Clarence US (2014) s01e25 Episode Script
Patients
1 I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! And the winner is Clarence! - Whoo! Whoo! I won, I won! - Clarence, I said no racing.
Oh, sure, you say that now.
You're just a sore loser.
I've been saying it since I turned off the car.
Yeah, but you're saying it now.
Uh, Mary Wendle here to see Dr.
Kimble.
- Oh, I-I have to leave by 4:00.
- She has to go back to work.
Yes, Ms.
Wendle.
He'll be with you shortly.
- Thanks.
- My Mom hurts.
- Can you heal her with crystals? - Clarence, I'm fine.
I'm just here for my carpal tunnel syndrome.
I cut hair.
It never stops.
Especially when you have a freeloading friend like Sandy.
You know, you do something, you don't realize it's gonna - affect you down the line.
- Oh, Clarence.
Oh, my sweet boy.
I've been waiting for you.
- Clarence.
- The candy it needs me.
Yeah, sure it does.
Okay, tell you what.
You can have one piece.
When we leave, if you behave.
- Okay, come on, Clarence.
- Noooo! Nurse Tacker, can I have a piece of candy? - What does your mother say? - Whatever you want Tinia.
Here you go, angel.
- Mom, that Tinia girl got candy.
- Yes, she did.
I don't think that she is an angel at all.
Neither are you.
Hmm, got to use a different technique.
Slander isn't getting me anywhere.
Mm Ooh, I'll strike a bargain.
Yes, mothers love bargains.
Oh, mother, what if I were to have one piece now and then - one later when we leave? - No.
Say, Mom, what if I were to trade - you one potted plant for one - No.
- Mom, did you know that - No.
Clarence, you have to learn to entertain yourself while you're waiting for something.
Can you do that? - No.
- What? - Oh, uh, uh, probably.
- Then do it.
Worth a shot.
What's the point of this thing?! This is too easy! I need a real challenge.
Oh, Clarence.
Oh, my sweet boy.
Doing good.
Oh.
Got to check the map.
Oh, yeah.
Come on, Clarence.
You're getting too heavy for this! - Are we gonna be here forever? - It's only been five minutes.
- Really? - Really.
Come on, back to the seat.
- Peppermints, gumdrops, jawbreakers! - Quietly.
- Without moving.
- But, Mom! If I hear one more word out of you, you are not getting any candy, all right? You can breathe, Clarence.
Okay, no noise, no moving.
I can do that.
Just need to sit here and think.
Yeah, no problem.
No problem at all.
I can think, can't I? No, I can't! It's too hard! I-I gotta say something! I gotta do something! Help! Anybody, help! Stewart! Stewart! Stewart, do something! No, no, look at me! Wait, wait, what's going on here? My brain is like a cave! Hellooo! Wow, I'm in a creepy cave inside my head.
That's so cool.
Wait a second.
I'll just turn my cave into a beach! Or or outer space! Whoo! Wait a second.
Oh, man, I just got a great idea! Candy brain Oh, hello, giant gummy friend.
May I? Are you lost, gummy worm? Find your way into my mouth! Look! Oh, is this chocolate! I know we just met, candy brain, but I think I love you! Is that okay? - I hope it's okay.
- It's okay by me.
Ugh! Water.
- Whoa, are you made of all ice cream?! - I am the ice cream.
Wait a second.
I think I remember you! I was 6! You changed my life! - May I? - Not now! I'm here to help you pass the time in here so you can get candy out there.
Really? How am I supposed to do that? By showing you how to melt, of course.
Holy pie! That's amazing! - There's no way I could do that.
- Sure you can, pal! - Hornsby?! Is that you?! - Who else would it be?! - But how?! - This is your brain, pal.
- If you can think it, it can happen.
- Whoa! Okay, who do I want to meet? How about Viking ghost grandma? Grandma, there you are! You look beautiful! All right, fellas, I guess it's time to melt! - Sweet, I did it! Yes! - Told ya! I could stay here forev Ow! Hey, hey, who's throwing peanuts?! Not me.
I'm the ice cream.
What? Who Mary? - That's me.
I'll be right back.
- What? No, don't! I'm I'm coming with you, I'm coming with you! Clarence, will you stay here and keep me company, hmm? What do you mean "keep you company?" That's weird.
So, he will be able to see me before 4:00, right? Oh, of course.
He'll be right in.
- Huh?! What?! - So, you like candy, huh? - Yeah.
So? - Then why don't you have any candy? I only get it when we leave, and I'm not supposed - to talk, so don't talk to me! - That's too bad.
- Hey, you want some of my candy? - Really?! - Tinia, is that boy bothering you? - No, mother.
