Fargo (2014) Episode Scripts

N/A - A Muddy Road

_ _ _ _ Okay, um-- Oh, shit.
Shit! Shit! Shit! Uh-- No, wait.
T-tell him-- t-tell him I-I'll pay it all back, I-I swear, and-- Ah.
Ah! Oh, dear.
Please.
For the love-- I got kids.
Don't move.
Please! Please! Please! They won't-- She won't stop, you know? Oh! Chill-Challenge.
First prize is three fun-filled days in Bismarck.
So get your entries in Lickety-Split Pleased to meet ya.
So is this where he worked? Yeah, in Accounting.
Just typin' away, and this other fella comes in, drags poor Phil out by the necktie.
Nice guy too, super.
Such a pity.
- Yeah.
- Gambling problem, I heard.
You don't say.
I heard drugs.
I heard he, like, slept with a 13-year-old girl.
For Pete's sake, Bob, don't spread rumors about the poor man.
Nah, it was gambling, for sure.
I got the security tape cued up downstairs.
Wanna see that? Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
Hard to tell much.
Like I said.
Can you freeze it there? You say you found the victim's clothes in the garage? Phil? Yeah.
Lab says the fella cut 'em off with a knife.
Damn peculiar.
So you think this is your guy? The one killed all those people over in Bemidji? Could be.
He's a nasty enough fella.
Who are you? Great job! Okay.
In through the nose and out through the mouth.
Ladies, you are looking great, okay? Keep up the good work.
Well, hello, you.
You got bronzer on your blackmail note.
Listen, listen, listen.
I swear on my-- You couldn't find a smaller room for us to talk in? What? - Nothing.
- Look, this-- this whole thing, huge mistake, okay? I never meant-- See, I just-- I just-- I just wanted something for-- for Don, you know? You done? Here it is.
You're screwed.
You made a choice, and this is the consequence.
Me, I'm the consequence.
Please.
Please don't tell Helena.
I don't work for Helena.
I work for her husband, Stavros Milos, the Supermarket King.
Oh, my God! Uh-- uh-- oh! Oh.
Oh! - Here, squeeze this.
- Oh! Yeah.
Ugh! Oh, no.
You ready? I've got two questions and one comment, understand? First question, why $43,613? Gonna start a Turkish bath.
See, back in the Ottoman Empire-- Second question, what do you know? About what? Stavros, the guy you're blackmailing.
You wrote a note.
"I know about the money.
" What do you know? Uh, well, nothing really.
I mean, Helena told the story so much-- about her husband and how he lies about his money.
So you're blackmailing a guy for something, but you don't know what it is? You ready for the comment? You're an idiot.
Good news, I'm taking over.
Taking over what? The blackmail.
You work for the guy.
Exactly.
And now you work for me.
I'm confused.
That's okay, I'm not.
The first thing we need is a new blackmail letter.
Hey, Maggie.
Lieutenant in? Bathroom.
What? He's in the bathroom.
Ah.
Um, Lieutenant? What? I'm takin' a dump.
Uh, yeah, so listen, about that triple homicide over in Bemidji-- Oh, for Christ's sake.
Talk to your Shift Commander.
Well, yeah, I would, you know, but he don't listen to me.
Who is this, Dan Hoskins? Uh, no, sir.
- Gus Grimly.
- Grimly? For Christ's sake, aren't you Animal Control? No.
I just sub for those fellas sometimes.
So, listen, I pulled this car over the other night, speeder, and, uh, well, I let the guy go with a warning, but then-- Well, turns out, I ran the fella's plates-- on account of what you said at the briefing about watchin' our Ps and Qs, and, well, it turns out that the car belongs to one of the victims.
- One of the-- - What? Are you kiddin' me? No sir.
Uh, Lester Nygaard.
- That's who the car - Mm-hmm.
is registered to, but he wasn't driving, obviously, so I'm thinking it may be-- might be the killer.
Shut up.
For Christ's sake, you pulled over a stolen car and let the guy go - with a warning.
- Well-- well, no, see-- it wasn't, you know, listed as stolen, you know, so-- and now, I checked this morning, and it's impounded, - as of yesterday, so-- - Stop! It's goddamn Sioux Falls all over again.
Yes, sir.
W-what's Sioux Falls? Shut up.
You're gonna look through every goddamn mug book in the state.
- Yes, sir.
- And you're gonna find this guy.
