Fishing Impossible Episode Scripts

N/A - Episode 4

1 CHARLIE: This is Fishing Impossible.
Ahhh! Whoa! We're three fishing fanatics on an epic adventure.
Yes, fish! We're heading to some of the world's most extreme destinations to catch the most extraordinary fish.
(KISSES) (LAUGHS) But the creatures we're after don't make it easy, so we'll need to go to incredible lengths to catch the uncatchable.
This is Jay.
He's obsessed with free diving and spear fishing and is as tough as a nut.
Course I am! I'm the Cornish man.
This is Blowfish, a marine biologist.
This is a vermilion rock cod.
He likes to catch fish with his bare hands.
Blimey, he's huge! Look at that! (CHUCKLES) And I'm Charlie, the level-headed one.
Level-headed, that is, until I get a big bite.
(CHUCKLES) Lashing down and we're attached to something absolutely ginormous! (YELLING) As a pilot, I've flown all over the world.
But this is the furthest I've ever come to catch a fish.
We're flying over Patagonia, at the southern end of South America, and we're on our way to the Falkland Islands that lie off the southern tip of Argentina.
12,000 km from home, we're on the hunt for a creature so rare and so valuable it's known as white gold - the Patagonian toothfish.
It's going to take all of our ingenuity, a real team effort.
Nice and steady, Charlie, steady.
That's it.
Honestly, we've come up with some stupid ideas, but this has got to be right up there.
It's going to bring us together (LAUGHS) Help! Somebody help! I'm coming! I'm coming! and it's going to tear us apart.
It's not a competition.
We're not fishing singly.
I'm not saying it's a competition, but what am I doing on this? (LAUGHING) Mate, this is insane.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
Boys, I've brought you to the southern tip of South America, literally the end of the world.
The next thing we reach from here if we go southbound is Antarctica.
They are, like, the fiercest seas and waves on the planet.
Yeah, the Cape Horn, the shipping lane is notorious for being really, really dangerous, and we're going up there fishing for a fish that lives deep down in those waters.
It's a fish I heard about through the chef grapevine.
It's meant to be one of the tastiest, most succulent fish on the planet, the Patagonian toothfish.
Sweet.
Toothfish live at depths of up to two kilometres in the wild South Atlantic.
They're so tough to catch and so in demand by restaurants they sell for £100 a kilo.
The only people who target toothfish are commercial fishermen using specialised boats, lines and hooks.
Our mission is to become the first-ever amateur anglers to catch a Patagonian toothfish.
Rough seas, violent weather and the ultimate deep-sea fish.
This won't be easy.
The Falklands, and we're arriving at the capital of Port Stanley.
Fewer than 3,000 people live on these barren islands, but fishermen here catch 200,000 tonnes of fish a year.
It's from here that we'll set off tonight on our ultimate deep-sea challenge.
I sense that the boys are getting a bit jittery, so I think we need some fun before the hard work begins.
Listen, you two, this is some of the best sea-trout fishing in the world here, like, genuinely.
So let's go and enjoy it.
Right, boys, I think we've found ourselves a little group of trout here.
Do you agree? Yeah.
Yes, he's on! Yes, Jay.
Go on, Jay! Hang on, mate, hang on.
Yeah.
Charlie! Good boy.
Give us your rod, Charlie, mate.
He's a beauty.
He's nice.
Yeah, he is nice.
Don't lose him, Charlie.
I will not.
Don't worry.
Wow.
Look at that.
Beautiful fish.
My first fish in the Falklands.
Was that on the spinner? Yeah.
Well done.
Beautiful.
He's in good nick.
Let's let him go to fight another day.
Yeah.
Spin him off the other way.
See you later, my friend.
There he goes! Boom! Straight into the rock.
Typical Cornish luck.
We can't let Jay have all the glory.
But rod-and-line novice Blowfish is already doubting himself.
I feel at a distinct and significant disadvantage here.
How are you? You can still count the number of times I've fished on one hand.
Yeah, but, Fish, Fish, Fish, Fish You know fish! Don't give up now.
Keep casting that rod.
Literally, without knowing it, Fish, you are one of the world's A fisherman waiting to happen? You're one of the world's greatest fishermen without realising it.
You're yet to be discovered.
Well, I'm gonna carry on fishing, because I'm enjoying myself.
Trout in the Falklands are thriving, but amazingly were only introduced from Britain and Chile in the 1940s.
Yeah! He's on! (LAUGHS) Go on, Charlie! (LAUGHS) Whoa! He's jumping.
Did you see that? Hey! Got a bit of fight in him.
