Breaking Bad Episode Scripts

Half Measures

["Windy" by The Association] Who's peekin' out from under a stairway Calling a name that's lighter than air? Who's bending down to give me a rainbow? Everyone knows it's Windy Who's tripping down the streets of the city Smilin' at everybody she sees? Who's reachin' out to capture a moment? Everyone knows it's Windy And Windy has stormy eyes That flash at the sound of lies And Windy has wings to fly Above the clouds Above the clouds And Windy has stormy eyes That flash at the sound of lies And Windy has wings to fly Above the clouds Above the clouds Who's tripping down the streets of the city Smilin' at everybody she sees? Who's reachin' out to capture a moment? Everyone knows it's Windy Hey, guys.
Who's tripping down The streets of the city Smilin' at everybody she sees? Who's reachin' out to capture a moment [dog barking in distance] So if it's okay, I was thinking about using this one for the test.
Mom's brakes are very sticky-- Hmm.
and you barely press down on them, and it's like a screech.
Sure.
But I'm good? Yeah, you're great.
Why? Um, are my feet okay? Ah.
I looked it up.
New Mexico says all I need is a note from a doctor.
I mean, I know it's not the right way and all, but once I get my provisional, I can keep working at it.
Well, as long as it gets you safely from point A to point B, then who am I to argue? Hi.
You're a sweet girl.
Yes, you are.
Yes, you are.
Yes, you are.
[whispers] I know.
I know.
[Holly coos] [car approaching] [grunts] There you go.
Here you go.
[both chuckle] All right.
Thank you.
Got it? Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
So 9 a.
m.
Saturday? So, which means pick me up about 8:30.
I'll be here with bells on.
What? Just a saying.
Don't worry.
I won't be wearing bells.
Hey.
Hey, Mom.
Hi.
Um, do you have a minute? Yeah.
Could you go in and keep an eye on your sister for me? Yeah, sure.
Thanks.
All right.
See you, Dad.
Bye, son.
Hey, good work today.
Thank you.
[sighs] [door closes] Have you thought anymore about about what we discussed? "Thought any more," meaning reconsidered? No.
So show me the flaw in it.
Uh, "flaws," Skyler.
"Flaws," plural, not singular.
[chuckles] Where do you want me to start? Hey, I don't love this situation, all right, that you put me in.
[sighs] However, let's just stick with what makes sense here.
You took the seed money.
You went gambling.
You invested it in the car wash that you helped run for four years.
You hired your wife as a bookkeeper.
Because guess what? She's actually a bookkeeper.
Now, that is a story an auditor can believe, so what am I missing? You're missing that you should just take this money that I give you and not look too closely at it, so if, God forbid, I get caught, you maintain plausible deniability.
Okay, my estranged husband who, when he was working, made $43,000 a year, starts shoveling money at me, and when the police come, I'm supposed to say, "Gee, I never thought about it, Officers.
Made sense to me.
" Really? That, in your mind, is plausible deniability? I'll tell you what, Walt.
I'd rather have them think I'm Bonnie what's-her-name than some complete idiot.
So you're promoting caution here.
[sighs] And you want a believable story.
That, it seems to me, is the safest way to make the best out of a very bad situation, yes.
Ah.
But I'm noting a little hole in your plot, though.
Why would your estranged husband be doing all this for you? Because he loves his family and desperately wants a reconciliation, though it may be hopeless and futile.
Then again, he'd try anything.
I'm just not buying it.
No, I think it would be better if the husband were no longer estranged.
Mmm.
You know, maybe if he were back sleeping in his own bed.
Wow.
It's suddenly a fantasy story.
I am at least going to be a part of this household.
Dinner with the family every night of the week.
Not every night, no.
Six nights a week.
You'll get one night off.
Dinner two nights, not weekends, with 24-hours' notice.
Five nights a week with no notice.
Three, six-hours' notice.
Five nights a week with two hours' notice.
Four.
F-- Don't push it.
And I want my own key to the house.
No.
For emergencies and appearances, yes.
I am going to babysit my own daughter.
I'm going to help my son with his homework.
