ER Episode Scripts

N/A - s02e15

Mobilize with Kocher maneuver.
Divide at pylorus.
Transect stomach TA 90.
ID ligament of Trietz.
Come on.
- My Billroth II has been canceled.
- Good morning to you too.
- Is there a problem? - Your patient developed a fever.
No, a problem with me in this department.
Ever since I left Vucelich's study, I've been underutilized.
When you were working with him, he monopolized your time.
You're back with the teeming masses, and there's lag time while the schedule plays catch-up to your change of fortune.
I see.
- What have we got? -30-year-old male had a bad Valentine's Day.
Threw himself on the El tracks in front of a oncoming train.
Did a good job on himself.
How are his vitals? Sinus tach at 150.
BP's 50 palp.
Bilateral hemothorax, rigid belly, head trauma.
Near amputation, right forearm.
Deformed fracture, left femur.
- Open fracture, lower right extremity.
- Put in chest tube.
I'll do the DPL.
It's a deal.
36 French.
We need four units of O-neg on the rapid infuser.
Pupils are unequal and sluggish.
We need a head CT to rule out a bleed.
No time.
Positive tap.
Do those burr holes blind.
No way, I need a CT first.
Let's shock him.
- I wish I'd thought of that.
- Two hundred! - Clear! - Clear.
- All right.
We've got a rhythm.
- Sinus tach at 160.
Lidocaine 100 IV push.
Dopamine 400 and 500.
Start it at 10! - We've got a pulse.
- I'll take him.
You do the burr holes up in the O.
R.
If not, he's toast.
- He's not stable.
- He's as stable as he's gonna get.
Move.
We have some other sick people if you want them too.
- Wow! What did he have for breakfast? - Something hard to digest.
Did you forget? I'm not on until 11.
We can sleep in.
Yeah.
You're soaked.
Yeah, okay.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
- Yes? - Good morning, Ms.
Lewis.
It's Ms.
Pearline with social services.
- Who? - Ms.
Pearline.
I'm here for your home visit.
- For the adoption.
- What? I worked really late last night.
You could reschedule, but it will take another four to six weeks.
No, no.
Come on up.
Just come up slowly, please.
- Morning.
- Actually, good night.
- Hey, Dr.
Ross.
- Hey.
Still got that extra ticket to the Bulls game next week? I do have two tickets, but they're not extra.
The ones your dad gave you? - I thought you threw those out? - I was but they're mid-court, about 10 rows up.
You guys heard about all the excitement yesterday? - What excitement? - Scottie Pippen came in.
- Here? - He was not.
Actually, he did.
Brought in a kid from his Cabrini Greens tutoring program.
Had a basketball clinic.
Kid took a charge, broke his collarbone.
Nice try, Jerry.
A lot of details, almost believable.
It's the truth.
Look.
I got his autograph.
You know what that's worth? - It's l-N, not E-N.
- No, it's E-N.
It was him.
- Who else was on? - Kid's mom showed up, so Scottie split.
- So nobody else saw him? - I'm heading upstairs.
- Can we watch? - My God, haven't you had that baby yet? You won't have me to make fun of after today.
- I thought you'd work up to your due date.
- I have, and then some.
Doc's gonna induce if nothing happens by Monday.
I'm going up to OB for a non-stress test.
I feel like a damn elephant.
- Elephant's gestation period is two years.
- Oh, shut your mouth.
My interview is not until 4:00.
Benton'll be done by 10:30.
I'll find him.
I won't beg, I'll be dignified.
I won't have a fair shot at this internship unless he rewrites my recommendation.
Ninety applicants for six slots.
- How did you see it? - It was on his desk.
"Has put forth a consistent effort.
" That's what he says about me.
"Has acquired solid technical skills.
" I told you that.
- Several times.
- We've had our differences.
But I've worked my butt off for him.
Where the hell's our train? How soon after intercourse can you get a pregnancy result by blood test? Seven days.
The other applicants are from Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Hopkins.
I've got the home-court advantage, but still.
Wait a second, did you say pregnancy? You think you're pregnant? - We've been really careful.
- I know.