Come on! (LAUGHS) Yeah! Landed? Yeah, mate, he's a beautiful fish.
On the little shrimp fly.
Oh, wow.
When I woke up this morning, I didn't expect a beautiful, beautiful Falklands trout like that.
Look at that.
What I'm gonna do is put him back.
Notice how these two are being really quiet.
No support, no help.
Bit of jealousy, I think.
Oi! Yeah.
(LAUGHING) (STAMMERS) I've caught one already, I'll have you know.
I'm joking.
Boom! Yes.
Yes! Seeing Charlie with the fly rod in his hand and he's got his waistcoat on with all his bits and pieces in and he's (PANTING) He's in hog's heaven.
Me, I'm just practising my casting.
Maybe one day I'll land a fish.
(ROD CREAKS) Whoa, hello, hey-oh, hey-oh! Sunshine! Yes, Fish.
Reel it in! (STAMMERS) Do I keep spinning it? It's a big one! Oh, he's off, now he's on! What am I doing? What am I doing? Keep the rod tip high.
Keep the rod tip high! OK.
Yes, Fish! (LAUGHS) Help! Somebody help! I'm coming, I'm coming! Oh, he's a big 'un! He's a big 'un! Yes, Fish! Flipped beans.
Flipped beans! Someone give me a hand! Help! Mum! Dad! Uncle Charlie! Uncle Jay! Help! Get him up! Get him in the net, Jay, lad.
Oh, he's going for a run! Bring him in! Look at the size of him! He's a monster! Yes! Get him in! He's bagged! He's bagged! (LAUGHING) Look at that! Yeah, look at that! He is huge.
He's a lovely one! Oh! Fish! (LAUGHS) Yes! I told you to carry on.
Didn't see that one coming! He's absolutely massive.
(LAUGHING) I was a bit confused there.
Fish, he's beautiful! Perseverance, Fish, and it's paid off, see? I didn't even know that was coming.
(LAUGHS) That is the biggest fish by miles! You ready You ready to hold him? Hang on, send Yeah, send him to the proud father.
(SIGHS) There we go.
Is that your first? Yes! (LAUGHING) Whoa! Look at the boy! Mate, he is beautiful.
Yeah, absolutely beautiful.
What about that, then, lads? Yeah.
Boys, I can't believe him.
Look at him.
What a trout! Yeah.
Our biggest.
Fish! (LAUGHS) I don't know what happened there.
2.
5lb, 3lb, maybe? Yeah? Is that a nice-sized trout? That is lovely.
Is that the fish of the day? Yeah.
Absolutely.
I'm really pleased with that.
Give him a kiss.
Yes! Lovely.
Really pleased with that.
Off you go, big man.
Go on! Wa-hey! Good charge-off! Well done, Fish.
Yeah.
One fish each? Yeah.
That was a good morning's fishing.
That was good.
Maybe I'll teach you guys some tips about fishing now.
Yeah.
No, no, let's not get cocky.
(LAUGHS) Sorry.
I am chuffed for you, Fish.
All right, Fish.
Really chuffed.
I'm still giggling! Yes.
We're just hours away from our voyage into the perilous South Atlantic to catch the deep-sea Patagonian toothfish.
Tonight, we're hitching a ride on a ship, and I've tracked down a genuine expert for some last-minute tips.
I'm here to meet a guy called Joost, who is the, uh basically the leading authority on Patagonian toothfish.
Where are we gonna go and fish for these? You find these fish in waters deeper than about 1,000 metres or more, and the darker the block, the greater the catch.
Here? Yeah.
I wanna go here.
OK.
Got where I'm going.
I know you said we might be able to borrow your boat.
Is that still a valid option? Yeah.
OK, and it's going to be good for us to fish off? Well, I would hope so.
The captain, I think, has agreed, so, um, yeah.
While I'm getting us a boat, Jay hopes he has come up with a human-powered method of reeling up over a kilometre of fishing line from off the seabed.
He's commandeered a local to build him something quite unusual.
Bus driver John Birmingham is also the island's resident handyman.
I really like it.
I have made a wooden wheel and it's pretty much like a very large cotton reel.
It is attached to the hub of a normal pushbike.
So, basically, essentially, this, here, is gonna be the fishing reel.
This is the fishing reel.
Amazing.
Got a light here, my fishing contraption there, my fishing device, and I get to sit down.
And you get to sit down! And it's got its own lubrication there.
Yeah, I like it.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) You are the Nutty Professor of the island.
I don't think so.
(LAUGHS) My wife thinks I'm something else.
