Ducktales (1987) s01e63 Episode Script

All Ducks on Deck

- Life is like a hurricane - Here in Duckburg - Race cars, lasers, airplanes - it's a duck-blur - Might solve a mystery - Or rewrite history - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Every day they're out there making - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Tales of derring-do Bad and good luck tales - D-d-d-danger - Watch behind you - There's a stranger out to find you - What to do? Just grab on to some - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Every day they're out there making - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - Tales of derring-do Bad and good luck tales - Ooh-woo-ooh Not pony tales or cotton tales, no - DuckTales Ooh-woo-ooh - [thundering] Our steering is damaged, our radar is out.
And the storm is carrying us into Pinball Reef.
Oh, where is Seaman Donald Duck when we need him? - Wrestling the giant octopus, sir.
- Giant octopus? [Yelling indistinctly] Come on! Wait a minute, break it up.
[Shouting] Hi-yah! Uh-oh.
[Bells ringing] We're in Pinball Reef.
[Both screaming] Tilt! I mean, abandon ship! You can't steer it like that, Admiral Grimitz.
I'll take over from here.
Seaman Donald Duck, for gallantry above and beyond the call of duty, I award you the distinguished purple silver service heart star with peanut cluster.
Quackaroonie, you're a hero! We sure are proud of you, Uncle Donald.
Yeah! We sure are.
You're not the only ones.
Why, just the other day Admiral Grimitz turned to me and said [Scrooge] Donald, get your big feet off my desk! Uncle Donald was just using your desk as an aircraft carrier, Uncle Scrooge.
Nah, an aircraft carrier is much bigger.
Even I couldn't land a plane on a flight deck this small.
Well, maybe a real little plane.
[Making engine noises] [Imitates tires screeching] Whoa! [Sighing] Come along, Donald.
You're late already.
- Can we go too, Uncle Scrooge? - Not this time, lads.
Launchpad and I have some important business to take care of after we drop off your Uncle Donald.
See you around Christmas, boys.
- Goodbye, Uncle Donald.
- Goodbye, boys.
Aww Guess we won't get to see Uncle Donald's medals till Christmas.
Uh-oh! He's gonna have to come back before then.
He forgot his duffel bag.
- Wait a minute.
- [Grunts] I forgot my duffel bag! He'd forget his brain, if it wasn't in his duffel bag.
I've been thinking about getting one myself.
A duffel bag, not a brain.
Of course, Launchpad.
Why get something you'd never use? [Grunting] Boy, is this heavy.
[Straining] Mrs.
Beakley baked you one of her fruitcakes, didn't she? Hope we can get off the ground with that kind of weight aboard.
[Man] All present and accounted for, Admiral Grimitz.
Except for, would you care to take a guess, sir? Duck! Aye, sir.
Seaman Donald Duck is late as usual.
We just received special orders.
We have to put to sea immediately.
Admiral Grimitz, unidentified aircraft approaching.
One of ours or one of theirs? - One of theirs.
- [Growling] Civilians.
[Launchpad] It's a lot bigger than your desk, Mr.
McD.
I can set us down with my eyes closed.
[Scrooge] Launchpad! [Thudding] Nothing wrong with a little double parking.
[Man] Phantom Blot calling Agent X.
Phantom Blot calling Agent X.
Our Cat Island headquarters is secure.
The villagers are cooperating fully.
After all, if one expects to take over the world, one must know how to handle people.
[Cackling] Proceed with Operation Aardvark as planned, Agent X.
[Agent X mumbles indistinctly] I know Operation Aardvark is a silly name for it.
We're going alphabetically.
Besides, if I were you, I wouldn't make fun of silly names, Agent X.
[Agent X mumbling] Just do as you're told.
And remember, I am the Phantom Blot.
I make Darth Vader look about as scary as a hood ornament of a '53 Buick.
Compared to me, Dr.
Doom is a wimp! And Captain Hook is about as dangerous as a plastic coat hangar! [Cackling] I'm mean, I'm mean! Know what I mean? Have a nice day.
[Cackling maniacally] Goodbye, Donald, my boy.
Sorry we landed on your airplane, Admiral Grimitz.
So am I.
Goodbye, Uncle Scrooge.
Goodbye! - Civilians.
- Yeah.
I used to be one.
Well, you're in the Navy now, mister.
Ensign Plover, what assignments do we have for late arrivals? Well, let's see.
There's swabbing the deck, peeling potatoes, laundry detail.
We could keep him busy till his hitch is up.