- Did you miss your period? - No, not yet.
I'm just obsessing.
- You don't need this.
- The interview is nerve-racking.
Sorry.
Want to draw some blood? It can wait.
I'm just being paranoid.
You worry about your interview.
- Hey, we need some help! - What happened? - Hey, we need some help here.
- Don't tell me your water broke.
Sprinkler system went berserk.
It's raining cats and dogs, and we can't shut it off! Need a hand here, quick! - Jerry! - Yes.
The whole west wing is getting soaked! - Labor and Delivery and the Nursery? - NICU and Postpartum.
All high-risk women are going to the sixth.
Everyone else is down here.
- How many? - Eight, all in active labor.
Oh, boy.
All right.
Chuny! We need some dry gowns, some warming lamps.
You gotta change.
Blow dryers if you can find any.
- This is a new one.
- This really sucks! Dr.
Ross, this one's pretty ripe.
Is there any time between your contractions? - No, none.
- All right.
Let's get a pelvic bed set up in Trauma 1.
Somebody call Mark.
Coming through! - ICP's 14.
- Final ligature.
Spleen's out.
Suction! So if you're looking to kill yourself, the El tracks'll do the job.
- We're dry.
- BP's 100.
Send it to Pathology.
- What do you wanna tackle next? - Run a small bowel for perforations.
- How does the arm look? - As bad as the rest of him.
- Think you can save this guy? - We're chasing our tails here.
Damn, he's hemorrhaging! - It looks arterial.
- Let's open him up! It's your party, but this is a teaching exercise now.
- What do you mean, teaching exercise? - There's not a life to save.
You wanna bet? Sternal saw! Run up to Delivery.
Take galoshes and an umbrella if you have to.
But find me an extra stash of preemie and term-sized ambu-bags and infant ET tubes.
- Get some bulb syringes.
- You got it! Your baby's head is engaged in the canal.
The membrane isn't ruptured yet, so we'll do an amniotomy to rupture it.
- What's the presentation? - Station two plus, effaced and dilated.
- I'll be right back.
- Yeah.
He went to buy film.
He won't even know where I am! We'll find him.
Just relax.
- Taking an incubator! - Blankets.
You were on yesterday.
Tell Dr.
Ross Scottie Pippen was in here.
Yeah, and so were Jordan and Rodman.
Jerry, Conni and I beat them three-on-three.
It's a monsoon up there.
All fetal monitors are trashed.
- How many do you have? - A few.
We'll rotate them.
High risks went up to six, where I have to be.
Send some residents.
- We'll handle it.
- Who's attending? Good.
Push, push.
That's it! - You know Mark Greene? - Oh, yes.
Membrane ruptured? We had to do it for her.
- Was the head engaged? - Yes.
All right.
Don't want a cord prolapse.
Okay, when you get the urge, I want you to push.
Okay? Okay.
Good.
Seeing a head here.
Here it comes.
Take a deep breath.
Push! - Patient in Exam 2 is ready.
- I'm on my way.
Mrs.
Wilson, you have a beautiful baby boy.
Fundus is firm.
Placenta's coming.
Activity, two.
Pulse, two.
Grimace, two.
One laceration.
Dr.
Greene, will you suture? I think I can handle that.
Apgar is nine.
Check again in five.
Use 2-0 chromic, interrupted suture for the muscularis layer - interlocking for the mucosa.
- We can manage from here, Janet.
- You got other fish to fry.
- Just don't take any chances.
You run into trouble, run them to us.
Six East for all C-sections, understood? - We'll need another bassinet.
- They'll send them down.
No, we need another one now.
- She's having contractions again.
- What? - Why? - I hope you're ready for an encore.
- You're having another.
- I don't believe it! Came in before the sprinklers went.
- Nobody monitored her.
- I had an ultrasound months ago.
I've got ahold of the head.
No, make that the tush.
- This is a breech? I'll deliver.
- No, I'm okay.
I've got a good hold here.
- What's wrong? - Your second baby wants to be different.
So he's gonna come out butt-first.
Now, just push.
Keep the feet out! Good, Christy.
Good, good.
