Breaking Bad Episode Scripts

N/A - Crazy Handful of Nothin'

Let's get something straight.
This, the chemistry, is my realm.
I am in charge of the cooking.
Out there on the street, you deal with that.
As far as our customers go, I don't wanna know anything about them.
I don't want to see them.
I don't want to hear from them.
I want no interaction with them whatsoever.
This operation is you and me, and I'm the silent partner.
You got any issues with that? Whatever, man.
No matter what happens, no more bloodshed.
No violence.
"Crazy Handful of Nothin'" Walt? - You all right? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm okay.
You know, honey, you really don't have to Look, I like being here with you.
I'm only saying that, I'd be okay with it, really, if you want to go.
You know, actually, it would make me feel a little better knowing that you were there when Walter Jr.
gets home from school.
Okay.
All right.
- You'll call me when you're finished? - Oh, yeah.
And have you been in touch with Elliott? Because I haven't seen a check from him.
Yes, I got it.
- Really? - It came, yeah.
Yeah, it came last week, and I put it right into my credit union account, so Taken care of it.
Good.
So we're good.
We're good.
Could you not deposit this until Monday? Thank you.
Call if the discomfort's too much.
Otherwise, we'll see you next week.
matter and energy.
When a reaction is gradual, the change in energy is slight.
I mean, you don't even notice the reaction is happening.
For example, when rust collects on the underside of a car.
But if a reaction happens quickly, otherwise harmless substances can interact in a way that generates enormous bursts of energy.
Who can give me an example of rapid chemical reaction? Hint, hint.
Right here.
Like an explosion? Yes.
Good.
Explosions.
Explosions are the result of chemical reactions happening almost instantaneously.
And the faster reactants, i.
e.
, explosives, and fulminative mercury is a prime example of that, the faster they undergo change, the more violent the explosion.
So explosions.
Okay, listen.
Why don't you start reading on your own from the top of chapter 7, all right? You okay? I got it, Mr.
White.
Don't worry.
You got kids to teach.
Thanks, Hugo.
He's starting to lose weight, which is tough to see that.
You know, to feel the difference when I put my arms around him.
- Can I talk to him? - Of course.
Walt when you don't let me in, when you don't tell me what's going on, I think it's like I feel like you don't even want me around sometimes.
No.
And recently these afternoons, when you're coming home so late and we're just left wondering where you are.
Yeah, Dad.
What's up with that? Walt, is there anything else you're holding back from your family? Now's the time to share.
Well I like to be alone, I mean at times, and it's not about you, really.
It's just that sometimes it feels better not to talk at all about anything, to anyone.
Alone time can be helpful for some types.
Maybe knowing what you do when you're alone might make it easier for your family to be more accepting of whatever it is you do alone.
Well I like to go on walks a couple of times a week, maybe more, after work, And I really enjoy the nature.
You know, the cacti, the vegetation, that kind of thing.
It's really very therapeutic.
Yo! You okay? - Did you breathe that shit? - No.
I'm just dizzy.
Come here.
- Sit down, sit down.
- I'm burning up.
Take this off.
Sit down.
Get some air.
Oh, God.
Yeah, that's better.
When were you going to tell me? Tell you what? Cancer.
You got it, right? How did you know? My aunt had one of those dots on her, to target the radiation.
What is it, in your lung? I'm your partner, man.
You should have told me.
That's not cool, okay? Not at all.
What stage are you? Gone to your lymph nodes.
Your aunt.
How bad was she when they caught it? Bad enough.
She didn't last long.
How long? Seven months.
I get it now.
That's why you're doing all this.
You want to make some cash for your people before you check out.
- You got a problem with that? - You tell me.
You're the one that looks like you just crawled out of a microwave.
You going to be able to finish the batch? Yes.
All right.
No.
You do it.
Me? Yeah.
What happened to your mad skills? Go on.
Here.
You do it.
You can do it.
