Clarence US (2014) s02e33 Episode Script

Fishing Trip

1 [remote clicks.]
[upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Music.]
Hyuh! Oh! Hyuh! Hey, Sumo.
What are you doing? Helping my dad fix his crawdaddy cages.
Whoa.
What's a "crawdaddy?" They're like bugs that live underwater.
- Taste good, though.
- Actually, it's a type of crusta Hey, Mel.
Thanks for watching Clarence today.
- Put your hand right there for me.
- Oh, yeah.
Sure.
Aah! Tried getting the boy to help me, but you know how kids are.
They got to have their own way of doing things.
[Chuckles.]
Do'h! [Chuckles.]
Hello.
Look at their faces in the cage.
Oh, yeah.
Kids.
So, um, what is this, anyway? Crawdad trap.
My own design.
Whoa.
Sumo, are these your dad's toys? That right there ain't no toy.
It's for catching fish.
Yeah, I never done that.
My mom usually gets fish sticks at Food Nephews.
- Aah! Owie.
- You never took your boy fishin'? Oh, well, uh You know.
[Sniffs.]
- Ugh.
- I went fishing last week.
Actually, it wasn't fishing.
It was a nature walk in Sedona.
At the end, my mom got me this! A multipurpose Gator tool! It's got a toothpick.
Fishing sounds so fun.
Sumo! Go get the fishin' poles out of the garage.
We're takin' these boys to the river and showing them what fishing's all about.
[Spray hissing.]
[Sniffs.]
Ahh.
No bugs.
But, Mother, I do not wish to marry him.
Silence, missy! [Both laugh.]
Um, wait.
Um, logistically Um All right, now, if we split up, we'll catch more fish.
Hey, Mel, are we gonna maybe eat or something? We eat whatever we catch.
[Gasps.]
Chad, you take Sumo and the other one.
Other one? Clarence, since this is your first time out there, you'll be in good hands with me.
That's fine.
Sure.
Here.
I got it.
Whoa.
Uh, Chad.
This boat is small, and you're not.
Oh, and Sumo, just try to keep the boat from sinking.
What?! I can whip these guys into shape.
[Laughs.]
How about a little wager? If I catch more fish, you have to wash all my dogs.
[Scoffs.]
Well, it's not gonna happen 'cause if I win, I get to trash sled around the yard as long as I want! All right.
You got yourself a deal.
- Deal.
- Hmm.
Mm.
Bye! Have fun! Come on, Clarence.
All right, now, first thing's first [Blowing raspberries.]
Okay, everyone take out your fishing poles, I think, and, uh, this twine here is what the fish will grab.
- Ugh.
- I packed some fresh granola - if anybody wants any.
- Um, hold on.
Wait.
Hey, you sure there are crawdaddies around here? No rocks for them hide under.
No seaweed stuff for them to eat.
Actually, seaweed is in saltwater and algae [Groans.]
All right, listen up.
We're looking for bass and crawdaddies today.
Anything smaller than this stick, throw it back.
We are filling this whole boat with fish.
[Chuckles.]
That's a lot of fish! [Pan flute plays.]
Hm.
- So, what's it like being Sumo's daddy? - Shh.
We're fishing.
- What happened to your hand? - Dog nicked it.
Do you miss your other kids? - What? - 'Cause they're all at home.
Are you gonna keep all your kids? - What are you talking - I brought some sammiches for the fish in case they get hungry.
[Groans.]
First, you got to really get down in there and look around.
[Gurgling.]
You got to show them your face before they'll let you catch 'em.
Who's next? - Uhh - Uh - Come on, Chad.
- What? Let's go.
You first.
[Chuckles nervously.]
Come on.
I don't No, I Oh, geez, you're strong.
Ow, ow.
[Chuckles.]
[Panting.]
How about we use the fishing gear that's actually made for fishing? Oh.
[Bird squawks.]
Aah! Ow! Ow! That's right, Jeff! Show it your face! [Laughs.]
[Gasps.]
A sandwich! Aww.
Mel: All right, Clarence, now, to cast your line, you got to pull her back, thumb on the spool, then gently let her loose like so.
See? Pretty simple.
