Cold Feet (1997) s06e01 Episode Script
Series 6, Episode 1
1 Taxi! I'm a patient man But what do I have to do? I scoured the waves for a song You're already whistling my tune So long Must have scoured the world for a heart That I know to be beating in you What do I have to do? OK.
Adam! - Give us a hand.
- I've only got one free.
Come here.
[There.
.]
Here.
Wait! Go! What do I have to do? Days gather into years Days gather into years Days are gatherin' into years Oh, yeah Chloe, kitchen! Jen, love, Adam's online! Ooh, here you go, love.
Stick 'em in the kitchen for me.
Hello! Hi.
Listen, the news here is that, erm - .
.
Angela and I aren't going out any more.
- Oh.
Thank you.
- Come on.
Cough up.
- All right.
- What are you doing? - If you dump your girlfriend within six months, I pay a fiver.
- Nice (!) Straight into the kids' college fund.
Adam sorted.
- Moving on to Chloe.
- It's our six-month anniversary today.
- Oh.
- What are the rules on that, then? - I didn't dump her.
- She dumped you? - That's unusually discerning.
- That's a first.
- Look, shut up and listen.
The reason why we're not going out any more is because .
.
we're getting married.
Here, has the erm? Has the picture frozen? - Well, we had to expect it would happen one day.
- Adam marrying? - It's way too soon.
- Jen, it's 14 years since Rachel died.
- Six months! I mean, he hardly knows how to pronounce her name.
- Angela? Zubayr, or something.
- Are you going to the wedding? - Of course.
Why wouldn't we? Do you know how much a flight to Singapore costs? Not in economy, no.
I always go business.
Anyway, we'll use air miles.
I've got plenty.
I'm very pleased for you, David.
And Robyn.
Girls, your father's here! Robyn won't want to take the time off work.
No, I thought that we might go together.
You don't think she'd mind you whisking your ex off business-class to Singapore? - Hi, Liv.
Hi, Ellie.
- Hi.
- Dad.
- Robyn will be fine with it.
Right, then.
Singapore.
Well? Did you break it to him? I didn't think the timing was right so I'll tell him when I see him.
Oh, Pete, look, that is the point.
You know, we can't afford the trip.
Well, he's coming over Wednesday, just for a couple of days.
Adam is? Really? Why? Oh, you didn't think to ask, did you? Well, is he bringing this Angela with him? No? Nothing? Right, let's try an easy one.
What time does his plane get in, love? - 5:30.
- Great.
I'll pick him up.
A-M.
Or you can.
Mwah! Denis Law! - Hello, mate.
- Hey.
- Mm.
- Here, for you.
- Really? - Mm.
- Ooh.
Single malt.
Thanks.
It's evaporation.
- Have you lost weight? - No.
Have you got more hair? No.
Maybe.
- No, wait, wait.
Not that one.
- Come on! Oh, yeah.
Got it.
I love that photo.
- Ooh! - Have you not got a more recent one? That is recent.
Ooh.
Well, she's young, isn't she? Not really.
She's 30.
Oh, wow! 18 years younger than you! It's just a number.
- Mwah! - Yeah.
18! - So where did you two meet? - Oh, it was very romantic.
- Tinder? - No, not this time.
I was on my way into work.
You know, fed up with the daily commute when I happened to get talking to this woman beside me.
The last 14 years, I've lived all over the world.
Hong Kong, Dubai, Seattle, now here in Singapore.
Sounds glamorous, eh? But it doesn't really matter where you are.
There's always that moment where the exotic becomes the mundane.
The adventure, the daily grind.
I want a life where the novelty never wears off.
I know exactly what you mean.
That was all she said.
It was all she had to say.
It was love at first sight.
Well, quicker than that, cos I hadn't clapped eyes on her yet.
- Well, how did you find out who she was? - Ah! This is the Irish guy from the ferry.
I was wondering are you free for dinner tonight? I thought meeting her would be an anti-climax, but .
.
it was just the opposite.
- A climax? - No, that was the second time.
And six months later, you're getting married! Yeah, moving in together to this fantastic apartment that we found.
Well, Angela found.
Do she and Matthew get on? I'm sure they will.
They haven't met? No They speak online.
Now he's saying he doesn't want to come to the wedding.
That's why I'm over here, to try and talk some sense into him.
- Oh, he's a teenager.
Good luck with that, old pal.
- I know.
Well, congratulations.
- We're all delighted for you.
- Yeah.
Well, I hope you'll be as happy as I thought me and Jenny were gonna be.
Me and Karen too.
Yeah, well How was your flight? It was good.
Pete met me at the airport.
Something of a surprise.
- Where are you parked? - Got a cab.
Ah.
God, it's Baltic.
- I'll do the big one.
- Ah, thanks.
Didsbury, please, mate.
Hi.
Are you all right? Did I mention I'd been laid off? - About a year ago.
- Still, things are looking up.
I've got two jobs now.
- What's the other one? - Carer.
Wiping old people's arses.
Pay's not great, but the job satisfaction more than makes up for it.
- Really? - No.
Care to join me upfront? Oh, God, yeah.
What do you mean, you didn't know? You talk for hours online.
What the hell do you talk about? - United.
- And City.
- Mm.
Important stuff.
So what do you reckon? Well, it's a madness, isn't it? I mean, he's clearly infatuated.
I mean, you can't blame him.
She's young and sexy and he's neither, frankly.
Aye-aye.
What are we whispering about? Adam, we think you might have lost your mind.
- I didn't say that.
- No, I did, but you were thinking it.
There is quite an age gap and you haven't known each other long.
Well, yes, you're right, of course.
But you're also wrong.
Do you know how many people I've been out with since Rachel died? - Well -- - None, for the first two years.
Two years! After that, names too numerous to mention, - but you know what they all had in common? - Ooh, er They were all born in the '80s? That is true, some of them were, but none of them were Rachel.
- Of course they couldn't be.
- None of them came close.
Nowhere near.
But Angela, she's Whoa! You'll see when you meet her.
Adam, have you actually talked to Pete about the wedding? I don't know how to say this, but - You want to know if you're my best man? - No, it's not that.
Of course you are.
- Am I? - Well, I'm hardly gonna ask David, am I? So will you do it? Again? I promise I'll make a better speech this time.
Good lad.
- Oh, for God's sake! - What? OK, Adam, we can't come to your wedding.
I mean, we'd love to, but we don't have the cash.
- Well, I'll pay for your flights.
- Oh, don't say that.
- At least not to Pete.
He's down on himself -- - But you've got to come.
He's my best man.
He's my best mate.
- If he can't, it'll have to be David! - I'm just saying - Hiya.
- Hey.
Do you know what? Actually, I have to go.
- I'm due at this Air B&B place.
- I'll give you a lift.
- Mate's rates.
- Hey, hey, you've had a drink.
No, lend him your car.
- What? - Go on, then.
- Oh.
All right.
There you go.
I want it back, crack of dawn.
- All right.
It is so great to see you, to share my good news with you.
- I know - Mwah! - .
.
how pleased you are.
Goodbye.