If you have any questions, I'll be right out here.
The next time, put an ice pack on your head during chemo.
My aunt said it helped with the hair loss.
What's this? Christmas? This the one we found way out in the boonies, the cook site? - Holy shit.
- What? Lab pulled up an imprint of some old writing that used to be on the inside.
Old Magic Marker or something.
Yeah? What's it say? "Property of J.
P.
Wynne Chemistry Lab.
" That's Walt's school.
We were supposed to start at 3.
I'm out there making fat stacks, man.
Chill.
Hey.
Prepaid cell phone.
Use it.
- How much is this? - 26 big ones.
Is that all? $26,000? No, that's 26 hundred, and your share is 13, minus 25 bucks for that phone.
- How much meth did you sell? - Nearly an ounce.
Last time I checked, there were 16 ounces to a pound.
You smoked the rest? I've been out there all night slinging crystal.
You think it's cake moving a pound of meth one teenth at a time? Why are you selling it in such small quanties? Why don't you just sell the whole pound at once? To who? What do I look like, Scarface? This is unacceptable.
I am breaking the law here.
This return is too little for the risk.
I thought you'd be ready for another pound today.
You may know a lot about chemistry, but you don't know jack about slinging dope.
Well, I'll tell you, I know a lack of motivation when I see it.
You've got to be more imaginative, you know? Just think outside the box here.
We have to move our product in bulk, wholesale, now.
How do we do that? - What do you mean, to a distributor? - Yes.
Yes.
That's what we need.
We need a distributor now.
Do you know anyone like that? Yeah, I mean I used to until you killed him.
So who took Krazy-8's place? Some guy named Tuco.
A bad ass, from what I hear.
Tuco, okay.
So then just go talk to Tuco.
Right.
Like, "Hello, sir.
Hey, I know you don't know me, "but would you be interested in a felony quantity of methamphetamine?" Well, yes, but maybe with a little more salesmanship, perhaps? You just don't get it, man.
This guy's O.
G.
What does that mean? Jesus, look, he's upper level, man.
He's not going to do business with some dude he doesn't know.
You don't understand the way it works.
You can't just bum rush some high-level ice man and start cutting deals, okay? It's risky.
You need an intro.
You need someone to vouch.
Well, who introduced you to Krazy-8? Emilio.
That's only because I knew him from, like, third grade.
- We can't talk to Emilio, either - All right, all right.
Look, I'm telling you, Mr.
White, it's too risky.
Okay? I mean, we're making money.
Why can't you just be satisfied with the way it is? Jesus! Just grow some fucking balls! Wait till Monday again? Yes, please.
Thank you.
Mr.
White.
Thank you, Hugo.
- Knock-knock.
- Oh, hey.
- How are you feeling, Walt? - Good.
Are you up for having a visitor? Hey, buddy.
Hank.
Let me know if you need anything.
- I will.
Thank you, Carmen.
- No problem.
Damn.
That chick's got an ass like an onion.
Makes me want to cry.
So what are you doing here? Well, I had some questions I wanted to run by you, work-related.
- You okay? I could come back later.
- No, no, no, no.
I'm fine.
Everything's fine.
What do you mean work-related, though? Do you recognize that? No.
That was used to cook meth.
Found that on some Indian land about 40 miles from here.
Old label on the inside used to say J.
P.
Wynne Chemistry Lab.
Really? I don't understand how that came from here.
I was hoping you could help me.
We found it near an abandoned car belonging to one of our snitches.
A snitch? Yeah, one of our confidential informants.
Went missing a while back.
No body yet, but we're pretty sure he's, you know Probably chopped up in little pieces and fed to the buzzards.
Anyway, any respirators like that go missing lately? No.
No.
No, I mean, not that I know of.
I'll need to take a look at that inventory.
Sure.
I got a list hanging on the wall.
You mind if I take a look at your storeroom? Not at all, no.
Be my guest.