- Yes, sir.
- And you're gonna call Bemidji.
And you're gonna tell them that you screwed up-- you-- absolving the rest of us of any dipshittery.
Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.
_ He can afford it, your brother.
Kitty said he just got a big promotion after only working there a year.
Kitty said they also got one of those fancy, new surround-sound systems.
Guess I married the wrong Nygaard.
What? What are you gonna do? You can't even face me when we're having sex.
Lester, I need you to get down on the ground.
Hold on.
Don't-- There's nothing down-- Lester, on the ground.
I didn't do nothing.
I didn't-- I just got home.
I just got home and-- Now, hold on.
Hold on, don't-- There's nothing down there.
This-- That is not-- I didn't do nothing! I-I didn't do nothing! I just came home.
I just came-- Oh, jeez.
Yeah, so I closed it out with a spare and a strike, 222.
Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
- Lester.
Well, I'll be.
Hey, uh, Lester.
I should've called, I guess, huh? Please, it-- What can we do for ya? Well, I thought I'd do some work.
You know, get back to it.
You're so brave.
Geez, you think you're ready? Think so, yeah, I mean, you can't just sit around the house, you know? Good.
Okay.
Uh, you want to do some filing or-- Uh, I was gonna run out to see Gina Hess.
- Who's that? - The widow Hess.
I got some papers for her to sign.
Yeah.
On account of Sam, her husband.
He got murdered? Bo! Sorry, was that insensitive? Anyways, did you want to take that over to her? Which'd actually help me out a lot, 'cause I got a dentist thing, you know, so-- Um But, I mean, if you're not ready-- No, I'll-- It's the 614C, right? And D, yeah.
Did you get the soup I sent you? Oh, yes, thank you.
Well, I better grab those forms.
Mm-hmm.
_ Hey, look.
Come on.
Got it.
Hey.
What you doing here, loser? Yeah, loser.
What you doing here? Come on, boys.
I'm just here to see your mom.
Yeah? Why, you want to do her? Yeah, loser, you gonna-- Wait.
He's not really gonna have sex with our ma, is he? He better not.
Nobody's-- Goddamn it, get off the guy.
And quit shooting up the lawn sign.
Never gonna sell this place, you keep filling it with arrows.
Yeah, they've sure got a lot of energy, huh? They're wolves.
What do you want? Well-- well, ma'am, I'm-- My name is Lester Nygaard, and I'm from Munk Insurance.
Oh.
Oh, well, why wouldn't you say so? - Yeah, come on in.
- Thank you.
Do you want a whiskey? Oh, uh-- - Have a seat.
- Oh, thank you.
Sorry about the boys.
They're animals.
- Oh.
- Really, they fart on everything-- the walls, each other.
When do I get my money? Uh Can I-- can I-- - Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Well, um, first of all, I would just like to say how sorry I am - Mm.
- about your husband.
Uh, he-- We went to high school together, and-- Yeah, that's sweet, but about the money? Yeah.
Uh, well, I have some forms.
Now, in cases where the deceased was killed-- murdered, I mean-- - Mm-hmm.
- Um, the process is a little different.
- What do you mean? - Well-- And I'm going through this myself-- we have to wait for the coroner to-- Wait a minute, you're that guy.
I saw you at the cemetery.
Oh, yeah, that's-- Your wife was killed, right? And the Chief of Police.
He was murdered at your house, right? Yeah.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
I think you better have that whiskey.
You should get back out there.
You know, date.
You're not a bad looking guy.
Little small maybe.
Did you like her? Your wife.
My husband was-- Well, you knew him, right? Didn't get better.
Yeah.
How did you-- - In Vegas.
- Oh.
I was a dancer.
Well, a stripper, if we're being honest.
You ever been to a strip club? No.
No.
- Seriously? - No, I-I mean, you know, I always wanted to, but-- Well, I was good.
Yeah.
I got great tits.
- And I'm super - Oh, wow.
flexible.
I'm just gonna keep on crawling, now, baby - Hi.
- Hi.
And that is how I met Sam.
And he started flashing all this money around, and telling me how he was gonna take me away from it all, blah, blah, blah.
I was 19, so stupid.
Now here I am, stuck in The Yukon with my two mongoloid sons.
Oh, they're not so bad.
I've taken shits I want to live with more than them.