That's a car crash waiting to happen.
I hope not.
It's my car.
Five That was quick.
- Sorry? - I've only just rung.
OK.
Bottom of the road, turn left.
Oh, I see.
You think that I'm There's a chemist a couple of minutes away.
Well, come on.
I've got to get back.
Come on.
OK.
It's great to see Adam so happy.
So loved-up as the girls might say.
He sends his regards.
Sorry you couldn't join us.
You might be able to drop everything, David, I can't, not if I want to come to the wedding.
You want to come to the wedding? Mini break in Singapore? I'm not gonna miss that.
Oh, God! I was pinged by that speed camera.
On the A56? I told you you were driving too fast.
Well, point to you, Robyn.
That's three to me, which brings me to 12.
- I'm going to be banned.
- Perhaps you'll be more careful next time.
Which, unless you have grounds for appeal, will be in six months.
- How many points have you got? - None.
I'm a careful driver.
So, erm - So, you could take these for me? - What? Photo's bound to be fuzzy.
They won't know who's at the wheel.
- I can't do that.
I'm a lawyer.
- Divorce lawyer.
I'd still be struck off and sent to prison.
No, David.
You did the crime, you do the time.
Right.
Home, James.
Shouldn't really be out.
- Are you not well? - Just a touch of thrush (!) No, I'm supposed to wait in for someone.
He's renting this apartment I own.
Sounds like a bit of a tosser, to be honest.
- What gives you that impression? - The tone of his e-mails.
"Please find attached, my itinerary.
" - Who speaks like that? - Someone who's articulate.
He's an ex-pat from Singapore.
I bet he's a banker-wanker.
Or he works in IT.
A lot of them do, apparently.
I just hope I get there before he does.
Photo-finish, I reckon.
Well, what do I owe you? A medical emergency, no charge.
Oh, no, I can't do that.
No, no, no.
Can't have you thinking all men are wankers.
Thank you.
Pleasure.
Didn't I mention? I'm the wanker from Singapore.
Look, I'm sorry about that, I hadn't a clue.
- Oh, well, I didn't give you one.
- No, you didn't.
So this is you.
Holy shit.
- Thank you.
- Spare keys, details for the alarm.
I live directly across the hall, in case there's any complaints.
No, I'm sure I won't have any.
Apart from the "wanker" comment.
Thank you, sir.
- Dad! - Baby boy! Hey! Hello.
Wow, son.
Hey, what about your godmum? - Hello, darling.
- Hello.
Hello.
Every time I see you, I see your mum.
- We're talking about my wedding.
- I've told you, it's the school play.
- Well, you can skip one performance.
- It's the last night.
So do some earlier in the week, then fly to Singapore.
No, I can't let people down and I'd miss the cast party.
What? Whoa! Whoa! Sorry, is this about letting people down or missing a party? Jesus, Matt! What part are you playing? Nancy.
- Nancy? - Bill Sykes's girlfriend.
- Yeah, I know who she is, - I'm just a little surprised they've cast you.
- It's an all-boys' school.
- It's a good role.
I get to die.
- No, no, no.
Proud as I am that my son is playing the female lead, we're talking about my wedding! - It's a big thing for me.
- Well, it isn't for me.
I hardly even know Oh Angela! You'll get to know her when you come to the wedding.
- I've flown halfway round the world to talk to you.
- You could've phoned.
- That's how important you are to me.
- Why not let me do what I want? - I don't want to come to your wedding.
- Well, I don't care.
- You're coming.
- I'm not and you can't make me! - How long do you think they'll let you stay when I stop paying the bills? - Adam! - Keep out of this.
You're 15 years old.
You'll do what you're told.
- Matt, stop walking away from me.
- Shut up.
Shut? What? Well, that went well (!) So he'll be there, then? Pete? No.
But Matthew will, with a face like a slapped arse reminding me how much I've ruined his life.
Kids! - See you in a couple of weeks.
- I look forward to it.
I'm already working on my speech.
Great.
I hate goodbyes, so I'm just gonna go.
Come here.
Jenny, Jen-Jen.
He is making a terrible mistake and he knows it.
Just smile and wave.
Yay! - I need a word.
Do you have time for a coffee? - Yeah.
Ooh, coffee, yeah.
Why not? I might even treat myself to an Irish.
- Tell me about it, I won't be able to sleep either.
- Rachel! Rachel! Stay still.
I'm gonna get some help.
Stay there.
David shouldn't be his best man.
He isn't, he's his second-best man.
Coming through.
Out of the way! So, a slight hitch with the flights.
Robyn wants to come after all, business-class, which uses up all my points.
So I'm afraid I'm afraid you're going to have to pay for yourself.
Oh, you're going to have to make your own way to the airport.
I'm about to be banned from driving.
What? Mind your backs, please! Well, we should do this again sometime.
What, meet at the airport for coffee (?) You know, get together.
Come for dinner.
Robyn would love that.
Would that be before you two go to Singapore? Feeling Alright Adam? So you had a fall.
I fell.
Old people have falls.
- Off a travelator.
- I was distracted, all right? What by? Erm I thought you'd had a heart attack.
Why would you think that? I was wearing a neck brace.
As a result of the fall, after your heart attack.
- It was an accident.
They happen.
- Well, not really at airports.
Mind you, we did see a documentary about that, didn't we? What was it? When Travelators Attack (?) Oh, brilliant.
- His dad's sense of humour.
Very funny.
- OK.
So just to get this straight, OK.
You didn't have a heart attack.
- Concussion.
They're just keeping me in to run a few tests.
- Right.
- I'd better let Angela know -- - You haven't let - That's what I asked you to do.
- .
.
that it wasn't a heart attack.
- You told her I had a heart attack? - It seemed the logical explanation.
- You know, a man of your age.
- She'll be sat at home, worried sick.
Well, that is where you're wrong, because she is on a plane right now to Manchester.
- What? - Oh, good.
I didn't think we'd get to meet her.
Wh? Whoa.
Wait.
Er No, of course I don't mind.
I'd ask Pete or Jen, but they're both working.
- She could get a cab, I suppose.
- Adam, as your best man, I can't allow that.
Now - How do you spell her surname? - Thanks.
- Z - Yeah? - .
.
U-B - Uh-huh.
.
.
A-Y-R.
Right.
Gosh.
That would be a nightmare hand at Scrabble.
No.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
- He's in here.
- Thank you.
[OK.
.]
Wha? Who? Oh, my God.
I thought you were dead! No, no, no, I'm not dead.
- So it wasn't a heart attack? - No, no, it was just, er - A bump on the head.
- A You spoke to Pete.
You're very funny.
Come here, you.
Hello.
- Come on.
Mm.
- Mm.
Did David not come in with you? - David? - My friend, he picked you up at the airport.
Angela mistook me for her driver! Chauffeur, you were better-dressed.
Funnily enough, that happened to me the other day.
Happens to me all the time.
Trouble is, it's true.
Gives you an anecdote for your speech, eh? I wouldn't do that.
Not at the bride's expense.
I'm just going to check on the food.
- I'll give you a hand.
