Batman Serial (1943) s01e07 Episode Script
The Phoney Doctor
[ Man Narrating .]
Daka's hirelings seek to steal the map of a rich radium mine, but Batman, suspecting the plot, beats them to the punch.
Let's get out of here before that chemical reaches these wires.
Bruce! Bruce! Alfred, come here.
I found him.
Oh, sir.
Boy, are you lucky.
These beams formed an arch and protected you.
You are indeed most fortunate, sir.
Do you think that half a beard is better than none at all, Alfred? Oh! Oh! I forgot.
We'd better phone Colton right away.
Yes, those men will probably try again.
If I had to have a nurse, why didn't they send someone that knew how to play cards? I'm sorry.
Yeah, I know you're sorry.
You're always sorry.
You're the sorriest man I ever knew.
[ Phone Ringing .]
Hello? Hello, Bruce.
Is Martin Warren with you? No, but my hunch was right.
It was a trick to get your claim papers.
These crooks don't seem to take no for an answer, eh? That's right.
And they'll probably pay you another visit.
So don't admit anyone to your room till we get back.
Yeah, they caught me napping once.
I'll be all ready for 'em this time.
That's good.
We gotta stop off and make a report to the police.
Then we'll be right over.
Good-bye.
I hope that bunch of crooks do come back.
They'll find they ain't playin' with a kid.
Come here.
Hold this coat for me, will you? I have been up against a lot tougher hombres than that bunch of tinhorns ever thought of bein'.
What's the matter? Little gun shy, eh? Eh, don't worry.
I've been handlin' this little toy for 20 years.
Come here.
Let me show you something.
See that? That's my little black widow.
It's only got two bites, but both of 'em are fatal.
Give me a hand with that.
You see? Can't see a thing.
When I need her, I just do this, and there she is.
Say, that's pretty good.
Pretty good nothing.
That's perfect.
So you see, son, I need a nurse about as much as I need a hole in my head.
So you just breeze along.
I'll be glad to see you sometime.
I hope you learn how to play pinochle.
It's too bad you didn't let us look into this, instead of taking it on yourself to investigate.
I only went there on a hunch.
I have no facts to give you.
Say, this looks like one of them.
Yeah, it does.
That's Sam Fletcher, a former civil engineer.
He did a stretch in the state pen.
They released him about a year ago.
No record of him since.
I'll have Fletcher picked up, and then when you meet him face-to-face, you can tell whether he was one of the men who attacked you.
Well, thanks, Captain.
Give me a ring anytime.
You bet.
Send Eberly in here, if he's awake.
[ Knocking .]
Come in.
Stand where you are and state your business.
I must be in the wrong room.
I'm looking for a patient, a Mr.
Colton.
I'm Colton.
I don't look very sick, do I? No, you don't.
That is, physically anyway.
What's your name, and who sent you here? I'm Dr.
Franklin.
Dr.
Henry Franklin.
Miss Linda Page asked me to call on you.
I thought you expected me.
I'm sorry I scared you, Doc, but Miss Page didn't tell me she was sending you over.
Well, I can see that you don't need a doctor.
I might as well run along.
All right.
As long as I'm here, why don't you just let me give you a quick checkup? I'm gonna have to make a report to Miss Page.
I can't lie to her.
Yeah, on one condition.
Don't try to give me any pills.
That's fair enough.
If you'll just sit down now and relax.
You know, Doc, women are funny creatures.
Always worried about a man's health.
That's right.
Just open your mouth, please.
[ Gasping, Choking .]
There's the signal.
Here we go.
Fine thing! He's not here, and after promising to wait for us.
Maybe he couldn't keep that promise.
Give me the desk, please.
Hello.
Did Mr.
Colton leave word where he was going when he went out? Do you know what hospital they took him to? All right.
Thank you.
Took him to a hospital in an ambulance.
Clerk didn't find out which hospital it was.
I guess we'd better call all the hospitals in town to try and find out.
You won't find him in any hospital.
Do you smell that peculiar odor? Yes, I do.
That means Colton was drugged so he could be carried out of here.
Here's something.
That's it all right.
And they used this to administer the drug.
That's no clue.
You can't get fingerprints off linen.
We may find some other marks that'll be of use.
Let's get back to our lab.
