Best Friends Whenever (2015) Episode Scripts

N/A - Epic Girls Day

1 So, what should we do today? A long walk in the park, a long bike ride in the woods, a long swim at the pool Shelby, did you enter us in a triathlon I'm not aware of? I'm happy just staying here and looking out this big window.
Daisy, remember? That's a TV.
Oh, right.
I was wondering why your neighbors were so good at solving crimes.
We have to take her somewhere.
Daisy's a princess from 500 years ago and all she's seen is my house, Naldo's house, Barry's lab and the school.
Don't forget that visit to urgent care after the whole "eating a wax apple" incident.
How was I supposed to know? It looked real! Guys, bad news.
My cousin has food poisoning.
But good news, he's willing to give clams another chance! And since he's home sick, he said I can use his kiosk at the mall to sell my state-themed novelty T-shirts! "Sass-achusetts is for Divas"? Who's gonna buy that? I will.
I got a high-maintenance cousin from Massachusetts.
She is such a princess.
No offense.
The mall Cyd, that gives me the best idea for what we can do with Daisy this afternoon.
Epic Girls' Day! Shelbs, that's perfect! Oh, Daisy, you're gonna love Epic Girls' Day.
As long as it doesn't involve being locked in a tower and fed through a slot, I'm in.
You got a pretty low bar, and I like it! Cyd and I invented Epic Girls' Day.
It's the ultimate best friend day at the mall.
(Gasps) Ooh, I would love to see this mall.
Perfect! Let's go.
I'll come with you guys.
I just need to stop by my house to grab my T-shirts.
It's okay.
They'll remember they forgot me in three, two, one Three, two Renaldo, you came back for me! Yeah! It definitely wasn't because I forgot my jacket.
And that is how we will remember this.
I know it sounds crazy But time doesn't faze me Ever since it lost its hold on me Hey, hey! Hung out till midnight Missed the curfew, that's all right And back to bed and right on time, you'll see Whenever You need me I'm right there with you Whenever There's something You wanna redo The clock is ticking but not for me I'm living in a different reality Whenever Whatever Wherever I'm right there with you I'm right there with you Hey, hey! So this is a mall! It reminds me of our town square back home.
Only there's no place to throw tomatoes at people who say the Earth is round.
(Laughs) Poor dummies.
Cyd, our mannequins.
Daisy, see that sign that says, "Do not touch"? That's there 'cause of us.
On our first Epic Girls' Day, we made the mannequins touch each other's butts.
Super hilarious.
Super got us thrown in mall jail.
What's mall jail? It's like regular jail but with worse music.
Now, we always start an Epic Girls' Day by getting free smoothies from Larry.
I'll be right back.
Why does Larry give you free smoothies? Shelby saved his pot-bellied pig once by giving it mouth-to-snout.
It was the most heroic thing I've ever laughed at.
All I could get was the usual two free smoothies.
But I also got a "just because" card from Piggy Smalls.
That pig is so sweet.
Look, he wrote "Keep it squeal!" There's only two.
You take them.
Daisy, this day is all about you.
You take this one and Cyd can have the other one.
No, it's okay, you're the reason we get free smoothies.
You have it.
All right.
(Gasps) My first smoothie.
Thank you for sharing this with me, Shelby.
May you never be pressed to death! Right back at ya! "North Duh-kota is Obvious.
" (Laughs) I see what I did there.
Renaldo, why didn't you tell me you wanted to turn your hobby into a business? Well, I just wanted to do it my way, and you sometimes Take things over? No, I don't.
But that's exactly What I just did with your sentence? Fine, maybe that's something I do.
But this is your thing.
I'm just here to help.
(Speaking Spanish) Thanks, Barry, I appreciate it.
And the fact that you're bilingual brings a lot to the Naldo-Tees team.
Don't you think it would be better if you hung the T-shirts with the designs facing out? Barry.
You said you wouldn't take over.