- Thanks.
She is lovely.
David, er, you must have plenty of air miles, eh? Yes, enough for two business-class flights to Singapore.
Why? Can I have a word? - Well, she seems really nice.
- Well, she seems really nice! - Of course she is.
She wants to make a good impression.
- She has on Adam.
- He's in love.
- I have to admit, I'm falling a little bit myself.
Aw! Sad, middle-aged man.
- Him and you.
- He's happy, Jen.
- Why wouldn't he be? Oh Erm, she's 18 years younger than him.
That's my point.
- He's making a fool of himself.
- Oh, will you just leave him be? He is old enough to make his own mistakes.
Don't you think that Rachel would want us to say something? Ta-dah! Don't You Find? - Women bring food.
- That some of the time There is always someone on your mind That shouldn't be at all, In any place or any kind? I do like Angela, I must say.
That was obvious, the way your tongue was lolling on the carpet.
Seeing everybody together, I suddenly had a rather good idea for Adam's wedding present.
Now, hear me out on this.
See, Pete and Jenny can't afford the trip.
No.
I hear he's driving a taxi.
Imagine! Well, I have enough air miles to fly them both to Singapore.
Business-class, with us? Well, no.
If we take Karen too, we can all go together, in economy.
Why would we take Karen? Because of the favour she's doing me.
Why were you driving so fast? I was listening to ELO, which always gets me revved up.
- Thanks to Mr Blue Sky, I have to ferry the girls for six months.
- There you are.
- Thank you.
- Well Not unless I can find someone who'll say that they were driving.
Karen's agreed to swear a false stat dec for you? Out of self-interest.
I thought you'd be pleased.
Delighted to be cast as the woman who won't stand by her husband while his ex-wife will (!) Now you want to fly her to Singapore? Well, don't you think it'll be fun? You know, the five of us having our own little party in the air? In economy? I'd rather have a flat bed, but go ahead.
Squander your air miles.
I shall be at the pointy end of the plane.
OK, deep breaths.
- Adam, I'm not nervous.
- I meant me.
Keep going! Go on, Adam! - Well done, mate.
- Thanks.
- Well done.
You played well.
- All right, Matt? - Hi, Dad.
- Look.
In the flesh: Angela.
I think you'd better call me Mum, don't you? I'm kidding.
It's good to properly meet you, Matthew.
I prefer Matt, Mum.
Mr Williams, do you have a moment? Erm, yeah.
- Do you like it here? - Yeah.
Yeah, it's great.
"Williams" a knob.
All right, lads.
- Girl! - Girl! - Fool! The place that we're going to be living in is in this great part of Singapore.
And your room, when you come and visit is, er I guess it must be a bit odd for you: me and your dad.
- No, a lot of the boys have stepmums.
- Oh, yeah? - Do they get on with them? - No.
Well, I hope we will.
Erm, you're a bit different.
You mean I'm not trying to replace your mum? I think he means you're a lot younger than them.
One of the boys thought you were the au pair.
Is that a good thing? - Yeah, au pairs are hot.
- Oi! You little bollocks.
You are in big trouble, Matthew.
- It's nothing.
The school are being stupid.
- Dealing drugs? - Nos.
It's not illegal.
- Laughing gas? All the kids are doing it.
It's harmless.
People have died, Matthew! Karen said you'd kick off.
- You knew about this? - I am the school's first point of contact.
- You didn't think to tell me? - It didn't seem worth bothering you with.
- He's threatened with expulsion! - It's not that big a big deal, is it? - What?! - Come on.
When you were young, you didn't do any laughing gas? - Worse.
- Me too.
He's threatened with expulsion! - If he does it again.
- So you won't, will you? - No.
- There you go.
Problem sorted.
- I thought parenting would be a lot harder.
- Well, it can be.
Sorry.
Are you still annoyed with me? I'm trying to be.
Karen told me that Matt doesn't want to come to our wedding.
- Not because of you.
- And Pete and Jenny can't.
No.
- I don't think we should get married -- - What? - .
.
in Singapore.
Your friends have to be there and your son's got to want to be there.
If they won't come to the wedding, then let's bring the wedding to them.
Have it here, in Manchester? - What about your friends? - Oh, they'll come, don't worry.
Any excuse for a party.
You are wonderful, do you know that? It doesn't hurt to be reminded.
Your moving the wedding back home has saved me a fortune in air fares.
Literally why we did it, David.
Must have cost you though, all those lost deposits.
Angela's dad's paying.
Small change to him.
- His name's not Eddie, is it? - Yeah.
Do you know him? There must be more than one Eddie Zubayr in the world.
Not worth 300 million quid, there aren't.
What, that's him? What, that is him? Yeah.
I'll get these.
Bit of luck, then, your accident at the airport? How do you mean? - It means we can all go to the wedding.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I suppose that's true.
You can keep a secret? - I can start.
- The reason the accident happened, er, I was at the airport.
Someone shouted out, "Rachel!" And then I saw her.
- Who? - Rachel.
- Rachel? - Someone that looked like her.
I mean, it stopped me in my tracks and the next thing I know, I'm getting mouth-to-mouth from a paramedic with halitosis.
Well, this is like the old times.
The three amigos back in the saddle.
Three amigos.
- So, Eddie Zubayr! - Yeah.
- Well, will he be coming over for the wedding? - Yeah.
- He's arriving next week.
He's got some deal he's working on.
- Really? Oh.
Well, perhaps I should meet him at the airport.
- What, as a business opportunity? - I suppose it could be, but I meant more as your best man.
David, erm, on that Since the wedding's gonna be here .
.
do you mind if I reinstate Pete? Pete? No, no, of course not, no.
I was going to suggest it myself.
Three amigos.
- Three amigos.
- Three amigos.
Oh, all right, love.
- Hiya.
- Listen, er - Any chance of extending my stay? - Manchester? This time of year? Yeah.
All right.
How long for? A couple of days? Er, maybe a few weeks.
- There's been a change of plan.
- Mm.
You're looking well.
David .
.
I've parked in short-stay.
Good.
You can pick your car up later.
Here.
- Oh, I'm not dressing up.
- Oh, Pete, please.
I was gonna fly you to Singapore.
I stood down so you could be best man.
(All right.
) Here.
Ah, here he is.
Ah.
Welcome to Manchester.
Mr Marsden, your knowledge of Islamic customs is exemplary.
And I must confess, completely exhausted.
Let me take this.
The car is this way.
So, how was your flight? So what do you think? - That you shouldn't be getting married.
- Oh, shut up.
- Here, look.
- Needs to be tighter in the back.
- Tighter in the back.
- Mm.
I just don't understand why you are.
Because Angela's only got six months to live.
Oh, my God! That's not true, I just said it to shut you up.
- Adam, seriously! - Oi, what? Jen! - Do you remember what it's like to fall in love, eh? - Well, vaguely.
You know, the agony when he doesn't call, the ecstasy when he does.
- Sorry, is this Pete we're talking about? - Oh, yeah.
Well, that's what it's like for me with Ange.
That's cos it's early days, you know, the first flush of romance.
