Aqua Teen Hunger Force (2000) Episode Scripts

N/A - Rabbot Redux

It's been so long Since I left you But I was in jail wit my nephew I needed that bail so I kept you I bet you thought I let you Take my name, my game And make that money my thang You got to understand That Frylock is the man Aqua Teen Hunger Force Schooly D, we back of course Aqua Teen Hunger Force Schooly D, we back of course Aqua Teen Hunger Force Schooly D, we back of course [ computer voice] Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Good bye, Carl.
Goodbye forever.
Truly they were an Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
You're emergency brake is on! Don't tell me how to drive, jackass.
There it is! Ha, ha, jack pot.
We're here! Say hello to your new home, boys! Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing? You need a jump start or something to get outta here? No man, we're renting over here now.
Yeah, cuts down on our commute time to your house.
Cool, huh? No, uh, no.
Hey look at this guy.
Think I'd better go introduce myself.
Hello neighbor! - My name's Master Shake.
-Okay, alright.
Could swear, I've seen you somewhere before.
- Great house you got here.
- Real funny, there.
I love the bushes.
So, what do you do around here? No, no, where' not playing that game.
What game? I don't play games.
- Ok, fine.
- What do you do? Maybe we can network.
No, as you well know I work outta the home! Aahhh! Oooh, my bad hip! Oh, sorry about that man.
I thought I saw a mosquito on your shoulder.
I have to go in and relax.
I don't do well on long drives Shake, don't run off.
I'm not running off.
I got medical problems.
You better get back here and help us unload this van.
Fine.
Open the back.
There, are we done? Where the "f" is my flamethrower? Oh that, uh, probably got lost in the move.
Well that's a quick response.
Maybe you hid my flamethrower because I make poor choices with it.
My jam box! [MUSIC PLAYS] Yeah, this is my jam.
Now come, now.
Yeah Why ain't you dancin', Shake? Dancing is forbidden! Dancing has always been forbidden! Come on, you guys, we're in a new house now and we're starting fresh.
You two need to learn how to share and be nice.
But he's the one dancing.
I ain't bothering you.
I'm just getting my groove on, man.
Shake, he's not bothering you.
Uh-huh.
And plus, his radio hurt my foot.
You're almost You're supposed to be more mature than this, man.
Well, I'm going through a phase right now.
Plus he is 38.
He doesn't know any better.
He's never gonna know any better, and you know that.
I'd be and I wanna have a big birthday party with piñata and balloons and Ben 10 Whoops.
Oh! He pushed me! No parking on the dance floor.
Did you see that?! I didn't see no parking space! Both of you go to your room! I guess I'll just move all this shit by myself.
Up top! Yeah boy! I hate work! As do I.
As do I, too.
You went off script a little, but I liked that ad-lib.
- What, the push? - Nice touch.
Soon as it gets violent, it's a game change Oh, yeah.
You gotta defuse it.
It played off my stunt pretty well.
That said, tomorrow we're gonna have to really stick close to the script.
Hey talking about building a garden.
- I ain't doing that.
- Me neither.
No way, no how.
I mean, I'll eat the stuff but I ain't workin' in it.
I ain't eatin it unless he's growing some chicken nuggets out there.
Who's room is this gonna be? I don't know Wait it's It's my room! No it's my room! I called it! Yeah, you're right.
This is your room.
That's right it is.
I'm putting up my "Whitesnake in the Still of the Night" poster right here.
And over here I'm puttin' up a sign that says, "No Girls Allowed".
What's this right here? Is this a drinking fountain? Yeah, it's a drinking fountain! Right! Take a drink outta there.
No dummy.
It's a sponge bath.
You dip your hands in here, splash a little water on your face, catch the pits, then you sponge off.
Someone left a big long brown sponge in there.
I had that sponge included in the house buying contract.
What this lever do? [flushes] Hey, that my sponge! I'll get you another one.
Hey, I think I feel a sponge coming on.
Hold on, Meatwad.
Careful I think my sponge bath is a window To another dimension.
That's a good assumption.
We gotta find out for sure.
Someone's gotta go in there.
Pull the lever.
Engage.
Portal open! I'm trapped! Between two dimensions.
Your molecules are too big! The portal won't hold! Increase the force! I suggest we never go to that dimension again 'cause it's boring and stinky.
No one touches the sponge bath from now on.
You're just jealous because we can do science stuff too and we didn't have to get a stupid degree online.
It comes naturally to us.
Yeah, okay, just help me roll this into the garage.
Why don't you help me suck it.
Wait a minute, that backfired.
See, that sounded like I suck it all the time.
Which I don't.
Also implies that I would need help which we both know that I don't.
I can suck my own stuff.
Listen, when I'm on, it's dangerous.
