Courage the Cowardly Dog (1999) Episode Scripts

Mondo Magic-Watch the Birdies

We interrupt this program to bring you Courage the Cowardly Dog show! Starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog! Abandoned as a pup, he was found by Muriel, who lives in the middle of Nowhere with her husband Eustace Bagge.
But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.
It's up to Courage to save his new home.
Stupid dog! You made me look bad! Hmm, yes.
Very nice.
I can work with that.
Hey! I don't know who it's for, Courage.
But you can open it if you want.
Yes! Oh, Courage, isn't it exciting? Oh! Ah! Oh! Wasn't that wonderful, Eustace? Big deal! Hey, I got a trick for you, dog.
Make yourself disappear.
Ah, Courage, just show Eustace your biggest trick.
He'll have to be impressed.
Oh, my! Oh! Oh! That's the best trick I ever saw.
However did you do it? Trick? I don't do tricks, I do magic.
It's all done with mirrors.
Mirrors? I am the Amazing Mondo! Then show me something amazing! Please forgive Eustace.
He doesn't appreciate true magic like I do.
Remember, kid, it's all in the presentation.
Isn't that lovely? Mirrors.
Oh.
Oh.
Now I will require an assistant.
Oh, I've always wanted to Not you.
I have something else up my sleeve for you.
Ah! How about you? I don't do no illusions! Oh, go ahead, Eustace.
Maybe you can poof me up one of them big-screen TVs.
I want to feel like I'm part of the action.
Eustace, where'd you go? Hey, where am I? Hey, I'm in the TV! Hey, I'm in the TV.
Sir Slamalot looks angry.
Uh-oh.
Oh, this looks like curtains for the farmer! For my next magical feat, I shall require the assistance of a lovely lady.
Me? Oh, my! I'd be glad to.
I don't see anything different.
Heavens! Hmm.
I don't think I've had anything like this before.
That concludes tonight's show! You've been a delightful audience.
Show's over, kid.
I gotta wet the ol' magic whistle.
Oh, my! By midnight tonight, the transformation will be complete.
And I shall take her as my bride! Oh, Courage, help me! Oh! Oh! Oh, my! Dr.
Vindaloo.
You howled? Mmm-hmm.
This look like black magic.
Nothing to worry about.
Nothing at all.
But there is nothing I can do.
Magic must be fought with magic.
Oh, yes.
That's a good one.
I am now a head of lettuce.
This all feels just so wrong.
Oh, no! We are getting closer, dear.
Only one more hour until you are mine forever.
All right.
Hey! Hey! Eustace? I love this show! Oh! Get real, kid.
I am the greatest magician in the world! Ah-ha! How did you do that? Amazing.
How does he do that? Ah! Oops! I am no longer a head of lettuce! Kid, if you want to make it big like me, it takes years of practice.
And you only have four minutes.
Work on your presentation.
After all, it's all in the presentation.
Ta-da! Oh, how lovely! Not bad.
You're going to hear from my agent about this! Hey! Where am I? Eustace? Ta-da! Oh, how I love magic! Oh! Get real, kid.
Here you are, you sweet feathered creatures, you.
Breakfast time! Where's my breakfast, woman? I'm starving to death! Calm yourself, Eustace.
I'm just feeding the birdies.
I'd like to feed the birdies to the cats! Courage, there's nothing to be afraid of.
A bird would never do us any harm.
Argh! Courage, help me! Help me! Muriel, where's my breakfast? Ooga-booga-booga! Help! Koochie-koochie-koochie-koo! - Now, remember.
- Huh? I'm only gonna be gone for a few hours.
Imagine, a woman of my quality, having to raise three kids all alone.
Good thing I'm such a devoted mother.
And that's why I'm off to Florida on a singles weekend, to look for a husband.
Now, you take good care of my precious little babies.
They mean the world to me.
If I come back here and find just one feather out of place on their little heads, I'm gonna eat you with this cereal spoon! So long! Don't you worry now.
I'm sure they'll be perfect little angels.
Oh, my! Oh, Courage.
I'm so glad you're here.
We've got some hungry wee birdies to feed.
Would you mind getting them something to eat? Ahhh! Muriel? It's about time.
I'm dying of starvation here.
Oh.
Huh? Oh! Phew! No, no, no, Courage.
Baby birdies don't eat escargot with basil and pancetta in an herb crust.
They eat worms.
Worms are good for birdies.
Please go and dig for some.
Ahhh! Oh, they're just wee babies.
They can't chew their food yet.
Oh, Courage, what are we gonna do? Isn't that lovely? Babies are so sweet, aren't they, Courage? I just love to hear them at play.
Oh, thank goodness you're back! The poor dears are hungry again.
Eustace has a bucket of fishing bait in the cellar.
I'm sure the wee birdies would enjoy a meal of that.
Muriel, where's my breakfast? Stupid thieving dog! Get back here with my bait! Huh? Huh? I'm coming to get you, dog! Oh, there you are, Courage.
Yuck! How utterly disgusting! Mmm.
Babies.
I love babies.
Let me help you name them.
How about Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner? Oh, how very witty! No! Stay away from my babies, you horrid creature, you! Muriel! That you up there? I'm hungry.
You come down here this instant! No! Come here, babies.
Don't be afraid.
Come and play with Papa's rattle.
Ugh! Honey? Enough of this tomfoolery.
What in blue blazes is going on up here? Argh! Ow, ow! Huh? Good heavens! It's the mother of all chickens.
Huh? Huh? A snake! What kind of birdie was that? He was so strange, yet so familiar.
Help! Help! Darlings! Mama's back! Mama! Mama! The singles mixer was a bust.
But on my way home, I found the man of my dreams.
Kids, say hello to your new daddy.
Where's my dinner? Isn't he just fabulous? Stupid dog! English March 2017