Yeah.
wanna crawl up to your door - Now-- - So, tell me - Um-- - handsome Oh.
what's a girl gotta do to get that money quick? 'Cause I will do anything.
Ah! Not again.
Oh, Jesus! I'm just gonna keep on crawling, now, baby until the day I die What'll it be, Stretch? Need some Adderall.
You got a test, is that it? Big final.
Need to pull an all-nighter.
Exactly, high dosage too.
Just pretend I'm a 300-pound nine-year-old who can't finish a sentence.
Here we go.
Don't take two of these, think you're gonna nap.
It's basically speed.
So why don't we say-- That'll work.
How 'bout a Zombie Kit? What's that, now? Zombie Kit.
Shotgun, machete, some Bactine.
It's a side business.
I make up these knapsacks for the zombie apocalypse.
You know, in case the undead come back to life and the world gets all dog-eat-dog.
It's already dog-eat-dog, friend.
Not sure what worse a bunch a zombies could do.
Oh, my gosh, look at you.
Oh! Oh, my gosh, look at you.
So that's your uniform then? Yeah, yeah, this is it.
And you got a gun an everything.
Nah, it's made out of wood.
Seriously? No, no, it's a real gun.
Oh.
Oh, so how's your dad, then? Great.
Yeah, still got the restaurant, so-- - Fun.
- Yeah.
So, I heard about what happened.
The murders.
- Geez.
- Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a muddy road, so-- I bet.
You dating anyone? Me? No.
No, you know me, just an old ship captain.
You know, I'm married to the sea.
So you live in St.
Paul then? Yeah, moved, like, right after high school.
Nothin' ever happens in Bemidji, you know? And Ted got the job.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
How's Ted? Good.
We're divorced now, on account of he had intercourse with his physical therapist.
- Aw, geez.
- But I'm doing good.
Great, really.
Been meeting men on the internet.
- Online dating? - Oh, yeah.
So that's been fun.
Really? Cause sometimes, you know, you hear stories, so-- Well, from time to time, you get a bad egg.
Like, there was a fella had a harelip.
And another stole all my panties.
- But then I met Roger.
- Mm.
And we've been dating about six months now.
He took me to Acapulco - Ooh.
- Yeah! Mm, except he got a spider bite, like, on his neck.
And at first, we thought it was a mosquito, but it turns out the spider laid eggs in there or something, 'cause we were in the middle of doin' it, and all these baby spiders popped outta his neck.
I'm sorry.
- Geez.
- Yeah.
Lesson learned, you know? From now on, I am staying right here in Minnesota.
Sounds right.
So you girls ready to order some food? King! Here, King! King! Here, King! Kingy, The King! King! Here, boy! Here, King! King! Come to daddy.
Kingy, The King! Where's my little monster? Here, boy! Come on, King.
King! What the hell? King! Before the worst happens, call the best, Bo Munk Insurance.
So come on down to Bo Munk Insurance and see me, Bo Munk, before it's too late.
Geez.
Ooh.
Oh.
All right, then.
That's lunchtime.
Oh, God.
Gotta get my roast beef on.
Ah oh.
Lester? Uh, we're all of us going for Arby's.
Do you-- Can I bring you anything? Uh, no.
No, thank you.
Okay, well, see you in a bit then.
Oh! You scared me there.
I thought the place was-- I-I-I was in-- Oh.
Uh-- Huh.
It's-- Excuse me.
- Yello.
- Uh, Mr.
Nygaard.
This is Lester.
Yeah, Mr.
Nygaard, this is Duluth Impound.
Just want to let you know we got your car.
Uh, pardon? Your car, license 628633QI, got towed yesterday from Phoenix Farms on Elm.
- In Duluth? - Yes, sir.
Oh, just take anything you like.
- So what do I gotta-- - Just need proof of current registration and $150 and we'll release the car to you.
- O-okay, well-- - Cash only, of course.
Thanks for calling.
Yeah, remember, cash only.
Yeah.
So, uh, what can I do for you fellas then? Cause, uh, we're kind of busy right now.
Hmm? What's that? No, sorry, I'm-- Sam Hess.
Are you fellas, uh, family of his? - Lester.
- Hmm? We saw you with the widow.
Looked like you were having a party.
Were you celebrating, maybe? Come on.
Guy-- I got a deaf cousin.
Oh, uh, hi.
Uh, excuse me.
Uh-- Sorry about the door.
Not sure how that happened.
