door but god, l'm so unmotivated.
l mean, eh where are you located again? Oh, well, you know, we're cocooned by military spiders in a cave in the Mojave Desert.
You remember when l told you that, right? ls that in Jersey? l don't know where it is, Carl! Will you please look it up on the internet or something and come get us? All right, listen, l may -- l may have a window, a small window, of time tomorrow.
Tomorrow's the party, Carl! He's going to use us as birthday games, Carl! Birthday games? Well, that's different.
Mom, yeah! Mom.
l'll remember to get the dry cleaning.
Yes ma'am.
Yes mother.
My mother.
l love you, too.
And who was that? - lt was my mom.
- That was Carl.
- lt was my mom! - lt was Carl.
Shut up! lt was my mom! l mean it was Carl! He's been bad! l told you no phones.
This is totally illegal what l'm doing to you.
And you're not going to get away with it.
Fryman, this could all go away if you would just simply pay me for October.
And you fix the gas leak! l'm not fixing that gas leak for me or anybody else, you son of a bitch! - Save it, Shake.
- Yes.
Save it.
lt won't matter tomorrow when we play pin the tail on the shake and we bob for meatballs and then we play ignore the Fryman.
l'm playing it right now.
Lordy, lordy, look who's turning 4040! What? You don't RSVP? Well, you just handed this to me.
Paul next door is coming.
He told me.
Won't you please come too? Roller skating.
And ice cream cake! Whoo! Alright, maybe l'll -- maybe l'll drop by.
You know, is there a map or what? l tattooed it on your torso in the night.
Oh, that's what that is, ok.
lt says at the bottom of the card to bring a gift! ''Please, gifts!'' [sirens] FRYLOCK: Ok, ok.
You're in my room, right? Mmm hmm.
Ok, under my bed you'll find a dead prostitute.
Just ignore her.
Mmm hmm.
Carl, l'm just kidding.
You know there's no dead prostitute down there.
What kind of person do you think l am? A lot of times you pretend like you're paying attention on the phone, but, you know, you're actually not.
Ok, you see the mini-fridge next to my keyboard there? Mmm hmm.
lt's filled with very expensive vodka straight from Russia.
Then what? You're not paying attention again, man! Turn the damn computer off, Carl.
lt's off.
lt's -- l'm not touching it! - lt's off.
- No it isn't.
No, it's not.
l hear you still typing.
You heard me say things during your pauses there.
You knowl'm l'm listening to you.
lt's off.
Now listen to me there's a bottle on the bookshelf [spits, groans] Yeah, yeah.
Don't drink from it.
l won't! And l didn't.
Fricking tastes like liquid ltaly.
Of course, it's garlic champagne.
You must bring it to the party, Carl.
Yeahl-ljust l, you know, l'm thinking about not going.
Aw, come on man.
lt'll be fun.
He'll have games.
Pin the tail on shake.
Bobbing for meatballs.
Well, l can see how that could be fun.
But he's using us as the games, Carl! But yeah it'll be fun.
Sogreat then.
Sowe'll see you there C-uhmom.
l told you no phones! You're just making me look stupid.
ANNOUNCER: Hey, alright.
Let's give it up for the birthday boy! Markula.
How old are you? l am the one turning 4040.
Four thousand and forty? That is old.
Boy, l hope you like it.
l spent a lot of time picking it out.
Of my, uh, crawlspace.
Oh, yes.
Oh, thank you.
What is it? lt's like a, l don't know, it's got, uh, these tubes We'll help you out Carl.
lt's a vacuum.
See? This here, this hook up to your anus and pull out all your vital fluids into this feed bag thing there.
That's what that does.
Well, this certainly looks new.
Oh yeah.
No, of course it is.
You know, l bought it that way.
That's how they sell 'em.
ln stores.
l could have sworn that l gave you this.
Last year! That's right.
And, uh, now we both have one.
There is only one! Now! Douse him, Carl.
Open wide, jackass.
No! Yes.
Yes! Choke on that, Markula! My party! My precious party! No! And now it's limbo time.
Thank god.
l know.
lt's limbo time.
That's right, you crazy crackers.
lt's -- Damn it.
You suck at this.
Whoa! Hey! Hey! Douse him! FRYLOCK: Go ahead Carl.
Douse him, too.
lt ain't working on him! Ohit's not? Ooooh.
Well, yeah.
We don't, we don't really know who he is.
ls he a friend of yours? Or what? Yeah, this isuh this is Paul, the one l was telling you about next door.
Oh, sorry man.
Nice to meet you, Paul.
Sorry about that.
Listen, divorce is tough on everyone.
Hang in there, kid.
Good luck, Carl.
Good luck, man.
Where you going? See you, Carl.
Good luck.
Where you going!? And we're going to bring it down a little for a couples skate.
Oh boy! Couples skate! [Paul roaring]