Brooklyn Nine-Nine Episode Scripts

N/A - Coral Palms Pt.3

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Could 67 be one of them? Two prisoners have escaped from the Coral Palms sheriff's station in a daring daylight jailbreak.
The men, identified as Gregory Stickney and Larry Sherbert were arrested after a routine traffic stop revealed a cache of automatic weapons.
Less than 12 hours later, the men escaped by creating a disturbance in their cell.
Well, they started kissing, which I'm fine with really, I am, kiss whoever you want except they were both men.
Tito Amendola was also in holding at the time and witnessed the jailbreak.
I do a lot of meth.
The sheriff's office is coordinating their search with local and state police.
If you're watching, Greg and Larry, and I know you are, my men and I will not rest until we find you.
That's right, we're coming for you.
Strong words, and moving on, what if you were going through a drive-thru, and a puppy dog took your order? The cops are looking for us, and a madman wants us dead.
We should be laying low until the Nine-Nine gets here.
Yeah, but we don't know when that's gonna be, and we need food and supplies.
Okay, I'll get some water.
Holt, are you trying to draw attention to us? Nobody drinks water here.
Choose something blue or green.
Okay, I guess I'll go in for, uh, the Blazing Blue Rad-berry Cooler Xtreme: Code Rad.
Good choice.
I should probably get some body spray as well.
What sounds better, Liquid Moan or Turnpike? We only have $17 to our name.
We can't spend five of it on this.
I know, but I'm about to see Amy for the first time in forever, and I want to smell like a "hot New Jersey breeze," ugh.
Good call.
All right, let's get out of here.
And in Coral Palms, law enforcement still is searching for a pair of fugitives who broke out of jail earlier this evening.
Greg Stickney and Larry Sherbert are believed to be unarmed but dangerous.
Liquid Moan, nice.
I wore this to Swampsgiving last year cleaned up.
Right on, bro.
Oh, we have a promotion on the Code Rad.
- It comes with a free cigarette.
- Oh, no.
That doesn't matter.
We don't need it.
Well, if you don't want it, I'll take it.
No, no, no.
Don't do that smoking is bad.
You should quit smoking right now.
Hey Ahh.
We seem to be in the clear.
- Are you hurt? - Yeah.
I got caught on top of the fence.
Check out my calf it's like Scratch City.
How about you? I'm fine, except I was impaled on a metal pipe.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! It's gonna be fine.
Oh, my God! I got rifles, vests, flash grenades Chips, dips, ice cream sammies I'm pretty sure there's gonna be snacks in Florida, Scully.
Pretty sure? Do you arrest someone if you're pretty sure they're guilty? No, Amy, you wait till you get all the facts! Hey, okay, everyone, let's just try to bring things we actually need for the mission.
Really? Then what is this? Oh, it's a book of 4,000 essential photos of Nikolaj for me to show Jake.
All right, bad news.
I talked to Captain Stentley again.
He still won't give us permission to go to Florida.
I even brought out the big guns.
Left, right, left, right, both, both, both.
That's so cool! I still can't let you go to Florida, though.
Terry feels like a whore.
He said if we disobey him, there'll be tire consequences.
I think he meant dire.
Guy's real dumb.
Who's with me? Great, Hitchcock's in.
Who else? I actually had a question.
How mad would everyone be if I just bailed? Shut up, Hitchcock.
Obviously, we're all going.
What's up, squadron? I'm airplane ready, and I'm T-minus 30 from my Ambies kicking in, so let's take it to the skies.
Yeah, about that.
Um, there were no tickets left.
But I brought my minivan, so Road trip! I went to a 24-hour vet and got surgical supplies.
I was in and out like a ninja.
Needles, needles, need whoa! So many dogs! I'll need your assistance.
You'll have to pull out the pipe and stitch up the wound.
All right.
This is gonna hurt.
But I'm gonna get you through it.
Oh, God, I'm gonna throw up into your cut.
Ahhh, I saw inside of you.
How are humans alive? Okay, uh, I'll do the surgery, and, uh, you just breathe, okay? We'll get you through this.
Ugh, what was that sound? I did not like that squish sound.
The pipe has been removed.
Now I'm sewing myself up.
Okay, this is almost over.
You're doing great.
Just keep talking.
Keep talking.
Talking about what? Uh, tell me about Amy, hmm? You must be excited to see her.
Very much, you know.