Me and this cart been through a lot together.
I got me some fond memories.
This ain't no vacation.
MASTER SHAKE: Keep goin' the way you goin'.
Oh, yeah Keep goin' brilliant.
Where is this farm? Where is this farm? There is no way I'm head in this state! I ain't got no fond memories.
Back to hell from whence you came! Hey where did you get a gun? From my teacher.
Yeah, they give 'em out now.
You need some help there? Yeah, I've got about 60 boxes out here [REPORTER] Erosion the plodding enemy like Frankenstein it attacks our shores Never mind.
I got it This is educational! When are we hooking up the boob channels? Oh, wow.
Check this out Remember these? We was detectives For like a week.
Feels like a lifetime ago, don't it? You know, I could have been a really good detective.
Ooh, who farted? Not me.
Dang.
You a good detective.
Yeah, I was good, wasn't I? Yeah, you was.
Well, I tell you what I'll keep one.
Just to remember that time in my life, alright.
Dammit, Shake! Aqua Teen Hunger Force Assemble! Check out how I did up my new room.
Radicalized! And this is a framed poster of Monet because there's a sensitive side of me, too.
Bitches are gonna be drippy wet when they see his famous lilies stuff.
And Hello I'm introspective too.
That's what this mirror is for.
Introspecting my throbbing pythons and enormous genitals.
The word you're looking for, gentlemen, is incredible.
MEATWAD: Hey, Shake Can you help me? I need to slide this Jacuzzi over in front of the salad bar so the stallions won't get at it.
What do you mean, stallions? Arabian.
That's what come with my room.
I don't see my egg roll noodles? I see garlic croutons but I don't see no egg roll noodles.
And that pisses me off.
Shake power activate! Shake power activate! Activate Shake power! Come on! Hey, hey, chill out! That's a 60 thousand dollar rug you spittin' up on.
What flavor is that? It's the flavor of "none of your damn business.
" How did you get this room? I guess I was left with it since you called the bathroom.
Well, I call this room now.
You can't do that.
L just did.
Shake, he called it first.
Fine I guess we'll just have to paper, rock, scissors for it.
It's the only fair way.
No it isn't.
He called it.
I called it.
I understand your position but, I'm afraid this is the best compromise I can offer.
Fine.
Let's do it.
Meatwad, you ain't gotta do this.
No no, we're gonna do this.
He can speak for himself.
Paper, covers rock.
This is my room.
The end.
No! Best of three.
1-2-3.
Oh, he got you again.
Oh, damn, rock crushes scissors.
I call this room.
Oh yeah? Well bullet enters brain! Hey, where are you goin'? This is fun.
Let's go best of 5.
Well, what the hell is that? This is a hurricane.
And hurricane smashes beach condo complex.
No, that's not what this is.
This is a time-share that is more towards town.
Hurricane beats all housing or apartments.
And this sucker is cat 6.
It hit the beach, moved inland and destroyed your town.
Dammit.
.
How did you know I was going to pull a beach condo complex? 'Cause you're predictable.
Fine.
You win.
The bathroom is yours.
We were doing that for the bathroom.
Shake, you need to learn how to play fair.
You don't get anywhere in life by cheating.
You haven't gotten anywhere in life either.
So what does that say? Take it back, you stinkin' butt hole.
MASTER SHAKE: Wait, what are you doing? Fill it with spiders.
No! See, now I'm playing fair, Shake! [doorbell rings] Look- I'm getting ahead in life! MASTER SHAKE: No no! Hey guys, I found my spiders.
Rabbot! Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday Saturday What's this? It's a bottle of Pinot Grig.
It's a card here too.
Welcome to the neighborhood.
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
What a wonderful gesture Oh! Oh, whoa That's a bad gesture.
SCHOOLY D: I don't understand a damn thang ya'll doin'.
I know you guys aren't, but I'm actually kinda glad he came along.
I was about to black out.
When it's gonna magically form back into a house again? Yeah, you remember that place we use to live? It used to do that all the time.
I keep waiting.
It ain't happening.
Where the hell we gonna live? Alright! Check it out, ya'll.
Our new home! Someday we'll have children that will veg right in front of the TV just like us, and they will work a job to bring home money so that I may live in a style to which I am accustomed! Meatwad, fetch the fertility drugs.
Looks like the Aqua Teens are back in the house! And Schooly D is back on the mic! It's been so long Since I left you But I was in jail wit my nephew I needed that bail so I kept you I bet you thought I let you Take my name, my game And make that money my thang You got to understand That Frylock is the man Yes, yes ya'll.
To the beat ya'll II got a call from Vishal I was standing in my kitchen Said he had a mission They needed some new transitions Aqua Teen Hunger Force Schooly D, I'm back of course