Yes, right, of course.
But how will people know that this shirt says, "Windy-ana is for Farting"? I like that my customers have to turn them around.
That way they have a fun surprise.
It's a shopping experience designed around maximum enjoyment and minimum logic.
Make sense? About as much sense as your "shoplifters will be hugged" policy.
A shoplifter is just a friend you haven't met yet.
You two look adorable in your new school clothes.
Mom, I think we're getting too old to shop at Lil' Mister Cool Pants.
He always ties these stupid balloons around our wrists.
I would take it off, but I can't reach it.
(Grunting) Aw, but I love how Lil' Mister Cool Pants dresses my two Lil' Mister Cool Pantses! You're like a cute pair of freckly bookends.
Urban Bro! That store looks cool.
Why don't we ever shop there? Oh, sweethearts, that store isn't for you, it's for big boys.
Now, why don't you two go ride the mall train while I run my errands? I know how much you like the choo-choo, and you know how much Mommy likes her alone time.
Mom's wrong, Chet.
We're 13 now.
Maybe we need to update our look.
Are we Lil' Mister Cool Pants or mature Urban Bros? Mature Urban Bros.
Will you hold my balloon while I shop, Bret? Chet, that's baby stuff! Let's make a wish and set them free.
Next up on our Epic Girls' Day is a stop at the massage chairs.
Daisy, you are gonna love this! It's like a chair that's super excited you're sitting on it.
(Chair vibrating) (Gasps) We have chairs like this back home.
Actually, we'd just sew a bunch of rats in a bag and sit on it.
This is much better and less bitey.
Oh, sorry, Shelbs.
You go ahead.
No, no, you didn't get a smoothie.
You should at least get a massage.
(Loud vibrating) This reminds me of this one time when we were kids and my father's goat What's that? I can't hear you.
That's the best story I've ever heard! I would totally kick it with that goat! What? What did the goat do? (Indistinct) (Exclaiming) (Both laughing) I guess I'll just wait over here and try one of these delicious-looking samples.
That was hand lotion.
Definitely should not have eaten that.
Shelbs, come on! Right behind you.
(Camera clicking) "Classy and Sassy!" I love these! (Sighing) I can't believe I got stuck with the "and.
" I can't believe I'm wearing a hat indoors! Can you imagine if the town elders saw me? (In sing-song) Drama! (Train whistle blowing) Ooh! That looks like so much fun! Oh.
But there's only two seats.
Should we find something the three of us can do? No, it's cool, I'll ride it with you.
Shelby hates the mall train.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
You say there are so many germs on it, it should be called the 3:10 to Mucus.
Then I guess it's a good thing I got a vitamin C blast in my smoothie.
Come on, Classy! (Train whistle blowing) It's fine.
The train's stupid anyway.
The conductor never lets me ring the bell.
(Bell clanging) Daisy: I'm ringing the bell! Congratulations, you're the proud new owner of "Swish-igan is for Ballers.
" For best results, I recommend putting your arms through there and your head through here.
But hey, It's your shirt now.
You do you.
Two quarters and a pretzel? I can't accept this.
Here, take a quarter back.
Renaldo, you just sold a T-shirt for a pretzel-25.
I didn't sell it to him, Barry.
They found each other.
He just paid me to get out of the way.
Okay, I know I promised I wouldn't take over, but I really think I can help you here.
You can help me.
While I go to the bathroom, you can put this in the safe.
It's the coffee can with a napkin over it.
Hello, sir.
You look like a man who appreciates state-based humor printed on quality American fabrics.
You see, if you look here, you'll see the name of a state, which has been slightly altered for the sake of a joke.
And if you look right here, you'll see the punch-line of the joke, within the outline of the aforementioned state.
You can just wear that around.
So, Daisy, you having fun? 'Cause I'm having fun.
Not as much fun as Daisy and I are having.