Push.
Good! That's good.
That's really good.
Keep going! Push! Good.
Okay.
Those are the shoulders.
Relax, because I gotta get the head.
- Flex the head! - Push gently.
Good.
Good! Excellent! Nice, nice! Nice work, Mom! There.
Oh, my God! Two of them! Smooth, Mark.
You'd think you delivered a breech every day.
- Page me if you need me.
- Okay.
Suction.
Mom, relax.
The place was a pigsty.
Susie had a bruise from pulling the highchair over.
The more I explained, the phonier it sounded.
I'm sure you're the best adoption candidate they've had all month.
They're sending this guy over this week for work-site interviews.
Please lie.
- Can you take this girl in 3? - We prefer to be called "women.
" Judge for yourself.
With my last two, I had Pitocin and epidural with no complications.
I'd love to pit you-- With the monitor shortage, we don't know if the baby's having distress.
I'm in distress.
If I wanted a natural birth, I'd have stayed home.
What's next? Natural dentistry? Okay, Ms.
Amayo.
Tina.
How are you doing? It hurts.
I'll put these on you for a reading.
Did they tell you about the monitors? I don't know.
There was a lot of stuff.
- Oh, good, a doctor's here.
- Sorry, Tina, they didn't have X-Men.
I'm Dr.
Lewis.
I was just explaining the monitors.
It's been a crazy day for her.
- Your daughter's 13? - She's not our daughter.
We've only known Tina for a few months.
We're adopting her baby.
She called us when the contractions began.
Her mother was out.
- Did you find my momma? - She's still not home.
We'll try again.
- Who examines that? - Your urine specimen? We send it to the lab.
- You'll tell them about my abduction? - Well-- Not that I expect them to have tests to identify alien life.
No, probably not.
If they find anything unusual, maybe the FBI or NASA will listen to them.
They don't take phone calls from victims of extraterrestrial insemination.
- You're pregnant by aliens? - It was so humiliating.
I bet.
Here's one more to go, and this goes with it.
For a pregnancy test.
- Ready for another look? - Could we do two laps? - I want to be at least four centimeters.
- She's very goal-oriented.
Walk on.
I hate men like that.
It gives you false hope.
It's safer to believe that guys like that don't exist.
Finally, fresh recruits.
I thought this shift would never end.
- What's the EBL? - Five liters.
Carter, wanna scrub in? I would, but I have to give a tour of the hospital to the candidates.
Stiff competition.
Had a couple of hours to kill before my interview at 4, so I came by.
I was hoping you managed to get a final draft of my letter of rec out.
One draft, sent it last week.
Great, great.
Great.
Great.
Thanks.
Nice work.
Peter, word's gotten around this is where the resurrection is.
I have some students who wanna see you raise the dead.
They'll have a good view there.
They'll benefit from learning how and why you decided to pursue this hopeless case.
How and why? I saw the guy.
I knew I could fix him.
I went to work.
Pressure's 110/75.
- Good call.
She's abrupted.
- Anytime.
- Yeah, whatever.
- He said he was gonna send some tickets.
Are you still telling that Scottie Pippen story? It's not a story.
Here she comes.
Conni! - Beet soup? - That's what they say.
Crazy.
It's put a lot of women in labor.
It was in the papers.
- What has? - The beet soup at Doc Magoo's.
- Induces labor.
- Come on.
- I read that.
- It's not that far-fetched.
A lot of plants have ergot alkaloid derivatives.
- What do those do? - Make the uterus contract.
- Susan? - Yeah? I've been monitoring Leah Russell.
A few things don't add up.
She hasn't been able to give us a urine sample.
Her chart shows she's had two previous births, but she lives alone.
- She's nervous, underweight.
- You're thinking drugs? I checked with the hospitals.
As a teen she had two crack babies.
One she lost at six months.
One was taken away at birth.
Lead the way.
Here we go again.
Hi, Dad.
- I hate this part! - Try to save your breath.
If you don't get a vasectomy, I swear you're having the next one! How big is this kid? Ease up on the pushing, okay? There's the head.