I am going to be a part of this family, and that is how we'll sell your little fiction.
How about we stop somewhere afterward and get a beer? Uh, no.
Thanks, though.
Maybe some other time.
No, seriously.
Get a beer with me.
What? What the hell are you doing? That's ours, right? Look at it and tell me if that's ours.
Yes, it's ours.
Now put it away.
What the hell is wrong with you? Where did you get that? Did you take it from the lab? I bought it from the two guys who killed Combo.
They had Combo shot down in the street, and now it's our product they're selling.
Which means they work for our guy.
Right? What is that? That's hearsay.
Do you have any proof? I heard it from the sister of the kid who shot him.
Hear how I just said "kid"? This kid-- he's 11 years old-- shot Combo on orders.
These two scumbags, they got him dealing.
They got him-- And you know he's not the first.
They use kids 'cause, hey, why not? Easy to control, easy to fool.
All they get is juvie if they ever get caught.
Hearts and minds, right? Get them young, and they're yours forever.
These guys killed Combo.
They used this little kid like some puppet.
They used him to shoot my friend.
So why are you telling me this? I need your help.
How? I need ricin.
Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
These two-- Hey.
No.
Hey.
They got to go.
All right? I've got the entire thing figured out-- No.
a delivery method, everything.
All I need from you is the poison, that's all.
No-- L-Look, otherwise, you don't have to-- No-- you don't have to lift a finger.
Listen, you don't even know what you're talking about.
This is not even-- Look, you don't get how right this is? Huh? You don't get how the whole entire world would be better off-- No, we're not even talking about this.
I know a woman who buys from the these two once or twice a week.
All right? She brings them hamburgers 'cause they sit in their car all day, and they get hungry, so she brings them food, and they knock a few bucks off her price.
There's your delivery system right there.
I can be a mile away.
Jesus.
A meth-head you're trusting to do this? You know what? That meth-head stood up to your brother-in-law.
All right? He questioned her for five hours.
She didn't give it up.
You know how it is you know? Because you're not in prison right now.
Yeah, well, I know I would be in prison after this.
Prison or worse, and I'd be right alongside you.
No-- Jesse, you cannot be serious.
Listen, this is a ridiculous idea.
It's ridiculous? What, so you're saying it's not going to work? How about back when it was your plan? Back when you were going to use it on Tuco? Apples and oranges.
Guy eats ricin.
Two or three days later, he gets the flu or a heart attack or something, and he keels over.
That's what you said.
Untraceable back to us.
To-- To me.
Not even that other scumbag we work for is ever going to figure it out.
Yo, it was a good plan back when it was Tuco, and it's a good plan now.
Tuco wanted to murder us.
These guys don't.
Apples and oranges.
Do I really have to sit here and explain the difference to you? Combo was us, man.
He was one of us.
Does that mean nothing? Why didn't you go after these guys two or three months ago? Because I just found out about them.
What's to find out? It's a dispute over turf, right? I mean, how hard could it have been for you to track them down on their turf and kill them months ago? Because back then you were too busy getting high, feeling sorry.
Now, murder is not part of your 12-step program.
This is not some amends that you have to make.
What you are talking about here is pointless.
This achieves nothing.
It accomplishes nothing.
If you don't see what it accomplishes, then there's no way I can explain it to you.
Jesse, listen to me.
You are not a murderer.
I'm not, and you're not.
It's as simple as that.
Jesse I'm doing it with or without you.
Knock, knock.
Christ sakes, Marie, you don't say "knock, knock.
" You-- Like that.
Well, I like saying it.
Yeah, well, that's not the rules.
Okay? Listen, you knock your way, Groucho.
I'll knock mine.
But, look, see? I win.
Not so fast.
Christ, again? That's three in a row.
Frickin' Paul Newman over here? Have you been playing cards with your dad? No, why? How is your old man? He back teaching? No, I don't think either of them are working right-- right now.
Yeah? How they swinging that? Hey.
Did you know that the doctor has told your Uncle Hank that he can get out of here any time he wants to.
Oh, yeah? That's great.
Yeah, well, we're not so sure about that.
Why not? What? That's what they said.