Your mouths are saying "fun," but your eyes are saying, "I'm marrying a man I don't love.
" (Music playing) Whoa! A dance game.
I want to do that.
But it's only for two people.
We should definitely find something else to do.
Both: I'll do it with you! No, really, it's fine.
I'm playing Daisy.
No, I'm playing Daisy.
Both: Winner plays Daisy! I haven't seen dancing this angry since my father made the court jester work on his birthday.
Urban Bro is the coolest.
I think this could be our new look.
(Laughing) Bret, you look ridiculous! You're wearing it too! Aw, man! This is definitely us.
(Laughing) Dude.
Aw, man! Whoa! We're wearing different outfits.
It's like I'm looking in a mirror, only someone else is in it and it's not a mirror at all.
Mom's gonna freak.
We can't be her pair of freckly bookends if we don't match.
I like this outfit.
It feels like me.
Well, this outfit feels like me.
You're just gonna have to change.
No, you change.
No, you change! No, you change! Wait, I have an idea.
What if you change.
(Music playing) (Panting) I'm gonna take you down.
(Panting) Not if I take you down first.
(Music stops) Yes, I won! (Panting) I'm not even tired.
All right, Daisy, ready to do this? Where is she? Cyd, we lost Daisy.
Again! I'm starting to understand those kid leashes.
Look, we have to find her.
I'll go this way and you go that way.
I know what you're doing.
You think she's this way, so you want me to go that way.
Let's just pick a direction and go.
Fine! You know what? I'll go this way.
I don't care if you only have this many.
It costs this many.
Oh, look who suddenly found an extra "this many!" Barry! What have you done? Isn't it great? I actually made Naldo-Tees profitable! But you promised not to Oh, hold that thought.
I'm getting a nibble on "Shy-oming is for Introverts.
" I've had a lot of interest on that one, but not a lot of eye contact.
I couldn't find Daisy anywhere! I can't believe we lost a 500-year-old princess at the mall.
Look, let's just jump back to when we rode the train.
We know we were with her then.
Forget it.
You just want to have fun with her again, while I'm left standing around.
Let's jump to the photo booth.
Oh, what, so I can be crowded out of every picture for a second time? No, thanks.
I've felt like a third wheel all day.
You've felt like a third wheel? At least you got an adorable smoothie and a delicious puppy! Or something like that.
I get all mixed up when I'm mad! Can we talk about this later? Right now we just need to find Daisy.
At least we agree on that.
So you know where we're jumping? Yep, to the train.
No, the photo booth! Daisy! I knew if we jumped back to when we were on the train, we'd find you.
Yes! The photo booth! I knew this was the best place to find you.
I told you, Cyd.
Where's Cyd? Who's Cyd? Where's Shelby? Who's Shelby? What do you mean? She's our friend.
This is her right here.
She's not there.
That doesn't make sense.
Me and Shelby brought you here for an Epic Girls' Day.
No, you brought me here for an Epic Girls' Day.
But that means I time-traveled my best friend out of existence.
Did I jump to a timeline where Cyd doesn't exist? Is that possible? Anything's possible.
I mean, chickens, right? We'll definitely circle back on that.
But right now I'm a little focused on the fact that my best friend is gone.
How did this happen? Maybe I was trying so hard not to be a third wheel that I time-traveled to a place where I couldn't be a third wheel.
Is that possible? Anything's possible.
I mean, chickens.
Right? How am I going to fix this? I can't jump back to when Cyd exists if I don't have a Cyd to jump with.
This is how we're dressing now.
No, this is how we're dressing now! Boys? Both: Mom? What are you wearing? It's called the layered look.
Nancy in Juniors says I can pull it off.
I thought I told you this store was for big boys.
We are big boys! And we want to start dressing different.
But Bret won't wear the same different clothes as me! I knew someday this would happen.
I've always loved taking you to Lil' Mister Cool Pants and dressing you in matching outfits.
But you're right.