- He's behaving himself.
- Good.
So, are you gonna give me that candy or what? - Sure, I'll give you some.
- All right, give it.
Except we might be here a while.
I don't want to run out.
You won't run out, you won't run out! I-I promise! Come on, just give me some! I don't know.
There's a lot of people ahead of us.
Hmm, I can fix that! Wait a minute.
Candy - All in favor, say yes! - No! Viking horn wins! Candy Help, help, help, help! - What is it? - The toilet it's - it's clogged! - Again?! Oh, my! Your ticker is a champion! Go out and enjoy your life, you silly, young man! My prescription is to eat lots of cereal and just go for a run once in a while.
If you turn this off right now, you'll live.
Whew, busy day! All right, I think I treated everyone here.
But it turns out they all want to see a real doctor.
Except for that guy.
- So, candy? - Hmm maybe, for one more favor.
"So, whenever there's a breeze but before the bees can sneeze, Princess Pollen hands out tissues because the bees have allergies.
The end.
" - All right? - Could you sing it? Because the bees have allergi-i-i-i-es - That music's not final.
- Again? Allergi-i-i-is Just one more thing.
- There! - I love it! Please don't ask me to do anything else.
Whee! - Okay, are we good? - Yes, we're good.
- Ow! - Mom, can I have some more candy? That's nice, honey.
Pleasure doing business with ya.
- I'm sorry.
- For what? I don't know why I do stuff like this.
I just do.
What do you mean "stuff?" Stuff like what? - Mom, that boy took my candy! - What?! No, no, that's not what happened! - That's not what happened at all! - Zip it, mister! It's gonna be so long before you get candy again, you're gonna forget what it tastes like! Maybe that's enough candy for today! You don't want to do this, son.
Hand over the candy.
We can fix this! Candy fixes everything! - What are you doing, man?! - I don't know! - Then stop digging! - I can't! I just can't! But I definitely think chocolate is my favorite! Who's with me anybody? Not the candy! No! All right, I'm sorry.
I can't wait any longer! I have to get back to work! I'll call to reschedule! Forget the candy, Clarence.
Let's go.
Bye! I can keep appointments.
Why can't they?! Doctors they think they can keep the whole world waiting! Well, not this lady! Huh?! Sorry you had to sit there for nothing, honey.
Anytime, Mama! Right, guys? - Right! - Right! - Who are you talking to? - Uh, nobody! I am the ice cream.
Oh, sure, you say that now.
You're just a sore loser.
I've been saying it since I turned off the car.
Yeah, but you're saying it now.
Uh, Mary Wendle here to see Dr.
Kimble.
- Oh, I-I have to leave by 4:00.
- She has to go back to work.
Yes, Ms.
Wendle.
He'll be with you shortly.
- Thanks.
- My Mom hurts.
- Can you heal her with crystals? - Clarence, I'm fine.
I'm just here for my carpal tunnel syndrome.
I cut hair.
It never stops.
Especially when you have a freeloading friend like Sandy.
You know, you do something, you don't realize it's gonna - affect you down the line.
- Oh, Clarence.
Oh, my sweet boy.
I've been waiting for you.
- Clarence.
- The candy it needs me.
Yeah, sure it does.
Okay, tell you what.
You can have one piece.
When we leave, if you behave.
- Okay, come on, Clarence.
- Noooo! Nurse Tacker, can I have a piece of candy? - What does your mother say? - Whatever you want Tinia.
Here you go, angel.
- Mom, that Tinia girl got candy.
- Yes, she did.
I don't think that she is an angel at all.
Neither are you.
Hmm, got to use a different technique.
Slander isn't getting me anywhere.
Mm Ooh, I'll strike a bargain.
Yes, mothers love bargains.
Oh, mother, what if I were to have one piece now and then - one later when we leave? - No.
Say, Mom, what if I were to trade - you one potted plant for one - No.
- Mom, did you know that - No.
Clarence, you have to learn to entertain yourself while you're waiting for something.
Can you do that? - No.
- What? - Oh, uh, uh, probably.
- Then do it.
Worth a shot.
What's the point of this thing?! This is too easy! I need a real challenge.
Oh, Clarence.
Oh, my sweet boy.
Doing good.
Oh.
Got to check the map.
Oh, yeah.
Come on, Clarence.
You're getting too heavy for this! - Are we gonna be here forever? - It's only been five minutes.
- Really? - Really.
Come on, back to the seat.
- Peppermints, gumdrops, jawbreakers! - Quietly.
- Without moving.
- But, Mom! If I hear one more word out of you, you are not getting any candy, all right? You can breathe, Clarence.
Okay, no noise, no moving.