- Would you please shut up? - She has to go through this herself soon.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
- That's it! - Look at that one.
She's a 10-pounder! I take it back.
You scream all you want! - Suction.
- The baby's lethargic.
Apgar, three.
Hold it! No, no.
All right, let's bag her.
Is something wrong? Did you test positive for diabetes during your prenatal care? What's wrong? Start CPR.
I'm gonna intubate.
Prep an umbilical line and heel-stick a glucose.
- Please? - What is it? This didn't happen before.
You may have developed gestational diabetes during your pregnancy.
- Bolus, two cc's per kilo.
Is she breathing? - Weak respiratory effort.
Give her a 10 cc infusion of D10.
Stick her for another glucose.
- Why isn't she crying? - Your baby's been intubated.
Try and lie back.
Lie back and relax.
Jeanie said that you can't give us a urine sample.
Yeah, I tried.
I suggest you try again because if you can't produce a sample we'll have to put a catheter in to get one.
- Why do you need it? - So we can do a tox screen.
You do them on white women? We do them on everyone who has a history of drug or alcohol abuse.
I suggest you cooperate.
Let me know the results.
- You looked me up.
- Shall we? - You had to tell her? - She's the doctor.
I was just tripping because I was busted before.
- I was a kid then, but now I'm clean.
- Let's find out.
- Pulse ox, 98.
- That's what I want to hear.
Come here, you.
Look at that.
Dr.
Greene, thank you.
Thank you! - Wait, I didn't get it! Do that again.
- Thank you! - Dr.
Ross? - Yeah, yeah.
- Get over here! Come on! - No, no, no.
This is the doctor that saved our little Renee! - I love you.
- All right.
Me too, doc.
I love you! You know what? I love this doctor too! I want a copy of that one.
I'm taking Renee up to ICU to have them check her.
Congratulations.
Yeah, get it on tape.
Pleased to meet you.
John Carter.
Pleased to meet you.
- Ken Matsumitsu.
You're from? - I'm the local guy.
- You're? - From Boston.
Ken's the Howard Hughes Fellow at Harvard.
Congratulations.
- John Carter.
- Andrea Zucker, Stanford.
California.
Explains the tan.
No, I just did 10 months in a clinic in Senegal.
- Oh.
- This is Martin Fisher.
- How are you? - Martin Fisher? - Published in Nature last month.
- That's me.
Okay, guys.
We can all go home.
Did you read it? He cloned tyrosine kinase receptors.
Wow.
Well, shall we, with the tour? Her back is killing her.
What can I do? Roll on your side.
When the contractions start press down on her back to give relief.
- Like this? - Yeah.
Good.
- Is she doing okay? - Yeah, thanks to the two of you.
I hope she's not depending on us too much.
- What do you mean? - She needs a mother herself.
We can only adopt a baby.
We can't take her too.
- Give me the bullet.
- I'm Dr.
Castiglioni, Internal Medicine.
I'm in my 34th week.
I have a scheduled induction for Monday.
My membrane ruptured 40 minutes ago.
I'm fully dilated.
I'll take the express elevator to Labor and Delivery.
I'm sorry, but L and D has maintenance problems.
We're taking all admits in here today.
- You have your hands full.
- Yeah, but we can handle one more.
On my count.
One, two, three.
Sorry, I think you left this behind.
Stage three carcinoma of the breast.
I had a mastectomy six years ago.
Cancer flared up again last spring.
I was started on a CMF chemo regimen and slated for radiation when I found out I was pregnant.
- Any implications for the fetus? - Ultrasounds looked fine.
But methotrexate is contraindicated in the first trimester.
- I won't rest easy till I see this baby.
- It shouldn't be long.
The angels were watching over her.
If I'd had the radiation, she would have gotten a toxic dose.
- You suspended your treatment? - For the first trimester.
I've been on a modified regimen since then.
It wasn't a hard choice.
I've got a matter of months left.
My baby has her whole life ahead.
You were right, doctor.
You are fully dilated.
Call Coburn, tell her we've got one coming up.
Dr.
Coburn? No, please.
I've worked too hard for this delivery to have Coburn anywhere near it.