You don't get married off that.
You wait till it's passed and then see if you can still stand the sight of each other.
Well, we can.
Sorry.
And as daft as it sounds, she makes me feel -- - Like dancing (!) - No, alive.
That's not gonna change.
It's who she is.
She's constantly surprising.
We had this argument in Singapore about the best restaurant to eat in.
I guarantee you won't have tasted better food.
I know where you're taking me and you're right.
- You won't know this one.
- Listen, I've lived here three years.
I know everywhere.
Even places that haven't opened.
And this, this is my favourite.
This way.
What? What is that? I thought that was Oh, I love you.
I love you too.
Let's get married.
And when she said that, I didn't think, "Well, that's mental!" - I just said, "Yes!" - Except it is mental.
Maybe it will work, maybe it won't but, while it does, I'll feel alive and after Rachel, I never thought I would again.
I know you're having doubts.
What? I I know what put Adam in hospital.
- I'll kill him.
I will kill him.
- You saw Rachel.
No, I saw someone that looked like Rachel.
- Happen often, does it? - All the time in the first couple of years after she died.
- Since then? - Not once in the last ten years, but -- You see, you know deep inside that Rachel wouldn't give this marriage her blessing.
- It was an accident.
- There is no such thing.
- What? - It's your subconscious and you know it.
- Stop it.
That's why you didn't want Pete to blab.
Except, subconsciously you did, cos you wanted me to talk you out of it.
- Jen, what is your problem? - I just think you're gonna get hurt and I don't want to ever see that happen again cos .
.
cos I care about you, OK.
A lot.
- I love you, Jen.
- Hm! And I love Angela.
Where's he gone? Drink up, we're leaving.
Eh? I thought you'd enjoy it.
What, some hot, young babe rubbing her tits in my face? - Well, it's only what you're used to at home.
- Oi, oi, oi! I'm sorry, I just want to give you a stag night you'll never forget.
- Yeah, well, so far, it's been shite.
- Oh, great (!) Well, I'll All right, I'll think of something else.
Hang on.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
What night of the week is it? - Thursday.
- Thursday.
- Thursday.
- I know this pub where women wrestle each other naked in jelly.
- No, no.
Why does everything have to involve women taking off their clothes? - It's his stag night.
- Yeah, but it just all feels a bit - A bit sordid.
- I mean, look at us.
- Yeah, it was all right when we were their age.
- But not now - I know what, let's go for a Chinese.
If you can say that nowadays.
David, with the greatest respect, that is a crap stag night.
Yeah but, you know, that's the stag night I want.
- A few pints with my old mates.
- Yeah, you know, the three amigos.
The three amigos.
Come on.
Matthew.
What are you doing here? Does Angela earn more than you? I mean, biomedical engineering, it must be really well paid.
It is and she does by a small margin and I'm OK with it.
I'm not sure I would be.
I have to be.
Was it Dorothy Parker who said, "I've been rich, I've been poor and believe me, rich is better"? God! - I can't stand it.
- What, when David quotes Dorothy Parker? Yes, David, what were you thinking? No, being poor.
Having to work two jobs and then expect Jenny to make ends meet.
I feel like a failure.
You're not a failure, mate, you're just going through a rough patch.
- Yeah, you'll get back on your feet.
- I'm almost 50.
This is not gonna get any better.
- Do you know, I envy you? - Piss off! - Yeah, I do.
Your relationship with Jenny.
Through thick and thin, you stuck it out.
Robyn Robyn doesn't even like me .
.
and I'm not sure I particularly like her.
Well, I mean, you know, I envy your relationship with your kids.
Chloe doesn't even know I'm not her dad.
She loves you, Pete.
So does Adam.
I wish I had that closeness with Matthew.
I am not happy.
I have moments, you know, but that's all they are.
Little, fleeting glimpses.
Maybe Maybe in middle age, that's the best we can hope for.
It's just I miss my future being ahead of me.
I miss Karen.
I'm getting married tomorrow.
Great stag go, Pete.
You're welcome.
- Listen, we're gonna talk to your dad, OK? - No.
- No, no, no, he can't know.
- No, Matt, he has to know.
No, you can't tell him.
Not now, please.
Karen, please.
You've got to promise me.
Well, that was very kind.
You didn't need to do that.
I wasn't sure what to get.
I realised I don't know Angela very well.
Then I thought, "Neither do you.
" Everything all right? Yeah, yeah, fine.
I'm I was just thinking about my first wife.
Ah.
Worried you might be making the same mistake? She died.
Shit.
My big mouth.
It was a long time ago.
- You not married? - No.
The man I'm seeing is.
Oh.
Cos I wonder whether all of this is a bad idea.
- One of my closest friends thinks it is.
- Friends often know best.
- Hm.
As often as they don't.
When the time comes, you'll know.
It's getting bloody close.
Open up your door Thanks.
I can't see your face no more Love is so hard to find Shouldn't we be on our way? Pete's picking us up.
And even harder to define This is where we were living when you were born.
I wish your mum could see you now.
She'd be so proud.
I think of her every day, you know.
I still miss her.
She was magnificent.
My greatest regret is that .
.
you've never known what it is to have a family.
Not properly.
I-I-I know it can't be the same with Angela but when you come to stay with us in Singapore, right .
.
I want you to feel like you're coming home.
I'm really happy for you, Dad.
Oh, son.
He's pimped his ride.
Open up the door - Come on, you reds! - Open up your door Pete, do you think Jen might be right? Very rarely.
She thinks my subconscious knows that the wedding is wrong.
But she also thinks that United should play four up front.
What do you think? I think she's lovely, Adam.
My God.
When did Matt get so hot? Oh, in the time since we last saw him.
I've got dibs.
Adam, we need to talk.
- What? - What, now? Matthew came to see me last night.
You'll get a call.
I'm going to be expelled.
Oh, Matt.
- Why? - A teacher caught me smoking .
.
weed.
What? And they're gonna kick you out for that? It wasn't the first time.
I thought it made me look cool.
That the other kids, they accept me.
I saw you with your mates.
Those boys you were messing with.
They bully me.
I don't have any friends.
I don't fit in.
I never have.
I've-I've always hated it.
Oh, Matthew.
He's miserable, Adam.
He's lonely.
He's a lost soul.
You're telling me this now? I'm about to get married.
He made me promise not to say anything.
He didn't want to spoil your big day, but you have to know your son desperately needs his dad.
- Oh, Matthew.
- Quick! Quick! She's here.
Come on! Go, go, go, go, go.
Come on.
Chop chop.
Please take your seats.
Before you are joined in matrimony, I have to remind you both of the solemn and binding character of the vows you are about to make.
Marriage in this country means the union of two people voluntarily entered into for life to the exclusion of all others.
I shall now ask both of you in turn to declare that you do not know of any lawful reason as to why you should not be married to each other.
I give you this ring Wait.
Adam? Is everything all right? I'm sorry, I tuned out a wee bit there.
Where are we up to? I now declare you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
- I'm a patient man - I love you, Dad.