Not interrupting anything? No, no, no, just giving these guys a quote.
So, like I said, you know, it's 300 a year - Mm-hmm.
- plus 200 up front.
- Okay.
- Look through that, - and give me a call.
- Sounds good.
Talk soon, Lester.
Deputy.
Who are those fellas, then? What's that? Not from around here, I'm guessing.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
From the city, I think.
Said they were going to-- where was it again? Mexico, yeah.
Had some questions about vacation insurance.
So speaking of insurance.
Now, look, I-I talked to Bill, so if this is about the case then-- Oh, no.
I'm just looking for a little advice.
With Vern dead-- and I know, we're not talking specifics-- but with him dyin', I got to thinkin'.
You know, I'm a single person, but I got my dad and stuff.
So I got to thinkin', what would happen to him then? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
No-- Yeah, uh, very-- Because a lot of girls your age, they-- they don't think about these things.
You know, the-- posthumous and so on.
So I thought I'd come see you, you know, maybe buy a policy.
- Oh.
- And I got all my info here, you know, Social Security and the like.
Oh, geez.
I'm sorry.
Need some help with that? No, I-I got it.
Okay, well, uh Okay, wow.
Uh I mean, I-I got a lot of-- you know, there are lots of choices, policy-wise.
Course, I could give you the whole long speech.
Please, I got time.
Well, I could give you the whole long speech, but-- meh, you know, it's-- it's-- it's-- it's all in here, all the details, really.
Oh.
Oh, and-- I gotta close up real soon.
Okay.
Thank you for your time.
That's okay.
Uh look over all that stuff, and give me a call.
Bye.
He killed my goddamn dog.
You said you were gonna find him.
He raised his price.
A million dollars? He killed my damn dog and now he wants a million dollars? "Eat a turd" is my response.
And if it's your ex-wife? Son, you think my ex-wife killed the damn dog? It wasn't the wife, ass-hat.
She's mean, but she got a human heart in her chest.
Hell, she loved the damn animal more than me.
No, this is different.
Some sick bastard gets off on hurting little things.
Who else knows about the money? Nobody.
Nothing to know.
Must be something, or he wouldn't be blackmailing you.
No, nobody knows.
Nobody can know.
It's impossible.
Meaning? You like that? Saint Lawrence.
Patron saint of hard asses.
Burned alive by the Romans.
You know what he said? "Turn me over.
I'm done on this side.
" That's a goddamn saint.
You Greek Orthodox? Why, cause I'm Greek? Let's just say God and I have a-- You ever make a New Year's resolution? Stop smoking, lose weight, and then-- Hell, I don't know.
You're the expert.
I want the damn dog killer found.
I'd like to move onto the property until this thing's over.
He came to the house once.
He might do it again.
There's an in-law next to the garage.
Semenchko will show you.
But I am losin' patience.
Get it done.
Goddamn hot in here.
You looked through all those? What? It's just-- Your dad made a mistake.
I let a guy go that I shouldn't have.
And now, I gotta call this other, uh, jurisdiction and tell 'em that, uh, 'cause of me, um, their suspect got away.
Hmm.
Probably better to do it in person, don't you think? _ What's this then? - Our suspect.
- Oh, yeah? Security camera caught him kidnappin' the naked fella.
- Kidnapped him naked? - No, dressed.
Phil McCormick.
Our perp cut his clothes off in the parking garage.
No kiddin'.
Yeah, so here's the thing, I took the photo and I showed it to Lester.
- Did what? - Not officially.
No, I told him I was interested in some insurance, which is true, and then I just happened to let him see the photo, and you should've seen his face.
I mean, it's like he saw a ghost.
Lester knows this fella, all right, and not from some casual chat.
Gotta say, I'm super ticked here.
Yeah, okay, but before you-- I told you, don't pester the guy-- I said he's not a-- And then what do you-- I never said he was-- And then what do you do? The next day even? Yeah, but, I mean, what if he is involved, you know? I mean, think about it.
No! The guy just lost his wife, and you're boxin' his ears.
- Yeah, I know, but-- - Yeah.
Solve the naked guy.
That's the case I gave you.
- But-- - If this is your suspect, put out an APB and we'll get him in.
Sure, but, you know, what if he and Lester are-- You know, just tell them the truth, you know, and say you're sorry.
What you always tell me.
You're a good girl.
As far as you know.
All right, just sit there.