You're old friends, huh? - Still, all the high-risks have to go up.
- I'm not considered high-risk.
Dr.
Lopez was going to induce me in the birthing center.
Is Ferdie there? I hope you're calling your husband.
The baby is on her way.
My husband's already driving in.
Fernando, you'll never guess where I am.
Let me hand you over to Dr.
Mark Greene.
It's my OB.
Break it to him gently.
He's gonna be jealous.
Look at this, standing room only.
So you got Humpty Dumpty back together again? Getting there.
Marathon surgery.
You run the 20K too? Not since med school.
How does it look? Massive crush injury.
We should amputate.
He'll live.
Might as well keep his arm.
- It's longer than a long shot.
- It won't hurt to try.
She'll thank you.
Patient's mom, she works over in Recovery.
Said to tell you, "God bless.
" Okay, spectators, no intermission.
We're going straight into the next act.
Pulse ox, 97.
I owe you an apology.
Your tox screen came back negative.
I told you I kicked it.
People don't think you can, but I did.
- You must be a strong lady.
- Not enough to take much more of this.
- There she is! - Don't look at me.
I'm a wreck! - This baby's giving you a real workout.
- That's for sure.
I bought you some candy.
We're pretty crowded.
We have to limit visitors.
- But I'm her sister! - Birthing coach and sister.
Okay, just don't stay too long.
Let me look at you.
- Jeanie, have you seen Harper? - Not recently.
She sent a blood test for the woman in Exam 2.
- The alien abduction.
- Yeah, this is so odd.
- I want my mama! - We're with you, Tina.
- Blow! Blow! Go on! - It hurts! That's because your baby's coming.
- Whoa, next door! - Got it! Doing great, doctor.
You're doing great.
Meconium in the fluid.
Amnioinfuse 500 cc's normal saline.
You push.
I'll run the procedure.
Do exactly what she said.
Since then, I've had the most awful nosebleeds.
- Harper, there you are.
- Dr.
Weaver.
What possessed you to run a pregnancy test on this visibly gestational woman? I had a lapse.
I don't know what I was thinking.
Until the hypnosis, I thought I was absent-minded.
Maybe they gotten to you too.
Maybe they beamed up the entire lab.
Her pregnancy test came back negative.
Oh, yes! I told you this was no ordinary conception.
And it's not.
It's pseudocyesis, and a classic case of it.
Ms.
Clarke's pelvic exam confirms the lab's.
She's not pregnant.
But look at her.
Distended abdomen from hyperventilation due to contractions.
- She's got a colon full of gas.
- That's what they always say.
Those creatures blew their interstellar filth into my cavities, and it's hibernating there.
Good choice.
The father-in-waiting thing has changed since the Ricky Ricardo days.
Nice to preserve traditions.
- Excuse me.
- Just a sec.
I know how you feel-- - Excuse me.
- Can't you see we're--? Jerry, right? - I just want to thank you again.
- You're welcome.
Can you stay here for just one minute? One minute, one minute.
- How's the fetal heart rate? -140.
Good variability.
- I'm not progressing.
- You can do it.
- Dr.
Ross! - I'm busy in here.
- He's here, Scottie Pippen.
- Jerry.
Okay, okay, I'll bring him here.
Where'd he go? - Who? - Scottie Pippen.
- Is he kind of a tall guy? - Yeah, you could say that.
- Said to tell everyone, "Thanks.
" - Like they're gonna believe that! - I can't.
I can't.
- Yes, you can.
You are.
Hold your breath, use it to push the baby out.
- I'm gonna die.
- No, you're not.
You're doing beautifully.
Okay, Tina.
One more time, and then you're there.
- You said that before.
- You are doing such a hard thing.
You're doing a great job.
Some grown women can't hang in there like that.
- Really? - Really.
I'm so proud.
Bear down! Bear down! Come on, bear down! Shouldn't be long now.
Did your friend leave? - Yeah.
Can I go to the bathroom? - Sure.
- Let me help you.
- I can do it.
What's wrong? Get this damn stuff away from me.
Your friend bring this? Am I ever gonna kick this stuff? I've been clean for two months.