Well, so this is the great Mr.
Colton, huh? Uh, Dr.
Fletcher-- [ Chuckling .]
smelling salts, please.
If there are any laundry marks on this that have been washed out, we'll be able to see them by means of this new black-light process.
See that mark in the upper corner? It's a Japanese laundry mark.
I never heard of a Japanese laundry.
I know of one.
It's downtown in the warehouse district.
We'll go down there tonight and have a look around.
The claim papers are in a safe-deposit vault where you can't get your thievin' hands on them.
We do not need the papers.
After you have shown us your mine, we will file a claim for it.
Yeah? Well, I'll never show it to you.
Perhaps a little demonstration will convince our stubborn friend that his decision is very unwise.
Martin Warren, come into the council room.
Martin Warren? Yes.
Look at the third panel.
- Marty! - Your old friend Warren.
He, too, was stubborn at first, but we soon cured him of that.
Warren, step forward and let your friend look at you.
Marty? Marty! Don't you know me-- your old friend Ken Colton? Warren, show him how strong you are.
[ Choking .]
[ Chuckling .]
Stop it, Warren.
That's enough.
Now go to the door.
You have your choice.
You can either show us the mine of your own free will, or we will convert you into a zombie like your friend Warren.
All right.
I'll do as you say.
A very wise decision.
[ Buzzing .]
Don't close that door! Put your hands up.
Keep your back to me.
Tell them to drop their guns.
Drop the guns, gentlemen.
Go on.
It's around the corner, but I think we'd better leave the car here.
What are we coming to this dump for? Daka's got some supplies stashed away here we'll need when we go to Colton's mine.
Well, let's make it snappy.
Time for the Batman and Robin to take over.
Shall we go over the fence? No, the roofs will be easier.
Darn it! That thing would be at the top floor.
Come on.
We'll go up the stairs.
[ Alarm Ringing .]
That oughta finish him.
If that doesn't, this will.
Let's get outta here! [ Narrator .]
Daka has Colton in his zombie chair.
Will he force him to give up the radium mine? And there are Linda and Alfred in Colton's cabin.
What's going on there? Don't fail to see "Lured By Radium," Chapter 8 of Batman, at this theatre next week.
Daka's hirelings seek to steal the map of a rich radium mine, but Batman, suspecting the plot, beats them to the punch.
Let's get out of here before that chemical reaches these wires.
Bruce! Bruce! Alfred, come here.
I found him.
Oh, sir.
Boy, are you lucky.
These beams formed an arch and protected you.
You are indeed most fortunate, sir.
Do you think that half a beard is better than none at all, Alfred? Oh! Oh! I forgot.
We'd better phone Colton right away.
Yes, those men will probably try again.
If I had to have a nurse, why didn't they send someone that knew how to play cards? I'm sorry.
Yeah, I know you're sorry.
You're always sorry.
You're the sorriest man I ever knew.
[ Phone Ringing .]
Hello? Hello, Bruce.
Is Martin Warren with you? No, but my hunch was right.
It was a trick to get your claim papers.
These crooks don't seem to take no for an answer, eh? That's right.
And they'll probably pay you another visit.
So don't admit anyone to your room till we get back.
Yeah, they caught me napping once.
I'll be all ready for 'em this time.
That's good.
We gotta stop off and make a report to the police.
Then we'll be right over.
Good-bye.
I hope that bunch of crooks do come back.
They'll find they ain't playin' with a kid.
Come here.
Hold this coat for me, will you? I have been up against a lot tougher hombres than that bunch of tinhorns ever thought of bein'.
What's the matter? Little gun shy, eh? Eh, don't worry.
I've been handlin' this little toy for 20 years.
Come here.
Let me show you something.
See that? That's my little black widow.
It's only got two bites, but both of 'em are fatal.
Give me a hand with that.
You see? Can't see a thing.
When I need her, I just do this, and there she is.
Say, that's pretty good.
Pretty good nothing.
That's perfect.
So you see, son, I need a nurse about as much as I need a hole in my head.
So you just breeze along.
I'll be glad to see you sometime.
I hope you learn how to play pinochle.
It's too bad you didn't let us look into this, instead of taking it on yourself to investigate.
I only went there on a hunch.
I have no facts to give you.
Say, this looks like one of them.