That's what they said because they want the room.
They hit the sheets with Lysol, re-set the meter, and wheel the next slob in here.
We went over this, Marie.
Drop it.
Are you not well enough? Jesus, kid, you, too? Do I look well enough? I'm shitting in pants, peeing in pitchers.
Can't move my legs.
Got it? So people in wheelchairs should be in hospitals? What about people on crutches? Maybe I should be in here, too.
Is that what you're trying to say? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.
Deal, you little perk.
[sighs] [sighs] Bitch.
You know I'm hourly, right? He promised me he'd be here.
Oh, he promised, huh? Well, why didn't you tell me? Let's wait, then.
That's a joke.
The kid ain't coming.
Okay, so what's Plan B? I don't know.
I really don't.
Well, let's brainstorm.
You really think he's serious? That's why I'm here, Saul.
The way he was talking, he is going to do it.
Or try, at least.
Okay, so, what, we pay him off.
No.
No, it's not about money.
It's about getting him off the streets, getting him to calm down.
Maybe-- What if we maybe-- Could you get him arrested? [laughs] You-- You want your criminal associate taken into police custody? No, now, listen.
I know it sounds risky, but it wouldn't be anything that would get him into real trouble and nothing that could lead back to our business.
Just some minor offense.
[laughs] Pinkman in jail-- I don't know.
I'm picturing it and-- No, not in jail as in "jail" jail.
I'm talking about one of those situations where you're in an orange jumpsuit picking up litter along the highway.
That's jail.
You're talking about a level-two joint.
Something that keeps him off the street for, say, 30 days.
Then by the time he gets out, tempers have cooled and hopefully we can move on.
Well, Roswell Correctional's pretty low impact.
In the past I've recommended Springer, but hearing chancy things about their bathrooms since they renovated, so So it's possible, right? Yeah, well, it falls under my premium-services package, but you can afford that.
I'll call my P.
I.
[Jesse] You understand what you have to do? You can never talk to anyone.
Right? I mean, ever.
Understand? Yeah.
I found this stuff on the Internet.
Takes days to kick in.
Just keep quiet, and this won't ever come back to you.
You're okay with this, right? Just think of it like it's the same thing as always.
You're just delivering some hamburgers.
It's not just delivering hamburgers.
Hey, you got a kid.
Right? What's his name? Patrick.
Imagine these two guys and Patrick working as a mule, making him kill people.
Wouldn't you do anything to protect your kid? Of course I would.
I do all kinds of things for him.
Okay, so these guys using kids like that, they got to go.
Right? Good.
Tomorrow.
I'll be in touch.
Yeah.
Bet that tastes good, huh? [chomping] [knock on door] Yeah.
Come here.
Okay, here we go.
Here we go.
[coos] What are you doing? If you need to talk, use the phone.
This isn't a phone talk, Walter.
Your wife's out, right? Aw.
[chuckles] Isn't she something? I got a granddaughter a few years older.
What can I do for you? [grumbles] Have a seat, Walter.
I spoke to Goodman about Pinkman and this plan of yours.
And? I'm not going to do it.
Why? Because it's moronic.
Saul said you've done things like this before.
That's not the moronic part.
Okay, so what's the problem? The problem is the boss wouldn't like it.
Saul? My boss.
Your boss.
This is a professional courtesy.
No one knows I'm here.
Understand? But our employer would find out, like always, and if Pinkman were arrested, he'd take it as a problem.
Walt, you got a good thing going here.
We all do.
You want to risk it all on one junkie? Now, I realize you two have a history, but this kid's been on the bubble a while now.
It's a long time coming.
What is? Um I used to be a beat cop, long time ago, and I'd get called out on domestic disputes all the time.
Hundreds, probably, over the years.
But there was this one guy, this one piece of shit that I will never forget.
Gordie.
He looked like Bo Svenson.
You remember him? Walking Tall? You don't remember? No.
Anyway big boy-- 270, 280, but his wife-- or whatever she was-- his lady was real small, like a bird, wrists like little branches.
Hmm.
Anyway, my partner and I get called out there every weekend, and one of us would pull her aside and we'd say, "Come on, tonight's the night we press charges.