But you did use crack during your pregnancy? Yeah.
I mean, not too much after the beginning.
I have to let the doctors know.
- Help my partner! He was electrocuted! - Grab that gurney! Come on! Lie him here! - Soaking wet.
What happened? - We were working in standing water.
A 220 line fell.
It must've been hot.
Entrance wound, right palm.
Exit wound on the foot.
Let's try Trauma 2.
- Need a room! - We'll move next door.
- In here! - Careful with the baby.
Can we crowd in? Start him on an IV.
Saline, TKO.
Pulse ox.
Get him on a cardiac monitor.
- Got a good vein here.
- Lidocaine 100 IV push.
What about you? How you doing? When I knocked him away from the ladder, I got a little jolt.
Sit down.
We'll take care of you.
There you go.
She is perfect.
Look at that, picture of health.
Hello, beautiful.
Hello.
- I didn't think it'd be so hard.
- That's why they call it "labor.
" I mean I didn't think it would be so hard to see her when I know.
I love you.
I will always love you.
- Easiest birth I've ever seen.
- We don't give extra credit on the Apgar.
But when they come out reciting Shakespeare.
- He takes after his mom.
- Couldn't have done it without you.
We're still trying to clone your husband.
Could happen.
Little Thomas is a chemistry experiment.
In vitro fertilization.
Miracle baby.
Dr.
Ross? We set up an OB on six.
We'll start transporting the women and their newborns.
We've got one close to delivery.
That's eight mothers to transport and nine healthy newborns.
That's a nice ratio, Dr.
Greene.
Moms did all the work.
Dr.
Ross, this is Mr.
Wilson.
His wife had the twins.
- Hi.
- Dispatch called.
I was on the Berkeley run.
Snowed in out there.
It took three hours to get a relief driver, almost three more to get me back in.
- Want to see your kids? - Sure would.
Come on.
Here you go.
Boys, I'd like you to meet your father.
I'm sorry I wasn't here for you guys.
That's not how it's gonna be.
I'm gonna always be here for you whenever you need me.
And sometimes when you think you don't.
I'm your dad.
And that's my job.
To be there.
You're gonna be a great father.
They say it's all about the kind of start you get.
- She's crowning, Dr.
Ross.
- The crack baby? Excuse me.
Push, push, push.
Good.
Yeah.
You have a little girl.
- Is she okay? - She's beautiful.
- Is she breathing? - Yes, she is.
Apgar, seven.
Head circumference may be on the small side.
- What does that mean? - It means that your daughter, for the moment, seems fine.
You were doing crack while pregnant, which causes developmental problems.
Learning problems we may not know about for years.
I'm going to NICU.
But you're bringing her back, though, right? You're giving her back to me? - I'll get to have her? - Yes, you probably will.
So even though my family was predisposed to law I was the black sheep and decided to go into medicine.
Shoot.
Can I try again? The point is to tie the knot without pulling the clip away from the magnet.
I know.
Mr.
Carter, can you run through the steps of an adrenalectomy? Sure.
Identify the mass by CT.
Make a Kocher incision.
- I almost had it.
- What if that had been a patient and your inept technique caused uncontrolled arterial hemorrhage? I would repair the damage and proceed.
Good answer, Mr.
Carter.
It may not be possible to tie that knot without dropping the magnet.
But you didn't lose your cool, and that matters.
That and your academic records, your board scores and your letters of rec.
- Quite frankly-- - Vucelich sent his standard glowing report.
Still didn't fix the typo in the second paragraph.
It's Dr.
Benton's letter that gives us the most pause.
I am at a loss to explain-- You're one of the first students to survive Dr.
Benton.
But to have him use words like "solid" in connection with surgical technique.
High praise from Benton.
Not to mention "full knowledge of anatomy and diagnostic tools.
" That's tantamount to gushing.
- Are you sure he wrote this? - He did.
Well, you're a most impressive candidate.
But we have many impressive candidates.
One last thing.
Tell us why you want to be a surgeon.
It's not a trick question.
No.
I see people with injury or disease and I know that I can fix them.