Right.
So who's got keys? Well, the science faculty, the staff, Carmen, the vice principal has the master, and me.
How about students? No, no.
No students have keys.
I should hope not.
My question is do any know where you keep them? I don't think so.
No.
Besides, I keep them right here in my pocket anyway, so Walt, look, I know they're your students, but, do not underestimate them.
Big mistake.
Are there any other respirators? Uh, no.
Because I'm counting six.
Inventory says eight.
Glassware looking a little sparse.
- Is it? - Yeah.
You're missing a couple of Erlenmeyer flasks at least.
Oh, yeah.
A 5,000 milliliter round bottom.
Meth heads love to brew in this, baby.
Going to answer that? No, it's just No, I don't Maybe it's Skyler.
She's in trouble or something.
Don't ignore it on my account.
Answer it! C'mon, I got stuff to do.
- Jeez.
- Okay.
Hello.
Yo.
What's up, Mr.
W? Speaking.
- Bad time to talk? - Absolutely.
All right, so just listen.
You know that guy we were talking about, Tuco? Turns out my boy Skinny Pete was in the same cellblock with him over at Los Lunas.
So we got our in.
We're hauling a pound to the dude right now.
Okay, then.
Thank you very much for calling.
My doctor is very solicitous.
Look, buddy, the last thing I want to do is get you in hot water, but some meth monkey had a feeding frenzy in here, okay? You got to keep a better watch over your turf.
I will.
We don't want people to start wondering about you, right? Right.
No.
Right.
Absolutely not.
So you're sure you're tight with this guy? Two nuts in a ball sack, yo.
Yo, man, I'm Skinny Pete! Maybe this isn't such a good idea, yo.
Come on.
Atta man.
That's what's happening.
Yo, Tuco's expecting us.
No need, man.
Me and Tuco go back.
Tuco.
What's happening, my brother? Sick crib, yo.
You been keeping it real since you been sprung.
What's it been, like a year? - This your boy? - Yeah, Jesse.
The dude with the glass I was telling you about.
Hey, man.
Yeah, I've heard a lot about you.
Break out the ice.
Take a bump.
No worries, man.
I'm no cop.
I said hit it.
All right.
This kicks like a mule with his balls wrapped in duct tape.
- Where'd you get it? - I cooked it.
Bullshit! Who you working for? No one, man.
I mean, I have a partner that I cook with, but that's it.
All right.
We got a deal.
See? I told you Tuco would hook you up.
Cool.
I haven't said how much.
All right.
How much? Well, you're a little light, ese.
It's all right.
Don't sweat it.
It's all good.
It's good.
Walk.
Get out of here.
- What about the money? - You'll get it.
This is a consignment operation.
You want me to float 35 G's? You don't trust me? No, no.
Hey, it's not that, man.
It's just, you know, I don't I don't do business that way.
Tough shit! The deal is done! You said this was cool.
Get money for meth.
Cash up front.
Don't front, dude.
Tuco's good for it.
I don't need your punk ass to vouch for me! Come on! Oh, come on! All right, you brought me some really clean crystal.
Do you really want your money up front? Up front.
Nobody moves crystal in the South Valley but me, bitch! Good morning, Hugo.
Don't mind if I call you Hugo Hugo.
We've never had a crowd on the street like that.
Is that Uncle Hank? Uncle Hank's arresting Mr.
Archuleta.
This doesn't make any sense to me at all.
I don't understand.
I got two words for you: background check.
How about that? Yo, yo, yo.
148-3369, representing the ABQ.
What up, biatch? Leave it at the tone.
Where the hell are you? Call me back.
- Hey, Walt.
- Yeah? Hank's about to deal.
Okay.
I'll be right there.
All right.
Let's see what the turn brings us.
You're looking good, Walt.
Your color's better.
Yeah? Thanks.
He's actually on the pretty strong stuff now.
Dr.