Does she? Yes.
Meanwhile, Blowfish is certain a fish trap is going to work better than a longline.
Look at that! Hopefully it will do the job.
That is a beast.
It's all built from recycled material.
The net as well? The net, too, yes, all recycled.
There's no chance a toothfish is gonna go through that, is it? Nah.
It's too big, right? If you get any fish, it should support it.
What do you mean, "If"? When we get fish.
When you get a fish, it will support it.
Yeah.
The toothfish will smell the bait, come in from where he is, down here, and then, bang, right in through there.
Blowfish's trap is ready, and our two-kilometre fishing lines are ready.
It's time for us to hit the open sea.
CHARLIE: We have a ship.
We have a plan.
Now it's just time to put everything into action.
This 70m boat normally works as a fishing patrol vessel, but we've taken it over for Operation Toothfish.
What do you think, gentlemen? BLOWFISH: That's the boy, that is.
Protegat.
That's a proper vessel.
Happy? JAY: Very happy.
Look at the size of it! Yeah, exactly.
It's massive, isn't it? Joost, our fisheries man, has given us this especially so we can go and catch toothfish on it.
CAPTAIN: OK, chaps, let's go! Yeah.
All right! He's not messing around! Here we go.
Where's the captain? I'm the captain, Charlie.
I'm Charlie.
You're Charlie? I'm Charlie.
Two Charlies.
Two Charlies.
Jay.
Jay.
Call me Fish.
Fish.
Yeah.
Welcome aboard the Protegat and we're just gonna go out and see if we can catch a toothfish, I think! This huge ship will be our home for the next two days.
It'll be nice to get inside.
It's chilly.
We'll sail 160km overnight to the best deep-sea fishing spot and start our mission at first light.
(LAUGHING) So, this is it, gentlemen! Finally! We have a boat and we're gonna catch these toothfish.
Forward, mate, forward.
I'm planning to use a longline.
It's what commercial fishermen use, but they have hundreds of hooks and mechanised winches.
I want to be the first recreational fisherman to catch a toothfish.
That means fewer hooks and no fancy machinery, just lots of bait and some help from Jay's remarkable bicycle contraption to reel the line in.
I think we'll put more bait on this than we're actually using.
Mm.
A combination of squid and sardine, and then maybe tie some bait on the bottom here? I'm convinced that carefully-positioned bait will attract the toothfish to our lines.
Anything that's fishy and smelly Mm-hm.
a pair of your socks or something, mate.
(LAUGHS) At sunrise, we're up and baiting our longline.
The plan is to get it down as quickly as possible to give us maximum time to catch fish.
This is just what I want on my hands before breakfast.
What? Bit of sardine? Yeah.
They're nice, though.
Look at them.
You've got kippers for breakfast, anyway.
Beautiful.
Oh, that is so grim.
Then we attach a weight that will take the line more than 1,00om to the bottom of the ocean.
Get everything clear.
We need all the baits clear of that netting, and the squid, Fish Yep.
This is toothfishing.
Here we go, boys.
Three, two, one So far, it's classic longlining, but fishing at this depth is totally new to me.
The weight's gone.
You're joking? Nope.
Right, pull it back in.
Ugh, one of the knots snapped.
Hold that.
No, it was just a clip.
It was that metal clip.
It was the metal clip.
Yeah.
Fine.
At least we learn.
Time for take two.
Yeah.
OK, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Well, there she goes.
Yeah, she's spinning now.
She's spinning down.
Bait's going down at 8:23 in the morning.
We're going to leave the smelly bait for a good few hours to attract toothfish.
I'm on the bottom! Are you? Yeah, I'm on the bottom.
But the real challenge will come when we have to pull the heavy line up with no mechanical help.
Thinking about it, just sitting here realising how much line I've left out That's going to take a long time to bring that back up.
Now all we can do is wait.
It's gone super-tight.
Something seems to be happening.
That is taut, isn't it? I think we should bring it in.
It might even have a toothfish on the end.
Let's bring it in.
It's D-Day for Jay's human-powered fishing reel.
Right, this, basically, is gonna work as the fishing reel.
We're going to pedal and cycle the line up.
Is this going to work? Yeah, it's gonna work.
Right, that's the kind of speed, Charlie.
Are you having a laugh? I can't believe I'm doing this.
Whoa, that's too quick.
That's it, that's it.
Slow.
Nice and steady, mate.
Nice and steady.
But I've got to admit Jay's plan might have legs.
Yeah, it's working.
It's working! (LAUGHS) Let's hope mine are up to the job.