But what do I have to do? I scoured the waves for a song You're already whistling my tune So long Must have scoured the world for a heart That I know to be beating in you What do I have to do? What do I have to do?
Adam! - Give us a hand.
- I've only got one free.
Come here.
[There.
.]
Here.
Wait! Go! What do I have to do? Days gather into years Days gather into years Days are gatherin' into years Oh, yeah Chloe, kitchen! Jen, love, Adam's online! Ooh, here you go, love.
Stick 'em in the kitchen for me.
Hello! Hi.
Listen, the news here is that, erm - .
.
Angela and I aren't going out any more.
- Oh.
Thank you.
- Come on.
Cough up.
- All right.
- What are you doing? - If you dump your girlfriend within six months, I pay a fiver.
- Nice (!) Straight into the kids' college fund.
Adam sorted.
- Moving on to Chloe.
- It's our six-month anniversary today.
- Oh.
- What are the rules on that, then? - I didn't dump her.
- She dumped you? - That's unusually discerning.
- That's a first.
- Look, shut up and listen.
The reason why we're not going out any more is because .
.
we're getting married.
Here, has the erm? Has the picture frozen? - Well, we had to expect it would happen one day.
- Adam marrying? - It's way too soon.
- Jen, it's 14 years since Rachel died.
- Six months! I mean, he hardly knows how to pronounce her name.
- Angela? Zubayr, or something.
- Are you going to the wedding? - Of course.
Why wouldn't we? Do you know how much a flight to Singapore costs? Not in economy, no.
I always go business.
Anyway, we'll use air miles.
I've got plenty.
I'm very pleased for you, David.
And Robyn.
Girls, your father's here! Robyn won't want to take the time off work.
No, I thought that we might go together.
You don't think she'd mind you whisking your ex off business-class to Singapore? - Hi, Liv.
Hi, Ellie.
- Hi.
- Dad.
- Robyn will be fine with it.
Right, then.
Singapore.
Well? Did you break it to him? I didn't think the timing was right so I'll tell him when I see him.
Oh, Pete, look, that is the point.
You know, we can't afford the trip.
Well, he's coming over Wednesday, just for a couple of days.
Adam is? Really? Why? Oh, you didn't think to ask, did you? Well, is he bringing this Angela with him? No? Nothing? Right, let's try an easy one.
What time does his plane get in, love? - 5:30.
- Great.
I'll pick him up.
A-M.
Or you can.
Mwah! Denis Law! - Hello, mate.
- Hey.
- Mm.
- Here, for you.
- Really? - Mm.
- Ooh.
Single malt.
Thanks.
It's evaporation.
- Have you lost weight? - No.
Have you got more hair? No.
Maybe.
- No, wait, wait.
Not that one.
- Come on! Oh, yeah.
Got it.
I love that photo.
- Ooh! - Have you not got a more recent one? That is recent.
Ooh.
Well, she's young, isn't she? Not really.
She's 30.
Oh, wow! 18 years younger than you! It's just a number.
- Mwah! - Yeah.
18! - So where did you two meet? - Oh, it was very romantic.
- Tinder? - No, not this time.
I was on my way into work.
You know, fed up with the daily commute when I happened to get talking to this woman beside me.
The last 14 years, I've lived all over the world.
Hong Kong, Dubai, Seattle, now here in Singapore.
Sounds glamorous, eh? But it doesn't really matter where you are.
There's always that moment where the exotic becomes the mundane.
The adventure, the daily grind.
I want a life where the novelty never wears off.
I know exactly what you mean.
That was all she said.
It was all she had to say.
It was love at first sight.
Well, quicker than that, cos I hadn't clapped eyes on her yet.
- Well, how did you find out who she was? - Ah! This is the Irish guy from the ferry.
I was wondering are you free for dinner tonight? I thought meeting her would be an anti-climax, but .
.
it was just the opposite.
- A climax? - No, that was the second time.
And six months later, you're getting married! Yeah, moving in together to this fantastic apartment that we found.
Well, Angela found.
Do she and Matthew get on? I'm sure they will.
They haven't met? No They speak online.
Now he's saying he doesn't want to come to the wedding.
That's why I'm over here, to try and talk some sense into him.
- Oh, he's a teenager.
Good luck with that, old pal.
- I know.
Well, congratulations.
- We're all delighted for you.
- Yeah.
Well, I hope you'll be as happy as I thought me and Jenny were gonna be.
Me and Karen too.
Yeah, well How was your flight? It was good.
Pete met me at the airport.
Something of a surprise.
- Where are you parked? - Got a cab.
Ah.
God, it's Baltic.
- I'll do the big one.
- Ah, thanks.
Didsbury, please, mate.
Hi.
Are you all right? Did I mention I'd been laid off? - About a year ago.
- Still, things are looking up.
I've got two jobs now.
- What's the other one? - Carer.
Wiping old people's arses.
Pay's not great, but the job satisfaction more than makes up for it.
- Really? - No.
Care to join me upfront? Oh, God, yeah.
What do you mean, you didn't know? You talk for hours online.
What the hell do you talk about? - United.
- And City.
- Mm.
Important stuff.
So what do you reckon? Well, it's a madness, isn't it? I mean, he's clearly infatuated.
I mean, you can't blame him.
She's young and sexy and he's neither, frankly.
Aye-aye.
What are we whispering about? Adam, we think you might have lost your mind.
- I didn't say that.
- No, I did, but you were thinking it.
There is quite an age gap and you haven't known each other long.
Well, yes, you're right, of course.
But you're also wrong.
Do you know how many people I've been out with since Rachel died? - Well -- - None, for the first two years.
Two years! After that, names too numerous to mention, - but you know what they all had in common? - Ooh, er They were all born in the '80s? That is true, some of them were, but none of them were Rachel.
- Of course they couldn't be.
- None of them came close.
Nowhere near.
But Angela, she's Whoa! You'll see when you meet her.
Adam, have you actually talked to Pete about the wedding? I don't know how to say this, but - You want to know if you're my best man? - No, it's not that.
Of course you are.
- Am I? - Well, I'm hardly gonna ask David, am I? So will you do it? Again? I promise I'll make a better speech this time.
Good lad.
- Oh, for God's sake! - What? OK, Adam, we can't come to your wedding.
I mean, we'd love to, but we don't have the cash.
- Well, I'll pay for your flights.
- Oh, don't say that.
- At least not to Pete.
He's down on himself -- - But you've got to come.
He's my best man.
He's my best mate.
- If he can't, it'll have to be David! - I'm just saying - Hiya.
- Hey.
Do you know what? Actually, I have to go.
- I'm due at this Air B&B place.
- I'll give you a lift.
- Mate's rates.
- Hey, hey, you've had a drink.
No, lend him your car.
- What? - Go on, then.
- Oh.
All right.
There you go.
I want it back, crack of dawn.
- All right.
It is so great to see you, to share my good news with you.
- I know - Mwah! - .
.
how pleased you are.
Goodbye.
That's a car crash waiting to happen.
I hope not.
It's my car.
Five That was quick.
- Sorry? - I've only just rung.
OK.