Yeah, it does.
That's Sam Fletcher, a former civil engineer.
He did a stretch in the state pen.
They released him about a year ago.
No record of him since.
I'll have Fletcher picked up, and then when you meet him face-to-face, you can tell whether he was one of the men who attacked you.
Well, thanks, Captain.
Give me a ring anytime.
You bet.
Send Eberly in here, if he's awake.
[ Knocking .]
Come in.
Stand where you are and state your business.
I must be in the wrong room.
I'm looking for a patient, a Mr.
Colton.
I'm Colton.
I don't look very sick, do I? No, you don't.
That is, physically anyway.
What's your name, and who sent you here? I'm Dr.
Franklin.
Dr.
Henry Franklin.
Miss Linda Page asked me to call on you.
I thought you expected me.
I'm sorry I scared you, Doc, but Miss Page didn't tell me she was sending you over.
Well, I can see that you don't need a doctor.
I might as well run along.
All right.
As long as I'm here, why don't you just let me give you a quick checkup? I'm gonna have to make a report to Miss Page.
I can't lie to her.
Yeah, on one condition.
Don't try to give me any pills.
That's fair enough.
If you'll just sit down now and relax.
You know, Doc, women are funny creatures.
Always worried about a man's health.
That's right.
Just open your mouth, please.
[ Gasping, Choking .]
There's the signal.
Here we go.
Fine thing! He's not here, and after promising to wait for us.
Maybe he couldn't keep that promise.
Give me the desk, please.
Hello.
Did Mr.
Colton leave word where he was going when he went out? Do you know what hospital they took him to? All right.
Thank you.
Took him to a hospital in an ambulance.
Clerk didn't find out which hospital it was.
I guess we'd better call all the hospitals in town to try and find out.
You won't find him in any hospital.
Do you smell that peculiar odor? Yes, I do.
That means Colton was drugged so he could be carried out of here.
Here's something.
That's it all right.
And they used this to administer the drug.
That's no clue.
You can't get fingerprints off linen.
We may find some other marks that'll be of use.
Let's get back to our lab.
Well, so this is the great Mr.
Colton, huh? Uh, Dr.
Fletcher-- [ Chuckling .]
smelling salts, please.
If there are any laundry marks on this that have been washed out, we'll be able to see them by means of this new black-light process.
See that mark in the upper corner? It's a Japanese laundry mark.
I never heard of a Japanese laundry.
I know of one.
It's downtown in the warehouse district.
We'll go down there tonight and have a look around.
The claim papers are in a safe-deposit vault where you can't get your thievin' hands on them.
We do not need the papers.
After you have shown us your mine, we will file a claim for it.
Yeah? Well, I'll never show it to you.
Perhaps a little demonstration will convince our stubborn friend that his decision is very unwise.
Martin Warren, come into the council room.
Martin Warren? Yes.
Look at the third panel.
- Marty! - Your old friend Warren.
He, too, was stubborn at first, but we soon cured him of that.
Warren, step forward and let your friend look at you.
Marty? Marty! Don't you know me-- your old friend Ken Colton? Warren, show him how strong you are.
[ Choking .]
[ Chuckling .]
Stop it, Warren.
That's enough.
Now go to the door.
You have your choice.
You can either show us the mine of your own free will, or we will convert you into a zombie like your friend Warren.
All right.
I'll do as you say.
A very wise decision.
[ Buzzing .]
Don't close that door! Put your hands up.
Keep your back to me.
Tell them to drop their guns.
Drop the guns, gentlemen.
Go on.
It's around the corner, but I think we'd better leave the car here.
What are we coming to this dump for? Daka's got some supplies stashed away here we'll need when we go to Colton's mine.
Well, let's make it snappy.
Time for the Batman and Robin to take over.
Shall we go over the fence? No, the roofs will be easier.
Darn it! That thing would be at the top floor.
Come on.
We'll go up the stairs.
[ Alarm Ringing .]
That oughta finish him.
If that doesn't, this will.
Let's get outta here! [ Narrator .]
Daka has Colton in his zombie chair.
Will he force him to give up the radium mine? And there are Linda and Alfred in Colton's cabin.
What's going on there? Don't fail to see "Lured By Radium," Chapter 8 of Batman, at this theatre next week.