Oh, God, what if it doesn't go well? We haven't seen each other in a while, and what if it's weird? - Uhhh! - Keep going, keep going.
You're doing so well.
Why would it be weird? I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, maybe we've grown apart.
Maybe she'll be repulsed by my frosted tips.
I was gonna defrost them before I saw her for the first time.
I'm sure it will be magical when you see her.
And guess what? - What? - I'm done.
I've sewn myself up.
- Huh.
- You did great, buddy.
I'm proud of you.
I can't believe I did it.
I'm so strong.
Ooh, we're crossing into Virginia.
Virginia is not technically a state, but a commonwealth.
Oof, poor Jake.
Uhh, this might be the Ambies speaking, but this in-flight movie sucks.
So, uh, you already moved the twins onto a booster seat, huh? Aren't they a little young for that? They're four.
Nikolaj is four, but we're sticking with the car seat as long as possible, but you know me I'm a "safety at all costs" kind of dad.
Sarge, I need to go to the bathroom.
We just stopped for gas.
I asked you if you had to go.
I didn't have to then.
So does this van have side-impact airbags? Not in the back.
No judgment here.
Sarge, I have to pee now too.
Seriously? You, Diaz? Look, I'll turn off at the next exit, okay? I have to pee really badly.
- What? - Hitchcock! - Guys, enough! - Sarge Yeah, I know! You got to pee, I got it! - No, brake lights! - Oh, crap.
Everyone hang on! There's no side-impact airbags! Did you get breakfast? I tried, but I got recognized.
Do I know you from somewhere? Do you watch a lot of pornography? 'Cause I'm in most of it.
Oh, boy.
What if you were followed? I don't think it's safe to stay here.
Where are we gonna go? - The cops? - Or Figgis! Do we have any weapons? I have the pipe we pulled out of me.
I would sooner surrender than go anywhere near your gooey body pipe.
Oh, no, I'm gonna do it.
- Oh! - Jake? Amy It's so good to see you.
Thank you guys so much for coming.
I can't wait to catch up with all of you when this is done.
My dad died, and Again, when this is done, Hitchcock.
Gina, you look like a fresh wizard, and I love it.
So we know that Figgis is in Coral Palms, but we don't know where he is, and we don't know how many guys he's got with him.
The plan is to lure them into the Fun Zone and ambush them.
- Any questions? - Yes, did you miss us? Did you ever look up at the moon and wonder if I was looking at it too? - Yes.
- Knew it.
All right, once we get to the Fun Zone, I'll fill everyone in on the mission details.
You guys come with me.
Captain, you stay here and rest.
What? I don't need to rest.
I'm in peak condition.
All right, then stand up.
I love standing up.
Yeah, you're staying here.
Aw, Captain, don't worry, okay? My sleeping pills are doing their job, and I can stay here and take care of you, okay? Terry, I'm gonna need your gun.
That's not happening.
All right, I'll use my own.
That is adorable.
Where did you get that? Vending machine at a rest stop.
Give me that.
Just don't let Captain Holt die.
And stay on your phone for logistical support as planned.
Now come on, guys, let's get ready.
Hey, we never really got a chance to say hi.
Oh, my God, everyone, Jake and Amy are going to kiss for the first time in six months.
Let those Nicholas Sparks fly.
So everyone's just gonna watch us? Yes! Now get to it, you lovebirds.
Here we go.
Come on, man.
How did you get there so fast? - Love finds a way.
- Ugh.
Welcome to the Fun Zone.
I know the manager, and he's agreed to shut the place down for the day, so there won't be any civilians around.
You put up all these fake signs about a major health code violation.
No, those are actually always there something about lead being in the air and water and ground.
Anyways, you all have your assignments.
Let's plan an ambush.
Nine-Nine! NineNine! Chills, you guys.
Literally, chills.
Hey there, Nikolaj.
It's your papa.
If you're watching this, something bad has happened to me.
But I want you to know that I love you very much.
You want to stop filming yourself and help me with these many items I'm carrying? Sorry, I was making a video for my son.
You know, in case I never see him again.
Do you not do that for your kids? Of course I do.
I make those kind of videos all the time.
You know, in fact, I was about to do one right now.
Hey hey, girls.
It's me, Daddy.
If you're seeing this, I'm dead.
But I want you to know that I love you now and forever.
Okay, time for a lullaby, sung in your native Latvian.
Ligo! Ligo! Ligo! Yeah, yeah, lullaby time.