" And this wasn't one of those "deep down he really loves me" set-ups.
We got a lot of those, but not this.
This girl was scared.
She wasn't going to cross him no way, no how.
Nothing we could do but pass her off to the EMTs, put him in the car, drive him downtown, throw him in the drunk tank.
He sleeps it off.
Next morning, out he goes-- back home.
But one night my partner's out sick, and it's just me.
And the call comes in, and it's the usual crap-- broken-nose-in-the-shower kind of thing.
So I cuff him, put him in the car, and away we go.
Only that night we're driving into town, and this sideways asshole is in my back seat humming "Danny Boy.
" [chuckles] And it just rubbed me wrong.
So instead of left, I go right, out into nowhere.
And I kneel him down, and I put my revolver in his mouth, and I told him, "This is it.
This is how it ends.
" And he's crying, going to the bathroom all over himself, swearing to God he's going to leave her alone, screaming as much as you can with a gun in your mouth.
And I told him to be quiet 'cause I need to think about what I was gong to do here.
And of course he got quiet.
Goes still.
And real quiet.
Like a dog waiting for dinner scraps.
Then we just stood there for a while.
Me acting like I'm thinking things over, and Prince Charming kneeling in the dirt with shit in his pants.
And after a few minutes I took the gun out of his mouth, and I say, "So help me, if you ever touch her again, "I will such and such and such and such and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
" Just a warning? [chuckles] Of course.
Just trying to do the right thing.
But two weeks later he killed her.
Of course.
Caved her head in with the base of a Waring blender.
We got there, there was so much blood, you could taste the metal.
Hmm.
The moral of the story is I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way.
I'll never make that mistake again.
No more half measures, Walter.
[Jesse] Man, I don't get this.
I don't get this at all.
All I'm seeing is the kid.
So where are they? [sighs] I don't know.
They're always around.
Burgers are getting cold.
So is it, like, fast? Don't sweat it, all right? You're just doing what you do.
Nobody's going to know anything.
Can I have another bump? You had your bump.
We get this thing done.
Then you can have all you want.
[knock on window] Going to need you to come with me.
Take a walk.
Where are we going? Sit down.
I understand that you have a problem with two of my employees.
It is true that they killed one of your associates.
It is possible they acted rashly, but, on the other hand, there was provocation.
A man was selling on their territory.
There is blame on both sides.
This will go no further.
It will be settled right here, right now.
You told him.
Wait outside.
Listen to me.
You have one friend in this room.
This man.
Those men outside are my trusted employees, and when I learned what you intended to do If it wasn't for this man and the respect I have for him, I would be dealing with this in a very different way.
You don't look at him.
You look at me.
This is what happens now.
My men will come back inside, and you will shake their hands and you will make peace.
And that will be the end of this.
No.
Jesse-- Pardon me? They use kids.
These assholes of yours, they got an 11-year-old kid doing their killing for them.
You're supposed to be some kind of reasonable businessman.
This how you do business? You okay with this? You got anything to say here? Bring them back.
No more children.
Understand? And you.
You keep the peace.
Say it.
Yeah.
I'll keep the peace.
Shake hands.
Jesse, your actions they affect other people.
And sometimes compromises have to be made for the best of reasons.
No, Jesse.
Jesse! [mutters] Marie, let the people who get paid to do this, do this.
The people who get paid to do this, do a lousy job.
So I guess this is what you want, huh? Just lying in a hospital bed, getting sponge baths from nurses.
Marie.
It's time to go home, Hank.
How many times I got to tell you, Marie? Not till I'm well.
[stammering] Hey, what are you doing? I'm just seeing.
Seeing what? Seeing what I see.
I'm not at my best here, Marie.
We'll see.
Nothing's going to happen.
I say it will.
Nuh-uh.
I'm in this bed for a reason.
Well, it's a waste of time.
Besides, what if someone comes in? Let them.
I don't care if someone walks in.
Marie, what's wrong with you? I'll tell you what.
If I can get the groundhog to see his shadow-- It's not going to happen.
I'm sorry.