Bottom of the road, turn left.
Oh, I see.
You think that I'm There's a chemist a couple of minutes away.
Well, come on.
I've got to get back.
Come on.
OK.
It's great to see Adam so happy.
So loved-up as the girls might say.
He sends his regards.
Sorry you couldn't join us.
You might be able to drop everything, David, I can't, not if I want to come to the wedding.
You want to come to the wedding? Mini break in Singapore? I'm not gonna miss that.
Oh, God! I was pinged by that speed camera.
On the A56? I told you you were driving too fast.
Well, point to you, Robyn.
That's three to me, which brings me to 12.
- I'm going to be banned.
- Perhaps you'll be more careful next time.
Which, unless you have grounds for appeal, will be in six months.
- How many points have you got? - None.
I'm a careful driver.
So, erm - So, you could take these for me? - What? Photo's bound to be fuzzy.
They won't know who's at the wheel.
- I can't do that.
I'm a lawyer.
- Divorce lawyer.
I'd still be struck off and sent to prison.
No, David.
You did the crime, you do the time.
Right.
Home, James.
Shouldn't really be out.
- Are you not well? - Just a touch of thrush (!) No, I'm supposed to wait in for someone.
He's renting this apartment I own.
Sounds like a bit of a tosser, to be honest.
- What gives you that impression? - The tone of his e-mails.
"Please find attached, my itinerary.
" - Who speaks like that? - Someone who's articulate.
He's an ex-pat from Singapore.
I bet he's a banker-wanker.
Or he works in IT.
A lot of them do, apparently.
I just hope I get there before he does.
Photo-finish, I reckon.
Well, what do I owe you? A medical emergency, no charge.
Oh, no, I can't do that.
No, no, no.
Can't have you thinking all men are wankers.
Thank you.
Pleasure.
Didn't I mention? I'm the wanker from Singapore.
Look, I'm sorry about that, I hadn't a clue.
- Oh, well, I didn't give you one.
- No, you didn't.
So this is you.
Holy shit.
- Thank you.
- Spare keys, details for the alarm.
I live directly across the hall, in case there's any complaints.
No, I'm sure I won't have any.
Apart from the "wanker" comment.
Thank you, sir.
- Dad! - Baby boy! Hey! Hello.
Wow, son.
Hey, what about your godmum? - Hello, darling.
- Hello.
Hello.
Every time I see you, I see your mum.
- We're talking about my wedding.
- I've told you, it's the school play.
- Well, you can skip one performance.
- It's the last night.
So do some earlier in the week, then fly to Singapore.
No, I can't let people down and I'd miss the cast party.
What? Whoa! Whoa! Sorry, is this about letting people down or missing a party? Jesus, Matt! What part are you playing? Nancy.
- Nancy? - Bill Sykes's girlfriend.
- Yeah, I know who she is, - I'm just a little surprised they've cast you.
- It's an all-boys' school.
- It's a good role.
I get to die.
- No, no, no.
Proud as I am that my son is playing the female lead, we're talking about my wedding! - It's a big thing for me.
- Well, it isn't for me.
I hardly even know Oh Angela! You'll get to know her when you come to the wedding.
- I've flown halfway round the world to talk to you.
- You could've phoned.
- That's how important you are to me.
- Why not let me do what I want? - I don't want to come to your wedding.
- Well, I don't care.
- You're coming.
- I'm not and you can't make me! - How long do you think they'll let you stay when I stop paying the bills? - Adam! - Keep out of this.
You're 15 years old.
You'll do what you're told.
- Matt, stop walking away from me.
- Shut up.
Shut? What? Well, that went well (!) So he'll be there, then? Pete? No.
But Matthew will, with a face like a slapped arse reminding me how much I've ruined his life.
Kids! - See you in a couple of weeks.
- I look forward to it.
I'm already working on my speech.
Great.
I hate goodbyes, so I'm just gonna go.
Come here.
Jenny, Jen-Jen.
He is making a terrible mistake and he knows it.
Just smile and wave.
Yay! - I need a word.
Do you have time for a coffee? - Yeah.
Ooh, coffee, yeah.
Why not? I might even treat myself to an Irish.
- Tell me about it, I won't be able to sleep either.
- Rachel! Rachel! Stay still.
I'm gonna get some help.
Stay there.
David shouldn't be his best man.
He isn't, he's his second-best man.
Coming through.
Out of the way! So, a slight hitch with the flights.
Robyn wants to come after all, business-class, which uses up all my points.
So I'm afraid I'm afraid you're going to have to pay for yourself.
Oh, you're going to have to make your own way to the airport.
I'm about to be banned from driving.
What? Mind your backs, please! Well, we should do this again sometime.
What, meet at the airport for coffee (?) You know, get together.
Come for dinner.
Robyn would love that.
Would that be before you two go to Singapore? Feeling Alright Adam? So you had a fall.
I fell.
Old people have falls.
- Off a travelator.
- I was distracted, all right? What by? Erm I thought you'd had a heart attack.
Why would you think that? I was wearing a neck brace.
As a result of the fall, after your heart attack.
- It was an accident.
They happen.
- Well, not really at airports.
Mind you, we did see a documentary about that, didn't we? What was it? When Travelators Attack (?) Oh, brilliant.
- His dad's sense of humour.
Very funny.
- OK.
So just to get this straight, OK.
You didn't have a heart attack.
- Concussion.
They're just keeping me in to run a few tests.
- Right.
- I'd better let Angela know -- - You haven't let - That's what I asked you to do.
- .
.
that it wasn't a heart attack.
- You told her I had a heart attack? - It seemed the logical explanation.
- You know, a man of your age.
- She'll be sat at home, worried sick.
Well, that is where you're wrong, because she is on a plane right now to Manchester.
- What? - Oh, good.
I didn't think we'd get to meet her.
Wh? Whoa.
Wait.
Er No, of course I don't mind.
I'd ask Pete or Jen, but they're both working.
- She could get a cab, I suppose.
- Adam, as your best man, I can't allow that.
Now - How do you spell her surname? - Thanks.
- Z - Yeah? - .
.
U-B - Uh-huh.
.
.
A-Y-R.
Right.
Gosh.
That would be a nightmare hand at Scrabble.
No.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
- He's in here.
- Thank you.
[OK.
.]
Wha? Who? Oh, my God.
I thought you were dead! No, no, no, I'm not dead.
- So it wasn't a heart attack? - No, no, it was just, er - A bump on the head.
- A You spoke to Pete.
You're very funny.
Come here, you.
Hello.
- Come on.
Mm.
- Mm.
Did David not come in with you? - David? - My friend, he picked you up at the airport.
Angela mistook me for her driver! Chauffeur, you were better-dressed.
Funnily enough, that happened to me the other day.
Happens to me all the time.
Trouble is, it's true.
Gives you an anecdote for your speech, eh? I wouldn't do that.
Not at the bride's expense.
I'm just going to check on the food.
- I'll give you a hand.
- Thanks.
She is lovely.
David, er, you must have plenty of air miles, eh? Yes, enough for two business-class flights to Singapore.