Here.
Now give it a try.
[Groans.]
Hyah! That's okay.
We'll try that again.
- Hyah! - Now, you just you gave it a little too much there.
Try that again.
- Hyah.
- Okay.
Now, you did something right and something wrong.
[Gurgling.]
Here fishy, fishy.
Come and get me! [Grunting.]
Well, looks like you've got things pretty under control over here.
Hey.
Everything okay over here, bud? [Chuckles.]
I'm still making a few extra adjustments.
No reward goes to the unprepared angler, as they say.
[Giggles.]
Okay, well, you know, Jeff, I was just checking in.
Things we don't know about our children's friends, huh? Wow.
- Mr.
Sumo's dad! I did it! - Hey.
Great job, kid.
I What in the world.
That's a little far, Clarence.
Why don't you reel 'er back in and try again? [Chuckles.]
- Oh, no.
No, no.
- Come on.
Dunk your head in! No, Sumo! Stop.
Why are you such a lunatic? Come on! You've never even been fishin'! Uh, hey.
Come on, guys.
Huh? Aah! [Screaming.]
Aah! The fish! They're trying to eat him! Oh, boy.
Looks like you caught a biggin'.
[Groans.]
Almost got it.
[Groaning.]
Come here, fish.
You're just being stubborn.
[Rip!.]
Chad: Aah! Whoo-wee! Let's see what we got here.
I think it might have been a baby shark or something.
Hmm.
Must be some old clump of bear fur or something.
[Screaming.]
- Chad! - A-ha! I'll use my tape measure.
Grab onto this, Chad! [Screaming continues.]
Put that stupid toy away, Jeff! - Chad, grab this! - [Thud.]
Aah! [Panting.]
[Sighs.]
Oh, man.
That was a close one.
Thanks, guys.
[Gasps.]
Especially you, Sumo.
What? Is there something on my face? Aah! [Sighs.]
[Groans.]
[Chuckles.]
I guess I haven't showered in a few days, so [Gags.]
Musk of a man.
[Ticking.]
Ohh Mel: Well, shoot.
Somebody must've already fished this area today.
That's it.
Let's try upstream.
Maybe it's 'cause the food is too boring.
Got to spice it up.
My mom says that that every meal should be like a rainbow with all the colors put together.
So, you know, it's got all the good stuff.
I have a set method.
It always works.
I guess always, except for now, and you're gonna lose that bet to Sumo, who's your son.
[Groans.]
[Music.]
Some of that.
- Hyah! - Oh, wait! Now, hold on just a minute.
What are you doing? That's not bait for crawdads.
Certain fish need certain bait.
Now, a crawdad Well, I'll be darned.
[Chuckles.]
See? Crawdads need rainbows, too.
Hmm.
Go ahead.
Do it again, Clarence.
Okay.
One more! One more! [Muffled screaming.]
One last one! [Laughs.]
[Music.]
Aah! [Laughing.]
Oh! [Both laughing.]
[Both laughing.]
- Yeah! - Oh, Sumo.
[Gasps.]
Wow.
Hmm.
[Chuckles.]
[Grunts.]
[Laughter.]
[Growls.]
[Screaming.]
- Stop! Stop! - Give him whatever he wants! [Screaming continues.]
He's gonna get us! Sumo: Give him the fish! Give him the fish! - Oh, no! - Aah! Oh, my! [Sighs.]
I got to hand it to you, Sumo.
You're a lot like your dad.
You scare me, but you get results.
[Both slurp.]
[Both sigh.]
[Chuckles.]
You're a good kid, Clarence.
I'm glad your Sumo's little friend or whatever.
- Clarence: Bye, friends.
- Huh? Hope you liked your lunch! What are you [Sighs.]
Oh, man.
[Grunts.]
Hey, man.
I just want to say thank you, you know, for bring me out here with the boys.
It was just great to just, you know, - get on the water, you know? - Uh, you bet, man.
Ha-ah! What happened to your head? [Laughs.]
- D'oh! - So, Dad, how about the bet? How many fish did you catch? - Oh, well, actually, we - Well, no fish for us.
- I guess it just wasn't our day.
- Wait.
I won the bet! I won! I won! [Chuckles.]
That's right, Sumo.
Well, I guess it's garbage-sledding time.
[Sumo laughing.]
[Dogs barking.]
[Chuckles.]
He's still gonna have to wash all them dogs.

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