I'll-- I'll be back.
Yeah, hi.
I'm-- I just drove over from Duluth PD.
I need to speak with someone about Lester Nygaard.
Hey.
Yeah, hi.
I'm Deputy Solverson.
What can I do for you? Well, um-- Maybe we should talk at my desk.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
- Yeah? Okay.
Have a seat.
You want some coffee? The guys just brewed a pot, so-- Uh, no, I-I just got to-- - I'm good.
- Okay.
So, uh-- three days back, I'm on patrol, you know, and pull this guy over.
Silver Taurus, ran a stop sign, and I, uh I gave him a warning, see, but then-- I don't know, I just-- I had a feelin'.
What kind of feeling? A bad feelin', real suspicious-like.
So I ran his plates, and it turns out that the car was registered to one of your victims.
- What? - Yeah, Lester Nygaard.
Son of a-- He told me his car was in the shop, so-- - Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
Well, here's the thing.
Lester wasn't driving.
Now, I know that now because I checked the plate, - but at the time, I-- - This fella maybe? Holy cow.
Yeah.
That's-- I-I think that's him.
- How did you-- - Security camera, caught him over St.
Paul kidnapping an accountant.
- No kidding.
- Yeah.
So, listen, one thing I'm not quite clear on, you said you only found out later that it wasn't Lester driving, but-- I mean, you checked the fella's license and registration, didn't ya? Well, um You see, uh I, uh, I asked, but he threatened me, and I-- It's-- it's-- it's-- I know, it's no excuse, but, um, I-- He was a really dangerous looking fella, and he had these really scary, uh, eyes, and I just-- Dad? Yeah? Could I get a dollar for the vending machine? Yeah, um-- Hold on.
Actually, they-- they give us these tokens.
Just put that in the coin slot.
Great, thanks.
How old? Greta? Yeah, 12.
She's a real good kid.
Her mom at home? No.
It's just us.
Ten years now.
They're out of M&M's.
Ah.
So you two drove all the way from Duluth, huh? Yeah.
Well, uh I was gonna grab dinner.
There's a good burger place nearby, so you two want to join me before you head back? Oh, no.
No, no, no.
We don't want to be a bother.
It's no bother.
We'll talk about the guy, you know, see what you remember.
Maybe a clue drops out.
It's Lou's.
It's just a couple blocks up the street.
Let me just put an APB out on this guy, and I'll-- I'll be right there.
She seemed nice, huh? What? Ay, caramba.
Just you two? No, a very pretty lady will be joining us.
Duluth PD.
Yes, sir.
You associated with Ben Schmidt? Think he's a lieutenant now.
Yes, sir.
He's my boss.
Kind of a prick.
That's the one.
Yeah.
Yeah, we had a deal together once in Sioux Falls.
Joint task force situation.
Boy, that was a rodeo.
Hey, dad.
Hey, sweetie.
Think I'm gonna need a milkshake tonight.
Better make it a double.
Me too? Yeah, okay.
You gotta eat something green.
Same here, and some burgers all around.
Sounds good.
So it's a bit strange, huh? This Lester fella never reporting his car was stolen.
It is, yeah.
Pretty sure he's mixed up in some nasty business.
So you got a boyfriend, then? No.
Pretty girl like you? Too young for a boyfriend.
Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.
Hey, you ever heard of a spider layin' eggs in a person's neck? What's that now? Friend of mine said it happened to a friend of hers.
Gross.
Yeah.
Said they were-- He was sleepin', and all these baby spiders just ran right out.
Not sure I want to live in a world where something like that can happen to a person.
I put bourbon in one of 'em.
Whoever finds it wins a prize.
He's only kidding.
Oh, wait.
No, I win.
Burgers'll be right up.
Thank you.
Oh.
Hey there, Lester.
Hey.
So which one makes the biggest hole? "And behold, the daughter of Pharaoh came down to wash herself in the river, and her maids walked by the river's brink, and when she saw the basket in the sedges, she sent one of her maids for it.
And when it was brought, she opened it, and saw within an infant crying.
And having compassion on it, she said, 'This is one of the babes of the Hebrews.
' and she adopted him for a son, and called him Moses, saying, 'Because I took him out of the water.
' one day, after Moses had grown up, he went out among his people and saw their affliction.
He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, his brethren.
Looking this way and that way, and seeing no people, Moses slew the Egyptian and hid him in the sand.
" _