Why? Can I have a word? - Well, she seems really nice.
- Well, she seems really nice! - Of course she is.
She wants to make a good impression.
- She has on Adam.
- He's in love.
- I have to admit, I'm falling a little bit myself.
Aw! Sad, middle-aged man.
- Him and you.
- He's happy, Jen.
- Why wouldn't he be? Oh Erm, she's 18 years younger than him.
That's my point.
- He's making a fool of himself.
- Oh, will you just leave him be? He is old enough to make his own mistakes.
Don't you think that Rachel would want us to say something? Ta-dah! Don't You Find? - Women bring food.
- That some of the time There is always someone on your mind That shouldn't be at all, In any place or any kind? I do like Angela, I must say.
That was obvious, the way your tongue was lolling on the carpet.
Seeing everybody together, I suddenly had a rather good idea for Adam's wedding present.
Now, hear me out on this.
See, Pete and Jenny can't afford the trip.
No.
I hear he's driving a taxi.
Imagine! Well, I have enough air miles to fly them both to Singapore.
Business-class, with us? Well, no.
If we take Karen too, we can all go together, in economy.
Why would we take Karen? Because of the favour she's doing me.
Why were you driving so fast? I was listening to ELO, which always gets me revved up.
- Thanks to Mr Blue Sky, I have to ferry the girls for six months.
- There you are.
- Thank you.
- Well Not unless I can find someone who'll say that they were driving.
Karen's agreed to swear a false stat dec for you? Out of self-interest.
I thought you'd be pleased.
Delighted to be cast as the woman who won't stand by her husband while his ex-wife will (!) Now you want to fly her to Singapore? Well, don't you think it'll be fun? You know, the five of us having our own little party in the air? In economy? I'd rather have a flat bed, but go ahead.
Squander your air miles.
I shall be at the pointy end of the plane.
OK, deep breaths.
- Adam, I'm not nervous.
- I meant me.
Keep going! Go on, Adam! - Well done, mate.
- Thanks.
- Well done.
You played well.
- All right, Matt? - Hi, Dad.
- Look.
In the flesh: Angela.
I think you'd better call me Mum, don't you? I'm kidding.
It's good to properly meet you, Matthew.
I prefer Matt, Mum.
Mr Williams, do you have a moment? Erm, yeah.
- Do you like it here? - Yeah.
Yeah, it's great.
"Williams" a knob.
All right, lads.
- Girl! - Girl! - Fool! The place that we're going to be living in is in this great part of Singapore.
And your room, when you come and visit is, er I guess it must be a bit odd for you: me and your dad.
- No, a lot of the boys have stepmums.
- Oh, yeah? - Do they get on with them? - No.
Well, I hope we will.
Erm, you're a bit different.
You mean I'm not trying to replace your mum? I think he means you're a lot younger than them.
One of the boys thought you were the au pair.
Is that a good thing? - Yeah, au pairs are hot.
- Oi! You little bollocks.
You are in big trouble, Matthew.
- It's nothing.
The school are being stupid.
- Dealing drugs? - Nos.
It's not illegal.
- Laughing gas? All the kids are doing it.
It's harmless.
People have died, Matthew! Karen said you'd kick off.
- You knew about this? - I am the school's first point of contact.
- You didn't think to tell me? - It didn't seem worth bothering you with.
- He's threatened with expulsion! - It's not that big a big deal, is it? - What?! - Come on.
When you were young, you didn't do any laughing gas? - Worse.
- Me too.
He's threatened with expulsion! - If he does it again.
- So you won't, will you? - No.
- There you go.
Problem sorted.
- I thought parenting would be a lot harder.
- Well, it can be.
Sorry.
Are you still annoyed with me? I'm trying to be.
Karen told me that Matt doesn't want to come to our wedding.
- Not because of you.
- And Pete and Jenny can't.
No.
- I don't think we should get married -- - What? - .
.
in Singapore.
Your friends have to be there and your son's got to want to be there.
If they won't come to the wedding, then let's bring the wedding to them.
Have it here, in Manchester? - What about your friends? - Oh, they'll come, don't worry.
Any excuse for a party.
You are wonderful, do you know that? It doesn't hurt to be reminded.
Your moving the wedding back home has saved me a fortune in air fares.
Literally why we did it, David.
Must have cost you though, all those lost deposits.
Angela's dad's paying.
Small change to him.
- His name's not Eddie, is it? - Yeah.
Do you know him? There must be more than one Eddie Zubayr in the world.
Not worth 300 million quid, there aren't.
What, that's him? What, that is him? Yeah.
I'll get these.
Bit of luck, then, your accident at the airport? How do you mean? - It means we can all go to the wedding.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I suppose that's true.
You can keep a secret? - I can start.
- The reason the accident happened, er, I was at the airport.
Someone shouted out, "Rachel!" And then I saw her.
- Who? - Rachel.
- Rachel? - Someone that looked like her.
I mean, it stopped me in my tracks and the next thing I know, I'm getting mouth-to-mouth from a paramedic with halitosis.
Well, this is like the old times.
The three amigos back in the saddle.
Three amigos.
- So, Eddie Zubayr! - Yeah.
- Well, will he be coming over for the wedding? - Yeah.
- He's arriving next week.
He's got some deal he's working on.
- Really? Oh.
Well, perhaps I should meet him at the airport.
- What, as a business opportunity? - I suppose it could be, but I meant more as your best man.
David, erm, on that Since the wedding's gonna be here .
.
do you mind if I reinstate Pete? Pete? No, no, of course not, no.
I was going to suggest it myself.
Three amigos.
- Three amigos.
- Three amigos.
Oh, all right, love.
- Hiya.
- Listen, er - Any chance of extending my stay? - Manchester? This time of year? Yeah.
All right.
How long for? A couple of days? Er, maybe a few weeks.
- There's been a change of plan.
- Mm.
You're looking well.
David .
.
I've parked in short-stay.
Good.
You can pick your car up later.
Here.
- Oh, I'm not dressing up.
- Oh, Pete, please.
I was gonna fly you to Singapore.
I stood down so you could be best man.
(All right.
) Here.
Ah, here he is.
Ah.
Welcome to Manchester.
Mr Marsden, your knowledge of Islamic customs is exemplary.
And I must confess, completely exhausted.
Let me take this.
The car is this way.
So, how was your flight? So what do you think? - That you shouldn't be getting married.
- Oh, shut up.
- Here, look.
- Needs to be tighter in the back.
- Tighter in the back.
- Mm.
I just don't understand why you are.
Because Angela's only got six months to live.
Oh, my God! That's not true, I just said it to shut you up.
- Adam, seriously! - Oi, what? Jen! - Do you remember what it's like to fall in love, eh? - Well, vaguely.
You know, the agony when he doesn't call, the ecstasy when he does.
- Sorry, is this Pete we're talking about? - Oh, yeah.
Well, that's what it's like for me with Ange.
That's cos it's early days, you know, the first flush of romance.
You don't get married off that.
You wait till it's passed and then see if you can still stand the sight of each other.
Well, we can.