Delcavoli's trying to talk him into taking some time off from work, but Well, actually, I just talked to Carmen this morning, and they're getting a substitute for a few weeks.
I just didn't have a chance to tell you.
Sorry.
Your bet, tough guy.
Check.
Yeah.
Check.
Check's in the mail.
Red's 25 million.
Blue's 10.
Then 25 million because that's how I roll.
Hey, Uncle Hank, why were you arresting Mr.
Archuleta the other day? He's a pretty cool guy.
Well, turns out that he has a record.
Yeah.
Couple of possession beefs.
We figure he was the guy that was stealing your school's chemistry gear.
I mean, you know, he had a key.
Fit the profile.
When we searched his truck, we found a big old fat blunt, which goes to prove old Huge Hugo ain't so cool after all.
It's to you, Walt.
Yeah, I'll call.
I can't believe the school system didn't know about this guy's record.
I mean, that's pretty scary.
How could something like that just slip through the cracks? I don't know.
I mean, for what it's worth, Hugo just doesn't strike me as the thief.
Yeah, well, nothing personal, Walt, but you wouldn't know a criminal if he was close enough to check you for a hernia.
Now, that said, we got a search warrant, and we tore old Hugo's house apart.
Turns out he's a major league pothead.
But he didn't raid your chemistry set.
You hiding something? I'm in.
And the river card.
Yeah, I got nothing.
I'm out.
I'm out.
Yowsa! When old "holes in her purse" bails, you know you're in deep.
Looks like it's you and me, buddy.
What's going to happen to him? Hugo.
Well, I mean, he's going to lose his job, like he should.
Probably spend a couple months in County, as it's not his first rap.
I'm waiting.
You going to man up, or you're going to puss out? Hank.
What? Sorry.
I'm all in.
No.
You bad, bad, bad, horrible liar.
What are you smoking there, huh? You got a heart? You got the flush, don't you? Nope.
Not falling for it, buddy.
I fold.
Talk about anti-climactic.
Your cards couldn't have been that bad.
Oh, my God.
You threw away an ace - What are you doing? Don't.
- and a cowboy, for A handful of nothing.
Who is this? I was dialing Jesse Pinkman.
Well, where is he, then? You the guy? Yeah, I'm the guy.
How is he? Got some busted ribs and like that.
Got messed up pretty good.
I was all like "Damn, Tuco, chill, ese.
" I don't know what got into him.
Seriously.
Oh, he's out, man, way out.
They got him doped up big-time.
So you're the cook, huh? Yo, I didn't catch your name.
Tell me about this Tuco.
Tell me everything about him.
Good morning.
Would you pass the butter, please? Bad ass, Dad.
You Tuco? I want to talk to Tuco, and I'm not leaving until I do.
What's your name? Heisenberg.
Heisenberg.
Okay.
Have a seat, Heisenberg.
I don't imagine I'll be here very long.
No? All right.
Be that way.
It's your meeting.
Why don't you start talking and tell me what you want? $50,000.
Oh, man! 50 G's? How you figure that? of meth you stole and another 15 for my partner's pain and suffering.
Partner.
Oh, yeah.
I remember that little bitch.
So you must be Daddy.
Let me get this straight.
I steal your dope, hmm? I beat the piss out of your mule boy! And then you walk in here, and you bring me more meth? That's a brilliant plan, ese.
Brilliant.
You got one part of that wrong.
This is not meth.
Are you nuts? You want to find out? No-Doze, Gonzo, calma! Calma.
Calma.
You got balls.
I'll give you that.
All right.
All right.
I'll give you your money.
That crystal that your partner brought me, it sold faster than $10 ass in TJ.
What say you bring me another pound next week? Money up front.
All right.
Money up front.
Sometimes you got to rob to keep your riches.
Just as long as we got an understanding.
One pound is not going to cut it.
You have to take two.
Orale.
What is that shit? Fulminated mercury.
A little tweak of chemistry.