I can do that.
Just need to sit here and think.
Yeah, no problem.
No problem at all.
I can think, can't I? No, I can't! It's too hard! I-I gotta say something! I gotta do something! Help! Anybody, help! Stewart! Stewart! Stewart, do something! No, no, look at me! Wait, wait, what's going on here? My brain is like a cave! Hellooo! Wow, I'm in a creepy cave inside my head.
That's so cool.
Wait a second.
I'll just turn my cave into a beach! Or or outer space! Whoo! Wait a second.
Oh, man, I just got a great idea! Candy brain Oh, hello, giant gummy friend.
May I? Are you lost, gummy worm? Find your way into my mouth! Look! Oh, is this chocolate! I know we just met, candy brain, but I think I love you! Is that okay? - I hope it's okay.
- It's okay by me.
Ugh! Water.
- Whoa, are you made of all ice cream?! - I am the ice cream.
Wait a second.
I think I remember you! I was 6! You changed my life! - May I? - Not now! I'm here to help you pass the time in here so you can get candy out there.
Really? How am I supposed to do that? By showing you how to melt, of course.
Holy pie! That's amazing! - There's no way I could do that.
- Sure you can, pal! - Hornsby?! Is that you?! - Who else would it be?! - But how?! - This is your brain, pal.
- If you can think it, it can happen.
- Whoa! Okay, who do I want to meet? How about Viking ghost grandma? Grandma, there you are! You look beautiful! All right, fellas, I guess it's time to melt! - Sweet, I did it! Yes! - Told ya! I could stay here forev Ow! Hey, hey, who's throwing peanuts?! Not me.
I'm the ice cream.
What? Who Mary? - That's me.
I'll be right back.
- What? No, don't! I'm I'm coming with you, I'm coming with you! Clarence, will you stay here and keep me company, hmm? What do you mean "keep you company?" That's weird.
So, he will be able to see me before 4:00, right? Oh, of course.
He'll be right in.
- Huh?! What?! - So, you like candy, huh? - Yeah.
So? - Then why don't you have any candy? I only get it when we leave, and I'm not supposed - to talk, so don't talk to me! - That's too bad.
- Hey, you want some of my candy? - Really?! - Tinia, is that boy bothering you? - No, mother.
- He's behaving himself.
- Good.
So, are you gonna give me that candy or what? - Sure, I'll give you some.
- All right, give it.
Except we might be here a while.
I don't want to run out.
You won't run out, you won't run out! I-I promise! Come on, just give me some! I don't know.
There's a lot of people ahead of us.
Hmm, I can fix that! Wait a minute.
Candy - All in favor, say yes! - No! Viking horn wins! Candy Help, help, help, help! - What is it? - The toilet it's - it's clogged! - Again?! Oh, my! Your ticker is a champion! Go out and enjoy your life, you silly, young man! My prescription is to eat lots of cereal and just go for a run once in a while.
If you turn this off right now, you'll live.
Whew, busy day! All right, I think I treated everyone here.
But it turns out they all want to see a real doctor.
Except for that guy.
- So, candy? - Hmm maybe, for one more favor.
"So, whenever there's a breeze but before the bees can sneeze, Princess Pollen hands out tissues because the bees have allergies.
The end.
" - All right? - Could you sing it? Because the bees have allergi-i-i-i-es - That music's not final.
- Again? Allergi-i-i-is Just one more thing.
- There! - I love it! Please don't ask me to do anything else.
Whee! - Okay, are we good? - Yes, we're good.
- Ow! - Mom, can I have some more candy? That's nice, honey.
Pleasure doing business with ya.
- I'm sorry.
- For what? I don't know why I do stuff like this.
I just do.
What do you mean "stuff?" Stuff like what? - Mom, that boy took my candy! - What?! No, no, that's not what happened! - That's not what happened at all! - Zip it, mister! It's gonna be so long before you get candy again, you're gonna forget what it tastes like! Maybe that's enough candy for today! You don't want to do this, son.
Hand over the candy.
We can fix this! Candy fixes everything! - What are you doing, man?! - I don't know! - Then stop digging! - I can't! I just can't! But I definitely think chocolate is my favorite! Who's with me anybody? Not the candy! No! All right, I'm sorry.
I can't wait any longer! I have to get back to work! I'll call to reschedule! Forget the candy, Clarence.
Let's go.
Bye! I can keep appointments.
Why can't they?! Doctors they think they can keep the whole world waiting! Well, not this lady! Huh?! Sorry you had to sit there for nothing, honey.
Anytime, Mama! Right, guys? - Right! - Right! - Who are you talking to? - Uh, nobody! I am the ice cream.