You're teenagers now.
And if you want to dress differently, it's okay with me.
But if we don't dress the same, we won't be your freckly little bookends anymore.
You'll always be my freckly little bookends.
You'll just be bookends that don't share pants.
Are you ready for that, Bret? The question is, is the world ready for us? Only one way to find out.
(Alarm blaring) Boys, wait, we have to pay for those! They already have two strikes at this mall! Renaldo, what are you doing sitting around? I could really use some assistance over here.
Nah, I don't want to.
What are you talking about? This is your thing! Is it? Yes.
Is it? Yes.
Is it? No? Exactly! Barry, you took over my thing.
But I'm making tons of money.
This was never about making money.
It was about me sharing the shirts I love to make, the way I wanted to share them.
And you took it over and did it your way.
Renaldo, you're right.
I should have realized how important this was to you.
I'm sorry I took over Naldo-Tees.
From now on, we'll do it your way.
How much do you have? All right.
A booger-75 it is.
Barry? Fine.
A booger-50.
So? How did that make you feel? Just desperate for my hand sanitizer.
But also really good.
Listen up, West Portland Promenade! Free shirts for everyone! (All cheering) Whoa! Barry, that was awesome! What are you talking about? I started a riot! Barry, a riot's just a party you didn't know you were throwing.
You have a lot to learn about business.
Shelby, cheer up.
Oh, I know.
Let's sit in these massage chairs.
You know who loved a massage chair? Cyd.
She'd set it to deep tissue and fall asleep.
I'd sit right here and stare at her face.
Oh, she had the cheekbones of a model and the chin of an anchorman.
I wish she was here.
Cyd, would a smoothie cheer you up? It wouldn't taste the same without Shelby.
Her big heart got us a lifetime of free smoothies and a chance for a pig to see his piglets grow up.
I completely understand.
I just have to ask again, who's Shelby? Only my best friend in the whole world.
She made every day an Epic Girls' Day.
These mannequins sent Cyd and me to mall jail.
We used to have fun no matter what we did, as long as we did it together.
Cyd? Shelby! I was just making this mannequin touch the other one's butt.
So was I.
We were thinking of the same thing.
Maybe that's why we jumped back into the same timeline.
When I saw you having so much fun with Daisy, I went a little crazy trying not to be the third wheel.
Samesies, but flipsies.
I've never felt left out with you before.
I never want to feel that way again.
I guess learning how to add Daisy into the mix is gonna be an adventure, but if any friends can handle it, it's us.
Now let's grab Daisy and go home.
Cyd, we're back in the timeline where Daisy's missing.
Aw, man, we need to get that girl a bell! Should we find a security guard? I think one's already found us.
Is this for touching the mannequins? Getting hauled off to mall jail.
We still got it, Shelbs.
Classic Epic Girls' Day.
Hands off, Dennis.
We know the way.
Daisy! There you are! What are you doing in here? And with Puppy! I named the fish Puppy.
I thought it would make me feel more like I was holding a puppy.
I got the sense that I was coming between you two.
So, I thought I'd give you some space.
Yeah, sorry for making things weird.
It's okay, it gave me time to explore your mall.
I got a manicure and set all the puppies free.
They put you in mall jail for getting a manicure And as I'm saying that, I realize it's the other thing.
Don't worry, I'll just text Barry and Naldo to come get us out.
What did you guys do? I incited a riot.
And I've never been more proud.
What did you two do? We got arrested by the fashion police for looking too good! Shoplifting.
That makes sense.
You know, being locked up isn't so bad when you're not alone.
We're back in that room! Cyd, I think this is Daisy's tower.
(Both screaming) Okay, I've bailed you all out.
But we should stay here for a minute.
Apparently they're trying to stop a massive puppy stampede out there.
Puppy stampede? All: Aw! Shelby, who was that in the tower? I don't know.
But I think that's who was holding Daisy prisoner.