Go to sleep, Daddy's dead But his ghost's always watching What the hell are you guys doing? Good call.
Blocking the door.
Keep it up, smorty-pants.
- Oh - Uh Mwah.
One of our classic forehead smooches, just like I planned.
- This is weird.
- Should we have sex? - What? - Huh? Yeah.
I mean, no.
No, things aren't weird, or no to the sex? - Maybe we should just - You're right.
Just concentrate on Figgis, and we'll figure this out later.
No, I was gonna say maybe we should talk, but yeah, it can wait till after Figgis.
We have the rest of our lives to talk.
Yeah, unless he kills us first.
What a weird joke.
Regret saying that one.
Wow, things are clickin'.
I'm gonna go make sure there's enough balls in in the ball pit.
Important to get on them balls.
What is wrong with me? So then Trevor sends me a text, and he's like, "At this point, I hate you.
" I'm like, "Oh, really? 'Cause you didn't hate me last week.
" Trevor sounds like a dog.
Right? God, I missed our daily dishes.
Me too.
I'm sorry I'm not reciprocating with "hot goss" of my own.
I'm just worried about the Nine-Nine.
Sir, they're gonna be fine.
They're my squad.
I should be there with them.
This is killing me.
Well, I'm not gonna let it.
Let's go.
But my wound, Gina.
Sir, with your brain and my body and my brain we make one unstoppable unit.
Now climb aboard, sir.
And let's go.
All right, everybody ready? Good.
Let's set this trap.
- Hello, Figgis.
- Peralta.
Congratulations on escaping prison.
Thank you.
Congrats on sucking.
You know, I'm bored.
I'd love to kill you tonight.
So where you hiding? Wouldn't you like you know? Round one.
You're never gonna find me.
I'm invisible.
Mommy, I won! I won a big pwize! Downtown! I'm everywhere, and I'm nowhere.
And I'm coming for you.
Peace out, loser.
He's at the Fun Zone.
Gear up.
This ends tonight.
Uh! - Ow! - Oh, sorry, babe.
What were you aiming for? Hey, got you a bag of Blue Rad-berry slushie for the swelling.
I would've just gotten ice, but a possum died in the ice machine.
- Cool.
- Yeah.
Why do we keep hurting each other? I don't know.
Maybe I'm overthinking it.
It just feels like we're not - On the same page.
- Clicking.
That was basically the same thing.
- I count that.
- Yeah.
Look, I know this isn't the right time for some big talk, but I just want us to be normal again.
Yeah, me too.
I hope you're a better kisser than Holt.
- What? - Why did I say that? Why did you kiss Holt? I didn't.
I did.
We did it to get out of jail, but it didn't mean anything.
Just forget I said anything, right? Rewind.
- And kiss.
- Jake You want to know if there was tongue.
I can tell you, decidedly there was not.
No, Jake.
Figgis is here.
Okay, well, good talk.
Don't die.
Holt had very soft lips.
Wish I hadn't said that one either.
- We should get into positions.
- Yeah, okay.
Hey, kill the lights! Figgis is here! Excuse me, ma'am, this dolly's being used.
Broccoli Che visto? It's being used.
Quanti erala Vito la Bella? Tutto matro lamente? Just bring it back when you're done.
Ah! Garbanzo marinara! Pizzería restaurante! Ahh! Jackpot.
Let's do this.
And how am I supposed to get all the way up there? Gracefully.
- Boost my bottom! - I'm boosting! Boost my bottom! I'm boosting! Boost it! Ah.
All right stick shift.
I can't drive stick shift.
You're gonna have to drive.
How? My leg doesn't work.
Sir, I am a dancer.
I will be your legs.
Clutch in.
- Okay.
- Clutch out.
- Oh! - Hoo-hoo! We are the best driver in the world! Spread out and find 'em.
Bogie headed to the ball pit.
Is that all you got? I'll take your best shot I'll take your best shot, I'll take your best shot! Boom - Here comes the.
Boom - Ready or not.
Here comes the boys from the South - Is that all you got? - I'll take your best shot.
- Well, it's all right - I'll take your best shot - I'll take your best shot - Boom.
Here comes the - Boom.
Ready or not, ha ha, how you like me now? Peralta Holt.
I know you're here.
I'm gonna kill you.
- I don't think so.
- Oh Put down the weapon, Figgis.
There you go.
Oh, yes.