It's coming up nice.
Nice and steady, Charlie.
That's it.
(GROANS) Oh, man! Honestly, we've come up with some stupid ideas, but this has got to be right up there.
In the open ocean, 160km off the coast of the Falklands, I'm convinced we've caught a toothfish.
We've been pedalling for 20 minutes, hauling our catch from over a kilometre deep.
(LINE SNAPS) Oh! It's gone! There could have been a toothfish on that.
(ALL GROANING) The line snapping is the last thing I expected.
I'm sure we had a toothfish on the end.
(GROANS) Don't worry about it.
Let's go and square out another idea.
I'll tell you an idea right here and now.
Yeah.
Let's get my trap in the water.
Let's have a look.
Look around.
Blowfish wants to try out his trap, but I'm dead set on getting another line down.
If we do, we can't risk the same thing happening again.
I was hoping to use that rope as the longline and then tether off from that with our little hook lines.
Using stronger line is the obvious solution.
But the only longline on board that's strong enough belongs to Blowfish's trap, which he was just about to launch.
It kind of scuppers my kind of fishing, doesn't it? This is a real dilemma.
Commercial fishermen do use lines so I'm convinced it has more chance of success than Fish's trap.
I disagree.
It's not a competition.
We're not fishing singly.
It's not meant to be.
I'm not saying it's a competition, but This is a team effort.
Yeah, I know, but what am I doing on this? I can't pretend that I've not come halfway around the fricking world to not get a decent chance on that trap.
Yeah.
Basically, if we catch a toothfish, all will be forgotten.
Let's just hope we do, eh? Yeah.
In the morning, we have to start our long voyage back to Port Stanley.
This line is our last chance.
Right, get the bait down.
Make, make, make a wish.
Toothfish! Come on, lads.
Toothfish! This is the one.
Be careful of that rope.
That's going down.
That's burning.
That's going through.
Come on! To catch a toothfish, commercial fishermen use hundreds of lines and hooks and powerful mechanised winches for days at a time.
We're on our own, and after our line has been at the bottom of the ocean for the whole night, this is it.
We're ready to reel in for the last time.
I've got to admit I'm nervous.
That orange buoy represents our last shot, last cast of the die.
(GRUNTING) Mind out.
There you go.
Let's reel this bad boy in.
Go! Is it working? It's going like a dream, mate.
There is something on that, I'm telling you.
(PANTING) It's good.
Keep going.
Come on.
Just got to be rewarded with something, please.
Keep going, Jay.
Definitely a lot heavier than last time.
This line feels really heavy.
It's half an hour of gruelling effort, and then Stop! Is there anything there? Come on, let's pull it in.
Jay, give us some line.
Careful you don't let go of that.
Mate.
(GRUNTING) Nothing.
Oh, bare hooks.
Bare hooks! More bare hooks! OK.
Well, all the bait's gone.
(PANTS) Yeah, but little things, little creatures down there, crabs, other small fish, they would have thought this was just a free buffet.
Well, gentlemen All right, let's go and speak to him now.
All right.
Hey, mate, no-one can fault you for the effort.
Cos no-one can take that away from you.
We've known all along it was going to be tough, and it's only, I suppose, now that you realise, yeah, it was tough and it was difficult.
That's why we did it, you know? It's one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do.
We're probably the first people to come out here, fish for toothfish on a bike, in this beautiful, beautiful, empty expanse of ocean.
It's us, albatrosses, nothing else, and, like, it's been an incredible experience.
Going home empty-handed after such an epic adventure is hard to swallow CAPTAIN: Hello, gang.
Oh! and I suppose that's why the captain has decided to take pity on us.
The cook has managed to rustle up a couple of toothfish for you.
Oh, we got a toothfish! Wow.
(ALL LAUGHING) So, it's just That's what it looks like? That's what it looks like.
Here's one I caught earlier.
Thank you very much, sir.
Is it too late to pretend that we caught this? Can we quickly put a hook through it? You know Just slightly.
So we finally get to find out why this supposedly delicious fish is so highly prized.
Thank you, Charlie.
Thanks, boss.
Here you are, Fish.
Very nice.
Good team effort.
There you are, mate.
Look at that.
It's nice.
Might be a bit of bone in there.
Well, gentlemen, let's see what the fuss is all about.
Cheers.
Oh, dude, that's the boy, that is.
Ooh.
That is very nice.
Mm.
See why I dragged you all this way to try and catch one of these? That is absolutely beautiful.
Yeah.
Thank you, Charlie.
To the toothfish.
Next time.