Sorry.
And as daft as it sounds, she makes me feel -- - Like dancing (!) - No, alive.
That's not gonna change.
It's who she is.
She's constantly surprising.
We had this argument in Singapore about the best restaurant to eat in.
I guarantee you won't have tasted better food.
I know where you're taking me and you're right.
- You won't know this one.
- Listen, I've lived here three years.
I know everywhere.
Even places that haven't opened.
And this, this is my favourite.
This way.
What? What is that? I thought that was Oh, I love you.
I love you too.
Let's get married.
And when she said that, I didn't think, "Well, that's mental!" - I just said, "Yes!" - Except it is mental.
Maybe it will work, maybe it won't but, while it does, I'll feel alive and after Rachel, I never thought I would again.
I know you're having doubts.
What? I I know what put Adam in hospital.
- I'll kill him.
I will kill him.
- You saw Rachel.
No, I saw someone that looked like Rachel.
- Happen often, does it? - All the time in the first couple of years after she died.
- Since then? - Not once in the last ten years, but -- You see, you know deep inside that Rachel wouldn't give this marriage her blessing.
- It was an accident.
- There is no such thing.
- What? - It's your subconscious and you know it.
- Stop it.
That's why you didn't want Pete to blab.
Except, subconsciously you did, cos you wanted me to talk you out of it.
- Jen, what is your problem? - I just think you're gonna get hurt and I don't want to ever see that happen again cos .
.
cos I care about you, OK.
A lot.
- I love you, Jen.
- Hm! And I love Angela.
Where's he gone? Drink up, we're leaving.
Eh? I thought you'd enjoy it.
What, some hot, young babe rubbing her tits in my face? - Well, it's only what you're used to at home.
- Oi, oi, oi! I'm sorry, I just want to give you a stag night you'll never forget.
- Yeah, well, so far, it's been shite.
- Oh, great (!) Well, I'll All right, I'll think of something else.
Hang on.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
What night of the week is it? - Thursday.
- Thursday.
- Thursday.
- I know this pub where women wrestle each other naked in jelly.
- No, no.
Why does everything have to involve women taking off their clothes? - It's his stag night.
- Yeah, but it just all feels a bit - A bit sordid.
- I mean, look at us.
- Yeah, it was all right when we were their age.
- But not now - I know what, let's go for a Chinese.
If you can say that nowadays.
David, with the greatest respect, that is a crap stag night.
Yeah but, you know, that's the stag night I want.
- A few pints with my old mates.
- Yeah, you know, the three amigos.
The three amigos.
Come on.
Matthew.
What are you doing here? Does Angela earn more than you? I mean, biomedical engineering, it must be really well paid.
It is and she does by a small margin and I'm OK with it.
I'm not sure I would be.
I have to be.
Was it Dorothy Parker who said, "I've been rich, I've been poor and believe me, rich is better"? God! - I can't stand it.
- What, when David quotes Dorothy Parker? Yes, David, what were you thinking? No, being poor.
Having to work two jobs and then expect Jenny to make ends meet.
I feel like a failure.
You're not a failure, mate, you're just going through a rough patch.
- Yeah, you'll get back on your feet.
- I'm almost 50.
This is not gonna get any better.
- Do you know, I envy you? - Piss off! - Yeah, I do.
Your relationship with Jenny.
Through thick and thin, you stuck it out.
Robyn Robyn doesn't even like me .
.
and I'm not sure I particularly like her.
Well, I mean, you know, I envy your relationship with your kids.
Chloe doesn't even know I'm not her dad.
She loves you, Pete.
So does Adam.
I wish I had that closeness with Matthew.
I am not happy.
I have moments, you know, but that's all they are.
Little, fleeting glimpses.
Maybe Maybe in middle age, that's the best we can hope for.
It's just I miss my future being ahead of me.
I miss Karen.
I'm getting married tomorrow.
Great stag go, Pete.
You're welcome.
- Listen, we're gonna talk to your dad, OK? - No.
- No, no, no, he can't know.
- No, Matt, he has to know.
No, you can't tell him.
Not now, please.
Karen, please.
You've got to promise me.
Well, that was very kind.
You didn't need to do that.
I wasn't sure what to get.
I realised I don't know Angela very well.
Then I thought, "Neither do you.
" Everything all right? Yeah, yeah, fine.
I'm I was just thinking about my first wife.
Ah.
Worried you might be making the same mistake? She died.
Shit.
My big mouth.
It was a long time ago.
- You not married? - No.
The man I'm seeing is.
Oh.
Cos I wonder whether all of this is a bad idea.
- One of my closest friends thinks it is.
- Friends often know best.
- Hm.
As often as they don't.
When the time comes, you'll know.
It's getting bloody close.
Open up your door Thanks.
I can't see your face no more Love is so hard to find Shouldn't we be on our way? Pete's picking us up.
And even harder to define This is where we were living when you were born.
I wish your mum could see you now.
She'd be so proud.
I think of her every day, you know.
I still miss her.
She was magnificent.
My greatest regret is that .
.
you've never known what it is to have a family.
Not properly.
I-I-I know it can't be the same with Angela but when you come to stay with us in Singapore, right .
.
I want you to feel like you're coming home.
I'm really happy for you, Dad.
Oh, son.
He's pimped his ride.
Open up the door - Come on, you reds! - Open up your door Pete, do you think Jen might be right? Very rarely.
She thinks my subconscious knows that the wedding is wrong.
But she also thinks that United should play four up front.
What do you think? I think she's lovely, Adam.
My God.
When did Matt get so hot? Oh, in the time since we last saw him.
I've got dibs.
Adam, we need to talk.
- What? - What, now? Matthew came to see me last night.
You'll get a call.
I'm going to be expelled.
Oh, Matt.
- Why? - A teacher caught me smoking .
.
weed.
What? And they're gonna kick you out for that? It wasn't the first time.
I thought it made me look cool.
That the other kids, they accept me.
I saw you with your mates.
Those boys you were messing with.
They bully me.
I don't have any friends.
I don't fit in.
I never have.
I've-I've always hated it.
Oh, Matthew.
He's miserable, Adam.
He's lonely.
He's a lost soul.
You're telling me this now? I'm about to get married.
He made me promise not to say anything.
He didn't want to spoil your big day, but you have to know your son desperately needs his dad.
- Oh, Matthew.
- Quick! Quick! She's here.
Come on! Go, go, go, go, go.
Come on.
Chop chop.
Please take your seats.
Before you are joined in matrimony, I have to remind you both of the solemn and binding character of the vows you are about to make.
Marriage in this country means the union of two people voluntarily entered into for life to the exclusion of all others.
I shall now ask both of you in turn to declare that you do not know of any lawful reason as to why you should not be married to each other.
I give you this ring Wait.
Adam? Is everything all right? I'm sorry, I tuned out a wee bit there.
Where are we up to? I now declare you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
- I'm a patient man - I love you, Dad.
But what do I have to do? I scoured the waves for a song You're already whistling my tune So long Must have scoured the world for a heart That I know to be beating in you What do I have to do? What do I have to do?