Well, then get him started, Plover.
With pleasure, sir.
Seaman Duck, march! Hup, two, three, four Golly, either Admiral Grimitz doesn't like heroes or Or Uncle Donald isn't one.
Uncle Donald must've made up all those stories.
Guess he just wanted us to be proud of him.
Well, I'm still proud of him.
I just wish he'd quit forgetting his duffel bag.
[Launchpad] What a sunset.
Have to get up early in the morning to find better.
Cat Island should be coming up on your left, Launchpad.
Cat Island? Where'd they come up with a name like that? - Uh [clears throat] Never mind.
- [Scrooge] I own that fishing fleet, but we haven't been able to contact the island for weeks.
I have a funny feeling something weird has happened here.
Who does he think he is, making me do all the work around here.
I did not go back in the Navy to swab the deck.
I can sign aboard a ship with a much smaller deck.
[Continues muttering] [Huey] This is great.
All we wanted to do was see Uncle Donald's medals, and now we're probably going to a war or something.
How were we supposed to know his ship was gonna leave early? Poor Uncle Donald, he probably doesn't have a single medal.
He could be a hero, easy.
He probably just never got the chance.
Say, that's not a bad idea.
We'll use our secret weapon.
The Junior Woodchuck Guidebook.
Fishermen wouldn't just go off and leave their boats.
I have a funny feeling your funny feeling was right, Mr.
McD.
Something weird is going on here.
What in blazes [struggling] A net! And I don't mean Funicello! Yes.
Something weird is going on here.
And that something weird is me! I'm mean! [Man over speaker] Now hear this, now hear this! Admiral Grimitz has an announcement.
[Grimitz clears throat] Men, we've been ordered to take part in a top-secret mission.
Oh, boy! A new experimental jet is going to try its first carrier landing.
We're the carrier it's landing on.
There are bad guys who'd like to get a hold of that plane, so i want the whole ship to act like we don't know a thing.
Missile exercises and lifeboat drills are the order of the day.
That is all for now.
This is our chance to help Uncle Donald win some medals.
[Dewey] First thing we gotta do is find another place to hide.
Especially during lifeboat drills.
- [Agent X mumbling] - [Phantom Blot] Very well, Agent X.
All we can do now is wait.
One must be patient if one wants to take over the world.
[Cackling] Soon, the world will tremble at the mere sight of No! The mere mention of No, no, no! The mere thought of the Phantom Blot.
[Cackling] - Who does he think he is? - The Phantom Blot.
And who is this mysterious Agent X? Now that's a tough one, Mr.
McD.
[Dewey] This will be perfect.
It has everything we need.
Electronics, computer parts, batteries.
This airplane wing tip is just about the right shape.
Now all we need is something to use as propellers and some string.
We're gonna give the admiral the lifeboat drill of his life.
[Giggles] Gently, men, gently.
Sometimes the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook even amazes a Junior Woodchuck.
Let's just hope it never falls into the wrong hands.
Operation Uncle Hero is underway! [Motor whirring] Well done, men.
Let's get back up on deck.
- Aye-aye, sir! - [Gasps] Not without me, Ensign Plover! [Stammering] Shark, uh, sir! Shark? Shark! Come on, Uncle Donald.
Show the admiral what kind of hero you are.
Don't worry, admiral.
I'll save us.
Oh, no! He's knocked out the remote control.
Our fish got away.
[Both yell] [Gasps] Here it comes again! - Yow! - Ow.
Don't worry, fellas.
Uncle Donald will do much better during missile exercises.
[Grimitz] Launch target drone! I just love making things go "kablooey.
" It's in your blood, sir.
I'm sure our Junior Woodchuck homing device will work better than our remote control shark.
It'd be impossible not to.
Shh.
Someone's coming.
Plover, this baby looks ready to fly.
At least until it goes kablooey.
Ha, ha.
Uncle Donald's missile will seek out that homing device no matter what.
Hey, what's this little radio doing here? That deck crew listening to rock and roll on duty again, no doubt? Put them on report.
- Yes, sir! - Now, who's up next? [Plover] Seaman Donald Duck, sir.
Well, at least he'll be shooting at this target drone instead of me.
Launch target drone! Intercept this at 15 degrees to port.
Nineteen degrees to starboard.
[Both] What did he say? What did he say? Launch 32, elevation 65, distance 2,000 yards.
What did he say? What did he say? Missile locked on target.
Fire! - Did he say "fire?" - That's the only word I understood.