I've been waiting for this moment a long time.
You ruined my life.
I had to live in Florida for six months! It's the worst.
Have you tried the pizza down here? Yeah, it's the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted.
It somehow burned my mouth and is cold at the same time.
But none of that changes the fact that you're about to go to prison for the rest of your life.
Drop it, Sherbert! What? No! I've been everywhere, and I finally spotted your minivan with the New York plates parked around back.
We already got all your friends.
So drop it.
You don't understand.
I'm a detective with the NYPD.
This is Jimmy Figgis; he's wanted by the FBI.
No, I'm Constantine Binvoglio, and I came here to repair a skee ball machine on the the fritz, but suddenly he's trying to kill me.
He's lying.
"Constantine Binvoglio.
" It's clearly a name he just made up.
I'm very impressed.
That was pretty good.
I will shoot you, Sherbert.
All right, fine, I will put down my weapon, but you have to promise me you will not let this man go.
Okay, well, we're gonna cuff everyone, and then we're gonna sort this all out.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, thanks, Sheriff.
No! Now let's me and you take a little walk.
How do you think you're getting out of this, Figgis? Do you even have a plan? I'm gonna hold you hostage to get away.
Then I'm gonna drive to a gas station where I'll steal a clean car and head for the airport, where I'll buy a ticket with my false ID, then kill you in the parking lot and disappear again.
You're scrambling.
Look, I told you, we're NYPD.
- Yeah, right.
- I can prove it.
Look up "Brooklyn detective attacked by birds.
" You'll see an article with a photo of me.
Officer down.
All available units respond.
I'm gonna give you a window, and you're gonna go after Jake.
My name is Detective Rosa Diaz, NYPD.
- Get back.
- I'm reaching for my badge.
Keep walking.
Let him go.
Put that gun down, or he dies.
He's not gonna shoot me.
He needs me alive to get out of here.
Yeah, you willing to take that bet? I wouldn't.
Now put the gun down.
Oh! You shot him! Are you okay? I'm sorry I shot you.
I thought that's what the nod meant.
It was.
It was awesome.
It was actually just like the end of "Speed," which is a pretty good movie.
It's not as good as "Die Hard.
" "Die Hard"'s perfect.
Okay, Jake, I'm gonna go after Figgis.
Yeah, I was gonna say, you should keep going after Figgis.
Same page, still.
Get out of the car! Young Jeezy take the wheel! Freeze, punk! Yeah, freeze, punk! Gina, where did you get that gun? Lost and found at the storage facility.
They have boxes of 'em.
They're everywhere.
Hey, Figgis.
My fiancé, Adrian Pimento, said when I caught you, I should read you this letter.
"I want to lick the skin off your body, baby.
" Oh, that side's for me.
"I want to rip the skin off your body, Jimmy.
" We're sorry we doubted you, sir.
You really saved our butts.
I can't take credit for that.
Gina Linetti is the real hero here.
But isn't Gina Linetti more of a state of mind? Like, in a way, we were all Gina Linetti today.
Gina, let's take this Gina to the hospital.
Hey, how's the sheriff? Well, he keeps yelling, "Disability for life!" So I think he's fine.
Also, Coral Palms PD found your marshal at Figgis's hideout, alive at well.
Oh, that's great.
How are you doing? Fine you know, just getting bandaged up.
Actually, can you give us a second? Thanks.
It hurts so bad.
I just didn't want to seem weak in front of EMT Craig.
So I know this is weird to say, because I just shot you, but it feels like we're back in sync now.
Yeah, I mean, as in sync as I've ever been with someone who just shot me.
I love you.
I love you too.
Hey, do you happen to know my blood type? Yeah.
B positive.
Well, guessed wrong.
Hey, Craig? Hey, Captain Stentley, we're back.
How was Florida? - It was fine.
- A lot of college girls.
Come on, man.
Now, before you say anything, I know we disobeyed a direct order.
Sergeant, relax, okay? Your friends were in trouble; you did what you had to do.
And now I got to do what I got to do.
Oh, no, a memorandum of admonishment? Much worse you're never gonna see the sun again.
Your families they're gonna forget your faces.
You'll eat lunch at dinnertime and dinner at breakfast.
And you'll Ah, what was I talking about? I totally lost my train.
- You were punishing us.
- Yes, thank you.
Ah! I'm transferring the whole squad to the night shift.
Noooo! Yes.