So that's what I want to do.
Excuse me, nurse.
How soon before they move her? It shouldn't be too long.
You probably have time.
I'm starving.
I'll run to that diner across the street and get her something to eat.
I love that beet soup I had there last night.
Do you know what that lady in Curtain 1 just said? - What? - I'm out of here.
- You're not gonna join us? - No, sorry.
I gotta see someone.
- Join who? - Leslie! Leslie! He's beautiful.
- You two finally have your family.
- I'm so sorry I missed it.
Thank you, Harris, for everything.
We're making you two the godfathers.
Too good to be true.
Re-check his crit in 30 minutes.
Don't forget, 15 mgs per kilogram per minute.
Page me if his systolic BP drops under 100.
- Carter, what are you doing here? - Brought you dinner.
Tofu, brown rice, veggies on the side.
Thanks.
I know it's been hard lately.
I just wanna thank you, for setting the bar high, for everything.
For being a good example.
The interview went okay, huh? It's hard to say.
I think so.
Is that guy gonna live? Yeah, I think so.
It's just, now that I've seen her.
She's so pretty.
Yes, she is.
But it's also a huge responsibility.
Not that much.
I have a baby, and it's an impossible job.
You never think you're doing well enough.
My mom will help.
I'd pay you guys back someday for the prenatal stuff.
We don't want the money.
You shouldn't change your mind now where everything's so emotional.
Tina! My baby! Oh, look at this! - We tried to find you.
- A boy or a girl? - A girl.
- That's lucky.
- She's just like you.
Lots of hair.
- I think she knows me.
She's got your eyes.
- Look at that.
- I wanna keep her.
Of course you do.
Look at that itty-bitty face.
Excuse me, is there another Hotel Dupree around this area? No, it's the only one.
Problem? No, it's just not the dive I expected.
I'm here to see a guest.
Ray Ross? No, Mr.
Ross is in the bar.
- Why am I not surprised? - But he isn't a guest.
Mr.
Ross owns this hotel.
- Hey.
- Doug.
What a surprise.
- You found me.
- You left your number.
Yeah.
Come on, have a drink.
Listen, Ray, I just wanted to give you these.
I was gonna play along, Ray, like Mom and I always did.
Kind of take your gifts that drop out of the blue.
I decided, no, not gonna let you get away with it.
Not this time.
So.
You're not my father.
A father is someone who was there.
- You never were.
- I know.
I'm sorry.
You and your mother deserved better.
- She did.
- You did too.
- Hey, Jimmy, a bottle of Maker's here.
- Right away.
I'm beat.
I delivered eight babies today.
Yeah.
Sure, I understand.
The night you were born, I swore I was a changed man.
Your mother must have told you how you came into this world.
It's a hell of a story.
She must have told you about the skates, huh? She tell you about the skates? We were at the cabin, and the lake-- - The cabin, the one the bank took back? - Well, that was a mix-up.
You weren't due for another two weeks, and your mother went into labor.
- Right.
- And the lake was frozen over.
The doctor was afraid to drive across the ice.
So there's your mother strapping on skates between contractions.
I thought I'd have to deliver you myself.
- Where is everybody? - You're the last one to clock out.
- It's my last day for a while.
- Good luck.
Excuse me.
Do you have any beet soup tonight? - You want the beet soup? - Surprise! - Oh, they got you good! - They did, didn't they? I hate you guys! I hate you! - Congratulations, any day now.
- We're so happy for you.
- And happy it's not us.
- Well put.
Here you go.
Little Susie liked it.
I hope you do.
One order of beet soup, and we can rush back for Conni's delivery.
I wish! Good shot.
Are you out of breath? No, no, no.
Get out of there! - You're getting slow in your old age.
- Come on, give me a break.
No, you can't spin it! Watch this one.
Better guard.
Score right there.
- Rematch.
Two out of three.
- What do you wanna play for? Tickets to the Bulls game.
One for each of us, all right? You're on.
Let's go.
- Come on.
- All right.
Are you out of breath yet? You need to sit down? Ready? Men are up.
That's a score, champ.
Ready? May the Force be With You