I'm betting it will, and if he does, you check out of here.
[chuckles] I'm not going to bet on whether I get a boner.
It's not bet.
There's no bet here.
No bet.
You afraid you'll lose? You know what? You're just-- You're just being foolish, you know? Come on.
What's the point? The point is you're not completely hopeless.
We have a bet? You know what? If it'll get you out of here quicker, you got one minute.
One minute? [chuckles] Yeah.
All right.
That's a cakewalk.
Yeah, this is just-- It's just sad.
I mean-- I really feel sorry for you, Marie, you know? I really do.
It's just-- It's-- [chuckles] pathetic.
That's okay.
Keep talking.
Protest.
Struggle.
Marie, give up.
I mean, seriously, it's not going to happen.
[sighs] [chuckles] [Woman on P.
A.
] Dr.
Kravitz, you have a visitor in the main lobby.
Dr.
Kravitz, a visitor in the main lobby.
Bad day? I don't even know.
Anyway, it's better now.
[phone rings] [both groan] [rings] Tell them you're busy.
Hello.
Grandma? Slow down.
Slow down.
I can't-- [weeping] Oh, God.
Oh, God.
[sobbing] Oh, God.
[sobbing] [chatter on police radio] [Andrea sobbing] There he is! Let me through.
Tomas! [sobbing] No! You have to let me in! Please! [sobbing continues] [Jesse] Hey, it's me.
Wait for the thing.
[beep] Jesse, you are now I'm starting without you.
[Woman] What is wasabi? [Alex Trebek] Wasabi.
Right you are.
"Four-letter Word" for 1,200.
Pilots and musicians know this word Dinner's almost ready, okay? Okay.
Kevin.
What is "solo"? That's the word.
This guy is good.
[Kevin] "Four-letter Word," 2,000.
"A loud" Yell.
What is "yawp"? Kevin.
What is "yawp"? "Yawp.
" "Tokyo," 1,200.
What-- What the heck's a "yawp"? This crustacean Uh, "yawp" is a yell.
I'll be right back.
That's what I said.
Terry.
What is crab? No.
Uh, okay to use your bathroom, right? "Tokyo" for 1,600.
Okay.
is the freshwater type.
[beeping] [Jesse] Hey, it's me.
Wait for the thing.
[beep] [mutters] [beeping] Hey, it's me.
Wait for the thing.
[beep] Look, I hope you're not waiting for an apology, because I did not rat you out.
I was looking out for your best interest as well as my own, and I stand by my decision 100%, so we'll just have to agree to disagree.
Anyway, just call me back.
So the TV turns itself off, huh? Yeah.
Oh, I'll get it.
Okay.
[Male Newscaster] Coming up, more details on the murder of a young boy in the South Valley.
Where's the remote? Want some potatoes? Yeah.
Police have yet to release a statement, but sources indicate that 11-year-old Tomas Cantillo may have been the victim of a gang-related execution.
An anonymous tip brought police to a playground on the 4700 block of 8th Avenue late last night.
Paramedics were called to the scene but were unable to revive the boy.
A gruesome crime, a shocking loss-- Can you turn that off? and yet another casualty in what appears to be the city's ongoing struggle Walt? against drugs and the gangs that peddle them.
We'll be passing along detail-- [TV off] Give me your dad-- I'm sorry.
It's just, they've been talking about that all day, and it's just Oh, yeah.
[Skyler] Hey, uh, did you know your dad and I are thinking about maybe starting a business together? [Walter, Jr.
] Seriously? What kind of business? [Skyler] Um, I don't know.
We're thinking maybe a car wash.
[Walter, Jr.
] What do you mean? Like the one you used to work in? [Skyler] Walt? I'm sorry.
I-- I have to go.
[inhaling] [sniffs] [gasping] [sniffs, coughs] [sniffs] [sniffing] [sniffing continues] [breathing heavily] [car door opens] [dog barking in distance] [barking continues] [car engine revving in distance] [vehicle approaching] [tires screeching] [Jesse gasping] [whispers] Oh, my God.
[panting] Oh, my God.
[grunts] [grunting] [gasping] Run.