Once I push this button, that missile's gonna head for our homing device.
This will really get the admiral's attention.
[Beeping] - [Shouts] - [Yells] Are you all right? Ensign Plover, I love it when things go kablooey, but not when it's me! Well, how did I do? Uh-oh.
[Sighs] The only thing worse than swabbing decks is peeling potatoes and swabbing decks.
Aww We're really sorry, Uncle Donald.
Yeah, it was all our fault.
That's OK, boys.
You didn't Aah! [Man] Experimental aircraft continuing landing approach.
Three thousand yards and closing.
You should be able to see it by now, admiral.
Not this aircraft, Ensign Plover.
You see, it's invisible.
You aren't serious, sir? Look for yourself, Plover.
You won't see a thing.
[Airplane approaching] [Grimitz] The pilot's flight suit makes him invisible, too.
Think I'll get one for my wife.
Well done, mister.
Ensign Plover will show you to your quarters.
Thanks for helping out with the potatoes, boys.
It was the least we could do after messing up your missile practice.
- And your lifeboat drill.
- Not to mention your life.
Well, it was my fault, too.
If I hadn't told you all those tall stories, you wouldn't have tried to make them come true.
Ohh Now I'd better take you to Admiral Grimitz.
I'd rather peel another pile of potatoes.
Agent X calling Phantom Blot.
Operation Aardvark is underway.
What am I gonna do with you, Seaman Duck? How about giving him a medal? Only kidding! Nothing busts my rudder more than stowaways! - [Alarm ringing] - [Man] Someone's stealing the jet! Except maybe that.
It was Ensign Plover.
He bumped me on the head and took my flight suit.
Agent X to Phantom Blot.
Operation Aardvark may be a silly name, but it's a complete success! This Blot guy is serious.
Aye.
It's that third lever I'm interested in.
That's the one that opens this cell.
Sir! We've lost the invisible jet! Why, it's a disaster! At least it wasn't our fault for a change.
Well done, Agent X.
Now we can build our air force of invisible jets! I will rule the world with an iron hand that shows no mercy! I'm still gonna be a general, right? What?! Oh, of course.
A promise is a promise.
Ensign Plover! Why, that traitor.
Quick, empty your pockets.
Maybe there's something we can use to escape.
Let's see.
I have a bubblegum card, a broken rubber band, my lucky marble, this wing nut! It's a souvenir from my favorite crash.
In fact, it was about all that was left.
I have some sinkers, Mr.
McDuck.
And here's a bit of fishing line.
Good! Give them to me.
[Sighing] Call me sentimental, but taking over the world is a dream come true.
Nice cast, Mr.
McDuck.
- [All chattering indistinctly] - Oof! Stop! Stop or I'll blow us all sky high! Wait! He's desperate enough to do anything.
[Chuckling] So am I.
[Both screaming] [Explosion] It's nice to be fishing again.
Aye.
And these fish deserve to be caught.
[Both laugh] [Scrooge] Hurry up.
We have to find Donald's aircraft carrier before dark.
This should close the canopy, I think.
And this button [chuckles] starts the engine.
Say, this is some fancy jet.
Wonder what this button does.
[Both hollering] Launchpad, press that button again! I can't, it's invisible! [Screeching] Look, dear, that must be one of those "no frills" airlines.
[Scrooge] Scrooge McDuck calling Admiral Grimitz.
We have your stolen plane, but we're running out of fuel.
Light up your flight deck for us.
It's Uncle Scrooge! Order the landing lights on, full power.
Aye-aye, sir! [Electric crackling] [Man] It's the missile damage, sir.
Your missile damage, Seaman Duck! They can't see to land.
[Man] They're gonna crash into the sea.
Oh, no! Wait a minute! I have an idea.
The flare guns on the lifeboats.
- What did he say? - What did he say? Aw, forget it.
Follow me, boys.
- [Scrooge] There it is! - Hang on, Mr.
McD.
I'm going in! This time I'm the one who is going to close his eyes.
I can't find the brakes! [Scrooge screaming] [Tires screeching] We did it, admiral! We did it! Well, what do you want? A medal? - Yeah! - Don't worry, Uncle Donald.
We made you a medal.
Out of electronic parts from the supply room.
Not only does it look great, it gets 15 TV channels.
[Audience cheering] Aww, you're the best nephews I could ever have.
[Grunts] Uh, open up the canopy, will you, Launchpad? You got it, Mr.
McD.
[Both yell] - Invisible ejection seats.
- Ohh